Modern Love: Why I Always Dreamed of Being a Sister Wife
Podcast: Modern Love (The New York Times)
Host: Anna Martin
Guest: Christine Woolley (née Brown, of TLC’s “Sister Wives”)
Date: September 10, 2025
Overview
In this episode, host Anna Martin sits down with Christine Woolley, known from the TLC reality series "Sister Wives," to discuss Christine’s new memoir and her journey through plural marriage. The conversation explores Christine’s upbringing in a fundamentalist Mormon community, her aspirations to be a “sister wife,” her relationships within the plural family, and ultimately, her decision to leave her ex-husband Kody Brown, the church, and the life she was raised in. The discussion is honest and reflective, moving through Christine’s formative years, ruptures within her family, relationship dynamics, the impact of reality TV, and her path to self-love and monogamy.
Key Discussion Points & Insights
1. Identity and the Meaning of "Sister Wife"
[02:06]
- Christine no longer identifies as a sister wife but says the title describes an important part of who she was.
- “It is a story of me when I was a sister wife. And honestly, one, that was my favorite title. It’s who I was.” — Christine
- She feels the term now honors her past self and personal growth, rather than just her relationship to Kody or other wives.
- “It gives honor to a past relationship with myself.” — Christine [03:27]
2. Childhood in a Plural Family
[04:20 – 06:44]
- Christine grew up idolizing the strong women around her—her mothers and grandmothers, all sister wives.
- The plural family structure, with its “chaos” and abundance of relationships, was the only kind of family she knew:
- “I loved the big, huge family thing. I loved all the chaos that went with it. I loved that there was always someone to hang out with, always a party.” — Christine [06:21]
3. Maternal Rupture & Soul-Searching
[08:24 – 10:46]
- At 19, Christine’s biological mother left the family and the church, shocking Christine and causing deep anger and confusion.
- “She raised me to love…plural marriage. You know, what do you mean, you’re leaving it?” — Christine [08:58]
- Despite this upheaval, Christine felt her own “testimony” and commitment to plural marriage strengthen in reaction.
- “I swung even harder towards plural marriage.” — Anna
- “I still loved so many of the examples that I saw of plural marriage. And I loved the community that I was in.” — Christine [11:23]
- Christine’s view of her mother softened over time, realizing her departure wasn’t selfish but necessary self-care.
- “What I understood was…it wasn’t selfish. You have to be in charge of your own life.” — Christine [41:56]
4. Wanting to be a Third Wife
[15:28 – 16:50]
- Christine describes her dream of being a third wife, rationalizing that the first wife had the most difficult time and the second wife was often in a position to disrupt a marriage, while the third wife could “sail right on through.”
- “I was the voice of polygamy reason. First wife has to deal with the man all the time. … Second wife, you’re going to break up a marriage… I want to be a third wife.” — Christine
5. Entering Plural Marriage with Kody
[21:02 – 28:46]
- Christine met Kody Brown through his first wife, Mary, and felt a deep connection.
- “Right away we became like instant friends. … I just felt like I belonged.” — Christine [22:34]
- Her wedding, however, was disappointing and painful.
- “He did not look happy to be there…he was going to do it come hell or high water, but he really wasn’t happy.” — Christine [25:12]
- The dynamic required Christine to assume the role of mediator among the wives, and she immediately put others’ feelings above her own.
6. Life as a Sister Wife: Reality and Challenges
[29:12 – 37:14]
- Christine organized family life and strove to create harmony, even as favoritism and competition arose (e.g., over meals and household norms).
- There were good years and strong bonds, especially with other wives and children—but also pervasive loneliness.
- Moments when Christine wanted to leave began after significant family stress and feeling unsupported (e.g., when her daughter Truly was critically ill and Kody prioritized Robyn).
- “It was like, at that point, I was like—How old was Truly at the time? —Three. …I felt like I was alone.” — Christine [36:35]
7. Impact of TV and Robyn’s Arrival
[31:41 – 35:37]
- The reality show increased the pressure and drew attention to cracks in the family.
