E=MC2, Dodger Stadium, City Problems | Monday Morning Podcast 5-11-26

Summary

Monday Morning Podcast – E=MC2, Dodger Stadium, City Problems

Host: Bill Burr
Date: May 12, 2026
Episode Theme:
A classic Bill Burr episode blending absurdist rants, observational comedy, and sideways social commentary. Bill explores his evolving fascination with science (E=MC² and Einstein), recounts a sentimental baseball outing with his kids, takes on LA’s homelessness problem, discusses the economics of air travel, and goes off on the Illuminati/tech-oligarch “ruling class.” All with classic Burr banter, irreverence, and ranting energy.

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Main Sections

1. Travel Woes, ‘Window Wars’, and Airplane Observations

00:23–04:00

• Bill opens with a riff on airport hassles and “window up/down” conflicts on planes, imagining escalating into an Instagram incident.
• Rants about the discomforts of airplane seating and the unique torture of trying to nap in coach class seats.
• Quote:
  “Everything on a fucking plane is just beyond where you would be comfortable.” (03:03)

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2. Bill Gets Into Einstein (Sort Of) and Space Fascination

04:00–09:30

• Details reading “A Short History of Nearly Everything” by Bill Bryson.
• “I never was interested in space. I was just like, there’s nothing out there ... I don’t want to meet it.” (04:19)
• Attempts to explain E=MC²:
  • Understands conceptually that energy and mass are “the same stuff;” matter changes form, doesn’t disappear.
  • Fluctuates between clarity and confusion, relying on metaphors involving burning chairs.
• Touches on the relativity of time during flight, referencing Neil deGrasse Tyson as a modern-day science explainer.
• Memorable:
  “Would you just read something and now you’re going to talk like you’re an authority on it? Absolutely.” (06:45)
• Commentary on how people like Tyson fill the educational gaps left by underfunded schools.
• Bill’s skepticism about the “dumbasses at the top” reaching for space:
  • If aliens arrive: “All of the fucking leaders ... would just take cyanide pills, kill themselves, and leave us to deal with it.” (05:16)

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3. Aliens, Religion, and Societal Reactions

09:30–10:30

• Bill muses about mainstream society's “casual” acceptance of government admissions about extraterrestrial life.
• Jokes about the Vatican and religious leaders not burning people at the stake for discussing aliens publicly.
• “They could come out and say, you know what, aliens do exist and nobody got burned at a stake or beheaded or anything by the Vatican. … Understatement.” (10:17)

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4. Classic Dad Move: Burr at Dodger Stadium

10:30–20:00

• Details taking both his kids to their first Dodgers game.
• Complains about excessive phone apps for ticketing and digital payment hassles – “Can you just have a will call fucking thing and I'll just pick up the tickets?” (11:15)
• Observations on how venues don’t help people find their cars (messy parking, lack of signage).
• Sentimental highlights:
  • “My kids are seeing the ballpark and they’re all excited…” (12:01)
  • Kids obsessed with ballpark snacks, “ice cream in the little plastic helmet.”
  • Classic dad struggle: son wants to leave two innings in. “Dude, we just walked, like, half a mile from section four...” (15:42)
  • Bill convinces the kids to stick it out; end result: an “amazing experience” and lasting memory.
• Quote:
  “I think my favorite thing I’ve ever done with my kids is take them to a baseball game.” (12:37)
• Reminisces about his parents touring Dodger Stadium in the ‘70s, and past baseball icons/seasons connected to his own youth.
• Critiques the economics of MLB (“first guy comes to the plate and they’re already $750 million in the hole…,” 19:12), but ultimately, is grateful for the family time.

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5. Sports Roundup & MotoGP

20:00–23:00

• Brief condolences to Philly fans after sports heartbreaks.
• Nostalgia for classic NBA rivalries, i.e., Celtics vs. Sixers.
• MotoGP updates:
  • Witnesses Mark Marquez’s grim Sprint crash/injury and its impact on the season.
  • Observes how global events (and possibly wars) interrupt sports scheduling.

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6. Comedy Highlights & The ‘Night of Too Many Stars’

23:00–25:00

• Performed with Dave Chappelle and at the “Night of Too Many Stars” (benefit show).
• Missed seeing Conan on guitar and Jon Stewart on drums for a “White Stripes” cover at Hollywood Bowl.
• Bill proud of his own off-the-cuff comedic performance, declaring it a highlight.

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7. Sports Updates: NHL Playoffs

35:13–36:06

• Montreal Canadiens up in series; Bill marvels at team performance.
• Anaheim Ducks-Vancouver series gets special mention.
• Usual comedic griping: “Still not a fan of those fucking uniforms. That’s a lot of orange.” (35:52)

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8. Airline Industry, Greed, and the Collapse of Spirit

36:10–44:53

• Reads and reacts to an email breaking down Spirit Airlines’ demise (“it was greed that killed Spirit”).
• Explains mergers (Frontier & JetBlue), shareholder greed, and CEO payouts in simple, relatable terms.
• Quote:
  “I saw like 1% of the fucking population owns 90% of the stock market. How fucking insane is that?” (37:54)
• Rants about oil companies, CEO security, and trickle-down economic pain on the middle class.
• Wonders if AI will ultimately automate CEOs instead of the working class.

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9. LA Homelessness, Systemic Breakdown, and City Problems

46:28–56:05

• Reads from an Angeleno listener about how the state “de-institutionalized” mental health care, leading to street homelessness.
• Discusses the human toll of poorly structured policy, corruption, and failed rehabbing efforts.
• $5 billion spent on LA homelessness in five years; city now has 65,000 homeless people.
• Bill vents over government mismanagement (“each could have received $1 million a year...”), the futility of channeling donations, and sheer “food chain” of non-accountability.
• Quote:
  “The middle class is not asking for much. And I’m really sick of this fucking AI shit. Always trying to put middle class people out of business. Why don’t you put these fucking...see, make an AI CEO.” (41:08)
• Listener story: family trying and failing to help a relative lost to addiction and homelessness because of LA’s “hands off” approach.
• “Prison is far more humane than dying on a street.” (53:04)
• Bill on American division and media manipulation:
  “They always point the finger at somebody else. I think everybody’s cool...I don’t buy into any...political parties. I don’t buy into racism.” (55:43)

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10. Cultural Observations, Wrap-Up, and Tour Notes

56:05–57:49

• Bill rails against culture wars and manipulative media (“Ted Turners and Rupert Murdochs”), laments artificial political division.
• Affirms his appreciation for all 50 states and belief in “cool” everyday people.
• Outlines upcoming shows in Atlanta and Florida; expresses gratitude for fan support during tough economic times.
• Classic Burr Closing:
  “Thank you guys so much for listening. Go fuck yourselves. And I’ll check in on you on Thursday.” (57:33)

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Memorable Quotes

• “Would you just read something and now you’re going to talk like you’re an authority on it? Absolutely.” (06:45 – on pop-science confidence)
• “If all of a sudden you had to take a pill to get a bigger dick, there’d be a side effect. Like, what would happen? You’d sprain your taint carrying all that extra, you know...” (28:35 – on absurd pharmaceutical futures)
• “That’s a lot of orange. And a little bit of orange goes a long way.” (36:00 – on Anaheim Ducks uniforms)
• “Prison is far more humane than dying on a street.” (53:04)
• “I don’t buy into any...political parties. I don’t buy into racism.” (55:59)
• “The middle class is not asking for much...Why don’t you put...see, make an AI CEO. That’s where all your expenses are.” (41:08)

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Notable Moments

• New Dad Sentimentality: Bill finds joy and pride in ordinary family moments, contrasting his harsh social/political rants with tender stories about his kids at the ballpark.
• Pop Science Bumbling: His honest, almost childlike attempt to grasp and explain complicated physical theories is both self-deprecating and funny.
• LA Homelessness and Systemic Critique: A rare, wide-ranging, (mostly) serious descent into the root causes of homelessness and governance failure—punctured by comedic interludes.

