Modern Love Podcast: "Let Yourself Rage With Poet Laureate Ada Limón"

Release Date: April 9, 2025 | Host: Anna Martin | Episode Duration: Approximately 36 minutes

Introduction

In this poignant episode of Modern Love, host Anna Martin engages in an intimate conversation with Ada Limón, America's Poet Laureate, whose term concluded in April 2025. The episode delves deep into the intricate relationship between love and poetry, exploring how poetic expression can navigate the tumultuous waters of human emotions, particularly rage and grief. Limón shares personal anecdotes, discusses her creative processes, and reflects on the emotions that fuel her writing.

Ada Limón's Legacy as Poet Laureate

Ada Limón’s tenure as Poet Laureate was marked by innovative projects that brought poetry into everyday spaces. Anna Martin highlights Limón's initiative to install poems on picnic tables across national parks, allowing visitors to engage with poetry amidst nature. One standout project includes a poem engraved inside a NASA spacecraft bound for Jupiter, symbolizing poetry's boundless reach.

Notable Quote:

"I would put them everywhere without littering, of course. This might sound like a cheesy thing to say, but I think we'd all be better off if we encountered poetry on a regular basis."
— Ada Limón [02:37]

Exploring Love Through Poetry

The core of the episode revolves around the intersection of love and poetry. Limón discusses her deep connection with the Modern Love essay she chose to read, which narrates the emotional turmoil of falling for a captivating poet. She emphasizes how poetry serves as a vessel for expressing the most vulnerable and messy feelings, allowing both writers and readers to feel profoundly connected.

Key Discussion Points:

• Vulnerability in Artistic Circles: Limón reflects on how writers and artists often form deep connections through shared vulnerabilities, facilitating intense emotions and sometimes leading to crushes or love.

• The Power of Crushes: She views crushes as both torturous and beneficial, serving as distractions that can provide relief from personal struggles and creative blocks.

Notable Quote:

"I think that if we embrace that kind of anger, we can recognize that there's some insanity in it and that it also is not always telling you the truth."
— Ada Limón [21:46]

Reading and Reflecting on "An Empty Heart is One that Can Be Filled" by Lilly King

Limón reads Lilly King's essay, a narrative about heartbreak and the transformative power of feeling deeply. The essay recounts King's intense but ultimately unreciprocated relationship with a poet during a writing residency, highlighting the raw emotions of love, loss, and eventual healing.

Notable Passages:

• The depiction of the poet's intimate gestures juxtaposed with his inability to fully commit reflects the complexity of human relationships.
• King's realization that embracing heartbreak allowed her to remain open to genuine love in the future.

Notable Quote:

"I was heartbroken, but I felt less alone than I had in a long while."
— Lilly King (via Ada Limón) [18:38]

The Therapeutic Role of Rage and Grief

A significant portion of the conversation explores how rage and grief are pivotal in processing pain and fostering emotional growth. Limón shares her personal strategy for dealing with rage—feeling it fully and channeling it into writing, which serves as both a release and a pathway to healing.

Practical Insights:

• Embracing Emotions: Limón advocates for confronting rather than suppressing emotions, allowing oneself to feel rage as a precursor to grief and eventual acceptance.

• Writing as Catharsis: Daily journaling and poetic expression are highlighted as essential tools for managing intense emotions and transforming them into creative energy.

Notable Quote:

"I think that the rage is actually protecting us and it's safer than grief."
— Ada Limón [21:37]

Personal Anecdotes and Reflections

Limón shares anecdotes from her own experiences, including her first writing residency post-September 11th, where she grappled with balancing love and creative focus. She discusses the challenges of falling in love within artistic communities and how these relationships can both inspire and distract from creative endeavors.

Notable Quote:

"I really focus on him. And how can I make it like this is us? It's not love with a capital L, it's our love, which is, with a little lowercase love that is daily and needy and beautiful in its own way."
— Ada Limón [30:56]

Crafting Authentic Love Poems

The dialogue transitions to the art of writing love poems. Limón acknowledges the inherent difficulty in capturing genuine emotion without falling into clichés. She emphasizes the importance of specificity and personal truth, striving to depict love as a nuanced, everyday experience rather than grandiose declarations.

Practical Advice:

• Focus on the Ordinary: Incorporating mundane details to create relatable and heartfelt poetry.

• Authenticity Over Perfection: Prioritizing genuine emotion over poetic perfection to resonate deeply with readers.

Notable Quote:

"I want the love poem to be really for him. That's how I stay in the moment, is I really focus on him."
— Ada Limón [31:56]

Conclusion: Embracing the Emotional Spectrum

As the conversation wraps up, Limón underscores the significance of embracing the full spectrum of human emotions. She advocates for allowing oneself to feel deeply—whether it's rage, grief, love, or joy—as a means of connecting more profoundly with oneself and others. Limón’s insights illuminate how poetry can be a powerful tool for navigating and expressing the complexities of love and loss.

Final Notable Quote:

"I think heartbreak makes you feel that way. I think it protects us and it's safer than grief."
— Ada Limón [22:38]

Additional Resources

• Books Mentioned:

  • You Are Poetry in the Natural World edited by Ada Limón
  • New and Selected Poems by Ada Limón
  • Heart the Lover by Lilly King

• Listen and Subscribe:

  • Full access to Modern Love and other New York Times podcasts available at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify.
  • New York Times Audio app for iOS users available at nytimes.com/audioapp.

This episode of Modern Love offers a heartfelt exploration of how embracing our deepest emotions through poetry can lead to personal transformation and a greater connection to the world around us. Ada Limón’s candid reflections provide listeners with both inspiration and practical guidance on navigating love’s challenges through the written word.