Julian Casablancas | Thursday Afternoon Monday Morning Podcast 7-23-26

Summary

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Monday Morning Podcast

Host: Bill Burr
Guest: Julian Casablancas (The Strokes)
Date: July 23, 2026
Episode Theme:
A freewheeling conversation between Bill Burr and Julian Casablancas touching on the creative process behind The Strokes' new album "Reality Awaits," longstanding relationship dynamics in bands, music, modern technology, society, and classic Bill Burr riffs on life, nostalgia, and the absurdities of modern living.

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Episode Overview

Bill Burr welcomes Julian Casablancas, lead singer of The Strokes, for a funny, insightful, and occasionally philosophical discussion. The heart of the episode is the making and meaning of the new Strokes album, but the conversation branches into everything from band therapy to nostalgic laments over city life and reflections on personal growth. Bill peppers the talk with his trademark rants, with Julian chiming in as a thoughtful, low-key foil. The episode offers an inside look at a veteran band’s creative process and a closeup on everyday challenges, both musical and personal.

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Key Topics & Discussion Points

1. Origins & Early Days

• [00:53] - [02:56]:
  The episode kicks off with mutual respect and nostalgia, reflecting on the New York scene in the early 2000s.
  • Bill recalls his stand-up ascent as The Strokes were breaking out.
  • Julian reveals he remembers seeing Bill on Conan O'Brien.
  • “Oh, you actually… That’s amazing. Yeah, I used to do Conan when he was on after, what was it, The Tonight Show… The original one, the glory, the heyday.” – Bill Burr [02:12]

2. Creative Process & Recording the New Album

• [05:36] - [09:51]:
  • Bill’s Music Nerd Side:
    Bill admits to being an “analog dad,” fascinated by gear and old-school album experiences.
  • Julian’s Perspective:
    Julian talks about the collaborative but sometimes messy songwriting process, particularly for “Reality Awaits.”
    • Most songs for this album were brought in by Julian, triggered by both creative impulse and practical motives (touring, financials).
      • “Probably when our bank accounts run out.” – Julian Casablancas [06:50]
    • Recording was directed by Rick Rubin, who encouraged endless jamming.
    • The band recorded much of the album in Costa Rica, staying in a house owned by Mel Gibson.
      • “I was sleeping in Mel Gibson’s bed. He wasn’t in it.” – Julian Casablancas [08:12]
    • The environment shaped the music, with the relaxed atmosphere seeping into the vibe.
  • Analog vs Digital:
    Bill reflects on the shift from analog to digital, expressing suspicion about “smart” appliances and longing for simpler technology.
    • “You get a refrigerator, it has a fucking camera in it… Who the fuck is watching me making a grilled cheese sandwich?” – Bill Burr [09:51]

3. Themes of the New Album "Reality Awaits"

• [09:51] - [13:57]:
  • Bill interprets “Going Shopping” as an expression of alienation from modern consumer society and asks if he’s projecting.
  • Julian on Song Meaning:
    • “It’s not like the consumer’s fault, necessarily, but… being blind to certain things is…” [11:14]
    • The video emphasized themes of complicity, escapism, and “being lied to,” delivered in a way that’s “light, relatable... not so intense and gloomy.” [13:27]
  • The album’s creation took a month or two to record, but three years to release due to post-production and life.

4. Reflections on Achievement & the Creative Grind

• [14:21] - [16:54]:
  • Bill compares the artistic process in comedy and music, recounting his own relief upon finishing film shoots.
  • Julian describes the end of the recording as messy but magical, especially a final-night jam that became his favorite track.
    • “The last song on the record was kind of recorded on the last night. It was like a jam. That was probably my favorite moment.” – Julian Casablancas [16:11]
  • Both discuss the emotional rollercoaster and exhaustion that follow creative periods.

5. Tour Life & Band Dynamics

• [19:00] - [23:01]:
  • Julian is on tour, calling in from Denver.
  • Bill discusses group dynamics, both in comedy and bands, and the need to evolve past constant arguments.
    • “The older you get, the more arguments you can avoid and you still learn how to be heard.” – Bill Burr [20:02]
  • They joke about band therapy, with Julian skeptical but seeing some value in mediators for families or bands.
    • “Group therapy… I feel like that's weird when a random person's opinion is gonna override things.” — Julian Casablancas [22:17]
    • Bill jokes about self-help gurus—“giant guy with the big head… Tony Robbins”—and the performative nature of help culture.

6. Personal Growth, Family, & Societal Conditioning

• [23:01] - [27:06]:
  • Bill ruminates on the challenge of addressing his childhood in his comedy and the relatability of family dysfunction.
    • “One of my talents is I can realize quickly what I suck at that I'm not going to get good at.” – Bill Burr [04:19]
  • Julian muses that “parent licenses” would improve society and reflects on the lack of guidance for adult development.
    • “Maybe they could offer some kind of tax break… teach people how to maybe not fuck up kids so much.” – Julian Casablancas [24:39]
  • Both note that wisdom often comes too late for early major life decisions.

7. Nostalgia, Education, and Choosing Your Own Path

• [27:06] - [27:44]:
  • Both complain about high school literature and the value of discovering inspiring books on your own.
    • “I hate every book you read in school, you hate. But then if you... try reading outside, oh, wow. This is inspiring.” – Julian Casablancas [27:33]

8. Classic Bill Burr Segments: News Cynicism, Social Commentary, and Sports

• [35:52] - [43:20]: (post-Julian conversation)
  • Bill transitions into classic rants, including cynicism toward the news (“News is bad for you and giving up reading it will make you happier”), sports nostalgia, and celebrity self-help culture.
  • Notable Quote: “News is to the mind what sugar is to the body.” [85:50, reading from The Guardian]
  • Recollections of New York’s grit, the gentrification of Brooklyn/NYC, and societal shift from edginess to sanitized comfort in cities and sports.

9. Band Evolution, Fans, and Artistic Growth

• [37:29] - [40:18]:
  • Bill congratulates The Strokes for continually evolving their sound, pushing back against fans who complain about development as “selling out.”
    • “When your albums come out, it’s an exciting thing as a music lover, because I know that you’re gonna try new stuff.” – Bill Burr [39:25]
    • Julian responds: “That's the hardest thing to do is to keep growing as a band.” [37:42]

10. Upcoming Album & Tour Information

• [40:18] - [43:27]:
  • The Strokes’ new album Reality Awaits drops July 24, 2026.
  • The band is on tour, details at thestrokes.com.
  • Julian selects the album’s final track, “Tyrants of the Mellow Moon,” for the podcast outro.
    • “All right. Tyrants of the Mellow Moon, the last song on the second side.” – Bill Burr [43:27]

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On the band’s motivation for new material:

  • “Probably when our bank accounts run out.” – Julian Casablancas [06:50]

• On recording in Costa Rica:

  • “I was sleeping in Mel Gibson’s bed. He wasn’t in it.” – Julian Casablancas [08:12]
  • “Infinity pool on top of a mountain, recording. And Rick is there orchestrating us.” – Julian Casablancas [08:24]

• On the meaning of “Going Shopping”:

  • “I think it’s just kind of subconsciously coming out… it’s not the corporations or the consumerism that’s bad. It’s the kind of… being lied to.” – Julian Casablancas [13:27]

• On growth:

  • “You just… you get a job you hate or marry the wrong… you’re forced into these things. It’s almost like, I wish, like, you went to college in your 40s...” – Julian Casablancas [26:06]

• On artistic evolution:

  • “Most of them are racist.” – Bill Burr (on people claiming he’s not funny after evolving as a comic) [38:15]
  • “That always annoyed me… why would you be upset that someone’s continuing to grow?” – Bill Burr [39:25]

