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It's Bill Burr and it's time for the Monday morning podcast for Monday, June 1, 2026. What's going on? Oh, yeah. Ah, geez. How's it going there? It's Sunday. It's Sunday afternoon, everybody. June 1st. Man. Holy. It's like the year's almost halfway over. Just watched the end of the MotoGP race. Got super busy. I still haven't seen the other one. Was it in Catalina? Wherever the hell it was the other one. I saw the French one and then I missed one, and then I saw this Italian one. This is the one I want to go to. I think this is this really famous track that has the fastest straightaway and blah, blah, blah, blah. But anyway, anywho fucking who won here? Marco Baschecki, the first time he's ever won in Italy. Very emotional. Jorge Martin was in second, Paco Benyai, you know, even though he fucking burned up his tires, he was leading for a lot of the race. He ended up in third. Still made the podium. Ogura, who's a star of the future, De Giantonio, Pedro Okasta, and then Marc Marquez. That was the best part of the race. Was it Guruk Acosta and Marquez going back? Was it Fernandez just going back and forth? Wait, is this the standings? No, that was the results. But anyway, I know Marc Marquez is back and they were talking about, oh, you know, he got like the surgery on, like, his shoulder blade and whatever else he did. I forget, was it a bone in his foot? I don't know, but they were talking about him coming back and then making like a A contest to this thing. And I don't know, man. Like, he's pretty far back now. He's got 71 points, and the way Basheck he's riding, he's got 173. I'll tell you right now, as someone who casually follows this sport, I. I just don't see the guy not casually more than casual. I just feel bad. I missed two races, and now I'm back. Now I'm back. I missed one. I. I missed one. But anyway, I just don't see him coming back from that. He's fucking running away with it here or riding away, would you say? Riding away, Would you say, oh, Billy Freckles. Billy Freckles got some acting work coming up overseas. Overseas. I'm doing a couple of weeks on a movie. Very thankful for that coming up. And I'll be overseas, and hopefully I'll be able to, you know, sneak out and do some shows and whatnot when I'm over there. I mean, obviously, acting is. Is the priority here, but it's gonna be fun. Gonna bring the family over and stuff, so it's gonna be a good time. Hopefully. You know what I mean? Hopefully everything goes according to plan, you know, locations, weather, all that stuff. All of that stuff, man. And congratulations to the San Antonio spurs, huh? Winning game seven. I think they won six and seven against the defending NBA champions, the Oklahoma City Thunder. One of those newer teams. Not newer, it's not a newer franchise, but one of those, you know, they ran out of ferocious animals and shit, so they just started going with weather, which I think is gonna be, you know, with like, all this global warming shit, you know, I think you're just gonna start seeing team names as they keep adding more teams, you know? Cause they want to go global, you know, the Barcelona wildfires, You know, the Dublin hole in the ozone layer. And that would be just like us to have American teams named after shit that we caused. Anyway, anyway, I said, you know, I didn't do the update for the GPS on my motorcycle. And I was like, three behind. And it just wouldn't. It wouldn't connect to my new phone because I wasn't with the update. And I asked the technician, I go, wait a minute. So is this bike gonna be like a phone? Like, someday These upgrades on the stupid fucking GPS is now. Then it's just gonna time out like a goddamn iPad. And he's like, yeah, yeah, kind of. It's unfucking real. Like, they just make shit. They all look at fucking Apple and they're all like envious because all of their shit craps out and then they just throw it. They don't give a fuck that it ends up in the ocean and that they pay this giant fine for polluting the fucking world's ocean. Right? All they give a fuck about is the money. So in the future, everything's gonna be like your iPad and your fucking phone. Everything's gonna be like, you got to download the app, there's a camera, it's listening to you, you know, and everybody's gonna do it. They could be like, set the air conditioner, it's 69 degree. I don't have to get up off the fucking couch. And all of our houses are going to be bugged. Like we're John Gotti. Unbelievable. Unbelievable. All the, all the elections will be rigged. They're all rigged. I hope you guys like this guy that he's in office because he's never going to fucking leave. And he has the infrastructure that he's going to win everything. He's just going to fucking win it. Someone was saying he's going to step down and then they'll rig it for the vice president and then he'll come back to, you know, and they'll just keep going and all of these people are going to be like, woo, yeah, same colored skin. Same colored skin. There's nothing you can do about it. It's just, it's the dumbest. It's the dumbest. Yeah. You know what my people don't understand Caucasians is what it is, is we don't understand is we sit there and we let them implement this Gestapo shit because we don't think it's ever gonna come around to us. And they just make it right in front of us and they just stick non white people into that system and we go, oh, that's never gonna be me. You know, it's like back in, you know, like now you look at that fucking those Driscoll berries and they're getting busted. They have all of this cancer cancerous pesticides on it. They shrink wrap it. There's no way to wash it off. It's literally a fucking terrorist act. Childhood cancer is up 30 fucking percent, right? And I was sitting there going, how the fuck could you do that? And it's like, oh, what do you mean? Well, of course they're doing it. Couple hundred years ago we sat back and they put, they put smallpox on blankets and gave it to Native Americans and killed them. And we will. Well, that's not us. So we didn't give a Fuck, eventually this is what I've learned. Whatever the fuck the upper 1% is doing to nonwhite people, they're eventually going to do to your fucking Caucasian ass. They'll just do like. This is just, you know, listen, listen, this is just a crazy comedian talking, but this is what I think, okay? Now they got the van, they literally have the vans and they have the prison. So right now they're just putting, you know, and they have the right to kill. They have the right to shoot a mom and say fucking bitch. Then they say she was a terrorist. And at least one of the news channels will immediately jump on board and say that this person was a woke anti capitalist, whatever the fuck they're going to do, right? So now that they have the vans and they have this, their own police force that can just kill people and