Bob Odenkirk | Thursday Afternoon Monday Morning Podcast 4-16-26

Summary

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Monday Morning Podcast: Bob Odenkirk | Thursday Afternoon Monday Morning Podcast 4-16-26

Host: Bill Burr (All Things Comedy)
Date: April 16, 2026
Guest(s): Bob Odenkirk, Michael Koman
Main Theme:
An energetic, sprawling conversation between Bill Burr, Bob Odenkirk, and writer/producer Michael Koman, covering comedy, acting, Hollywood, the evolution of podcasts, behind-the-scenes stories, and Odenkirk’s new action movie, "Normal." Burr's trademark rants pop up throughout, targeting everything from showbiz and airlines to taxes, guns, and relationships. Filled with comic asides, real industry insight, and moments of heartfelt camaraderie, the episode jumps fluidly between deep dives and hilarious tangents.

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Episode Highlights & Key Discussion Points

1. The Evolution of Podcasting & Comedy in TV

• Beginnings in Podcasting:
  • Bill reminisces about starting his podcast “before people figured out the smart way to do it” ([00:55]) and celebrates keeping a "mom and pop" feel despite the rise in production value and big-money deals.
• TV's Obsession with Standup Comics:
  • The group recalls the sitcom boom of the '90s, where standup comics were mined for TV shows post-"Seinfeld" ([02:35]).
  • Michael Koman discusses misfires when “they just plucked you out of a comedy club,” and Bill jokes about industry bias:

    “He’s funny, but he has a weird look.” ([04:11], Bill Burr, citing network executive on redheaded leads)

• On Ray Romano:
  • All agree Ray was underrated as a dramatic actor.

    “I’ve seen him in things that weren’t good, but he’s still good.” ([05:14], Bill Burr)

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2. Bad Movies, Acting Lessons & The Cult of ‘So Bad It’s Good’

• Odenkirk’s Charity Remake of “The Room”:
  • “I would like to try to make it work... to take a terrible dialogue done exactly as written.” ([05:40], Michael Koman)
• What Makes Bad Movies Lovable:
  • Koman theorizes:

    “No matter how off it is, your brain and your heart are like, 'I know what he wants me to think.'” ([07:14])

  • Bill & Michael riff on “The Room”’s infamous awkwardness, sharing YouTube memories and laughing about weird, failed horror films ([07:50]).
• Editing Woes:
  • On every film's rough first assembly:

    "The first… When you go to assemble it, it looks like the worst movie ever." ([08:29], Bill Burr) “You cut them together and it’s just the worst. It’s garbage… and it’s sad.” ([08:58], Michael Koman)

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3. Behind-the-Scenes: “Normal” and Broadway Tales

• Bob's New Movie “Normal”:
  • Written by Derek Kolstad (John Wick), “Normal” is “a double-barreled shotgun blast of pure mayhem” where Odenkirk plays a temporary sheriff in a town full of secrets ([11:31], [24:29]).
  • Odenkirk explains his emphasis on character over pure action:

    “I have to play a person… not just sell the action.” ([12:06], Bob Odenkirk)

• Broadway Recollections – Glengarry Glen Ross:
  • Warm stories about working together and serious actor anxiety (“I was so off balance doing that thing…” ([12:35], Bob Odenkirk))
  • Bill admits being starstruck by Michael McKean:

    “The hardest part… was sitting across from him and not getting out of my head going, that’s fucking Michael McKean…” ([15:33])

  • On supporting each other:

    “He literally fed me my line… that's what a great partner does.” ([16:18], Bill Burr)

  • Memorable moment: The cast trying to make each other laugh on stage and "going into the white room" (forgetting lines) ([16:52]).

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4. Standup, Process & Presence

• How Burr Writes & Performs:
  • Bill doesn’t script acts; he keeps a list of topics and riff live, inspired by audience or moment:

    “What I want to be is not thinking anything… just present.” ([32:34]) “Some nights you literally do your act backwards.” ([33:36])

  • He compares it to every person’s “getting arrested” or “heartbroken” story—well-worn, instinctual, not memorized.
• On Standup Influences:
  • Praising Lavelle Crawford (“He thinks in bits... funny before, during, and after the show.” [34:51]).
• On Breaking Bad:
  • Burr learned not to force toughness or dominance in a scene, especially standing next to “muscle” like Lavelle:

    “It made me do a different choice… I learned that.” ([36:07])

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5. Hollywood, Action Flicks, and Old School Vibes

• “Normal”’s Throwback Appeal:
  • Odenkirk hypes the film’s old-school, non-corporate, over-the-top action feel ([39:13]):

    “It’s just trying to be an awesome little story that just entertains its audience. Yeah.” ([45:55], Michael Koman)

  • The film takes wild tonal shifts—"crazy, even becomes like a horror film" ([39:29]), directed by Ben Wheatley.
• Movie Night:
  • The hosts plan to watch “Blazing Magnum,” a Canadian Dirty Harry-type flick with wild scenes (“blind woman walking toward an open, floor-to-ceiling window on a skyscraper” ([43:45], Bill Burr)).
  • Odenkirk and Koman nerd out on vintage TV and movie culture, admiring the authenticity of older works like "Then Came Bronson," and the desire for escapism in response to today's news-media fatigue ([42:14]).

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6. Classic Bill Burr Rants & Listener Interactions

• Riffing on Past Jobs & Showbiz vs. Real Work
  • Bill on the exhaustion of physical labor vs. showbiz:

    “Was it worse than being on a roof in July as a redhead?” ([20:21])

• Taxes, War, and The Rich [53:27+]
  • Bill (in mock outrage):

    “How did you make more off my gig than I did?... Let me give it to you, you rich cunt. What are you gonna spend it on, you haberdash and douchebag?” ([53:27], [53:46])

• Rant on Surveillance/Ads/Algorithms
  • “The only thing creepier than that to me is people like, 'What do I care?'... as a human being, that doesn’t freak you out?” ([55:35], Bill Burr)
• Gun Control & Rural Realities
  • Letter from a cheese farmer explaining why he needs an AR-15 to fight off coyote packs ([95:24]):

    “All you Hollywood liberals… if you stole their yoga mat, I bet every one would get a fucking AR-15, but they’d put pink bullets in it.” ([101:14], Bill Burr)

• Relationship, Roommate, and Neighbor Advice
  • Classic advice to listeners for their everyday issues:
    • Venmo scam (“Hey lady, either you’re gonna fuck me or I’m gonna get my $300 back… clever but a piece of shit move.” [106:09])
    • Don't be a "rat" on a weed-smoking roommate ([110:10])
    • Handling a neighbor who drunkenly drove through his fence ([111:49]):

      "The tree can’t sue you, it’s got to stay there as the victim!"

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7. Pop Culture, Sports, and Final Riffs

• Sports Updates:
  • Boston Bruins and Celtics playoff situations, injuries, and player pronunciation tangents ([80:27])
• Bill’s Vice-Free Challenge:
  • Confessions about nearly staying sober for a month, "giving in to peer pressure" from his wife to smoke weed, and the lessons learned ([89:09])
• Podcast/Album Plug:
  • Bill launches a special vinyl collection of classic podcast ad reads ([21:25])
• Hilarious “Open Kimono” Anecdote:
  • Corporate speech gone wrong:

    “All you could just picture was his hairy fucking junk…” ([47:42], Bill Burr)

• Heartfelt Wrap-Up:
  • The episode closes as Bill affirms his admiration for Odenkirk, urging listeners to go see "Normal", and briefly returns to crowd interaction and CST sports ([52:14]).

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Notable Quotes

• Bill Burr on Podcasting:

  "What I like about my little mom and pop store is I haven’t really changed it. I was a shithead in the 2000s when I did it last decade, and now the production value with the guests has gone up." ([01:00])

• Michael Koman on Why Audiences Love Podcasts:

  "You’re just right there with the people and they’re just talking to each other and you’re part of their conversation. It’s intimate." ([02:13])

• Bill Burr on Industry Prejudice:

  “He’s funny, but he has a weird look.” (= redheaded men don’t get leads) ([04:11])

• Bob Odenkirk on Acting:

  “When you, as an actor, can be good in something that isn’t working… that’s the benchmark.” ([05:14])

• Michael Koman's Theory on "The Room" and Bad Movies:

  “No matter how off it is, your brain and your heart is like, I know what he wants me to think…It keeps you engaged.” ([07:14])

• Bill Burr on Standup:

  “What I want to be is not thinking anything…just present.” ([32:34])

• Odenkirk on "Normal":

  “He’s supposed to be here for a few weeks and leave and just don’t cause trouble, right? So then shit goes off because of deus ex machina, hand of God…[then] it goes to the craziest place and the violence gets intense and insane.” ([38:44], [39:10])

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Important Timestamps

• 00:02 – 03:06: Podcasting origins, sitcom TV boom, and industry reflections
• 05:06 – 07:50: Ray Romano, acting in bad movies, cult classics
• 11:31 – 16:52: Broadway stories, “Glengarry Glen Ross,” onstage anxiety
• 21:25 – 24:29: Vinyl collection plug, “Normal” synopsis
• 31:30 – 33:36: Standup technique, riffing, improvising onstage
• 34:43 – 36:31: Lavelle Crawford, acting choices in Breaking Bad
• 39:10 – 45:55: “Normal” movie details, love for old-school action
• 53:27 – 57:14: Showbiz vs. day jobs, tax frustrations, government criticism
• 95:24 – 101:26: Listener mails: gun control, Venmo scams, neighbor woes
• 110:10+: Relationship/weed roommate, neighbor advice, life wrap-up

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Episode Tone & Takeaways

Bill Burr’s Monday Morning Podcast keeps its unfiltered, funny, and honest vibe, jumping from inside-industry tales to rants about life’s absurdities. Bob Odenkirk brings sharp wit and humility, while Michael Koman’s commentary adds a writer’s savvy. The chemistry is authentic and generous, bridging comedy nerds and fans of real-life stories alike.

Listener Value:
Non-listeners will come away with a taste of Hollywood’s backstage, practical wisdom on showbiz & writing, laugh-out-loud asides, and a strong sense of why Odenkirk’s new movie is a must-see. The episode is equal parts reminiscence, craft talk, and caustic fun—classic Monday Morning Podcast.

Transcript

[Bill Burr]

Hey, what's going on? It's Bill Burr. It's time for the Thursday afternoon, just before Friday Monday morning podcast. And I'm just checking in on you. Obviously, this is being filmed, which means we have a very special guest. One of my favorite stand up comics, one of my favorite actors, one of my favorite people. I got to do a play with him. He was absolutely incredible. He has a new movie coming out, normal, that is coming out this Friday. The one and only Mr. Bob Odenkirk.

[Bob Odenkirk]

Is this live, Bill?

[Bill Burr]

No, it is not live.

[Bob Odenkirk]

No.

[Michael Koman]

Cool, man.

[Bill Burr]

Do you want me to cut any of that out of the intro? Was that.

[Michael Koman]

No, no, it's all great. I just was double triple checking because it's his Monday morning podcast. People don't usually put a day on their thing because they wanted to live in this world of just like. When did that happen? Did that just happen for years? People aren't sure. Did I miss that? Are they?

[Bill Burr]

Oh, I've been podcasting before. People figured out the smart way to do it.

[Michael Koman]

Oh, yeah.

[Bill Burr]

And what I like about my little mom and pop store in the podcasting world is I haven't really changed it.

[Michael Koman]

Yeah.

[Bill Burr]

I was a shithead in the 2000s when I did it last decade, and now the production value with the guests has gone up.

[Michael Koman]

Oh, yeah.

[Bill Burr]

But I still just do it in my office.

[Michael Koman]

Yeah.

[Bill Burr]

With a little microphone on the thing. I never did the whole, you know.

[Michael Koman]

Oh, yeah, yeah. You never, like, tried to build it out into like.

[Bill Burr]

Well, I didn't get in this business to work in this business because I had jobs.

[Michael Koman]

Right.

[Bill Burr]

I. I was. I was in the real world. It's hard. Working is hard, but like, screwing around.

[Michael Koman]

Yeah.

[Bill Burr]

Yeah, I figured.

[Michael Koman]

It's crazy. What. How this big this has become. I think people need it. You know, my son wrote a TV show and. And it's just a family sitting around sort of bothering each other. That's all it is. They never leave the living room. And it's brilliant.

[Bob Odenkirk]

Oh, that's.

[Michael Koman]

And everybody who's reading it is really loving it. And I said today. Cause we were talking to a production company that wants to help us make it happen. And I said. I hesitated to say this, but I was like, it's kind of like a podcast. And they were like, it is.

[Bob Odenkirk]

It is.

[Michael Koman]

Yeah. Because you're just like right there with the people and they're just talking to each other and you're like part of their conversation. It's like intimate and like, that's not what they think. No, but why do People love this so much because I love it too. I love podcasts. I'm popping into Conan's all the time and yours and just all of them.

[Bill Burr]

Well, those people that you were talking to love it because of the idea of the money.

[Michael Koman]

Cause it's. Well.

[Bill Burr]

Cause, you know, the guys at the top got like $100 million deals. So it was kind of like when we doing standup in the 90s when. When after like Cosby Roseanne and then Seinfeld went to syndication, and then Ray and Kevin James had that show. They just, you know, talk about your family. They gotta see the show. So, like, they were all like, the dream became get a comedian that can get on a sitcom. And it goes.

[Michael Koman]

It was so crazy. Do you remember all those? I don't even want to name them, but there were so many misfires because

[Bill Burr]

it was just like, yeah, Odenkirk on ab. I didn't have the name.

[Michael Koman]

What would they do with my family? What would they do? They'd say, your wife is Jewish, so your kids are gonna go to a Jewish school song.

[Bill Burr]

You're a knock around guy from Chicago.

