Podcast Summary: Modern Love — "Jessie Buckley Became a Mother for 'Hamnet.' Then She Became a Real One." (Encore)

Podcast: Modern Love (The New York Times)
Host: Anna Martin
Guest: Jessie Buckley
Original Air Date: March 11, 2026

Episode Overview

This episode of Modern Love features celebrated actress Jessie Buckley, fresh off an illustrious awards season for her role as Agnes (Shakespeare’s wife) in the film adaptation of Hamnet. Host Anna Martin interviews Jessie shortly after the birth of her daughter, exploring how playing a mother on screen intersected with her own profound transition into motherhood. The episode weaves together reflective conversations, a reading of the Modern Love essay "The Wrong Kind of Inheritance" by Victoria Daugherty, and a moving discussion about intergenerational love, healing, and the legacy of mothers and daughters.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Transition to Motherhood: Discovery and Awe

• Becoming a New Person
  Jessie describes the all-encompassing change of becoming a parent, quoting advice from a friend:

  “Just remember that you are also a new thing. Everything’s new. You know, this little human’s new, you’re new, your relationship’s new. The whole. Your whole relationship to the world is new.” (01:36 — Jessie Buckley)

• Rediscovering Awe
  Jessie reflects on sharing thousands of daily discoveries with her new baby and recapturing the sense of awe for the world that babies experience:

  “The thing that I’m reminded of is awe… as we get older we think we have control.” (02:26 — Jessie Buckley)

2. Connecting with Agnes in 'Hamnet': Wildness and Primal Instincts

• Relating to Wildness
  Jessie connects deeply with Agnes’s untamed nature, linking it to her own upbringing in rural Ireland:

  “We’ve just become so disconnected from our own wildness and our own relationship to the earth and to nature and to our own condition as humans and human nature.” (05:02 — Jessie Buckley)

• Personal Roots
  She describes growing up surrounded by nature and how it gave her a sense of being “only a tiny, tiny thing in relation to a world that is so big.”
• Embodying Primal Motherhood
  Jessie discusses how, while filming Hamnet, she yearned for motherhood and processed her desires through the character of Agnes:

  “I deeply wanted to become a mother in myself...to move through this woman and her motherhood and her love and her loss before I became a mother myself.” (06:26 — Jessie Buckley)

3. Tenderness and Strength

• Vulnerability as Strength
  Jessie explores how playing Agnes allowed her to experience tenderness as strength:

  “To step into tenderness as a strong woman was something that I...didn’t realize I was looking for...It’s actually incredibly strong to be tender, and it’s also deeply vulnerable.” (08:07 — Jessie Buckley)

• Lasting Change
  She shares how this experience fundamentally changed her:

  “It’s changed me. It’s changed my everything.” (08:07 — Jessie Buckley)

4. Portraying Grief and Maternal Love: The Primal Scream Scene

• Spontaneity in Performance
  Jessie recounts filming the pivotal moment of Agnes’s grief after losing Hamnet, noting the scream was unscripted and emerged naturally:

  “I didn’t know that scream was gonna come. That was not in the script. None of us knew...it’s ancient, it’s kind of like a scream for 100 mothers who’ve lost their children.” (11:32 — Jessie Buckley)

• Connection to Grief
  She relates this performance to her understanding of love, loss, and the universality of maternal grief.

5. Reading and Discussing 'The Wrong Kind of Inheritance'

• Essay Reading (Victoria Daugherty) (15:57–26:08)
  Jessie reads a powerful Modern Love essay about generational trauma, the fear of loss, and a transformative mother-daughter relationship in the midst of a child's illness.
• Themes Highlighted
  • Inherited fears and superstitions (“the curse”)
  • The deep bond and healing possible between mothers and daughters, even after years of distance
  • How shared adversity can create new closeness and understanding

6. Reflections on Maternal Lineage and Breaking Curses

• Jessie’s Own Mother’s Influence
  Jessie draws parallels to her own family history, describing her mother’s journey from feeling sidelined in life to finding fulfillment and independence later in life:

  “She’s a harpist and a singer… She now works in palliative care for neonatal, but also for elderly people...She’s waking something up in these people and has found in freeing herself and being as full in her life, this wild intimacy with things that might be just about to be lost.” (29:43 — Jessie Buckley)

• Breaking the Cycle
  Jessie shares that her mother’s courage “cracked a curse” for their family, and she hopes to pass that sense of fullness and permission to be “not too much” on to her own daughter.