not get prosecuted and they'll pay off your student loans if you agree to be an SS person, they'll just change. Then it's going to become liberals and then it's political dissident, whatever the fuck it is. And they'll just eventually work their way through every. By the time you fucking realize that all those people that went in the van were not your enemy, they were your teammates, it's gonna be too late. So that's the show I think I'm watching right now. I could be wrong. Hopefully I am wrong. I'll tell you a show that I did see that was fucking amazing as I went over to the, you know, the Blue Note Jazz Club that they got there in New York City, the famous one. They opened a new one out here in Los Angeles and me and my wife drove into LA and we saw one of the most innovative drummers fucking in my lifetime. I could say Chris Daddy Dave's trio that had this guy Isaiah Sharkey on guitar who just fucking blew my mind. And then on base was Pino Palladino. And I have to tell you, the guy running the place was telling me that they were playing a different set every night and that they were up there. Not really, just sort of loosely knowing what they were gonna do. And you would have no idea that all of it wasn't completely worked out. They were otherworldly. How about that? And I never say any of that stuff. And I posted a picture of Chris Dave's kit in the way that he has it set up. And I will tell you, that guy does more with his left foot with like a remote hi hat than most guys do with their bass drum foot. And the way he keeps time the way he. The fills and stuff and the accents that he does with his foot. Opening it and closing it and just. Or just opening it and closing and playing. Like most drummers, you know, you're either tapping your foot with your hi hat if you're on the ride, quarters or eighths. And this guy was playing the notes in between those. And he would do it too, when he was doing like fills on the hi hat when he would open it. And this is, by the way. Meanwhile, the rest of his limbs are going crazy, filling in all the space in between that. I don't even know. Be honest with you. I have no idea what the fuck he was doing. Even watching him, he was incredible. And his bass player and guitar player were equally innovative in playing on the same level. And all three of them came together, all of that talent. And the most impressive thing was in. Is there was space for everybody to do what they were doing. And everybody complimented each other the way that they were playing. It was like just musicianship at such a high level. I don't know. It was so inspiring. I haven't even played drums since. And I've just been thinking about it. Usually I go out and go see a band and I come home the next day and I go out and I start playing. But like, what I saw Friday night, I'm still trying to unpack it. It was incredible. So anyway, I think I started to talk about sports. So I can't remember. Yeah, the San Antonio spurs won game six and game seven. And the NBA Finals start Wednesday, June 3rd. And the NH the NHL Final starts on June 2nd. Congratulations to the Carolina Hurricanes. After getting the old. Right there, Fred, in game one from the Montreal Canadiens. They just ran the table on him. They shut him the fuck down, sort of. You know, they. They still had to win in overtime their first two games, but the last two, I don't know, Whatever. Whatever. Rod Brindemore and his crew figured out, the team executed and they just had like. I don't just feel like for the rest of the series, they had two to three times the amount of shots on net than Montreal did. But Montreal is a young team, so they will be back. They're definitely headed in the right direction. So anyways. But never forget, the curse of Patrick Waugh continues. I didn't say that to any of my Montreal Canadian friends, fans that are friends of mine. I didn't give any shit. I mean, how could I. How could I fucking. My team lost there, you know, and then we lost to the Sabres and I believe The Canadians beat them. I want to say they beat them. They beat the Lightning and then they beat the Sabers and then they lost to Carolina. There you go. There you go. See? Oh, Billy. Old Billy Freckles is fucking paying attention to the hockey. And then I've been sort of paying attention. So my prediction, if the spurs win their sixth NBA title, the discussion of that franchise and how they've won five and now they've returned to championship form will take all of half a morning on espn. But if the Knicks win it, they will talk about it for three months straight and will say things like, you know, are the Knicks the new Celtics and Lakers? I mean, the level of attention then that, that, that fucking fan base gets is, is astounding. Anyway, so we shall see. I think it's going to be a great final and I actually, I think it's going to go seven. I don't, you know, I was talking to Versy and he was saying, you know, the west isn't as strong as. It's sort of this myth that they're that strong. And I don't know, I just like the sound of that. I, you know, I don't have a dog in either one of these fights. I just want to see seven games. I want to see Vegas and Carolina goes seven and I want the spurs and Knicks to go seven games. We shall see though. The Knicks will be fucking arrested, I can tell you that. People always talking about whether that's an advantage or a disadvantage, who knows? But anyway, old Billy Freckles is going to be running his, running his hour around LA. I got a show back the next two Mondays. I'm going to be running hour 15, hour and 20. But then I also have to. I got to get two more shows in. I want to run it like four times and get ready for my show. I think it's June 15, Pawtucket, to kind of kick off that whole. What does the world call it? The World Cup? The World cup, which. Who's kidding? Who is the dopest fucking championship there? I mean, I would that in the Olympics, you know, when you win a gold medal, you are the fucking best of the best. The whole world competed to get in there, right? For the most part, the World cup is the same damn thing. So we shall see, man. We shall see how that that shakes out. I usually pick a team, you know, that I root for and then I just go with that. You know, I watch USA Soccer until we get knocked out and then I just, I know it's hard to Pick a team, though. You know, I like, you know, a lot of the European teams, and I like a lot of the teams from South America. You know, I like Brazil, I like Argentina, I like Venezuela. You know, I kind of like that whole continent. I got no beef with South America. And then over in Europe, you know, those are just fun teams because they fucking hate each other. They've been to war with each other. They just fucking hate each other. Like, the English and the France don't. The France. The French don't like each other. The Germans, I mean, they got beef with everybody, right? Except