Monday Morning Podcast 12-1-25

Episode: Diabolical Behavior, Holiday Bums, Driverless Cars
Host: Bill Burr
Date: December 1, 2025

Episode Overview

Bill Burr dives into a classic hour of unscripted, rapid-fire rants and observations on the Monday Morning Podcast. This episode—the first for December 2025—hits on everything from the absurdities of LA weather reporting and global warming, to sports nostalgia, Illuminati conspiracies, holiday etiquette, family Thanksgiving drama, and Bill’s characteristic suspicion of technology and authority. Throughout, Burr weaves in memorable tangents, listener questions, and sharp one-liners, keeping the tone irreverent, cynical, and unmistakably “Burr.”

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. LA Weather and Media Avoidance of Global Warming

• Bill starts off reflecting on the unseasonably hot LA weather (81°F in December), highlighting how local weather reporters ignore climate change, much to his annoyance.
  • "These fucking local weather people...they are not bringing up global warming. They're acting like it isn't happening." (00:02)
• He questions why the media avoids the topic, suggesting they’re just toeing the company line.

2. On Bets, ADD, and Background Sports

• Bill talks about hitting a couple of sports bets, which gives him a (false) sense of control and intelligence.
• He struggles to stay focused, distracted by a live Panthers-Rams NFL game, humorously admitting he shouldn't watch TV while podcasting.

3. Comedic Celebrity Ad Ideas & The Nature of “Nerds” in Business

• Riffs on missed opportunities for celebrities like Lil Jon or Tommy Lee from Motley Crue to do advertisements.
• Observes the evolution of “nerds” from bullied kids to corporate overlords, advancing a tongue-in-cheek “Illuminati” conspiracy.
  • "The computer really leveled the playing field when it comes to diabolical behavior." (00:12)
  • Wonders about a possible “war of the elites”—when nerd billionaires will challenge the old school “blue bloods.”

4. Sports Memories—Hockey’s Past vs. Present

• Reminisces about the 2010 fight between Adam McQuaid and Raffi Torres, praising “old school” enforcer hockey culture.
  • "It's just textbook defending of your teammate...if this is how you're gonna play, this is what's gonna happen." (00:22)
• Notes the immense skill and size of current NHL players, and the increasing focus on high-level training and hand-eye coordination.

5. NFL Parity and New York Sports

• Reflects on the unusual 2025 NFL season—no clear favorites, the Patriots’ surprising record, and media narratives.
  • Complains about how New Yorkers still reference the Giants upsetting the Patriots—“That whole myth that Eli Manning beat Tom Brady.” (00:36)
• Takes pride in Patriots’ overall record, subtly jabbing at New York teams’ relative failures.

6. Exercise & Aging Observations

• Extols younger generations’ advanced exercise routines and admits his own limitations.
  • "Dance with what brung you...Not trying to blow out an ACL doing a one-legged squat." (00:47)

7. Holiday Recap & Family Dynamics

• Offers a post-Thanksgiving “game film” review:
  • Shares a tactic to avoid family arguments: let other people talk themselves out, just nod and agree (“Yeah, I hear you.”)
• Rants about pharmaceutical companies pushing Lipitor after Thanksgiving, criticizing profit-driven health care.

8. Modern Athlete Admiration—UFC & Action Heroes

• Marvels at the talent of modern athletes, especially UFC fighters, noting the difference from old movie fistfights.
  • "UFC fighters...can actually walk into a bar and fight five regular guys." (00:58)

9. Listener Questions: Holiday Tradition & Etiquette

• Holiday Bums: Responds to a listener’s gripe about friends who don't “go all out” on holidays or show up dressed in sweatpants.
  • Bill agrees with some points: “If someone doesn’t want to fucking be involved in the holidays, I actually think that’s kinda cool… But if you’re showing up in sweatpants, come on, at least make an effort.” (01:12)

10. Thanksgiving Drama—Ordered Meal vs. Home Cooking

• Reads a listener email about their sister-in-law insisting on hosting Thanksgiving, only to serve ordered-in food while boasting she did all the work.
  • "Don't be proud of ordering food. Either you're cooking, or you're a live-in waitress acting as the face of the food you didn't make." (01:17)
  • Decries “hyping up” work that wasn’t yours, and goes off on self-checkout restaurant tipping.

