Birthday Billy, Current Events, Keeping Calm | Monday Morning Podcast 6-9-25

Summary

Monday Morning Podcast Summary
Episode: Birthday Billy, Current Events, Keeping Calm
Host: Bill Burr
Guests: Nia Renée Hill
Release Date: June 9, 2025

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1. Introduction: Bill's Pre-Birthday Struggles

Timestamp: 00:01 - 01:26

Bill Burr kicks off the episode by sharing his frustrations about being under the weather just a day before his 57th birthday. He humorously laments the inconveniences of aging, mocking common ailments associated with his age.

Bill Burr [00:01]: "Turning 57 years old tomorrow. The big five seven. Now this is a year that, you know, a lot of people don't realize how exciting it is to be 57."

2. Guest Appearance: Nia Renée Hill Joins In

Timestamp: 01:26 - 03:14

Nia Renée Hill makes a brief appearance, offering sympathy for Bill's predicament. Bill mentions that the podcast will be short due to Nia's visit, setting a light-hearted and intimate tone for the episode.

Nia Renée Hill [01:26]: "Poor baby."
Bill Burr [01:34]: "Now let's have a little seat here. Nia."

3. Comedy and Creative Process

Timestamp: 02:24 - 04:42

The conversation shifts to Bill's admiration for fellow comedians and creatives. He references "Glengarry Glen Ross," highlighting his favorite troll and the enduring legacy of certain comedic falls. Nia adds her perspective, pointing out the progression of Bill's comedic styles into 2024 and 2025.

Bill Burr [02:24]: "This podcast will be listened to for generations. Studied for generation. As to why that's favorite fucking."

4. Observations Outside the Coffee Shop

Timestamp: 04:42 - 06:36

Bill narrates an amusing encounter outside his favorite coffee shop. He describes interactions with various patrons, including a stylish older man and a loud Asian individual having a heated phone conversation. Bill humorously deciphers the situation using his observational skills.

Bill Burr [04:44]: "And this grizzly bear wants no part of it, right?"
Nia Renée Hill [06:36]: "You determined all that because you've been taking French on an app on your."

5. Current Events and Social Commentary

Timestamp: 06:36 - 10:13

Bill delves into a critique of societal issues, focusing on the influence of billionaires and systemic problems affecting marginalized communities. He passionately discusses topics like housing affordability, corporate greed, and the impact of unchecked power.

Bill Burr [09:08]: "They're taking the American dream for you, not me."

6. The Manosphere and Relationship Advice

Timestamp: 12:15 - 17:57

The dialogue shifts to discussing the manosphere and its detrimental effects on men's self-esteem and societal behavior. Nia provides constructive relationship advice, emphasizing simple gestures like saying hello and being attentive to body language.

Nia Renée Hill [14:04]: "Don't internalize it."
Bill Burr [15:35]: "It took me, I think, into my 50s."

7. Personal Anecdotes and Relationship Dynamics

Timestamp: 17:57 - 22:51

Bill and Nia share personal stories highlighting the dynamics of their relationship. They discuss how Nia manages Bill's emotions and supports his career, showcasing their deep bond and mutual understanding. Humorous exchanges about daily interactions add warmth to the conversation.

Nia Renée Hill [20:41]: "I have celebrated how many birthdays with you? 21. 22 birthdays with you."
Bill Burr [21:29]: "You have to."

8. Conclusion and Final Thoughts

Timestamp: 22:51 - End

As the episode wraps up, Bill touches on recent events and issues, including references to Jeffrey Epstein and corporate malfeasance. He interjects a brief advertisement segment before closing the podcast with a humorous sign-off.

Bill Burr [22:53]: "All right, that's the half A podcast."
Bill Burr [End]: "Go fuck yourselves. I will check in on you on Thursday."

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Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• Bill Burr [00:01]: "Turning 57 years old tomorrow. The big five seven."
• Nia Renée Hill [01:26]: "Poor baby."
• Bill Burr [06:36]: "They're taking the American dream for you, not me."
• Nia Renée Hill [14:04]: "Don't internalize it."
• Bill Burr [21:29]: "You have to."
• Bill Burr [22:53]: "All right, that's the half A podcast."

