Josh Homme of Queens of the Stone Age | Thursday Afternoon Monday Morning Podcast 6-19-25

Summary

Monday Morning Podcast Episode Summary Release Date: June 19, 2025

Hosts: Bill Burr and Nia Renée Hill
Special Guest: Josh Homme, Frontman of Queens of the Stone Age

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Introduction and Guest Appearance

[00:11] Bill Burr welcomes listeners to the Thursday Afternoon segment of the Monday Morning Podcast, introducing his special guest, Josh Homme of Queens of the Stone Age. Emphasizing the unique nature of the episode being videotaped, Burr highlights Homme's significance in the rock scene and his new documentary, Under the Catacombs.

Bill Burr: "My guest today is the frontman for arguably the greatest rock band of the last 25 years... Josh Homme from Queens of the Stone Age."

Under the Catacombs Documentary

[00:49] The conversation shifts to Homme’s documentary, Under the Catacombs Alive. Burr expresses fascination with the Parisian catacombs, detailing their macabre beauty and historical significance.

Bill Burr: "Alive in the Catacombs. Which I've been to Paris a couple of times, and I had no idea that that was underneath the city."

Band Dynamics and Tour Life

[02:25] Burr and Hill discuss the psychology of being on tour, noting the camaraderie and internal dynamics of Queens of the Stone Age. Hill mentions that unlike many bands, her group maintains strong bonds, often vacationing together off the road.

Nia Renée Hill: "We actually get along. So we've. We actually get along."

Josh Homme’s Health Struggles

[04:25] The discussion becomes more personal as Hill opens up about her own medical challenges, sharing her experience of being on death's door and the impact it had on her life and career. This segues into conversations about resilience and overcoming adversity.

Nia Renée Hill: "I had to endure something because it's like, are you gonna do it or not?"

Experiences in the Catacombs

[05:35] Homme recounts the arduous process of bringing his band to perform in the catacombs, detailing the logistical challenges and the emotional toll it took. He emphasizes the importance of determination and the sense of accomplishment upon finally realizing the performance.

Nia Renée Hill: "I was told, you know, don't plan on doing anything for two years. And I was like, oh, my God."

Artistic Expression and Overcoming Challenges

[07:25] The hosts delve into the artistic expression showcased in the documentary, highlighting the juxtaposition of beauty and morbidity within the catacombs. They discuss how facing personal struggles can add depth and authenticity to creative endeavors.

Bill Burr: "If you love your job, you never work again down there juggling skulls."

Personal Anecdotes and Humor

[12:33] The conversation takes a lighter turn as Hill shares amusing anecdotes about attending a Broadway show, Cats, with her daughter, highlighting the challenges and humorous moments of supporting her child’s interests.

Nia Renée Hill: "She just takes off like a cat does."

Reflections on Legacy and Mortality

[25:00] Burr reflects philosophically on legacy and mortality, drawing parallels between personal accomplishments and the larger impact artists like Josh Homme have on their audiences. They ponder the fleeting nature of fame and the enduring influence of true artistry.

Bill Burr: "It's easy to love somebody after they're dead and they're not annoying you anymore."

Final Thoughts and Promotional Messages

[47:19] As the episode nears its conclusion, Burr thanks Josh Homme for his participation and promotes Homme’s documentary available on the Criterion Channel. They share heartfelt sentiments about the performance and the enduring bond between the hosts and their guest.

Bill Burr: "Josh Homme, everybody. He is out on the road making up all of those dates. He has an amazing new documentary..."

Closing Remarks

[125:59] The podcast wraps up with a final exchange of goodbyes and light-hearted banter, reinforcing the camaraderie and mutual respect between the hosts and their guest.

Josh Homme: "It's all screw you say from here on out."

Nia Renée Hill: "Ciao."

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Notable Quotes:

• Bill Burr [00:11]: "My guest today is the frontman for arguably the greatest rock band of the last 25 years... Josh Homme from Queens of the Stone Age."

• Nia Renée Hill [02:25]: "We actually get along. So we've. We actually get along."

• Josh Homme [05:35]: "I've been trying to put it together for 20 years. And I was proud to."

• Bill Burr [07:25]: "If you love your job, you never work again down there juggling skulls."

• Nia Renée Hill [12:33]: "She just takes off like a cat does."

• Bill Burr [25:00]: "It's easy to love somebody after they're dead and they're not annoying you anymore."

• Bill Burr [47:19]: "Josh Homme, everybody. He is out on the road making up all of those dates. He has an amazing new documentary."

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Conclusion This episode of the Monday Morning Podcast offers an intimate glimpse into the life and challenges of Josh Homme, juxtaposed with the humor and candidness of Bill Burr and Nia Renée Hill. From grappling with health issues to the artistic triumph of performing in the Parisian catacombs, the conversation is rich with insights, personal anecdotes, and thoughtful reflections on legacy and resilience.

Transcript

[Bill Burr]

Hey, what's going on? It's Bill Byrd. It's time for the Thursday afternoon, just before Friday Monday morning podcast. And I'm just checking in on you. It's too early for me to scream like I usually do. And it's.

[Josh Homme]

Look at this.

[Bill Burr]

It's videotaped. So you know what that means. We're using the latest camcorders here at the studio here. That means I have a very special guest. Only special guests get videotaped. If they're regular, they're regular. No, it's audio only. My guest today is the frontman for arguably the greatest rock band of the last 25 years, in my opinion, Mr. Josh Homme from Queens of the Stone Age. Under the table. That's how it's done. Payola. And he has a new amazing documentary, under the Catacombs.

[Nia Renée Hill]

Alive.

[Bill Burr]

Alive in the Catacombs. Alive in the Catacombs. Which I've been to Paris a couple of times, and I had no idea that that was underneath the city.

[Nia Renée Hill]

It's actually 200 miles of that.

[Bill Burr]

200 miles in the sewer system, essentially. They ran out of places to bury people and just put them underneath.

[Nia Renée Hill]

It was a coal mine, and it's.

[Bill Burr]

All skulls and bones and femurs. All of that stuff sticking out of the walls. And, Josh, decoratively. What a wonderful place.

[Nia Renée Hill]

I love it. Couple throw pillows.

[Bill Burr]

But the thing about it is, is what you were going through yourself, medically, you all, you were kind of at death's door when you were. I don't know how to go into this. It's just.

[Nia Renée Hill]

Jump in.

[Bill Burr]

It's gorgeous. I'm a sucker for black and white. When done right. Not pretentiously, like it means you're playing acoustic. Going into electric for your ballad.

[Nia Renée Hill]

Yeah.

[Bill Burr]

That'S how it was done in the 80s. But the way that you guys did it, and then cutting back and forth, the footage of you guys on tour. One of my favorite things is seeing a band right before they're going on stage.

[Nia Renée Hill]

I think that's the best. I think that's the very best time. It's gotta be the same for walking on stage. For you, it's that moment the lights go out, the intro music is playing, the crowd goes wild. And for one second, everything is perfect. Everyone's happy.

[Bill Burr]

For one second, you're like, I have no business doing this. And, hey, how's everybody doing?

[Nia Renée Hill]

That's the happiest moment, for sure. It's like nothing bad has happened yet, you know?

[Bill Burr]

Yeah. But I also feel like you can see the psychology of the band, everything from. They're going to break up the second this show is done. This is mid tour. This is beginning of the tour. This is the end of the tour. And you guys all looked like. You guys always looks really psyched to. Yeah, to play. And I always. Whenever you guys are around each other, you know, you guys all have like your jokes and you get along. Like. I don't know if that's just from years of being on the road, but the vibe.

[Nia Renée Hill]

Well, some bands don't get along at all.

[Bill Burr]

Oh, yeah.

[Nia Renée Hill]

And famously. And I find that interesting too. But we. We actually get along. So we've. We vacation together, which is a strange thing to take it off tour.

[Bill Burr]

Do you have the stills if you dump water on John?

[Nia Renée Hill]

Lotioning up John, actually from People magazine from afar, you know, just lotioning him up.

[Bill Burr]

No, it's. It's. It's hard enough to get along with one other person. Like, I. When I was coming up and radio was still the big thing, the amount of times that I did morning radio to promote whatever comedy club I was at. And the morning show is so and so and so and so. And you'd go in there and they'd be like, oh, yeah, hey, what's going on? And they would be talking and vibing and then they would go to commercial. And you quickly kind of realized they didn't speak or look at each other and they were sort of talking to each other through you. And you're like, oh, this is a loveless marriage.

[Nia Renée Hill]

Yeah, well, there's a certain amount too, that we. You know, you spend so much time together that it would seem natural that you just go your separate ways. But we just. I think it's because each member came at a different time. And so you're slowly finding the right puzzle piece and locking it in.

[Bill Burr]

Right.

[Nia Renée Hill]

And it's communication, Bill.

[Bill Burr]

It is.

[Nia Renée Hill]

This is what I've learned.

[Bill Burr]

You just have to say in a positive way, well, how did the. The whole idea. When did that come about? I know just what I know about you. The second you saw those skulls and bones, you're like, oh, yeah, I gotta play that gig. The sewers of. With dead bodies. I was born to do this.

[Nia Renée Hill]

Well, it actually, I remember learning about the catacombs in a book when I was like eight, you know, and just being fascinated. Just that it seems so taboo. Like you're stacking bodies and you're doing, you know, geometric designs with them. At first I thought, are you allowed to do that? You know, it seems like a bit of a dick move until you see it.

[Bill Burr]

And then it walks the line of respect and artful. And then sort of serial killer, necrophiliac.

[Nia Renée Hill]

Yes. Like, what are you doing, Gary? Oh, I'm just stacking them, you know, and it's like, there's heart done into hearts and stuff like that, where it's.

[Bill Burr]

Like, if you love your job, you never work again down there juggling skulls.

[Nia Renée Hill]

What are you doing?

[Bill Burr]

I'm on break doing a little soft shoe with a femur. But it is, like. It's typical Paris, where it's like, everything's art. Even that is gorgeous. Even that is gorgeous.

[Nia Renée Hill]

So, well, we're all going to deal with it, too. So I think so much of the time here, you've never, like, don't think about death. Let's talk about. Do you want to. Have you seen that new Miss Impossible movie instead? It's just. And, I mean, I had no way of knowing that I would be sort of dealing on death's door myself, and. Which made it really strange to be there.

[Bill Burr]

How long did. I don't know if you want to get into what the.

[Nia Renée Hill]

I mean, not too deep, but. But. But a little bit. I was. You know, it made it really.

[Bill Burr]

Like, doctors were telling you to get off the road.

[Nia Renée Hill]

They didn't know what I had. So they were. They were sort of giving me advice based on being incorrect. And so, of course, they were like, you know, play it safe. But everyone cancels, man. Everyone cancels. It drives me crazy. And by the time we got to Paris, I knew the tour was over. The band knew that I couldn't go any further. I just wanted it so bad. We've been trying to put it together for 20 years, you know, and almost like. Excuse me, almost.

[Bill Burr]

You've wanted to play that gig for 20 years.

[Nia Renée Hill]

I've been trying to put it together for 20 years. And it would get close, and then it would go away, and it was.

[Bill Burr]

Almost like, what would make it go schedules? Or was Paris just like, hey, you.

[Nia Renée Hill]

Know, yeah, ask him. And then you go ask someone else and be like, ask her. You know, just get in the runaround and you give up for a second. And then, you know, it would be like, paris is on the. On the. On the tour schedule. And I would say, well, time to take another run at this, you know? And I almost stopped believing that it would be possible until we met this guy that they had this show called Album of the Week that. Where you just play your record on television there, which is a novel idea, but he played Cupid and sort of got us in the right hands finally. But I knew it would go away if we didn't do it. And I just thought it physically hurts, but that's gonna go away. That's gonna go away. But this will last hopefully forever, you know? And I. And if I'm honest, it made it cooler having to go through something because it's like, are you gonna do it or not? Are you gonna. Are you gonna quit or not?

[Bill Burr]

Right.

[Nia Renée Hill]

And I felt good about. I honestly felt like, no, I'm gonna. I can do this. It made me. It made me feel like I was. It added a layer of importance to it that I. And that I wouldn't say enjoyed, but I was proud to.

[Bill Burr]

So when you finally get on. I can't even say on stage. When you get under the Underground. Underground. Underground.

[Nia Renée Hill]

Seriously.

[Josh Homme]

Underground.

[Bill Burr]

In the sewer system. And the show is actually happening. Something that people have told me, like, when I'm gonna go do something, they always go, make sure you take it in. Make sure you enjoy it. And I'm always jealous because I feel like with music, you can kind of do that when someone else is taking a solo. You can kind of strum along and look where, like, comedy, it's like, I can't take it in because I have to. I made you laugh. Now I got to keep the momentum.

[Nia Renée Hill]

But I would say that there's got. There's certainly. There's many moments, and maybe you almost don't realize them because you're so in it, where you're not thinking about anything else and you're not thinking about the past, the future. You're just there right in the center of your feet, and it's happening. And I like that a lot. I like that feeling of everything else is chased away. And I don't. I don't think.

[Bill Burr]

Can you do that naturally. Do you have to play a game with yourself mentally? Like, is the grind of the road?

[Nia Renée Hill]

Well, you know, you're. It's. It's a bit like, you know, dodgeball. Sometimes I get hit with it and sometimes I don't, you know?

[Josh Homme]

Yes.

[Nia Renée Hill]

But I'm always trying to be in the moment like that. And I. I think because of what was going on, I was so focused. Plus, we did. We did.

[Bill Burr]

I might not get out of these. I might. Well, I might be part of this wall.

[Nia Renée Hill]

I mean, I started saying, wouldn't it be ironic if something. If this really took a bad. There was one moment. There was one moment. We have the song Villains of Circumstance. It was the third Song we did. And there's one moment, and they actually caught it in the doc part where I got such a searing pain. I was like, excuse me, I'm going to take a minute. And I had to get up, and I thought, oh, my God, I'm going to. I started sweating, and I was like, I can't do this. I'm going to have to tell everyone. We're going to go. Can you do that? Can you tell everyone to go? What would they say? I'm like, having this dialog, and it hurt so bad. It was so specific and acute.

[Bill Burr]

You almost became that short list of performers who died on stage.

[Nia Renée Hill]

But what a great way to go. I mean, if you had to, I also would do. Okay, so what would be your top three?

[Bill Burr]

It's your last laugh. Because people.

[Nia Renée Hill]

I don't know about that. You get the last laugh.

[Bill Burr]

Well, back when Prat Falls were so common, if you drop dead as a comedian on stage back in the day, people thought, oh, right.

[Nia Renée Hill]

Remember the English? What was the English guy that used to wear the fez?

[Bill Burr]

Yes, I saw that the other day. Oh, my God.

[Nia Renée Hill]

So crazy. And everyone. He has a massive coronary.

[Bill Burr]

Everyone thinks he's joking, and then he's going like. And they're going second, so they're, like, laughing. And then he just kind of. No, I don't think he topples over. He kind of.

[Nia Renée Hill]

He kind of crumpled.