11. Cynicism on Technology: Lightbulbs, Smart Fridges & Driverless Cars

• Suspicious of modern “smart” tech, Bill notes:
  • "One of the lightbulbs, you had to download an app...meaning the lightbulb was somehow tracking you and taking information." (01:22)
  • Rants about surveillance, privacy, and dystopian futures:
    • “In the future, you’re gonna get into your own driverless car and the doors are gonna lock and it’s gonna take you to go get re-educated. It’s a police car—your own private police car!” (01:25)

12. Sports Documentaries & Hockey Films

• Recommends and reacts to suggestions for hockey films and series like “The Rocket,” “The Tournament,” “Boys on the Bus,” and “Slap Shot.”
  • “Boys on the Bus, which sounds like a gay porno, but I swear to God it isn’t…” (01:28)

13. Wrapping Up: The Value of Reaching Out

• Ends with a surprisingly earnest note—encourages listeners to seek help if struggling, recalling his own experience.
  • "If you're going through some shit, call up a buddy. You'll feel better, don't just sit there by yourself sulking." (01:39)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On LA Weather Forecasters:
  • “These fucking local weather people…they are not bringing up global warming. They're acting like it isn't happening.” (00:02)
• On Tech Moguls Supplanting Old Power:
  • "The computer really leveled the playing field when it comes to diabolical behavior." (00:12)
• On Sports and Media:
  • “That whole myth that Eli Manning beat Tom Brady rather than… It was the Giants front four that destroyed our offensive line.” (00:36)
• On UFC Fighters vs. Action Heroes:
  • “UFC fighters...can actually walk into a bar and fight five regular guys.” (00:58)
• On Holiday Slackers:
  • “If someone doesn’t want to fucking be involved in the holidays, I actually think that’s kinda cool… But if you’re showing up in sweatpants, come on, at least make an effort.” (01:12)
• Thanksgiving Catering Scandal:
  • "Don't be proud of ordering food. Either you're cooking, or you're a live-in waitress acting as the face of the food you didn't make." (01:17)
• On Tech/Security Paranoia:
  • "In the future, you're gonna get into your own driverless car and the doors are gonna lock and it's gonna take you to go get re-educated. It’s a police car—your own private police car!" (01:25)
• Earnest Closing Advice:
  • "If you're going through some shit, call up a buddy. You'll feel better, don't just sit there by yourself sulking." (01:39)

Timestamp Guide to Important Segments

• 00:01 – 00:06: LA weather, ignoring global warming, sports bets
• 00:10 – 00:18: Riffing on celebrity endorsement ideas and “diabolical nerds” running businesses
• 00:20 – 00:30: Hockey nostalgia, evolution of NHL players
• 00:35 – 00:45: NFL season, Patriots vs. New York teams, misconceptions about Eli Manning
• 00:47 – 00:50: Reflections on youth exercise trends and own aging
• 00:55 – 01:02: Admiration for modern athletes/UFC, difference vs. movie action heroes
• 01:10 – 01:18: Listener rants about holiday traditions, dressing up, generational attitudes
• 01:19 – 01:23: Thanksgiving catering drama, tipping technology, and “holiday bums”
• 01:24 – 01:28: Paranoia about “smart” tech, apps for lightbulbs, driverless car dystopia
• 01:29 – 01:33: Hockey documentary recommendations
• 01:38 – End: Earnest advice on reaching out for help and connecting

Summary

True to form, Bill Burr spends this episode volleying between cynical humor, sports diatribes, cultural commentary, personal anecdotes, and listener emails. He skewers corporate culture, laments the loss (and evolution) of tradition in sports and holidays, and pokes fun at our increasingly surveilled, automated world. Underneath it all, Burr’s everyman outlook and self-deprecating warmth are evident, particularly as he ends by encouraging anyone struggling to simply “call up a buddy.” Classic Monday Morning Podcast: unfiltered, fast-moving, funny, and—occasionally—surprisingly heartfelt.

For those who missed this episode, expect a wild ride: part sports radio, part family therapy, part conspiracy theory, all delivered in Bill Burr's unmissable ranting style.