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Key Topics Discussed

1. Aging and Health: Bill's humorous take on the challenges of turning 57.
2. Creative Process in Comedy: Insights into Bill's admiration for other comedians and the longevity of comedic styles.
3. Everyday Observations: Funny anecdotes from Bill's daily life outside the coffee shop.
4. Social and Political Commentary: Critical views on wealth inequality, corporate practices, and societal issues.
5. Relationship Dynamics: Personal stories highlighting the support and understanding between Bill and Nia.
6. Manosphere Critique: Discussion on toxic masculinity and constructive relationship advice.

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Insights and Conclusions

This episode of the Monday Morning Podcast showcases Bill Burr's signature blend of humor, social commentary, and personal storytelling. The interplay between Bill and Nia Renée Hill offers listeners both laughs and thoughtful reflections on contemporary issues. Through candid conversations, they explore the complexities of aging, the entertainment industry, societal injustices, and the nuances of maintaining a healthy relationship. The episode balances comedic rants with meaningful dialogue, providing a comprehensive and engaging experience for both regular listeners and newcomers.

Transcript

[Bill Burr]

Hey, what's going on? It's Bill Burr and it's time for the Monday morning podcast for Monday, June 9, 2025. What's going on? How are ya? Oh, Jesus. Oh, Billy. Under the weather a day before my birthday. Can you believe it, guys? It's just like, why does this stuff always happen to me? Oh, my God. How am I going to blow out the fucking candles? Feeling all thick. I'll have to have someone come and blow them out for me. They'll be all dramatic. I would blow out the candles, but I don't want to get everyone sick. Oh, it's okay, Bill. No, it isn't. It isn't okay. Turning 57 years old tomorrow. The big five seven. Now this is a year that, you know, a lot of people don't realize how exciting it is to be 57. You know what I mean? Bum knee, swollen prostate, blurry vision. You know what I mean? All you fucking guys crossfitting. That is nothing compared to being 57 and opening up your eyes and, you know, not being able to see across the room. Ah, Jesus Christ. Sorry, I had to pause there. Just hacking it up. Oh, the lovely Nia, everybody.

[Nia Renée Hill]

Poor baby.

[Bill Burr]

Nia's in town. This podcast is gonna be short because my gorgeous wife is in town.

[Nia Renée Hill]

Hi, everybody.

[Bill Burr]

Now let's. Let's have a little seat here. Nia. Okay, let's sit down here. All right, Nia. Well, I would like to do a podcast with you, but I don't want to get you sick. Billy. Billy. Drama.

[Nia Renée Hill]

We're not doing a podcast today. We're not doing a full podcast.

[Bill Burr]

Yeah, I was the one who's supposed to say that. I was supposed to be the one that fucking said that. Because then all the racist people who don't like the fact that we're together be like, oh, I told you, she makes all the fucking decisions. You know, she's actually writes all his material. He has to run it by her to make sure everything's fine. This is so sad. My favorite thing is when I've been promoting Glengarry Glen Ross, my favorite troll. I love this guy. He keeps writing, this man's fall off will be studied for generations.

[Nia Renée Hill]

Oh, my God, they've written on my page too. What a fucking loser.

[Bill Burr]

No, but my favorite thing about that is generations from now, they're gonna be generations. No, they're gonna be graphing my shit jokes, like, what happened to this guy?

[Nia Renée Hill]

And approximately 20, 24 spilling into 25 is when the fall off really, really started to happen.

[Bill Burr]

I know. Come on you guys, it's just all those racist idiots.

[Nia Renée Hill]

Just be happy that Bill's happy. Is it that hard? Is it that hard?

[Bill Burr]

Don't speak on my happiness. I am happy. I am happy. I'm just. I wish. I don't know what happened. How I got. I just been. Ran myself a little ragged there.

[Nia Renée Hill]

My mom just texted me and said our daughter isn't feeling well. Oh, well, I'm surrounded.

[Bill Burr]

So you're surrounded. Well, no, no, no. I feel like all I need is a little ginger and lemon. I got a show tonight. Nia.