[Michael Koman]

Or what would they do? They say, yeah, like you're a comedy writer. Hey, it's Dick Van Dyke show, you know? Yeah.

[Bill Burr]

So now.

[Michael Koman]

And crazy shit happens because you got comedy people coming over all the time. Your comedy friends are your pals, the people you're.

[Bill Burr]

But you're starting to try to progress because now you're married and they're still single. So your wife, as much as she likes those.

[Michael Koman]

And what would yours be?

[Bill Burr]

Oh, mine? I. Dude, I tried. I did that. I did the industry showcases too. What did you go on at that? Oh, I tucked my shirt in and looked like I was ready to do Star Search. And they just. I remember this one lady said, he's funny, but he has a weird look. And that was code for redheaded males are not the lead in anything. It was like an unwritten rule.

[Michael Koman]

So my wife actually did this. She's a manager now and a producer now, but she was young. She was scouting talent for exactly what we're talking about. And she was working for some producers. She saw Ray Romano. She said, you gotta see this guy. He's great. I mean, he's built for this world. And they saw him and said that he's got a weird voice. Won't work.

[Bill Burr]

Yeah, no, that's what they. You know what I love about Ray, too? Ray is like, he's as good an actor as he is a comedian.

[Michael Koman]

Yeah, yeah.

[Bill Burr]

And just watching him Go in from. You know. Cause they would just pluck you out of a comedy club, and all of a sudden, you know, you're with all these seasoned actors and stuff, and you watch them go from the first season of that to all of a sudden. Remember that show Vinyl?

[Bob Odenkirk]

He was great on that.

[Bill Burr]

Men of a certain age. And he had this whole other, like. Like, dramatic side.

[Bob Odenkirk]

I'm actually.

[Bill Burr]

I'm not going to name things, but I've seen him in things that weren't good, but he's still good. Which I think is like the sort of the benchmark of, like, when you, as an actor can be good in something that isn't working.

[Michael Koman]

Yeah, Well, I. You know that movie, that famously bad movie, the Room?

[Bill Burr]

No.

[Michael Koman]

You know it.

[Bill Burr]

Oh, oh, oh, oh, that guy, like, terrible. Oh, the guy with the weird accent, Right?

[Michael Koman]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Bill Burr]

Oh, yeah. So they asked, oh, hi, Mark.

[Michael Koman]

Yeah. So they asked me to do it as a charity, make the film. And any money they make, I go to this actor's, you know, whatever, hospice home or whatever. I said, sure, I'd love a shot at it, because I would like to try to make it work. I would like a shot at this terrible dialogue done exactly as written, including all his weird laughs. Because he laughs all the time when he plays the character. He does this odd, strange, kind of, like, neutralized, like, laugh.

[Bill Burr]

You guys who don't know, it's. It's all. It's all cut up on YouTube. It's one of the classic terrible. It's so bad. It's good. Yeah. Sit and watch.

[Michael Koman]

Yeah. And so we did a run at it. I don't know if it'll ever see the light of day. But I. I really tried. I, like, tried to come up with the logic. A lot of times what it is, is you have to take a. A lot of thinking moments because his character would say things that didn't connect from one thought to the next.

[Bill Burr]

No.

[Michael Koman]

So if you put thinking in between those two. Gosh, I'm. Gosh, I'm tired. Oh, I love you, Lisa.

[Bob Odenkirk]

Yeah.

[Michael Koman]

But if you put a big moment in there. God, I'm tired. I love you, Lisa. And you just take a moment to get to that other thought, get to that other emotion. You know, maybe you can make it work, but you can't really. But I was.

[Bill Burr]

No, but, you know, it'd be funny because that guy's taken so much shit who made it. But then if you actually prove that he did in fact, actually have a good movie on his hands, it's just. He was the problem.

[Michael Koman]

Well, my theory is that the reason people like watching, because there's lots of bad movies in the world. You can find tons of terribly written, terribly performed things. But the reason it's so fun to watch is because no matter how off it is, your brain and your heart is like, I know what he wants me to think. I know what he thinks he's doing. It's right there. He thinks he's the hero in this moment. He thinks he's selling me this. You can feel it. It's right under the surface. And so it keeps you engaged. That's my theory.

[Bill Burr]

Yeah. There's a horror movie that I've seen clips of, and it's one of the great awful shots.

[Michael Koman]

Yeah.

[Bill Burr]

And I can't. I can't remember what the dialogue is, but it's like. And then you're gonna come and you're gonna kill everybody else. And they, like, zoom in on his mouth, like, ah. Because he wants the crowd to be thinking, like, yeah, right, right.

[Michael Koman]

It's. When it's work, it's fun when it's. Whether it's. You could say it's close enough or whether the intention is good, palpable enough that you. You're. You know, what's. You know, how far short it's falling. Right. It's not fun if you can't feel it.

[Bill Burr]

But every movie. What some people don't know every movie, the first. When you first go to assemble it, it looks like the worst movie ever. And then you just have to keep going and going and going.

[Michael Koman]

It's the worst feeling in the world. It's always the worst because you cut the scenes together and those kind of work, and you're like, I think we got, oh, might be Godfather 2 here. I gotta say, I've only seen five scenes, but they're all great. And then you cut them together and it's just the worst.

[Bill Burr]

Yeah.

[Michael Koman]

It's garbage because nothing. It doesn't flow at all. And it's, like, sad. It's really a bummer. Worse is when. Worse. The worst thing is when the director calls you from editing and they go, it's. It's really good. I'm sorry, I can't say it. It's really good. And then you go in and you're like, oh, what are we gonna do now? Because he thinks it's good and it ain't good.

[Bill Burr]

No, but I haven't had too many problems with that. But is he just saying that?

[Bob Odenkirk]

I remember.

[Michael Koman]

No, because they're excited it's because it's a weird thing of, like. Man, those images really took to the film. Like, the film camera really captured my face and my. It's like they're so excited about just the notion that we shot it. Now you can watch it. Can you believe it?

[Bill Burr]

Yeah.

[Michael Koman]

It's called Movies.

[Bill Burr]

I had a guy one time was making some merch for me for this tour, and I came down to look at it, and it wasn't good. But before I could say anything, he just, like, it was a T shirt. He just puts it down. He goes, yeah. Huh? Rad. Right? Sick. And he was doing that and like, he just. He pushed it so far that way. No, that I'm trying to. No, no. I mean, you. You put the things on the T shirt that I wanted, but the way it's just.

[Michael Koman]

No, no, it's rad.

[Bill Burr]

Yeah.

[Bob Odenkirk]

Huh? Killer Kill.

[Bill Burr]

Whoa. He's, like, commenting on his own shit. It was really. It was very bizarre and it was. That was.

[Michael Koman]

Yeah.

[Bill Burr]

Very eggshell. Trying to get him to get it where it needed to be.

[Bob Odenkirk]

We got there.

[Bill Burr]

But I think when people do that, they're like. They're insecure. And I just think from the very beginning, it just looks so bad. That was like the best when I did Efforts for Family and I did that show with Mike Price from the Simpsons, and he was so seasoned, having done all the Simpsons. So the first animatic I saw, like, my jaw was on the ground. And he goes, no, no, no, no, no, no. He goes, it's always this bad. It's when the Simpsons episodes come in, this is how bad it looks. And he's just going, like, just, we're

[Bob Odenkirk]

going to get it there.

[Bill Burr]

Because that's. At that point, it's literally like. Like stick figures. I don't know if you've ever done.

[Michael Koman]

I did. Yeah, I did the Incredibles.

[Bill Burr]

That.

[Michael Koman]

That film. Incredibles too. And you did. It was animatic. Yeah. Rough. For numerous. They. It's amazing how much they change their script. It's unbelievable. They rewrite the whole thing numerous times when they do those Pixar movies. It's crazy.

[Bill Burr]

Well, tell me about this.

[Michael Koman]

Oh, Normal.

[Bill Burr]

This new one that you got a

[Michael Koman]

fun movie coming out. It's crazy. It's bonkers. This guy, Derek Kolstad wrote it. He wrote John Wick. He wrote Nobody. He had the story Bill, and he showed me a couple stories. And he writes action films. He loves action films. And so his stories tend to be like, shit just happens. It just starts. It's just like, action starts and it just gets bigger and bigger the whole way. And like, that's a lot of action movies. I mean, that's.

[Bill Burr]

I grew up on.

[Michael Koman]

That's what they should be. But not for me, because I don't really think I'm selling the action. I mean, I do ultimately sell the action when I get to it, but I have to do the character. I mean, I have to play a person and you have to kind of be, why are you smiling?

[Bill Burr]

It's got to be. No, because I, I miss working with you.

[Michael Koman]

And.

[Bill Burr]

And so, because I miss working with you because I watched you do like, I got. People saw you on stage, but I got to watch you from day one in the rehearsals doing Shelley Levine.

[Michael Koman]

You know, Bill, I was so off balance doing that thing when we started. It took me weeks to feel confident. And you helped me a lot. Kieran helped me a lot. Oh, you got.

[Bill Burr]

Kieran's comp guys were great.

[Michael Koman]

Was, like, kind of amazing. Like his, like, pushback on the direction and the variety of.

[Bill Burr]

I just remember going, like, we need you off book by Friday. It's like, it's not gonna happen. Cause he was in the middle, about to win an Oscar. He was on the promotion. He's like, yeah, I'm not gonna be.

[Michael Koman]

Yeah, yeah.

[Bill Burr]

And like, what are you gonna say at that point? It's just like, this kid's about ready to win an Oscar. I think he knows what he's doing. We're still a month out, we'll be fine.

[Michael Koman]

But his work.

[Bill Burr]

But that was also like, that shouldn't have been like a public conversation in front of all of us.

[Michael Koman]

But I'd say about week three, Pull them aside. When I saw you, when you did that thing where you impersonated the director,

[Bill Burr]

always when he, when he went like that.

[Michael Koman]

Oh, yeah, Big turning point for me because I was like, you and I went, you. You and I entered into that thing kind of the same. We were both like, hey, man, I don't know. Broadway. Kind of don't know if I belong here at all. But I'm just gonna do my best and I'm gonna listen to you. I'm gonna be open minded. I'm gonna give it everything I got. Very humble, really. But when you got pushed to that point and you just started being stupid and pushing back, I was like, I think maybe Bill's right here. I think we gotta hold our ground and just know what we know.

[Bill Burr]

No, but Patrick, the director, he did stand up, so I knew he could handle break. And he Broke my balls and everything. I love that guy.

[Michael Koman]

Yeah.

[Bill Burr]

Because he. He was.

[Michael Koman]

Yeah.

[Bill Burr]

You know, I don't know. We were dragging ass one day and he called us on it.

[Michael Koman]

Yeah. Yeah. You know, he's doing it again in London.

[Bill Burr]

He's doing what, Glengarry?

[Michael Koman]

Yeah.

[Bill Burr]

Oh, wow.

[Michael Koman]

Like, he's like. He planned. Just like he planned. Remember the plan to do. I don't know if I should say it, because I don't want to give away his cool thing, so.

[Bill Burr]

No, we can. We can cut that part out.

[Michael Koman]

No, no, you can leave that in, but I won't go further. Anyhow, it was. It was. I was really off balance, and it took me a while to find my. My confidence on that stage. But I love that. I love that I had a great part in that play. I had a lot of wiggle, didn't I?

[Bill Burr]

Was my favorite thing.

[Michael Koman]

You were fucking great, Bill. I love when you said it was wr.

[Bill Burr]

That's what I'm saying. That is the funniest ever.

[Michael Koman]

That's what I'm saying, you know? God damn.

[Bill Burr]

He was taking away the glory of your sale. That's what I'm saying. You like some of the lines in that?

[Michael Koman]

Yeah, and great lines.

[Bill Burr]

And then I got to do my opening scene with Michael McKeon, and, like,

[Michael Koman]

that scene, man, nothing.

[Bill Burr]

The hardest part about that scene for the first few weeks is sitting across from him and not getting out of my head going, that's fucking Michael McKean.

[Bob Odenkirk]

I was like, oh, shit.

[Bill Burr]

And then I would. I would be. I would find myself watching him going, like, God, look at.

[Bob Odenkirk]

Look.

[Michael Koman]

Oh, man.

[Bill Burr]

I love that he just did that. And I'm like, oh, fuck, it's my line.

[Michael Koman]

Yeah, yeah.

[Bill Burr]

No, he saved me. I've told this story before on the podcast, but the funniest time, he saved me. They call it going into the white room when you can't remember your lines. And I don't. I don't. I just got. I got turned around because there was this thing I always said it was. It was two donuts in the parking lot. And then you left.

[Michael Koman]

Right.

[Bill Burr]

It's sort of like, you know, they killed the goose. I go into that twice. So I would get. Which one am I doing right now? Did I already say it?

[Michael Koman]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Bill Burr]

So I got lost in that. And coming up, I had this line. I can't remember the lines anymore. It was, yeah, in something, whatever. And I go. It gets me depressed at my age to see a goddamn someone wins the Cadillac this month. PS2 guys are getting so I couldn't remember where the I was. And we were just improving back and forth. And then Michael Fine looks at me and he goes, does it make you depressed? Like, he literally. He literally fed me my line. And I'm like, yeah, my age. To see a goddamn. I was like, oh, my God.

[Michael Koman]

But that's what a great partner does.

[Bill Burr]

Yeah. And we laughed. We fucking laughed. The whole elevator ride that. Like, we didn't even have to talk about it. Like, we walked off stage, you know, thing went black and we were already laughing. And we got in the elevator and we just laughed the whole way down. And I was saying, I'm sorry.

[Bob Odenkirk]

He goes, nah, man, it happens.

[Bill Burr]

It happens.

