Modern Love Podcast

Episode: Nic and Olandria on What the ‘Love Island’ Cameras Missed
Host: Anna Martin
Guests: Alandria Carthen & Nick Van Steenberg (from Love Island USA, Season 7)
Date: August 27, 2025

Overview

This episode of Modern Love dives into the post–Love Island USA experience of Alandria Carthen and Nick Van Steenberg, widely celebrated (and debated) as the season’s “slow burn,” “friends-to-lovers” couple. Host Anna Martin explores what was real and what was lost in the edit, how the pair navigated behind-the-scenes pressures, and what it’s like to try to keep love alive after leaving the villa—and coming under the scrutiny of a passionate TV audience.

Key Discussion Points And Insights

1. "The Edit" vs. Reality: What You Didn’t See

• Editing & Perception: Alandria expresses strong frustration at how the show’s editing painted her as “desperate” for Taylor’s affection, omitting his reciprocation and misrepresenting their dynamic (13:02).
  • “Do you think I would really put all this effort into a man that’s not putting in an effort for me? I know I’m confident, and I’ve been trying to clear that up… I am not delusional, guys.” – Alandria (09:11)
• Fan Reactions: Anna details the polarized fandom: some accused their romance of being strategic, while the “Nicolandria Army” passionately supported its authenticity (02:00).
• Taylor’s Real Character: Both defend Taylor from viewer backlash, explaining that the show didn’t capture his attentiveness and effort (11:35).

2. Personal Backstories & Motivations

• Alandria’s “Overhealed” Approach: After a formative and overly forgiving relationship, Alandria entered Love Island vowing to give grace and second chances, even if it made her more open to heartbreak (05:11).
  • “After I just done away with that situation, I was like, you know what? The first red flag I see, I’m out. Like, I cannot… So when I was asked to come onto the show, I was like... We’re gonna believe in second chances.” – Alandria (05:08)
• Nick’s Restless Transience: Post-breakup, Nick prioritized travel and independence, only agreeing to the show as a potential chance to find connection—admitting he wasn’t actually ready for real commitment at first (07:14).

3. Friendships and Romantic Twists Inside the Villa

• Triangles, Squares & “Soul Ties”:
  • Nick describes his season as a “Bermuda Triangle” between Ciara and Bella, revealing the emotional labor and internal struggle, rather than a fun “player” situation (21:08).
  • Iconic kisses—especially the one in the “Soul Ties” area—sparked massive fan investment, even though both initially denied romantic connection due to guilt about others’ feelings (24:53).
    • “In that moment in time, I did feel something… I didn’t allow myself to truly feel what I wanted to feel when it came to Nick and admitted to him… I felt terrible for Sierra and Taylor.” – Alandria (25:23)
    • “You watch that playback, it’s like—how are you going to tell me you didn’t feel [anything]?… I’m looking at myself, telling myself, ‘You literally zoned out for a moment.’” – Nick (28:13)
• Building Gradually: Their connection was a “slow burn,” developing from mutual support and friendship as each navigated drama with others (29:22).
  • “If you tell a rom com writer to go write a rom com, you’re gonna write a story about Nickelandria.” – Nick (29:41)

4. Dealing With the Public: Fame, Pressure, & Privacy

• The Parasocial Tsunami: Nick and Alandria discuss the strain of parasocial relationships (fans’ intense investment in their romance), and how it adds pressure to perform love for strangers (30:34).
  • “In reality, we’ve been together for a few weeks… There’s so much pressure for us to get married and have kids. But this is our real life relationship.” – Nick (31:07)
• Boundaries After the Show: Now they’re prioritizing privacy, real-world pace, and tuning out fans’ expectations around public displays of affection or accelerating their commitment (31:57).
  • “We don’t need to be sharing our relationship anymore, to that extent… The true supporters will realize that.” – Nick (31:57)

5. Defining the Relationship (DTR)

• Labels & Modern Dating: Deliberately label-free, they say they’re “dating” but not “boyfriend/girlfriend”—highlighting both the fleeting time since the show and the lessons of moving at their own pace (32:24).
  • “We’re not girlfriend boyfriend yet, but it’s like this thing we’ve been building over time… Like, whether or not you want to call that girlfriend or boyfriend, I call that, like, a strong relationship.” – Nick (32:31)
  • “In the real world, Love Island aside, I don’t decide to be someone’s girlfriend within the two or three weeks. Like, come on, guys.” – Alandria (34:20)