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• 00:23 – Opening, travel/flight gripes
• 04:00 – Bill gets into science (E=MC², Einstein)
• 10:30 – Dodgers baseball outing with his kids
• 19:12 – MLB economics rant
• 20:28 – Philly sports, NBA/NHL nostalgia
• 22:00 – MotoGP update
• 23:00 – Comedy at Hollywood Bowl, “Night of Too Many Stars”
• 35:13 – NHL playoff rundown
• 36:10 – Spirit Airlines collapse, greed and CEO shenanigans
• 46:28 – LA homelessness, system failure, social commentary
• 53:04 – Prison vs. street-level death
• 55:43 – American division, unity, media critique
• 56:05 – Closing thoughts, upcoming tour dates

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Tone & Language

True to form, Bill Burr’s language is raw, honest, and bitingly funny, blending observational gripes about modern life with earnest—if sometimes ham-fisted—efforts to understand the world (“Am I though?” as defense of wild theorizing), and oscillates effortlessly between family warmth, self-doubt, social frustration, and classic ball-busting banter.

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For listeners:
This episode offers a signature mix of Bill Burr humor—brash, reflective, and sometimes surprisingly sweet—covering science confusion, baseball magic, aviation economics, urban decay, and the limits of American governance, delivered through authentic, relatable, unfiltered stand-up storytelling.

Transcript

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[Bill Burr]

Hey, what's going on? It's Bill Burr and it's time for the Monday morning podcast for. For Monday, May 11, 2026, 6, 6, 6. What's going on, Hawaii? How's it going? Geez, old Billy late face this week. My apologies. For some reason, I thought I was.

[Bill Burr's Friend or Co-host]

I don't know, I thought I was

[Bill Burr]

traveling on a different day. Turns out I wasn't.

[Bill Burr's Friend or Co-host]

Anyway, I am in Atlanta.

[Bill Burr]

Hotlanta, as some people call it. Atl. The A. It's got a whole bunch of nicknames and a whole bunch of baseball stadiums. And God damn it, one of these ones is going to be the ones that the fucking Atlanta Braves fans will be like, you know what? Fuck it, I'm going to a game.

[Bill Burr's Friend or Co-host]

No, I get it, I get it. Shit is expensive out there.

[Bill Burr]

Shit is expensive out there with all these cunts taking all the fucking money.

[Bill Burr's Friend or Co-host]

Anyway, speaking of which, I went to.

[Bill Burr]

First of all, let's talk about the flight. Every time I get on a plane, there's one person that has to have

[Bill Burr's Friend or Co-host]

the fucking window up because they're claustrophobic

[Bill Burr]

for some reason. Like looking out that plastic window where you would, if you were out there, you would obviously fall to your death, slash maybe get sucked into one of our engines, you know, like, I don't understand.

[Bill Burr's Friend or Co-host]

I don't know, I have my issues or whatever. And, you know, that sort of shareable

[Bill Burr]

window, she put that one up, too. And I wanted to be like, how come you get to fucking decide, you know, then I was going to bring in. Then I just, you know, I just. You get older and you just, you

[Bill Burr's Friend or Co-host]

just think better of it. It's like, I'm going to put it down, then she's going to put it back up, then I'm going to put it down and.

[Bill Burr]

And then next thing you know, I'm

[Bill Burr's Friend or Co-host]

in a fucking Instagram video getting escorted off the plane because she's going to cry and say she doesn't feel safe. I did fantasize that, like, for some reason I put it down and you can't put it back up again, you know, and then what would she do? Just keep yanking on it and yanking on it and. And I would get, what, some sort of pleasure out of that? Because what, I'm not in a good mood? Is that what it is? I don't know. You know what I did? I just put the hoodie up, I put the food tray out. And, you know, and everything on a fucking plane is just beyond where you would be comfortable.

[Bill Burr]

You know, like if you try to lean your head to go to sleep

[Bill Burr's Friend or Co-host]

against, you know, near the window, it's just far enough that it stretches your fucking neck and it hurts. And then if you go, okay, I'm going to put my head down on the desk. You know, like when your first grade teacher said, we need quiet time, we got to settle down the class. And they used to always have us put our heads down on the desk. It's. It's just too fucking close to you that you can't do that. So then you got to hit it at an angle. I just did that. And I put the hoodie up. Had a nice nap. Nice nap. No crazy dreams? No drooling on myself. No fucking jerking around, having some sort of flashback? I had a nice goddamn nap. And I've gotten into this. This book I've been reading even though

[Bill Burr]

I lost my glasses.

[Bill Burr's Friend or Co-host]

You know, there's a bad joke in there about you losing your glasses.

[Bill Burr]

I need. Well, I needed my glasses, right? I'm reading this book called A Short History of Nearly Everything. And I never was interested in space.

[Bill Burr's Friend or Co-host]

I was just like, there's nothing out there. And even if there is, you know, I don't understand what it is. I don't want to meet it. I have no.

[Bill Burr]

I have no desire.

[Bill Burr's Friend or Co-host]

You know, I've traveled enough and I've met enough people that I wished I didn't meet. I don't need to meet, like, you

[Bill Burr]

know, but, you know, if we live long enough, which I don't think we're

[Bill Burr's Friend or Co-host]

going to civilization, humanity, the way we're fucking over this planet, if we lived

[Bill Burr]

long enough, are the dumb asses at the top, the delusional fucking lunatics at the top would continue to reach out.

[Bill Burr's Friend or Co-host]

You know, they would continue to reach out, out into space. And then eventually someone would be like,

[Bill Burr]

all right, we'll come here and fucking enslave you. And then once we realized what would happen, all of the fucking leaders, they

[Bill Burr's Friend or Co-host]

would just take cyanide pills, kill themselves, and then just leave us to deal with whatever they said, what's up to.

[Bill Burr]

You know, it's like we're driving by

[Bill Burr's Friend or Co-host]

in a car in space, and they're

[Bill Burr]

going, you fucking pussy. And then they. And then you left. They Turn and they look at you. That. You know what I feel like that's. That's every country. That's our country's foreign policy is you got these fucking assholes at the top and they keep doing this shit to other countries. And then when the country turns and looks, it's just some fucking regular person that now has to fight for whatever the fucking suit said. Bill, that's not an original idea. No, it isn't. You're right.