[Bill Burr]

It's like when they implode a building and they up and, like, the bottom goes. It just sort of sits there to the side.

[Josh Homme]

All right.

[Nia Renée Hill]

Oh, that's.

[Bill Burr]

Well, it was going to be dark, dude.

[Nia Renée Hill]

Okay, well, then what's the top? What's the top? I'll tell you, my top three, I think on stage would be a very poetic one, so I'd have to throw that in there. The other one, I'm okay with a nuclear blast. Because you're with your family. You all go at the same time, you hope. Well, I'm scenario.

[Bill Burr]

I always do that. I'm by myself in a hotel room. It's like, da na na da da da.

[Nia Renée Hill]

Kojak rerun at a Motel 6. No, this isn't my perfect world, Right? And it probably would look amazing because you just be. You'd say to yourself, wow, look at that. And then that hot, icy wind. I love that it's hot and icy. That hot wind, you know, just blows a shack.

[Bill Burr]

Right? Now you're doing it. You're doing. You're doing a. A promo. Well, what was that thing? Did you see that on the Internet, where this. These people were filming this explosion, and it just kept getting bigger and bigger. So they're doing the whole, whoa, whoa, whoa. And then it keeps coming, and then it's like, we got to get the fuck out of here. What? I don't know what it was.

[Nia Renée Hill]

Watching such the same stuff. Oh, my God.

[Bill Burr]

It is. I think because we're friends, they just send the same shit. So we have something to talk about. Bill says, yeah, and this whole relationship.

[Nia Renée Hill]

Doesn'T crumble like the bomb footage that we were watching.

[Bill Burr]

Our relationship is just the common things we watched on Instagram. Did you see the hyena get eaten by. Why? As a matter of fact, I did. Some nerd.

[Nia Renée Hill]

Well, what would. Would you have a. What would be in your list? Is there anything that would be in your list of ways to. You don't like my nuclear?

[Bill Burr]

There's.

[Nia Renée Hill]

You don't like it?

[Bill Burr]

No, I just always picture myself with my family surrounding my bed, and I just tell them how much I love them. I asked him if I did a good job. They say, yeah. And I give him. Just, you know, that's happening. Yeah, it's a fantasy or. No, I don't have any. Like, you know, I thought yours would.

[Nia Renée Hill]

Be like my third one, which is, you know, I don't golf or anything, but I imagine myself with a cigar, golfing, going, God damn. Yelling, and I just fall. Massive corner. He dies on the spot. I don't put my hands down, and I just slide to a halt. And that's it.

[Bill Burr]

He died doing what he loved. Blaming his clubs.

[Nia Renée Hill]

Yelling.

[Bill Burr]

No, I want the.

[Nia Renée Hill]

You'd be yelling, too.

[Bill Burr]

I want the borderline natural causes. And, like, I don't have natural adjacency. I don't need some evil Knievel. I'm jumping. I got a cape on. Right before I do it. I give everybody, this is how you live, and this is how you die. I don't have any of that. Like, I don't want to die on stage. I would like to be. I would like to be. I would like to be retired. I would like to have the courage to walk away from this business at some point and just, you know, hang out with my lovely wife and.

[Nia Renée Hill]

But is there a need to ever. I think about this for music, too. It's like, it's. No, that's not. Like, it's not like, you know, you're an underwater welder where it's like, I think I've. I've, you know, rolled the dice enough times.

[Bill Burr]

There's no real Reason my elbow's given out from holding the mic. I just can't fucking do it.

[Nia Renée Hill]

You can't do it anymore?

[Bill Burr]

I'm in constant pain. No, I think Icy Hot, Shaq. Icy Hot. Yeah, it makes the. Yeah, it doesn't do anything. It numbs the problem.

[Nia Renée Hill]

Yeah.

[Bill Burr]

And then you run out of the Icy Hot and then you got to put another one on or else. Because it doesn't fix your elbow.

[Nia Renée Hill]

It goes fast too, that Icy Hot.

[Bill Burr]

Yeah.

[Nia Renée Hill]

But I, I, there's no real reason to retire. Like, what to do what? You could still do an occasional show. It could just.

[Bill Burr]

You know, my grandmother volunteered at a hospital in like the thing and she made people coffee and everything. And it was just such a small, simple life after, like traveling all around. Like, I, there's something about like living in a small town and just being able. There's never any traffic downtown.

[Nia Renée Hill]

Yeah.

[Bill Burr]

And waving to people that you know and then just going down there and making people grilled cheese sandwiches and coffee.

[Nia Renée Hill]

Yeah. I'd like to exotic dance for the.

[Bill Burr]

Elder and then feel that weird feel. Kilo.

[Nia Renée Hill]

Exotic dancing for the elderly, though.

[Bill Burr]

Yeah.

[Nia Renée Hill]

You know, I don't want to have to like, know how to do it too much. Like a little captive audience.

[Bill Burr]

Little symbols in your hands.

[Nia Renée Hill]

Yeah.

[Bill Burr]

Little belly dancing, you know, just off.

[Nia Renée Hill]

The cheek and just a little.

[Bill Burr]

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[Josh Homme]

You know, you want to get 8 hours without getting murdered.

[Bill Burr]

That's what Simplisafe gives me, peace of mind. I've been using it for a while now and it's honestly changed how I.

[Josh Homme]

Think about home security.

[Bill Burr]

To be honest with you, I never really thought about it until I had a wife and kids. And then I was just like, you know what? I don't feel safe. I wish there was a way to feel safe in a simple way. And then along came Simplisafe. You see that? You put it out to universe and oh boy, oh boy, there they are. That's what simply safe gives me. Most security systems only take action after someone breaks in. Yeah, they show up.

[Josh Homme]

You alright?

[Bill Burr]

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[Josh Homme]

Monitoring.

[Bill Burr]

Monitoring plans start at around a dollar a day, 60 day money back guarantee. Visit simplysafe.com burr to claim 50% off a new system with a professional monitoring plan and get your first month for free. That's simply safe.coms, i m, P L I S A F E. There's no safe like simply safe. Well, you got. You guys came out to the show last night. I was worried that you didn't make.

[Nia Renée Hill]

It because we bought we overbought tickets.

[Bill Burr]

You overbought tickets?

[Nia Renée Hill]

Yeah, we had section over here if it looked a little empty. That was me.

[Bill Burr]

Was that your first Broadway show? Have you been to other ones?

[Nia Renée Hill]

I have been to other ones.

[Bill Burr]

Cats.

[Nia Renée Hill]

Oh God. Fucking hate cats so much, man.

[Bill Burr]

Somebody's gotta like it.

[Nia Renée Hill]

It went on for so long, I can't. And I think my daughter. This is how much I love my daughter.

[Bill Burr]

Mushrooms. We take mushrooms.

[Nia Renée Hill]

Oh, that okay.

[Bill Burr]

Of course I would do. But we see Cats.

[Nia Renée Hill]

Of course. But that's team bonding.

[Bill Burr]

And then we get it.

[Nia Renée Hill]

Oh, we get it.

[Bill Burr]

And then we finally get it.

[Nia Renée Hill]

This is how much I love my daughter. She was in a production of Cats. That's what we'd be doing in the audience.

[Bill Burr]

Oh, the whole fucking re.

[Nia Renée Hill]

Rub my hand. That's how much I love my daughter. She was in a production of Cats, which is the thing I dislike the most. And she was in this production of it and she was so cute. She got stage frightened. She's little, like nine or something. She comes out, she goes to do a line, she does her line and then turns, sees the audience and just freezes.

[Bill Burr]

The white room.

[Nia Renée Hill]

Yeah, the white room turns. You know, she's like a cat doing the body position. But then she just takes off like a cat does. And I went to both showings of this because I just. I endured the cats thing because I just, you know. Yeah, she was my little. She's my little feline. And I just.

[Bill Burr]

Wow, dude, seeing an amateur production of Cats.

[Nia Renée Hill]

I mean, that does smash my dick with a hammer.

[Bill Burr]

No, but I'm saying as a dad, dude, that's big.

[Nia Renée Hill]

Oh, that took a. That took a lot. Yeah, that took a lot.

[Bill Burr]

I saw. I saw a fourth grade production of Cats. Oh, I don't want to hear it. Go. Clear. Go clean your room.

[Nia Renée Hill]

Oh my God.

[Bill Burr]

So are You. You're in the middle of a tour right now.

[Nia Renée Hill]

It's true. Yeah.

[Bill Burr]

You look great, by the way.

[Nia Renée Hill]

I feel. I feel really good.

[Bill Burr]

You do. You're in.

[Nia Renée Hill]

You're in.

[Bill Burr]

You're fucking jacked. You know, you got. You got it all. It's all thin now. For the right reasons. Broccoli.

[Nia Renée Hill]

Yeah.

[Bill Burr]

Not heroin.

[Nia Renée Hill]

We had dinner last night. I ate very well last night.

[Bill Burr]

You did.

[Nia Renée Hill]

No more.

[Bill Burr]

You had octopus. It hurt a little bit. I'm one of those people. I saw that documentary where that dude made friends with an octopus. I swear to God, you watch enough of those. If I see one more cow free.

[Nia Renée Hill]

You stopped eating whale, too, after blackfish.

[Bill Burr]

Yeah, I definitely did that. But, you know, I do have a gig coming up in Tokyo. I don't. I wish I did. No, I saw. I see, like, these videos of. We probably watched the same video of, like, these dairy cows that have never been outside. And then they get freed. They go out into the field. They act like fucking dogs. Like, I had no idea they had that. They're, like, jumping around.

[Nia Renée Hill]

Yeah. All excited, just free. Yeah.

[Bill Burr]

Have you seen the ones where they like jazz? Cows like jazz? I think it's just the horn sounds like somebody mooing. It sounds exotic to them. So I think they're coming over there.

[Nia Renée Hill]

Strange mooing.

[Josh Homme]

Yeah.

[Bill Burr]

They're coming over there to get banged. And everybody's like, oh, my God, they love Coltrane. It's like.

[Josh Homme]

I don't think. I don't think they do.

[Bill Burr]

I think it kind of sounds like a cow because it's always a saxophone and whatever. That. That lower one. And they all just kind of go like, oh, who the fuck's that? And they all come running over.

[Nia Renée Hill]

But it's cute to see him bump and jump like that a little bit.

[Josh Homme]

So.

[Bill Burr]

It's amazing. It's amazing. I. I don't.

[Nia Renée Hill]

Till I get hungry, and then I'm just like, oh, whatever. Okay. Yeah, I saw a thing I octopused last night. I don't feel anything about that. I feel okay about that.

[Bill Burr]

Yeah, that was.

[Nia Renée Hill]

You know, you were kind of shooting me some evils there over the table.

[Bill Burr]

I didn't. I just thought, you know, like, I kind of felt. You know. This is an expression of his childhood. This has nothing to do with the.

[Nia Renée Hill]

Why I'm screaming. Don't get caught. Don't get caught.

[Bill Burr]

No, this is on you, bro. You got eight arms. I think it caught. You only had two. I mean, what the.

[Nia Renée Hill]

Yeah, you could have. Couldn't have got away.

[Bill Burr]

I saw this video one time, this guy, this farmer had this cow, right? We had a bunch of cows and they were. They. In the morning, they were all, like, beat up. Like they'd been slapped around or some shit, like in some sort of. Yeah. And.

[Nia Renée Hill]

So tell me where the milk is.

[Bill Burr]

Yes. So he thought it was some wild animal doing it. And it turned out it was one of the other cows or one of the steers. I don't know what was coming in. It was just being a.

[Nia Renée Hill]

There's always a bully in everybody.

[Bill Burr]

Yeah. So then he's like, all right, I got to separate this thing and keep it chill so it doesn't know I'm gonna kill it so it doesn't make the meat taste bad. So we fucking.

[Nia Renée Hill]

So the fear isn't in sort of running through the meat.

[Bill Burr]

Yes. So they're just sitting there like, oh, those leaves are brown. And then bang, right? So he fucking takes this cow out. And then for whatever reason, he had, like, a little mini front end loader and he tied the back legs to the front bucket.

[Nia Renée Hill]

Oh, no.

[Bill Burr]

And then they raised the thing up and it's, like, dead. And then he starts butchering this thing. And I was.

[Nia Renée Hill]

It's a fence.

[Bill Burr]

It was so fucking gross. But once the skin and the guts were gone and he started cutting the steaks, my mouth watered.

[Nia Renée Hill]

Yeah, that's.

[Bill Burr]

So I didn't know. I didn't know how I felt about that. So I was like, well, wait a minute. Like.

[Nia Renée Hill]

Well, they do say, you know, like, when you have the connection. John was talking about this Theodore last night. He was saying that, you know, he's out in Martha's Vineyard and he's doing a lot of fishing.

[Bill Burr]

Oh, yeah. He looked like he had a nice tan going. Everything was. He was looking very.

[Nia Renée Hill]

But he was talking about when you pull in a big fish, you know, you need to. Right away, you know, take care of it because you don't want it to suffer and you need to. You need to take. You gotta gaff it right away. And he was saying how at first he was, like, kind of clutching his pearls and. But then he got this relationship with that. They're eating the whole. He's eating the whole fish. He's taking it home. It's like all this.

[Bill Burr]

That asking for it.

[Nia Renée Hill]

The. It just wouldn't listen. It's take. You know, he's taking the. He's. Hey, you're getting this connection.

[Bill Burr]

Swim around with no clothes on, you know?

[Nia Renée Hill]

Yeah.

[Bill Burr]

You're tempting fate. Sorry, I keep interrupting.

[Nia Renée Hill]

No, no, but he was Just saying he had gotten this better understanding, you know? I mean, I think when you do some of that stuff, you definitely get. I don't know what the fuck I'm saying.

[Bill Burr]

Yeah. Somebody took me bow fishing one time after an acting game.

[Nia Renée Hill]

What a weird addition to fishing. Is it bow fishing?

[Bill Burr]

Bow fishing? Yeah.

[Nia Renée Hill]

Like, what an unnecessary, you know, addition of hardness.

[Bill Burr]

Well, I. I ended up. We didn't eat any of it. So then I stopped. That's what I didn't like. And somebody on the thing was goes, all right, let's go kill some shit. And I'm thinking in my head, but we're gonna eat this stuff, right? So we were out, I don't know, some bayou.

[Nia Renée Hill]

Yeah.

[Bill Burr]

I don't.

[Nia Renée Hill]

I don't get the trophy thing.

[Bill Burr]

Yeah. And the guy had the flashlight, this New Orleans guy. Right. He had a flashlight. He go, right there. Right that, right there.

[Nia Renée Hill]

Go and kill it.

[Bill Burr]

And then. Yeah, you would.

[Nia Renée Hill]

And I don't get that trophy thing. I don't. It's. It's. You know, it's not good to know.

[Bill Burr]

That I could do, like, I. I guess I could, you know, if I was in a plane crash and somehow had packed a bow and arrow and it didn't.

[Nia Renée Hill]

Didn't snap on through luggage.