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Key Timestamps

• [00:53] – Bill introduces Julian Casablancas, opening banter and mutual admiration.
• [05:36] – Bill nerds out on LPs, they dive into the album’s making.
• [06:50] – On band finances driving creation. (Julian: “Probably when our bank accounts run out.”)
• [08:12] – Recording in Costa Rica and Rick Rubin’s role.
• [09:51] – Bill’s analog-vs-digital rant; segue into album themes.
• [13:27] – Discussion of themes in “Going Shopping.”
• [14:21] – What it feels like to finish an album (vs. film shooting for Bill).
• [16:11] – Magic of the last night’s jam, Julian’s favorite moment.
• [20:02] – Bill on relationships and aging out of constant conflict.
• [21:38] – Therapy for bands (Tony Robbins, group mediators).
• [23:01] – Narcissists and family comedy material.
• [26:06] – On growing up, life paths, and timing of wisdom.
• [37:29] – Bill on fan expectations and band evolution.
• [39:25] – Bill applauds The Strokes’ continued growth.
• [43:20] – Julian chooses “Tyrants of the Mellow Moon” as the featured track.
• [44:30] – Sign off and thanks.

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Tone & Style Notes

• Signature mix of irreverence, candid confession, and playful ribbing.
• Intimate, conversational, heavy on personal anecdotes.
• Julian blends philosophical weight with a dry, self-aware wit; Bill is bombastic, self-deprecating, brutally honest.
• The pod is authentic, dropping deep thoughts amid jokes and rants.

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For New Listeners

This episode offers:

• Insider stories on the making of a Strokes album.
• Warm, sometimes darkly funny, reflections on art, aging, family, and technology.
• A dynamic interplay between two cultural icons at ease with vulnerability and the absurd.
• A strong sense of creative camaraderie and artistic respect.

If you’re a Strokes fan, music nerd, or someone who just wants to hear smart, funny people talk through both the mundane and profound, this is a must-listen.

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Song Featured:
“Tyrants of the Mellow Moon” (The Strokes, from Reality Awaits) [43:20]

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Tour Info:
Reality Awaits out July 24. Tour details at thestrokes.com.
Catch The Strokes in Pasadena, August 22.

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End of Summary

Transcript

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[Bill Burr]

All right. Hey, what's going on, everybody? It's Bill Byrd. It's time for another edition of the Thursday afternoon, just before Friday Monday morning podcast. And obviously if I'm on video and you listen to my. Watch my podcast, listen to it or whatever, you know, if I do video, that means I have a very special guest, which today is no different. We have the lead singer of the. Of the band the Strokes, Julian Casablanca is here and to promote the their brand new album that comes out in two days. Reality awaits. Look at that Marlboro man cover. Julian, what's going on, man?

[Julian Casablancas]

Bill, so nice to meet you. An honor, honor, really, to meet you.

[Bill Burr]

It's an honor to meet you, too. When I was doing, when I was in New York, right when you guys hit out of Brooklyn and all of that, I always wondered if, you know, you were playing, your band was playing some dump around the corner from where I was telling my jokes back when New York was starting to get a little polished up. Then it's been a little Bed Bath and Beyond for a while, which I found they've left now. They got squeezed out.

[Julian Casablancas]

Yeah, no, I remember your kind of ascent kind of coming up around, like seeing you on like Conan o' Brien and stuff back in the day.

[Bill Burr]

Oh, you actually. That's amazing. Yeah, I used to do Conan when he was on after, what was it, the Tonight show when he had the blue couch and all of that. The original one, the glory, the heyday. Yeah. And those shows are all going away now. They're trying to make it political, but I think they're not making any money because everybody's watching people I don't know, do they. You know, they do a little snap and then they change their clothes and then they go out for the night, you know. Yeah, that's the new art.

[Julian Casablancas]

Yeah. I mean the Internet obviously you have such access to everyone. It's not as exclusive to see a movie star, I guess talking.

[Bill Burr]

Well that's interesting because I wanted to ask you. I'm like a total music nerd, like guitar center dad thinking if I buy the same guitar you play, I'll somehow magically be as good as you and the songs will just come out.

[Julian Casablancas]

What are you talking about? You're an amazing drummer. You're super legit.

[Bill Burr]

I don't know about. I'll take it. I think I'm good for a comedian.

[Julian Casablancas]

You're good for a drummer, dude. You're. You're good. I was like really impressed. Oh thank you. I thought years ago and I was like damn. What the.

[Bill Burr]

Wow. Yeah, well.

[Julian Casablancas]

Are you in a band?

[Bill Burr]

Oh yeah. I totally failed. I never got out of my parents basement. It was basically back in the day. Whoever had the drums, their parents were obviously cool with you making all that noise. Everyone would just leave their gears. Everybody came over and jammed at my place. And I don't the only one time when I finally took him out of the house and actually jammed with somebody else, it was another comedian. I'd already started doing comedy and I think I went over Dane Cook's mother's house and dad's house and I set him up in his basement and we for half a second thought about maybe putting together some sort of musical act to do colleges.

[Julian Casablancas]

Wait, you were a musician with Dane Cook before?

[Bill Burr]

No, no, no. I had gotten into comedy at that point so I'd already like real. I knew early on like one of the. One of my talents is I can realize quickly what I suck at that I'm not going to get good at. So like when I would go to a. Well when I, when I would go to like a music store, you know, this is before they had like the guitar centers, Norfolk county music. I would go there and I would see some 8 year old kid play drums. Now I could play better than him cause I was 20. But he was already his approach to it. He was coming up with his own stuff. He was already expressing himself, he had his own ideas. And if I took the same approach to stand up that I did to drumming, I would have been a joke thief. Cause all I did was just listen to the album and play exactly what they played. And if I missed a Cymbal hit in the song. I thought I played it wrong. So, yeah, I was never gonna get past Wedding Cover Band, sort of.

[Julian Casablancas]

Okay. I mean, I don't believe that, but okay. That's cool. I mean, you're an amazing. I don't know what you call. It's like, philosopher more than comedian, but.

[Bill Burr]

Well, yeah, no, my comedy. I stand by my comedy. It's the drumming that we're discussing here. But we're not here to talk about my hobby. We're here to talk about this amazing new album that you guys just put out. Comes out in two days. Reality awaits. And first of all, thank you for the LP version of it. And I love how old school like, the COVID is. Why won't this thing zoom in and you open it up? See, this is how we used to enjoy music. So I was listening to it, and I'm looking at the Ferrari on the inside, and I'm looking at the pictures of you guys, like, recording the album and everything. And it was just like, a great experience. So I wanted to ask you, like, you know, 20 some odd years in, when you guys, like, go into the studio or whatever, do you guys.

[Sponsor/Ad Voice 1]

Is it.

[Bill Burr]

However, whoever comes up with an idea, do you guys kind of have like a sort of a process at this point? Or is the process no process? How does it basically, first of all, how do you guys even, like, go, hey, man, you know, we should probably put something else out,

[Julian Casablancas]

Probably when our bank accounts run out.

[Bill Burr]

Is that what you got? You guys compare. What are you down to?

[Julian Casablancas]

Well, I just think we're always just kind of. It's like a sense, like, we should tour and, like, you kind of should put out an album before you tour. Yeah. I mean, it's not as unromantic as that. I mean, I'm always writing stuff. I think we take. I don't know with this thing. I think Rick Rubin was involved. So I think the opportunity to do that. I don't know, I brought in a bunch of songs. We had had weird inner band discussions about publishing and stuff. So I guess I was bringing in most of the songs at this point, for whatever reason. But, yeah, we. We jammed a lot. Rick told us he wanted us to kind of jam endlessly. So he would just. We had songs, and we would start with. You know, we started with five or six songs. I can't remember exactly. And then. And we would just play every day for like, two or three hours and kind of.

