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Monday Morning Podcast
A.I. CEOs, Owned Politicians, Car Surveillance | Monday Morning Podcast 4-27-26
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This episode is brought to you by Progressive Insurance. Do you ever think about switching insurance companies to see if you could save some cash? Progressive makes it easy to see if you could save when you bundle your home and auto policies. Try it@progressive.com Progressive Casualty Insurance Company and affiliates. Potential savings will vary. Not available in all states. Hey, what's going on? It's Bill Burr and it's time for the Monday morning podcast for Monday, April 27, 2020. Six. Six. Six. Six. I almost said five. What's going on? How are you? How's it going? Jesus. I'm still saying 2025, the end of April. I usually make fun of how, when people talk about how fast years are going, going by, like, Jesus Christ, it's going by so fast. It's my example of me making fun of people talking about how fast? Did you missed it? Did you miss to. Did it? Jesus Christ, it's going by so fast. I will say this year is flying by. My 50s are flying by. Everybody talks about the older you get, the faster life goes by. That didn't happen till my 50s. You know, 20s, 30s, 40s. That all kind of seemed like, you know, like the roller coaster, you're going up the thing there, you know, and then 50s was. It's just going downhill, which is cool. It's not. I don't mind that this, this part of your life goes by really fast, considering the direction the world in general seems to be heading. But I am seeing some positive shit. I was at a restaurant last night. I saw a guy reading a book. Oh, that's right. And I remember I was doing some stupid rap to Nia about the guy at the bar. What was it? He's the guy at the bar. He reads a book. He's the guy at the bar. Just have a look. I can't remember when it was. It somehow ended with he's better than you. Um, I don't know. I don't remember. But yeah, I saw a guy reading a book and wasn't doing it in an obnoxious way. He actually seemed engaged. And then I was somewhere else and people were growing their own food and they were hanging out and it didn't seem hipstery. It just seemed like they didn't want to eat poison. So I am seeing some of that. Yeah. And I'm. I'm beginning to. Just for my own sanity, I think that this AI shit is grossly exaggerated and I think it's going to be like pets.com where all of these people are way overpaying Way overpaying for all of this technology. And they're exposing themselves. They really are exposing all of this fucking shit about Republicans, Democrats, liberals, conservatives, yada, yada, yada. Now at the end of the day, it's these concert top at the top. They don't want to. They don't want to pay anybody. They never have. They never have. That's why they're not coming out with any AI CEOs. Why don't they do that? Why waste your time coming up spending all that time with some AI technology that replaces 4,000 fucking people's jobs? Why not just one job? That one guy makes more than those 4,000 people and he's going to fire all those fucks and keep that money. Fuck that guy. That guy. All right, if you're a fucking virgin nerd scientist, never got any pussy in your life. Stop working for the wrong side. Don't do what they do, where they just get a whole bunch of money and then they get a girlfriend. Why don't you save a whole bunch of people and you'll get hero pussy. How about that? Like the pussy the Americans got when they went into Paris when they kicked the fucking Nazis out. You want that? That's what you want. You don't want yacht pussy. Yacht pussy, Sad. Yard pussy? Is there because they have to be, because they don't have any fucking options. Don't you want it to be real as much as you make an AI? You fucking nerds making AI for these fucking sociopaths. How do you look at yourself in the mirror, the end of the day? Is a goddamn scientist knowing what you're doing? Have you seen all these scientists got whacked? People are sending me this shit, 11 of them. And everybody, of course now is going, like, what? What are the odds, you know? Scientists don't have beef, do they? Not to that level. And all of a sudden, a bunch of them are getting whacked. So everybody's immediately making the assumptions, like, oh, they must be whistleblowers. They must know something that the reptile people don't want them to tell to us, which I don't understand. I mean, you could do that in a tweet before they kill you, couldn't you? I don't know. There's a lot of weird going on, like with my Boston Red Sox. They just fired the entire coaching staff. I think that's a misdirection. I think management is trying, the ownership is trying to cover for the moves they haven't made since, you know, they've been Cheating on the Red Sox with Liverpool. They got a mistress. You know, it's. You know, you can't. You can't do that. So both. Both are going to suffer. I don't know what's going on. You're going two fish and chips and not enough hot dogs and Cracker Jacks. I don't get it. Firing Alex Cora when there's. Is there anybody of his caliber that doesn't have a job? You would think at this point in