[Nia Renée Hill]

Yes.

[Bill Burr]

How can I sing One Flew over the fucking Cuckoo's Nest tonight?

[Nia Renée Hill]

No, the musical.

[Bill Burr]

No, how can I sing? Was it Somewhere over the Rainbow? Was what I was trying to say One Flew over the Cuckoo's Nest somewhere. No, I'm not there. Somewhere over the somewhere.

[Nia Renée Hill]

There you go.

[Bill Burr]

A very pensive Bill Burr took the stage. Just Glenn. Glengarry's Annie. They added. This is a mashup. That's how I got the gig. They combined Glengarry with Annie, right? That's what it was.

[Nia Renée Hill]

Second act. You become Daddy Warbucks.

[Bill Burr]

Hey, I gotta retell this story. Cause I told it to you. This was a classic New York moment. And why I'm enjoying being in this city. Aside from the fact that my lovely wife is here. And this is the greatest thing ever. I go to my favorite coffee shop. I'm like, hey ladies. They're like, hi, old guy. The usual. I'm like, you got it, toots. Right. I'm grandfathered in. I can still call young women toots. Hey, old guy. So everybody's inside, right? So I go outside. It's raining a little bit. That's probably how I cut this fucking cold. I don't like drinking coffee inside. I like being outside. Like I remember those old Grape Nuts commercials. There was always that good looking white guy in the impossibly white bathrobe out on the back his treehouse back porch looking at a bear. Bear looking at him. You know, bear's like, hey man, normally I would fuck with you, but you're eating Grape Nuts. So I'm just going to keep it moving, right?

[Nia Renée Hill]

Got that fiber running through you.

[Bill Burr]

Got that fiber running through you. And this grizzly bear wants no part of it, right? So I'm sitting outside and I'm drinking my coffee. Oh no, it wasn't raining out there. It was actually nice out. And I was just sitting and I was enjoying it, watching the people go by. There's this older black dude that comes by Every single day at the same time. Like driving dressed to the nines, like two tone shoes. The whole thing. The kind of old man you want to be where you still care about fashion, you know what I mean? Still looking cool. And anyway, I'm sitting there and this car pulls up. This Asian dude gets out with this other guy. And the fuck. The guy is like screaming into the phone, don't do it. Why?

[Nia Renée Hill]

Don't.

[Bill Burr]

Why?

[Nia Renée Hill]

Don't do that part.

[Bill Burr]

Why?

[Nia Renée Hill]

Say he was screaming really loud on the phone.

[Bill Burr]

He was screaming. He was. He was. Why you. Why you killing the joke? It was funny. He goes like this. He was in the. On the phone. He was speaking his language. I don't know, was. But he was going like fucking super loud. Like some real stressful shit was happening. I don't think I was really quiet till he got there. So without even thinking, I just went, buddy, buddy, buddy. And then in perfect English, he goes, oh, I'm sorry. And then he took like. He walked like three feet over and then goes, ming ning yao. That's how I did. And I just laughed at myself going, you know, at least he made an effort, you know? But then I was. Because I've been learning French, you know, and listening to shit like, I do what you do where you're looking at body language. And I kind of figured out the whole scenario. I was like, this guy was remodeling something, a unit or something in this fucking building right next door to the coffee shop. Something was wrong. He was the money behind it. He had his project manager with him. So he was fucking yelling at this guy. It didn't seem like a today problem. It sounded like in three days that fucking sub zero fridge better fucking be here.

[Nia Renée Hill]

You determined all that because you've been taking French on an app on your.

[Bill Burr]

Phone the way he was. Yes. No, no, no, not the app. Just. I've been watching movies and all of that, and I've been trying not to watch the subtitles, okay? So I was able to figure out he was. He was running. He wasn't the project manager, he was the money. His project manager was standing there. Project manager told him something, and he goes, what the fuck? You know? It's going to. That's what I think was going on. But it was just funny to me that he was yelling, like right there. And I said. And he going, oh, I'm sorry. Super polite. And then walk like three feet over and then started yelling again. And also because he did that. How quickly he did it and how not far away he moved from me. I was able to understand the importance of the conversation that he was having.