[Bill Burr]

Where. Where was this that you were playing?

[Julian Casablancas]

This was. This was in Costa Rica, actually. Sorry, I got confused because the first time we did it was in la, but. Sorry.

[Bill Burr]

That's amazing. So you just went down to Costa Rica and played music every day for a couple hours.

[Julian Casablancas]

I was. We were living, recording. I was sleeping in Mel Gibson's bed. Bed. He wasn't in it. But,

[Sponsor/Ad Voice 1]

hey, man, however you live your

[Bill Burr]

life, that's, you know, I'm not. Not here to judge.

[Julian Casablancas]

I mean, I don't know. Rick was in Costa Rica and he was saying we should come there, and he invited us and they had this house and. Yeah, it was pretty insane. I mean, we're gonna. I can send you the. The video that we're gonna, I think, put out in a day or two of just like a montage of us hang. It was pretty surreal. I mean, we're just literally outdoors by, like an infinity pool on top of a mountain, recording. And Rick is there kind of, you know, orchestrating us and stuff.

[Bill Burr]

And does that make it harder when it's a. I mean, that. That would be the kind of place I would want to smoke a cigar or a joint to have a drink. And all of a sudden it's like, wait, we're here to work everybody. You know, that's got to be a little. Maybe a little difficult one second.

[Julian Casablancas]

No, no, it was great. It was fun. I mean, we did both, I think, you know, we had plenty of time to just kind of hang. We would jam for a long time. But it was pleasant. It was fun. It was. I don't know, I guess that makes

[Bill Burr]

sense, because I want to say ACDC recorded Back in Black and like the Caribbean or something. You wouldn't know listening to that album, that that's where they were at.

[Julian Casablancas]

Yeah, I mean, you could probably hear the Sunbeams creep in a little bit, but I think most of the songs we had worked on beforehand in New York, so. Yeah, that. I think where you record music generally affects how it sounds, though, so.

[Bill Burr]

All right, well, I wanted to talk to you about some of the songs on here. And I don't know if I'm projecting, because I am. You know, I'm trying to. You know, I grew up in the analog world and watched it go into the digital world, and I'm finding myself trying to go back. You know, I drive just old cars now. I don't have any, like, GPS on them. And I try to, like. You know, I bought, like, a newer Ford truck, and then once I synced my phone to it, it was talking to the truck, trying to figure out where I lived. And sending it to Ford, and I'm like, just. You know, you get a refrigerator, it has a fucking camera in it. You open it and it plays a little bit of music that's supposed to make you feel calm. It's like, who the fuck is watching me? You know, making a grilled cheese sandwich here? It's fucking weird. So that. I don't know. I was reading the lyrics and listening to Going Shopping, the second song on the second side and the way I interpret that song was somebody, you know, who didn't want to leave society but just couldn't relate to it anymore and was maybe going out to the country. And I don't know, just kind of how I. I don't know if I was, like, projecting that, but I was hoping there was somebody else out there that felt the way I did about the direction we're headed.

[Julian Casablancas]

Yeah, I think. Well, especially doing the video, it almost took on, like, more of a. Took on maybe like, a slightly different meaning with the video. Video where it kind of. It went to, like. It's not like the consumer's fault, necessarily, but, you know, being blind to certain things is. Sorry to go back to the meaning of it, I would say I. Yeah, I definitely had a phase where I left city and all that, and I had done it in previous songs, so I think it was just kind of subconsciously coming out. Yeah.

[Bill Burr]

Personally, I would love to leave the city, but I would miss everybody, and there's so much going on, and I just. You know, you live in the middle of nowhere. I just feel like then you got to deal with the middle of nowhere worldview. I just feel like, what's that? Middle of nowhere? It's like something fucked up, homophobic, or racist is coming in three, two, one. You try to keep it light. You know, you talk about how beautiful it is out there and how it's nice to be out of the rat race and everything, but then, I don't know, it just. I'm not saying everybody, but, like, the level that it can go sideways there just doesn't seem to be a. I don't know, I go, like, if you live in the city, you know, you got these people, you see. You know, you're gonna see a human being take a shit. I mean, it's just gonna happen, right? So, like, you start looking at, like, Wyoming, it's like, all right, you know, that looks pretty cool. And then you get out there and it's just like, you know, they live on a different planet. For better or for worse. I'm not saying it's all bad. I will say I did Wyoming one time and I ordered eggs over easy and they were borderline see through. So I need to go back there again because I kind of judged them on that.

[Julian Casablancas]

I'm about to drive through there. Oh, man. There's a lot of themes.

[Bill Burr]

Yeah.

[Julian Casablancas]

I mean, the thing, it's like, it's not the corporations or the consumerism that's bad. It's the kind of. It's like just the kind of being lied to, I think that's kind of attached to it. That's kind of dark. So it's, it's not like, I don't know, it's. It's. It's trying to. To kind of say a heavier message, but in like a light, relatable way that isn't like so kind of maybe intense and gloomy because.

[Bill Burr]

No, I appreciated that because I don't like when movies make up my mind for them for me or whatever. So that's why, that's why I was asking because it was sort of like, you know, up to your own opinion or whatever. How long did it take for you to record this album?

[Julian Casablancas]

I mean, the recording itself was probably a month or two, but three years to get it out the door.

[Bill Burr]

What does that feel like when you do the final take on an album? Because I know personally, just acting. Acting's a big thing for me because that's like. I feel like when I'm working musician hours, where it's like really long days and stuff. And when I rap on something, I

[Sponsor/Ad Voice 2]

just feel like a battleship.

[Bill Burr]

I didn't get fired. People like what I did, and I just feel like I just, you know, I did some little. Really had a good time. Couple weeks in Ireland and Death of a Salesman. No, no, no, no, no, no. This is a little indie movie called Bender. It's not gonna come out till like. Well, we gotta get distribution, but it should come out next year. What the reason why I signed up to do it, aside from loving the people that were involved, was it was one of those coming of age movies. It was kind of like what I grew up on. And like the adults are dealing with all this serious stuff and the kids are just trying to get laid. You know, it's one of those things. And it also took place in like Dublin in 1979, so. But anyway, I just remember as much fun as I had, there is that thing when you get on the other side of it and you're done with it and you have like, you know, I had like I go back on the road as a comedian this weekend, but I've had, like, two weeks off, and I've really just tried to, like, sit on my back porch and just enjoy a cup of coffee before it gets crazy again. And I was wondering if that is like, is that a similar. When you guys, you know, do it. You got the last. Okay, here's the last take. Have fun. We got it. And this is the last song. And then you guys have it. Is. Is there that sense of relief or is it more like, fuck, now we gotta promote it in tour?

[Julian Casablancas]

I mean, it didn't really. It's not as organized as that at the end. I mean, my one memory of the end was the last song on the record was kind of recorded on the last night. It was like a jam. That was probably my favorite moment. So that was kind of a magical last take vibe. But in general, we just kind of. The songs were all in a state of complete disarray and required assemblage. So it didn't feel like. Yeah, so those months of. Basically, it's like. It's like making a movie and editing it. You know what I mean? It's like you finish filming and you're like, well, that was the easy part. Now I need some.

[Bill Burr]

Oh, no, dude. Yeah. I directed one movie and the editing process, I almost lost my mind.

[Sponsor/Ad Voice 2]

Like, I'm not.