[Michael Koman]

It was just like, people saved me. I can't remember what it was, but you guys would save me here, there. That opening scene, I was kind of. That was difficult, but. But we save each other when you're in those shows. And the great thing about Mamet is he repeats stuff so much that the audience cannot tell that you got lost. They can't tell.

[Bill Burr]

I know, but it's that repeating that gets you.

[Michael Koman]

That gets you lost. But at the same time, you can't go wrong if you just say. You probably hit on the word.

[Bill Burr]

You know, it's funny, when we were doing it, I was like, jesus Christ. Like, this is like. This is like going on for a long time or whatever. Now it just feels like it was like a blip. And I feel like it took me like four months to finally look back on it. I felt like, because I really learned doing that play why you get two days off a week? Cause the first day is just decompressing and then the second day is relaxing and then you go back to work. But all you did was you decompressed for one day and you went right back into it. And you went right back into it.

[Michael Koman]

Right into it. You didn't have a. Enjoy that decompression.

[Bill Burr]

And I used to love how they would try to do the math. Yeah, well, you get off at like 10 o' clock Saturday, and then you don't have to come back till 7 on Monday, which wasn't true. You had to come back 6:30. It's just like. So that's kind of like two days off. It's like. No, it isn't. Day off is. I'm not working today.

[Michael Koman]

Yeah, yeah. And yeah, yeah, it's rough. It's. It's a tough schedule.

[Bill Burr]

It's mentally.

[Bob Odenkirk]

I.

[Bill Burr]

But I would still take it over, like, you know, some of the. All the physical jobs that especially my age now, but like, landscaping. I was a grunt on construction sites or whatever. Even just like, you know, washing dishes in a restaurant. Like when you got to clean the grease trap. Dude, that's just something you will never. Just makes you gag even thinking about it. Like, so that's what I always think about when.

[Bob Odenkirk]

Whenever I'm.

[Bill Burr]

I'm in one of these stupid showbiz, like, you know, grinding your brain down thing.

[Michael Koman]

You sent too small a car for me. This car?

[Bill Burr]

No, my.

[Michael Koman]

I was in first class the other day because I'm doing this promo tour and, you know, I don't buy a first class ticket for myself. My wife would never allow it. And the.

[Bill Burr]

You got it. You got to treat yourself.

[Michael Koman]

No, no, no. It's that important. You get in a. Get in a metal tube and you get out two hours later and you're in where you want to be.

[Bill Burr]

No, dude. I remember one time I was flying and there was a guy, a huge dude, and he had the middle seat and he was trying to be less huge, and it was like this. And like his.

[Michael Koman]

That's nice.

[Bill Burr]

His lat.

[Michael Koman]

Yeah, right.

[Bill Burr]

The joke. I think I did it on Kona. I was sitting next to him and behind him at the same time. Like, I had to be like, out in the aisle.

[Michael Koman]

Yeah.

[Bill Burr]

And it's just. Yeah, I can't. I can't do that anymore. But all first class is they treat you like a human being.

[Michael Koman]

Right.

[Bill Burr]

It's not. There's nothing else going on up there.

[Michael Koman]

Yeah.

[Bill Burr]

They give you a seat you can actually fit in.

[Michael Koman]

Yeah, right, right.

[Bill Burr]

They bring you some water. You know, it's kind of.

[Michael Koman]

But yeah, sometimes we get a little pampered and we got to remember what it's like to really have a job, to really work.

[Bill Burr]

That's what I do. I just think, like, okay, as much as this is grinding me down, was it worse than being on a roof in July as a redhead? There was just like, dude, I remember when I had that job, I could not consume enough calories. I was just eating sandwiches and sandwiches and sandwiches. I was starving.

[Michael Koman]

How long were you a roofer?

[Bill Burr]

Lasted eight days, dude.

[Michael Koman]

Yeah.

[Bill Burr]

Yeah, eight days. But one of the things reason why I'm successful is I know what I'm not good at. And it was like, I'm smart enough that if you taught me construction, eventually I would learn. But I didn't have a gift, you

[Bob Odenkirk]

know what I mean?

[Bill Burr]

And I played drums for a little bit, and I would go to the music store and I would just see Some five, six year old kid who I could play, I could play drums better, but they were already expressing themselves and I'm like, that's what the gift looks like. I don't have that. I'm like, I'm a music fan.

[Michael Koman]

Yeah.

[Bill Burr]

And then when I did stand up, you know, I obviously learned from people, but that was the first time I did something just felt right. Yeah. Where I felt like I could just kind of go off. Like if you were drawn, you could just sort of doodle and eventually.

[Michael Koman]

Yeah.

[Bill Burr]

Figure so. All right, everybody. This is kind of exciting. Billy. Old school Billy Analog. I partnered with Vinyl Moon to create a special edition album of my best Monday morning podcast ad reads over the years, available alongside their amazing vinyl mixtape club. Here is the album here. I think, you know, they did the whole old timey style here. Some of my favorite ones, the zip, the sweaty balls with the John Huston piano remix. Weapons of Mass Destruction.

[Bob Odenkirk]

No tear.

[Bill Burr]

I remember that one. What the fuck am I reading?

[Bob Odenkirk]

Who was that one?

[Bill Burr]

That was Sherry's Berries. Nature's box. Oh my God. They now. They had no fucking sense of humor. And all that time I made my lovely wife laughing, talking about that guy falling off the scooter. It's really cool. The artwork is incredible. Check out the color of the record. Are they all like this? Is this limited? They're all this color, man. They're not messing around over here anyway, so now you don't have to go on YouTube and click through a whole bunch of them and get them all in one. Put them on, take your gummy, eat your mushrooms, whatever you want to do. This beautiful custom album comes with a handful of my favorite ad reads over the years pressed on a custom color with the unique MMP art. Vinyl Moon partnered with me to press this limited edition run of these albums, which are available only when you sign up for Vinyl Moon subscription membership. For a new Vinyl Moon subscription membership, get it.

[Bob Odenkirk]

All right.

[Bill Burr]

Vinyl Moon is an independent vinyl club for music lovers and adventurous spirits. What are we talking of, swingers? What are we doing here? Vinyl Moon has been creating and sending mixtapes of new music and original artwork pressed on vinyl to members around the world every month for over 10 years. They got experience. Each of their vinyl mixtapes comes in a super deluxe packaging and they collaborate with different visual artists.

[Bob Odenkirk]

Look at these things.

[Bill Burr]

They open up.

[Bob Odenkirk]

I mean, this is the kind of stuff back in the day, you know,

[Bill Burr]

you take your drugs out, you take the stems out, you do all of that.

[Bob Odenkirk]

Let me get. Look at this one.

[Bill Burr]

Psychedelic man, and they got all of these. They're also. If I can take one of these

[Bob Odenkirk]

records out of here, they're all different kinds of colors, you know what I mean?

[Bill Burr]

Look at, look at that one.

[Bob Odenkirk]

Get the.

[Bill Burr]

Look at that. They didn't make shit like that when I was a kid. Alright, sorry, I got carried away there. Anyway, they collaborate with different visual artists to create really original jackets, special features and more. As you saw. And just like my album, their mixtapes are pressed on a beautiful color vinyl. For a limited time Monday morning podcast listeners can get this limited edition record of my favorite ad reads for free when they join Vinyl moon with a three month or longer membership. Head to vinylmoon.com burr for more information about club details and to get your free limited edition record from yours truly. V I N Y L m o o n.com.co sorry/burr V I N Y L m o o n.co c o/ Burr. All right, that's it.

[Bob Odenkirk]

Right?

[Bill Burr]

Normal. From the creator of John Wick and Nobody Comes the new movie Normal. A double barreled shotgun blast of pure mayhem for Sheriff Ulysses, played by Bob Odenkirk. A new job as temporary sheriff in the quaint town of Normal, Minnesota was meant to be a welcome respite from recent troubles. But when a botched bank robbery interrupts the peace, a dark secret is exposed and Ulysses discovers that the town is anything but its namesake. Suddenly everyone is trying to shoot the sheriff and he has to rely on his wits and some crooks if he is to survive the night. And that's all before the I say Yakuza. Yeah, the Yakuza shows up. Starring Bob Odenkirk, Henry Winkler. Come on. And Lena Headley. Heady fuck. See it only in theaters starting April 17th. All right, policy Genius, everybody. You know, it's springtime and it's time to take stock of the important things you need to do. You know, be nice to your wife. Get rid of her.

[Bob Odenkirk]

I don't know where you are in

[Bill Burr]

your relationship, but you know, this is, you know, it's a time of renewal.

[Bob Odenkirk]

Andrew.

[Bill Burr]

PolicyGenius is an online insurance marketplace that allows you to compare quotes from America's top insurers side by side.

[Bob Odenkirk]

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[Bill Burr]

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[Bob Odenkirk]

of the subscription plan.

[Bill Burr]

Quo everybody.

[Bob Odenkirk]

Quo your horses there.

[Bill Burr]

It's quote. Sorry if your business is still running like a game of telephone gone wrong. Scattered messages, missed calls. Who's handling this? I love to give me a quote. I can do a little acting there. It's time to fix that a modern comm system is like handing your team a GPS instead of a treasure map drawn by a toddler. You know, I don't think it's time to toddler shame. I think there's another way to sell this shit, don't you? Everyone stays aligned. These stupid drooling toddlers drawing you a fucking map need a pro. You need an adult on his way to prostate cancer to let you know everyone stays aligned. Nothing falls through the cracks, and at some point you just say, all right, let's fucking quo. And that's why today's episode is brought to you by Quo. Q U O the smarter way to run your business Quo is the number one rated business phone system on G2 with 3,000 reviews built for how modern networks work. That's why more than 90,000 businesses, from solo oper operators to growing teams, rely on Quo to stay connected, professional and consistently reachable. Quo works wherever you are, right from an app on your phone or computer and lets you keep your existing number, add new numbers and new teammates in minutes. Teammates Andrew Sink in your CRM and rely on seamless routing and call flows as your business scales. Teammates Scales. It's easy. Calls, texts, voicemails, transcripts, and contact details all live in one clean view with full context at your fingertips. Your team communicates faster, stays aligned, and delivers a more personalized experience. Make this the time where no opportunity and no customer slips away.

[Bob Odenkirk]

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[Bill Burr]

Plus get 20% off your first six months when you go to quo.com burr that's q u o.com burr quo no missed calls, no missed customers. Oh, look who it is. It's all zip.

[Bob Odenkirk]

Did you know that the average employer

[Bill Burr]

has to sort through roughly 250 resumes per job opening? But I imagine that's pretty tedious.

[Bob Odenkirk]

Well, regardless of who makes it to

[Bill Burr]

the final round, one thing's for certain. It takes the most talented people to build these incredible teams.

[Bob Odenkirk]

The same goes when you're hiring. If you want your business to be

[Bill Burr]

at the top of its game, you need the best people on your team. The place to find them.

[Bob Odenkirk]

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[Bill Burr]

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[Bob Odenkirk]

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[Bill Burr]

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[Bob Odenkirk]

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[Bill Burr]

Try for free at ZipRecruiter.com Spur that zip GridUp.com Meet your match on ZipRecruiter.

[Michael Koman]

When you do stand up, how written is your act? And when you finally get to your hour and is there any chance that you would fall through a hole in that script or in that plan? Like. Like in a play where you.

[Bill Burr]

I would forget what I was saying,

[Michael Koman]

drop five minutes and go. Like, is that any issue at all? Because it seems to me when I watch that there's a. However scripted it is, it's in the moment as well. Like, it's not the same exact every day.

[Bill Burr]

No. So I don't write. Oh, I haven't written in.

[Michael Koman]

You just have the list of topics.

[Bill Burr]

Yeah. So it's just what I want to talk about.

[Michael Koman]

Right.

[Bill Burr]

And then I just tell it to the audience. So I. I mean, I've been doing that. I can't remember when I stopped writing.

[Michael Koman]

Yeah.

[Bill Burr]

But I eventually started writing on stage.

[Bob Odenkirk]

But. Yeah.

[Bill Burr]

I don't know as far as, like just going through the whole thing. Like, I go out and like, what I want to be is not thinking anything.

[Michael Koman]

Right.

[Bill Burr]

Like, I went out.

[Michael Koman]

You just want to be present. Yeah.

[Bill Burr]

Well, the second show, when I was in Durham this past weekend, the second show I came out and there's two people's faces in the crowd just sent the whole thing in a different direction. And it changed the vibe of the crowd and the whole thing. I just saw them in the front row and I was like, oh. And then my brain was just like, oh, I'm gonna do this joke. And it was a joke that I had been doing further on down the line. And, you know, when I was younger, I would be afraid like, no, that joke doesn't go there. And I need to open with. You gotta open with your second strongest and then you have your third strongest in the middle joke. And then the strongest one to close. Like, I was believing in that. And then after a while, you know, I just started experimenting with like, well, let me see if I can do this. Some nights you literally do your act, like, backwards a little bit.

[Michael Koman]

Wow.

[Bill Burr]

So that's what kind of happened on the second show. Well, it's something that I always sort of equate it to like, like whatever your average Joe, you know, everybody has their getting arrested story or getting their ass kicked story or whatever. Getting their heartbroken story. You have the story in your head. They don't have it written down anywhere. But you've told the story enough times. You know where the beats are. So it's sort of that philosophy, where

[Michael Koman]

do you get comedy from the world around you, or is it from a service that you pay for?

[Bill Burr]

What do you mean?

[Michael Koman]

Do you, like, observe the world and

[Bill Burr]

come up with things?

[Michael Koman]

Or do you pay a company, like an AI company to send you subject?

[Bill Burr]

Oh, yeah. Then, you know, I do is. I do crowd work with the AI thing. And then I. I just post that. And now all of a sudden, I'm playing football stadiums.

[Michael Koman]

But you. You have your stories in an order and you know Lavelle Crawford?