[Bill Burr's Friend or Co-host]

You're right. It's not. It's not. I'd like to think that I added the car element to it to give you exactly, exactly what you've heard before.

[Bill Burr]

So anyways, I read this book the entire flight. Finally starting to kind of understand what E equals MC squared means.

[Bill Burr's Friend or Co-host]

Was saying that energy and mass were equal and that mass just had to be activated into energy. It was sort of resting and it was mass time. Two times. No, the speed of light squared. I still don't quite understand that, but I do understand the concept that you can't get rid of matter. It can only change form. Like if I.

[Bill Burr]

If there's a chair, there's a chair right over there.

[Bill Burr's Friend or Co-host]

Look at it. Goddamn thing.

[Bill Burr]

If I lit that thing on fire,

[Bill Burr's Friend or Co-host]

then it just becomes ash, but it's

[Bill Burr]

still the same whatever the fuck. It's just changed format. Jesus, Bill, why would you do this? You just read this. What is this, a podcast? Would you just read something and now you're going to talk like you're an authority on it? Absolutely. I don't know, but it was kind of exciting. And then starting to understand, understand Einstein's like, concept of time. Like they were saying, like, if you fly in an airplane, a jet or whatever, and you land, you're like.000, like a zero zillion zeros. Hundreds of millionths of a fucking second younger than you would have been if you didn't. It was like, oh, so now I get all those sci fi movies where the people would travel at the speed of light to go somewhere and then they would come back and everybody they knew was dead or they were old because you were. You were aging at a different. I don't know, I still don't quite understand, but it's like that shit, you know, you don't like that shit. Neil DeGrasse Tyson talks about to a fucking moron like me. So he can seem like, you know, Einstein adjacent. He's always talking to some moron like me, and I'm like, oh, is that. Is that how gravity works? God bless Neil DeGrasse Tyson. I feel like he's doing a lot of what public schools no longer do. He's sort of like, you know how like Dr. Phil is like the list, you know, the United States, like there, I can't afford therapy, so I'm going to watch Dr. Phil say obvious shit to other people. You need to stop doing heroin. Right. He does that. Then Neil DeGrasse Tyson explains shit that,

[Bill Burr's Friend or Co-host]

you know, back when we had a good educational, free educational system here, grades one through 12. I'm not saying everybody learned it because I didn't when I was coming up. I just, you know, you heard me try to explain it all these years later. I still can't. Right?

[Bill Burr]

So.

[Bill Burr's Friend or Co-host]

But it wasn't.

[Bill Burr]

But it was for the people.

[Bill Burr's Friend or Co-host]

That's the smarty pants. No, let's not be negative. For intelligent people in that field to then go work for the reptiles to create weapons as they created rumors that countries that aren't doing shit to us are dangerous so that they could then drop bombs on them so they could get whatever natural, whatever matter that they wanted out of the fucking ground or the strategic position.

[Bill Burr]

It's really interesting, interesting stuff. So I, I highly recommend this book

[Bill Burr's Friend or Co-host]

if you're a dummy like me and you just kind of want it like, I never understood why space was cool. I'm like, there's. There's nothing out there, dude. It's just, it's vast. And if there is something out there, I don't think you want to meet it, you know, I don't know. And now they just sort of casually out of nowhere just went like, yeah,

[Bill Burr]

you know, aliens do exist. I wonder what sort of sit down they had to have with like the four families of the major religions,

[Bill Burr's Friend or Co-host]

you know, out there.

[Bill Burr]

I, you know something? I think that that's, that's a good, that's a positive thing about today is

[Bill Burr's Friend or Co-host]

that they could come out and say, you know what? Aliens do exist and nobody got burned at a stake or beheaded or anything by the Vatican. You know, I don't know. They have their own legal issues at this point. Understatement. Anyway, so I had an amazing weekend with my kids. I, I took them to their. My son to his first baseball game. My daughter's been to some Red Sox games. But it was both of their first Dodgers games. And I gotta tell you, as annoying as you know, you gotta.

[Bill Burr]

I already have, I have the MLB

[Bill Burr's Friend or Co-host]

app, but then I had to download the baseball park app.

[Bill Burr]

And then they want another fucking phone

[Bill Burr's Friend or Co-host]

number and all of this fucking shit and all of this stress of like, can you just. Just have a will call fucking thing and I'll just pick up the tickets, right? And then I gotta make sure my phone is charged with. My phone isn't charged and I can't open the fucking thing. And you know, and I got like the iPhone 13 plus not bragging. And my.

[Bill Burr]

My lightning thing is not.

[Bill Burr's Friend or Co-host]

Is starting to not work anymore. So I had to make sure that that was fully charged. And then I get there, I see parking is 45 bucks. So I have 45 on the nose. They don't accept cash.

[Bill Burr]

They don't accept cash. They want the credit card to tie it to your phone number so they know who everybody, where the fuck you are, right? So then I get out there, right,

[Bill Burr's Friend or Co-host]

and my kids are seeing the ballpark and they're all excited and everything.

[Bill Burr]

And there's something weird about the Rose bowl and Dodger Stadium is they don't

[Bill Burr's Friend or Co-host]

give a fuck if you ever find your car again.

[Bill Burr]

They just don't Like. I walked, I swear to God, an eighth of a mile before I saw like a balloon or something that said. Or a big round thing that said four. So I'm like number four, Bobby or. And I was like, I'm four lanes in. But I didn't realize how far I had walked.

[Bill Burr's Friend or Co-host]

But anyways, we're walking towards the stadium

[Bill Burr]

and just despite all of that bullshit, it was still.

[Bill Burr's Friend or Co-host]

I think my favorite thing I've ever done with my kids is take them to a baseball game. And we went down, we were walking along and they were looking at the park and we were figuring out how to get in, and my kids were saying what they wanted from concessions and all that. We got to like, we met the mascot, You know, they were like, checking out the food. They wanted like, candy or something. And it's like, I don't know if they have candy here. They might have, like an ice cream in that little plastic helmet thing. They wanted like a Dodger dog. My daughter wanted like a pretzel, and I made like this whole, like, food run. And, you know, I think I did it. I think I got to. Yeah, I got the okay before we sat down, before the game started. I got the burger, I got the. The hot dogs and the pretzel, and my kids were psyched. And my son wore like, his baseball pants that he has. He wanted baseball pants because his sister plays baseball. And he wanted to get some too, and he wanted to get a belt. And he's a real, like, mimic too. Like when I play catch with him, like, he was catching the ball, and then he was sort of working the ball, like he was trying to doctorate. Like he was gonna throw, like, a screwball to me or something like that. And he loves to slide when he hits the ball and all of that type of stuff. So he was locked in, ready to go. So I brought the food back. And then, of course, immediately, you know, they want ice cream. And, you know, now it's the bottom of the first, and Ohtani's leading off, and I'm like, no, I want to watch his at bat. So I watched his at bat. I watched Freddie Freeman, and then I went up and I got the ice cream, right? So now they're eating the ice cream. The sun's going down, and it's literally the top of the second inning, and my. My daughter's already going, like, I don't want to go with my brother because he's going to want to leave. And I want to see the whole game. So I'm like, well, you know, when you were little, you also wanted to leave. So we'll try to hang in there for, like, six innings, right? So we get to the top of the second. My son is eating the ice cream, so is my daughter. You know, the wind is starting to blow off the ocean coming in, you know, or I guess heading out to sea, because now the ground is cooling. It's becoming cooler than the water, right? Which creates high pressure. High pressure goes to low pressure. See, I got a pilot's license, right? So anyways, we're getting the breeze going back towards the ocean, right? And my son's eating ice cream, and his teeth start chattering, you know, so he goes, dad, I'm cold, and he's wearing a jacket, but, you know, he's eating the fucking ice cream. So I give him my sweatshirt. Now he's psyched. And then he finishes his ice cream. And then he looks at me like we're maybe one out into the top of the second inning. And he goes, dad. And I go, what? He goes. He goes, I kind of want to leave. And I just looked at him. I'm like, dude, we just walked, like,