the Nordic countries. Anyway, I don't know what we do with that. But anyway, so I've been doing. I've been hitting the gym, upper body, lower body, cardio, yoga. I've been doing the whole thing. My fucking stomach is down, dude. Finally, this Covid weight, and I just got to keep going with it. So tomorrow. The reason why I'm doing this podcast now. So, Billy Balyptical. My gym is down to one fucking elliptical. You know, dude, it's like, what. What am I paying for over here? But anyway, you know what the hardest muscle to fucking work out for me is, is that muscle between your shoulder blades. You know, they have all these exercises, but to actually do it right, you know, people think they do it when they're. They're like. You know, they do like that rowan thing and they think it's like, unless you bring your shoulder blades together and let them separate, and you bring them together by making your shoulder blades come together, you're really working your delts. And I would think your arms and maybe your lats, but you're not working that thing. And that's the fucker that you need to be strong because, you know, you're benching and you're curling. That's making your front of your torso stronger. That's how I ended up up my shoulders. That's how I ended up with the rotator cuff issues. You know what I mean? So I always try to. I always try to stay on that. And I don't know. So if you have any, like, good exercise, the ones that I find best is to use like the bands. And you bring your arms out, you know, like. Like Jesus, like, oh, I died for your sins. You know, it's like, dude, I wasn't born yet, and I wasn't born with the original sin. I didn't go and eat the apple, you know, that's why I just. I'll never get back to Catholicism. That fucking ho. We're all born into sin. I mean, if that isn't the most obvious business move ever. Before you're even born. You need to come to us so you won't burn in hell forever. It's so fucking stupid. It's so fucking stupid. So anyway, you bring your arms, like, just straight out. But you do it, like with the bands, with these resistant bands. You do it these. These fucking things. And, like, you bring your shoulder blades together and what happens? That's the only exercise that I do where I feel a burn in between my shoulder blades. Other than that, if I do, like, the rowing and all of that, you know. Well, God damn it, I don't feel a fucking thing. All right, let's talk about old cinema. That's what I like to watch. I like watching old movies on the Criterion Collection. I'm watching Harold and Maude right now. I'm getting through that with my kids every five seconds. Dad. Dad. Hey, dad. Dad. That's all I hear all day long. That's what I heard today. My wife was out, and I was with the kids all day long, and that's all I heard. Dad, dad. Dad wants breakfast. Dad, what's for breakfast? Dad, can you make me eggs and toast? Dad, can you throw me some hits? Dad, can I ride my bike? And I'm, like, cleaning out the garage. You know, I had. I got that air conditioner thing, that vent put in my drum room. And I. You know, it was a bunch of dust in there. So I went out there with one of those stupid masks I had left over from COVID I go to put it around my ear, and it just snaps. Because they made it just. Just enough that you could wear it one, one and a half times before it just pulls off the fucking mask. And then I get upset and I throw the mask out. And the reality is, is I've allowed today's society to make me forget that I actually know how to sew. I actually don't know. I used to know how to sew. I took sewing class. Wasn't my fucking. That was actually a class in my junior high. You know, sewing and all the guys like, I'm not doing that. What am I, broad over here, right? We were all like that. And then years later, it's just like, you know, if you know how to sew a button on or if you have a Covid mask, you got a sewing machine, you just stick that thing in there. You press down on the gas pedal all four, that thing's never coming off. And that's one to grow On. That's one to grow on. Anyway, so I went out, cleaned out the garage, Just moved everything around, saw a bunch of toys my kids have, like, outgrown. Set those aside. We donate those things and hopefully they give them to people that need them and they don't just throw them out. Like Goodwill. Goodwill goes down, you know, just takes all your. The amount of clothes that go down to Goodwill. And nobody ever thinks, like, you know, maybe I should stop buying so many clothes. You just keep. You just keep buying clothes. You just keep buying clothes because you got to keep up with it because you. You're on the Instagram and the. I gotta update my reference. Huh? Where are you guys now? You guys left Instagra. You went to TikTok. TikTok. You don't stop, right? And then what? Now there's another one out there that people are. I don't know what it's called. For some reason I'm thinking it's called labels. I know it's not that, but it's something stupid like that trends. Hang on a second. I know what I'm gonna do. I'm look up somebody sent me a message and they. And they. They linked it to whatever that was, and I was just like, yeah, man. Like, I don't fucking. I don't have that. Not Vines. That's Instagram. Hang on. Just stay with me. Instagram. TikTok thread. There you go, Threads. I like that they come up with new social media. Do you think they'll ever be, like, a nice, empathetic person that starts social media? And would we even like it at this point? Like, what if you went on. What if they created a new social media, you know, called like, Friends? Wasn't there. That was a Friendster. And then there was Facebook. What if you just called it Friends? Well, the Friends to people who probably would probably sue you. Whatever, you know, whatever. Whatever the fuck, Eddie. Nice. Nice. Whatever you want to call your fucking social media, right? And there's no bots and there's no, like, negativity. There's no racism. There's none of that. That's one of my favorite things that people say. Like, they're always talking about comedy. Like, you don't back when you could joke like this, man. You can't fucking say anything anymore. It's like, what are you talking about? There is so much shit that you can now say that you couldn't say. My first 34 years in fucking comedy. You can evidently fucking seek Heil twice on television. And it doesn't affect Your career, your career would been a fucking over when I was a kid. You can be a standing president and take any, any acknowledgement that we enslave black people and be like, oh, I didn't want to look at anything that's too difficult for me to look at. And the fact that you would want to do that, nobody, even your own party wouldn't align with you. You can fucking do that. I don't know what these people are talking about. You can be pretty goddamn overtly fucking racist and nothing happens. So