[Bob Odenkirk]

Oh, yeah.

[Michael Koman]

God, I love watching him do stand up. And he does. He. He just. He's just riffing, man. He's. He's just going, no, he. He thinks. I love that guy.

[Bill Burr]

He thinks in bits. I opened for him one time at some.

[Bob Odenkirk]

Some.

[Bill Burr]

I think it was University of Arkansas.

[Michael Koman]

Yeah.

[Bill Burr]

And. Oh, my. Dude, like, he was funny before the show. He was funny during the show, and he was funny. I remember when they were after. God, he goes, ah, thanks a lot. Thanks a lot. Whatever. And they were all like. And they were all just. It was so funny. They were enamored with him, and he was being mean to them, but they still loved it because he does it in this lovable way. And he'd go, you know the students who booked you? He goes, they would. They would. They want to come and take a picture with you. And he's like, why? And they go, they. You know, they just want to. They want to see you. And he goes. He goes, they just saw me. I just did an hour of stand up. How many times. Oh, my God, how many times did he. So, no, he has, like, some of the funniest stories. Like, he told me he was walking through an airport one time, and this family recognized him. Like, oh, my God, we're the biggest fans. Our daughter wants to do stand up. Can you listen to one of his jokes? Because I. I really don't want to. And then they go, can you just listen to it real quick? And he just goes, all right. And he's got, like, his luggage. And she goes, okay. One time. He just goes, boom. And the whole family laughed, and he turned around and he walked away. So, yeah, he was one of those guys.

[Michael Koman]

I don't know why he thought of him. But you.

[Bill Burr]

You and he.

[Michael Koman]

And Breaking Bad is just insane that you guys are together there.

[Bill Burr]

I learned a lot about acting with that guy.

[Michael Koman]

Oh, yeah.

[Bill Burr]

It made me do a different choice. That scene with the Benneke guy, like, when I was rehearsing it, I was all like, yeah, let me tell you Something, motherfucker. All this tough guy shit. And then I just happened to look before we did the scene. I see me standing next to Lavelle, and it's like, oh, I don't need to be tough. He sees the ramifications.

[Michael Koman]

Yeah, that guy's your muscle there.

[Bill Burr]

Yeah. And I remember talking to this guy that did security for this big rock band. And I asked him, the kind of guy, he gets like, tough guys. He goes, well, you want guys that are tough, but what you want is guys that de escalate. Like, the last thing you want to do is bring a lawsuit to the band.

[Michael Koman]

Right?

[Bill Burr]

So that's. I kind of. I combine those two where it's like, okay, we're in the suburbs in some cul de sac. We can't be making a bunch of noise during the day. There's probably moms or nannies that are home out here. So what I.

[Bob Odenkirk]

You look at.

[Bill Burr]

You don't want to give us some money, but you got to give us money because this guy's fucking here. So just. So then there was only one moment where he sort of boxed. I kind of leaned in a little bit just to remind him, and that was it. And I sort of learned that.

[Michael Koman]

Yeah.

[Bill Burr]

That.

[Michael Koman]

That wow.

[Bill Burr]

Thing of, like. Oh. Doing, like, the opposite thing.

[Michael Koman]

Yeah, yeah.

[Bill Burr]

Like, rather than playing the.

[Michael Koman]

Yeah.

[Bill Burr]

The obvious.

[Michael Koman]

The surface purpose.

[Bill Burr]

Stop being such a hacky actor, Bill.

[Michael Koman]

Yeah, no, you're a great actor. You got great presence. He's great. And you're so great in that play. I mean, holy. That scene between you and Michael. Listen, Magnolia is going to kill me if I don't finish talking about normal, so I'm going to finish. This is a great, fun movie. This is a fun movie. I've shown it to, like, eight audiences around the country. I've sat there while they watch it. They get caught up in it. But the reason I liked it, I was saying Derek had written these three outlines, right? This was the only one that had this opening chapter where it's my character. I play a temporary sheriff, not a real thing. And he's at a town that needs, you know, has to elect a new sheriff, but he's gonna fill in, and something's funky, something's weird.

[Bill Burr]

You're a lame duck sheriff.

[Michael Koman]

I'm a lame duck sheriff. And I. And I'm both aware that something's funny and weird about this town, but I also don't want to know. It's like, don't want to know about that. That's gonna be trouble. I don't want to look at it.

[Bill Burr]

And how long are you supposed to be? Just this temporary guy, like eight weeks.

[Michael Koman]

And I'm on day one when we join me. So you're just like, shit goes crazy fast. But I'm trying not to look at this mysterious shit that is around me. Kind of.

[Bill Burr]

Because you don't want the job. You just.

[Michael Koman]

Well, he. You know, there's a story as to why my character lost some faith in his own judgment. And bottom line, he's supposed to be here for a few weeks and leave and just don't get. Don't. Don't cause trouble, right? So then shit goes off because of deus ex machina, hand of God. Something goes. Something goes awry.

[Bill Burr]

I'm in.

[Michael Koman]

And then it just keeps going off. And I didn't even read this when I read the script, but it just goes to the craziest place and the violence gets intense and insane, and it even becomes like a horror film at times. Like, I never saw that in.

[Bill Burr]

The scripts of movies are coming back.

[Michael Koman]

It's like a horror film. So the audience is like, holy shit. Like, there's all these moments where, like, whoa. Like, they didn't see that coming. And it's intense, and it's all because of Derek. But it's also this guy, Ben Wheatley, this British director. And these guys just love film the way you love stand up, the way you love comedy. These guys love action movies and horror films.

[Bill Burr]

There's a lot of great action films have come out of England.

[Michael Koman]

Yeah.

[Bob Odenkirk]

All those lock stock movies.

[Michael Koman]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Bill Burr]

Fantastic.

[Michael Koman]

Yeah.

[Bill Burr]

You know, I just found one. I. I gotta. I'm. Because I'm always sending you.

[Michael Koman]

Yeah, Yeah. I was watching some of. Then came Bronson the other night. By the way, I found the series that you sent me. And you know what that was? I want to tell you something. What that was. That was the right instincts and just not enough support from, like, the network or maybe not enough skills around them. Like, the people who wrote it knew what they wanted and you could tell what they wanted to make.

[Bill Burr]

Yeah. Cause I love the idea of the show. The show starts off. It's called Then Came Bronson. Then came Bronson. That starts off, and there's this guy. He's on funny. He's on just like this little Honda motorcycle.

[Michael Koman]

Yeah.

[Bill Burr]

Like, and this guy next to him is, like, in a suit. They stopped at a red light and he's like, in a car, and he's just asking him, like, hey, where you going? He's like, you know, I don't know, like just. Just the difference of choices that they made and the guy in the.

[Michael Koman]

It was brilliant. The inspiration for it was brilliant. The tone was brilliant. There wasn't enough good writing in that world for them to learn from. Like nowadays, if you made that show, if someone tried to make a show like that, it would be better. It just would be there 100%. There's a writing around you. You've seen Breaking Bad, you've seen Sopranos, you've seen the Wire. You just write a better show. But back then, all they had to reference regarding that kind of hour long drama was detective shows. That's all they had. Wherever.

[Bill Burr]

Big Valley, I guess.

[Michael Koman]

Big Valley. But you know, it was a brilliant show, Bill. It was an attempt to take Easy Rider, the vibe of Easy Rider.

[Bob Odenkirk]

Oh yeah.

[Michael Koman]

And kind of marry it to something that like a suburban person. Dad could like get sort of Sons

[Bill Burr]

of Anarchy with only one son before the whole thing.

[Michael Koman]

But it's. It's this. It was really an attempt to go like, Everybody knows what you're pointing to. An Easy Rider. I get it. We all want to feel that way. Get on a fucking. Fuck all this. Get on a motorcycle and just drive.

[Bob Odenkirk]

Yeah.

[Michael Koman]

And I don't. This.

[Bill Burr]

Then 20 minutes later, your ass hurts. You're like, what the am I doing? I should have. I should have taken my car.

[Michael Koman]

But the adventure of it, which was so much a part of society at that time, everyone was feeling a desire to do that to get away from the recent past. Vietnam and.

[Bill Burr]

And I feel like that's what's going on right now.

[Michael Koman]

Yeah.

[Bill Burr]

Like people like, I can't watch the news anymore. I just can't watch it. I can't watch it.

[Michael Koman]

Yeah.

[Bill Burr]

Like I got there like somewhere in like, like 10 years ago. So when you were asking me earlier where I get my ideas and stuff from, like I. I kind of like just talk about my life and then what? People kind of come up to me in a coffee shop, their eyebrows up. Stuff like, did you see what. You know, like I just keep hearing all of this stuff that is going on.

[Michael Koman]

Right.

[Bill Burr]

And it's weird. I don't want to get into that, but I wanted to tell you about. So there's this movie, what the fuck? Blazing Magnum. It's a Canadian sort of like Bullet Dirty Harry movie. And they brought.

[Michael Koman]

I want to see this.

[Bill Burr]

Yeah. And they. Well, I think we're good. I got a little production company on like Friday nights. We watch movies and shit. I let you know if you're around. I don't know if you're promoting.

[Michael Koman]

I would love to.

[Bob Odenkirk]

Yeah.

[Bill Burr]

Yeah. So we're gonna. We're gonna watch this one. And then there's another movie that Tarantino got the inspiration for, Kill Bill from that looks really, really badass. So those are like the next two. So we watch, like, you know, cool stuff. And then also stuff that could be.

[Michael Koman]

Yeah, yeah, like that.

[Bill Burr]

That one. That Blazing Magnum. I mean, this. Like, how grounded is that gonna be? You know, in the movie trailer.

[Michael Koman]

Yeah.

[Bill Burr]

There's a blind woman, for whatever reason, walking towards an open, like, ceiling to floor window on a skyscraper. And then you see her screaming.

[Bob Odenkirk]

I don't know.

[Bill Burr]

I'm just like, all right, this is not going to be too.

[Michael Koman]

I want to see that too. I just love the balls of that title. That's like Blazing Magnum. It doesn't get better than that.

[Bob Odenkirk]

Yeah.

[Bill Burr]

And I feel like Dirty Harry, Magnum Force came out. Blazing Saddles had already come out, so maybe. Yeah, maybe that was a combination.

[Michael Koman]

Well, this film is. Goes to a crazy place. You're gonna love this movie. And you're gonna especially love the last third, where it goes crazy and never stops.

[Bill Burr]

And it comes out Friday. Well, instead of movie night. I'll go.

[Michael Koman]

See you this Friday, I hope. You will. Well, you're invited to the premiere. I don't know if you. Tomorrow night. You got invited.

[Bill Burr]

Then I'm going.

[Michael Koman]

Who are your people? Wait, they didn't say yes.

[Bill Burr]

100 they did. 100 they said.

[Michael Koman]

I hope you'll come.

[Bob Odenkirk]

Dude, I. I came to you.

[Bill Burr]

Last one. Why wouldn't I go to this one? It's tomorrow night.

[Michael Koman]

Yes. If you can't make it, I understand.

[Bill Burr]

No, I'm doing.

[Michael Koman]

Please come. Here's the bottom line is.

[Bill Burr]

Where is the premiere?

[Michael Koman]

American Legion hall, you know, on Cueinga.

[Bill Burr]

On Highland, you mean?

[Michael Koman]

Yeah, on Highland. On Highland.

[Bill Burr]

That's where you're showing.

[Bob Odenkirk]

You know how legendary that place?

[Michael Koman]

So Sidley, they got a great theater there. I've been there before.

[Bill Burr]

They redid it, so it's nice. But before they redid it, I used to do stand up over there. Dude, it looked like Humphrey Bogart was gonna come walk in.

[Michael Koman]

Yeah, yeah.

[Bill Burr]

And it was one of those things

[Michael Koman]

where years ago, too.

[Bill Burr]

Yeah, those guys were all veterans. I heard Led Zeppelin one time after doing a show at the Forum. Yeah, they came and they. They were hanging out there. I don't know if they played or anything, but, like, the people that have been on that stage, it's like Marilyn Monroe era fuck, right?

[Michael Koman]

Yeah.

[Bill Burr]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. That place is and one of the

[Michael Koman]

reasons I did this movie normal was because it's like one of those old movies. It's even. We made a really cool poster. I'm gonna get. Can we get one of these for Bill? There's nobody here.

[Bill Burr]

No.

[Michael Koman]

I want to show you this poster

[Bill Burr]

they made off the camera. So people stop.

[Michael Koman]

Nobody here. It just reminded me of those. Just gritty like. It's just. It's not. Why is it different from what's made now? It's not trying to be some big four quadrant thing. It. It's just trying to be an awesome little story that just entertainers for its audience. Yeah. You know, we showed Taking a Pelham One Two Three. Not that poster, the alt poster. That's a cool dude.

[Bill Burr]

That looks like an old school poster.

[Michael Koman]

Yes. And that's what it's meant to look like because this movie is an old school movie. And I gotta show you this fucking thing. It's so great. Oh, yeah, here it is. Look at this sort of special poster they made. What?

[Bill Burr]

This is the second old man with the cell phone moment in this podcast. I got one for you. Have you seen the funnier die sketch? Long haired businessman?

[Michael Koman]

No. No. What is it?

[Bill Burr]

Oh, it's fucking amazing. It's a zoom call. And all of these guys are wearing suits and whatever reason, they all have like long hair.

[Michael Koman]

Yeah.

[Bill Burr]

And they're just speaking in that corporate speak. We're gonna get our ducks in a row, we're gonna circle back and make sure we're firing on all cylinders. And then somebody used the expression, I'm gonna go open kimono here. And I remember a long time ago when I was pitching this fucking show.

[Michael Koman]

Yeah.

[Bill Burr]

And this dude from like kept using that expression. And he was not a good looking guy. And he had this big Fred Flintstone head and not even like a dad, dude. And we were like pitching to women.