[Bill Burr]

I think I'm a different person than I was a few years ago. I had, like, this sort of breakthrough where I got past my anger, but I was holding on to, like, 50 years of shit from my childhood. And so I have always had problems focusing. Like, I was super slow reader. Every sentence would remind me of something else, and my eyes would continue reading, but. Yeah, but I wouldn't retain any of it. Now that I've become a much more chill person, I. But anyway, I just remember being in the edit room and, you know, it was funny. My editor, Patrick Don Vito would be like, all right, go take a walk. They would literally just have me, like, go walk around the building. I would walk around the block, or we do a little walk and talk, smoke a cigar. And then I would come back in. I just. I just couldn't fucking sit in there any longer, staring at 58 takes or whatever. So I will say, listening to your

[Sponsor/Ad Voice 1]

album,

[Bill Burr]

as much as I loved the second, third, and fourth song, I mean, I loved all of it. The second turn, fourth song really grabbed

[Sponsor/Ad Voice 2]

me on the first side.

[Bill Burr]

But my favorites were the last two songs on the album, so. And it's also A nice thing where, you know, you can, it's something else that I missed from the analog years. That's a band would put out an album that you can just listen front to back. They're trying the whole time. It isn't like, okay, here's the single and let's just give you a bunch of bullshit. So I just want to let you know that all the hard work you guys put into this, it's, it's really a, it's a great album.

[Sponsor/Ad Voice 2]

Thanks.

[Julian Casablancas]

Yeah, the last two songs, that's, I think the Before Last is kind of the, the, the Costa Rica energy seeped in to the music there a little bit and, and then the last song was that last night. So, yeah, those are two organically in Costa Rica creations. All right, well, whatever you ask.

[Bill Burr]

All right, now I gotta ask you, I gotta ask you about the tour bus here that you're sitting on. Are you guys already touring?

[Julian Casablancas]

Yeah, yeah, we're, I'm in Denver right now.

[Bill Burr]

And so when did you rap on this recording this album and how soon before the tour gets started?

[Julian Casablancas]

Oh my God. I mean, we were mixes. Debates master. Like, we were basically mixing like a month. I think that's why the record got moved back is because, yeah, there was just like mixing, mixing stuff.

[Bill Burr]

So we really went out with, with the, the banned arguments. Do you know each other well enough where you're just like, all right, I'm not gonna say it this way.

[Julian Casablancas]

So I mean, yeah, I think for most, most people involved, it's, I think we've, we've, we've, we've come a long way and I think we know how to talk to each other, you know, pretty respectfully and yeah, I think, I mean, I, you know, that is a

[Bill Burr]

great thing by the way. You know, I got some years on you. It is the, the amount of the older you get, the more arguments you can avoid and you still learn how to be heard. Yeah, like me and my stand up friends that I started with in our 20s, like, we almost killed each other in our 20s, and then we sort of bottomed out in our 30s. In our 40s, we started to figure it out and now we don't even argue anymore. Like you just sort of like. But we don't have to do it the way you guys did it. Like we, you know, when I went on tour, maybe I would bring like one person with me, but a few times I've gone out on a bus with like four or five other comedians and then you quickly realize, like, okay, this is the Late guy. This is the pussy guy. This is the drug guy. Sometimes. Usually that's the same person. And yeah, I went with one time. This. The late guy. He would always miss the car ride to the airport. So then he would book another car. And I finally said to him, I'm going, dude, you're costing us money. And he. And he didn't know. He goes, dude, the tour pays for. I had to be like, buddy, where the tour. Like, this other guy just paid two thirds of that car. Like, that should be billed to you. So at what point did you guys. I'm glad you didn't do the therapist thing. I've seen bands do that. Like, just bring in. Who's that giant guy with the big head? Always yelling at people in those conference rooms? Tony. Tony Sumpter or other. Just Tony. Tony Robbins.

[Julian Casablancas]

Oh, yeah, yeah.

[Bill Burr]

Like, those guys like that. Sort of like, it's like, are you helping people or are you toxic? I can't. Like, you kind of. You're kind of yelling at broke people for being broke and tell them that they need to get their shit together. Like, whenever I see him yelling at somebody, I always feel like I think this person needs some love. I think they need to be held. Or maybe I think they've been called a fucking idiot enough. Not that he literally does that, but I was kind of shocked when I. Because he was always on regular tv, but when I saw the uncut version, I was kind of surprised that he was yelling at broke people. Like a special teams coach.

[Julian Casablancas]

Yeah. I mean. Yeah. I don't. Group therapy. I mean, I feel like that's weird when you're kind of a random person's opinion is gonna override things. But I think maybe sometimes, like, mediators. I almost feel like every family should have a mediator or something. But I think mediators theoretically are not. Could help maybe, I don't know, some relationships. I don't know.

[Bill Burr]

I think it depends on the psychological makeup. If you get a narcissist in there, they're only going to want to hear themselves talk, and they're not going to want somebody else to come in and hold them accountable. This has been my right.

[Julian Casablancas]

Wow. Okay. Can we have names, please? Specific names. Just kidding.

[Bill Burr]

I would just say this. I had the required childhood to become a comedian, and this is where all of this is coming from. So you kind of live in, like, assimilation. And one of the, like, narcissists are hilarious from a distance.

[Julian Casablancas]

So you're talking about your family.

[Bill Burr]

Roughly. We'll say roughly. What's Funny about them is they don't think anybody knows what the fuck they're talking about. Like, they could be like a carpenter if they ran into an astronaut. And if the astronauts started to tell them what it was like to go to the moon, they would interrupt and start explaining, explaining to the astronaut what they were doing. Like, that's. That's the sort of shit that I observed.

[Julian Casablancas]

Wow.

[Bill Burr]

When I grew up. Oh, yeah. No, it was. If I ever run into you, you know, like, outside of the Internet, I can flesh out some of these stories. They're too fucking. They're real. You know, as far as me putting together my new hour, I've been touching on some of this stuff and, like, I really was sit with my lovely wife the other night going, like, I can't put this shit out. Yeah, this is too fucked up. But I will say it in front of people with their phones locked up because I've been getting a lot of people coming up to me telling me they kind of had similar. They could really. I was really surprised at the amount of people that. I thought it was just gonna be, wow, this is the. This is madness. But I didn't expect it to be so relatable.

[Julian Casablancas]

Yeah, yeah, that's. I mean, that's so many big topics like that, like how people just. It's almost like you need parent licenses. Obviously not. You don't need one to have a kid, but maybe they could, you know, offer some kind of tax break to just like, at least just teach people a little bit how. How to maybe not fuck up kids so much. Yeah, there's like, really no guidance.

[Bill Burr]

No, they just kind of like. There's also. Yeah, there's also no very amazingly little information out there on how to help you not marry a psycho. Because what I think happened to a lot of people when I was growing up, specifically women, by the time they realized that the person they married was a fucking lunatic, they were usually three kids in. And, yeah, they kept buying, ah, baby, I'm sorry, I'm gonna quit drinking or I'm gonna quit doing this. I'm gonna quit doing that. And then they would be like, you know, early 30s, with a whole house full of kids, and it'd be like. It was almost like the guy knew he was a psycho. So you just have a ton of kids so they couldn't leave. You just would bury them. Bury them in babies. No, I heard was the working title for your album, Bury Them in Babies.

[Julian Casablancas]

I mean, that's related somehow. I just. Because, yeah, I mean, you just you people, you wise up later. It just takes so long to figure out who you are or what. I don't know. There's, like, two things. There's, like, what kind of person you want to be and then. And then who you are, like, honestly figuring that out and. And, yeah, you just. See, you get a job you hate or marry the wrong. You just kind of. You're forced into these things. It's almost like, I wish, like, you went to college in your 40s or something. You know, that's when I'd be, like, interested in, like, learning. There's so much cool information out there, but it's like you're forced to kind of learn it in your teens, and you don't give a shit, and then you're forced to make decisions that you're not ready to make, and then if you get out of it, I feel like maybe we have evolved through that, and I just feel like so much more in a better place now. And.