the year that that guy would be hired. So we brought the dude up from the Woo. Socks. The Worcester Red Sox used to be the Paw Sox. Pawtucket. Now it's Worcester, you know, and if I live long enough, it might be Bangor. The bang sucks. Very strange. I think the Celtics are winning and I was traveling, so I missed. Mercifully, I missed Game 4 of the Bruins Sabers. And all my buddies said that we didn't even show up. But what I think really happened was in Games 1 and 2, Buffalo look like a little deer in the headlights. And I was like, these guys are not ready for prime time. They're making mistakes. You know, lucky for them, we're a young team and don't know how to hold the lead. So we blew game one, but it should. We should have won both games in Buffalo. But I don't know. Lindy Ruff, man, I think he figured this out after two games and. Or he came up with some sort of new. You know, I don't know if he switched his lines around or whatever. Whatever he did in game two, we didn't have an answer for it. And looks like they went more in that direction, so. But, you know, it is 3:1. That is. That is tough. That's a tough hill to climb. But all you do, you know, you just win the next game, you win the next game, and then the pressure's on them the rest of the way out, so. So we shall see. Tampa Bay Lightning. They beat the Habs. I don't know. That's like the best series. Every game's been overtime. I don't know about game four. So now it's two two. I believe the Penguins stop themselves from being swept. That's the hardest series for me to watch because I like the Flyers. I just, like. I don't know. The way that they talk about Philly fans, it just. You just get sick of it after a while, you know what I mean? Like the same way I don't need to watch another stupid thing about those nerds at Yankee Stadium that come up with the songs for all the, all the players or whatever. It's really stupid. I don't need to see anything more about Boston. And what are they always, they always show like, Paul Revere, the Lighthouse, and somebody eating clam chowder. I don't need to see that. And I don't need to see, Boy, oh boy, those Philly fans are there. They're like the rudest people in the fucking dude it. And then meanwhile, people are getting killed out on the West Coast. They, they suppress that story by gassing up Philly fans. And because they've done that, I now feel like they all have to top each other. Like, I think the next thing you know, now that that kid puked on the other guy. What do you do now? Just shit in a bag and throw it on the, on the field. And then espn. Philly fans are fucked up crazy. What are they gonna do next? They like a parody themselves? They never did shit like that when I was growing up. They didn't. They booed and they were assholes and stuff, but it wasn't like, you know, they're like sort of the Instagram version of like Philly fans. And then I don't like the Penguins either because all they did was bitch, moan and complain about the, you know, they're pushing Sidney Crosby too hard. And then, you know, they got Ulf Samuelson in their ring of hon honor. So I, I always, I always felt like they were like a franchise franchise. Like they're out there trying to blow out your knee, but you can't do it to somebody on their team. All of a sudden you're the, it's, that's like a very, like, you know, I think we've all dated that woman in our 20s. You know, she could do whatever the she wants. And you know, if you put your shoes in the wrong place, you're the worst person ever. I feel like if a psycho ex girlfriend was a hockey franchise, it would be the Penguins. So at the end of it, I always, I, I, I think I'm rooting for Philly in this one. And then what the Hurricanes do, they swept Ottawa. Dude, that was a dirty ass game. Do you see that guy throw that uppercut? My two guys had paired off. They're gonna like fight. And one of them had the other guy and the Ottawa guy had the fucking Hurricane dude in a, in a headlock. And another one of the Senators came over. Nobody's even touching him. He came over and like just full on, glove on, uppercutted this guy to the face that was funny. The guy who skated over to pair off with the dude who just did the cheap shot. You know, you can always tell, like, a forward who doesn't fight because he has to come over, like, confused, like, what just happened there? Huh? What's going on? That's what I would be on a hockey team. Like, what. What. What do you do? What's. What happened? Who did that? I'm not gonna say who. I remember that on the Yankees when Pedro threw Don Zimmer down. And then, like, the Yankees who fought wanted to rip Pedro's head off. And then there was another guy who doesn't fight, and he was just saying to Don, what happened? What do you mean, what happened? You just saw an old guy get thrown on the ground like a lawn dart. You know what happened? I still think that's one of the funniest things I ever saw, because Don Zimmer came at him. I mean, what was he supposed to do, stand there and let this guy beat him up? He didn't want to run away. He just grabbed that big medicine ball head and he sort of guided him down. Then it was bad. Then Don Zimmer, like, cried afterwards