[Bob Odenkirk]

And he was going like, you know,

[Bill Burr]

I shouldn't say, I shouldn't have said the name of the agency. But he goes like, yeah, I'm just gonna, you know, I'm just gonna go open kimono here. And everybody's always like, dude, what? And all you could just picture was his hairy fucking junk. And I just, I remember I just kept saying like, dude, you gotta stop saying that. We don't need that. Like, people are recoiling.

[Michael Koman]

He's like, I'm trying to get people to start.

[Bill Burr]

No, he was one of these just falling up the flights of stairs of success. You're just looking at the guy like, right?

[Michael Koman]

Yeah.

[Bill Burr]

He had like the intellect of a bouncy house.

[Michael Koman]

Check this out.

[Bob Odenkirk]

It's kind of like what he was.

[Bill Burr]

He was like a human bouncy house. Oh, dude. Can we see that? Can we. Can we zoom in on that?

[Bob Odenkirk]

Do we have.

[Michael Koman]

They made that just for us because. For fun. Because it. Because of the kind of movie it is.

[Bill Burr]

I also like it because it is. Well, it's got the old school.

[Michael Koman]

I know.

[Bill Burr]

Old school pistol there. All right, well, Friday night and tomorrow's the premiere. So I'll see you tomorrow night.

[Michael Koman]

That's great.

[Bill Burr]

At the Legion. I'm a member over there. I'm an honorary member.

[Michael Koman]

Oh, yeah? Yeah.

[Bill Burr]

One of the.

[Bob Odenkirk]

What war?

[Bill Burr]

The Draft Dodger 2000.

[Michael Koman]

They have a draft Dodgers room.

[Bob Odenkirk]

No, I.

[Michael Koman]

During that time we have a conscious objector space.

[Bill Burr]

I am in the room for. For religious reasons.

[Michael Koman]

Yeah.

[Bill Burr]

Yeah. I could not be a hero.

[Bob Odenkirk]

No.

[Bill Burr]

There was just no wars when I was growing up.

[Michael Koman]

I cannot help my country.

[Bill Burr]

I had the grades to get drafted. There was just no draft.

[Michael Koman]

Yeah.

[Bill Burr]

When I was coming. Are they bringing that back, by the way?

[Michael Koman]

I heard talking about it.

[Bill Burr]

Well, you know what it is, because we don't have an army big enough for the upper 1%'s greed. That's what it is.

[Michael Koman]

That's right.

[Bill Burr]

That's what it is. But just watch where you tell jokes, because that's what they pay attention to. It's not where they drop the bombs.

[Michael Koman]

Right.

[Bill Burr]

It's where you go and make people laugh. That's. That's the real problem. You got to keep your eye on the ball.

[Michael Koman]

Get that straight.

[Bob Odenkirk]

Yeah.

[Michael Koman]

First.

[Bill Burr]

That's the first. That's the thing. You get your priorities in a row. You got to keep these fucking stand up comedians in line, Let these guys

[Michael Koman]

skim all the money.

[Bill Burr]

But we'll get to get to the flag wars. We'll get to those. That was one of the dumbest things

[Bob Odenkirk]

I've ever been involved in.

[Bill Burr]

Anyway, I will be there tomorrow night and I still have to tell you, dude, like, I did the stuff that you and Kieran were doing from mid May to the end of June with that fucking play. Yeah, me and Piricello, we used to just sit there, fucking die and laugh. We used to go downstairs, it was like the second part of the show, and Kieran making John laugh. What was John's character's name again?

[Michael Koman]

Lemke.

[Bill Burr]

What was his first name? We'll just say John. He had that line where he would just go, john. And he had his back to the crowd. And then he just started going Like John, John, John. And he would just do it. And John had to face the crowd and he would be going with this, with his mustache and.

[Michael Koman]

Well, I had the most freedom to try to make Kieran laugh. And I was right here talking to him and doing voices when I did it.

[Bill Burr]

I could never make him laugh unless

[Michael Koman]

it's hard to make him laugh.

[Bill Burr]

I only made him laugh when. When I would try a new choice he wasn't ready for. Yeah, but if I actually try to make him laugh.

[Michael Koman]

Yeah, he was just. He's gonna show you.

[Bill Burr]

No, he's just like, yeah, yeah, yeah. But like, remember that night, that one, that matinee when I played David Moss in the second act? I played him as closeted gay.

[Michael Koman]

I don't recall.

[Bill Burr]

Well, he couldn't. Well, I was doing all the mannerisms upstage because I didn't want to, you know, disrespect the crowd.

[Michael Koman]

Yeah.

[Bill Burr]

So I kind of did a few of these, but I was still doing it as, like, Dave and dude, he just stared.

[Michael Koman]

Yeah, yeah. He's not going to give it to you. Although I got him to go because I went so far when I did the Southern accent.

[Bill Burr]

Oh, you did. Ricky here?

[Michael Koman]

No, no, Ricky told me about which, you know, like, don't tell Mammoth I did that. Yeah.

[Bob Odenkirk]

I don't know.

[Bill Burr]

Okay.

[Michael Koman]

He didn't say you can't do a Southern accent. He never wrote that into the script.

[Bill Burr]

Listen, I feel like if the.

[Michael Koman]

Tony sure loved it.

[Bill Burr]

If he didn't trust you, he would have been there. That's how I looked at it.

[Michael Koman]

That's right.

[Bill Burr]

Anyway, Normal, Normal, Normal comes out this Friday night, old school action movie, over the top. He says it's over the top because I've seen your Nobody movie. So it's beyond that.

[Michael Koman]

It is.

[Bill Burr]

That's incredible.

[Michael Koman]

It's nuts.

[Bob Odenkirk]

All right.

[Michael Koman]

It's great.

[Bill Burr]

Well, it's great to see you, dude. I miss working with you. So it's fun to even just have this here. Bob Odenkirk, everybody. Check out Normal, this Friday mass release in theaters. Get out of your goddamn house. Stop staring at your phone. All right, Have a great weekend. I'll see you.

[Bob Odenkirk]

Hey, what's going on? It's Bill Byrne. It's time for the Monday morning podcast for Monday, April. April 16, 2018. What's going on? How's it going, man? Dude. Dude, you're on the other side of it, huh? You paid your taxes, you know, hey, take more than I make. Who the am I? I just did the job. Let me give it to you, you rich cunt. What are you gonna spend it on, you haberdash and douchebag? That's what.

[Bill Burr]

Do you know something?

[Bob Odenkirk]

That's what really gets my freckled fucking goat about paying taxes. I got no problem giving these fucking douchebags the money. I get it. Being a citizen of a. Of a country. It's like having a membership. All right, you want those fucking potholes filled. Yeah.

[Bill Burr]

You want pens and pencils down at the school.

[Bob Odenkirk]

You want the red light and then the green light then on the light bulbs changed. You gotta pay your fucking taxes. So I don't have a problem with it. The problem I have, though, is when they get more than I get. And I did the fucking job. How did you make more off my gig than I did? And I was the guy up there fucking, you know, dancing around, you know, going down to one knee in the end, like Elvis as I'm wrapping up singing his Truth Is Marching On. I don't get that part. I mean, I do get it. I do understand that, you know, we have a lot of expenses in this, in this country. We got a lot of expenses. You know what I mean? We, where we had. We got 15. We got a 15 year road trip that we're still paying for, right? Going on 16 years. 16 years for the 16 year fucking road trip. I'll tell you what freaked me out. I did the rough and rowdy, which was the fucking. One of the great experiences I've had since getting into the business of show. But in the middle of it, Dan, big cat cats looked at me and said, we just bombed Syria. And my first thought was not like, oh my God, we're at war. Because that's been the natural state for the better part of two fucking decades. My first fucking thought was, how the fuck are we going to afford that? We're going to start another war. And how are we going, how are we going to pay for this? Right? This is like when you're watching your friend at the blackjack table going, dude, you got rent to pay.

[Bill Burr]

Come on, it's over.

[Bob Odenkirk]

Cards are cold. Let's go back to the room there, you know, someday you want to buy a house. But fortunately, I guess we didn't start a war. This was more like a drive by. You know, we did a drive by with France, as far as I can tell, because, you know, before I get in over my head, which I think I already am, I mean, is there anything better than listening to somebody discuss foreign policy who doesn't even have the decency to watch the news, whatever the fucking news is now. You know, I was reading this article in Rolling Stone. Oh, I read a little bit this week. Believe it or not, I read this article at Rolling Stone about Facebook and the influence that it had on news, like, inadvertently and all this shit. And. And how they allegedly have. Like, when you click on an advertisement on Facebook, like, they turn some fucking camera on, and they take a picture of your face, and they try to read the expression of your face and try to gauge the level of joy that you have to determine which ads you're gonna see. And the only thing creepier than that to me is people like, dude, what do I care? You know, if they're gonna figure out, like, what I want to buy you. Just as a, like, human being. That doesn't freak you out? That's somewhere, you know, I know they're not sitting there looking at it. It's some computer, dude. It's a computer. It's not a person.

[Michael Koman]

It's an algorithm, dude.

[Bob Odenkirk]

I don't know. I just don't see that any of this going anywhere good. All right? And then they're gonna, like, in this unbelievably efficient way, get you to buy something else that you don't need. So then you got to throw something else out in your house that then ends up in that swirl of trash, and it's just, like. It just doesn't. Doesn't need to happen. So I say that as. I just clicked on something the other day, about ready to buy yet another snare drum. And I'm not even in a band. I don't have any recording sessions coming up. I just. I don't know. I've been trying to walk away from it, but I keep thinking about this snare drum, and. I don't know. I think I'm part of the problem. Well, I came up with the fuck I was going to look up.

[Michael Koman]

Why?

[Bob Odenkirk]

Why did we bomb Syria?

[Bill Burr]

This is.

[Bob Odenkirk]