[Bill Burr]

Well, I didn't know I liked to read until I was in my 30s, because that was always. Because they were always, you know, having you read, like, Beowulf or some shit from, like, 400 years ago, and I was just like, I hate this. I don't know what it's about. I'm stupid. I'm not good at reading. And then I did. And then one day, I finally. I don't know, I somehow was in a bookstore one day, and I was just like, oh, wait, I can choose what I want to read.

[Julian Casablancas]

No, I hate every book I. Every book you read in school, you hate. But then if you. Then you try reading outside, and, yeah, it's the same, like, oh, wow. This is inspiring.

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[Bill Burr]

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[Bill Burr]

Why can't they make that for your face?

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[Bill Burr]

We got two left.

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[Bill Burr]

Even unlimited.

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[Bill Burr]

it away there in the end, you

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[Julian Casablancas]

Hi.

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[Bill Burr]

Get the fuck out of here.

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[Julian Casablancas]

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a tree inside with no sunlight. All right, that's it. Back to the podcast.

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There was one story I read in

[Bill Burr]

high school, and I'll wrap this up

[Sponsor/Ad Voice 2]

soon because I know you probably have a show tonight.

[Bill Burr]

We read this story and it was a short story and it was about this little kid who was up in a tree and he was yelling at these older kids and he was annoying the shit out of him. I think they were playing catch and he was criticizing him and he was yelling at him and stuff. And in the end, he ends up falling out of the tree and he cries and his mother comes and gets him. So the teacher comes in, it's high school, and they're like, so, what'd you think of the story? And everybody was like, go stupid. Thought it was stupid. Everybody was saying it was stupid. And I was sitting there. I loved it because there was always that little wise ass kid and you wanted to beat the fuck out of him and you couldn't because you'd get in trouble. And by an act of God, he falls out of the tree and you got what you wanted. And then you could stay there and watch him cry in front of his mother and not get in trouble.

[Julian Casablancas]

His pain soothed me.

[Bill Burr]

No, now I don't look at the story that way. But that, that was probably, you know, those are the years when, you know, I was a teenager and I didn't think I was angry. I thought I was.

[Julian Casablancas]

This was a book. This was a book. You were.

[Bill Burr]

It was a short story. So you had to go home. He had to read it. And that's what it was. It was some kid in the tree making fun of these older kids playing catch. And then in the end, they wanted to beat the fuck out of him, but they couldn't because he was little. And then he fell out of the tree. It was great.

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I considered it a happy ending.

[Bill Burr]

They all thought it was stupid. So, anyway, this is gonna be a tough segue. The album's called Reality Waits Awaits.

[Julian Casablancas]

Reality was waiting. The guy in the tree. Sorry.

[Sponsor/Ad Voice 1]

Yeah, I just wanted Yeah.

[Bill Burr]

I want to congratulate you on this album. And what I love about your band is that you're continuing to grow. And this album does not sound like any other album. And one of the hardest things I think, to do is to continue to grow as a band. I think, like, as a comedian, you can do it subtly. I definitely have people going, like, saying, I'm not funny anymore, but most of them are racist.

[Julian Casablancas]

Wow.

[Bill Burr]

Oh, yeah. I get hammered on for that shit anyway.

[Julian Casablancas]

Which way?

[Bill Burr]

Oh, they don't like who I married, and they don't like that, you know,

[Julian Casablancas]

so they think you're racist against white people.

[Bill Burr]

I mean, I feel like I'm balanced. I make fun of Joe Biden.

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I make fun of Trump.

[Bill Burr]

I don't know what it. I don't know what it is that they want, but, like, you know, it's one of those things if.

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If you're.

[Bill Burr]

You know, if you're on the left, it's like, fucking, shut up these fucking celebrities about politics. Shut the fuck up. But then you can go to the UFC event at the White House, and that's, like, totally fucking okay. It's just like, all right, that's not fucking hanging out with celebrities, and that's not hanging out. Like, I don't know. I don't understand the math, but I haven't lost sight of what my job is. My job is to make fun of all of it. So that's kind of like what I do. And I don't. I don't know how we got on this. This. This thing. Oh, I'm talking about. And about how you guys continue to grow as a band. And I know, you know, every single band when I was growing up, there was always somebody like, I like their

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first two albums now, they sold out.

[Bill Burr]

Like, you're supposed to be eating fucking hot dogs without a bun for the rest of your life, and that means that you're making good music. And that always annoyed me, especially once I started doing standup, that these people felt that they, like, why would you be upset that someone's continuing to grow? So, like, when your albums come out, it's an exciting thing as a music lover, because I know that you're gonna try new stuff. And I felt like a lot of, like, just, like, what the band was playing. I felt in a lot of areas, it was more like a vibe or an aesthetic kind of thing. And then you doing the auto tune over it, like, kind of like, it worked. I thought it worked. So congratulations on that. And when are you coming to la? So I can see you guys.

[Julian Casablancas]

I mean, I'm personally going there in a few days, but we're playing on the 22nd of August.

[Bill Burr]

Oh, I'll be here around the 29th. I'll be on the road. Okay. Where are you guys playing?

[Julian Casablancas]

We're playing. It's a festival. I think it's in Pasadena. Just like heaven.

[Bill Burr]

Oh, okay.

[Julian Casablancas]

Like my. What do you call that? Want to play like the guy who whispers the line? Where. Who? Andre?

[Bill Burr]

Yeah, you go line.

[Julian Casablancas]

Little. Little bus. Bus demon hiding over there. I didn't see you.

[Bill Burr]

All right, well, we Talked briefly about RVs, really quickly before we started, because I was talking about your bus and you said how much you loved it and you would live on one. Will Ferrell has a new. A new series. I think it's on Netflix, called the Hawk or something like that. He's a professional golfer, and it's really cool because the guy's absurd, but it's grounded, so it's getting to see Will do dramatic and his comedy stuff, it's really great. But he has an old school bus that he pulls up in an old school tour bus. Remember those old Greyhounds where you'd have to step up, so you had the two layer roof. You remember those? I'm older than you, so. And when you sat up, like, you sat up much higher than the bus driver, so they had like a second windshield for people that were up there that was like, on, like the roof. It was only like, you know, like six inches or whatever.

[Julian Casablancas]

It was like a double Decker sort of.

[Bill Burr]

But it wasn't. It wasn't. It was more like you stepped up. It was the ultimate in Greyhound luxury in, like the 60s and the 70s, and they had a few of those left over. But he has. He has a tour bus like that. If you're a nerd like me and you want to check it out in

[Julian Casablancas]

real life or on the show?

[Bill Burr]

Oh, on the show. Oh, okay. I don't know those guys.

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I'm just watching the show.

[Bill Burr]

All right. Anyways, the album comes out, which will be tomorrow when this comes out. It comes out on July 24th. An amazing new album from the Strokes. Reality awaits. They are touring right now. Go to, I imagine, the Strokes dot com. Where can they go to find out where you got Net Hotmail. How do you do it?

[Julian Casablancas]

I mean, yeah, you can probably hear it anywhere. I don't know, YouTube, Spotify.

[Bill Burr]

No, no, I'm saying for your tour dates, where they can find your tour

[Julian Casablancas]

D. Oh, yeah, sure. Strokes.com. that sounds right. The Strokes dot com. Yeah, you can look up. Yeah, it's the Internet.

[Bill Burr]

It's easy. All right. Hey, man, I came up during websites. Everybody had to have a fucking website. I don't know what I'm doing. So anyway, we're going to. You know, this cool thing that we do is we always play, like, back to back episodes. We have an old school, almost like a rerun, like the old days of television, but in between. Andrew Semelis, who you met earlier, always plays the track. And we would love to play a track off of your new album to get people excited to buy the album. So if you had to pick one. Julian, what are you gonna go with?