that that whole thing was just like. It just. It had just gotten out of control. And ESPN took no responsibility, you know, as they gassed that whole fucking thing up. And then MLB started having us play each other like 40 times a fucking year. I don't know. I, of course, got a text message from a Yankee fan yesterday. New York Boston teams fucking live in New York fans heads. I swear to God, it's like the only real rivalry we have is with the Yankees. And that doesn't even get going anymore since 2004. It doesn't get. It's. It's over. It's over. We want it. You can't chant 1918 and you got, like, 30 champion. We're never going to catch you. There's nothing going on there. And they keep acting like there's something going on, but. All right, I guess if we met each other in the playoffs, it would. Right. But, like, as far as, you know, there's nothing going on. There's nothing going on. There's no. There's no rivalry. You know, Giant fans try to act like there's something between us and the Patriots. It's like, yeah, I mean, we lost to the Eagles in there, too, but, you know, in the meantime, we won six, so that's what we focused on. We. We went to nine and we won six. I mean, it was fucking awesome. The Knicks Suck. Oh, they never win anything. I just remember they beat us last year. I barely remember that. Doesn't matter. We're back again this year. It's fine. Everything is fine. Um, who else they got. They got the Jets. They haven't won since 69. They got the Mets 40 years ago. They beat us. Islanders. There was never anything there. Rangers. That hasn't been a rivalry since Brad park and Bobby or. Yeah, there's nothing. I know I forgot somebody. I think that's it. Brooklyn Nets. Yeah. So we don't really. I don't know, I'm just speaking for myself. I don't think about New York sports teams, not in a bad way. And I actually like the Rangers and I like the Knicks. I root for them. The Brooklyn Nets, to me is just. It's gluttonous. They should have stayed in New Jersey, even though they were the New York Nets, but they were in a different basketball league. But that just seems gluttonous. It's like, you didn't need that. And the Mets. I actually root for the Mets. I became a Mets fan when I was doing efforts for Family with the great Mike Price from the Simpsons. And he was a Mets fan. And I. I told you guys this story. He would come in every year, we'd be writing the show, and he would come in with a brand new Nets hat, all excited to go, you know, and they would be doing great. And then by like June, he would come in. You know, he was always in a good mood. Hey, everybody. You know, always a great thing. And then he would walk into his office, he had like a glass office, these places we rented. And he would walk in and he would take his hat off and he would just throw it across the room on the couch. You didn't have to check the standings. You just knew that they were starting to lose. I was like, what happened, Mike? He's, ah, you know, they blew it again. So. And then Verse, he's one of my best friends in the world, inside or out of the business, right? And he's a Knicks fan. And I was texting with him yesterday going, knicks are going to win today. Knicks are going to win today. They're playing an Atlanta sports team. Atlanta sports teams always figure out how to blow it. There's no way Atlanta goes up three games to one. And he writes back, he goes, I hope so. He goes, I'm a wreck. And I was like, dude, I gotta hand it to you, like, how you show up every year for the Knicks. Because I remember that growing up other Than the Celtics, the Patriots, the Bruins, and certainly the Red Sox was just brutal. And after a while, you learned how to protect yourself. You know, you, you'd be a sports fan, but you was, you were covering up like you were on the ropes. Philly shelf. But Versi comes in just wide open every year. Super positive, we're going to do it this year. And I was joking with them yesterday. I said, paul, if you were dating a woman like the New York Knicks, I would, I would have to say something. I would have to have an intervention going like, dude, you got to break up with this chick. You can do better. So anyway, yeah, anytime anything bad happens to a Boston team, it's hilarious. Like, I guess it really bothered New York that we were winning all of those championships. I don't know why. I honestly, honestly don't know why. But it did, for whatever reason. So, like, anytime anything bad happens to a Boston team, I hear from New York friends that I haven't heard from in years. So yesterday I heard from a couple of them, hey, what's going on? What's going on up there? It's like, dude, look, you're not beating the Dodgers either, all right? They're owned by a hedge fund. They got false flag war profit buying, you know, probably, you know, in a way a more legit Babe Ruth than Babe Ruth. It's not Babe Ruth's fault that he played in an all white league, but this fucking guy is like, it's unbelievable what he's doing. Yeah, their whole fucking team is just everybody else's stars and they spent like three quarters of a billion dollars on one fucking guy. Nobody's beaten that team. It is funny to me as a Red Sox fan to see somebody