I don't know what you're talking about. Yeah, there's like a. Yeah, there's like a big push with that. Like in, like stand up comedy, people are acting like there was a time where you could go on stage and just be like, overtly racist and people were less sensitive. It's like, no, no. At least not since March 2, 1992, when I was doing it. There was never a time when you could do that. People always like, dude, what the fuck? Yeah, all of that shit is weird to me. And I also like people who aren't comedians and they just go, they always go, like, dude, it's a roast. Like, they don't even know what they're talking about. Go back and look at roasts and watch how roasts used to be, you know, and then just watch and actually look at how people used to be. They wouldn't bring up politics or religion, whatever. And then look at social media. It's not really roast. It's just how human beings are right now. It's just. We're just fucking. Am I nuts? We're just so unnecessarily mean to one another and it's not good natured. It's not like, hey, just fucking around. It's like, nah, I'm kind of trying to make you feel as bad as possible. There's like kids on social media listen, you know, fucking killing themselves. Bill, you're just talking right now. I know, but I'm just saying I hear things. I don't necessarily know what's going on, but why should that prevent me from talking? I don't know. Anyway, I had all the fucking anxiety again, man. And I just kind of. I don't know. I'm really good at it now. I just. I tell my wife that I'm not feeling good and that I just. And the poor thing has to listen to me. And whenever I, well, what's going on with you? And I start like 40 miles above the planet talking about everything that's going around. The world before we whittle down to what's actually bothering me. And she just sits there and listens. And I used to think in my head, like, she doesn't give a fuck. And it's like, no, she's just waiting for you to get to what you're actually upset about. And I got to it, and she gave me some great advice, and I followed the advice, and now I feel better today and I don't have any anxiety. So there you go. Here's one for you. You want to fucking blow your wife's or girlfriend's mind as a man? Walk up to them and say, I need help. I'm struggling emotionally. I need help. And they will be so happy that you say that. Rather than take your day out on them or be all moody or whatever, it's. Unless, you know, you're with an asshole. And they'll be like, jesus Christ, what now? It's not one thing, it's another with you. Oh, God, Suicidal again. Jesus Christ. What is that? Is that your period? Once a month. Oh, I'm going to jump off a fucking. Well, I'm gonna jump off a bridge if you bring it up again. Yeah, if you're with somebody like that, you know, that's. You know, it's a good. What do they call it? The litmus test? What is the litmus test? Hey, all I know is the lock the door test. I like those guys, the guys who have the bar room sensibility, And they don't realize that everything is so simple to them because they have such a compromised amount of information. The less information you have, the more simple the world looks. And you can believe that from a man who has the hiccups. Anyway, I did have a great time with my kids today. They're at a fucking awesome age. Nine and about to be six, and we went to a birthday party, and it's just cool that they can, like, go off and, like, play now, and I don't have to worry every five seconds that they're gonna stick their finger in a socket or jump off of something. Like, they both have, like, you know, common sense, and they're good kids and all of that. So I was actually kind of able to relax a little bit because, Jesus Christ, that first five, six, you know, years of your kid's life. Remember when Jim Carrey played that lifeguard at the. At the hot tub? Remember that on snl? Like, I feel like that's the first five years of parenting. You have to be like that in the game. Like, head on a Swivel the whole time to make sure nothing bad happens to your kid. It's really fucking. It's intense. It's an intense goddamn thing. But anyways, I'm thankful that they're both happy and healthy. They've got to this age without any major problems. You know, it's a thing to be thankful for. And I'm thankful for everybody who got some tickets to go see my shows. And I'm really looking forward tomorrow night. You know, that's pretty cool. You know, I get to do my show Monday night, and then Tuesday I watch the NHL, and then Wednesday I watch the NBA. It's going to be fun. It's a fun couple of weeks. And then you come out of it and you get the dog days of summer of baseball, and the next thing you know, football's around the corner and here comes playoff baseball. It just. It never fucking ends. It's almost as if they don't want you to pay attention to what's going on in the world. All right, so that's. That's my babbling at this point. Oh, Billy Babylon. Let's see here. Oh, I got. I got. Oh, I got to do my reads for the week, right? Isn't that what it is? Isn't that what it is? Isn't that water? Okay, here we go. Oh, look what it is, everybody. Simply safe. Look, we all want to feel safe at home. But for a long time, home security has meant expensive monthly fees and ironclad contracts that locked you in for how long? Years. No drilling, no stress, and no waiting around for a service appointment. Comprehensive protection. It's not just a camera. It's a comprehensive ecosystem of sensors, cameras for inside and out and 24. 7 professional monitoring. In the event of a break in, fire or flood, Simplisafe's agents are ready to take action. Affordable pricing. 247 monitoring for a fraction of what the traditional brands charge. 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That's squarespace.com burr all capitals with the bur for a free trial and when you're ready to launch, use offer code BRRRR to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. All right, what do we got here? Oh, Fast Growing Trees, man. Hey, man, did you know Fast Growing Trees is America's largest, most trusted online nursery with thousands of trees and plants and over 2 million happy customers? Well, I'm telling you that that's what's going on, man. They have all the plants your yard or your home needs, including fruit trees, privacy trees. Get the fuck out of here. Flowering trees. Hello, shrubs. The old basic shrubs. Shrubs are like the fucking tree version of making money and joining a country club and starting to play golf. You know, you didn't even want to do it. It's just what you do. And houseplants, or as I like to call them, jobs for your neighbors. Hey, we're gonna go down to Cancun. Could you water our houseplant? All grown with care and guaranteed to arrive healthy. You don't need a big yard or a lot of space. This blows my mind. You can grow lemon, avocado, olive or fig trees