[Bill Burr]

Yeah. Carry on. And that. I could. I forget which way. I think you aim a little below it because it's the illusion of, like, the water.

[Nia Renée Hill]

Right.

[Bill Burr]

But, like, there was that caveman thing that you felt like you did something as a man. I provided. But then once it was just this wasteful thing.

[Nia Renée Hill]

I was fishing. It's such a weird additional heart.

[Bill Burr]

Well, new evidence shows that they did, in fact, do that.

[Nia Renée Hill]

Do some boat.

[Bill Burr]

Yeah. They had crocs, too.

[Nia Renée Hill]

Yeah.

[Bill Burr]

The original crocs were made out of wood.

[Nia Renée Hill]

Wood were made out of crocs.

[Bill Burr]

Yeah. And then they went one of two ways. They went wood in the Netherlands, and over here, they were plastic.

[Nia Renée Hill]

Yeah. Somehow.

[Josh Homme]

Yep.

[Bill Burr]

Which leads us back to the catacombs.

[Nia Renée Hill]

George. Yeah, it does. George Carlin did. He said he had that great line was like, maybe the earth wanted plastic. Do you remember this?

[Bill Burr]

Yeah. That was when he. When he was in his dark, dark, dark, cynical years. I know. And I kind of loved it. And a lot of people were like, you just look at angry old man. It's like, no, dude. And he was right.

[Nia Renée Hill]

But his attacks were so. So perfectly calculated. And everyone got some.

[Bill Burr]

And then.

[Nia Renée Hill]

And then he wrote that beautiful letter when his wife died. Then he. I thought for sure this is going to be the darkest, most angry Letter. It was like he, you know, wrote an editorial. It was just a letter and it was the most beautiful, eloquent. We need to love more and do this stuff. But not, but better said than whatever I just said.

[Bill Burr]

And I bet when he died she was like, why didn't you say that when I was alive?

[Nia Renée Hill]

Yeah, for sure, for sure.

[Bill Burr]

It's really easy to love somebody after they're dead and they're not annoying you anymore.

[Nia Renée Hill]

Yeah, for sure.

[Bill Burr]

Here's this, here's the I wished I said. Well, speaking of that, my family's, they're coming, they're coming for like the final week of this thing. I'm, I'm really seen.

[Nia Renée Hill]

Has she been out to see anything yet or.

[Bill Burr]

She's been so ridiculously supportive throughout this.

[Nia Renée Hill]

Whole thing because it's been a while. It was really, really good. I, I, I know you don't like compliments, but.

[Bill Burr]

No, no, I, I do, I, I, well with stuff that I'm not sure about. So. Yeah, to hear that, that it was.

[Nia Renée Hill]

No, I, I was blown away. And I also just, I, I, this actually plays in the catacombs too. Lately I've been like something camped shouldn't be too long. You either say, man, I wish there was more or I wish this was over and there's nothing in between. Yeah, it was such a well timed, you know, I, I such a big stretch too. You got just all these guys yelling at each other up there was amazing.

[Bill Burr]

No people going like, oh my God, you really made this Dave Moss guy. Like, you know, you really made it your own and everything. I was like everybody I grew up with talked like that and I keep saying if you actually want me, if you want me to act, to have me play a, a laid back surfer from San Diego, then if I, I would like that that would be like. But you know, you want me to play some guy that's wound up in saying the wrong things. But what I do like about, I do like, what I do love about it is the, the over talking.

[Nia Renée Hill]

Yeah.

[Bill Burr]

And figuring that out with like timing of that.

[Nia Renée Hill]

That's what my mind. Because I went and watched the movie last night after dinner again just to, just to get even.

[Bill Burr]

I can't wait to watch it again. I can't wait to watch it again.

[Nia Renée Hill]

It's fucking great. You said you were talking about, you know, Jack Lemmon. Jack Lemmon was so incredible. The way he's flipping into salesman mode and then coming back to it and his desperation and to the daughter the.

[Bill Burr]

Flare ups of anger.

[Nia Renée Hill]

Yeah.

[Bill Burr]

Of like that, that thing.

[Nia Renée Hill]

And a lot of it was from insecurity, too. He's like, got his moment where he thinks he's on top of the world.

[Bill Burr]

Yeah.

[Nia Renée Hill]

And then he had these, you know, other, other herniations of anger. He was fucking incredible.

[Bill Burr]

Well, and I also think, you know, where they were saying how it used to be dark and now people, it's like, like are laughing watching it. I mean, we're definitely doing it.

[Nia Renée Hill]

It got a lot of laughs.

[Bill Burr]

Well, it's a great script, but I feel like it's. It's like gallows humor that everybody can now relate to. I put the best years of my life into your company, and now I'm finding out how expendable I am.

[Nia Renée Hill]

Absolutely.

[Bill Burr]

And I don't mean anything to you.

[Nia Renée Hill]

Yeah. And why did I. Yeah, yeah.

[Bill Burr]

Like you're throwing me out like, you know, an old yesterday's newspaper. Like, what did my life mean? And, and also to have that done to you by somebody younger.

[Nia Renée Hill]

Yeah.

[Bill Burr]

Is something like, you know, my. Our whole generation, the amount of people that I know that are in their 50s that help build a major part of a company for profit and they just don't want to pay them.

[Nia Renée Hill]

Yeah.

[Bill Burr]

And now that they sort of.

[Nia Renée Hill]

And they bring in a new. The new guard in the, in their.

[Bill Burr]

20S, they sort of have the Ferrari, you know, ready to go on the track and they just go, oh, you take him out and we'll put this 20 something. And then they, the 20 person, 20 something year old person, they don't give them any money and they just, you know, keep it on the track and we'll be fine. I think that that's why it's. It's been getting the laughs that it does. But like, I've always been envious.

[Nia Renée Hill]

I was actually surprised. I mean, I laughed a bunch too, but I. It was so across the board. The whole audience was laughing, especially, you know, your big monologue. What was great is that you guys are talking over each other. Michael McKeon is so good and how he holds back on these beats. But the way you're trying to convince him to break into the office.

[Bill Burr]

Oh, yeah.

[Nia Renée Hill]

And did I say that? You know, that whole two salesmen trying to sell each other.

[Bill Burr]

Here's the other thing is I come out and my, my character says all of this, you know, racist. Right in the beginning. So the crowd.

[Nia Renée Hill]

Hell. Right.

[Bill Burr]

Doesn't like me. Oh, yeah, I'll listen. You know, there was some stuff that they'd taken out of the play a long time ago, and now they put it back in because it was like, you know, in different periods of time. It was considered, like, too harsh. But I feel like there's enough time separated now that you're like, wow, this is. How boorish.

[Nia Renée Hill]

Yeah, this is who this guy is. I don't like taking of stuff out. I don't think whitewashing it makes it any better. It's like you're supposed to always like your character. He's the biggest dick in the room.

[Bill Burr]

Yes. But the thing in the beginning when I was doing, I was sort of rushing through that a little bit because people were pulling back. And then I think I was. And when I was first doing it, there was. There was an element of me apologizing for this guy. And then I finally figured I was like, no, I have to be this guy.

[Nia Renée Hill]

You're supposed to hate this guy.

[Bill Burr]

But. But you're supposed to. But what I do love is those racist moments get the right laugh.

[Nia Renée Hill]

Right.

[Bill Burr]

They're like laughing at how stupid. How stupid.

[Nia Renée Hill]

Yeah.

[Bill Burr]

And my favorite line that he says that really sums up white racism is when he talks about the Indians and he says they like to feel superior.

[Nia Renée Hill]

Yeah.

[Bill Burr]

And that's literally what he's doing.

[Nia Renée Hill]

Yeah. He's trying to do.

[Bill Burr]

He goes in as a white guy talking to these Indian people, and he immediately feels I am, I am superior.

[Josh Homme]

I am.

[Bill Burr]

And I am automatically smarter because I am white. And God thinks I am the best because this is what other white people told me. And God never said that. So he goes in there and these people have like their own businesses. I can't trick them.

[Nia Renée Hill]

Yeah. I can't trick. But the whole thing is I can't trick them.

[Bill Burr]

I can't trick them out of the, out of their life savings. And then my takeaway from that is not like, wow, these people are hard working, smart.

[Nia Renée Hill]

They're not taking. I can't trick them.

[Bill Burr]

Yeah. I look at it like, oh, you like to feel like, look at this person thinking they're superior to me when.

[Nia Renée Hill]

They are, because my shit doesn't work.

[Josh Homme]

Yeah.

[Nia Renée Hill]

When they are.

[Bill Burr]

So that's what, like I had been doing that line, you know, for like a month. And I just knew. I'm like, there's. There's something more to this that I'm not. And I finally had to, like, think like, why is he saying, you know, and.

[Nia Renée Hill]

And then it's so, are you enjoying the nuance you were talking the other day that there were times that you, you guys are. Because you've been doing it, that you, you're playing it a little different for each other. Are you enjoying the nuance part of it the most?

[Bill Burr]

Yeah, no, that, like, when he throws it back differently. Yeah, I love when he does that. Or like, different reactions and stuff. And that's good, too, because it. It makes you present. And then also if, like.

[Nia Renée Hill]

Yeah. It keeps you back in the moment.

[Bill Burr]

And if you stay in the way that you did it every time, then there become. You almost go into robot mode, and then all of a sudden, you lifted your eyebrow up and you never did that before. Yeah, that causes a brain fart. And then I'll lose a line like, what the just happened there? And then I'm just. I. I've noticed that a couple of times where I, I, I, I then was like, okay, this is how it works. And then I have a good point. So I did that for a few shows in a row, and then Michael threw the ball a little bit different, and I almost missed it. And I was like, all right, dude, you can't do that. You. You got to make sure every time. So I've been using, like, different things to kind of motivate, you know, every night to be this upset about Mitch and Murray. I just use whatever I'm thinking about that day. Like, I, I relate to Mitch and Murray up their good thing. The way streaming services came in to Hollywood.

[Nia Renée Hill]

Right.

[Bill Burr]

And took an already difficult business and just put it in their pocket.

[Nia Renée Hill]

Yeah.

[Bill Burr]

And then they go, you know, the business is shrinking. Yeah. Into your pocket.

[Nia Renée Hill]

Yeah.

[Bill Burr]

Like, how much?

[Nia Renée Hill]

Like, it's like, because now they own everything.

[Bill Burr]

Yeah.

[Josh Homme]

The greed.

[Nia Renée Hill]

They buy greed.

[Bill Burr]

And the coldness.

[Nia Renée Hill]

Nothing.

[Josh Homme]

Yeah.

[Bill Burr]

And the coldness of it.

[Nia Renée Hill]

That is just same thing in the music business.

[Bill Burr]

Like, because. Because there was a point, like, it was always harsh and to see that someone could come along and be like, oh, that's not harsh.

[Nia Renée Hill]

Yeah, this.

[Bill Burr]

Oh, this is. This is beyond, like, the new Satan. Yeah. So I kind of like, you know, I have the idea in my head, like, when I picture those guys, because they have. Downstairs on the wall, they have, like, you know, you know, the ideas of, like, who would play them if they were in the movie or whatever, if they were in the play. And for me, it has to be people I know.

[Nia Renée Hill]

You know, who you got then?

[Bill Burr]

Well, I could tell you off air.

[Nia Renée Hill]

Oh, yeah.

[Bill Burr]

Well, it's like, people.

[Nia Renée Hill]

What I would go back to then is the tinkering.

[Bill Burr]

It's. It's those. It's the. Those people that are, like, they're just in a position of power, and they don't handle it well.

[Nia Renée Hill]

Yeah, yeah.

[Bill Burr]

And you just see who. See who the they are. And they're sitting across from that. And it's. What's funny to me, though, is how I maintain my composure. It's like, oh, this guy thinks he's driving the bus. And it's just like, we're all in show business. We're all on the hood, hanging onto the hood ornament like Indiana Jones. And eventually that breaks off and you go underneath. It's like the thing that you're helping to build.

[Nia Renée Hill]

Yeah.

[Bill Burr]

Is going to drive you over. I mean, what you can say about all of us who went to these streaming services and helped them put everything else.

[Nia Renée Hill]

Well, but we have to go somewhere.

[Bill Burr]

Yeah, I know. I know.

[Nia Renée Hill]

We had.

[Bill Burr]

We should have seen what they were doing.

[Nia Renée Hill]

Yeah. But I. But, you know, again, it's almost like the recycling discussion. It's like one person is powerless to make a big change. You know, it's like you can't take on. What are you specifically supposed to do? And what. I can't do anything about the fact that record business went to Apple and.

[Bill Burr]

Spotify and, you know, and some nerd in Sweden.

[Nia Renée Hill]

How am I still.

[Bill Burr]

Is that billionaire still saying he's not making any money?

[Nia Renée Hill]

Yeah, well, I'm sitting there on the end of my bed going, going, law. Law. Sorry, Law. It's like, why can't you fix the record business? And it's like, what? Law. What? Yeah, I can't.

[Bill Burr]

I can't do both of those things.

[Nia Renée Hill]

You know, I can't. I can barely do one of these things.

[Bill Burr]

Don't you feel lucky, though, that you started in this business when you did?

[Nia Renée Hill]

I feel like we're one of the last bands that got in the door before it shut.

[Bill Burr]

Somehow I feel like that is.

[Nia Renée Hill]

We're not. We're not. It's not that we're not huge. But that's not my desire either, is to be. I don't want to be. I don't want the responsibility of being massive. And I want to be able to pivot and make art and switch everything up and.

[Bill Burr]

Right.

[Nia Renée Hill]

You know, I. There's always people that are like, you're so much better, but that's. That's, you know, I expect that someone's gonna say that.

[Bill Burr]

I get that all the time.

[Nia Renée Hill]

Yeah. But I don't worry about that. I don't care. I don't care. I mean, that's just like saying, why can't you do the same thing you always did?

[Bill Burr]

And then if you do that Then it's like he does the same thing every time.

[Nia Renée Hill]

One trick pony. None of that. You know, I've always maintained that if 15% of the people don't hate your new thing, you suck, you know.

[Bill Burr]

Oh, that's a good one. What I do is whenever something comes out, I just read until the first negative comment, and then I just do the math and be like, all right. You know, it was 10 to 15 good ones. And one guy said, you know, I don't do the. This guy, you know, shouldn't even be in this business anymore.

[Nia Renée Hill]

I don't do any comments because I think I can presuppose what the. What the best. The best of and the worst of. They're both. They're wrong. You know what I mean? It's like it's somewhere I kind of like the best. Yeah. Yeah. I just stay away from it, you know, because I. It doesn't make me feel. It never makes me feel better, but it could make me feel worse, and so I just stay away from that.

[Bill Burr]

Well, I gotta say, whatever you guys are doing, and I talked about this on my podcast before I saw you guys. The last time I saw you guys was the end of your last tour, I believe, and you were at the Forum in la. And I came down and you hooked me up. Thank you. And I'm. And I. And I. I was like, okay, you know, Josh is going through it and, you know, his health and everything. This is the last show. There is going to be an element of people thinking about, you know, their flight home, going to see their family. There's going to be a detachment. And you guys came out like, just. It was one of the top concerts I've ever been to. To have that be the last show on the tour. You guys fucking murdered.