outspend the Yankees. But having said that, if the Yankees make it to the World Series and they play the Dodgers, that used to be an automatic to me where I would be rooting for the Dodgers. So now because of the money the Dodgers have spent, like, I just wouldn't root for anybody. I think I just wouldn't watch it. I know what Dodger fans go, what? You know, it's legal. You know, change the rule. And I said to him, oh, yeah, I go, don't you watch sports for competition? I don't want to see all the best guys on the same fucking team beating up the whole league. And. And the person just kept going, what? It's legal. And then my argument to that is, you know what you sound like? You sound like a 50 year old who's trying to bang an 18 year old, you know, yeah, it's legal, but should you do it? All right, maybe I didn't have to go that extreme on the. On the example there. I want to thank everybody who came out to Atlantic City. I just knew that was going to be a fun show. I had such a good time. Even though I up literally my last joke, because I said something about Charlie Kirk and there was this guy, like, staring at me, you know. You know how racist white people are. They have, like, all kinds of empathy in the world for, like, animals and overtly racist white people. Whether the T was just speaking his mind, you know, it's like, why don't you ask somebody who isn't white what they felt about what that guy was saying and how they heard it? You know, just, you know, I'm not saying you have to change your mind, but just rather than just staying on the 180, why don't you go 360 with it? Go South Park. Let's look at it from all different perspectives. I don't know much about it, but I would say that dude's wife is shady. I don't know about that. I don't know about that. I'm getting, like, P. Diddy vibes. Do you watch that P. Diddy documentary where, you know, they suggested a certain something and then I'm going to talk around this because these are, like, psychotic people. Uh, yeah. And all of a sudden, the. This person dies and then the other person's rapping. Now, now. Now they're the superstar rapper. Yeah. Just seems like I'm like, where have I seen this storyline before? Anyway, so I get to Atlantic City and I landed. I landed in Philly. So I'm like, oh, I got to get a fucking cheesesteak. So I texted Annie Letterman. I'm like, I'm in your town. Where am I going? And she suggested this place. I'm almost afraid to say the place, because you can't tell anybody from Philly where you got a cheesesteak unless you go where they go, or else they're going to fucking yell at you. They get all upset. They like French people. When you try to speak their language, they act like, oh, my God, you know, and then they butcher your language. Like what they're doing isn't equally. Isn't on the same level. Yeah. Why did you go? You don't go there. No matter where you go. You went to the wrong fucking place. You know what it reminded me of is when I was at Emerson College and I used to. I used to host a jazz oasis. And I had no idea what the I was doing. And I would ask these if we have any requests, call me up. And they would never call me up. And then they would wait for me to play something. So then they could call me up and be like, man, that isn't jazz. And I go, well, what? Well, tell me what to play. They'd be like, I shouldn't have to. And then they would hang up on me. All these old jazz heads. I swear to God, if I had more confidence, I would have played the Bangles after that. Anyway, I'll say where I went. I went to Dallas Sandros and it was outstanding. And I don't go with the whiz. I can't deal with. Whiz is a child from the 70s. To me, that's the cheese version of fluff. Another nutter, which was just wrong, you know? And I don't think my brain ever recovered from eating that. I don't think I've ever even liked it. Peanut butter and fluff was disgusting to this day. That fake marshmallow, I don't even like real marshmallows. I. It like s' mores of a gross toasted marshmallow. Gross marshmallows. Gross. All of it. I can't eat those colorful cereals. This. Somewhere along the line, I just like. It's like when you bought them out as an addict or like smoking, like, I just can't do this anymore. It's the same thing. I just can't do that. So anyways, I went with the provolone and the woman there was like, do you, do you mind sharp provolone? Because if you don't like sharp provolone, you're not going to like this sandwich. I said, no, it's fine, it's fine. A little peppers and onions. That was it. I didn't put anything else on it. And what I loved about it was, it was the bread was really light because that's a heavy sandwich, especially at my age. It was absolutely delicious. It was funny. We were driving over there and I was like, kenny, this is really heavy, let's split one. And he's like, okay. And then we both got our own and ate it in about two seconds. And I just want to give a shout out to everybody who. Come on, Bill, you're a 57 year old white guy. You don't give shout outs. I want to say thank you to everybody at Dales Sandros. They were so cool to us and they let us go inside there and you know, they wanted to get some pictures and