  “All the parts of you are not too much. You know, the world needs all of you… no too muchness. It’s only to be lived fully.” (33:36 — Jessie Buckley)

7. Celebrating the Women Who Supported Her

• Bringing Her Midwife to the Premiere
  Jessie humorously discusses taking her midwife, who witnessed her at her most vulnerable, to a Hamnet showing:

  “She saw me, like, growling like a buffalo on my bathroom floor for 26 hours… she saw every ounce of me.” (36:36 — Jessie Buckley)
  She honors how her midwife, like her mother, represents the strength and sacredness of women and caregivers.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Motherhood’s Transformation:

  “You are also a new thing. Everything’s new...your whole relationship to the world is new.” (01:36 — Jessie Buckley)

• On Awe and Parenting:

  “Awe can sometimes feel very vulnerable…you don’t have control of this new discovery, you’re just in relation to it.” (02:26 — Jessie Buckley)

• On Wildness:

  “Things grew because they wanted to grow… climbing mountains gave you an absolute respect that you’re only a tiny, tiny thing in relation to a world that is so big.” (05:02 — Jessie Buckley)

• On Portraying Grief:

  “I feel like in some ways that scream isn’t… it’s ancient, it’s kind of like a scream for 100 mothers who’ve lost their children in some way.” (11:32 — Jessie Buckley)

• On Breaking Family Curses:

  “Something has to interrupt your life in some way to kind of wake you up and wake you up into yourself again and find your voice outside of the curse.” (28:12 — Jessie Buckley)

• On Living Fully:

  “There’s no too muchness. It’s only to be lived fully.” (33:36 — Jessie Buckley)

Timestamps for Key Segments

| Timestamp | Segment | |---------------|--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 01:29 | Jessie Buckley discusses becoming a new mother | | 02:26 | Reflection on awe and discovery with a newborn | | 05:02 | The wildness of Agnes and Jessie’s own wild roots | | 06:26 | Yearning for motherhood while playing a mother | | 08:07 | Tenderness as strength | | 11:32 | The improvised primal scream in the film | | 15:57–26:08 | Jessie reads Modern Love essay “The Wrong Kind of Inheritance” | | 28:12 | Reflection on breaking generational curses | | 29:43 | Jessie describes her mother’s transformation and her influence | | 33:36 | Hopes for her daughter — “the world needs all of you” | | 35:31 | Discussing bringing her midwife to the Hamnet premiere | | 36:36 | Humor and humility sharing the red carpet with her midwife | | 37:16 | Jessie talks about how her mother perceives her work |

Themes & Tone

• Reflective and Intimate: The episode maintains a gentle, searching tone, as Jessie explores private feelings and memories.
• Primal and Celebratory: There’s an undercurrent of honoring the elemental aspects of birth, grief, and the force of womanhood.
• Generational Healing: Both the essay and the interview focus on overcoming inherited trauma, fostering forgiveness, and redefining legacies.
• Warm and Humorous: Jessie’s sense of humor comes through, especially when recounting personal anecdotes about her family and support system.

Summary for New Listeners

This episode is an evocative meditation on how art, life, and love can entwine. Through Anna Martin’s thoughtful questions and Jessie Buckley’s open-hearted answers, listeners witness the way in which playing a mother onscreen foreshadowed and enriched Jessie’s actual journey into motherhood. The episode is further deepened by the reading of a Modern Love essay about intergenerational resilience. Jessie’s warmth, wit, and respect for the women in her life make this both a homage to maternal lineages and a moving celebration of what it means to live, grieve, and love fully.

Highly recommended if you’re drawn to stories about motherhood, the meaning of family, and the ways we break cycles and step into new, fuller versions of ourselves.