[Julian Casablancas]

I guess you said you'd like the last two songs. Why don't we start with do the last song that I was. I was talking about earlier.

[Bill Burr]

All right. Tyrants of the Mellow Moon. Yeah, last song, second side. All right. Well, hey, man, it's was really exciting to finally meet you. I've been watching you guys since way back in the day when I used to do. Remember that place? Surf Reality?

[Sponsor/Ad Voice 1]

You ever play that place?

[Julian Casablancas]

No. Yeah.

[Bill Burr]

Yeah, sometimes they'd have bands, sometimes they would have really just out there. Comedy. I used to bomb there all the time, but it was worth bombing just because I would see cool bands and really cool Brooklyn. No, it was. I want to say it was just south of Houston. SoHo, as they call it, but it was more like on, like, the east side. And it was like, shady. It was like 95, 96. When I used to go over there. Yeah, it was one of my favorite rooms. So, anyways. All right, well, thank you so much for coming on. I hope this was. Wasn't too painful to talk to a comedian about your. Your new album, but I'm. You guys should be proud.

[Julian Casablancas]

I wish. I want to interview you sometime. You should. I should be interviewing you. You're way more interesting and cool. And thanks for taking the time to help me move some units.

[Bill Burr]

Absolutely. At the end of the day, that's. That's all it's about. Pushing tickets and making money, you know, I mean, get another bag of blow.

[Julian Casablancas]

It would be cool to. Yeah. Talk. Not in public on the Internet, but, you know, I get it. That's how.

[Bill Burr]

Well, whenever you're out here, hit me up. And my wife is always looking for an excuse for me to get out of the house because I, you know, you'll see, I'm a lot.

[Julian Casablancas]

That would be amazing. No, man. Such a fan. And keep up the greatness and. Yeah.

[Sponsor/Ad Voice 1]

All Right.

[Bill Burr]

We'll write back at you. Tyrants of the Mellow Moon, the last song on the Second side of Reality Awaits, which comes out tomorrow. And check out the Strokes on the road. Julian, thank you so much for coming on.

[Sponsor/Ad Voice 2]

Thanks, Bill.

[Bill Burr]

Bye, buddy. Hope to see you soon. Okay, bye. Bye.

[Sponsor/Ad Voice 2]

So we go for one more ride. But now I wait for another that chance when I will take everything I can. Hey, what's going on? It's Bill Burr and it's time for the Monday morning podcast for Monday, July 23, 2018. How's it going? How are you? What do you say there? Before I get going, I have something to promote. Old freckles Old ringside Red face is going to be at the next Rough and Rowdy event August 1st in Youngstown, Ohio. Legendary. Legendary in the fight game. Youngstown, Ohio. It's Sunday, August 5th, 2018 at 7:00pm Eastern Time. You can pre order at RNR4 pay per view stream. You go right to the website rough and rowdy, brawl.com rough the letter n R O W D Y Brawl B R A W l dot com. Check it out. I was at the last one and you know, it's one of the most favorite things I've ever done in show business. It's just, you know, it's everything you want to see. You know, it's, it's, it's conflicting groups of people duking it out with not a lot of skill and you just get to sit there and enjoy it. I'm thinking there's going to be a lot of maniacs there. As you know, Youngstown is no joke, all right? And I can't wait to be there and not fight anybody like the coward that I am. Having said that, let me be, let me live my best life. Let me be a hero to myself. My goals for the second half of 2018 is to be my own personal hero. These fucking social media people. Have you ever, like, there's nothing. I don't even know where to begin with this. If I see one more fucking fat miserable loser was wearing a T shirt that has some sort of self help advice to me, like they've reached the Mecca of peace and happiness. It's just like, is that fucking T shirt for you? Is it for me? You know, I just saw this, this fucking miserable looking person sitting down in the airport, you know, tens and tens and tens of fucking pounds overweight, eating shit food with a T shirt that says love yourself. You know what I mean? And all of this fucking crap now where you pat people on the back because they're fucking up their lives, but they still feel good about.

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You know what? I like who I am.

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I'm not saying you shouldn't like who you are, but, I mean, you got to look at yourself in the mirror at some point and just be like, dude, the fuck are we doing here? You know, not saying I'm perfect. I'm not a perfect person, right? But I'm not, you know, sitting around here, like, calling myself a hero, you know, based off of all my fucking shortcomings. Hollywood puts pressure. If I could dip it tonight, it's not a Hollywood. Hollywood gives people what they want. All right, you fucking cunts. So sick of everybody blaming this innocent town. We here in Hollywood happen to be some of the. The most dependable, loyal, honest human beings you're ever gonna meet. Yeah, I couldn't even get through without laughing. Whatever. Fuck you. This cut this time will give you whatever the fuck you buy, okay? And you've been looking at fucking abs and big tits since the second they had moving pictures, so I. I don't want to fucking hear it. These fucking assholes. You know, then I like those other people, the. The fucking fat guys with the. With the tough guy shit on their shirt, you know? Do I look like I give a shit? You know, that's. No, no, you don't. Yeah, I don't. I would believe that you don't give a shit about anything, all right? With your fungus riddled toenails while wearing your little flip flops. Oh, my God. Do you ever see people that their toenails, they look like petrified wood and they're literally walking around just, you know, I guess living their best life, but making you look at them. I swear to God, man, I saw somebody in the airport recently that had these flip flops that also had, like, this toenail flap on it, which I was really excited about. I hear stomping feet. That can only mean one thing. Oh, hey, buddy. How you doing? Daddy's in here making a fool of himself

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running in here.

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Come on, come on, come on.

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You can't stand.

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Look how big you're getting.

[Sponsor/Ad Voice 1]

Uh.

[Sponsor/Ad Voice 2]

Oh, come on. Come on, buddy. Do what your mom says. Trust me, I've tried it the other way. It doesn't work.

[Julian Casablancas]

No, not. Bye.

[Sponsor/Ad Voice 2]

Come on. All right. The Monday morning podcast has been briefly interrupted. Oh, somebody's tired.

[Sponsor/Ad Voice 1]

Bye.

[Bill Burr]

Bye.

[Sponsor/Ad Voice 2]

Oh, you want to say hi? Let me give her a hug. Hang on, I gotta hit pause. All right, I'm back. Crisis averted. The fuck was I talking about? How Great people are in Hollywood, how trustworthy we are. You know, there's a couple of bad apples. I'm not gonna lie to you. There's a few people out here, you know, I might be one of those people who knows, you know? Anyways, what was I talking about? Doggone it. Ah, Jesus Christ.

[Sponsor/Ad Voice 1]

I just interrupted.

[Sponsor/Ad Voice 2]

Christ, it fucked up my whole flow. I don't know what I was talking. Who gives a shit, right? What do I hit stop and go back and fucking try and listen to it? Anyways, I have no idea what I was talking about. Let me plow ahead here, as I always do. I swear to God, this fucking house. I swear to God, this fucking house. If it's not one thing, it's another. Every time I get something fixed, something else breaks. You know what I mean? This can't be what owning a house is like. I just.

[Bill Burr]

I had to have bought out.

[Sponsor/Ad Voice 2]

There's got to be some sort of fucking lemon law. It's un fucking. It's un fucking believable. What are those people? They have a lawyer on retainer. That just means they're constantly getting in fucking trouble. So they're just constantly paying the fucking guy. I should have a plumber on retainer. I know what that means. What the fuck does that mean? It just sounds cool. I have a lawyer on retainer. Oh my God. Oh my God.