- Robyn’s introduction intensified existing strains:
- “I am completely on the outside here. … I can’t do this. … I don’t fit.” — Christine [34:27]
- Christine realized the family unity she craved was slipping away.
8. The Breaking Point
[38:09 – 40:03]
- The pivotal moment was Kody’s refusal to attend daughter Isabel’s crucial back surgery, saying he “couldn’t leave his family for that long.”
- “That’s insulting. You cannot be a dad and say that to your daughter. … There is no hope left.” — Christine [39:31]
- The experience empowered Christine to seek independence and redefine her family, realizing she and her children would be better off without Kody.
9. Healing, Monogamy, and New Love
[44:44 – 48:22]
- Christine is now remarried to David in her first monogamous relationship. Their wedding—a fairytale contrast to her first—was a joyful, mutual experience.
- “It was a perfect fairy tale where all of my dreams came true. … David was there for every single detail.” — Christine [45:09]
- Her children witnessed her transformation and now see what a loving, egalitarian marriage can look like.
- “They always thought I was a good mom, but they got to see me as a good person … and as a good wife and in a romantic role and in love.” — Christine [47:18]
10. Reflections on Plural Marriage
[48:32 – 50:07]
- Christine acknowledges that plural marriage can only work with exceptional communication, true equality, and absence of hierarchy or favoritism—qualities she rarely saw.
- “I haven’t seen a lot of plural families that are happy, that is for sure.” — Christine [49:18]
- Her children are determined not to repeat the plural marriage experience:
- “They love themselves way too much to put themselves through that.” — Christine [49:40]
11. Advice to Her Younger Self
[50:43]
- Christine would tell young Christine:
- “Make up your mind and be firm on your decisions and know who you are at the very beginning … put both feet on the ground and take a deep breath and move forward with who you are.” — Christine
Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments
- “It gives honor to a past relationship with myself.” — Christine, on the meaning of ‘sister wife’ now ([03:27])
- “I loved the big, huge family thing. I loved all the chaos that went with it.” — Christine ([06:21])
- “I swung even harder towards plural marriage.” — Christine, after her mother left ([11:23])
- “I was the voice of polygamy reason… I want to be a third wife.” — Christine ([16:13])
- “He did not look happy to be there…he really wasn’t happy.” — Christine, describing her wedding day ([25:12])
- “I want a family that was all together and did things together, and it was a real community.” — Christine ([35:55])
- “I will not be married to a man who treats my daughter and his children like they don’t matter.” — Christine, regarding leaving Kody ([39:31])
- “It was a perfect fairy tale where all of my dreams came true.” — Christine, on her wedding to David ([45:09])
- “Make up your mind and be firm on your decisions and know who you are.” — Christine, advice to her younger self ([50:43])
Timestamps for Key Segments
- 02:06 — Does she still identify as a sister wife?
- 04:20 — Childhood and family culture
- 08:24 — Mother’s departure and aftermath
- 11:23 — Doubling down on polygamy after the family split
- 15:28 — Why she wanted to be a third wife
- 21:02 — Meeting Kody; courtship dynamics
- 25:00 — Disappointing wedding day
- 29:12 — Role as mediator among the wives
- 34:27 — Feeling like an outsider as Robyn joins the family
- 36:34 — Daughter Truly's illness and growing marital doubts
- 38:09 — Breaking point: Isabel’s surgery and Kody’s absence
- 44:44 — New monogamous marriage & healing
- 48:32 — Perspective on plural marriage’s challenges
- 50:43 — Advice to her younger self
Tone and Takeaways
Christine’s tone is candid, often humorous despite her vulnerability, and ultimately empowering. The episode reveals the emotional complexity of plural marriage, the burden of community traditions, and the power of self-advocacy. By the end, Christine’s story shifts from one of striving to fit into a mold, to one of self-realization and radical self-love, offering new models of love and family for herself and her children.