Modern Love – The Real Story Behind Jennette McCurdy’s Novel “Half His Age”
Host: Anna Martin (New York Times)
Guest: Jennette McCurdy (author, actor)
Date: February 4, 2026
Episode Overview
In this deeply personal episode, Anna Martin sits down with Jennette McCurdy to discuss McCurdy’s new novel, Half His Age, and the real-life experiences—in particular an age-gap relationship at 18—that inspired it. The conversation is an unfiltered exploration of power, longing, anger, female adolescence, and the complexities of consent, agency, and memory within imbalanced relationships.
Content note: This episode contains explicit discussion of sexuality, abuse of power in relationships, and coming-of-age themes.
Key Discussion Points & Insights
1. The Premise & Themes of Half His Age
[02:40] Jennette McCurdy:
- The novel explores “female rage and power and desire as told through the lens of a very lonely and ravenous 17-year-old girl,” Waldo.
- Waldo is desperate for experiences, transformation, and, above all, identity. She seeks fulfillment through clothing, beauty, love, and intimacy.
[03:33] McCurdy on Waldo’s Background:
- Waldo is raised by a teen mother in trailer parks, entering her senior year with low self-esteem shaped by her circumstances and societal messages.
2. Mr. Corgi: Writing with Empathy vs. Judgment
[04:06] McCurdy:
- Mr. Corgi, the 40-year-old teacher involved with Waldo, was challenging to write:
- Early drafts cast him as a clear villain, a reflex from McCurdy’s own protective feelings for Waldo.
- For depth and realism, McCurdy ultimately strove to empathize with him: “He’s living with regrets and disappointment, most of that unprocessed… trying to feel okay with himself, despite really feeling shame about not living up to his expectations for the life that he wanted.”
[05:18] Anna Martin:
- Anna observes that the novel’s refusal to straightforwardly condemn Corgi or sentimentalize Waldo heightens its discomfort and complexity.
3. Writing a Teenage Perspective
[08:03] McCurdy and Martin:
- Anna describes the “bravado and insecurity” of being 17, the constant vacillation between feeling mature and feeling lost—a feeling McCurdy skillfully captures.
- McCurdy, now 33, relates to the intensity if not the instability: “I always say, if emotions are on a scale of one to ten, I don’t really feel anything beneath an eight… I’m such a feeler.”
4. Anger and Female Agency
[11:41] McCurdy:
- Waldo’s suppressed anger is a central element, reflected in her assertive sexuality:
[12:16] Jennette McCurdy:
“It was so important to me that Waldo be very aggressive, very forward… because ultimately, she is still 17… No matter what this girl does, no matter how she… she could throw herself at his feet… he’s still 40 and he’s still her teacher.”
- If Mr. Corgi had initiated, the story would have been easier for readers to judge, but McCurdy wanted “gray area.”
5. Sex as the Arena of Wanting
[13:53] Quote from Half His Age (read by Martin):
“Sex is the one where my needs aren’t too big and all of my yearnings acceptable. The one place where I can show how deep the well is within me. The one place I can beg and whine and scream to have it filled.”
[14:29] McCurdy:
- Many young women channel emotional needs through sex, often not knowing how to articulate wants besides physical ones.
6. McCurdy’s Real-Life Age-Gap Relationship
[15:20]–[21:07]† McCurdy:
- At 18, McCurdy began a relationship with a man in his mid-30s. Unlike Waldo, she was “so much more naive,” with strong Mormon influences shaping her sexuality and self-image.
- She had virtually no dating or physical experience.
- The man, at first, had a live-in girlfriend—“red flags on red flags,” which she only recognized in retrospect.
- What drew her to him: His “realness” and willingness to see through her people-pleasing, façade-based persona; he made her feel truly “seen.”
[23:54] McCurdy:
- The physical chemistry was intense and unprecedented for her.
7. Secrets, Shame, and Familiar Trauma
[25:48]–[26:20] McCurdy:
- The secrecy and stress of the relationship “felt familiar.”
- Growing up with chaos at home (parents fighting), her body accepted chaos as normalcy.