[Bill Burr]

half a mile from section four in the parking lot to get all the way to the other side to get

[Bill Burr's Friend or Co-host]

on the first baseline.

[Bill Burr]

Yeah, we're not. We're not leaving.

[Bill Burr's Friend or Co-host]

You got to hang in there. And he's like, all right. And we ended up staying. We stayed for the whole game. And one of the Dodgers pitchers, like, I think he was a lefty. He was like, rehab. And he Let up five runs and, and they, they gave him like, they, they just were like, this guy's staying in for three innings no matter what I feel. And then this guy in the Braves though, like, was throwing like a one hit shutout and they took him out in the seventh inning. But anyway, just the whole experience, like sitting there with my kids for like three hours, no phones, talking, eating that food, watching the game, my daughter's, you know, keeping score and all of that. Well, we didn't get the scorecard thing, but each play I would ask her what happened. So she was verbally telling me, you know, how to score it. And the one that always screwed it up is a double play when it was second to short to first, 4, 6, 3 instead of 6, 4, 3. But then we sang Take Me out to the Ball Game. And then of course we go to leave and I'm like, section four, right? We walk around, ran to a motorcycle cop, was totally cool. My son got to sit on the bike, took a great picture. And then we go all the way up and I get to section four and I can't find the car. I didn't realize how far up it went. I was thinking, that's got to be section three or section five up there. It just isn't that. Just got this number four and it's like a quarter of a mile.

[Bill Burr]

Just like, good luck. And what I noticed is when you walk out of Dodger Stadium, all you hear is cars like beeping, like the alarms and it's people setting off their

[Bill Burr's Friend or Co-host]

alarms so they can find their cars.

[Bill Burr]

It's h. Like, it's like part of

[Bill Burr's Friend or Co-host]

the experience of leaving.

[Bill Burr]

But

[Bill Burr's Friend or Co-host]

anyway, I just, you know, so many thoughts went through my head as I was sitting there watching that game thinking like the first. Well, first of all, my parents in the late 70s went to, went out there and took a tour of the stadium and went to the game. And that was when, like Dusty Baker, Ron say, Davey Lopes, rest his soul. Bill Russell, Steve Yeager, Steve Gavi, that whole team was on. They went to a game in the late 70s, they came back with like, you know, magnets and all of that shit. And I remember in 77, 78, rooting for the Dodgers because the Red Sox couldn't beat the Yankees. Of course the Yankees won. And then Cena beat The Yankees in 81 with Fernando Valenzuela. That whole team and those memories. And then the first time I went to a game, there I went in like 1995 when like Mike Piazza was just starting to establish Himself as not only one of the best. Yeah, like the best, like hitting catchers since, like, maybe Johnny Bench hitting all those home runs. And. And I think he hit a home run that night. Fuck. I got the hiccups. And I was thinking, you know, I sat up in the upper deck that I ever think all these years later I would be here with my two beautiful kids watching this game, and I. Oh, my God. I just. I love the whole experience. I was like, I got to do this a couple of times a year. Without a doubt. As much as I don't like what the Dodgers are doing. I mean, I can only complain so much because the Yankees did it and then the Red Sox did it. But, like, it's just completely out of control. Um, I mean, the first guy comes to the plate and they're already $750 million in the hole with what they're paying the guy. Just like, all right, you know, I don't think.

[Bill Burr]

I don't know. But then you look at it. It's like the Texas Rangers have won one. You know, there's some smaller.

[Bill Burr's Friend or Co-host]

I don't know. I don't know. The whole thing is.

[Bill Burr]

It's. It's all. It's all weird. I just try to watch. Condolences to the city of Philadelphia. I was. Where you are is where I was a week ago. Your basketball and your hockey team lost within like a fucking, like two days of each other.

[Bill Burr's Friend or Co-host]

Anyway, you know, as much as people

[Bill Burr]

don't think I don't like Philly because of that stupid show a long time

[Bill Burr's Friend or Co-host]

ago, which was actually across the way in New Jersey. I've always liked that city as far as, like, you know, I'm a huge fan of the early 80s Philadelphia 76ers. As much as they were our rival, it was. I actually enjoyed those series more so than Celtics versus Lakers. And I'm still waiting for that. I don't know if they ever did a 30 for 30 about the Celtics 76ers, early 80s rivalry or those. Or maybe just do one on that 83 team. But anyway. And then also, I just landed there when I did Atlantic City, and a friend of mine recommended, you know, where to go and get a cheesesteak. I know there's a lot about Philly that reminds me of Boston or whatever, you know, kind of same size city and like those killer mom and pop places to get food and shit. So anyway, what is it? Carolina moves on four game sweep. Wow, they got swept.

[Bill Burr]

And the fucking.

[Bill Burr's Friend or Co-host]

How about the Knicks just coming in

[Bill Burr]

and sweeping the Fucking six sixes are all. They must have been like just looking at themselves in the mirror when they. They won that. That game against the Celtics. Did that go seven? I don't even know. I don't. I told you. I watch. Once the Bruins get knocked out of the playoffs, that's when I switch over

[Bill Burr's Friend or Co-host]

and watch the Celtics. And you know, there was no time for that this year. So anyway, what else? Oh, Moto GP, MotoGP. I watched. I was able to watch the race. Amazing. How about the. The prelist.

[Bill Burr]

Is that how you say it?

[Bill Burr's Friend or Co-host]

Going 1, 2, 3. And then Mark Marquez. Jesus Christ. High siding in the Sprint. Broke his.

[Bill Burr]

Broke one. It's just one metatarsal.