stuff, and it was funny. They knew Kenny more than they knew me, going, I know you. I know you. But we had a great time there. And then I went and I did my show at Atlantic City and had a great time. Florentine came out. He went up and then brought up Keith Robinson. So I was working with some old friends. It was the perfect gig. So now. Now I am in New York City. I am doing. I'm not gonna say the podcast. You guys will see it. Ah, it. I'll say it. I'm doing the Fat Joe and Jadakiss podcast today. I just. I think those two guys are hilarious together. So I'm excited about that. And then I got this other thing. I. I have a meeting, and this guy is just. I'm trying to get some financing for some. That I'm trying to write here. So this guy's a cigar guy. So we're meeting in a cigar bar. So it's just a ma now. You know, there's no stress on the meeting. You know, whether this guy wants to buy in or not. I still get to smoke a cigar. So what the do I care, right? It's gonna be fun. And then tomorrow, I have the Patrice O' Neill, the 13th annual Patrice O' Neil comedy benefit. And yeah, and then I'm gonna. I'm hanging out here with my lovely wife, gonna see a Broadway show. Oh, Billy. Broadway. I do that now. Every time I go to New York. I always make sure I go out and go see a show because I fucking love it now. I still. I can't like, you know, I've gone to a few of the musicals that. And I don't mind those either, but I definitely like seeing actors, like, live is. Is. Is kind of the. It's amazing. Oh, and one of my. I think Donald Weber Jr. Who I did Glengarry with, I heard he's doing Hamilton. I don't have time to go see that, but I would love to go see him do something different because he murdered his part in Glengarry. They all did. Everybody was great on that. Anyway, I got a question for you. I got a question. I need answers. Mushroom coffee. So somebody was saying, you know, it was an Instagram advertisement. So right there, I know those are corporate mushrooms, and they probably have all kinds of synthetics and microplastics, and they're claiming that what organic mushroom tea their does. So what is. Can somebody lead me to the most all natural mushroom coffee that doesn't have the plastic baggie that I stick in the coffee. So then it's like I have mushrooms with a bunch of fucking microplastics. Do you realize we all have microplastics in ourselves? That these corporations realized they were doing that to their own fucking countrymen? How can we sit here and say that we're fighting a war against terrorism and not hold these fucking people accountable? You know why? Because they own them all, baby. They own them all. They own them all. You keep watching that fantasy that is CNN and Fox News. Like. Like there's really a difference. Like it's really the other side's fault. It's none of our fault. We're all on the same team. That's the point of my tour. If I can end this tour and get Texas to like California and California to, like Florida, and we can be the United States again and stop having these fucking nerds on CNN and Fox News and probably the CIA drive us towards some sort of civil war because their yachts aren't big enough. They want more whores on them? Is that what is the fucking problem? How much more money can these cunts have? All right, I'm off. My. You know, I always say that I'm off, but I'm not. You know, I'm not off. All right, let's. Let's do some of the reads here for the week. What window would that be in? Oh, by the way, did I mention that I went over to Flappers on Thursday night and Jay Leno was headlining and he was nice enough to let me and Dean go up? So, first of all, Jay looked like a fucking million bucks. Guy looks like a movie star. You know, he. He. He rem. You know, he doesn't. You know, he's had the open collar with the sport coat. You know, he's all tanned up. He's got the George Clooney head of hair. He fight. I'm telling you. So I'm like, all right, I'm opening for this guy. I'm not going to go up here and curse my brains out. Not that he couldn't follow that, but I'm just saying, you know, so I went up there and I worked as clean as I could, which means I said twice and I said once, but that's amazing for me. And was kind of fun. I'm not gonna lie to you. It's kind of fun. I don't know. I go back and forth with that. It's like, yeah, you know, I can work clean and still be funny, but am I being authentic? I mean, I'm a fucking meathead. All right, Anyways, before I go into the advertising, it is the United States of America. If you hate another state, you are hating on your own country. You cannot be patriotic and hate another state. We're all on the same team. Don't let these fucking cunts divide this country. I saw this woman on Instagram showed that there was some guy in like the early 70s wrote an eight page document which basically set up what the fuck is going on now? And it was his overreaction that the baby boom generation had protested and stopped. Well, the college kids and the media, they lost public support for Vietnam and then they lost the war and they, you know, they couldn't make any more money and that pissed them off. They also didn't like all those leaders speaking for the people. What