6. After the Reunion: Choosing Privacy, Handling Hate

• Reunion Aftermath: Having re-watched the season and survived the reunion, both are done defending their romance and plan to limit what they share publicly, especially as viewers pick apart both their connection and each other as individuals (37:57, 39:22).
  • “At first, I was so open… But I don’t know, here lately, it’s just been insanely intense. So I kind of just want to keep it private…” – Alandria (37:57)
  • “We were so open in the villa. It’s kind of nice to finally dictate how much privacy we want to have… The decision right now is: keep things private.” – Nick (39:22)

7. Friendships & Support Networks

• Loyalty and Betrayal: Alandria opens up about her disappointment with former villa friend Huda, who she says didn’t stand up for her when faced with racist online hate during the show’s airing (40:32).
  • “Me, even having to ask her to speak out towards the racist fans… It’s something you should have automatically did if you truly cared about me.” – Alandria (40:47)
• Support Systems: Both explain how friendships inside and outside the villa became lifelines for surviving scrutiny and hate—from Nick and Alandria relying on each other, to Alandria’s lasting bond with fellow contestant Shelly (42:38).
  • “Just, you know, keeping the screen time limited, and, you know, calling her, seeing where her head’s at, still checking up on each other as if we’re in the villa.” – Nick (43:17)

8. Emotional Growth: Communication Skills Learned

• Being More Open: Love Island forced both to have frank, vulnerable conversations about their feelings—something they say they’ve brought into real life (44:44).
  • “It kind of for you into those uncomfortable positions to have those conversations. So I became more confident in having those conversations…” – Alandria (44:44)
  • “As men, it’s hard for us, but that whole Love Island experience made it a bit easier. So I still try to pull Landry for, you know, chats.” – Nick (45:15)

Notable Quotes and Memorable Moments

• (03:03) Nick: "In the real world... relationships are so hard... when you have this like story ending, you know, grand finale of coming back to each other after all of this, you know, BS... people resonate with the hardships."
• (04:37) Anna: "Why did you both think you were single?"
  (After a long silence, both laugh and bond over the awkward vulnerability.)
• (15:18) Anna: “I thought I was doing it right. I just want to find love so bad.” (Describing Alandria’s emotional moment to camera, the first time viewers saw her vulnerability on TV.)
• (29:41) Nick: "If you tell a rom com writer to go write a rom com, you're gonna write a story about Nickelandria."
• (31:07) Nick: "In reality, we've been together for a few weeks... There's so much pressure for us to get married and have kids. But this is our real life relationship."
• (34:20) Alandria: "In the real world, Love island aside, I don't decide to be someone's girlfriend within the two or three weeks. Like, come on, guys."
• (39:22) Nick: "Now, the decision between Alandria and I is keep things private."
• (44:44) Alandria: "Being in the villa, you had no choice. Pretty much all of your chats were centered around your true feelings… I became more confident in having those conversations."

Timestamps for Important Segments

• 02:00: Introduction to the “Nickelandria Army” and fan presence
• 05:08: Alandria explains “overhealing” post-breakup
• 09:11–13:32: Alandria defends her efforts with Taylor; both dispute how editing depicted them
• 21:08: Nick describes the “Bermuda Triangle” of his villa relationships
• 24:53–28:13: Soul Ties kiss—both admit to feeling something beyond friendship
• 29:22–31:57: Defining the friends-to-lovers arc & dealing with audience pressure
• 37:57–39:22: Decision to prioritize privacy after the reunion, addressing fan backlash
• 40:47: Alandria candidly addresses feeling let down by a friend amid racist hate
• 44:44–45:34: Takeaways about emotional communication learned from the experience

Episode Tone and Closing

The episode strikes a vulnerable, lively, and occasionally exasperated tone. Both Nick and Alandria are candid not only about their feelings for each other but about the costs of fame and the distortions of reality TV. They balance humor and introspection, pushing back against public misperceptions while refusing to let those voices dictate the pace or shape of their relationship.

Memorable Sign-Off:

• Nick (45:37): “We’re going on a hot air balloon and having dinner. I don’t know how or when… Yeah, I’m trying to figure it out right now.”
• Anna (45:51): “Nick, Alandria, what a pleasure. Thanks for talking to me again.”

Summary

Nickelandria’s journey, as unpacked here, becomes both a mirror for modern dating dilemmas and a parable about boundary-setting in the age of reality TV. The episode underscores: what viewers see is never the whole story; love can grow even under the weirdest scrutiny; and learning to communicate—and say "no" to the outside world—is often the bravest act of all.