[Bill Burr's Friend or Co-host]

He didn't like up his foot too bad, but it's just one bone in his foot. And then he had that problem with his shoulder where the screws. I don't know, somebody. And a turn or something. The bike hit his shoulder blade and he'd already had repair on that shoulder blade, I think. I don't know. And knocked the screws loose. So he got both of those operations and then he's going to come back hopefully as good as ever and then just ride like a maniac and we can have a great rest of the season. But I know it was a fantastic race. I only saw highlights of the Sprint and I don't know. I know that there's been some gaps in the schedule this year because of us going over there. I think. I don't know what the. It was just something about. I'm assuming it was us. One of our wars got in the way. I don't know. It's crazy. Anyway, I watched a little bit of that and what else did I want to talk about? I think that was all I did this week. Oh, you know what I did? I did a. That Night of Too Many Stars at the Hollywood bowl and the night before I got to work with Dave Chappelle and I had two of my best sets of the year. I was really happy because there was a ton of people at those shows and. And night of Too Many Stars. I got to watch so many people that I'm a fan of and I. I got there a little late and I missed like Conan played guitar and Jon Stewart played drums at the Hollywood bowl, which. How cool is that? They did like a White stripe song and I think they changed like the lyrics. But, you know, thank you to Robert Smigel for putting that whole thing together. I. I got to run into so many friends and meet so many people. I had hadn't met before and. And my set at the Hollywood bowl was. Was one of my favorites that I've had in a long time. It was just perfect. I came out, I didn't know what I was going to say. I just reacted to whatever the fuck was going on. And then somehow I was talking about Ted Turner and it's just like, there we go. That's how you do it. Anyway, let's get into the. The advertising here for the week. Oh, look who it is, everybody.

[Bill Burr]

It's him. Erectile. Erectile dysfunction doesn't mean your love life is over. It means it's just getting started with personalized treatment. I thought they were going to talk about where you become like a player coach. You know, you can put me in if you want to, but I'm going to kind of. I'll be out here watching the game, coaching the game. It means just getting started with the personalized treatment options to help you take back control and spontaneity. Thanks to daily meds, through hims, you can access personalized prescription treatment options for erectile dysfunction if prescribed. HIMS offers access to erectile dysfunction treatment options ranging from personalized products to trusted generics that cost 95% less than brand names if prescribed. This isn't one size fits all care that forgets you in the waiting room. It's your health and goals put first with real medical providers making sure you get what you need to get the results. Look at my cock. Think of him as your digital front door that gets you back to your old self. And simple do. What if they start? What if they come up with a pill to make your dick bigger? You know, and then the arms race start because then the dude with the big dick, it's like Barry Bonds was the best fucking guy and then everybody cheated and took steroids. Then he had. He had to take steroids.

[Bill Burr's Friend or Co-host]

Oh, Jesus Christ.

[Bill Burr]

Someone's at the door.

[Bill Burr's Friend or Co-host]

Hang on, don't understand. I still don't quite understand what turn down services. That's when they just come back to your room again for some reason going, do you want some of this? Do you want. Yeah, no, dude, I'm good, I'm good. You clean the room. What do you think I did in the last few hours? Think I'm an animal? Anyways, if they had like a pill to make your dick bigger, then all

[Bill Burr]

these little dick dudes would take the

[Bill Burr's Friend or Co-host]

pill like Gertrude McFuzz.

[Bill Burr]

Remember that story where she sees the

[Bill Burr's Friend or Co-host]

bird that has more feathers than her, so then she tries to get more

[Bill Burr]

feathers and the next thing you know, she's weighted down by the feathers. That's what would happen. Then all the big dick guys, they would have to take even, you know, to get that dick even bigger so they can still feel special, right? And then they're like Gertrude McFuzz. Now they can't eat. They keep. They're fucking dragging it down the goddamn street. That's gonna be crazy. And I'm calling it right now, that's

[Bill Burr's Friend or Co-host]

going to happen in my lifetime.

[Bill Burr]

The bigger dick pills, you know, and then somebody's going to go with the

[Bill Burr's Friend or Co-host]

generic brand and then what's going to happen?

[Bill Burr]

You have this giant dick that's going to curve around back towards you, you

[Bill Burr's Friend or Co-host]

know, like what do they call that?

[Bill Burr]

Or you get like a chicane, you know, like an S shaped dick.

[Bill Burr's Friend or Co-host]

Like so there'll be some sort of side effect.

[Bill Burr]

But let's get back to hims. This isn't a one size fits all that forgets you in the waiting room. It's your health and goals put first with real medical providers making sure you get what you need to get the result. Think of hims as your digital front door that gets you back to your old self. With simple 100% online access to trusted treatment for erectile dysfunction and more all in one place. To get simple online access to personalized affordable care for erectile dysfunction, weight loss and more, visit hims.com brrrr that's him. Hims.com spur for your free online visit hims.com burr feature products include compound drop

[Bill Burr's Friend or Co-host]

products which the FDA does not approve

[Bill Burr]

or verify for safety effectiveness of quality prescription required. See website for details, restriction and important safety information.

[Bill Burr's Friend or Co-host]

Actual price will depend on the product and subscription plans. And plus, you know, you can't have your cake and eat it. So if all of a sudden you had to take a pill to get a bigger dick, they'd be a side effect. Like what would happen? What would happen? You know, you'd sprain your taint carrying all that extra, you know, because your skeletal system wasn't ready to. You know, it's, it's, you know, it's

[Bill Burr]

a whole fucking thing, all right?

[Bill Burr's Friend or Co-host]

And they're working on it.

[Bill Burr]

They're working on it right now.

[Bill Burr's Friend or Co-host]

This is what people do in bars.

[Bill Burr]

They just make up technology that isn't even out there. Fuck, dude, I'm telling you, my brother's in the military. He saw it. They're working on it right now. Fast Growing Trees. Did you know that Fast growing Trees is America's largest and most trusted Online nursery with thousands of trees and plants and over 2 million happy customers. How the fuck would I know that? How the fuck would anybody know that they have all. That's got to be the fucking most random question. There's an opening line for you fellas. Walk up to a woman in a bar, be like, hey, did you know Fast Growing Trees is America's largest most trusted online nursery with thousands of thousands of trees and plants and over 2 million happy customers. Just have her stare at you like, what? They have all your plants, your. They have all the plants your yard or home needs. You got any weed? It's legal now. Including fruit trees, privacy trees, flowering trees, shrubs, and houseplants. All grown with the care. All grown with care and guaranteed to arrive healthy. You know you're not yelling at the plants before you bring them here. They're not like rescue dogs. Uh, you don't need a big yard or a lot of space. You can grow lemon, avocado, Oliver fig trees indoors. That is insane to me. Along with a wide variety of household plants, all grown with care and hand selected to thrive in your home. Wait a minute. You gotta put. You gotta put a fucking scarecrow in your house, then get all the plants you need without the messy car or the trip to the garden. Imagine that. You forgot. You put the fucking thing in there. You come downstairs, you ate a gummy, and all of a sudden there's this

[Bill Burr's Friend or Co-host]

fucking thing standing there.

[Bill Burr]

You get all freaked out, right? You grab your shoddy and you fucking blow. Then you.

[Bill Burr's Friend or Co-host]

You look at that. I was too high to remember I had a scarecrow in the house.