[Nia Renée Hill]

Sure.

[Bill Burr]

See, look at that. You were all worried about my fucking impression. So there we go. Nia, what's the next joke that I'm gonna do? And you'll be.

[Nia Renée Hill]

Let's see.

[Bill Burr]

I literally just said. I literally just said you don't do my material. And you're like, you're right.

[Nia Renée Hill]

You're right.

[Bill Burr]

Unbelievable, Nia.

[Nia Renée Hill]

Oh, my God. I think they understand why I cautioned you in this particular instance.

[Bill Burr]

Oh, do they? Now you're speaking for my listeners. Your ego is out again. You know what, Nia? This podcast will be listened to for generations. Studied for generation. As to why that's favorite fucking.

[Nia Renée Hill]

This is it. See? See, she just did it.

[Bill Burr]

Well, my favorite. What I love about it is that he's trying to trash me, but he's making me ridiculously more important than I would ever be. That my fall off would be studied for generations. Like, I led a nation into ruin.

[Nia Renée Hill]

Well, you're definitely gonna be studied for generations. I agree with that. Like, they're gonna do, like, after you've gone, they're gonna do some sort of like, documentary about you. They're gonna talk about your impact. I 100% believe that to be true.

[Bill Burr]

That's not gonna.

[Nia Renée Hill]

You don't think so? No, I think so.

[Bill Burr]

I think there's more interesting things that are going on. I think what they're gonna be studying right now is how the fuck this idiot became president and is sending the National Guardian to fucking pull these families apart.

[Nia Renée Hill]

Horrible. Absolutely horrible.

[Bill Burr]

Fucking ridiculous. And this is my fucking thing. These fucking billionaires keep fooling my people. Whitey. That these people that have no money, can't even vote are the reason why you can't afford a house. And then meanwhile, it's like, I'm a billionaire and you're gonna work for me for full time for a whole fucking month, and you're not gonna be able to make your rent. But the problem is undocumented immigrants who don't make any fucking money.

[Nia Renée Hill]

Right?

[Bill Burr]

They're taking the American dream for you, not me. Who can run a failing fucking company and still give himself a fucking eight figure bonus at the end of the year. Like all of those CEOs, like that fucking guy, I always give that example, that guy, he signs on with Starbucks and one of his first moves is he gives himself $125 million signing bonus and his fucking employees don't even have dental insurance.

[Nia Renée Hill]

Wow.

[Bill Burr]

It's like, how do you yeah, they do it all the fucking time. And it's a bunch of white guys. It's a bunch of white guys. But I mean. But so that at the heart of.

[Nia Renée Hill]

The matter, they are.

[Bill Burr]

We are.

[Nia Renée Hill]

You are at the heart of the matter.

[Bill Burr]

Yes.

[Nia Renée Hill]

It all circles back to a bunch of white guys if you really break it down.

[Bill Burr]

Yes, it does. But what you're seeing is. And it's not because white people are inherently evil. What you're seeing is human beings with unchecked power. This is what happens around the globe if you get anybody, whoever the fuck they are. Remember that fucking broad over there in the Philippines or something had unchecked power. And all of a sudden she had like 40 million pairs of shoes.

[Nia Renée Hill]

Imelda Marcos.

[Bill Burr]

She was completely out of control.

[Nia Renée Hill]

Out of control.

[Bill Burr]

Out of control.

[Nia Renée Hill]

When are you gonna wrap this up so we can go get brunch pesto in your omelette maybe?

[Bill Burr]

What, am I gonna wrap this up? This is what. You do this to yourself. I told Nia before I got on this, I said, I'm just gonna do a 15 minute podcast today because I wanna hang out with you. And then what do you do? You come on here and you make both announcements going, he's not gonna fucking do a long podcast. And then you go, when are you gonna wrap this up? I'm trying to defend you for these fucking trolls, and all you're doing is digging the hole deeper.

[Nia Renée Hill]

Oh, fuck.