indoors, along with a wide variety of houseplants. Dude, that's a fucking movie. Some. Dude, the zombies are outside. They're trying to figure out how to get out of there, you know, and the zombies are trying to starve, starve them out. But they don't know that. They went to fucking Fast Growing Trees and they have an unlimited amount of fruit with avocado, olive, figs, just fucking chowing down, shitting like a goddamn racehorse. And one day these zombie cunts figure it out and they all start standing up around the windows to break out the fucking light. And then what do you do? What do you do? You know, you have in your crew, you have somebody who grew weed in their house back in the 80s and he kept the fucking lamps. That's how you keep them going. Something like that. That's the first act, okay? Get all the plants you need without the messy car or the trip to the garden center right now. They have great deals on spring planting essentials. Up to half off on selected plants. And listeners to our show get 20% off their first purchase when using the Code Burr and at checkout. That's an additional 20% off. Better plants and better growing at fast growing trees.com using the code burr at checkout fast growing trees.com code burr now's the perfect time to plant. Let's grow together. Use BRRRR to save today. Offered Valid is valid for a limited time. Terms and conditions may apply. All right, here we go. This is the last one here. Ship Station. Not Shit station. Not selling porta potties. Ship Station. If it ain't broke, don't fix it. Sounds right until you actually do the math. For most business businesses, shipping is that thing. What? What? If it ain't broke, don't fix it. Sounds right until you actually do the math. For most businesses, shipping is that thing. What's it actually costing you? Because if nobody's questioning it, it's probably costing you way more than it should. Shipstation. See what they just did there? You weren't even worried about that. Now you're worried and now they're going to bring you a solution. This is classic sales. Shipstation makes switching easy and the savings are immediate. Shipstation is an end to end order fulfillment platform for e commerce businesses built to handle your entire shipping workflow so your team can focus on growth. Everything from order management to inventory and returns is centralized in one platform. And the automated rate shopping. You can Compare rates across UPS, USPS and FedEx with savings up to 90% off while you focus on growth. Over 1 million businesses leveled up their shipping game with Ship Station with customers reporting scaling fulfillment up to 40 times while cutting costs up to 30% while they continued to focus on growth. You don't focus on the planet and help people out. You focus on growth so that somebody could so one of the reptiles will throw their money at you. The sooner you switch, the sooner you start saving time and money. Get started with Shipstation today and get 60 days free@shipstation.com with Code Burr. That's shipstation.com Code Burr shipstation.com Code Burr. Taxes and fees apply, but after that you could focus on growth. All right, let's see here. Well now we got to go. We got to go to. What the fuck you guy. What the fuck you guys wrote this fucking week? Okay. All right. Curbing phone addiction. Billy. Blue light. Let the blue light special shine a light on you. Turn off your mother fucking Phone. Okay. You can charge your phone to display in grayscale instead of color. This helps make it less addicting while still being functional as a tool. That seems to me like you're an alcoholic and now you're only drinking beer. I gotta get off this thing. You won't want to scroll Instagram in black and white, but you can still use Duolingo and scan your boarding pass, etc. However, this doesn't reduce blue light. The phone uses blue light in addition to red and green light to make white light. You know, I used to take an art class and I don't remember mixing blue, red and green to get white. I don't know how that works. But you know what? I'm not the smartest. I'm not the fucking sharpest tool in the goddamn drawer there. I'm sure that there's an app that will let you toggle grayscale. You can also turn it on in your phone settings on an iPhone. Search your settings for color filters or navigate to accessibility, display and text size color filters. Check grayscale and adjust the intensity. I Google these instructions so your mileage may vary. P.S. i still use your pie crust recipe. Oh, that's great. I guess I'm saying my mileage may vary means depending on what phone I have. Anyway. All right. AI affairs. Jesus Christ. These robots are each other. They're cheating on each other now. Dear Billy Boston Baked Tits. You know, I lived in Boston for 27 years. I never had baked beans. I don't know where they were. I never had a yellow chowder. Me. Think about it. You live in Philadelphia. When was the last time you went to the Liberty Bill? You're just not doing it. Was the last time you ran up the stairs like Rocky. This is all shit for fucking tourists. It's like you live in Boston. Do you go on the Swan boats? You don't. You don't. All right. AI affairs still Billy. Boston Baked Bitch. Tape Tits. I am here in Boston for a trauma conference and thought of you. A trauma conference? I work in mental health and we are seeing more and more couples having issues with infidelity around their spouses slash mates cheating with AI bots. What do you mean? Is this like they getting like AI sex dolls? I'm talking full on affairs. Somehow I know you don't work in the field. And I hear about you're a bitch about AI all the time. Parentheses. Don't get me wrong. I do too. I want to get your thoughts on this. It is pretty creepy and scary to me. Yeah, dude, I'm like reading slowly because I don't think I want to read the rest of this. What the fuck is happening to people? Well, what's going on is the upper 1% is preying on us as they always do. And now they have the technology to do it at a rapid speed. They've scaled that business and they're concentrating on growing their business. What the fuck is happening to people? Working in mental health has become a crazy thing. Navigating this whole new world of AI and bots and people using chat GPT for therapy. Yeah. Why the fuck would you talk? I mean, because you can't afford it, that's why. I don't know. I would try to stay human based for therapy. This guy says it's absolutely terrifying. People would rather use a fucking robot for therapy than a human being. Which defeats the whole purpose of the process of therapy. Absolutely. I know you are on your own personal journey with this, so I figure I would write in and have you weigh in on it as a person that it's actually healing from your own experiences that led you to seek help in the first place. Yeah, I would say, you know that breathwork massage that I got and learning