[Bill Burr]

Took out the fucking scarecrow in a bay window. Get all the plants you need without the messy car, the trip to the garden center. Right now they have a great deal on spring planting essentials, up to half off on selected plants. And listeners to our show get 20% off their first purchase when using the code burr at checkout. That's an additional 20% off. Better plants and better growing at fast growingtrees.com using the code burr at checkout fast growing trees dot com. And if you're a doomsdayer, you know what I mean? If you got that fucking underground shelter, if you can grow those fuckers inside, you can grow them underground, right? You're down there eating avocados and figs. Just riding out the apocalypse. Something to think about. Now's the perfect time to plant. Let's grow together. Use bird to save today. Offer value. Offer is valid. Sorry for a limited time. Terms and conditions may apply not saying they don't, but they might. It's nice and vague.

[Bill Burr's Friend or Co-host]

All right, everybody.

[Bill Burr]

It's Simply Safe. Look, we all want to feel safe at home. But for a long time, home security has meant expensive monthly fees and ironclad contracts that locked you in for years. No drilling, no stress, no waiting around for a service appointment. Comprehensive protection. It's not just a camera. It's a comprehensive ecosystem of sensors, cameras for inside and out and 24. 7 professional monitoring. In the event of a break in, fire or flood, Simply Safe agents are ready to take action. Affordable pricing. 24. 7. 24. 7 monitoring for a fraction of what the traditional brands charge. I want you to experience the same peace of mind I do, which is why I've partnered with Simply Safe to offer an exclusive discount to my listeners right now. Dude, that would be great. Like, what if you knew the person breaking in to your to your house or your apartment was homophobic and instead of an alarm, you just had some guy going, hey, sailor, come on in. All right. Just scares him away. No, you know, I'm just trying to find something. You know, difficult economic times. I'm thinking maybe there's. There's a way, there's a cheaper way to defend your house. Right now you can get 50% off your first new system by visiting simply safe.com burr that's half [e-mail] burr hey, there's no safe like Simply Safe. Oh, look who it is. It's all zip. Did you know that the average employer has to sort through roughly 250 resumes per job opening? But I imagine that's pretty tedious. Well, regardless of who makes it to the final round, one thing's for certain. It takes the most talented people to build these incredible teams. The same goes when you're hiring. If you want your business to be at the top of its game, you need the best people on your team. The place to find them Zip. And right now you can try it for [e-mail] Burr Zip Zip ZipRecruiter's smart matching technology immediately finds qualified candidates that check all your boxes. Want to see who's recently active zip recruiters? Filter can show you score the best for your team with Zip. Four to five employees who post on ZipRecruiter get a quality candidate within the first day. Try it for free at ZipRecruiter.com Spur that's Zip.com Burr meet your match on ZipRecruiter.

[Wix AI Website Builder Voice]

How did you get your website to look like that. Mine's so basic. Thanks. I just used wix Harmony. Sounds fancy. What's that? It's wix's AI website builder. You can just tell it what you want and it builds you a whole site. So it's like Vibe coding a website. Exactly, but even better because you can still click and edit anything by hand. You don't have to use prompts for everything. Oh, that's neat. Yeah. Try it for [e-mail] Harmony all right,

[Bill Burr]

let's get into the reads, man. Get into the reads, man.

[Bill Burr's Friend or Co-host]

Anyways, I've also.

[Bill Burr]

I've still. I've continued to watch the NHL playoffs. Montreal Canadiens up 2 to 1 against the Buffalo Sabres.

[Bill Burr's Friend or Co-host]

We'll see.

[Bill Burr]

They have the fan base to will

[Bill Burr's Friend or Co-host]

them pass that team, but I feel like Buffalo has the better coach. I don't know, but Montreal looks. They look good. Six to one drubbing of the Buffalo Sabers. And then for some reason, I watched that one, and then I end up catching some of the Ducks. Vancouver, which has been a great one, too. The Mighty Ones up two games to one.

[Bill Burr]

Who knew? Who knew?

[Bill Burr's Friend or Co-host]

I didn't know they were that good.

[Bill Burr]

They're right down the street from me in la. Still not a fan of those fucking uniforms.

[Bill Burr's Friend or Co-host]

Those uniforms.

[Bill Burr]

That's a lot of orange. And a little bit of orange goes a long way. Goes a long fucking way.

[Bill Burr's Friend or Co-host]

All right.

[Bill Burr]

Spirit Airlines. Hey, Billy.

[Bill Burr's Friend or Co-host]

No news.

[Bill Burr]

You recently read a listener's response to Spirit going out of business. And in that letter, it implied that a senator and a judge were responsible for the airline shutting down. And while I acknowledge those things did happen, it was greed that killed Spirit.

[Bill Burr's Friend or Co-host]

All right, this is interesting to me.

[Bill Burr]

Frontier offered to buy Spirit first. First. And since their roots don't really overlap, it may have been a benefit for both airlines. JetBlue came in with the higher offer. And why didn't. What the fuck was Spirit doing? They were they just selling to make money for the people at the top. JetBlue came in with a higher offer. And shareholders being shareholders, said, we want the JetBlue offer. I want to know. I actually looked this up. There's all different kinds of shareholders. Because I can tell you right now, if I had stock in Spirit Airlines, I don't know when I get the email to see. Hey, Bill, you know, we noticed you have $20 in spirit airline stock. And we were going to sell the frontier, but now JetBlue came in. Instead of making $25, you can make $27. You know, or even if they do send me that email, they don't listen to somebody. Like they're just listening to the big dogs. That's what they. They act like it's everybody in the stock market. It isn't. I saw like 1% of the fucking population owns 90% of the stock market. How fucking insane is that? Then the rest of us own whatever the fuck we own, Right? So it's those big dogs saying what they're saying.

[Bill Burr's Friend or Co-host]

I don't know. It's insane.

[Bill Burr]

JetBlue said they were going where? Shareholders being shareholders, said that we want the JetBlue offer. Now, JetBlue and Spirit share a lot of the same roots. JetBlue said they were going to pull seats out of Spirit planes and jack up prices. Oh. To make it a less cramped plane. The Spirit CEO backed up this claim on TV when the offer was made, which is illegal. And why? He knew the deal would be struck down, which he also said on tv. And the why?

[Bill Burr's Friend or Co-host]

Okay, I'm lost here. And why?

[Bill Burr]

The government did strike it down.

[Bill Burr's Friend or Co-host]

Okay.

[Bill Burr]

The Spirit CEO backed up this claim on TV when the offer was made, which is illegal.

[Bill Burr's Friend or Co-host]

And why the government did so you

[Bill Burr]

can't say what the offer is? Is that what you're saying? The government was enforcing the law? JetBlue hasn't had a profit since 2019. Is billions in debt. Aren't they all in debt? There's no money in aviation. And many believe that if the merger had gone through, both airlines would have gone under. The JetBlue founder has said he thinks with the amount of debt and the recent doubling of airplane fuel, it might go under, much like Spirit did. But I digress.

[Bill Burr's Friend or Co-host]

Yeah,

[Bill Burr]

how come? You know, remember when that guy at the beginning of the pandemic was who hoarded all the hand sanitizer, was price gouging and all in both networks, both Fox and CNN were fucking just tar and feathering that guy verbally. How come they don't go after these oil companies, you know, with price gouging, with this gas that it's like $7 a fucking gallon out here in L. A. Like, how come you're allowed to do that? You didn't buy it at a higher price. You just can't get any more.