did they do? Black or white, if you spoke up for the people, you got conveniently a lone gunman took you out. And you know, then they just like they took over the fucking media. Because that is one thing. CNN and Fox News, neither one of them is against any wars. They are there. They are just selling these fucking things, selling them and selling them. Evidently Iran was a big fucking. We can blow up the whole fucking world. Nobody's a threat to us. What did you say? And you just kind of ding, ding, ding, ding, ding on that red button. I'll fucking kill us all, man. Yeah, like there's nothing you can do to us. If Russia didn't attack us, this is it. They're not going to come at us. How they're going to take out this country. They're not going to fire a shot. They're going to collapse the dollar. They're all going to gang up on us. And I don't understand this economically. They're just going to switch barrels of oil being valued by, you know, rather than dollars a barrel, Euros. That's what fucking Saddam was trying to do with that Hugo Chavez guy. And then, you know, all of a sudden they were threats. And then we just went in. You see what they're doing here? Whatever. 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I actually think the New Year's Eve one is better because you're kind of standing there partying, you know, and back in the day, it sucked because if you had to take a leak, you're stuck, there's too many people, you're going to lose your spot. That's what I don't like about that. But nowadays with all like the gummies and all of that stuff, you could be just be tripping to count down from 10. I've, yeah, I've never understood that New Year's Eve thing, like why you would want to start your year that way. I mean, maybe in a way it's smart. Like it's just like, well, there's no way anything that happens for the rest of this year is going to suck worse than this. So I kind of got everything out of the way. I was, you know, pickpockets, perverts, you know, I don't know. There's just. You don't want to be in a crowd that big. Yeah, I think I've spoken enough on the draft. I get it. Some people like, like it. I'm interested in the draft, but I know at the end of the day I can. What's gonna take you fucking all day to watch? I can just read the names and who gives a fuck? After the first, like 15 names, you don't know who any of these people are. You have no idea. And then you know. Well, it gets interesting because people get taken in the later rounds. Who actually sometimes. I mean, Tom Brady was a six round pick. Yeah, but that's not interesting. The year he got drafted, no one knows who the fuck he is. Unless you're a Michigan fan. It's when all of a sudden he wins the Super Bowl. Then you can go back going like, oh, my God, look at all these quarterbacks they took before. But you're not going to realize that in real time. Right. I don't understand it. I don't understand it. But whatever. People want to go. They want to go there with the seventh pick of the NFL draft, the New York jets pick, offensive tackle and everybody, oh, what the fuck are you doing? I did hear the jets had a good draft. I did hear that. All right, let's move on. Let's move on from, from the NFL draft. The NFL draft is, is a thing like that chain restaurant that isn't good, but people still go to. I don't, I don't get it. But I'm not going to tell people not to go anymore. All right? If that's what gets you going. Dude, there's people out there, kids out there that like their favorite TV show is watching somebody else play a video game. I mean, these adults can't go down and be like, pittsburgh Steelers are now on the clock. What do you think they need to do? All right. Total AI surveillance in vehicle bill. You've probably received several emails on this. By 2027, all cars will have AI surveillance with the ability to pull your car over if it's deemed you're not capable of driving. This driving tech is beyond dystopian. It'll be the photo. It will be photographing you and sending images to a database. Also, you always blame billionaire tech nerds, which is certainly called for, but it's Congress and politicians that pass laws allowing all of this. Yes, and they're bribed by billionaire tech nerds. They sell out. If you look at the yearly salary of all of these politicians and then you look at what their portfolio is worth, like that Nancy Pelosi somehow makes 200 grand a year, and she's worth $100 million. You can't do that. Honestly. That's all insider trading. That's all payoffs. It just is. Nobody is that lucky. Anyway, I live in a city, and it's infinitely harder to avoid feeding the tit of the evil than it was when I lived in the middle of nowhere. We can't afford to let up on the issue. Yeah, well, just go buy an old car. There you go. I drive old cars. That's what I do. I had a 2023 or 2024 F250, and I got rid of it because of the technology. It was interacting with my phone and getting information from my phone and sending it to Ford Motor Company that they were just sharing with whoever. It's fucking horrible. This whole thing is horrible. And this is what they're. They're doing this and all of this technology not to stop drunk drivers. What