[Bill Burr]

What is wrong with. No, you're not. You're fucking. I'm so happy to be here with you. I only have three more weeks, dude. I only have three more weeks and then we're back together.

[Nia Renée Hill]

Yes.

[Bill Burr]

Huh? The most fun. Most fun couple that ever fucking rode across the fucking prairie of a relationship. I don't know what that. Yeah, there you go.

[Nia Renée Hill]

Perfect.

[Bill Burr]

All right, Neil, why don't you go get yourself dolled up? You know, Put on something that will impress me.

[Nia Renée Hill]

Okay.

[Bill Burr]

Oh, yes. Jesus. Oh, ho. The Wells Fargo wagon is a coming at you. That's the only musical I know because I auditioned for it in the fifth grade and I didn't get it.

[Nia Renée Hill]

Guys should see how handsome Bill looked last night when we went to the Tony's after.

[Bill Burr]

Oh, Jesus Christ. I look like I sold cell phones. Why was I. I didn't. My Star Search shirt.

[Nia Renée Hill]

You look great. You look really good.

[Bill Burr]

Coming up next. Anyway, what else did I want to talk about? Oh, yeah, there was a couple of shows closed this week. Othello's done. I never got to see that. I blew it. Good Night and good luck. I did see that shout out to Alana Glazier. She did Broadway.

[Nia Renée Hill]

She's so awesome.

[Bill Burr]

The chick from Broad City. The broad from Broad City did Broadway. So, what's on your agenda today, Nia?

[Nia Renée Hill]

Well, well.

[Bill Burr]

Interesting. We'll be right back. No. What is it?

[Nia Renée Hill]

No, I was thinking we'd go out to eat and we could walk around. But I don't know your voice. Well, my voice sounds crazy too, but we were out till like 2am but we can go get something to eat. But you do have a show tonight, so I don't want to do too much. I feel like we need to.

[Bill Burr]

I'm all right.

[Nia Renée Hill]

You need to maybe try to take a nap or something like that, you know?

[Bill Burr]

Okay, first of all. First of all, don't tell me what I need.

[Nia Renée Hill]

Oh, boy.

[Bill Burr]

Okay, I am in tune with. Who's that? Rachel sent me that video. That guy said, not dating anyone, not finding people, being able to find a mate. That's on your level. He goes, text me single and I'll help you out.

[Nia Renée Hill]

Single. Yeah. Yeah. That's like, what? Based on what? Why would I just.

[Bill Burr]

Based on what? Based on the fact he wants to go out, go a bunch of single women.

[Nia Renée Hill]

I don't know. I think that was for guys. I think he was probably like, you know, gonna try to sell them some ebook on.

[Bill Burr]

Oh, that's the money. That's the money part of it.

[Nia Renée Hill]

And then it slides into the manosphere and it becomes like that.

[Bill Burr]

Well, I don't know what you just said, but I'm sure.

[Nia Renée Hill]

I'm sure you don't know what the manosphere is.

[Bill Burr]

Listen, I have an aviation degree and a private pilot sector.

[Nia Renée Hill]

It's definitely not that.

[Bill Burr]

And yeah, I remember the tropopause. I remember the stratosphere. I don't remember the manosphere.

[Nia Renée Hill]

You know what? The manosphere. Like, I have a pilot's license and etc. Etc. Therefore, like, women should want to be with me. And if they don't, they're a bunch of cunt. And all they want is a bunch of chads. It's like incel. Andrew Tate, like loser guys.

[Bill Burr]

Oh, I can't land the P. I.

[Nia Renée Hill]

Can'T land the P. So it's their fault.

[Bill Burr]

Yes, it is.

[Nia Renée Hill]

Yeah. And all these chads. Like, they just want a bunch of chads. These dumb.

[Bill Burr]

Well, let me ask you this. Hey, wait a second. You're here. You have a vagina.

[Nia Renée Hill]

I sure do.

[Bill Burr]

All right, let me ask you this. Why don't you get. Let's See if you can penetrate the manosphere.

[Nia Renée Hill]

Gladly.