[Nia Renée Hill]

Thank you.

[Bill Burr]

And I got, like, such a. I get, like such a. Like, I don't have to watch another comedian kill to get inspired. And that was like one of those shows that just has stayed with me. I mean, I can't keep track of time, you know, how many years ago was that? I still.

[Nia Renée Hill]

I have no idea.

[Bill Burr]

Think about that. It was the end of. It was around Christmas.

[Nia Renée Hill]

Yeah.

[Bill Burr]

Maybe two years ago. Yeah. And.

[Nia Renée Hill]

But, you know, but that.

[Bill Burr]

Well, yeah, I came home like. Like gobsmacked or whatever, if I'm using that word correctly. I just came home and I was talking to Nia and she goes, how was that? I was just. That might have been the. Not only the best they ever sounded. That was one of the best concerts. I said that Last night it was like top three. And Michael was like, what are the first. What are the other two? I'm like Stevie Ray Vaughan. And then my first concert ever when I saw Judas Priest with Dawkins.

[Nia Renée Hill]

I love that as a first concert. That's a good first concert.

[Bill Burr]

Oh yeah. Just because that was my. Like, I'm a part of it. I'm at a concert, they're. We're doing a call and response and I'm. I'm. I'm in this thing.

[Nia Renée Hill]

What was my first. My first concert was.

[Bill Burr]

Was Captain and Tenille Muskrat Love Tour.

[Nia Renée Hill]

It was. It was. It was Carl Perkins and BJ Thomas who, Who did. If you happen to see the most beautiful girl. And he also did the as long as we've got each other, like the. The Family Ties or something themes, they.

[Bill Burr]

Come out of it.

[Nia Renée Hill]

Yes.

[Bill Burr]

If you happen to see the most beautiful girl in the way. It's one of the saddest.

[Nia Renée Hill]

Oh my God. Tell her I'm sorry. Tell her what I need.

[Bill Burr]

Dude, that was that a. I call that all like. People call it like. Used to be called like easy listening and then it's called yacht rock. I call that station wagon music because.

[Nia Renée Hill]

That'S why I listen to it. Like all those moms driving across the country in a station wagon. That's totally correct.

[Bill Burr]

Yeah. The mom's like in some fucking loveless marriage. They just sit ten and two just looking. No, they didn't cry. They always had like that. Remember those ultra skinny can't get cancer with this.

[Nia Renée Hill]

I love those chicks.

[Bill Burr]

And they had the scarf.

[Nia Renée Hill]

My grandma used to do the plastic filter too. Like the penguin. You know, I always thought, boy, this is a classy way to die. Just a little bit.

[Bill Burr]

And then you would steal the matches and light the woods on fire with your friends.

[Nia Renée Hill]

Fucking lutely.

[Bill Burr]

That's what arson.

[Nia Renée Hill]

Fire.

[Bill Burr]

Arson was our Internet.

[Nia Renée Hill]

Arson was our video game.

[Bill Burr]

So what. What are some of the upcoming dates and are you going to be coming through LA so I can see you guys again? Because this, this, this play's gonna.

[Nia Renée Hill]

We're gonna do. We're gonna do a catacombs tour. We've just decided we're gonna do. I don't.

[Bill Burr]

The sewer tour.

[Nia Renée Hill]

We're gonna be playing the sewers of. It's not the sewer. Sorry, It's a coal mine. We're gonna be playing this. But we're gonna be playing the sewers of Los Angeles.

[Bill Burr]

A little tone deaf when it comes to sewers. Yeah, I need to get more progressive.

[Nia Renée Hill]

Yeah. You need to, like, do. Do your research.

[Bill Burr]

Okay.

[Nia Renée Hill]

No.

[Bill Burr]

Get on the right side of history.

[Nia Renée Hill]

Yeah, please get on the right side of the Manhole, which sounds like a great bar name, like a West Hollywood bar. The Manhole. That'd be great. That's a good name.

[Bill Burr]

I saw a great name for a gay bar, and it wasn't a gay bar. And I was so disappointed.

[Nia Renée Hill]

What was it?

[Bill Burr]

The Dickens.

[Nia Renée Hill]

Oh.

[Bill Burr]

I'm like, how is that not a gay bar?

[Josh Homme]

That is the greatest.

[Nia Renée Hill]

Come to the Dickens for the week.

[Bill Burr]

The greatest, silliest name ever for a gay bar.

[Nia Renée Hill]

Yeah, the Toolbox was one of those.

[Bill Burr]

The first time I did stand up in a gay bar, it was called Queen of Hearts. And then my buddy Patrice, rest his soul, he played a gay bar. It was called Fiddlesticks.

[Nia Renée Hill]

That is fantastic.

[Bill Burr]

It is fantastic.

[Nia Renée Hill]

It's so good.

[Bill Burr]

How can you hate the gay community with that level of humor?

[Nia Renée Hill]

I love that they've got this chance, you know? There was a place in the desert called the Gaff Gaf, and I was like, or Daddy Warbucks, which sounds a bit romantic, if I'm honest. And I just thought, these are. They're. They have access to the greatest names of all time. And I just. I kind of admired that.

[Bill Burr]

Well, I didn't know it was a gay bar. I went out to go do the gig, and it was like two towns over from where I lived. And I parked my truck. Broad daylight. It was the summertime, so the sun was out till like, 8:39. And it's parked right out in front of.

[Nia Renée Hill]

And happened to be.

[Bill Burr]

And I, yeah, just happened to be there. So of course, I get to the gig early. I had my college. Emerson. Emerson College sweatshirt on. I was like, 23. I looked like somebody ordered me. And I came in. I was like, the college kid school girl, right? And I'm sitting at the bar looking at my notes, and some gay guy went by and said something like, hey. Or something like that. And I was like, whoa, what the fuck, right? So then Karen Nooch was the one who booked me. And she came in, she goes, oh, hey, you got here early. I said, yeah. And I was all fucking freaked. I had never had a guy say anything like that to me. So I remember I said to her, I go, yeah. I go, that guy down there, the end of the bar, I go, he's a little happy.

[Nia Renée Hill]

Yeah.

[Bill Burr]

She goes, what? Go. I got that guy down the end of the bar. You know, he's a little happy. Then she just sort of looked at me. She goes, Bill, do you know where you are? She goes, yeah. She goes. Yeah. He goes, everybody in here is a little happy. She goes, this is a gay bar.

[Nia Renée Hill]

This is a happy.

[Bill Burr]

And then all of a sudden, I looked at the fucking bartender her. And she had, like, the Ellen DeGeneres haircut, and she had the. The tuxedo T shirt on.

[Nia Renée Hill]

And I like that.

[Bill Burr]

And I'm like, am I the dumbest? I. I'm so stupid.

[Nia Renée Hill]

Plus, take the compliments where they come. That's what I always think.

[Bill Burr]

Yeah. Some guy in a clan outfit. That guy down there, he's a little racist. Guy's a little racist. Bill, you're at a clan rally in my.

[Nia Renée Hill]

Poke a hole in my. Take a compliment anywhere.

[Bill Burr]

I thought this would be. I thought this was a dry cleaner. I was wondering why that cross was on fire. No, I. Oh, dude. How I didn't end up in the trunk of somebody's car. I was so.

[Nia Renée Hill]

Still time.

[Bill Burr]

There is still time. Well, any dates you want to promote that are. Are upcoming, like this next leg of your tour. I'm so envious. No, come on.

[Nia Renée Hill]

I mean, don't be that way.

[Bill Burr]

Don't be that way. All right, well, I'm here to promote whatever.

[Nia Renée Hill]

Yeah.

[Bill Burr]

I probably don't need to. They're probably. We're selling like hotcakes.

[Nia Renée Hill]

It's been going really well. I don't. I think, you know, because, you know, I always tried to be piggy who makes his house of brick and not straw. You know, I think.

[Bill Burr]

Speaking of gay bars.

[Nia Renée Hill]

Yeah. I think no pants it porcupig in it.

[Bill Burr]

What if you did the three little pigs reimagined as a homophobic story and they keep building these bars and straight people that are homophobic keep knocking them down.

[Nia Renée Hill]

Thanks for bringing that up. I appreciate that. I. We're going to do some dates.

[Bill Burr]

I slept with the air conditioner on last night. I can't do it.

[Nia Renée Hill]

Dries out right in. Straight into your yapper sleep. Right against it. Right by the hole.

[Josh Homme]

Right by the manhole, which is another.

[Nia Renée Hill]

I think we're gonna do some dates in October. November. That's what we're looking at for the catacombs thing. And actually, this is announced here for the very first. We haven't said any of this before.

[Bill Burr]

Did you not want to say that? And I just got that out of you.

[Nia Renée Hill]

Yeah.

[Bill Burr]

You like those interview skills?

[Nia Renée Hill]

Pulled that right out of me.

[Bill Burr]

Pulled it right out.

[Nia Renée Hill]

After all the piggy comments, I had no choice but to pivot.

[Bill Burr]

So are you off till then? I thought You, I thought you just got done with Boston.

[Nia Renée Hill]

You were, we're doing these dates which are pretty much all sold out, and, and then we're going to Europe for six weeks. We're kind of doing the tour that got canceled. I, I, you know, I've gotten to this point where it's like, if I said I was gonna do something, I have to like.

[Bill Burr]

Yeah, because I remember how obviously bummed.

[Nia Renée Hill]

Out you guys were that the, I can't stand it.

[Bill Burr]

Oh, that's right. And you, you, you called me before that tour and you were telling me, like, I'm doing all the places I want to do.

[Nia Renée Hill]

And I had the kids and we all had our families out time between Transylvania. We're about talking, taking six days off here. We're doing. And to have that go away. I was like, it just was so deflating. And then it was deflated for that reason. And I was told, you know, don't plan on doing anything for two years. And I was like, oh, my God. And now it's seven months. In seven months, I was better. I feel so much better. And so I was, first thing out of the gate was, let's do the dates that got lost, you know.

[Bill Burr]

Oh, yeah.

[Nia Renée Hill]

Plus, you know, I don't know, I've, you know, I've still so many friends in the desert that are, you know, roofers or painters or, you know, hard working. And when they buy a ticket and then someone cancels, they're just like this guy with this. I got this ticket in it. So I'm really adamant about trying to go back.

[Bill Burr]

That's when you want to stay out of the comment section.

[Nia Renée Hill]

Yeah, definitely. Well, no one's, no one ever understands, you know, they, yeah, the amount of times I, I played with serious injuries and I always thought, like, where's my trophy? Where's my cookies? No one did anything. But I still, I just, I like the chance to endure a little. It feels good. It feels, it makes it feel important for a sec that you're overcoming this thing. Yeah, totally. It's a little Catholic.

[Bill Burr]

Yeah.

[Nia Renée Hill]

Self flogging for growing up Baptist. A little Catholic, but.

[Bill Burr]

All right. Well, I gotta say, it meant the world to me that you and all your band mates came out to see the show. And one of the hardest things last night was blocking out that you guys.

[Nia Renée Hill]

I know we kept showing our tits. Were they trying to get you?

[Bill Burr]

No, I had to really, like, sort of dial in. I flubbed a few things when I, I let my mind because I knew it was going well and I was happy with that. I knew it. No, no, no, it wasn't that. I just, I just.

[Nia Renée Hill]

You texted me in the middle of the show like, are you fucking here?

[Bill Burr]

Well, because. Clear club soda Kenny goes. Josh didn't pick up his tickets because I.

[Nia Renée Hill]

Because I inadvertently. Kevin bought more tickets. I seriously, I had about 12 tickets last night at that place.

[Bill Burr]

Oh, all right. Well, there you go. Well, okay. Hopefully the producers see that.

[Nia Renée Hill]

You're welcome.

[Bill Burr]

And I can come out and tame my shrew again. All right, Josh Homme, everybody. He is out on the road making up all of those dates. He has an amazing new documentary out that you can see on Criterion, streaming on Criterion Channel, my favorite fucking channel.

[Nia Renée Hill]

So.

[Bill Burr]

Which I didn't know was here in New York.

[Nia Renée Hill]

I just was over in their closet.

[Bill Burr]

And dude, how smart are all the people over there?

[Nia Renée Hill]

Oh, it was really calm. It was like being inside of an NPR microphone. It was everyone and every. Every poster is a bitching movie.

[Bill Burr]

I got a good duds. Good movie. Before we wrap this up, I saw they had this film noir thing. There's a movie from 1950 called Gun Crazy. It's like a Bonnie and Clyde type. That title, Bonnie and Clyde type of story. And it's a bunch of no name actors, but they're phenomenal. But the camera shots in it, it looks like of that era. And then all of a sudden the camera and they're in the car and. And it. You go 20 years into the future in cinema. Like, who the came up with this? Yeah, like, like filming above and in the.

[Nia Renée Hill]

That would have been a nightmare then.

[Josh Homme]

Yeah, like, how did you do it?

[Nia Renée Hill]

It's a nightmare back then.

[Bill Burr]

Oh yeah.

[Nia Renée Hill]

Now they got a. Everyone's got a drone shot. They.

[Bill Burr]

They probably hoisted some guy up nuts holding the thing. No, no, osha, none of that stuff. All right, Josh Homme, everybody. It's so great to see you, man. I'm so happy that you're back out there and that you're healthy. You look amazing. You're back to being our ginger God. He's our ginger Elvis. Josh, homie, everybody. Thank you for listening. We'll see you.

[Nia Renée Hill]

Ciao.

[Josh Homme]

It's all in motion no stopping now I got nothing to lose and only.

[Nia Renée Hill]

One way up I'm burning bridges I destroy the mirage all visions of collisions Fucking fun for us.