they're doing is they're. They're going. You're going to be under surveillance. They're going to phase out cash. They are. They are trying to set up a world where one person can actually run it. They've already seen people fighting wars on two fronts. They've seen the Romans spread their armies too thin. They've seen that. So what they need is access to everyone 247 to hear what you're saying, to see what you're doing, to shut off your car, to cut off your money, to pull you over. And, you know, all of you racist fucking idiots who don't mind that alligator Alcatraz, you know that you're going to end up in there in the future, you know, with your beautiful white skin, if you say Something wrong about the people in power later on. That's just what it is. They literally built their first RE education camp right in front of everybody. You just are so racist. You don't see yourself going into that van. I hate to say this, but that's how they do it. They divide and conquer. Divide and conquer. And then what happens is the water starts raising up and by the time you realize it, it's up over your nose and you're in the van. That's how it works. That's how it works. This is not. I'm not looking into a crystal ball. I'm looking at what has been done before. Yeah, it is. No, it's just beyond an invasion of privacy. And they're going to sell it with like, you know, what if somebody kidnaps somebody? What if somebody does this, what if somebody does that? And then, you know, once again, you know, like I said, like these people at the top are not good people. Like, you know, that whole like they're going to try to microchip your kid to save them from people like them, but they're gonna have the technology to turn the chip on and off. So like what the fuck are we doing here? They're not. They're just gonna monitor your kid to make sure your kid isn't gonna rebel you against them. But they're not gonna try to save the kid unless someone else tries to save the kid. But if one of those billionaires wants your kid, they're gonna know where your kid is and just come get him. That's what I think. Healthy paranoia. All right. Anti billionaire campaign. Hey, Bill. Hey, Billy Three shoes. I got a good one for you. My sister in law donates to a lot of charities, which is awesome, but also. But she also donates to initiatives which I tease her for because I'm skeptical and I think they do the opposite of what they say they are going to do. Like the homelessness programs that only enrich contractors who donate to politicians campaigns. Anyway, this week I was reading about the anti billionaire group that donated to the campaign of a billionaire who is running for governor. But I'm sure he's one of the good ones. Thanks for the laugh. I know. Do you know that they raised like $750 million for those people out in the Palisades? God damn it. You look cute, Nia. What is that all about? You're gonna kill him. Thank you. That is fucking adorable. Anyway, I'm sure you they raised over $750 million for those people out in the Palisades. That lost their houses, and they don't know where the money went. And there doesn't seem to be a lot of media coverage on it or any sort of authorities trying to track it down. That happened to me a long time ago. I was doing. What the fuck was the name of that charity? Was it the wounded warriors one? I used to give, like, a ridiculous percentage of my advertising money to that. And then I found out the family was corrupt. They were all going out buying pickup trucks and shit with the money. I. I just. I don't. I don't. This. There's no way, like, I would say, out of all the ten commandments, if you had to list in an order, like, rearrange the ten commandments, not as far as which ones you think are the most important, if you had to rearrange, and as far as, like, the ones that. The commandments that are broken the most during the day over the course of the year, and I would say tied for first, they share the title is lying and stealing. Now that I've. I've been in show business here for fucking 30 something years. The. The level of stealing, legalized stealing, too, where as far as, like, you're, you know, you have a legit business, but you're just stealing from people that you agreed to pay a certain percentage. Like the level that they steal from artists. The level that they steal from each other and lie is just. It's not even like. It's not a percentage. It's just they do it 100% of the time. You get in business with somebody, they are 100% going to fuck you out of money. And they. And what they say is, this is how business is done. That's how they justify what they do. I don't know. It's a. Once you go past a certain level, they're just. They're all the same. They're all the same animal. All right, a case for pigeons. Billy. Birdbrain, My family and I have been enjoying your recent discussion about birds. I wanted to make the case for pigeons and try to convince you that they are amazing birds. I like pigeons. I'm a city person, too. I like those. They know how to live, you know what I mean? They still get to fly around, and they can leave the city whenever they want to, but they also have all of this culture. They can go to whatever