This is how I learned about us. Okay? And I'm going to click on the first thing, the US Bomb, to punish it for a chemical attack. That's what I thought. US bombing Syria and Russia's response. You know, Russia, in America, we act like we used to date. You know what I mean? So then when we had a bad breakup, so matter what, anybody, no matter what they do, we're like. Like that. And then they do the same thing. Oh, my God. He's so stupid. I can't believe I wasted time getting to know that person. During World War II, the United States along with Britain. Oh, Britain was there, too. Jolly good show. And France bombed Syria. Does anybody in England ever say jolly good show, huh? I've been to France like two or three times, and I never heard anybody go, oh, ho, ho. All right. Bomb Syria on Friday night. Friday night. You know, let's. Let's kick the weekend off, right? That's bomb Syria. The decision to strike came one week after Syrian president Bashar Al Assad. That's like a number one draft pick name like a wide receiver, except for the first name, you know, like Tayshawn Al Assad. Dude, the guy ran like a 4,140. We just signed him. I'm telling you right now, guarantee it. Calling you right now. Put it on your fantasy team. He's going to get at least 1500 yards this season. All right? Use chemical weapons against civilians outside of Damascus, I believe that's the capital. Killing at least 42 adults and children. After that attack, President Donald Trump promised to exact a big price on the Assad regime. The US and its allies deliberated a response over the following week. What are we going to do? We're going to. You want to firebomb economic sanctions? What do you say? Three to seven missiles maybe, Including one on the outskirts of. Okay. And then on Friday night, the countries hit three targets, including one on the outskirts of Damascus, all related to Syria's chemical weapons program. A research center or storage facility and an equipment facility and command post. Wait, they said we hit three targets? They just listed three, four. I mean, research center, a storage facility, and an equipment facility and command post. Oh, I don't fucking know. The map of Syria shows the targets hit on Friday. The strikes hit at the very heart of Syria's chemical weapon program and dealt it a serious blow. All right, that's fucking weird, man. So we did that and. Okay, and I guess that makes the world safer somehow. I have no fucking idea. I don't. I don't understand how it gets. But my Isma's, my. Here's my question, all right? Because God knows I don't fucking pay attention. What if Syria somehow poisoned our food supply or cooked our economy? You know, what the fuck are we doing? Or started a heroin epidemic. What the. In this country. What would we do to them? Why don't they do a drive by on some of these fucking assholes who are allegedly American. They are American citizens. What the fuck they're doing here? Is that ever going to happen? Fuck no. Because those cunts donate to the politicians campaign fund. So everything they do, it's like it never happened. And then they also advertise on these so called news networks, so they never talk about this shit, right? But if old Freckles goes down and tells the wrong me too joke, all of a sudden I get in trouble. This is the world we're living in. I'm going to keep asking questions. My voice will keep going up higher. You know what Siri's biggest problem is? It's not that they use chemical weapons. It's that they didn't buy advertising on CNN and FOX before they did it and donated to the standing president, be he a Democrat or a Republican. And I am saying he because there's never been a who man as president, you know, And I'll tell you right now, as long as they keep bringing women around like fucking Hillary Clinton, I don't think it's ever going to happen. Okay? You got to have some level of warmth to you. You can't come out there with an Al Gore smile with, with the fucking. With the Mike Dukakis look on your face thinking that you're, you're actually going to win has nothing to do with your policy. All right? You got to come out there, you got to look relaxed, you know, you got it, you got it, you got it. You look like you're comfortable. You can't look like you're in way over your fucking head, you know, having that look on your face like, do they like me? Do they really like me? I don't think there was anything more. Donald Trump's scowl was as terrifying is Hillary Clinton's that maniacal smile where it's just like, I can't imagine, like, just imagine, imagine you're hanging out with Hillary Clinton and you tell a joke and then she smiles the way she fucking smiled. You would just be like, oh my God, I think this person's going to bury an ice pick into the side of my neck. And then Trump, it would be over there all like, look, with that look on his face. I still can't believe one of them won it. We came down to those two. But we did. But we did. And the comedy ensues. I mean, why am I talking about foreign policy for fucking 11 minutes when you know what I did this weekend? I went to Charlotte, North Carolina, all right? And I went to the third installment of the barstool Rough and Rowdy Tough man competition. And I'll tell you right now, I have, I don't think I've had that much fun at any fucking show business gig since I can remember. I want to thank David Portnoy and dad Katz for letting me sit there and run my yap for four glorious hours. Over 40 fights, dude. Somebody would get knocked out, and it was just like, get him out of here. And then someone else would go in. And every fight, there was a couple of boring ones, but other than that, every fight was great. And if it wasn't a great fight, it was a funny fight. Like when you get two fatties in there and eventually they would get gassed and the fight would just start going into slow motion. I don't know why I didn't think to start commentating in slow motion. Like, slow my. Not slow motion. Slow my voice down. There's a left hook to the right side of his face. I literally could have talked that slow and kept up with the action. But all right, I got to give a shout out to the fight at. There was three fights, to me, that, maybe even more than that, my top five fights of the night. I would say, all right, in no particular order, all right, I would say the Milkman. This dude went in his whole promote, he was dressed as a milkman drinking milk. And it was just like, what the fuck does that have to do with anything? And then he gets in the ring, proceeds to beat the shit out of the other guy, and the guy gets a standing eight count, if I remember correctly. Now, don't hold me to this. There was over 40 fights. And after the standing eight count, this dude came running across the ring like Tyson did in his early days, when he threw that overhand right, like he was trying to throw somebody out at the plate from the warning track, and hit that dude who looked like fucking Geese Osby from the Globetrotters. Like, he literally thought he killed him. This dude did the same thing, ran across the room, except did the inexplicable. He threw an uppercut with no lead jab, nothing to set it up. I saw Buster Douglas do that one time. He got halfway, led with an uppercut, and got drilled in the face. And that was it. The night was over. I'll never forget this guy goes, you never lead with an uppercut. Well, the Milkman proved that theory wrong. He ran across, he did a running uppercut, if I remember correctly, and just knocked this guy the fuck out. And then I understood why he was called the Milkman. Because the Milkman always delivers. Isn't that a nice story? It was a great story. And in there, there was head trauma. Somewhere in that story, there was head trauma. All right? Then the dude who came in after the main Event dressed as the pink Power Ranger. This guy went in dressed as a pink Power Ranger, five foot, nothing, a pink onesie on with little red sneakers. Like the kind of sneakers that, you know, people who embrace being a nerdwear now, and for some reason they don't get the shit kicked out of him like they did when I was a kid. Instead they get glorified, you know, his nerd power, whatever it is. So he goes in there dressed as the pink Power Ranger and proceeds to take like 19 or 20 jabs to the fucking nose until he's bleeding. Just basically got his face reddened. He didn't get the shit kicked out of him, but he got knocked around. So at the end of the fight, the post interview fight, he's standing there with his nose bleeding just shy of profusely. And they're doing the interview and they said, we got to ask, why did you come in dressed as the pink Power Ranger? I'm sorry, I don't know the character's name. Why did you come in dressed as the pink Power Ranger? And the guy just with a straight face just goes, because she's a badass bitch. I fuck her any day of the week. I don't know if the kid understood how funny. If he understood how funny what he just said was the way he delivered it. I would say that that's the next great comedic mind in Hollywood because it was very Andy Kauf to stab your nose bleeding. And the way he said, I'd fuck her any day of the week, he said it like the actress that plays that pink Power Ranger would be thrilled with that opportunity. Like, oh my God, I could fuck this guy any day of the week. Mo. Well, the whole window of opportunity just opened to the point I'm almost dizzy with my new options. The thrill ride against the Bavarian Hungarian, the German versus the American, which all night long people were in the building chanting, usa. Usa. Anytime anybody came in, if you wore sweatpants, if you had on a sports bra or whatever the fuck you had a bandana, anything that had old Glory on it, people would start chanting, usa. Usa. Even if the other opponent was also from the United States of America, Thrill ride lost a unanimous decision. I thought it should have been a split decision, but he, he fought a great fight. And the German one, just a fucking monster of a man. That was a great fight. And. And then lastly was the frat boy versus the blue collar kid. And you know, you think the blue collar kids gonna fucking come in there just like a Hollywood movie and show this rich so and so you know what a fucking knuckle sandwich tastes like or whatever the f. And that's not what happened. The frat frat boy kicked the shit out of the guy. Like the guy had no fucking answers. And then he fucking. The frat boy threw a left and he must have missed. And he separated his shoulder, it looked like. And then he grabbed his shoulder. He had it back up. And they got the video. He popped it back in himself like Mel Gibson and Lethal Weapon. And he wanted to continue, but the ref was like, you can't continue. So then the blue collar guy won. Yeah, I don't even think. I don't know if he even landed a punch. So in the post fight, the frat boy is pissed. He's got all his frat buddies there. And the blue collar guy talked all this, oh, yeah, you're bringing all your frat buddies where they're not going to be in the ring to save you. It's just going to be you and me, and I'm going to kick the shit out of you. Well, the frat kid didn't eat all his friends. He beat the fuck out of that guy. And in the post fight, they were interviewing the frat kid going, it's a tough loss. And the frat kid's going, I didn't lose. I beat the shit out of him. Which was true. And then the interviewer just kept going, yeah, but, you know, but you lost. Yeah, but you lost. He kept going, yeah, but you lost. And I saw at one point the frat kid consider punching the interviewer in the face. And I was actually nervous for the interviewer. Thank God the frat kid didn't do that.

[Bill Burr]

And

[Bob Odenkirk]

then a special mention would be the guy who came in. He looked like an angry version of the lead singer from Maroon 5. And he came in and in the first round, did not throw one punch. Just put his gloves up on either side of his head. And we were like, what the fuck? This is like. Like, El Perez seemed like he was getting upset. You know, like when Dana White gets mad because someone doesn't put on a fight. The crowd was booing and all of this shit. And then he comes out for the second round. And he kind of looked over in our general direction, but not quite at us, smiled and winked. And I said, oh, shit, he's doing the rope a dope. He just let this guy rock him, sock him, and tire himself out. And then he went back out there and started doing the same thing again. I'm like, what the fuck is he doing. But then eventually he started throwing punches. They're three one minute rounds and by the third round, you know, he'd thrown quite a few punches and landed quite a few, but still I thought the other guy was a clear victory for him. And the judges came back and they gave it to the Maroon 5 guy. So there's a little bit of controversy. But anyways, when I was sitting there fucking ringside about ready to announce boxing matches, you know, this is something that I actually, at one point in my life I wanted to be a sports announcer. And before I realized that it was a lot of work and I had no idea how to do it. So I just was like, well, I kind of get in trouble for making jokes. I'll just become a comedian, how about that? Well, I was sitting in that fucking ring, the civic center there, whatever the hell it was. And it looked like early eight, the crowd looked like an early 80s wrestling crowd. And when they all started chanting USA, USA, I was just like, this is so fucking surreal right now to be with this level of stupidity, to be sitting in the middle of this. I haven't, I like this is the type of shit. And I'm not saying that I'm smarter than these people. People, all right? I just haven't been around that level of stupidity since I was the people, the average age of the person in the crowd. And I would go to an event like that and I would chant, usa, usa. Would you like my credits? I went to a live taping of Morton Downey Jr show and it was screaming and yelling and standing up and applauding. I saw dice clay in 88 the Worcester Centrum. And with the crowd we all tried to boo the opening act offstage. I booed another stand up comedian before I was a comedian. And karma came back to bite me in the ass, you know, when I fucking did that Philly show. So I've been there and to be at an event like that, a tough man event when everybody was chanting usa, USA was so fucking surreal. And I just pictured all these fucking, you know, all these liberal people fucking being disgusted with it. And it just struck me as really funny. And I don't know, it took me back. I hadn't thought about. I actually had to look the guy's name up, Unfortunately. Morton Downey Jr. I couldn't remember his fucking name. Which is another reason why I'm so happy I got married and had a kid because that guy was so goddamn famous and I was such a huge fan of his. And somewhere in the back of my closet. I still have a sweatshirt from that. Going to the Morton Downey Jr. Show. I got that. I got a. This is what I did in the 80s. I went to that. I have a Bud man hoodie. Do you remember when they, they used to have a superhero for Budweiser. I have that. And I have a Stevie Ray Vaughan tank top. I didn't get the T shirt. I got the tank top because it was the 80s and I. To show off my pasty guns, you know, because nobody did squats. Everybody just did upper body in the 80s from the instep tour. That's what I have left from the 80s. But anyways, I can't remember where the. I was going with that, but it was, it was amazing. And I want to go back to that venue and I want to do a stand up show in the round in the middle of it. But that's how much I enjoyed performing there. I mean, actually announcing that's how much I enjoyed the arena. So I want to thank everybody that came out. Once again, thanks to everybody at barstool. If they'll have me again. I would absolutely, in a heartbeat. I would, I would, I would do it again. Because that was just my first one and I think I was funny, but I think I could be a lot funnier. I just had to. It was just a lot of shit to take in. It's like, what do I do here? Do I actually announce the fight? I don't know shit about fighting, right? Do I just try to be funny? And then I also had to figure out how, you know, Dan and Dave worked so I wouldn't be in the way. So I kind of, I thought towards the end got funnier. So we'll see, we'll see if I get it. If I get another shot. I would definitely do it. And you guys, you gotta fight, you know. I want to thank everybody that ordered it too, because I think they, I think that was their best one as far as, as far as what I heard. Anyways, let me read a little bit of advertising here. Do you remember when you try to look at some smart kids fucking test and he'd cover it up, you know, and you get mad at them because they did the fucking work. I don't know where I stand with that. I used to hate it when I was in school, but now when I think about it, the fact that that person did the work and then I just want to show up. I mean, at very, the very least I could have offered the kids something like, hey, I'll Buy. I'll buy an extra bag of chips at lunch or some shit. You know what I mean? Or whatever the fuck you want. Whatever, whatever. Whatever they used to sell there, right? All the junk food, that's all they had was junk food. They had a shitty meal and then they had. It was like cookies, potato chips, just a bunch of shit. And I remember, like, for lunch, sometimes if I didn't like the lunch, I would just take my lunch money and I would buy all junk food. And people would say, dude, you're gonna get a bunch of zits if you eat like that. And I was like, I don't think I'm gonna. You know, what am I gonna do? Have an apple and then get bullied? He's eating an apple. You know, insert homophobic shit after that. All right, let's talk some sports here. Now, I know this is a weird time for most people. In most cities, your hockey team and your basketball team are done for the year, and now you're looking at your baseball team. But when you live in the city of champions, or at least you were from there, and nobody won a championship until you left. Like me. Well, the Celtics did and the Bruins one too, when I was a little kid and I don't remember, although I did have this little bobby or sweatshirt. My mother saves everything. I gotta find that thing. Oh, my God, that would be great. Find that thing. Put it on my cute little daughter. Take a picture. Oh, God, I gotta find that. Anyways, if you live in the city of champions, not only did your basketball team with 17 championships winners, your hockey team with six Stanley Cups, also won it. Well, I mean, made it to the playoffs. Let's start. Let's start with the Boston Bruins. They're up two games to none against the original six Toronto Maple Leafs who are trying desperately to end a 51 year drought. I am a fan of the Toronto Maple Leafs. If the Toronto Maple Leafs get biased, I will root for them. Okay? I would like the suffering in to end in Toronto. All right? I would also like us to beat them. I want us to beat them first. However, if they do beat us, then that will be my team. All right? Having said that, you got your asses whipped in the first two games of this series. I mean, just. It was easy. I mean, I'm not going to say it was. The first two periods of game two were a little scary. And period one of the first game, you know that 51, when he did that fucking slap shot from the fucking blue line, that laser that hit the crossbar I was thinking, like, this game can turn in any second. And I kind of felt that way for a lot of the second game. It just never did because we have a guy named David Posternak on our team who's, I would say, at this point, is just shy of becoming a superstar. The guy's got nine points in two games. He's making it so ridiculously easy. He fucking scored the last goal. He put the puck between his legs like he was around before the game. Right?

[Bill Burr]

They should have been Globetara music.