through masseuse is that the right side of your body holds anger and the left side holds sadness. And if you get like one of these healers working on you, you actually feel these emotions. And the big thing especially I think in generally speaking for men is to not go to your default setting of walling, of blocking out these feelings. It's like you just have to let them happen. And there's all of this shame around so many emotions for men. It's all considered weak, gay, you're a pansy and all of that. And it's, you gotta ignore all of that and just, you know, air quote, make a fool out of yourself. And I'm telling you, man, that second time I went there and I just let it all go like it was life changing for me. And it was like 30 years of therapy and I got on the other side of this shit, dude. And like, you know, I still have anger or whatever, I can still be upset about things, but I don't walk around carrying shit from my past. Like if I'm upset it's because of something that just happened. And even then it now takes a lot to get me angry because I used to just be angry, now I kind of have to get there. And because I'm starting from zero rather than level nine, it just seems foolish to go past a few Levels like I had, you know, the other day, I was clearly wrong about something, and my wife was having a stressful day, so she really, like, laid into me, and I just kept going, all right, yeah, cool. You know, you're right. You're right. Well, why would you say that? Because I'm an idiot. You're right. I'm sorry I did that. And then I apologized again. And I've just learned that, like, you know, when you make somebody that mad, like, there's no point trying to make a point when somebody's angry. No one ever is in the middle of being angry, and then they just stop and go, you know what? I agree with you. But, like, if they're. The next day or two, if you talk about it, you know, they can hear where you're coming from and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. As long as you're both, like, respectful. This is all stuff that I have learned, and I never would have learned it, and I never would have gotten this healing if I was with a robot, because they don't feel anything. They pretend to feel feelings. It's all some sort of up algorithm, I believe. All right, so this guy who's in this field says it's absolutely terrifying. People would rather use a robot for therapy than a human being, which defeats the whole purpose of the process. My journey. Okay, So I figured I would write into you so you could weigh in on it as a person that is actually healing from your own experiences that led you to seek help in the first place. Okay, here we go. This whole thing is just sick to me. People tell me that it's not a good idea to use a fucking bot for help with mental issues. You can reach people more than I can, as you have listeners that will hopefully hear you. Okay, so here's somebody in this field saying that you shouldn't do this. But you know what it is, sir, is they got everybody running on the wheel to pay their rent. And if they can get something not. Not as good, but for free, that's. That's what they're weighing on. And then once they replace all the human therapists, the chat GPT is going to cost you money every fucking month. That's how it works. Like drug dealers. You get. You give away the first hit. The first hit's free. Anyway, this whole thing is just sick to me. Please tell people that it is not a good idea to use a bot for help with mental issues. You can reach people more than I can. As you have listened, okay, this all feels like we are living in A Black Mirror episode. And it just keeps getting more twisted and dark. Take care and stay on your path to recovery. Please do not use chat GPT for anything regarding mental health. Sincerely, Tripping out. And I'm not gonna say where they're from. Ah, well, you started off saying people were having affairs with AI bots. Now I have to look that up. You know something? I think it's good that I don't know what that is. Some things, you know, it's the same reason I never read any of those Epstein files. They're never going to. Those guys have too much money. They can. They own all the judges and all the forms of all the entities that would come after them. They own all of them. Nothing's ever going to happen, so. And I don't want to know what the fuck they did. I don't want that on my hard drive. I just don't. You know what I mean? I know that they did horrible things. I know that there's people that do horrible things. I know that sex trafficking is this massive fucking problem. You know, when somebody starts moving towards a solution for it, I will 100% support it any way that I can. But I don't need to get into the nitty gritty and the gory details of what these fucking people actually did. They did horrific shit to innocent people that were underage. That's all I need to hear. And then I feel that the. The powers that be, that police, that shit, should then go in and cut their fucking balls off in a public square. That's what I think. All right. This is something I've never done on a podcast. I've been a little. Fighting off, like, a cold or something. I went to a bunch of events, and I'm kind of run down. So what I do is I take a little. Or, oregano oil under the tongue, but I usually mix it with water. But sometimes I just want to get. It's gonna burn like a motherfucker. Oh, there it is. Oh. Oh, that sucks. Oh, that sucks. But I'm telling you, it fucking works. It's better than that shit you get at the pharmacies. Whoo. All right. Did that oregano oil, buddy, put that one on your list of shit? I don't know. I have no idea what to mix it with. But I do know if you mix it with water, it sits on top of the water. You got to make sure you spin it around. What? The reason why I just take the straight shot is all the burning is in my throat. If you drink it It's. It gets on, like, your lips and it's just a pain in the ass, and it's not something that I want to deal with. So, anyways, like I said, I don't want to fucking. I don't want to know how people. I love my wife. I'm good. I'm good with my wife. I don't need to know about robots, AI and all of that fucking weirdo shit. Anyway, E bike riders. Hey, Billy. Hey, Bluey. Big Sack Billy. Aussie musician and landscaper living on the Gold coast in Queensland. Recently, I was building a fence for a client and had to pick up some more. Okay, so the burning's already gone away. Just to let you know, it only sucks for like, 30 seconds. Recently, I was building a fence for a client and had to pick up some more materials from Bunnings. Probably similar to your Lowe's, etc. On my way back to the job site, I needed to piss like a dog, like a dog needs a flogging. I needed a piss like a dog needs a flogging. Sorry I messed up that expression. So I stopped at a park that had a public toilet. I was sweating like a whore in