[Bill Burr]

Why don't you give. Maybe there's an incel listening right now before he goes down the road of becoming a mass shooter because he doesn't know how to get laid. And then it becomes everybody else's fault that's out there fucking having a good time. How does he make the step toward actual human contact with something he's sort of attracted to?

[Nia Renée Hill]

Say hello, listen and pay attention to body language and vibes. And if it's not like a, oh, hi, how are you? How's your day? Oh, my day's good. What are you up to today? If it's not that, move on. Let it go. Don't internalize it.

[Bill Burr]

What's a good first step?

[Nia Renée Hill]

Every single woman.

[Bill Burr]

Hello.

[Nia Renée Hill]

Literally that.

[Bill Burr]

It's just, I feel like I'm one of those hello. And then I look at the camera. I like that. Yeah, she's just not that into you.

[Nia Renée Hill]

It's just a hello. That's really all it is. Hi. Hi.

[Bill Burr]

You know what's hilarious?

[Nia Renée Hill]

Yeah, great. Thank you. And if she walks away, that's it. Obviously, don't follow and be like, So I was hoping. I like, you gotta read.

[Bill Burr]

Fuck you, bitch.

[Nia Renée Hill]

Yeah, exactly.

[Bill Burr]

Do you know how long it took me to figure that out?

[Nia Renée Hill]

What do you mean?

[Bill Burr]

Hello.

[Nia Renée Hill]

Just saying hello to somebody.

[Bill Burr]

It took me, I think, into my 50s.

[Nia Renée Hill]

What? We've been together since you were 30? 35. What are you talking about?

[Bill Burr]

I'm just talking about not being a fucking wallflower and actually making small talk and shit, which I do all the time now, which I never used to. I just realized, no, I thought I had to achieve all of these things for people to like me. And then along, somewhere along the line, I just sort of looked back going, like, you know, all I really needed to do was say hello. I was a good looking guy, I was a funny guy. And I was like, I need to do this and then become a comedian, then sell a bunch of tickets. And then people. It wasn't even just women. It was just, everyone will like me and people will stop fucking with me. And then Sometime in my 50s, I was kind of being like coming out of my shell finally. And I was like going, oh. All I had to do was say hello. What do you know? Yep, what do you know? I still did all right, though.

[Nia Renée Hill]

I think so.

[Bill Burr]

I think I did real well.

[Nia Renée Hill]

Yeah, I agree.

[Bill Burr]

You big jerk.

[Nia Renée Hill]

You big dummy.

[Bill Burr]

How come I love you even more? Why is that? No, because you're supposed to say, I love you. Even more. You didn't F and B. And then I just walk out. Billy Incel. I like that character.

[Nia Renée Hill]

Oh, God, Billy.

[Bill Burr]

Yes, Billy Incel.

[Nia Renée Hill]

Please don't develop that.

[Bill Burr]

Huh?

[Nia Renée Hill]

No, wait.

[Bill Burr]

Oh, look, look. See, she's saying what he could develop.

[Nia Renée Hill]

No, no, do it, do it. Whatever your heart's desire when it comes to your comedy, I have no say in it whatsoever.

[Bill Burr]

No, but let's talk about this right now. This is what happens. I say shit around the house and then she fucking laughs. And then I get a look on my face and she goes, don't do that on stage. Don't do that on stage. But she does it out of like a protective thing, like. Cause I don't want. I don't want you to get in trouble. But then this is my thing, though. I've never told you this. Whenever you say, don't do that on stage, I'm like, I'm fucking doing that.

[Nia Renée Hill]

On stage Because I noticed.

[Bill Burr]

No. Cause then. I know, I know. It's like, no, you did this thing one time, we were in the kitchen and I said something so fucked up. You literally put your hand over your mouth and like 30 seconds you tried to hold it in. And then you ran out of the room laughing. And you're my favorite person in the world to make laugh. And then when you came back and I. And I was just going, what? It was funny. It was funny. And then you, you said something. You just, you had like tears in your eyes and said it was funny. But you can't say that.

[Nia Renée Hill]

That's the thing. I just want. I want you to not get canceled. If I'm being honest, like, that's always what I want.