[Bob Odenkirk]

That's the second Globetrotter reference in the same podcast within a half hour. 31 minutes. 32 minutes. Excuse me. You find another podcast out there that's going to bring up Geese Osby and then swing, then, in a falsetto voice, can't even talk right now, sing Sweet Georgia Brown. Huh? You tell me. You tell me. You show me a podcast that does that, and I will show you a more successful podcast than this one. Nine points, that whole line. Bergeron Ma, Sean Posternak. And we're playing great defense. Tukas been, you know, making some incredible saves. You can tell right now that I haven't watched a lot of games this year. All I know is that the front office of the Boston Bruins has not gotten the credit they deserve for the incredible rebuild that they did to this team. They got rid of everybody. Oh, look who's here. Hi. What? Oh, okay. Oh, so then what? I have to watch my beautiful little baby girl. Oh, boo hoo. Oh, poor me. All right, no worries. Yeah, all right, buddy. All right. Anyways. Okay, Bye. Bye. I just gotta wait till she leaves. I don't see any bad words in front of her. Anyway, so the Vacuum Bruins, we got rid of, like, the whole team, basically, other than Chara, Marshawn and Bergeron, essentially. As far as our big stars, we got rid of Johnny Boychuk, Milan Lucice, Tyler Sagan, Dougie Hamilton, Tim Thomas. We can get rid of the coach, Claude Julian. We got rid of everybody. And I was thinking, like, wow, all right. I tried to put a positive, you know, spin on it. I like watching a rebuild and all of that stuff, which I was. I watched them all this time until this year when it all came together, you know, But I have a good excuse, you know, Got the kid. What am I supposed to do, huh? Not go out there and play with my kid? Of course I got to do that. But I don't know. We're, like, really young, we're really fast, and then we still have some veterans, and then we got some Other guys that have, you know. You know, we got some, like, guys that have been playing like, six, seven years. It's just this great mix. And then all these young kids that are just flying around the ice. And I don't know what we're going to do this year in the playoffs. It's looking good so far, but I am liking the future. And speaking about the. Speaking of the future, the Boston Celtics, that's what you're watching. That's out on the court because everybody's fucking hurt. Kyrie Irving's out, Marcus Smat's out. And you know what? I totally forgot about that Gordon Hayward kid played half a quarter this year. He's coming back next year. So I'm just watching the Celtics this year to. To see, like, as far as the playoffs, to see, like, Tatum, Rozier, Jalen Brown, all of these guys getting all this. This just quality minutes in the playoffs. It's just going to help us in the future. And, you know, I don't think that we were going to get by Cleveland or even Toronto. Toronto looks unbelievable. But my favorite thing in the NBA playoffs right now is the name of the Milwaukee Bucks coach, Joe Prunty. I swear to God, every time they say it, it's like, did they just say cunty? And I don't know why, but if there was a drinking game that every time they said Joe Prunty in the broadcast that I watched, I would have been shitfaced by the end of the first quarter. Joe Prenty, I guess. What's his face? I can't remember his name either. Jason Kidd. I don't know what happened to him. He was there. I don't know why he's not there. And it's gonna be great to watch. I don't know how many games against the Bucks and Giannis. Anteto, Campo. Antetokounmpo. So you say Antetokounmpo. Let me actually, you know what? Let me get. Let me get the proper pronunciation of that. That was a fucking great game. I mean, it's. It's. You can't, as a Celtics fan, not be disappointed when you're watching it. Seeing all our big guns on the bench being like, we would be kicking the shit out of this fucking team if everybody was healthy. Giannis and atetokompo. Let me see how you say this guy's name. Pronunciation. What a show. Pronunciation. Here we go. All right. Oh, Giannis himself is going to explain. Here we go. Come on. Ah, my Internet sucks. My Internet sucks. The Nigerian way. You gotta Say with a D. So it's Adet Kumpo, but in the Greek way you say with the nt, like antetokounmpo. So I changed myself. Like, I don't think there is a way. You gotta say the last name. Whatever you. Whatever you got, just say, you know, it's Yanisate Tukumpo, Yanis Antitocompo on day two. Compo. You can say it with the T or the D. You gotta love that. The guy has that difficult last name. He's like. And I don't give a shit. I don't give a. I'm just gonna be dominating the game. That's another thing too, is I get to watch this guy for a number of games too, who I think he might be the next one. You know, once LeBron, if LeBron ever gets old, I would say, this guy's gonna be the next one. It's gonna be. Well, maybe it'll be Kevin Durant and then him as far as like, the best guy in the league. And I'm saying that having. Not really. I don't really know shit about hoop, you know, the fuck do I. Why, why do you guys. Listen? I don't know shit about boxing. I'm commentating about it. I don't know shit about foreign policy yet. I'm talking about that. Asking why we're not having missile strikes on corporations. All right, hippie music, let's do some reads here for the week. We're gonna do a couple of reads here for the week. Oh, by the way, I have to admit, I gotta. I gotta become. Jimmy swaggered it. Billy Swaggart. As far as my. Remember, I said I was gonna be vice free 16 days. And actually the final two days in March is when I started this. But I said I was gonna be vice free. I gotta go a little Jimmy Swagger here. I have sinned against you. I Up Saturday night I went out with my lady and we went out to go see some live music at this little club slash dive bar that we really love going to. And we went there and he was like, come on, man, you're not gonna have a drink? You're not gonna have a drink? And I'm like, like, nah. You know, I told my podcast listeners I was gonna, blah, blah. She's like, come on, you have one drink. I said, fine, you want me a. I was really annoyed with it because I realized how weak I was. You want me to drink a drink, right? So I ordered some food and then I had a. Ordered a club Soda with the lime. And then I was just like, if she doesn't bring up having a drink again, I'm not going to order one. All right? I don't want to throw away all these days, right? So she finally just goes, look, can you just have a hit of weed or something like that? I was like, I don't fucking like weed or whatever. And she just. I just finally said, fuck it, I'll do it. So I went outside the place and I took four hits off of this fucking joint. And I hate weed. I just don't fucking like it. And I go inside and what happens every time I smoke weed is I just get sleepy and I want to go to bed. So I'm watching this amazing band, incredibly musicians. And they could also sing too, which is a plus. They sounded like you were listening to a record. They were so good. And they ended up doing a cover of Led Zeppelin. Since I've been loving you

[Bill Burr]

that Led

[Bob Odenkirk]

Zeppelin would have been proud of. And I'm sitting there in the corner of the bar being like, hey, man, I just want to go to bed, man. Like, you know, I think my pillow is like my best friend, man. And I just, you know, so.

[Bill Burr]

So I blew it. But you know what?

[Bob Odenkirk]

I didn't drink. And yesterday was the big test because now that I fucked up the whole month, I feel I'm just like, well, now what? So now do I drink? So last night I was thinking, well, I might as well have a fucking drink because I blew it. I said, I don't be a pussy. Had a couple of hits of fucking weed. You didn't enjoy it, Then you came home and you went to bed. So whatever. I hit one hurdle, alright? I've jumped over all the other ones and I'm gonna keep going. Plus, I was also sober for the last two days of March, so. But I still didn't make a month. Then I basically made. Was that two days ago, 14. I went 16 days. I don't give a shit. I'm gonna keep fucking going. So whatever. I blew it. I blew it, man. I gave in to peer pressure from my wife, you know, she always ends up knocking me off the wagon though. I remember one time I went a year and two days without booze and we were. We were in Norway at this fancy restaurant and had like a, like a 12 course meal. All these little bites kept coming out and I was just laughing going, we're never going to get full. And by the eighth one, I was like, wow, I think I'm going to puke. And they just kept coming. And then the end, they came out with this cheese plate for dessert. That's when you know you're at a ritzy place in another country. Dessert is cheese. It's like you eat cheese for dessert, really. And it was this pungent, stings the nostrils, Anchorman level fucking cologne. But it was cheese. And Nia took one bite, was like, I can't fucking. No way. So I started taking giant bites out of it. And she was going, cut it out. Don't, Don't. You're gonna get sick. And my eyes were watering, my nose was running. But her reaction, how concerned she was for me was making me laugh so hard that I ate the whole fucking cheese plate. And it was. It was fucking disgusting. But in that meal, she knocked me off the wagon. She's done it to me a number of times. What I'm trying to say is that I'm Sid and she's Nancy, but I won't kill her someday. So anyways. But I have to admit that I really like, you know, the mornings are the best. I wake up, I feel good. I work out, you know, Then just four hits of weed. The next morning I woke up, I felt like shit. I just felt like I needed to squeegee my goddamn brain. So I don't know, maybe she reminded me why I'm doing this. So I think I'm gonna do this right through to my birthday, and then I'm gonna be on vacation. Everybody I'm doing. I'm doing a show in Dublin, Ireland, and then I'm doing Royal Albert hall in which I can't believe, in London, England. And then. Then I'm on vacation. And for the next 10 days or whatever, if I want to drink, I'm going to drink. If I want to smoke a cigar here or there, I'm going to do that. And then when I come back, I think I'm going to jump right back on the wagon. I'm going to try. That's. That's what I'm going to try to do. Because I'm eating well and I'm keeping the weight off, and who's kidding who? I became a dad real late in life, and I'd like to be around. So I got to shut down the potty a little bit, right? That's another great thing about having a kid. If I didn't have a kid, I probably would have shaved a good 15 years off my life. Oh, but what a fun time I would have. All right, let's read some. Let's Read some of the. Some of the muse, some of the music. No hippie music. That's why I said music. Some of the questions here for this week, by the way, did anybody see the Andre the Giant, Speaking of civics, the Andre the Giant documentary? You got to check it out. You got to check that out. My favorite part was, I guess, in the locker room. The only thing they allowed in the locker room were wrestlers and. And the referees. No one else was allowed in there. And he would. And Andre would always be in there playing cards. And what I loved was at one, they actually had footage of somebody walking in there with the camera and Andre the Giant standing up, just going, get

[Bill Burr]

the out of here.

[Bob Odenkirk]

Goddamn bigfoot. That's when he had the fro. He stood up and the person just ran out with the camera. That was my favorite fucking part. Seeing a giant angry. Usually it's a gentle giant, but actually seeing him fucking upset. Sorry. All right, guys. Sorry about that. I'm supposed to fucking liven up your week, not make you want to put your head down at your desk. All right, hippie music blind spot. Follow up. Not original writer, a Billy Red Tits saw your first Cincinnati show with two friends last Saturday. You absolutely killed Prime Burr. This is why you're the greatest living comedian. Oh, well, isn't that nice? He said, okay, let me take. Let me take your dick out of my mouth. Why. Why do guys always feel like, you know, they get all fucking homophobic out if they compliment another man? They always have to say, hey, man, yeah, that's a nice shirt. No homo. It's just like, well, dude, I've known you for 20 years. I would think if you. You would have made a move at this point, you know, you could just say, nice shirt. As per the most recent Monday morning podcast I'm writing to. To second John Fishman of Fish. As a drummer, you need to pay attention to. You asked for start. All right, this is it. I'm going to fucking get into Fish. You asked for starter albums. I submit a live release. You should start with live double album. A live one or studio circa 1993.

[Bill Burr]

Rift.

[Bob Odenkirk]

Rift is my favorite album. It's a concept album. Oh, all right. You know what I'm doing right now? I'm fucking. I'm gonna download it right now so I don't forget. All right, here we go. Itunes store. I'm old. I know you guys all use a cooler downloading site. All right, Fish with a ph R I F T. Let's see if I can get it where Is it? Where is it? Rift 9.99. Bam. Clicked by downloading. All right, there we go. I took your advice. All right. A picture of Nectar is another good one. Would be my second favorite. Covers of all genres. Include covers, all genres, including jazz, country, calypso, rock and roll, and neo psychedelia, Man. According to Wikipedia, I can't listen to psychedelic music because there's a small part of me that really wants to try mushrooms. And when I get it, when I listen to music, I always think, like, how much more intense would this be if I felt like I could hold my brain in my hand? Name for Nectar. You know what? But I'll never do psychedelics because you have to be home when you do it. But now I got a kid, so I can't. I can't be tripping with a kid. Can't do that. That's when social services comes by and takes your kid name for Nectar's bar in Burlington, Vermont. That's what the album's named after. Where they would the house band starting off their careers. Anyway, love your shit. And psyched to hear your thoughts on John Fishman Fish drumming. To me, they belong in music history books. But would love to get Billy Rowdy Red's take on it signed from Kentucky. All right, cool. Oh, I love. I already love the title of this one here. Why I need an AR15. All right, all you Hollywood liberals, listen up. I asked people in the middle of the country or just outside of Los Angeles, which a lot of people in la, specifically Hollywood, consider in the middle of fucking nowhere, right? Until they have a movie premiere and then they go down there. We love you from Bakersfield. Okay, Why I need an AR15? I just listened to you talk about not knowing why anyone would need an AR15. I didn't say that in an insulting way. You country. All right. I'm just saying, you know what I mean? If like, you know, for home defense, it's just funny to me. It's just like, how much of an asshole are you that you need an AR15 for home defense? That basically on it. You're such a. That on any given night, that hit squad from at the end of Scarface is going to come over your fucking fence that you need to mow them down. You need basically, you know, a fucking bazooka. Anyways, the reason I need an AR15 is because I have a small flock of sheep and I live in coyote country. Coyotes. You live in Phoenix. Coyote won't really. Coyotes won't really harm an animal as big as A cow. But sheep or goats are fair game to them. When coyotes attack in packs, they tend to attack in groups of seven to 12 individuals. Jesus Christ. The fuck do you live? We have coyotes out here. They're usually in packs of twos, even though I am. That's because they're all on some Hollywood diet. Most of them die of anorexia, so there's just packs of twos. Even though I am a fairly good shot, trying to hit a moving target without hitting my sheep means that I might miss several times. I need the magazine capacity of the AR15 or a similar gun because I only have 4 Melking use. Is that how you say it? Use? What is a ute E W E S. Ah, Jesus Christ. I mean, this is an easy one, but I'm not a farmer, man. Use pro nunciat Pronunciation. What a show. Pronunciation. Here we go. All right, here we go. Here's how you say it.

[Bill Burr]

Come on.

[Bob Odenkirk]

You.

[Bill Burr]

You. You.

[Bob Odenkirk]

Did he need to do it three times? How fucking dumb am I? You. How do you say it?

[Michael Koman]

You.

[Bob Odenkirk]

Yai.

[Bill Burr]

You.

[Bob Odenkirk]

Oh, you. All right. You. You. You. He did a subtle different read on the second one. You. You. Oh, God. What's happening now? Sounds like I'm hungry. Oh, 50 word mistakes. Hello, and welcome back. In this lesson, I will show you 50 words that you are probably pronouncing you correctly right now, and I'll also teach you how to say them correctly. Oh, I thought you just say how to say them wrong. If. How do you say it? Well, we say pronounce pronounced and pronouncing. But pronunciation. There's no noun in this word. It's pronunciation. Nobody says pronunciation, you fucking clickbait cunt. Cat. There's no OG in there. It's cat. All right, Why I need an AR15. Okay? So these coyotes come down in packs of seven to 12. Oh, my God. And his use. Are fucking running around. I mean, what a fucking exciting morning. Jesus Christ. That's like the ultimate video game. So then you blow these things away, and then what do you feed them to? The pigs? I mean, that is. You know, These are these CrossFit running down the street like they're doing something. This guy is inside watching Deputy Dog, you know, babadoo, ba ba ba ba da da dupo, right? And all of a sudden, he hears one of his yous going, hey, man, they're coming over the hill, right? And then he's got to come out there with this machine gun. Get some, get some. Get some.

