Monday Morning Podcast – Jan 15, 2026

Episode: Flightless Birds, New Music, Breath Work (Thursday Afternoon Monday Morning Podcast 1-15-26)
Host: Bill Burr (with Paul Verzi)
Producer: All Things Comedy
Theme: Comedic riffs on animals, relationships, sports, new music, and some personal growth

Overview

In this lively episode, Bill Burr—joined intermittently by Paul Verzi—delivers his signature blend of rants, musings, and pop culture commentary. The episode oscillates between hilarious analogies (comparing ostriches to track stars and wings to erectile dysfunction), surprisingly thoughtful music reviews, relationship insights, NFL playoff play-by-play, and classic Bill Burr skepticism about society. The tone is irreverent and stream-of-consciousness, peppered with sharp takes and running jokes.

Key Segments & Discussion Points

1. Barracudas, Ostriches & Nature’s Oddities

[00:53–07:02]

• Screensaver Musing: Bill riffs on a TV screensaver featuring a school of barracudas, questioning animal behavior and riffing about predators as loners—except for a few like lions and cheetahs.
  • “Predators, they're usually by themselves... Serial killers by themselves, maybe one other person. That's a hell of a conversation trying to get somebody on the same page as you.” (02:25)
• Ostrich Rant: Fascinated by ostriches’ inability to fly, Bill launches into a hyperbolic analogy — calling their wings “the bird version of erectile dysfunction.”
• Supercars & Animal Speed: Draws a parallel between Bugatti cars and ostriches: both have technical limits, e.g., an ostrich can outrun a cheetah because it "doesn’t run out of gas as fast."
  • “A Bugatti would run out of gas in, like, 15 minutes... All that physics shit you never used, chemistry—all of that—that's what it's for.” (07:06)

2. Aging Rockstars, Relationships, and Youth

[03:37–06:58]

• Bill and Paul lampoon the trope of aging rock stars having children with younger women, arguing it’s “to keep their women.”
  • “She can't be looking at you naked, you just look like a fucking walking ball bag. She's got to get something out of it. So she gets the kid.” (04:45)

3. Music Deep Dive: Discoveries & Analysis

[10:00–17:00]

• Daniel Caesar's "Who Knows"
  • Bill praises Daniel Caesar and unpacks the song’s emotional complexity—interpreting its lyrics through lenses of insecurity, self-doubt, and long-term relationships.
    • “On the surface, it's a guy who's like...he doesn't know how to love this woman who clearly loves him.” (13:30)
    • “You only have so much in your battery pack every day. If you've got to keep picking somebody up, that's gonna get old after a while.” (14:35)
• Billie Eilish & Cam’ron:
  • Admits to expanding his musical palette—to Billie Eilish (“Hit Me Hard and Soft”) and reminisces about “Oh Boy” by Cam’ron conjuring memories of his early stand-up career in NYC’s “Uptown Rooms.”
• Comedic Lessons from Rodney Dangerfield & Eddie Murphy:
  • Reflects on seeing these legends perform and realizing the goal should be: “funny is funny... I don't give a fuck what your background is.”
  • “If you’re listening to me, I’m making you laugh.” (16:50)

4. Timeless Albums & Being Yourself

[21:00–24:00]

• Recommends Eric Sermon’s album "Music" for being a slept-on, timeless rap album.
  • “There's other rappers I've been a fan of, but their producer absolutely sucked... This is a fucking great album.” (22:54)

5. Personal Growth: Breath Work, Parenting & Emotional Health

[24:00–27:00]

• Shares how he's changed his approach to stress—using breath work instead of angry outbursts, especially around his kids.
  • “I cannot recommend doing breath work and taking away all the shame of all these emotions that they take away from you… Forget about as a man, just as a person.” (25:31)
• Critiques the idea that suppressing emotions equals toughness.
  • “There's times when you have to ignore how you're feeling...and there's other times to cry that shit out.” (24:35)

Memorable Quotes

• On Ostriches & ED:
  “Having wings as a bird but you can't fly is the bird version of like erectile dysfunction. You have a dick but it's not worth...” (02:53, Bill Burr)