[Bill Burr]

But I think getting canceled is over now. With what? The Tesla guy and the. The reality show guy have just been this overtly fucking racist, anti semitic, all of this type of stuff. Those two guys are the biggest fucking ballist sack cowards ever. And this is not like a political opinion. I'm not trashing Republican Party. I'm talking about those two fucking guys. What they go after. They just prey on the. On, on the powerless. It's fucking. They blame. It's so funny now that they broke up and they're having this mean girl spatial.

[Nia Renée Hill]

Oh, my God.

[Bill Burr]

So everybody I know has been saying, like, yeah, he's like, he went to Epstein Island. It's like, well, well, when did you know that?

[Nia Renée Hill]

Yeah, you knew that.

[Bill Burr]

Yeah, you knew that all the time and he didn't fucking say anything.

[Nia Renée Hill]

Exactly.

[Bill Burr]

This guy, this guy fucks 12 year olds it's like, well, you fucking knew that before and you went to work with them.

[Nia Renée Hill]

Exactly. So it's a little too late. But every. Also, everyone knew that. Everyone knew that he was friends with Jeffrey Epstein. He's not dropping anything that is in any way new information like that has been out there. Jeffrey Epstein was friends with a lot of people. A lot of, like, famous rich people in New York, including Donald Trump. So why is he now being like, you went to Epstein island, you know, emoji, like, shut the fuck up, you fucking weirdo, with your broken dick from your botched dick surgery?

[Bill Burr]

Yeah. That has not been confirmed.

[Nia Renée Hill]

How would we confirm that?

[Bill Burr]

I don't know. Ask one of his 18 baby mamas.

[Nia Renée Hill]

Oh, my God.

[Bill Burr]

Isn't that hilarious? Isn't that hilarious?

[Nia Renée Hill]

Exactly.

[Bill Burr]

Well, it's okay, because he can afford it. And how does he afford it, Nia? By not paying his employees.

[Nia Renée Hill]

Exactly. And paying a bunch.

[Bill Burr]

See, near right there.

[Nia Renée Hill]

To have them too, because a lot of them weren't even carried naturally.

[Bill Burr]

So there you go, Nia.

[Nia Renée Hill]

Not that surrogacy is bad, but, like, please. He. He was on this whole thing about, like, the end of civilization, and so that's why people need to have a bunch of.

[Bill Burr]

He wasn't on that, Nia. He was. He was drugs, which is a whole.

[Nia Renée Hill]

Like, white supremacist thing. Anyway.

[Bill Burr]

You know what's so funny about that guy?

[Nia Renée Hill]

Wait a minute. Have more white babies.

[Bill Burr]

Like, here's one for you. The guy was an immigrant, he was on drugs, and he impregnated, like, 14 different women. Oh, my God.

[Nia Renée Hill]

Like, he's the one that should be in the case.

[Bill Burr]

Yeah, they should be getting him the. Out of the country. Oh, my God. I think we figured something out. We figured it out. Well, I have a Zoom call here coming up. I had such a good.

[Nia Renée Hill]

I want to say on your podcast, happy birthday, honey.

[Bill Burr]

Oh, thank you.

[Nia Renée Hill]

I have celebrated how many birthdays with you? 21. 22 birthdays with you.

[Bill Burr]

22 birthdays.

[Nia Renée Hill]

22 birthdays we celebrated together. That is so amazing.

[Bill Burr]

It is. It's making me sad how fast it's going by.

[Nia Renée Hill]

I know.

[Bill Burr]

You know what I mean?

[Nia Renée Hill]

Go by so fast.

[Bill Burr]

No. You know what's fucked up, but what's fucked up is. Is not, like, how much more we know ourselves so we get along better. I always think, like, I wish I knew that stuff then.

[Nia Renée Hill]

It literally takes a lifetime to get to really know somebody. So here we are, still standing.

[Bill Burr]

I know enough about you.

[Nia Renée Hill]

Yeah.

[Bill Burr]

All right.

[Nia Renée Hill]

Still gonna, you know, control your career.

[Bill Burr]

Tell me what to say.

[Nia Renée Hill]

Tell me what to say on stage.