[Bill Burr]

I'll tell you this right now.

[Bob Odenkirk]

If I. If I could rent a helicopter big enough and I could. We could open a door and you could shoot him from up there. I would fly you around your own property, sir, while you did this with your AR15. Anyways, I need a magazine capacity of a. Of the AR15 or similar gun because I only have 4 milking ewes, ews use, and I produce feta and parmesan cheese. What a good shit. I love both those cheeses. Thank you for producing that so I can eat it. If I lose a single. You, you, you. That represents a significant percentage of my income for the year. My shit, that's. You know, all these Hollywood liberals, I swear to God, if you stole their fucking yoga mat or threaten to cut off their fucking man bun, I bet every one of them get a fucking AR15, but they put pink bullets in it. My sheepdog can hold the coyotes off for a little while, but not forever. That's a fucking. That dog's got heart, huh? Holding off 12 fucking coyotes. That's like when Magic Johnson played every position. Other. Other farmers in more western states need the AR15 to protect from mountain lions or wolves. So when someone said, no one needs an AR15, I guess they think that I'm nobody. Oh, you're a somebody. You make the cheese. Why did you have to go that route? You proved your point and now you're trying to make everybody feel bad for you. Oh, he wrote I am somebody. This is hilarious. This is like self help. I guess they think that I'm nobody. I am somebody, and I have a legitimate need for an AR15. Oh, let's clap. Round of applause. That was just textbook, huh? What's he supposed to do? Let those yous get killed? And then little kids can't put parmesan cheese on their fucking rigatoni. God bless you, sir. God bless you. Your AR15 and the wonderful cheese you make. What do you do with all the dead coyotes, huh? Man, this guy that's fucking living out there. I mean, the first one. The first one yelped when you fucking shot it. I would feel like an asshole. However, though, I would know good and goddamn well that if I didn't make the cheese, then I would be living outside. Next thing you know, those pack of 7-12s would be coming at me, right? Gonna take a bite out of my flat, freckled, pasty behind. Can't have that. Good for you, sir. I'm glad they've invented a weapon so you can keep making the cheese and you can afford to keep, you know, Paying the banker cunts. God bless you. I'm convinced. All right, girl. That's a great fucking argument. That argument is nowhere. You know what it is, is smart people never take surveys. They never get on tv. So all you get is these moron gun owners going like, well, what if the government were all of a sudden not to be nice to me and I needed to fight them off with their F16s and their tanks? I need it for home protection. Why? Okay. Girl at bar used my phone to Venmo herself. $300. Now, I don't know what Venmo is, but. But this guy basically explains it. Dear Billy Bass on the wall. The other night I was at this bar with a few buddies and we started talking to a group, this group of girls. I was hitting on this one girl and we talked for a little more than an hour. Her friends then said they were leaving. And so before she left, I asked if I could have her number. She said yes. And she asked on my phone to put her. To put in her number. Or so I thought.

[Michael Koman]

Oh,

[Bob Odenkirk]

while she was putting in her number, I wasn't really paying attention and started talking to my buddy. Next thing I know, she's handing back the phone and saying goodbye. I told her I'll text her later this week and try and set something up. Well, the next day I went to look for a number and I couldn't find it. I searched and searched, but the number was not in my phone. I was a little disappointed, but stuff like that happens all the time. See, this is why this guy gets late. He shakes it off. That's right. What are the fuck you gonna do? Take another swing, right? A few days later, I went to Venmo a co worker money for lunch. And in my trans. In my recent transactions, I see a 300 payment move made to that girl from the bar. Well, now you got your contact info. Hey, lady, this is what's gonna happen. Either you're gonna fuck me or I'm gonna get my $300 back. By the way, you're paying for dinner with my money. That bitch took my phone and Venmoed herself 300 bucks while pretending to give me her phone number. I gotta be honest with you. If. If that was her plan the entire night and she was nice enough to make you then ask for her phone number. I mean, that's fucking amazing. It's disgusting, but it's amazing, he said. I, of course, was furious and immediately thought of reporting her to the police and to the people who work at Venmo But I thought nothing will get resolved because how can I prove I didn't send her the money? And I easily tell your story right. You got to do. I would. He said, I think you got to do something anyways. He goes, also, I kind of respect the move. It's a piece of shit move, but pretty clever.

[Bill Burr]

It is pretty goddamn clever.

[Bob Odenkirk]

What would you do in this situation? I'd probably just eat the 300 bucks. Take it as a life lesson. I never, like, go after people. I just don't. I don't do it. I'm just like, well, I, you know, I learned a lesson. I won't do that again. He said I could try and get the money back, but do you think the effort and the hassle outweighs the reward? I think he should do it because it's actually a crime. She stole money from you and you know, I don't know. Or you just let her keep doing it and then one day she gets caught and she fucking goes to jail. Because she's probably not going to stop at this. I would say, you know something, considering this whole fucking new movement of just trashing guys all the time and always making women out to be the victim, it'd be nice a little publicity out there that, you know, women have the ability to also be pieces of shit. So, yeah, let's even it out a little bit. I would go after. Fuck it. He said, $300 isn't gonna make or break me, but I do need to stand up for guys who wouldn't be able to pay their rent if a girl did it to them.

[Bill Burr]

Right?

[Bob Odenkirk]

Any advice helps and go fuck yourself. Yeah, I go after. At the very least, you know, even if you don't get your money back just to fucking, it's good that you got that information out there. So there you go, fellas. When somebody says, I'll put my number in your phone, but you don't want to say, don't do that, because then they might be, well, I'm not gonna fucking give it to you. Well, you don't trust me. I would just, I would use this guy's story. I was just say, well, the last time I did this, the woman took my phone and Venmoed herself $300 out of my account. So I'm just a little paranoid. So what, women give you their number all the time? Yeah, they do. You gonna give me my number or am I just gonna go home and jerk off? What's, you know, whatever. I don't know. You guys figure it out. I'm not in this world anymore. All right? I go to bed at like 9:30 every night now. Roommate smokes weed. Hi, Bill. I really liked your podcast and really enjoyed your show in the Taft Theater last Saturday. Jeez, I must have good shows in Cincy. That's twice in three letters. First time I see. I see. I saw a live show and it was fantastic. I have a problem now. I'm in college and my roommate and I live on campus. That doesn't sound like a problem. That sounds like it's fucking time of your life. We have our own bedroom and we. We have our own bedrooms and we don't talk very often. I'm okay with that. The problem is he might smoke weed sometimes in the apartment he mentioned he smokes weed the first day we moved in. I never smoke weed and I don't know what it smells like. But the smells came out of his. But the smells that came out of his room is not a cigarette. I'm 100% sure. Yeah, buddy, that's weed. The semester is almost over. Should I bring it up with them? Nah, just get a new roommate, he said. It kind of bothered me with the smell. We only talked once when we moved in. I don't know what to do. It's against the rule on campus. Should I talk to the ra? Absolutely fucking lutely.

[Michael Koman]

Not.

[Bob Odenkirk]

Not. Do. Don't talk to the RA is one letter short of rat, and that's what the fuck you would be. Don't do. Don't rat him out. Really like your comedy. And I think I'm the only Asian dude that went to your show. Thank you. And go fuck yourself. Well, thank you for showing up. And bring some of your Asian friends with me. I mean, with you to see my show. Unless you're the only Asian in Cincinnati, I have no idea. I don't. I don't know what goes on. I don't do a census. No, I wouldn't rat him out. If you're really concerned about the ra, I would just say, hey, buddy, I don't give a shit that you smoke weed. Actually, I do care that you smoke weed, but I'm not a rat, so I'm not going to say anything to the ra, but it is illegal, and I'm concerned that how much I can smell it. The RA is going to smell it, and then I'm going to get in trouble, too. All right? Can you do a better job of blowing it out the window or stick a thicker towel underneath the door? All right, that's it. I swear to God I won't talk to you again. Man, that sucks, man. You guys don't even talk to each other. So the first day you came there and you were just like, I don't smoke weed. And this guy's just like, well, I'm fucking done with you. Everybody thinks pot smokers are cool. I don't know. This guy sounds like a cunt. Neighbor drove through my fence. Hey Billy Belligerent. The title sums up this email. But I feel like I'm in a bit of a situation. I recently moved back into my childhood home after being away for about four years. Unfortunately my dad passed away. Sorry to hear that. But he left me the house that he paid off in full.

[Bill Burr]

Nice.

[Bob Odenkirk]

How the hell did he do that? Usually the they hit you with so many penalties and fees that you have to put the house back into play. He said the house itself is in disrepair. Oh, there you go. Leaky roof, bad septic lines, etc. So I already have a lot to take care of in the coming months. Yesterday my neighbor and childhood friend got shit faced and drove his new truck through my fence. And this is some fucking redneck shit. And got into and into the giant oak tree in my front yard. The fence is wire, so it was salvage. Salvageable. I need to go to that pronunciation video. Salvage, Salvageable, salvageable, salvageable, salvageable. There it is. But I. But I was still pissed. My other neighbor has security footage of the whole event. Dude, is everybody filming everybody now? Can you get away with anything? Including the hilarious moment when the guy, when he tried to pull it back, I guess the fence and fell on his ass. Against all my neighbors advice, I didn't end up pressing charges, although my brother, who lives with me as well, did file a police report which is now on the drunk neighbor's record. My question is, did I do the right thing by not pressing charges and sending him to jail? Well, how would you send him to jail? I mean, by the time you got the footage, he would be sober and he could just say ah, you know, I was looking down at my phone, my back itched and I took my hand off the wheel. I more or less cut ties with this guy because he's a volatile person, as evidenced by this whole situation. He has two young children, one in three I think, recently lost his job and has a lot to deal with, so I didn't want to fuck him over even more. And he did actually fix my fence when he sobered up. However, I. I don't think this will be the last Time something stupid like this happens. Should I have sent his ass to jail or did I do the right thing? I mean, I wouldn't have said anything. The fact that he got up the next day and he tried to fucking fix the fence. I would talk to him about it, say, hey, listen, man, you know, I don't want to get into your business or anything like that, but I love getting shit faced too. But if there's any way you could Uber next time, you know, because if I was walking up the driveway, you know, you would have run over me. You know, I don't mind getting hammered or whatever, but that level of hammered and then to drive is a little fucking crazy. How's everything going with the job hunting? Ask him a couple of nice fucking questions and say, listen, I really appreciate that the next day you woke up, you did the right thing and you fixed the fence, all right? Now that's what I would say to him, okay? And then on the other hand, I think the fence issue, you need to look no further than the story of the three little pigs. All right? The wolf went to the first house. Little pig, little pig, let me in. And the pig goes, yeah, I don't feel comfortable with that, dude. And he said, all right, well then I'm just going to blow this piece of fucking house over. And that's exactly what he did. But he's a little light headed. And the pig gets away. He runs over to the fucking. His other brother's house, you know, who actually went to college, you know, but just got a degree in philosophy, so all he could afford was a house made out of sticks. The wolf shows up, he's like, hey, you little fatty, open this door. What a little pig, little pig, let me in. And then the pig goes, yeah, man, you know my other brother, you know, who took shop class, he just blew his house down. He took shop class, but for somehow he lives in a fucking house made out of hay. I'm not fucking doing this. So he blows that one down and then they go to, you know the guy who majored in finance and stole a bunch of fucking money. He's got a brick house. He's got a brick. He's mighty fat. Fucking over old people. You need, you need to put up a brick wall. Oh, man, that would piss him off. Somebody did that. And then the next day he put up a fucking brick wall. And then if he gives you shit, just put your heads out like what you drove through the other one. You, you're gonna fucking run me over one night or Hit this poor tree. What about the tree? The tree can't sue you. It's a victim of fucking drinking and driving. It can't take you to court. It can file a complaint, but it can't get there. It's. It's stuck in the ground. Then you got a little brick wall between the two of you. Hey, buddy, if you weren't such a fucking drunk, you know, I wouldn't have to do this. Other than that, what are you going to do? I would have my head on a swivel, though, when I got into my fucking driveway. This is the deal. I would just tell the guy, just say, listen, man, I'm not. I don't want. I don't want to call the cops. I don't want to do any shit like that, all right? But if it happens again, I'm going to have to, because you're going to kill somebody. All right? I don't. Please don't put me in that position. That's what I would say. And then I would build a brick wall. Although I think I would deal with my set McTank first. But you know what? You can't take a shit if you're dead. This is.

[Bill Burr]

You know what?

[Bob Odenkirk]

I'm gonna. I'm gonna make you put the priorities up there. You're gonna roll the dice that this fucking crazy motherfucker and his trunk's gonna. Trucks gonna come over there, drive through your fucking wire fence. I think you need an AR15 to shoot out his fucking tires as he comes towards your oak tree. Why don't you talk to the fucking cheese farmer? How cool is that? That guy, he owns a farm and he makes cheese. You know what I mean? So rare do you meet somebody that actually has a job now that it's like, wow, we really need that. We need that guy. Do we need you making another fucking app that can have some horse steal $300 from you? Oh, it's so easy and convenient that somebody you don't even know can just send them money. Hey, wouldn't you have her number from the transaction? I'd call her up. Give me my 300 bucks back, you thieving whore, before I call the cops. I'd get my 300 bucks back, and then I would call the cops. There you go. That's what I would do with her. The fence thing. Ah, I'm all right with that. But I would tell him not to do it again. All right. Okay. That's the podcast. Have a great couple of days. Go yourselves, and I'll check on Thursday. In case you were wondering, you were listening to the sound of cartoon. All right, Which would be.