church. I love this guy. He's throwing in all the expressions, sweating like a whore in church as it's always fucking hot here. But my back teeth were floating. So I pulled into the public toilet car park, but left my ute running because the air con was fucking mint and I didn't want to turn the car off. So when I got back inside the ute, it would still be as cold as a frog in a frozen pond. I never heard that one. That's another good one. Anyway, as I walked out from the public toilet towards my car still running, there were three teenagers on e bikes parked by my driver's side door talking about stealing my car with the trailer full of materials attached. And one was about to open my driver's door as they obviously heard the motor running and no one in sight. I know I should have turned the ute off and locked the door, but when I pulled up, there was no one anywhere. My bad. Yeah, dude, a rest area. There's always somebody jerking off behind a tree. Anyway, I asked them what they were doing, and the leader said, what are you gonna do about it, old man? I said, touch that door handle and you'll find out. Fuck wit. Nice. Nice old guy. Return. Now, these kids were probably 14 and 15, and there was three of them. I'm 52, about 100 kg, and played rugby league. Jesus, for over 20 years and boxed for a few years. So my old man thinking was, I can take them. But what if you do take them and hurt them as teenagers, which I wouldn't want to do as I'm a single dad with two teenage daughters. But on the other hand, do you just let them take everything you worked hard for? If they pull a knife or something. Teenagers are carrying knives regularly for some fucked up reason. What would Billy Blue Balls? What? What would Billy Blue Balls. I should have that chick in first class do? I don't know what he's referring to. P.S. when you get back to Australia and feel like hitting some skins, we play regularly around Brisbane and Gold coast blues rock originals and covers. And my drummer runs a mint Gretch kit. Nice. Even if it's a jam in a studio without fanfare or a live show. But br. The whole family, man, they'll love it. Go fuck yourself, cunt ox. What should you have done? I don't know. Not get stabbed. Not get stabbed in the gut and spend the rest of your life with a colostomy bag because you fucking tried to save a push mower and a rake, whatever the you had in the back. Yeah. Life is not an action movie. Bad guys don't miss in real life. In the movies, they miss. They have a Uzi and they just can't seem to kill the good guy. But like, in real life, good guy gets killed a lot, you know, and then all of a sudden, they name a rest area after you. I don't know. Yeah, I. I can't tell. Did they take your. Listen, I don't give a what they did. The fact that you didn't get hurt is all that matters. And next time, you know, you'll shut off the car and lock the door and do whatever the fuck it is you need to do. I don't know. But like. Like, what were they gonna do with their E bikes, though? You're gonna take my truck, I'm gonna take your E bikes. I don't know. Your shit looks a lot more fun than my shit. My shit's like real life. You're out here zooming around in a fantasy. I don't know. That was. That was a pretty easy one. I'm not gonna lie to you. I'm glad that it didn't escalate. It's just never a good thing. And there's also. I don't. There's nobody in law enforcement that would tell you to engage in the fight for the simple fact that they see the results of it. And they know how quickly it can go sideways and how quickly an innocent person can be gravely or irreparably. Irreparably. Irreversibly. Fucking. That's the word. Injured. Yeah. You don't want to get any sort of stabbing in your abdomen where your intestines are. That's just colostomy bag time. And it's painful as hell. And as you heal, you're susceptible to infection. It is a motherfucker to get shot or stabbed in your gut. You don't need that. And that's what usually happens for whatever reason. All right, so anyways, that's the goddamn podcast, everybody. Thank you so much for listening. And yeah, and that's it. Yeah, don't with robots. Hang with human beings. You know, try to be nice to each other. Remember that it's the United States. And know that as you've been watching over the years of this country destabilizing other countries, and we sat back and did nothing about it. I don't know how we could have stopped it, but we didn't do anything about it. Like I said, eventually, whatever they're doing to other people, they're going to do to us or they'll do to you or whatever. And I feel like that's what they're doing here. But you don't have to buy into it, you know, if you're in California, find a reason to like Arkansas. You know, if you're in Georgia, try to find a reason to like New York and vice versa. Same teams, guys. We're all in the same fucking tapes. And if we could stop yelling at each other, there's way more of us than there are them. And we could just be like, yeah, we don't want to do this. No, we're not doing this. And you could just do it in a nice non violent fucking way and then don't listen to them. Don't listen to when they start pointing and start bringing fear. Anytime anybody has to use fear to sell you something, it, it's, it's bullshit. You know what I mean? You walk into a fucking Porsche dealership, they know what they got. They don't have to fucking sit there and tell you they got another guy coming down to look at it in 20 minutes. They know what they got. They got a fucking Porsche. You go into some shit box thing and they, they'll do all of that. I don't know. You better make a move. I got another guy coming in. You know, they do that shit right there, right there. That's okay. That's a good. That's a good thing to look out for. Anyway. All right, that's the podcast. Go fuck yourselves and I'll check in on you on Thursday. Enjoy the games. I'll see you why does Progressive work hard for truckers? Because truckers unite the world. They unite kids with their first drum sets and parents with earplugs. But truckers can't do this if they're not on the road. That's why Progressive has over 360 heavy truck employees to help truckers stay on time and on track. Quote Truck Insurance today in as little as 8 minutes@progressive commercial.com progressive casualty insurance company and affiliates for a small business owner, every day is full of surprises. Some great, some not so great, like when a client cancels their order at the last minute. But here's a surprise you will like. Progressive provides small business owners with 30 customizable coverage options to help keep their business going strong. So go ahead, surprise yourself. Get a quote in as little as 8 minutes@progressivecommercial.com Progressive Casualty Insurance Company and affiliates and third party insurers. Coverage is not available in all states or for all vehicles and coverage selections.