[Josh Homme]

It's all screw you say from here on out. Oh yeah. Hey, what's going on? It's Bill Burr and it's time for the Monday morning podcast for Monday, June 19, 2017. What's going on? How you doing? How are you? What's up? Oh, that's great. That's. You doing good? Are you doing good? Oh, that's good. I'm doing great. I'm actually recording this on Sunday, June 18th, 49 years old, my first fucking Father's Day. First Father's Day. Oh, geez, Bill, what did you do? God bless you. You're in the clubhouse fucking turn. You finally became a dad. What did you do? I had a great day. I had a great day. You know, they go all out for Mother's Day. There's just brunch after brunch after this. After that. I went over to a car show over on Rodeo Drive. Rodeo Drive, right. Rodeo Boulevard, Rodeo Road. Rodeo Drive. The fancy schmancy place. Evidently they have a Father's Day car show every Father's Day, obviously, if they're gonna call it Father's Day car show. Yes, they've had it every year. And of course, I never went. I was never a dad. I never even heard about the. So I was not on the email list, you know, Billy the Kid list, as you guys called me back in the day. As of five months ago, you could still call me that. So I was never on the email list. And God damn it, I was like, I'm going over there. So we head over there and you know, it's like, you know, the beautiful people. The beautiful people and me. Rich, rich ass fucking. Yeah, Beverly Hills. They call it the Beverly Hills Car show. And I gotta tell you, man, fucking beautiful cars. I was either gonna go to the Peterson Museum, I was gonna do that, and I figured I can go to the Peterson Museum anytime. This is the Father's Day one. I got to go to that one. And then I'll do the Peterson later, right? So I fucking go over there. Peterson Museum, by the way, right down next to that place that's right where Biggie got shot. Wilshire and fucking Fairfax. So anyways, so I'm over there, Rodeo Drive, I'm checking it out, right? There's all these rich people, you know, there's all these beautiful fucking, you know, I don't know what, you know, walking around. God knows how old they are. They're really getting good with the plastic surgery, man. They're really, really getting fucking. That was. There was some amazing old looking women walking around, you know, wearing Forever 21 shit that they bought it, you know, I don't know, one of those stores up and down the block, right? So we're walking around, you know, it's fucking hilarious. Every Restaurant was like closed over there. They're like, fuck the dads. They're like five food trucks even over there. They're like, yeah, it's the daddy doesn't give a shit. Show him a couple of fucking Batmobiles. Show them the Lincoln from Entourage which they had over there, which was fucking cool as shit. One of the great cars out there, the Lincoln Continental, suicide doors and all that. Not a convertible guy, but you know, he worked for the show. The overhead shot, iconic shot. At this point, they had the Eleanor car from gone in 60 seconds. But I liked, I like, I always liked the weird. I saw like a 19 what the was like a 1961, 62 or 63 Mercedes Benz limousine. And I. Out of everything that was there, there was a Tucker there. There was a one of those mid like a 55 Mercedes gull wing, you know, a bunch of Ferraris, Lamborghinis, you know those weird years in the 70s, those ones. Adam Carolla has a lot of them. I don't mean weird like they're not good looking. It's just like, you know, I always saw him as the racing car. And then to me, it, for me, I just felt it went right to Magnum PI and it wasn't until I did Caroll his podcast back in the day when I saw the Lamborghinis and fries, I was just like, what are these? He was like, oh, this is this one, this is that one from like the, like the late 60s 7 now they're cool as shit. He was ahead of the curve, by the way. I was watching a local newscast out here and Adam Carolla, there's a free plug here. Adam Carolla was on and he was promoting. He's got a. He's got a documentary on the 24 Hours of Le Mans in the 1950s when Ford decided, decided that they were going to guess, compete and see what they could do over there. And they came out with the 4 GT. He's got this great. It's getting rave reviews. And he has another documentary that he already put out about the racing life of Paul Newman. And if you go to his website, I believe it's chassis.com something. If you just put an Adam Carolla Le Mans, it's going to come up. And what I love is all I could find on the website was just the dvd, which is great for me as an old man. I don't like that fucking. Hey, you download it and then it's in the air and somehow it's on my computer and then I dump some orange Juice on the keyboard. And then I don't own it anymore. I like the dvd. I'm an. I'm an old man. I like the dvd. That's like having the gold behind your money. So had I known about this, I would have asked for both of those for Father's Day. So instead, I'm just gonna buy them myself. So anyways, I fucking go over this there, and they got this Mercedes Benz, like 1961, 62, 63, something in the early 60s. And it's a. It's a limousine. It's black. It's got this. I took a video. I. I know I always say I'm gonna post it, then I always forget that I say I'm gonna do it, but I'm gonna try to remember here. It had this beautiful red interior. And it was just. I was like that. That right there, that's what the fuck. As the older I get, as much as I enjoy driving, I don't enjoy driving in LA because the traffic is just fucking insane. And my wife. My wife, she Ubers all the time. So I'm getting used to this jumping in a car and somebody else is driving. You know, when I go out with her and I get all this business done, be it breaking people's balls back on some text, you know, calling back, fucking Joe Derosa or some shit. Better call Saul's Joe Derosa for your consideration, is the fucking veterinarian on that wonderful show turn. Email calls, business shit, all of that. And, you know, you always read up about these. These fucking people out here, these moguls like the Ryan Seacrest out here, they. They don't fucking drive. They have a driver. They sit in the back and they get shit done. They pull the curtain, right? And they just. Back there, they got like, the Janet Jackson headset on. They're fucking firing off emails. They're buying stocks. I don't know what they're doing back there. I'm not a mogul. It's not like they're gonna tell you fucking tell someone how to be a mogul, and then everybody's a mogul. And then what are you. You. So you're just a regular guy. Next thing you know, you're stopping at a red light, you're looking over, you're like, is that Ryan Seacrest driving his own fucking car? Whatever happened? Thought this guy had 17 TV shows. Anyways, I. I could really get into that, to be honest with you. Who's kidding who? I'm not a mogul. I'm just lazy. And I don't know. I think there's, there's two types of people as they get older. There's the person that just, you know, takes up cycling and rock climbing and they take like a glass blowing class or some, you know, and then there's other people being like, you know what? I fucking. I'm tired, man. You know, I'd like to chill if I get another 49 years or whatever I get, you know, I'm on the back nine. Who's kidding who? 49 times 2 is 98. I want to make a hundred. Staying positive. Who's kidding who? All right. I feel like I'm on the 12th hole. Yeah. Who the fuck wants to drive in LA? It's fucking horrible. I would actually thoroughly enjoy and I would just. If you had that kind of loot, you redo an old fucking beautiful car like that, you restore it, you bring it back to life and then you just. In the back, you know, you got, you got, you know, you got a little humidor, some fucking cigars, you know, a couple of your favorite little fucking accoutrements being the booze there. Then you just fucking whatever, you just drive around, whatever your driver's name is, you still call him James. Every fucking, Every chauffeur was always named that. Wouldn't that be great? You want to go to the movies? You know, I drink too much already, man. There's no way I could. I could handle always having a designated driver. I'd be getting fucking stewed. Go. Going to the supermarket. Speaking of which, Billy, no fun. Oh, Jesus. Jesus Christ. Was seven days in. Seven fucking days in last night. I had a couple glasses of wine. We went out with another couple. What am I supposed to do? Everybody, you know, I'm having an Italian meal. I'm not supposed to have a little Barolo. Come on, Come on. What am I supposed to. I had a couple of those, you know, and I, I don't even fucking like mine. It just, it's just, just. It's always reminding you of the hangover it's going to give you. Turns your teeth gray. But I actually enjoyed. That's the one wine that I like. I really enjoyed it last night. And I was actually going to order a whiskey, but I almost said the referee, the waiter forgot to come back and asked me. At that point, I was just like this. I'm just going to stay with the wine. And then tonight, night, my family took me out for Father's Day and I had one whiskey and I. Oh, man, I got a good one, right? I Got a really good 28 years old. And then I went outside to return a phone call and I had set the glass down. I came back and one of my red letters had bumped the table and said they knocked a little bit out. And I didn't think there was that much. And then I looked down, there was this big puddle of it. And I was like, oh, that was 28 years old. I mean, the back of my head, I was like, oh, that's good, because I'm trying not to drink anyways. But I was 28 years old as shit poured in a glass. I sipped it and then somebody came by, boom, hit the table, and then there was a puddle of it. Spent 20 years in a fucking barrel to be spilt on the floor and then cleaned up with a rag. Oh, that's a travesty. I felt my liver crying, but it was good because then I had the perfect amount of booze and I was fine. So. I don't know. I know you guys who are in aa, you know, collecting your little chippy poos there, you know, that's why God got five days sober, you know, give you a little cookie, got you down the chain. There's no way. Even if I was like a full on alky, like, I'm in triple A of alcoholism. I never got called up to the big show. I'm basically like Kevin Costner in Bull Durham, except I'm drinking. That would annoy me, going to AA and they give me my stupid chip. Like, that's what I'm like. I'm supposed to be fucking chasing these things. I got too much of a contrarian in me. That's the new word for cunt, by the way. You know, I'm a bit of a canary. Canarian. A contrarian. A bit of a contrarian, yeah. Yeah. You're difficult. You're a cunt. You know, you're a fucking pain in the ass. You're the kind of guy, if the fucking jet went down, you're the fucking guy. You're the guy that would get us killed. We'd all be fucking sitting there, if we survive, going, hey, you know. But I say we go over this ridge, everybody. Agreement? Yeah. And then there always been one guy. Whoa. I mean, what's the same about this ridge? Well, why don't you fucking go over there, buddy? Being mauled by a bobcat. We'll wait for you to slowly die. And then there's our new nourishment for the rest of this walk down this snowy, godforsaken Tundra. Anyways, sorry. The fuck am I talking about? Yeah, so. So we go to the car show, right? None of the restaurants are open. The dads. It's like food trucks. Nobody gives it. You know what's funny, though? I didn't give a. My wife was upset. Oh, my God. Why we. None of these places are open. She's like, are you all right with that? I was like, yeah, I don't give a sh. I don't give a shit. You know, I really don't. I'm wired like a guy. I walked around, I looked at some shiny cars. I'm happy. It's hot as shit. Let's get back in the car and go home. I'm fine. Completely fine. Brunch. That's. That's some you shit. Turning this whole fucking thing into a whole day. Yeah, Father's Day. You leave the. I had the. I had the perfect Father's Day. And then I didn't even say I started my day. Well, fucking no fun, Billy. I can wake up now, like, super early, and I finally have a little drum space about 20 ways. Little. Jesus Christ. I can't even talk a little ways away from, like, 20 minutes away from my house. I got a little rehearsal studio deal, right? You can just rent them. And I got the smallest one. Like, if I stretch out, I can touch the walls on all sides. And I got this little. That little sonar kit that I bought, the martini kit. 16 inch bass, bass drum, which cracks me up because I was playing that giant bottom one that had a 26 inch bass drum. And I'm trying to, you know, just go in a completely different, different direction. After all of these goddamn years of just trying to ape everything that then he did. And it just hit me one fucking day. I told you, one day I just sat there and I said, what if this fucking guy came back to life and he came walking into my house. I keep saying this on the podcast, right? And I was just like, hey, man, John Bonham. Holy shit. Hey, I'm a big fan of yours. Come in and look at my drum kit. I had his exact drum kit, right down to the Rogers hi hat.

[Bill Burr]

He would have looked.

[Josh Homme]

He would have slowly backed out of the fucking room. And what was funny is now I'm going down this whole fucking rabbit hole, you know, I'm listening to Pantera and fucking Primus and Miles Davis. Figure that one out. Listening to all of his fucking great drummers, from Philly Joe, Tony Williams, to fucking Jack Dejanette. Just listen to these fucking geniuses. And trying to get something else in my head. And through reading up on Tony Williams, I went down this rabbit hole full of I don't know how many hours on the Internet just trying to. All these tracks I was listening to and trying to see if I could. There's so many tracks where Tony is just killing it live and they just won't show him. It's so annoying. They're always showing. When Miles or Coltrane or fucking. Not Coltrane. He didn't play with Coltrane. Miles or fucking. Was it shorter that he played with? I don't know. They're always showing those guys. Yes. It's like if everybody else stops playing, they'll finally fucking show him. It's annoying, but, you know, typical. They never show the drummer. That's why I love the Romantics. When I was a kid. And what I like about you came out and I finally got. The drummer was singing. If the drummer sang, then they would be on Hotel California with Don Henley. You'd see the drummer the whole fucking time. Other than that, you were shit out of luck. So anyways, I ended up. When you read about Tony, that leads to Billy Cobham, which leads to fucking eventually, you know, I don't know, Vinnie Kaliuda and Steve Smith and all these fucking guys. And then they start talking about the guys they listen to, and then you go back around again. It's amazing. So I ended up finding this quote that really made me feel good about getting rid of the drum kit that I did. Because sometimes I think going, oh, man, I always wanted that kit. And I finally had it. And then I just always think, yeah, and you sat down and played it and you sounded like you. So. And it was too fucking big for you. And you have all these other ideas. Why don't you go pursue those? And I just stumbled on this quote by Vinny Kaliuda, right? That actually transcends playing drums. You can apply this to anything. It's. He says this is when he was trying to find his own style. He said, I went through periods where I tried to imitate Tony and Billy. That's Tony Williams and Billy Cobham. He goes, but I eventually realized how dangerous it was basically trying to imitate those guys. I began to ask myself, what am I saying? I wasn't saying anything. It had been said before and had a reason for being said, but I didn't have a reason. I wasn't making a statement. I was just repeating it like a parrot. By imitating and copying someone else, a person becomes a parrot. I saw the trap And I knew as great as those guys were and still are, that I had to find my own voice. And I was like, God damn it, look at that. That applies to stand up comedy. That applies to fucking washing cars. Do you want to be one of the greats? You know, how many times can you watch Mr. Miyagi do the wax on, wax off before you're going to fucking break out of the of that, Come up with a new way to do it, right? I don't know what the to tell you. I'm just happy. So now I got this place. So I wake up now because, you know, the way my daughter sleeps, she sleeps in these four hour chunks. So she finally falls asleep, you know, around two in the morning after she slept from like, you know, 8 to 12, then she'll be like up for like an hour and a half or some. And then she sleeps till like 7. My wife feeds her and then she goes back to sleep again until 10. So that window right there from 7 to 10 now I've just been jumping in the car, drive 20 minutes down the street, nobody's up. There's no musicians over at that place. You know, they're just getting done, doing blow, they're going home. You know, I'm there at like 8 in the morning and I get to play for like a nice solid hour. Having the time of my life. I don't know why I didn't do this for myself years ago. I never dawned on me to do it. I was always trying to play him in the fucking house and trying to find quiet ways to do it because who's kidding? Drums are fucking annoying other unless you're the person playing them. So I finally got this place and I'm. I'm beyond psych. So we'll see. We'll see what this little kid leaves me. But I don't know, whatever. I'm just saying it was a great Father's Day. So I went out tonight and then got a nice framed picture of me holding my beautiful daughter. And I could not be having my arms around her anymore. And she looks content as hell. It was an instant classic. I'm kissing her on the cheek and I got it framed. I'm looking at right now sitting on my desk. I'm fucking psyched. So happy Father's Day. Father's Day to all the fathers out there, you know, and if you used to play drums, you want to play them again, go get one of those, get that fucking, that Quest love, little breakbeat set. Go find some fucking studio space. Cost you like 125, 200 bucks a month. Who gives a fuck? You know, go get it and go down there. Bring your, you know, or find a studio space like, you know, where I used to play. I never used to say that because I didn't want anybody to bug me down there. The best place that I found out here in LA, if you don't have time to get a drum kit and all that shit, but if you just want to go play someplace is Cascade Studios down on Santa Monica Ave, just east of Highland. It's the shit. It's fucking clean. The drum kits are great. And it was the first class place. And I went to a bunch of places. That was the best place that I found. So free plug there. And speaking of that, speaking of that. Oh, by the way, everybody keeps telling me to watch the fucking Lakers Celtics documentary thing that they got on espn, so I have to check that out. But before I do that, before I do that, I fucking fucked up the goddamn podcast. Not podcast. I fucked up the password. And, you know, complex these things have to be now, you know. You know, I hate when you fucking put a nice easy one in and then they just say to you, like, oh, yeah, that's not. That's not good enough. Enough. That's not good enough. It's like, well, why don't I determine that? Why are you acting like I'm in the Pentagon? I don't give a. You know what I mean? Oh, you know what's hilarious, too? Now that I got. I'm out of my bottom phase. I still played to some Zeppelin today. I'm not gonna lie to you. When I was over there, but somebody showed me his. Remember that car? And the song Remains the Same. That crazy looking. I don't know who made it, Ford or some shit that he had that held that crazy paintings and stuff like that. You know, you always wonder what happened to that is somebody bought it and then somebody else bought it and now it's up for sale. It's like 250 fucking grand. You know who's gonna buy that thing? I'm. I'm Jim Ursay of the Colts. I think that guy's gonna end up having like the equivalent of Jay Leno's car collection. He's gonna have that with musical artifacts. I mean, the guy's getting to the point where he can kind of fuck with the Rock and Roll hall of Fame. He's got like a Prince guitar. He's got Jerry Garcia's guitar. If he had John Bonham's Car. I mean, that really adds to the collection. Then you put your fucking Prince's guitars and all this Charlie Parker, saxophone, whatever the fuck else that guy owns in the back. Yeah. Some hookers come over, he starts doing blow, whatever the fuck it is he does. I mean, it could be a good time. No. Anyways, let's. Let's read some advertising here. Thank fucking Christ. That's over. Over. All right. So anyways, I. I really overextended myself this month. I said yes to way too much shit. And for July, my answer is going to be no. I don't give a fuck what anybody asked me. No, I believe. No, I'm not doing it. I'm not fucking doing it. I. I got. I'm on the road again. Boom, boom. I'm doing the roast of David Ortiz this week, Thursday. And you know, I gotta figure out how to. I don't do that. Hey, I'm not saying this guy waka waka, but this boopa, boopa, yada yada yada. You know those fucking roast jokes. For some reason, the format of roast jokes is still from like the 1950s. I don't understand why that is. Is I have to figure out how to do this shit. So. And so is here. You know, last time I saw a head like that, it had a fucking wag. A wiggle. You know, they still use that. Except the young guys now, they all say AIDS and cunt and fucking. It just. It's just so over the top, you know, 9, 11. It's always like, I gotta figure out how the fuck to do this. And I only have four days to do it It. And of course I'm busy as shit, so I don't know what to do here, so. But this is the last thing. If I just get past this, which I will, either by doing a good job, a mediocre job, or eating my fucking balls on it. The bottom line is, it's over. You know, It's. It's a 12 minute spot. I just have to get. If I get past this fucking roast, the rest of. I'm gonna. The rest of my year, it's downhill. Billy, no fun is saying no to everything. What do you want? When is it? Nah, I can't make it. Nope, can't do it. No, no, no. Not gonna do it. It'd be like that buzzard way back. Remember that bashful buzzard on Bugs Bunny? No, no, not gonna do it. That's gonna be me. I have to start fucking doing that.