[Bill Burr]

Give me an idea what the fuck my dad does.

[Sponsor/Ad Voice 2]

That is. God, I still cannot get over the fact that an adult said that to another adult. Do you have any idea what the fuck my dad does? You know, it's like. It's like you're there and the other guy's there. You guys are of facing off with each other and then the fucking other dude grabs him by the throat, throws him down to the ground and then he stands up and all he has is, you're fucked. You're fucked. And I, evidently, he walks away to go get his dad. The kid's in his 20s, dad. What's the matter? Is that 35 year old across the street picking on you again, son? Anyways, I went down to Comic Con. Ol Freckles, who's done nothing but make fun of Comic Con forever. I went down there on Thursday because Vince and all the guys at Better Call Saul were nice enough to ask me to mediate. Is that the word? Basically host the panel. The Better Call Saul to promote this season premiere August 6th on AMC. Season four premiere and and after that, the ten year Breaking Bad reunion. Ten years since their first episode debuted. I would think 2008. And I went down there and there was all these people dressed like superheroes. Most people are not dressed up, but there's enough people that dressed up that it was cool. And I went down there and I gotta tell you, I really like those fucking nerds, man. They were really cool people. I only teased them one time because I was saying something that was a spoiler and I was like, hey, spoiler alert. Everybody saw last season Better Call Saul. You saw what happened in the last episode and this dude down front was like, yeah, I didn't see it. I was like, all right, well stick a couple of lightsabers in your ear, cuz I have to fucking read this show. Something like that.

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Everybody laughed.

[Sponsor/Ad Voice 2]

Everybody had a good time with it. I wasn't sure, you know, the self sabotage in me wanted to walk out and open with how you do it, you fucking nerds. But I, I just didn't want to bring him back to high school. I figured I was in their dojo. I'm going to be polite, you know what I mean? As fun as it is to do what that fucking guy in Fox News did that one time when he went on that show with Barbara Walters, you know, remember that? Half the fucking crew of them walked off the stage. I can't remember anybody's fucking names anymore. Anyways, I was down there and I had a great time and I flew with my instructor down there in an R44. It's the first time I've flown. I hadn't flown since the end of May. You know, I was overseas, you know, doing gigs and celebrating my birthday. Probably far too long, admittedly. And then the last week of June, I, you know, in the beginning of July, I had to get caught up with all the work that I lost. I missed, I mean, sorry. And I flew and I did all right, man, you know, little rusty at first. And then it all fucking came back and I had my best effing landing I've ever had. As far as, you know, not having to look at my instruments too much and just feeling, just feeling it being. Coming one with the fucking machine, man. It was getting dark out. We came back to Burbank and we were listening to the ATIs, which is just the information that's updated every hour for the airport. You have to listen to it and some computer voice, you know, winds coming, you have information, Nike. So then you get on with Burbank Tower. Like Burbank Tower. Helicopter, blah blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

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Blew it.

[Sponsor/Ad Voice 2]

Helicopter fucking Hollywood. Reservoir requested full stop at Atlantic with Information Yankee. So they know you got the latest information. Then they tell you what to do. And there was a bunch of traffic coming in, so they told us to hold over old Mako, which is this fucking hunk of shit Macy's off the 170 that they're finally redoing. And you just fucking orbit over there to. All the big boys go in and then they say, you know, helicopter, blah, blah, blah, cleared for landing Runway 8 west of delta 8. So then you just say all that shit back. So I said all that shit back. I come in, they got the, the fucking, whatever they call, you know, those fucking. The power lines there, should that chop your head off. I flew over the tower like you're supposed to, not over the wires. And then I was coming in at the right speed because there was a jet behind me, but I was a little too high. So I just banked it really hard using my GS to make the fucking helicopter heavier. Don't ask me how. Physics, right? And then it fucking came down. I was going, coming down like 600ft per minute, which as long as I'm moving forward is fine. But as I slowed down, I got it down to 300. Commercial fucking landing right in the fucking glide path, right on the numbers and fucking bang the left on Delta 8. And my instructor goes, that's the best landing you've ever done. You're becoming one with the helicopter. And I turned around and my wife's in the back and her headphones weren't working and she didn't hear it. And you know what, I hate to say it, so it was like it never happened. And I was literally sitting there like a five year old talking to my

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mom, going, nia, did you hear that? Did you hear?

[Sponsor/Ad Voice 2]

And she was like, what? No, I can't, I can't. You know, there's a part of me that actually thinks she did hear it, you know, but to keep me in fucking line, to keep me keep chasing the fucking carrot, she acted like she didn't hear it. So anyways, moving along. I want to thank everybody on the cast of Breaking Bad and Better Call Saul for doing the heavy lifting and telling the stories and all that. I mean, I was having like, you know, nightmares about hosting that and me turning into the real version of Chris Farley, you know, that, that character he would do. Hey, Paul McCartney, remember you and John Lennon, you guys wrote the White Album. Yes, Chris, yes, I do. Yeah, that was awesome. Like, I was worried that I was going to be doing that. I'm not going to say there wasn't a couple moments of that. But, you know, the whole time I was up there, I was like, why didn't they get Jimmy Kimmel to do this? That's my first fucking thought. Because I remember he did. He did the. When they had the final episode and in la, they did this thing at the Hollywood Forever Cemetery and they showed the. The final episode. You could sit outside and fucking with all these other Breaking Bad fans. It was really a fucking awesome night. And Kimmel hosted it and he did a great job. So I imagine the reason why he didn't do it was because he had to host his own show. And. Yeah, that makes sense, right? He had host his talk show tapes at 5, and that was gonna be from 3 to 5:30 down in San Diego.

[Bill Burr]

Oh, there we go.

[Sponsor/Ad Voice 2]

There you go. That's why old freckles got called up from the Miners, huh?

[Sponsor/Ad Voice 1]

For a cup of coffee.

[Sponsor/Ad Voice 2]

Speaking of cutting. Called up from the Miners and a cup of coffee and all that. I'm back into watching the Red Sox, very least paying attention, man. I started with me trying, like, using listening to baseball as a way to not flip out in traffic and, you know, and just settling in to just not. I just stopped fighting the city, just like, yeah, man, there's gonna be a lot of traffic. There's going to be a lot of people doing things that I'm not going to like. And I just need to just. I'm just going to sit there and watch it happen and just sort of inch along. As I listen to five innings of a baseball game and go maybe three quarters of a mile, that's what I'm going to do. And that's what I've been doing. And I just listened to the Red Sox games, and the Red Sox, I'll tell you, dude, they're on fire. I was worried that the All Star break was going to slow them down. They'd won 10 out of 11. I'm sorry, they won 11 out of. Not 10 out of 11. They won 11 out of 12. That's right, because they went 10 and, oh, then they lost one and then they won right before the All Star Game. I know, I sound like the fucking Rain Man. Then we just took two out of three from the Tigers. So we've won 13 out of the last 15. And the Yankees just keep winning, too. But I gotta tell you, I watched a little bit of the Astros, too. I've been watching those guys. I still think they're the team to beat. They have Verlander they got a great pitching staff, and they. They got the bats. They got the whole fucking thing. And they won it last year. And nobody's really talking about him. Everybody's all excited for fucking Yankees, Red Sox. And this is what I think, all right? Yankees bullpen sucks. That's going to come back and bite him in the ass. And Chris Sale is our guy.

