Modern Love: "He’s Gay. She’s Straight. They’re Newlyweds." (Encore)
Date: March 25, 2026
Host: Anna Martin

Episode Overview

In this heartfelt encore episode, host Anna Martin revisits the unique love story of Jacob Hoff and Samantha Greenstone—a newlywed couple whose relationship, marked by Jacob being gay and Samantha being straight, defies conventional boundaries. This conversation explores the origins of their bond, the complexity of identity, coming out, and what genuine partnership looks like beyond traditional expectations.

At the top, Anna teases an exciting update: since their wedding, Samantha and Jacob have welcomed a baby boy. But the episode focuses on the couple’s original interview, delving into how their soul-deep partnership formed, survived, and flourished in the face of uncertainty, confusion, and social scrutiny.

How They Met & Early Connection

[04:40–08:25]

• Meeting at a Musical Callback:
  Jacob and Samantha first met during callback auditions for “Fiddler on the Roof.” Samantha’s bold, fearless audition immediately caught Jacob’s attention.

  • Jacob: “I was enamored… this person literally didn’t give a fuck.” [05:05]
  • Samantha: “I needed just this high five to let me know… you did a good job.” [05:44]

• Immediate and Unique Bond:
  While both felt a “sacred” connection, confusion lingered because Jacob was out to Samantha as gay.

  • Samantha: “I was like, well, he’s gay, so can it be that? But it felt like that, yeah.” [06:02]

• Attraction and Soul Connection:
  Jacob describes his attraction to Samantha as “a deep well,” distinct from his physical attraction to men, which he characterizes as “shallow and surface.” Their bond is transcendent, rooted in mutual understanding and soul-level compatibility.

  • Jacob: “It’s such an attraction to who she is… her entity… not in that sort of lustful sense.” [08:38]

Navigating Romance and Identity

[08:25–16:12]

• Acknowledging Romantic Feelings:
  Both recount slow realization and hesitance in advancing the relationship due to Jacob’s sexuality.

  • Samantha: “I was also very guarded… I knew that it was so special that I didn’t want to mess anything up.” [10:15]
  • Jacob recalls his fear: “I wasn’t going to be capable… that was the one kink in the hose.” [13:11]

• Turning Point:
  About 18 months into friendship, Samantha sends Jacob a direct text: “Do you ever feel more than just a friend for me?”
  Jacob, initially panicked, admits: “Of course I feel more for you than a friend and I’m willing to try and see where this goes.” [13:01]

• First Intimate Moment:
  Their first kiss feels natural, not awkward or staged.

  • Samantha: “It just felt like we’d always kind of fit together.”
  • Jacob: “All of that just slipped away in that moment, and it was just, like, normal.” [15:28]

Facing Inner and Outer Challenges

[16:12–28:22]

• Ongoing Uncertainty:
  Even after becoming a couple, doubts emerge as the relationship deepens and they navigate what it means to “build a life together.”

  • Jacob: “Is this something maintainable? ... I was very resolved with Samantha, but there was always that fear…” [16:12–17:00]

• Jacob’s Closeted Life:
  Jacob discusses growing up in a conservative Christian family where he couldn’t safely come out, describing specific moments of repression and discomfort.

  • Jacob: “I wanted to be the hotshot guy and have success. And, you know, that was troubling.” [22:14]

Communication, Conflict, and Growth

[24:51–28:22]

• Struggle with Communication:
  Samantha often tried to coax clarity and reassurance, navigating Jacob’s struggle to express his feelings about his sexuality and their relationship.
  • Samantha: “I don’t think it was because Jacob did not feel safe... Jacob just didn’t know that there is a healthy way to talk about hard things with people.” [23:47]
  • Jacob: “My tactic was like… let me see if I can do it through real world examples.” [26:20]
    But this often led to Jacob’s frustration and anger—manifesting as “explosive” reactions and even road rage.

Coming Out and Transformation

[28:22–32:18]

• Coming Out to Family:
  When Jacob contracts Covid, he experiences an epiphany about finally coming out to his father.