[Nia Renée Hill]

That.

[Josh Homme]

Because, yeah, it's not good. It's just too much. And I am, I'm. And now with the kid, I'm, I'm, I'm exhausted. It's 9:22 at night and I was ready for bed two hours ago. It's just my cutie pie doesn't fall asleep till about 9. And you know what's great about no booze. You sleep like a baby. I mean, booze will put you to sleep, but the next morning you wake up, up and you just like, you know, you wake up, you feel like you should be tied to a chair, you know, and there's some guy just waiting for you to come around to continue interrogating you by punching you in the head. And then you realize like, no, I punched myself in the head with all those drinks. So I'm actually really enjoying it. Despite the fact I drank the last two nights, I had one tonight and half of it spilt on the fucking ground. All right, fucking judge me, all right? I decide I'm in my own aa, okay, I still earned a chip today. I just feel like for me, having my own AA is a good thing. Speaking of, for me in reality show stars, you're not going to fucking believe who I think was at that car show today. We're walking around, we're looking at this fucking, this two door Cadillac that I swear to God was like, it was like two town cars put together. Incredible fucking car. Gigantic. Oh my God. I saw this one Jaguar, you know the one that had the early, that one they had in the 60s with the long hood, not the one from the 50s that Sinatra had, that one, the James Bond era one one, you know the one and like the, the hatchback open like a regular door. This guy's showing it off, right? He's got the back door open and then the hood opens like the reverse way, you know, from the windshield out, looks cool as. And then I look in there, he's got like some small bucks, small block Chevy engine in there, you know, I don't know that's what you want to do. I don't know why you would do that. Anyway, so I, so we're walking around looking at those cars and all of a sudden there's these people on like, you know, they're giving out awards to cars and shit. And there's Nia's listening to this person on the microphone going, I think that's Caitlyn Jenner. I think Caitlyn Jenner's here. And I was like, no fucking way. I gotta go see, I gotta go see Katie Right. I gotta go see Wayne. By the time we got there, I'm not even sure if it was. But like. Like, Nia said that Bruce, it gets confusing. She said she's really into cars, so I got confused saying, like, all right, was he not into it? And then. Can that happen? Do your hobbies change? Then I knew what she was saying. It's like, no, he was into him. He's always been into him, and now he's become Caitlyn. I almost said transferred. What's the fucking word you're supposed to say? Transitioned. Helicopter November 153, Sierra Hotel. On with you. Information Bravo. Requesting fucking transition through transition to, you know, being Caitlin, but the hobbies stay the same. There you go. Who would have known that I would think you'd take up some other hobbies, right? Maybe you wouldn't. I gotta look this up. I gotta look this up. This is fucking weird because I know you take hormones and stuff, right? So does that make you into other shit? It's. It's fun. It's fascinating, you know? And you know what's funny is they're gonna keep doing the same way they're doing the plastic surgery where, you know, know it's going to keep looking better and better and better. You know what I mean? Same way, you know, everything keeps getting better and better and better except for the fucking environment, you know? Oh, by the way, I did a fucking benefit the other night and Flea was in the crowd. I can't fucking believe I didn't give him a shout out for giving a shit about bees. That was one of the few positive things I saw about the environment last year, was that Flea somehow got it. You know, fleas, the fucking bees are dying off, and Fleece shows up like a goddamn hero. And it. He gets into this beekeeping stuff, he's got the whole suit and everything. I saw this whole article on it, and he's hooking up, like, it looked like there was like 10,000 of them hanging out in his backyard, you know? You know what's funny is that's one of those things your neighbors would be annoyed at because they don't understand photosynthesis. I don't know where that word came from, but I. I literally. I think I. I think I used it correctly, isn't that when the bees go from flower to flower and stuff gets on their cute little feet, you know, their cute little bee feet, you know what I mean? And then they pollinate inadvertently, they're out there running errands for the queen, right? The Queen bee. The was I talking about? Oh, I gotta look this shit up. When you transition, do your hobbies change? Fucking list. Am I gonna get put on looking this shit up? Oh, come on, man. Don't do this to me. Come on, Internet. Come on, Internet, huh? Can you fucking work for once in your life, you fucking cunt? Can you believe someone who can't even get Internet in his whole house is talking about having a chauffeur? I mean, how fucking first world cunty is that? Habit change is easy when people move into your house. Four strategies to change your habits. Was that not specific enough? I. This has to. I have to be wrong. You transition to a woman. Do your hobbies change? 13 Ways to Master the transition from college to the real world. Habit change is easier. How to successfully transition your diet, Nerd fitness health in your 40s. Well, you know what? I searched it twice, I guess. So Bruce was into it now Bruce is Caitlin. Caitlyn. Caitlin's like, you know, good on you, Bruce. Way to get those fucking cars, because I'm still digging them. That's amazing. You know, I hope someone I know transitions. I just want to see that whole goddamn thing, you know, Something's got it. Something. It's got to be something, right? Does your preference of color change if you're taking hormones, like, you're with like the chemicals, right? Isn't it fucking amazing how I just refuse to read about shit and I just continue to ask questions while answering them? This is how I come to conclusions and then I can somehow legally get on stage with the microphone and do a fucking podcast. I can't imagine how many people who used to be men and are now women are just slapping their female forehead, their transition forehead right now, listening to me as I'm talking. I apologize. Apologize to anybody out there transitioning. I don't fuck him. Why would I think that? Because she said she's really into cars. Doesn't take a lot to trip me up. That's all I'm saying. All right, let's read some shit here, right? Mute math and Colbert. Hey, Billy Boom Bap Bob. Boom boom bap. Thanks for putting me on to mute math. Oh, my God, they're fucking amazing. Incredible band. They got a brand new album out. Whatever you kids say, they got some brand new that you can download through the air, man. Capture it on your device, share it with your friends, man. This guy says, I've seen the name before but never listened. And they are all caps, dope. Just bought a ticket to see them on their tour. In September. Dude, you are not going to be disappointed. Disappointed. They are as good as their band. Their albums are. They're incredible live, incredible band. And then he said to me, told me to check out these bands. It says check out big data in Portugal. I don't understand this next sentence. It says the man, comma, I think you might dig them. Is the man also a band? I'll look it up. All right. If my Internet hasn't shut down after that last stupid fucking search. Keep drumming and make Stephen. Keep drumming. And making Stephen Colbert uncomfortable. Oh, I did the Steve Colbert show last Thursday, aired Friday. I wasn't making him uncomfortable. He enjoyed it. I had a great time with him. He's a. I met him briefly one time at some benefit, but he's a really good dude. It was fucking amazing to go back and do that show because that's where Letterman used to tape. And it's still fucking ice cold in there. It's still roughly like the same setup. And it's just weird because Colbert's desk is over where the band is. And I talked to him, you know, during the break. I go, wow, this is crazy being over here. You know, I did stand up on Letterman like four or five times, and this is where I always look over and Felicia and Paul Schaefer, Anton Fig, all the whole band was over there, there. And now the desk is here. And he said that he asked Letterman where he should put the desk, and Letterman said on the right side, saying that he always wanted to sit over there, but Johnny sat over there. So out of respect, he sat on the other side. That's how much, you know, the level of respect. That was just amazing story. The level of respect that Letterman had for Carson. And why wouldn't you? The guy's the king of it all. But Letterman was the Carson of my generation. All right, Phelps versus the Shark. Bill, I just listened to your Monday morning, your Thursday afternoon, Just before Monday podcast, and enjoyed your rant about the upcoming fight between McGregor and Mayweather. It's not. It wasn't a rant. Wasn't a rant. I just was discussing the fucking subject. If I was screaming and yelling, ranting and raving, that is a, you know, I'm gonna look up rant. I'm probably really wrong. It's wrong about, you know, if you transition, your habits change. Why the would I be wrong about this rant? Definition, Come on. Oh, somehow I go to rant now. What the is that? No rant, you cunt. Come on. Definition. Okay, Rant. Definition. Speak or shout at length in a wild, impassioned way. Yeah, she was still ranting on the. I don't know. Well, I think this just goes back to me being from Massachusetts and my ideas of yelling and fucking being out of control are just different than everybody else's. But you want to say I ranted. Fine, fine. Whatever. Yeah, I just. You know what I fucking hate most about that McGregor Mayweather fight? Aside from the fact that that McGregor is only going to be allowed to box. That guy's a fucking Swiss army knife of death and they're only letting him take out the spoon. You know you want. Fucking annoys the shit out of me about that fight is I know I'm going to order it. I know I'm gonna order it. How do you lay off that? Once I found out it's only gonna be a hundred bucks, I thought It'd be like 200 bucks. I thought they were both making a hundred million. I guess. Mayweather makes 100 million. McGregor makes 20 million for whatever fucking reason. How fucked up is that? I think the guy that isn't. You know, if they were doing the fact that McGregor isn't allowed to do what the fuck you know he could do, which is put Mayweather right on his back and the thing would be over in 30 fucking seconds. He should be getting 100 million. This is a walk in the park for Mayweather. This is his fucking strength. And if it went the other way, McGregor was allowed to use all of his fucking fighting skills, then Mayweather should get the hundred million. This is classic Mayweather. This guy's a fucking genius. He's getting it entirely his way, and he's making $80 million more than this other fucking guy anyways. He goes. Did you see that? Michael Phelps is going to race a great white shark for some Discovery Channel thing. I fucking refused. That's a joke, right? That has to be a joke. Do I have to look this up? I thought you might like that one. That's. That. That is fucking ridiculous. I'm all right. I gotta look it up. What? Dude, even if the shark was full, I mean, that's. This is like the Mayweather fucking McGregor fight. This is what he does. I mean, Phelps swims, but he also does other shit. He goes to restaurants. You know what I mean? He hits a bong every once in a while. What the does a shark do? That's all it does. There's no way. There's no self. Oh, my God. It can't. No. Phelps versus shark. This can't be real. Michael Phelps to race a great to race against a great white shark in Shark Week's. Phelps versus shark. Jesus. Whatever happened to just being on the Wheaties box? You're not making enough money doing that. Michael Phelps isn't done swimming yet. The 23 time. 23 time Olympic gold medalist. This guy has 23 gold fi. You know what? This guy wants to race a chino. Yeah, of course he does. He's done with human beings. I think a shark is a good tune up fight when you're going into the ocean. I think this. I don't know who put this together. Maybe it was Mayweather. He said he always picks the perfect fuck opponent. You go in there against a great white shark, you know what I mean? They're not known for their speed, are they? It's always dolphins zipping around. It's always the shit that they have to fucking catch. That's fast, right? Then the slowest thing gets caught. All right, 23 time Olympic gold medalist will compete in the most adrenaline filled race yet when he swims against a great white shark for this Discovery Channel Shark Week. All right, so how do I handicap this? Are they starting in the water? Is the shark got to get up on that block too and wait for the whistle. Ah, we got a false start. We got a false start. We have a difficulty explaining to the shark what the fucking whistle is. He's just so freaked out that he's out of his natural atmosphere here in Phelps vs Shark Great Gold verse. Great white is what they're calling this. The retired athlete will take on the ocean's most efficient predator in a competition of speed. Jesus Christ, can you imagine who is Nike putting out the swim goggles for the fucking shark? All right. And I guess Phelps tweeted something. I was able to do something that I'd always wanted to do. Be in a cage and dive with great white sharks. Wait, is he married? He's got a kid now. Good family. First birthday party. Hey, happy Father's Day to him. What kind of a dad he's got it, you know what? He's got all that gold, you know. You know what's funny? The dollar. The entire US economy could collapse. And he's going to be fine. He's got 23 gold medals. You just melt those fucking things down, you make little nickel sized coins. That guy's eating subs for the rest of his fucking life. Phelps great white race isn't the only Shark Week special he'll be appearing in. And the father of one will also join. I don't give a fuck about what he's doing. Together, the trio will dispel myths and misconceptions and teach Phelps the proper way to get up close and personal with hammerheads and great whites. Okay, you know what's funny about fucking the Discovery Channel? After all these years of being the champions, the absolute champions of many misinformation about sharks. You'd always watch their things on the sharks. You'd always watch these things on the sharks. And while you watch the program, they'd always say all this, you know, these things are being hunted down. They're misunderstood, blah, blah, blah. But when you watch the advertising for that week, Shark Week, it was always. They was like another Jaws movie was coming out. It was really bad. So now, I guess they're finally feeling guilty. Or maybe some younger people came in on the Discovery Channel and they're finally done, I don't know, shitting on sharks. So the way they think, they'll be in a fucking saltwater pool if they're in a pool. I like Phelps for the simple fact that I have a feeling that the shark's gonna go out of its lane and be disqualified. And at the very least, the shark can't do that little somersault flip at the end of the fucking pool. Jesus Christ. Is this. This is what the world is? The world of sport is becoming. I don't know. Back in the day, used to have those fucking fat, bald guys, Strongmen. They were always bald, right? Something about lifting weights back in the day, you know, you went bald, they would always be pulling trains with their teeth and shit. All right, first time listening.

