Podcast Summary

Modern Love: “E. Jean Carroll’s Vibrant Sex Life Ended 30 Years Ago. She Wants It Back.”

Air Date: September 3, 2025
Host: Anna Martin (B)
Guest: E. Jean Carroll (C)

Overview

In this revealing episode of Modern Love, host Anna Martin speaks with journalist, author, and advice columnist E. Jean Carroll about the seismic changes in her experience of sex, love, and intimacy following her alleged sexual assault by Donald Trump in 1996. Carroll reflects on her once vibrant sex life, the trauma’s lifelong aftermath, the “armor” she built to move forward, and her desire—30 years on—to reclaim pleasure and connection. Honest and occasionally laced with Carroll’s signature wit, the episode examines both the cost and meaning of survival, resilience, and self-discovery.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. E. Jean Carroll Before 1996

• Carroll recalls herself as a "young, vibrant woman" in her 50s, thriving in her career with a daily TV show and a popular advice column, Ask E. Jean ([06:14-07:05]).
• She felt "like a million dollars," enjoying late-night talk shows, call-in relationship advice, and lively flings—even with her ex-husband John Johnson and screenwriter William Goldman ([07:05-07:46]).

  “A woman in her 50s is really at a powerful moment… You know more than you’ve ever known in your life. You still look great. Your body looks amazing because you know how to dress it.”
  —E. Jean Carroll ([06:42])

2. The Aftermath of Trauma

• Carroll describes the moments after the assault at Bergdorf's: profound confusion, adrenaline, and immediate coping by calling her friend Lisa Birnbach ([09:18-11:00]).

  “I felt… Have you felt a surge of adrenaline pouring through you? That means my body did exactly what it was meant to do. It got the hell out.”
  —E. Jean Carroll ([10:16])

• Lisa told her, "E. Jean, he raped you," crystallizing the reality ([11:00-11:38]).
• Carroll also shares the familial ethos to "smile and move on," a generational coping mechanism instilled since childhood ([12:10-12:49]).

  “In our family, we smiled. That’s what we did. … No, we all just smile, and we just all move on. We do not complain. It’s genetic. Smile.”
  —E. Jean Carroll ([12:29])

3. Suppressing Pain & Sexuality

• Despite the trauma, Carroll kept giving sex advice in her column—knowing she hadn’t had sex, calling herself “a hypocrite” and “the big fake” ([15:56-16:42]).

  “I knew I was a hypocrite because… why I’m advising people about how to have a good sex life. And I just had a horrible thing. I was able to do it with no qualms because I just really put—that’s how far I put it behind me.”
  —E. Jean Carroll ([15:56])

• She reveals she “never had it again” ([17:22-17:26])—completely ceased both sex and romance for 30 years.

4. Coming Forward & Realizations

• Publishing her 2019 story during #MeToo was pivotal. She mentions a key moment with her editor, Laurie Abraham, who interrogated her matter-of-fact admission of abstinence ([18:05-19:47]).

  “The last sentence was, ‘And I never had sex again.’ …Laurie immediately calls me on the—‘What? You never–what?’…Only one of [my reasons] was the real reason.”
  —E. Jean Carroll ([18:34-18:45]) “Donald Trump. ... The thing that was bad about it was just how much I had missed...how much the erotic anticipation ... all gone, gone.”
  —E. Jean Carroll ([19:03-19:47])

• She mourned not only lost sex but also the anticipation, romance, and “flirtation” that once animated her life ([20:02-20:41]).

• Notable anecdotes: She would deliberately avert her gaze from attractive men, recalling specific near-misses—moments she might have connected but couldn't allow herself to try ([20:41-22:03]).

5. Therapy, Clarity, and Grief

• A legal team-mandated meeting with trauma specialist Dr. Leslie Leibowitz forced Carroll to confront her own suffering ([25:44-26:42]):

  “At first, I thought I was getting away with it...I was so fabulous. About half a day of that, and then conk. ...By the end of it, I had such a stomachache. I was so sick on just what I had lost.”
  —E. Jean Carroll ([25:59-26:42])

• Leibowitz described Carroll’s “involuntary” avoidance of intimacy as a trauma response ([29:10-29:45]).

  “The process by which she avoids engaging with men is automatic, and it illustrates how her traumatic fear triggers involuntary behaviors intended to maintain safety.”
  —Dr. Leslie Leibowitz, read by Anna Martin ([29:13])

• Carroll grieves 30 years lost:

  “Just an old lady who had given up, you know, 30 years of her life. ... Wiped out 30 years of pleasure from her life. ... And here’s the worst part. I couldn’t correct it. And I have been trying.”
  —E. Jean Carroll ([28:11-28:41])

6. Desire and Hope for Renewal

• Carroll expresses, matter-of-factly but wistfully, her hope to break the pattern—to look up, smile, and perhaps even flirt again ([31:13-32:14]).

  “I do. I do. I do. I do. ... I keep an upbeat attitude ... I never stop trying, but I never stopped failing. But you never know.”
  —E. Jean Carroll ([31:13-31:25])

• She laughs about needing “a gun to her back” to make the first move, yet feels hope she might “surprise [herself]” ([31:48-32:11]).
• Carroll voices what many older women might feel: she’s not alone in wanting renewed intimacy, and her friends “hope for the same thing” ([32:28-32:36]).

7. What She Gained

• Despite the loss, Carroll affirms the satisfaction of holding Trump accountable:

  “I beat Donald Trump twice. I am the happiest woman in the United States of America. No one, trust me, no one is happier than I am every single day because I beat Donald Trump twice. Nobody is alive right now that is this happy. So that’s what it’s like beating Donald Trump.”
  —E. Jean Carroll ([33:02-33:29])

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On her flourishing pre-assault life:

  “A woman in her 50s is really at a powerful moment.” ([06:42])

• On generational coping:

  “We do not complain. It’s genetic. Smile.” ([12:29])

• On being a ‘hypocrite’ for giving sex advice:

  “There I am. I joined those ranks, the big fake. I know I knew I was faking it, but I thought I was helping people, and I was, so I did it.” ([16:42])

• On realizing the loss:

  “I had wiped out 30 years of pleasure from her life.” ([28:13])

• On hope:

  “I keep an upbeat attitude … I never stop trying, but I never stopped failing. But you never know.” ([31:25])

• On her sense of victory:

  “No one, trust me, no one is happier than I am every single day because I beat Donald Trump twice.” ([33:02-33:29])

Timestamps for Key Segments

• 00:45: Carroll’s public and professional persona, pre-2019
• 06:14–08:46: Her flourishing sex life and ambitions before the assault
• 09:18–11:38: Detailed account of her immediate reaction and coping mechanisms
• 12:10–13:55: Family philosophy of “moving on”
• 15:56–17:26: On feeling like a ‘hypocrite’ and abstaining from sex for three decades
• 18:05–20:41: Realization of what she’d lost post-trauma, prompted by her editor
• 25:44–28:41: Effects of trauma made clear in therapy
• 29:13: Leibowitz’s analysis of Carroll’s trauma response
• 31:13–32:14: Determination and ambivalence about “trying again” at intimacy
• 33:02–33:29: Triumph over Trump

Episode Tone

• Carroll’s characteristic humor, candor, and resilience are woven throughout, even when describing profound loss and vulnerability.
• The conversation is honest, at times joyful despite the gravity, punctuated with laughter and hope.
• Anna Martin’s questions are gentle but incisive, facilitating a space where pain and ambition for renewal coexist.

Summary prepared for listeners seeking deep insight into E. Jean Carroll’s story of survival, realization, and the ongoing quest for joy and intimacy.