[Bill Burr's Friend or Co-host]

Get the fuck out of here with that bullshit.

[Bill Burr]

It's like you're not going to get any more, so you don't want to lose any money, so then you pass it on to the working man. They just keep doing this shit. Dude, I looked up this whole thing like CEOs are having crazy amounts of security now. And it states, here's why they're getting more security. And it said, where the threat was always there, it's now much realer than it was before. They said that's what the reason was. That's not the reason. The reason is, is their greed is so out of control that they're going to cause somebody. You know, they're worried that some lunatic is going to go postal. So it's like, well, why don't you fucking open the spigot and give people some money? Like, how much? Like, if you're making money at that fucking level, but you got to walk around with that level of security is like, is it worth it? I. These people are nuts. Like, I just can't. Like, why. What the. Why don't you want other people to be able to get a sandwich and fill up their tank and go to a fucking ball game? The middle class, I really don't. The middle class is not asking for much. And I'm really sick of this fucking AI shit. Always trying to put middle class people out of business. Why don't you put these fucking. See, make any AI CEO. That's where all your expenses are. It's all so simple to me. All right? After the merger was struck down, Frontier offered to merge again. The spirit CEO said no. The executives collected 5.4 million. Wait, if they didn't merge with anybody, how did they make money? The CEO responsible for the 3.8 million of that. And we know what happened to the airline, as Paul Harvey would say. And now you know the rest of the story. Okay, after the merger, after the merger was struck down, Frontier offered to merge again. Spirit CEO said no. The executives collected 5.4 million. For what? Saying, no. The CEO responsible for 3.8 million of that. And we know what happened. So the airline went under, and these guys still paid themselves all that money. And then the stock. The stockholders can go fuck themselves. All right, here's my question.

[Bill Burr's Friend or Co-host]

Let's see.

[Bill Burr]

And I want to continue this conversation. So what was Frontier offering to buy Spirit for?

[Bill Burr's Friend or Co-host]

And what was JetBlue?

[Bill Burr]

And what is the value of the company? And if the company goes out of

[Bill Burr's Friend or Co-host]

business,

[Bill Burr]

what happens to that value? It goes down to zero. But right before it goes down to zero, these guys just go into whatever they have in the vault and they just put it in their pockets and then they leave. And then everybody who had stock and spirit, like that money that you had, you lost. And it went into two people's pocket. Oh, this one guy's pocket. Is that what happens

[Bill Burr's Friend or Co-host]

I don't know.

[Bill Burr]

You say, now you know the rest of the story. Now I have a bunch of fucking questions is what I have. If somebody can just write in and explain that to the layman, I would appreciate it. All right. Delta snacks. Sir William Fire crotch. I like that, man. I feel like lighting my pubes on fire and launching them with one of those medieval things towards a castle. I'm writing to add to last week's comment on Spirit. Bankruptcy. In the same week they filed for bankruptcy, Delta cut snacks from their flights. Coincidence? I don't know, man. I didn't know Spirit and Delta were down like that. The airlines have also used dynamic pricing for decades to boost fares. Frequent flyers pay more. Their app and discount sites lose seats when overbooked, and they're charging for bags only. Increased wait times at security checkpoints. Well, you have to, like, it all trickles down. So if all of a sudden, you know, we're in a conflict with Iran, the price of fuel. Once the price of fuel goes up, everything goes up. It's going to be interesting in the future when. If they go to, like, electric planes, like, then what will they use? There'll be something else. There'll be some battle for whatever the natural resources for that.

[Bill Burr's Friend or Co-host]

I don't know.

[Bill Burr]

I don't know. This has happened before.

[Bill Burr's Friend or Co-host]

There was a Robert Barron era in the fucking 1800s into the early 1900s. And the common man. I mean, people had to die, though. They had to fucking die to get unions and wages and all of that stuff straightened out. But I don't know. I don't know. I don't know about this.

[Bill Burr]

This one. This is an interesting one because they

[Bill Burr's Friend or Co-host]

have all of this technology.

[Bill Burr]

It's kind of fascinating. Like, I feel like this is sort of the Dr.

[Bill Burr's Friend or Co-host]

Evil generation.

[Bill Burr]

These nerds, like, they are creating. Creating technology where I feel like within like, 20 years, it would actually be

[Bill Burr's Friend or Co-host]

possible for a small group of people to fucking run the whole world. Because before the revolution started, they could just shut it down. They could shut off your car, turn off your phone, which has all your money. You know,

[Bill Burr]

this is my prediction. In the future, there's going to be a new language invented or attempted to.

[Bill Burr's Friend or Co-host]

So people can talk about rebellion without having a robot come and kill them. Oh, Jesus, Bill, you're going off the fucking rails here. Am I though?

[Bill Burr]

Am I though? I like saying that because you don't have to defend your point.

[Bill Burr's Friend or Co-host]

You just.

[Bill Burr]

What you do is you're defending your

[Bill Burr's Friend or Co-host]

point by asking somebody a question and you didn't give any Evidence.

[Bill Burr]

You're going off the rails. Rails, Bill.

[Bill Burr's Friend or Co-host]

Am I, though?

[Bill Burr]

And then for some reason, the other person feels, well, yeah, you're saying that they think you should just stop. Am I, though? Yes. What about what I just said did you not understand? Anyway. L. A homelessness. Hey, Bill. Lifelong Angeleno here. My family came here from Mexico in the early 60s and found success in the restaurant business. I would love to talk to you about what Los Angeles was like in the 1960s. There is so little information about the history of that amazing city. Anyway, I never lived anywhere else. My opinion is that someone who cares about their city. My opinion is that of someone who cares about their city, not someone being negative for the sake of being negative. I'd like to add some clarity to your view that people who are blaming the city for homelessness is unwarranted. I'd like to share a few things to consider. Governor Pat Brown in the 70s, followed by Ronald Reagan, who often gets the most blame, began to redirect funding away from state hospitals. Oh, yeah, that's happened in every state, though. Yeah, they closed down the insane asylums. The effect wasn't that drastic at the time, but the precedent it set was the state has never been fully engaged in rehabilitating or institutionalizing people that qualify for it. The waves of street drug arrest would often absorb some of those who are not criminals. Oh, yeah, and the CIA also brought drugs into this country. It's all fucking, I don't know, I don't know. But mentally incapable. Okay, let me just. Let me just read this and just

[Bill Burr's Friend or Co-host]

stop with my uninformed narrative.