[Bill Burr]

Hey, Bill.

[Josh Homme]

First time listening to your podcast. My husband and I came to LA for the Rose bowl last year and saw your standup. We love it. Thank you. Thanks for taking so much. Thanks so much for talking in detail about jazz and sports. I think this show. Think this shows a lot of respect for your audience. We like cool shit, obviously. We like you. Stand up. Don't be afraid to go into technical details about whatever, whatever. It's interesting. Anywho, Happy podcasting. Well, all right. There's two people that are enjoying it. I think I talked about it a little bit. I downloaded all of this. Miles Davis. I am, like, I was a huge Miles Davis fan, like, in the early 90s, and my favorite album was In a Silent Way. And I read his autobiography. I got like. I mean, I had all his on, like, cassette tapes. I even got, like, on the Corner, which he talks about in his book, how when Herbie Hancock came out With Chameleon. Like that's what he was trying to do, that Headhunters album. But you know, he's blamed the record label saying that, you know, they up the promotion of it. But I got into all of that shit and then I moved to New York and I stopped playing drums because, you know, I was living in a walkthrough bedroom apartment and I just. Drums are too goddamn loud. I didn't play for like five, six years and then I started back up again. So I. I started in 88 and I've been. I was like a five year break in there. So I've been playing about 19 years. Is that what it is? I don't know what the fuck it is. But anyways, Dave Brubeck jazz stuff. Here we go. More drum shit. Dear Billy Back Beat. Not the exact era you were asking for, but Dave Brubeck's band experimented with some crazy time signatures starting in the early 60s. Look for the album the Dave Brubeck Quartet at Carnegie Hall. I bought it when I was a music major in college and it was a borderline spiritual experience. It's got songs in 11 4, aptly named 11 4. Wait a minute, 114 now how the fuck does that work out? 11 4. So you just count. That's when you count that just up to 11. All right, so that's just. Basically it's like playing three, three bars of four and then you just play one bar, three, four, and you just lop off that last beat. Right? Five four. Take five. Nine, eight. Blue Rondo a la Turk. Not only are the songs great, but the audio quality is impressive for the time period. Every once in a while you can even hear Dave or another member of the band blurt out a cool jazzy during a solo. It really immerses you in the time period and culture. All right, you know what? This is a classic. I'm going to download this and listen to this with really nice head headphones in the dark and probably wish that I, you know, did some drugs. If you listen to it, check out the track Castilian Drums. At the four minute mark, there's a drum solo where he turns the snare off and does some really cool and creative stuff with his hands and his sticks on the snares. If you look at Joe Morello shit, where he's playing with his hands and stuff and then watch John Bonham playing with his fucking hands, I'm sure he, Morello wasn't the first, the only guy to do it, but there's just a couple Things where he's hitting with the back of his hand and shit. And you see. See Bonham do that. But then there's also like. Like YouTube and all that shit did not exist when Bonham was coming up. So he was over in England. The odds of him checking that out and actually seeing it is so fucking. I don't know how people were able to. You definitely listened to everything you could. But to actually get to watch all the. I mean, it was fucking. When some. Something came on the tv, you just fucking sat there and watched it. There was no hit and pause. There's no, oh, there's going to be a rerun. If you missed it, you missed it. Anyways, this guy says thanks and go yourself with that shiny new hi hat stand. Jesus Christ. All right, join in the army. Hey, Nia, if you want to come in, there's a question for you. Yeah, grab a. Grab a mic. Bring in the tyke and grab a mic. Bring in the tyke and grab a mic. La la la la la. Get your ass in here and do the podcast. Bye bye. Where are you? Oh, you're coming. It's hot as hell in here. Why don't I open a window? I don't know. Okay. Can you. Can you. There's a microphone over there. Can you. In the closeted area. Oh, Jesus. She's. She's. Hey, cutie. Well, I can't do a podcast and hold a kid at the same time. Jesus Christ. What am I, multitasking? Hey, buddy. Mike up on. On top of the fucking thing there. On top of the thing. Straight ahead. She's got it. Please don't tip over my computer. Don't tip it over. All right, this is perilous here. I'm holding her and there's a computer here. She's gonna knock it over. She's gonna knock it over. What's up, cutie pie? What's up, cutie? All right, plug it in there. Plug it in, plug it in. And here we go. Lady. Ladies and gentlemen, coming back to the podcast.

[D]

I don't need to put the screen.

[Josh Homme]

You don't need to put a windscreen on. I don't have the window open. Can you grab your beautiful daughter here, please? Please? I know, I know, I know, I know. All right, here's a question for you. How did you pull the map up? All right, here's your question. All right, you ready? Dancing wedding.

[D]

Okay.

[Josh Homme]

Hey there, Billy. Back freckle. My girlfriend and myself are attending a wedding for our good friends, two gay fellas. This is a Very progressive podcast, by.

[D]

The way, that you're doing.

[Josh Homme]

Yes. Okay, because I already brought up Caitlyn Jenner, and I learned something today when you kind of freaked me out when you said, like, oh, she's really into cars.

[D]

Why? Did I freak you out?

[Josh Homme]

No, I had to do the math in my head. It was like, was Bruce not into cars? So then I was like, no, wait, I remember reading Sports Illustrated. He had Porsches. And he was a pilot and all that shit, right? Does his pilot's license. It must transfer over. Do you got to change the name? How. How crazy is that? Then you got to go down there and be like, listen, I'm this guy now. I'm.

[D]

I'm sure it's. It's every. Everyone knows who Caitlyn Jenner is.

[Josh Homme]

All right? So if you're not famous. But if you're not famous.

[D]

Yeah. If you're not famous, you probably got to do. We got some explaining to do.

[Josh Homme]

But I am. I'm gonna, you know, I'm getting you for Mother's Day next year, a speaking into a mic class.

[D]

Sorry.

[Josh Homme]

All right, so here it is, by the way. So I googled it. When you transition to your habits change, and nothing came up, so I guess it doesn't.

[D]

Okay, what's the question?

[Josh Homme]

You wouldn't think one little thing would be kind of like, oh, now I'm into this. If you're taking, like, hormones and stuff, like, wouldn't something change? Your favorite color would change?

[D]

I don't think so. It doesn't affect your brain.

[Josh Homme]

All right. Why aren't you allowed to ask questions about this? Is it me? Like, oh, my God, what are you, a Trump supporter? I'm really excited to go to this wedding. He's saying, okay, these two gay guys are getting married, right? Two gay fellas. As he says, I'm really excited to go. Minus the fact that they are dancing fools. Could they be more stereotypical? My girl and that whole group will be dancing the night away.

[D]

Well, it's a wedding. Yeah.

[Josh Homme]

Do you not want to do this?

[D]

No, I'm just trying to. I should wait to hear the question fully. Please proceed.

[Josh Homme]

Okay. You seem annoyed. At any point, you need to walk out. I'm fine with it. Okay. He says, me, for me. He says, me for me, for me. I just feel. He says, me, I'm not a dancer. Perhaps I shouldn't assume, but I'm assuming that you're no dancer yourself. Evidently, he has not seen Daddy's Home.

[D]

Right?

[Josh Homme]

I'm the worst. I'm Your standard pasty white guy who doesn't really dance. I don't like it. I don't really understand it.

[D]

It's just don't understand.

[Josh Homme]

It just seems goofy to me. I totally line up with this guy. I have an appreciation for it. You're an appreciation.

[D]

You danced at the wedding though. You dance at our wedding all night long.

[Josh Homme]

Yeah, I was drunk. My girlfriend has expressed her dislike with my opinion of dancing after a couple of drinks going as far as to tell me it's a real disappointment that I don't enjoy dancing.

[D]

I love how honest she is, you know, It's a real disappointment in our four years together.

[Josh Homme]

Love you.

[D]

But I'm really disappointed. Really disappointed.

[Josh Homme]

And I completely don't respect the fact that you don't like something that I like. Hey, Nia, do you like hockey?

[D]

You know what I do.

[Josh Homme]

Oh, could you just play along?

[D]

No, I don't.

[Josh Homme]

Oh, that's a real disappointment. In our four years together, we've never really had any sort of arguments other than that one. Jesus Christ. That's the only thing you argue about.

[D]

How often you're very lucky. How often do you guys go marry this girl?

[Josh Homme]

He goes, I don't try and guilt her into doing something she doesn't like. So I get a little hot blooded when she does it to me.

[Nia Renée Hill]

Hot blooded.

[Josh Homme]

Can't you see you'll be dancing to that one.

[D]

Hot blood. It was it. I got a fever of 103.

[Josh Homme]

Come on, baby. Do you do more than dance? Right, He's. That's another white guy doesn't want to dance. Do you do anything more to dance? Can we get out of here so we can. Yeah. Invent herpes. Well, what do you think? What do you think? Oh, Ruby puby, Ruby Tuesday. I don't stand my ground in. What do I stand my ground in? What will most definitely become a disagreement when I don't go flail around like the non dancing whitey that I am. Or do I sack up and do my best Travolta from Pulp Fiction and go attempt to cut some rug even though I'll be miserable the whole time. Best to you, your little one. And season two of F is for family has been great. Thanks for the content and go F yourself. All right, all right, all right. So what do you say?

[D]

Well, as I snarkily said earlier, it's a wedding, so obviously there's going to be dancing whether they're gay guys or straight. Like everybody dances at weddings. That's not. Not. I don't know how he expect. Like, why would he think that there wouldn't be dancing? Maybe that's not the point.

[Josh Homme]

Had nothing to do with the gay guys. He was just saying.

[D]

He just doesn't want to. He just doesn't want to dance. No, I can't dance. I can't talk. Only thing about me is the way that I walk. I don't know. Listen, girls that like to dance, like, guys that like to dance with them. That's just how it is.

[Josh Homme]

Is that the name of a new reality show?

[D]

If you don't go in there and do the YMCA and the Electric Slide, you can at least do a couple of slow dances. How about that? Can you call.

[Josh Homme]

Hi, meet me outside? How about that?

[D]

No, it's cash me outside. Catch me outside.

[Josh Homme]

How about that?

[D]

Maybe that can be the compromise. Listen, I'm not gonna go up there. YMCA and celebrate good times.

[Josh Homme]

Come on.

[D]

This is not a karaoke.

[Josh Homme]

What's another classic?

[D]

I don't know why I'm singing. So none of those things. We have Prince.

[Josh Homme]

Yeah.

[D]

Do we have Prince at our wedding?

[Josh Homme]

I don't know. Let's. Let's stay focused here.

[D]

Oh, yes. I think. I think the compromise, sir, is that you should give your lady a couple of slow dances. And also. Also. Wait a minute. It's one night. It's not gonna kill you to get up there and, like, be goofy with her. No one's watching you. Because I feel like there's a little bit of you that's like. You don't like to dance because you feel like you can't dance. Nobody's looking at you. Nobody's judging you. It's one night out of your life. Just be silly. Have fun with it. And definitely slow dance with her. Her. She'll really appreciate it. This is one of those times where even though you don't like doing something, you do it for the person that you love.

[Josh Homme]

This is what. This is my suggestion.

[D]

But you're not going out dancing every single Saturday.

[Josh Homme]

Would you.

[D]

But for the wedding, you should. I'm a little distracted, so I'm sorry. I can't put my mouth, like, you know. You want me to blow the damn microphone?

[Josh Homme]

No, I just want you to speak into it. You just. Hello?

[D]

Is that okay?

[Josh Homme]

Don't do that. You're blowing the thing up. I just. This is what he should do. He should go. Go there and have five quick drinks.

[D]

Five.

[Josh Homme]

Five. Get hammered. And then just go out there and then just. That's it. You black out drunk.

[D]

I don't think that's a good idea.

[Josh Homme]

Walk around like a fish out of water.

[D]

Yeah.

[Josh Homme]

And then next day.

[D]

I don't agree.

[Josh Homme]

When you're hung over and you're laying there and she's giving you looks, you just look at her in your best Clint Eastwood voice and you just feel like it was your idea. You want me to dance? These are the rules. I would just tell her, say, listen, I'm going to dance my ass off that night, okay? And I want you to know how stupid I'm going to feel. I'm doing this for you. However, these are the rules. You line up five shots. I'm doing those like Mr. Blonde going through that bank. Yeah. Bam, bam, bam, bam, bam. If you had made me go out on the dance floor, I don't think he should get a good Mr. Blonde. That was all right.

[D]

I. I don't think he should be five shots wasted, but I think he should.

[Josh Homme]

Would you accept three?

[D]

I would take two and see how it goes.

[Josh Homme]

Oh, you're the worst. Three, Give him three. This is a major anxiety, Nia. Think of all the stuff you don't like to do.

[D]

Right, Exactly. Okay, but I'm just saying. Well, how about this? Can he at least give her a slow before he gets wasted? Can he just give her a slow? Because we love slow dances.

[Josh Homme]

They don't start with the slow dance.

[D]

I know. You go out there and it's like, immediately, like, immediately. Get down on it. Yeah, get down on it. This thing was it. I'm just burning doing a neutron dance.

[Josh Homme]

Someone stole my brand new Chevrolet. Yeah. At that point you gotta be like. You gotta be like. You gotta be. You gotta be five shots in.

[D]

It's one night out of your life. Do it because you love her.

[Josh Homme]

Just and say night.

[D]

This is my dancing for the year. I love you.

[Josh Homme]

He's gotta be shitfaced. Can you just let the guy get drunk? Nia, I don't say this a lot. I don't say this a lot. This is a white thing.

[D]

What do you mean we don't do.

[Josh Homme]

We don't dance?

[D]

The white people dance all the time.

[Josh Homme]

Who, Fred Astaire? We either do it professionally, we just don't do it either. One of those people on Dancing with the Stars. That's it. I don't know. All right, here's another one for a girl at jujitsu. Hey, Billy Bullock's brim. So my dilemma is I'm 18 and I've. Oh my, it's hot as friggin hell.

[D]

Why don't you turn the AC on.