[Bill Burr]

I mean, you can hear it. You can hear my voice. I'm afraid to say things in front of you.

[Nia Renée Hill]

Yep. You have to.

[Bill Burr]

Like earlier when you told me not to do that joke, and I did it anyway.

[Nia Renée Hill]

And see? And see, this is the thing, if anything that's true, is that maybe I do try to stop Bill from himself because I'm worried that he's gonna get in trouble. He does it anyway, and he still comes out on top.

[Bill Burr]

What about when we were waiting for the fucking table yesterday and you thought I was gonna get upset? So you're like, bill, why don't you go over there and go sit down? She talks to me like a rescue dog.

[Nia Renée Hill]

I'm always trying to manage him. I'm always trying to, like, handle him because I'm worried that he's gonna, like.

[Bill Burr]

I'm gonna flip out.

[Nia Renée Hill]

Flip out.

[Bill Burr]

But. But by.

[Nia Renée Hill]

Man, I'm not doing that anymore.

[Bill Burr]

Okay?

[Nia Renée Hill]

I've decided that I'm not doing that anymore. I'm just gonna let you have whatever emotions you're having.

[Bill Burr]

No, you were trying to keep me calm.

[Nia Renée Hill]

Yes, I was.

[Bill Burr]

And why was that?

[Nia Renée Hill]

Because I knew you were gonna flip out.

[Bill Burr]

And why is that?

[Nia Renée Hill]

Because we were waiting too long for the food.

[Bill Burr]

And why were we waiting too long for the food?

[Nia Renée Hill]

Because I decided to go to a place.

[Bill Burr]

And where did you find that place?

[Nia Renée Hill]

On Instagram.

[Bill Burr]

Yes. Those fucking Instagram places. It's gonna be fucking. Fucking a line of 40 white people dressing like, they don't have money, standing in front of us like, oh, my God, you guys, you have got to go. I love that.

[Nia Renée Hill]

Run, don't walk.

[Bill Burr]

Run, don't walk. We waited 20 minutes, but it was totally worth it.

[Nia Renée Hill]

Did you like the food?

[Bill Burr]

The food was amazing.

[Nia Renée Hill]

Okay.

[Bill Burr]

It was definitely amazing. It was worth it. That I want to have that food for breakfast. No, it was 3 o' clock in the afternoon. I know, I know. We stayed out late. We stayed out late. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Rondo walked. I want to love this hidden gem. And then they just. That everybody already knows about. And then I'm gonna stand here and take a picture with a fucking donut that they put. I don't know if they mashed up something else. Anyway. All right. There. Silk robe. Okay. I have to wrap this up because I immediately go into a zoom. I will. I will make up this time. I always make up the time. What do I got here? Oh, my God. I got. Oh, my God. I have to do the Fucking read real quick. Shit. All right, hang on a second. All right. Oh, look what it is, everybody, it's hims. If erectile dysfunction is getting you down, you get it, NIA getting you down. You need HIMS to help get your confidence back and other things. HIMSs provides access to treatments that can help you stay hard and last longer so you can be ready whenever the mood strikes. HIMS is changing men's health care by providing you with access to affordable sexual health treatments and with from the comfort of your couch. HIMS provides access to a range of doctor trusted erectile dysfunction treatments like chewable tablets, Viagra, Cialis and their generics for up to 95% less. The process is 100% online so there's no need for uncomfortable doctor visits. Just fill out an intake form on their site and a medical provider will determine the right treatment option. If prescribed, your medication ships directly to you for free. No insurance is needed and one low price covers everything from treatments to ongoing care. With hundreds of thousands of trusted subscribers, HIMSS can help you find the erectile dysfunction option that works for you. Start your free online Visit [e-mail] BRRRR that's H I M S.com BRRRR for your personalized erectile dysfunction treatment option HIMSS.com BRRRR the featured products include compound products which are not approved nor verified for safety effectiveness quality by the fda. Prescription required. See website for details, restrictions and important safety information. Price varies based on product and subscription plan. All right, that's the the half A podcast. All right, that's it. Go fuck yourselves. I will check in on you on Thursday.