[Bill Burr]

The waves of street drug arrest would often absorb some of those who were not criminals but mentally incapable of taking care of themselves. This saw the mid. This saw the mid to late 90s show some sign of improvement. However, not an honest attempt at making conditions better on the street. Are helping those in need. The biggest issue facing Los Angeles today is that for the last 20 years, they have refused to arrest those in the street encampments who are engaging in drugs, drug use and sales. There are many other problems as well. Rape, molestation, violence, and physical abuse, to name a few. As a former pit owner, you may be aware of Rebecca Corey. Yes, A pit bull rescue champion. She is currently suing the city for their refusal to help break up encampments where dogs are being bred, abused, and even raped. She has provided evidence and documentations on all of these claims. All right, well, what I'm hoping is you're going to get to the point of how do all of these people become homeless? Foregoing, I don't think everyone out there is a nutjob. Foregoing, everyone's ego on the issue. That is how it makes them feel. Driving down the street and every other superficial reaction. I believe the biggest issue is children. Areas around schools are not safe. Drug addicts are defecating and exposing themselves on the street in school zones, as is documented by parent groups like the one my wife belongs to. It is a group of parents from our children's school who try and bridge the school with community awareness. They raise money for kids who can't afford lunch and make sure they're getting enough help with education. See, that's fucking great. That's what we need politicians to be doing to bring it all back to my initial point. The city has spent $5 billion in the last five years to end homelessness. In quotes. They have mismanaged funds, spending tens of millions on projects that never get finished. I know, it's all corrupt. There are 65,000 homeless people in this in LA County. That means each could have received $1 million a year in the last five years and the city would still have spent less. Isn't that insane? Also, our children's schools shouldn't be short on books. And school lunches should be far better if there is money to waste like that. I know this goes back to like the deregulation of capitalism, the Federal Reserve. All of this in all of this money is with 1% of the population. And then they just have politicians go, oh, it's the red tie guys. It was the blue tie guys. And it's like, it's the people behind

[Bill Burr's Friend or Co-host]

them anyway,

[Bill Burr]

you know, we used to do a benefit and it was one of the hardest things I ever did. I was just like, you know what? I'm just going to do a benefit for the public school in my neighborhood. I'm just going to adopt a school. And once a year I'm gonna do this big fucking show, da da da. Raise a bunch of money. Bop did that. And you couldn't give him the money. You couldn't do it. You had to like. It had to go to the general fund in the major center and then they would determine what school needed. What? So you couldn't even do that. So all we could do is just get like supplies, Supplies you could just bring directly to the school, which is

[Bill Burr's Friend or Co-host]

still an important thing, but I don't

[Bill Burr]

know, it always has to go through somebody else and then they fucking steal it.

[Bill Burr's Friend or Co-host]

That happens in every goddamn business.

[Bill Burr]

It passes through Some other entity. Do you know all that money they raised for the Pacific Palisades?

[Bill Burr's Friend or Co-host]

$700 million. They can't even account to where the fuck it went. Can you imagine that?

[Bill Burr]

Just like watching all of those people in Altadena and the Pacific Palpatine losing everything.

[Bill Burr's Friend or Co-host]

And you look at it as like, you know what? I'm going to get a bunch of

[Bill Burr]

fucking people, good hearted people to send me money to go to those people

[Bill Burr's Friend or Co-host]

and I'm going to keep it.

[Bill Burr]

That's fucking wild. All right. Lastly, my own personal experience includes a cousin who fell into drugs and is now dead. Sorry to hear that, dude. He would go missing for weeks at a time. My aunt and uncle drove around at night looking for him because during the day he would just be sleeping somewhere. So at night was the only time

[Bill Burr's Friend or Co-host]

they could find him. Oh my God, those poor parents.

[Bill Burr]

The city would not help detain him so that we could get him treatment. If he was arrested with drugs, they would let him out after a few days and not transport him to rehab

[Bill Burr's Friend or Co-host]

due to the city's hands off policy.

[Bill Burr]

Prison is far more humane than dying on a street.

[Bill Burr's Friend or Co-host]

Yeah, I mean this isn't a genius thought here, but I would say the system is busted, it's broken at this point and it needs to be fixed. Like just, I don't know man, like if we could just get back the very least to the public schools being a safe place, books, hot meals. I mean, what, what kind of. I mean I would love my tax dollars to go to that towards instead of more false flag fucking wars to make a few people a lot of money and bring misery around the world and make a whole, a whole other country want to come over here and fuck us up.

[Bill Burr]

Like, I don't know how long we're

[Bill Burr's Friend or Co-host]

going to keep playing this game, but it's, it's wildly out of control. But I don't know. Thank you for all of that, all of that insight.

[Bill Burr]

Yeah.

[Bill Burr's Friend or Co-host]

In my lifetime I remember was they started shutting down insane asylums, whatever the fuck you not houses, whatever they used to fucking call them. But I'll be honest, those things weren't good either. The amount of abuse that went on, the kinds of people that gravitated there to help them out. There was some good people and there was some fucking pieces of shit. I don't know. And then you just start thinking and thinking and thinking and then you just start thinking about why does God make people like that? Why does he make greedy people? Why does he make predators? Why does he make someone who's going to a dog. I mean what the fuck is going on out there anyway?

[Bill Burr]

But I can't say I do still

[Bill Burr's Friend or Co-host]

stand by this whole fucking thing that has happened. I think with the Ted Turners and the Rupert Murdoch's, what they did to this country, dividing it right down the middle, that now people like root against the state of California and get some sort of perverse joy by watching all those people suffering in downtown L. A.

[Bill Burr]

Like see that's what happens when you get a liberal, you know, like that

[Bill Burr's Friend or Co-host]

dumb shit like that is the fucking reason. And it's like I go to all the states, I've been to all of them and I see incredible amounts of like just people suffering that don't need to suffer. There's plenty of money, there's plenty of food, there's plenty of places to live. And these at the top just keep making the herd run scared. And then they, they, they tell you

[Bill Burr]

to, you know, they always point the finger at somebody else. I think everybody's cool.

[Bill Burr's Friend or Co-host]

I'm weird.

[Bill Burr]

I like all 50 states. I think the average person is pretty fucking cool. I don't think, you know, there's assholes everywhere. But you know, I don't buy into any, I don't buy into nationalism, I don't buy into fucking political parties.

[Bill Burr's Friend or Co-host]

I don't buy into racism.

[Bill Burr]

I don't buy into any of that, don't buy into all of that shit.

[Bill Burr's Friend or Co-host]

Is, is it works against the, the, the 99% looking up at the 1%. None of this is new information. But I don't know, I don't know. I wish there was a way to stop all of that shit. I don't, I don't know what it is. Jesus Christ, to end the fucking podcast on this. Anyway, I am in Atlanta, another great city and I'm doing three shows at the time Tabernacle, one of my favorite venues. I told you on this tour I wanted to go back to these places that do multiple nights rather than coming here. I mean I usually come in, I do the Fox. I mean that's a great venue. But I got a drum kit set up because I got a, I got a, a benefit I'm doing when I go back to LA and we're going to play some songs after. I got four songs I have to learn and each one of them has a little tricky part that I got to figure out. And you know, I'm gonna go there during the day and just fucking wail for like two hours. Good clean fun, not hurting anybody. You know, I want to thank everybody that's coming out to my shows. And then I'm down in Florida after that. I know this is a brutal, brutal fucking economic time. So the fact that anybody would still give a shit to come out and hear me do my jokes, I really appreciate it.

[Bill Burr]

And with that, and with that, that is the end of the podcast. Thank you guys so much for listening. Go fuck yourselves. And I will check in on you on Thursday. I'll let you know how the shows go. The shows go here in Atlanta.

[Bill Burr's Friend or Co-host]

All right, see you.