[Josh Homme]

Because what am I supposed. I'll hit pause. Hang on. All right, I'm back. Here we go. So my dilemma is I'm 18 and I've just finished the first. My first year of college a few months ago. And I've been hitting the gym. Good for you. As much as possible. Good for you. And I've been going to Jiu Jitsu. You're crushing it for the past couple of months. Anyway, first day going there, I noticed a girl in the beginners class with me and thought she was hot and she's doing jujitsu. This is. This is nothing but great stuff so far. So after a couple of weeks, I work up the nerve to talk to her. Good for you. Turns out I went to school with a younger brother. Something in common. This is like all rainbows right now. And I was also the youngest in my year, so I think she might be 19 or 20. Jesus Christ. This is just all aces. Why does my computer screen keep shutting down? I don't know. Anyway, after training. I don't know. Anyway, after training, yesterday I asked her, I asked for her Snapchat. Is that the way millennials ask for digits now? I never even said digits. I'd be like, what's your number? Can I call you? You like my Z? Cavaricis Daisy Buchanan's. Dude, it's a meat market. Try not to curse in front of her. Even though he's already done it 50 times here. I don't know. I don't know. Anyways, and she gave it to me, and after I asked her for it, I felt like a weight had been lifted because I've never really talked to that many girls. Girls, let alone get their Snapchat or whatever. Good for you. Because I'm incredibly reluctant and a bit scared to talk to them. Yeah. Pathetic, I know, but I think this girl is girlfriend material.

[D]

That's not pathetic.

[Josh Homme]

Not just a one time bitch.

[D]

That was pathetic.

[Josh Homme]

Yeah, he really just made a left turn there.

[D]

That statement was pathetic.

[Josh Homme]

He kind of built himself up as the oh shucks guy.

[D]

Yeah. And then he turned it around into.

[Josh Homme]

Now he's a lady killer.

[D]

Yeah.

[Nia Renée Hill]

What?

[Josh Homme]

I know what it is. What? He's afraid of love.

[D]

Whatever.

[Josh Homme]

Oh, no, see what you just did? You just turned her off. All right, I think I'm solo on this one. So, Billy boy, what should I do? How should I go about this? How should I text her? Any advice would be appro appreciated. Love the podcast. Wouldn't mind hearing from the lovely NIA's input. Two if possible would love for you. Can you just let a guy be a guy? That's the equivalent of you guys being like, well, what does he do for a living? How much does he make? What size house could I get when I kick him off?

[D]

Oh, is that the equivalent, Bill? Yes, equivalent.

[Josh Homme]

Equivalent as an equal.

[D]

Nobody talks like that. At least not in my circle.

[Josh Homme]

Oh, sorry. Oh my God. For me, I feel I need a 20 bedroom house. However your friends talk, would love for you to play a gig in Ireland sometime. Thanks. And go f yourself, dude. I played a gig. I played three last year. I went from Dublin up to Belfast and out to Galway. I had an isosceles triangle of freckled fuckos I performed to out there.

[D]

Are you trying to be a badass with this whole not a one time bitch fuck type of thing? Like, what was that, what was that little statement he threw in there? Because that did really turn me off.

[Josh Homme]

Why do you keep latching on to that? This guy has all kinds of great qualities. He's 18, he's, he's, he's one year into college, okay. He's hitting the gym. He's taking jiu jitsu. He saw a beautiful woman. He was smitten by her. And he's nervous. Okay? He lose. It's locker room talk.

[D]

I just don't understand why he. I just don't understand.

[Josh Homme]

Don't build a wall around why he.

[D]

Has to be like categorizing girls that he doesn't even know. And so this is like the kind of bitch you just fuck once. And this is girlfriend material. Go fuck yourself. How about you're neither? How about you're not gonna get laid and you're an asshole that won't have a girlfriend. How about that? How does that feel?

[Josh Homme]

Meet me outside. How about that?

[D]

It's catch me outside.

[Josh Homme]

Catch me outside. How about that? Nia. You guys do the same thing.

[D]

We're not talking about what you guys do and what everybody else does. I'm talking about this person that wrote in this question. Okay, that's not what this, that's not what this conversation is about.

[Josh Homme]

What everybody else child.

[D]

I want her to feel my passion.

[Bill Burr]

Him.

[D]

Okay, no, her.

[Josh Homme]

Oh, her.

[D]

I'm not. Yeah, we're not discussing what women do versus what men do. We're talking about this particular person who is like, oh, good for you. You got her Snapchat. Also like Snapchat that. Grow a pair and get her number. If you're really trying to like come with it. Like, don't be lurking on her Snapchat so you can, like, jerk off to her like, little selfie pics. I'm annoyed with this person. I'm sorry. I just. You know what?

[Josh Homme]

I'm jealous of this person because you know what, son? 18, and he's working out.

[D]

He's in the gym. I don't appreciate that little line that you threw in. So he's not married and his wife is freaking out some type of way about it. So.

[Josh Homme]

All right, here's my advice, sir. Here's my advice. What was. What he want? Nia, I swear, swear to God, if you were a pitcher right now, I'm coming out, and before I even get to the mountain, I'm taking you out of the game.

[D]

I don't even know what that means.

[Josh Homme]

It means you got way too emotional. You've lost your control, and you're gonna. You're gonna kill somebody.

[D]

Hit the showers, tell she's girlfriend material. Not just a one time, you know, a you once.

[Josh Homme]

This guy cannot run in from the bullpen quick enough. You've completely lost your composure. Hit the showers on this one. All right.

[D]

How do you know what kind of person she is?

[Josh Homme]

Oh, boy.

[D]

Because you decided. Because you've projected what you want your fantasy. Because she's not a real person to you, right? She's not a real person. She's just someone you saw doing jiu jitsu, and it's like, oh, my God, this is like my dream girl. Not like those other girls that you just, like, toss to the side. You don't even know her. You don't even care to know her. You got her Snapchat. Her Snapchat? Really? Throw a pair. Ask for the number or stay the away. Don't be lurking online like some kind of creep. What is this person's name who's from Ireland? Colin.

[Josh Homme]

Mia, Don't.

[D]

Seamus.

[Josh Homme]

Seamus o' Leary. No, Seamus. This guy has no Seamus. Sorry, Sorry. Patrick, listen.

[D]

Yes.

[Josh Homme]

Don't you. Don't you guys have, like, oh, this guy's husband material?

[D]

Yes.

[Josh Homme]

Well, all right, then. So why don't you relax, all right? Good Lord.

[D]

I did get. I really got hot.

[Josh Homme]

You got grumpy puppy.

[D]

All right, fine. Yes. There are definitely guys that. You're like this guy. You would not want to be in relationship. This is a guy that you just like, bang out a few times and don't ever see again. Yes.

[Josh Homme]

What do you mean, bang out a few times?

[D]

No.

[Josh Homme]

Right.

[D]

You're right. Women do the same thing.

[Josh Homme]

It's.

[D]

It's 100 true.

[Nia Renée Hill]

I think it just took you 20.

[Josh Homme]

Minutes to get there.

[D]

I don't know, it just bugged me. Of course it bugged me, but I'm being a hypocrite because I've certainly had those feelings towards certain guys, so.

[Josh Homme]

Exactly. And it's about time women start fucking admitting that. Instead of acting like the world owes you around the drinks. Now here's a man. He's found. He's smitten with this girl. He's afraid, you know? So he just need. Your tooth's coming in there, huh?

[D]

Yes.

[Josh Homme]

Well, this is what I would say. How should you go about this? You're gonna have to do something. You. That's probably difficult at your age. And I hate when older people say this, but you got to figure out a way to be yourself. You just got to walk. You've said enough. I think you've said it.

[D]

I'm sorry, Shane. I'm sorry I yelled at you.

[Josh Homme]

I think you've said enough here. I think you dumped a whole bunch of other stuff from other days. Was it something I did? I don't know. But this guy did not deserve that. This is an 18 year old. He just became a man.

[D]

Okay, okay, I overreacted a little bit.

[Josh Homme]

He said he's going to college. He's gonna want to defend his family back, right, with his jujitsu.

[D]

I'm just saying, if you were my son, I'd be like, can you not.

[Josh Homme]

Can you get off it, Nia?

[D]

All right, I'm off it.

[Josh Homme]

I'm. Yeah, you're a hypocrite. You're a hypocrite. But what I love about you is you admit what a pig you are like the rest of us. Jesus Christ. Can you give the kid some advice here?

[D]

What was the question? He got our Snapchat and he's nervous.

[Josh Homme]

He actually likes this woman. What does he do? He should just be himself. Just listen. I gotta admit, like, I saw you across the room. I had one of those little mini heart attacks. I really like you. I'd like to take you out. Like, you gotta go honest there.

[D]

Just ask her.

[Josh Homme]

Yeah, you don't have to sit there and brood in the corner and try this. There's no reason to. What you do is you. You. You fake with those ones. You're just gonna bang somebody. Actually, like, you got to be honest with them or else it's not gonna work. So just. Yeah, okay.

[D]

This little one is getting a little fussy.

[Josh Homme]

I'm gonna go. Okay, cool. I think you get. I think you both need a nap.

[D]

I'm Yeah, I know. I'm. I'm sorry about that.

[Josh Homme]

It's all right. Hey, we all get there.

[D]

Whatever his name is.

[Josh Homme]

That's it. My bad. Yeah, well, you know, his name is Vinnie. All right. Okay. Dancing at the wedding. I already did that. Girl at jujitsu. I already did that. Did I answer all the questions? Oh, joining the Army. Joining the army as you can sail the seven seas in the army. You can eat some mushy peas in the army. Okay. Joining the Army. Dear William. No folks, fun. I'll skip all the ass kissing since you blow through all your blow through on your reads anyways. All right. I'm a 34 year old married guy, former Navy vet, who's sick of feeling like a shitbag. I want to do something with my life and feel like making a difference. I've kicked around the idea of going back into the military for a while now, and it's shit or get off the pot time. Wow, you want to go back into the military? 34. Okay. I brought this up to my wife in the past and all she can say is, you're married, and changes the subject. Some backstory on us. We've been together for seven years and married 5ish. We've had our ups and downs like any couple, but I get sick of being treated like a child when it comes to my own life anyway. I'm just about at the cutoff age, cut off age wise to go down the path I want in life. I want to be a combat medic. Jesus Christ, dude. Good Lord, man. I mean, how much excitement do you need in your life? You already served and you want to go back here? This guy's a frigging hero here. Said, I'm a determined man who cares about my family and my family and my country. I've done my research and I have the time to join. Do the medic training, go to RASP Ranger Assessment Program. You gonna become an Army Ranger at 34? Do you guys ever watch that documentary on Netflix about just to see if you're worthy of going through like the week long of 10 days or 14 days of hell? Only thing I remember was they had this giant, like, telephone pole that you and 10 other guys had to hold up and do curls with it or some shit. And as people quit, the rest of you had to hold the thing up. I mean, I was screaming in pain watching it. And if you puked in the pit, you had to get your puke out of the pit. It was just like, just that beginning thing was more Obstacles than I've ever faced in my entire life. You are a driven man. You're a special kind of person, man, if you can. Special forces, right? He says, then special operations. Combat medic training. My question is, Bill, what do I do here? Do I risk losing her or stay here and resent her? I don't want to do either. But I also can't continue to work myself to death as a construction worker making someone else rich at the cost of my health and happiness. Dude, if you want to be a combat medic and you're fucking putting drywall in, I mean, that's got to be torturing you. He said, I've worked seven twelves for six months. Six. Seven days a week, 12 hours a day for six goddamn months, trying to save money to go to nursing school. And she tells me she booked us on a cruise. She spent that money on a cruise. Oh, boy. I don't know what to do, and I need your help. Thanks in advance for your advice and thanks for the med. A mediocre job on F is for family. Go yourself. All right, here's the deal, dude. What's going on in your relationship is a critical lack of communication, okay? You're telling her what you want to do. She's just saying you're married. Changes the subject. You saved up all that money to go to nursing school, and either she didn't realize that that was what it was for and booked you on a cruise, or she's one of the most selfish people on the planet, which I don't think you would have brought that up. So I think what's going on here is you're one of these. You're this guy's guy, John Wayne type. And like most of them, you know people like that, you ask you how you're doing, and you just say, fine. All right? What you need to do is you got to open up, you got to sit down, you got to say, listen, we got to talk. And you have to sit down and tell her what you want to do. Tell her how you feel at work, and you have to communicate and start there and work your way to the Ranger Assessment Program. That's what you have to do. Because other than that, you have a major blowout argument on the horizon, and her catchphrase is going to be, where is all of this coming from? You know, if you're one of those guys that does stuff the right way, there's a problem you can run into where you have this expectation that everybody else should also do things the right way. And when they don't, then you get pissed. And it's. All of it builds it as complete. Like I lead by example and all that shit. You got to learn how to communicate. So, yeah, I would sit down with her and I would talk to her. All right? And good luck with that. Those are amazing friggin goals. I just want to learn how to play Tommy the Cat. That's what I want to do. Anyways, that's the podcast, everybody. I hope you enjoyed it, by the way. I have. I have a number of friends on that show. I'm dying up here. And they're telling me that as good as the pilot was, it just keeps getting better and better and better. And there's a zillion shows out there, so they really need people to watch. The book was fucking incredible. I know Jim Carrey's name's attached to it, so I know it's gonna be great. Great. I'm going to watch episode two right now. Al Madrigal. The great Al Madrigal, who I, you know, do the All Things Comedy Podcast Network with. And it's just a friend in general. He's killing it on there. I don't know. I hope you guys watch the show because I'm. I'm really. I'm really. I'm really enjoying it. I'm enjoying the family. Becky's. All right, so what am I going to do here? Here? Is there anything else I need to. Anything else that I need to hype here? Should I give a shout out to anything? I already gave a shout out to Flea for saving the bees. I wonder if enough people did that. You know, I still can't believe that I pulled photosynthesis out of my ish. I don't know where I came up with that one. All right, that's it. Everybody check out. I'm Dying up Here. And I'll check in on you on. On. What is it Thursday? Is that what it is? Is that what it is? Oh, Andrew Santino's on it. Here we go. Eric Griffin. I'm going to get everybody. John Daly. Hilarious. Who else? Who else? Scrolling? Rick Overton. Rick Overton. Met him back in the day. Speaking of, Neutron Dance was actually in Beverly Hills Cup. Don my rare is fucking hilarious on it. I'm gonna watch that right now. That's what I'm doing after I upload this podcast. All right, everybody. I hope all the dads out there had a wonderful Father's Day. It was an incredible day for me to finally get texts and tweets from people wish me a happy Father's Day. It meant a lot to me. Thank you so much. That is it. I will check in on. Check in on you. There we go. That's how you see it on Thursday. All right. Bye.

[Bill Burr]

Bye.

[Nia Renée Hill]

In every way.

[Josh Homme]

It'S all smooth sailing from here on out?

[Nia Renée Hill]

Well, God only knows One long vacation? If reason is priceless? As there's no reason I paid for us?

[Josh Homme]

It's so hard to find?

[Nia Renée Hill]

Make a mountain of a mole hill? In the mole hill.

[D]

I blow my.

[Nia Renée Hill]

Load over the status quo? Here we go. A little bit long, but I dance? I'm risking it all? Always no second chance, it's got me.