In this episode, Bill Burr does his trademark riffing on the state of relationships (with a nod to the bizarre world of AI affairs), the ever-present annoyance of modern technology, recent happenings in sports (both NBA and NHL playoffs), epic jazz shows, observations on social trends, and the uneasy state of current affairs—including a warning about everyone falling for "Gestapo shit." Burr’s humor and social critique flow seamlessly as he mixes deeply personal moments with world-weary observations.
MotoGP: Bill shares excitement and disappointment after catching the end of the MotoGP race, breaking down the results and expressing awe at the Italian GP's fast straightaways.
"They were talking about him coming back and then making a contest out of this thing... I just don't see him coming back from that. He's running away with it here—or riding away, would you say?" (04:35)
NBA Playoffs: Burr recaps the San Antonio Spurs’ Game 6 and 7 wins over the Oklahoma City Thunder, jokes about future team names referencing ecological disasters, and predicts media bias if the Knicks win:
"If the Knicks win it, they will talk about it for three months straight and will say things like, you know, are the Knicks the new Celtics and Lakers?" (18:55)
NHL Playoffs: Congratulates the Carolina Hurricanes for their comeback against Montreal, noting the “curse of Patrick Roy continues.” He comments on the growth of Montreal’s team and sets up excitement for the finals.
General Sports Observations:
"It's un-fucking-real. Like, they just make shit ... all they give a fuck about is the money." (08:10)
"All our houses are going to be bugged like we're John Gotti." (09:00)
"All the elections will be rigged. They're all rigged. I hope you guys like this guy that's in office because he's never going to fucking leave." (09:55)
"Whatever the fuck the upper 1% is doing to nonwhite people, they're eventually going to do to your fucking Caucasian ass." (11:40)
Blue Note Jazz Club: Bill recounts seeing Chris “Daddy” Dave’s Trio at the new LA Blue Note, marveling at the musicianship, especially drummer Chris Dave and guitarist Isaiah Sharkey.
"They were otherworldly. How about that? And I never say any of that stuff." (13:45)
Musical Analysis: Breaks down drumming techniques he observed, still in awe days later:
"The most impressive thing was... there was space for everybody to do what they were doing. It was like just musicianship at such a high level." (15:30)
Parenting Anecdotes: Bill shares a slice-of-life family story—spending the day with his kids, managing constant requests while cleaning the garage, and a humorous reflection on learning to sew (or forgetting he once knew how):
"I've allowed today's society to make me forget that I actually know how to sew. Actually, I used to know how to sew." (27:40) "Dad, dad, dad!—that's all I hear all day long." (25:45)
The Evolution of Social Platforms: Burr teases about new social media platforms and wonders aloud if anyone will ever design one that's intentionally kind:
"Do you think they'll ever be, like, a nice, empathetic person that starts social media? And would we even like it at this point?" (32:20)
Comedy and Boundaries: Debunks the notion that offensive comedy was more accepted back in the day, and bemoans modern meanness online:
"We're just so unnecessarily mean to one another, and it's not good-natured ... I'm kind of trying to make you feel as bad as possible." (35:55)
"You wanna blow your wife's or girlfriend's mind as a man? Walk up to them and say, 'I need help. I'm struggling emotionally.' And they will be so happy that you say that. Rather than take your day out on them or be all moody..." (41:55)
"What the fuck is happening to people?... Working in mental health has become a crazy thing. Navigating this whole new world of AI and bots and people using ChatGPT for therapy. Yeah—why the fuck would you talk—I mean, because you can't afford it, that's why." (43:30)
"I never would have learned it, and I never would have gotten this healing if I was with a robot, because they don't feel anything. They pretend to feel feelings." (46:10)
"The hardest muscle to fucking work out for me is, is that muscle between your shoulder blades... that's the fucker that you need to be strong." (22:10) Offers tips: using resistance bands ("like Jesus, like, oh, I died for your sins!").
"Life is not an action movie. Bad guys don't miss in real life. In the movies, they miss... in real life, good guy gets killed a lot." (1:15:50)
Bill's signature style weaves hard truths with biting humor and raw self-reflection. He warns against complacency in politics and technology, advocates for genuine human connection (especially in mental health), and delivers unexpected sweetness in discussing his family. The world is weird and often unsettling, but Burr’s underlying message is to stay empathetic, don’t trust anyone using fear to sell you something, and remember: "Don’t fuck with robots—hang with human beings. Try to be nice to each other."
For more, catch Bill’s hour around LA, stay tuned for NBA/NHL Finals talk, and—of course—go fuck yourselves.