  • Jacob: “All of a sudden I thought, I need to tell my dad about this.” [29:03]
  • Jacob: “I have to tell you something. I’m gay. I feel I am a gay person and Samantha is my girlfriend, but this is just our relationship…” [29:33]
  • The reaction is unexpectedly accepting: “He actually was so accepting, like, so, so just like, okay. And it went over almost too easy.” [30:08]

• Aftermath:

  • Samantha reports: “It was like a new person was talking to me. So much of that anger dissipated instantly.” [31:19]

Identity, Labels, and Affirmation

[32:18–36:42]

• Importance of the ‘Gay’ Label:
  Jacob clarifies why it remains essential (and accurate) to him to identify as “gay,” not bisexual, despite his marriage to a woman.

  • Jacob: “The label gay is so important to me… it’s the label that fits. I’m solely attracted to men. And Samantha, being my soulmate, is its own star in another galaxy.” [33:57]

• Samantha’s Security:
  The lack of conventional physical attraction does not diminish, but rather elevates, Samantha’s sense of being loved.

  • Samantha: “When Jacob looks at me, he’s seeing me for me and my being. ... I know Jacob is attracted to me. ... It can transcend even their sexual desires because they’ve just found… a soul.” [35:17]

Privilege, Public Perception & Criticism

[36:42–38:49]

• Observing Privilege:
  The couple acknowledge that, seen as a straight white couple, they’re able to move through the world with privileges often denied to same-sex couples.

  • Jacob: “We are what we are. On the surface… we are a straight white couple that can just go around the world looking and presenting that way… And some of the backlash we receive has even come from the queer community where they think we’re trying to threaten that…” [37:16]

• Message to Listeners:

  • Jacob: “We believe we’re one in a million, that this can work… we’re not trying to threaten anybody. We’re trying to add to the conversation and say, we’re here too.” [38:42]

What Their Love Means

[38:55–40:24]

• Essence of Their Story:
  • Samantha: “It’s just a true love story of two people who fell in love with one another for all of the right reasons.” [39:04]
  • Jacob: “Being open and honest about your feelings is always, always the right answer… Finding my truth and being able to speak it … gave me peace. And don’t worry about the rejection.” [39:46, 40:20]

Memorable Quotes

• “When you are with the right person, this thing is tethering you guys so firmly together that it is an unbreakable bond. And I think… it’s the secret to love.” — Samantha [02:11]
• “Samantha isn’t a woman. She’s a soulmate and a companionship.” — Jacob [34:32]
• “If only you could see and feel what I feel and how attractive I feel and how much I know Jacob is attracted to me.” — Samantha [35:17]
• “We’re trying to add to the conversation and say, we’re here too.” — Jacob [38:49]

Update

[40:38]

Anna reveals that almost a year after their wedding, Samantha and Jacob welcomed a baby boy. Parenting has deepened their bond, and their love story continues—now with musical soundtracks for their son.

Key Timestamps

• First meeting/audition: [04:44–05:44]
• Confusion around connection and sexuality: [06:02–09:12]
• Deciding to act on feelings: [10:53–13:01]
• First kiss & intimacy: [13:47–15:25]
• Communication challenges: [24:51–26:20]
• Coming out with Covid epiphany: [28:22–30:30]
• Defining labels and attraction: [33:39–35:17]
• Addressing privilege: [36:42–37:57]
• Samantha and Jacob’s message: [38:55–40:24]
• Baby update: [40:38]

Tone

The conversation is candid, warm, and unguarded, marked by humor (references to homo and Titanic wedding cakes), vulnerability, and a palpable sense of relief as both partners describe becoming truly seen by each other. Anna Martin guides the interview with thoughtful, empathetic questions, providing space for reflection and nuance.

Ideal for listeners interested in the myriad forms love can take, “He’s Gay. She’s Straight. They’re Newlyweds.” shows that true partnership arises from honesty, soul-deep understanding, and the courage to defy expectations—as told in the couple’s own eloquent, irreverent, and loving words.