8. Sexual Inexperience & Power Imbalance
[26:58]–[33:14] McCurdy:
- She recounts her sexual inexperience, not even knowing what “cum” was (“I thought he peed in my mouth”)—a mix of confusion, body discomfort, and—later—humor.
[27:38] Jennette McCurdy:
“I didn’t really see or understand my value in other areas at all. I… really believed that my value came from sex.”
-
The man pressured her sexually, using manipulative language:
“I need to know that you’re comfortable doing something. I’m okay not having sex, but I need to know that you’ll do something because I have to have my needs met.” [30:56]
-
Her anxiety and people-pleasing drove her to comply, always rating herself by how much she accommodated him.
9. The Uses of Humor with Darkness
[33:19] McCurdy:
- Humor is integral—not to trivialize, but to represent the full range of reality:
“There’s so much humor and levity in dark subject matter, and to pretend there isn’t is actually denying the truth of it.”
10. Ending the Relationship & Later Reflection
[37:32]–[39:31] McCurdy:
- She eventually left him (“I left his ass”)—spurred on by a sense that her “life [was] in front of me.”
- She rarely looked back; when she moved on, she was done.
[39:42] The Role of Anger in Healing:
- In her 30s, McCurdy has learned to meet her past self with compassion, to process things that in her 20s she could not.
- Writing gave her “closure where there wasn’t closure,” transforming rage into softness and, paradoxically, even appreciation.
- She now sees anger as a mobilizing force responsible for empowering her to leave detrimental relationships and to heal.
[44:17] Jennette McCurdy:
“Thank God for anger. I think sadness can really, for me, keep me stuck… But my God, anger will get me off the fucking chair and making some decisions and moving forward and doing the work.”
Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments
-
On empathy for her abuser:
“I had to go in and try to really empathize with him, really find that compassion for him and really feel into the reality of being someone in his position, and the reality of being Waldo.”
—Jennette McCurdy [06:01] -
On teenage longing:
“She’s desperately seeking identity, and solace, and comfort, in many different areas of life.”
—McCurdy on Waldo [02:55] -
Anna Martin on adolescence:
“I remember being this age and kind of simultaneously thinking I was the shit and thinking I was shit.” [08:16]
-
On sexual agency & power imbalance:
“No matter what this girl does...he’s still 40 and he’s still her teacher.”
—McCurdy [12:58] -
On anger as a source of strength:
“Anger is what got me to get over an eating disorder. Anger is what got me to get into the right relationship, which is the one that I’m in now that I’ve been in for 9 years. Anger is what got me to quit acting and say no more. Anger is what’s gotten me anything good in my life.”
—McCurdy [44:17] -
If she could advise her past self:
“Run, run, baby, run fast, run far.”
—McCurdy [45:39]
Important Timestamps
- 02:40 – 03:58: McCurdy introduces Half His Age, Waldo’s character, and her motivations.
- 04:06 – 07:09: The writing of Mr. Corgi and the challenge of balancing empathy and judgment.
- 08:03 – 09:24: The experience and psychology of being 17—bravado and insecurity.
- 11:41 – 14:49: How anger, desire, and agency interplay in Waldo’s pursuit of Mr. Corgi; sex as a locus of needs.
- 15:20 – 23:02: McCurdy’s own age-gap relationship: background, dynamics, and initial feelings.
- 26:58 – 33:14: Sexual inexperience, first sexual encounter, confusion, shame, and later humor.
- 37:32 – 39:31: Ending the real-life relationship and moving forward.
- 39:42 – 44:17: Anger’s role in healing, closure, and self-acceptance in adulthood.
- 45:29 – 46:05: Advice to her younger self (“Run!”).
Tone & Language
- Confessional, unflinchingly honest, raw, and often darkly funny.
- Anna Martin is empathetic and gently probing; Jennette McCurdy is introspective and open, not shying away from uncomfortable details, lacing seriousness with deadpan humor.
Final Note
This episode is a nuanced, gripping look at the blurry space between consent, agency, and victimization in coming-of-age and age-disparate relationships, both in fiction and in life. McCurdy’s candor offers rare insight into the long-term emotional aftermath of these experiences—and the cathartic, fertilizing potential of anger.
Episode summary by an expert podcast summarizer. For more Modern Love, go to nytimes.com/podcasts.