baseball game they want to go to. You know, I've seen them in the airports when they're tired of flying, they're trying to sneak onto a flight. First off, pigeons are Doves. Rock doves, to be more specific. Bigger than most doves. They're like, nest. Oh, my God. Is this more racism? But the white ones are considered peaceful. How funny is that? You can tell my people came up with that, that we have the nerve to say that the bird that's colored white is peaceful. There was a bit I was doing in my act was saying, if you want to understand people, people are just like bears. The black ones are the coolest. They'll leave you alone if you don't fuck with them. And then I work my way all the way up to polar bears, and they just. Without question, if they see you, they're running at you and they're gonna fuck you up. This is one of the two main things. You know, Your black wife made you say that. What do you mean? Oh, yeah, that's what they say. Oh, you're black. It wasn't even his dot. His black wife told him to say it. Those fucking idiots. She writes all his jokes. My favorite thing about all those racists who always come at us was them trying to pretend they cared about people in Saudi Arabia. That was my favorite one. Oh, my God, They hate me so much. They tried to pretend they were liberal. What is that? I don't know. That's some sort of alarm. All right, maybe there's some sort of AI in here and I said the wrong word. We're just going to talk over it, huh? Well, it was just fun to be in the middle of something like that, to actually have the facts and to see how much people twisted around. How could you go there and tell jokes? All right, next time, I'll sell them missiles and I'll accept the plane. Doves, to be more specific. Bigger than most doves, they like nesting in rocky cliffs. This one. What the. There's a phone knocked off the. The husa muatsa. Oh, there you go. I like your jean slacks. Nia Jean slacks. They're like hybrids. They're like jeans, but they're shiny like slacks. Coated, huh? Oh, gladly. Those aren't jeans. I approve. I. I'm Bill Burr, and I approve of that message. Okay. You look adorable. All right. Bigger than most doves. They like nesting in rocky cliffs. This is one of two main things that makes them prone to living around cities and amongst buildings. Rocky cliffs. What the fuck do rocky cliffs have to do? About what? Because they like to do what? The buildings are like. Rocky cliffs. All right, maybe they're going to explain it. The second thing is that similar to dogs, they have developed a Partnership with humans for at least 5,000 years. Their present is prominent in ancient texts from the Persians to the Torah Bible to Caesar's military campaign in Gaul for the Roman Empire. Carrier pigeons? Is that what you're saying? As a side note, I went to a 7:30am Mass at the Vatican last Monday. You fucking sellout. Having not been to Church for 15 years and was pleasantly surprised to see depictions of pigeons, AKA doves, all throughout the halls amongst the tombs of the popes from as far back as the four hundreds. Their affection makes them easy to domesticate and train. And the greatest use humans have what and the greatest use humans have put them to is long distance communications. How this works. After being brought to a different location from their home, that is where humans have been giving them food, shelter, protection, they are able to geo locate themselves and determine which direction is home. Humans attach tiny letters to their legs and then send them back home. I always wondered how they did that. They can fly several hundred miles in a day and travel distances more than 600 miles in total. In some recent examples, they have been utilized in both the first and second world wars. I don't know how recent that is. I guess when you go back to 400, that's pretty recent. I promise I have no connection here whatsoever. But a fun fact that I would recommend is Operation Columba by Gordon Carrera. It talks about this World War II operation where British planes dropped pigeons behind Nazi lines in France and asked the French locals to write any local intel on the papers and then send the pigeons back. Well, how the fuck do you drop them if they're just going to fly home? One second you drop them out of the plane, don't they start flying back to where you went. See, this is. This is why I'm a comedian. I'm too dumb to run a war. Some of the French ended up eating the pigeons due to extreme hunger, while others were able to write on the papers and send the pigeons back. Oh, is that where they came? Don't kill the messenger came from. I know. It's not that. It gave the British lots of intelligence on where radar stations were located, where officers were staying, and where armories were located. Oh, this was the first AI surveillance. Their efforts helped the Allied forces in innumerable invaluable ways. All right, that's great. Well, I've never had a problem with pigeons as much as everybody. They're dirty birds or whatever, and all of this shit. I never got into that. Anyways, that is the podcast every. Everybody go fuck yourselves and I will check in on you on Thursday. Go Bruins. Come on, man. Hang in there.