Modern Wisdom Podcast Episode #862: Visakan Veerasamy - An Ode To People Who Take Things Seriously
Host: Chris Williamson
Guest: Visakan Veerasamy
Title: An Ode To People Who Take Things Seriously
Introduction
In episode #862 of the Modern Wisdom podcast, host Chris Williamson engages in a profound conversation with Visakan Veerasamy, a writer and entrepreneur. The discussion delves into the often-overlooked yet crucial trait of taking things seriously. They explore the nuances of seriousness, its impact on personal and professional life, and strategies to maintain it without succumbing to burnout or social friction.
The Importance of Being Serious
Visakan emphasizes the fundamental significance of taking life seriously, not in a rigid or solemn manner, but as a form of love and curiosity expressed earnestly over time.
Visakan (03:58): "Seriousness is love and curiosity expressed earnestly over a long period of time."
He argues that seriousness drives individuals to make the most of their limited lives and resources, fostering excellence and deep fulfillment. Visakan contrasts this with his experiences surrounded by unserious environments, highlighting how genuine seriousness leads to more meaningful and enjoyable moments.
Navigating Social Dynamics: Finding Your Tribe
Chris shares an anecdote from a bachelor party where the group naturally split into serious and playful factions. This observation underscores how people gravitate towards those with similar levels of seriousness.
Chris (06:25): "We had separated ourselves out. We had literally triaged the group by seriousness."
Visakan reflects on this, noting that such natural triaging happens seamlessly, bringing together individuals who resonate on the same wavelength. He likens it to a "tuning fork" searching for harmonious connections.
Visakan (08:46): "You can make friends. So you need to make at least one friend, right? And ideally, every... thing."
Balancing Seriousness with Earnestness and Flexibility
The conversation delves into maintaining seriousness without becoming rigid. Visakan introduces the concept of "friendly ambitious nerds," advocating for a balance between high ambition and interpersonal kindness.
Visakan (26:08): "Successful people tend to be ambitious nerds. And if they're not friendly, it's very difficult."
He stresses the importance of psychological flexibility to manage one's motivation and prevent burnout. Drawing parallels with athletic training, Visakan discusses the necessity of "deloading" to sustain long-term efforts.
Visakan (20:50): "If you're serious about doing anything for a long period of time, you should consider how that break from the main thing keeps you."
Overcoming Cynicism: Curating Your Information Diet
Visakan addresses the rise of cynicism as a defense mechanism against frequent encounters with inauthenticity and failures. He suggests conducting an audit of one's information consumption to mitigate feelings of helplessness and anger.
Visakan (15:38): "You have to really curate your information environment... If it doesn't inspire you towards action, then, like, what's the point?"
This approach helps individuals focus on constructive and inspiring content, fostering a more optimistic and motivated mindset.
Dealing with Procrastination: Focusing on Desired Outcomes
Procrastination is reframed not as mere laziness but as a protective mechanism against tasks that may not align with one's true desires. Visakan advises shifting focus from eliminating procrastination to clarifying and pursuing desired outcomes.
Visakan (71:29): "Focus on the outcomes that you want and not the outcomes that you don't want... What you care about, what you're afraid of."
He encourages setting clear, manageable goals and finding intrinsic motivation to sustain long-term projects, similar to how video games provide clear objectives and rewards.
The Relationship Between Seriousness and Earnestness
Visakan explores the interplay between seriousness and earnestness, highlighting that earnestness is integral to genuine seriousness. He differentiates between contrarianism for the sake of edginess and true earnestness based on personal values and passions.
Visakan (43:28): "Earnestness is at the heart of, like, you can't really be serious and not be earnest."
He introduces the concept of "inverse charisma," where being genuinely interested in others makes one more likable, contrary to the traditional notion of charismatic individuals seeking attention.
Visakan (42:15): "You want to be trying to cultivate is not necessarily a sense of everybody going, 'God, I'm so glad Visakan's coming.'"
Building Resilience and Avoiding Burnout
Addressing the challenge of sustaining seriousness without burning out, Visakan shares personal strategies such as balancing intense work periods with periods of rest and playfulness. He emphasizes the importance of self-compassion and redefining success to include self-validation and small, personal victories.
Visakan (60:04): "Define for yourself small victories that are victories to you, even if it's not victories to other people."
Cultivating Self-Support and Overcoming People-Pleasing Tendencies
The discussion touches on the struggle of balancing self-care with the desire to be liked. Visakan suggests fostering a supportive inner dialogue and building authentic relationships where mutual respect and understanding prevail over superficial likability.
Visakan (56:43): "The more you don't care about what other people think about you, the more they seem to like you."
Final Insights and Takeaways
Visakan concludes with actionable advice for maintaining seriousness in a balanced and sustainable manner:
- Focus on Desired Outcomes: Concentrate on what you want to achieve rather than what you want to avoid.
- Set Clear, Manageable Goals: Break down large projects into smaller, achievable tasks.
- Curate Your Information Diet: Limit exposure to negative or uninspiring content.
- Balance Work and Rest: Incorporate regular breaks and periods of play to sustain long-term effort.
- Cultivate Authentic Relationships: Surround yourself with like-minded individuals who support your serious endeavors.
Visakan (85:38): "The most interesting stuff that's happening for me right now is on my substack."
Notable Quotes
- Visakan (03:58): "Seriousness is love and curiosity expressed earnestly over a long period of time."
- Chris (06:25): "We had separated ourselves out. We had literally triaged the group by seriousness."
- Visakan (15:38): "You have to really curate your information environment... If it doesn't inspire you towards action, then, like, what's the point?"
- Visakan (43:28): "Earnestness is at the heart of, like, you can't really be serious and not be earnest."
- Visakan (56:43): "The more you don't care about what other people think about you, the more they seem to like you."
Conclusion
The episode offers a deep exploration of what it means to take things seriously in a world that often undervalues this trait. Visakan Veerasamy provides valuable insights and practical strategies for cultivating seriousness without sacrificing flexibility, joy, or personal well-being. Listeners are encouraged to embrace their serious side as a pathway to excellence and fulfillment, while also navigating the social challenges that come with it.
For more of Visakan Veerasamy’s thoughts and writings, visit his Substack or search for him online.