• On Relationship Anxiety (responding to Daniel Caesar’s song):
  “If your self-esteem is like on the presser piece there, right…he doesn’t think he’s worth being, you know, getting married to.” (13:30, Bill Burr)

• On Changing How He Handles Stress:
  “I cannot recommend doing breath work and taking away all the shame of all these emotions… I got it. It's out of me. It's gone.” (25:31, Bill Burr)

• On Performing for Diverse Audiences:
  “Funny is funny. I don't give a fuck what your background is, where you're from. Male, female, gay, straight, black, white, whatever. If you're listening to me, I'm making you laugh.” (16:50, Bill Burr)

Sports: In-Game NFL Play-by-Play & Banter

[32:48–96:00+]

• Throughout the podcast, Bill provides comedic play-by-play of the Saints vs. Vikings NFL playoff game, often accompanied by Paul Verzi’s reactions.
  • “How do you let that happen? That could not have just happened.” (91:57, Paul Verzi — after the Minneapolis Miracle)
• Classic Bill Burr tangents on:
  • The evolution of quarterback names (“Used to be Joe vs. Terry, now it’s Case vs. Bryce.”)
  • Nostalgia for old football and athletes’ demeanor (“Did you ever see Jim Brown get up nodding?” 65:47)
  • Mall of America running jokes tied to Vikings’ fans heartbreak
  • Commenting on commercials, water brands, and self-indulgent social media vacations

Comedy, Audience Letters & Relationship Advice

[81:59–113:48]

• Reads and reacts to listener emails, including humorous weight-loss stories, oatmeal cooking tips, and tricky custody situations.
• Offers blunt, comic relationship advice:
  • “I wouldn’t take another ounce of shit from her. You need to sit down and talk to her... I have no professional background, okay?” (94:31–96:23)

Monday Morning NFL Picks Segment

[113:48–end]

• Shifts briefly into the Anything Better Podcast with Paul Verzi and “Jake the Snake” for divisional NFL picks.
• Deep football talk—matchups, injury reports, and betting strategies—delivered with humor and exaggerated confidence.
  • “That’s why we say bet responsibly.” (117:48, Paul Burzey)
• Digressions into NFL history, uniforms, rivalry banter, and old-school player nostalgia.

Timestamps for Key Segments

• Barracudas & Ostriches: 00:53–07:02
• Music Reviews (Daniel Caesar/Billie Eilish): 10:00–17:00
• Relationship Analysis via Song Lyrics: 13:00–15:30
• Personal Growth & Parenting: 24:00–27:00
• NFL Play-by-play & Playoff Game: 32:48–96:00
• Listener Letters & Advice: 81:59–113:48
• NFL Divisional Round Picks (with Paul & Jake): 113:48–end

Tone & Style

• Unfiltered, conversational, equal parts irreverence and insight.
• Rants are punctuated by sudden shifts, absurd analogies, and honest self-reflection.
• Jokes skewed towards sports fans, music geeks, and anyone who enjoys off-kilter life advice.

Notable Moments & Themes

• Animal Metaphors: Ostriches as symbols of untapped potential (and modern malaise).
• Aging & Relationships: Mocking celebrity culture with genuine curiosity about human motives.
• Music as Self-Reflection: Surprising depth in music critique, using lyrics to probe the “presser piece” of self-worth in relationships.
• Sports Obsession: Live NFL reactions become a vehicle for existential venting, bonds with listeners, and critiques of sports culture.
• Emotional Vulnerability: Advocates for embracing vulnerability and moving beyond performative toughness, especially as a parent.
• Comedic Advice: Delivers life tips with a comedic twist, always aware of (and poking fun at) his own credentials.

Conclusion

This episode is vintage Bill Burr: part wild riff, part life coach, part play-by-play comedian. You’ll laugh, you’ll cringe, and you might even rethink your stance on breath work. Whether he’s breaking down an obscure rap album, live-heckling an NFL playoff game, or baring his soul about self-improvement, Burr’s authenticity and razor wit make for a consistently engaging ride.