[Progressive Insurance Announcer]

And,

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you know, as much as I love David Price, you know, he had a really rough outing against the Yankees in New York. And him cursing out Dennis Eckersley, I don't know. I don't know that. That I was like, oh, that's a Hall of Famer, man. You don't curse out a fucking hall of Famer. So I'm worried that that guy's a little, you know. What, are you a little shaky between the. The ears there? Little Odell Beckham there? Right? You know, I don't know. I hope he isn't, because if he isn't, we got two beasts. He is a beast. But I'm just worried that when he went down in New York and all his people. Let's go, Yankee.

[Julian Casablancas]

You fire.

[Bill Burr]

Fuck you. You been fuck.

[Sponsor/Ad Voice 2]

He kind of imploded. Rather than being like, I'm gonna ruin that fat man. Titted, singing, fucking jackass. Yankee fan. Do they still do that roll call thing? It's like, jesus Christ. I always feel like a musical's gonna break out after that. Yeah, they do have a lot of that. And then they do the YMCA thing. I mean, it's just, you know, and every time you think that's the worst thing, then we sing Sweet Caroline. It's just. I don't know what has happened to both of those franchises. It's so weird how so much shit just got nicer. But people are so much meaner in a way, you know, like, you go to New York City, like, fucking Yankees. I went to a game in 1983 there. The whole family went down there, and it was like taking your fucking. We do a day game, and as you got to New York, there was literally cars just burned out on the side of the fucking highway. And I don't mean in the middle of nowhere on some side road, on the side of the highway, like, burned to the fucking ground. I remember that was one of the things. When Giuliani got in office, it was one of the first things he did, was he got those things off of the highway. That was such a bad fucking look for New York. Or maybe it was a good look because it was warning terrorists, terrorists, tourists about what they were about to experience. But I don't know everybody who gives Giuliani credit. Who is the head. The chief of police there that he fired along the way so he'd get all the credit. Oh, Bill, do you always have to be a. Yeah, I do. Giuliani, Chief of police fired. Let's see who this guy's. Come on, come on. Slow Internet. He's Bill Burr. He has the slowest Internet in Los Angeles. Still fucking going. And now, man, I like, I don't even know. I don't even know. Like a sporting event, there used to always be like an element of, hey, keep your head on a fucking swivel and Jesus Christ, you have no idea what you're going to see. Like, people acted like fucking animals. There was fights in the stands and all that type of shit. I'm not saying, obviously that I wanted to go back to that, but somewhere along the line, like, it just became like. It's like, it's just weird. It's like you go into a Chuck E. Cheese. It's still loading, by the way. Still loading. That's probably because I typed in Giuliani and something negative. That's my guess. I'm going to go with the old conspiracy theory here. Yeah. Anyways, I don't know if you go to sporting events now, it's like every time there's a stop at your play, then something happens up on the fucking flat screen. Everybody just stares at it with their mouth hanging open. And I really think that that's like this thing so people, like, don't fight and behave themselves, you know? You know, you got that camera on your flat screen tv and all those fucking nerds at the Best Buy sit there watching you jerking off to the fucking Charlie's Angels on me tv, whatever you're doing, right? But you know, in between those times when they're waiting for you to fuck your wife or whatever those fucking nerd perverts are doing down there, that for some reason is not fucking enforced. You know what I mean? You got all this fucking me too. Shit happening, and meanwhile these fucking nerds are watching you in your living room. It's. I'm not making this up. Like, they've gotten busted doing it. I don't know why they admitted to it. They're like, are you doing that? They're like, oh, you know, we're not going to say we're not. I don't know. Anyways, yeah, they just sit there. I mean, if you're gonna. If you're gonna go after the the pervert. Okay. Giuliani renews ties with police chief he ousted in 1995. William J. Bratton left the New York City Police. New York City Police Commissioner with Mayor Rudolph Giuliani. The two men. Yeah, that's the guy, from what I've heard. Now granted, this might have been people that hated Giuliani, which God knows a lot of people do. This might be bullshit, but I don't know. Who is this coming from? This is the New York Times. All right, so they hate Giuliani. All right, the two men, Rudolph Giuliani and his former police commissioner, William J. Bratton, had not spoken to each other in 10 years. This is from 10 years ago. This was written when they had crossed paths of social gathering, they exchanged little more than icy nods. But time, tragedy and presidential campaign has started to change all of that. All right, I don't know what the fuck it is. I think that was the guy that really turned it around. That started on the road where it's now, like, it's weird. It's like my father in law said when he came down, he was standing in Brooklyn, goes, gee, wow, this is like. It's like a theme park, you know, it's like people riding bicycles along the river and all this stuff. It's sort of like a. It's sort of like if you have money, it's become this utopia or something. I don't know. When does the pendulum swing back? That's what I want to know. Jesus Christ. Because I imagine in the 70s, when New York almost went bankrupt, there was a bunch of old people going, I

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remember when this place was a dreamland.

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When was that, Grandma?

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Back when whites were only allowed to play baseball. Back when Hitler was walking the earth.

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Well, I suppose those things weren't right,

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but you could leave your door unlocked.

[Sponsor/Ad Voice 2]

That is the thing, man. Anytime you say good old days, there's always some fucked up shit going on, right?

[Julian Casablancas]

I don't. Yeah.

[Sponsor/Ad Voice 2]

Bill.

[Bill Burr]

Yeah.

[Sponsor/Ad Voice 2]

That really wasn't anything deep.

[Sponsor/Ad Voice 1]

I didn't say it was.

[Sponsor/Ad Voice 2]

All right, so what I've been doing lately besides not boozing, Tell you right now. Oh, fucking old freckles.

[Bill Burr]

Here.

[Sponsor/Ad Voice 2]

I haven't drank all this month. It's been great, man. It's really been great. I'm still fucking tired, though, having a kid. You're still tired. But I remember, like, I remember one day waking up when I was on the road anticipating a hangover and not having one, and I was like, wow, it's pretty awesome, you know, I'm trying to eat. Well, Thinking of talking to a nutritionist, you know, I'm saying I got to get the answers to the test here rather than listening to fucking every Tom, Dick and Harry. You know, Dean Del Rey knows what the fuck he's talking about. But I'm getting bored with the diet. I got to add other shit and want to add some vegan meals, you know. You know, not because I want to go vegan, just because I know if you eat them, then, you know, your stomach is flatter. Just give my body a break from, you know, beef bourguignon, skirt steaks and all of that shit, you know, I saw this thing the other day. It's like you just. You don't even know who the fuck to believe. Like, one of the things, you know, when you look at vegetarians and you look at vegan people, you know, there's an astounding level of fleshy, fat people that don't eat meat. You know what I mean? And they'll eat French fries because it's made from potatoes and they're a vegetarian, but it's fried. And they'll say, you know, potatoes aren't good for you anyways, as far as I know. Maybe I shouldn't even say that. I don't want to be all Oprah here and get people to stop eating potatoes and then the whole fucking potato farm farming industry sues me here at the Monday morning podcast. But there's just a lot, you know, they eat, like, fucking. Just all carbohydrates and shit, and they just stay away from meat. I think a lot of people love animals, but they hate reading is what I've sort of learned from looking at vegetarians and vegan people, you know, so they don't eat meat, but then they don't really know what the fuck it is they're doing. But the people that do take the time to do it right, like, nobody who lived in this house for a hundred fucking years evidently took the time to do something right.

[Bill Burr]

I didn't do that.

[Sponsor/Ad Voice 2]

They just called their fucking friend to fix it, didn't it? Fuck getting a permit.

[Julian Casablancas]

Fuck.

[Sponsor/Ad Voice 1]

Fuck it.

[Sponsor/Ad Voice 2]

Somebody licensed. Fuck all of that. What did they do? They just fucking lived here. They had a problem, they asked a friend. And I think a lot of vegans and vegetarians do that. They fucking talk to people rather than reading. And that's what I do because it's easier. It's easier than sitting down and actually doing the fucking work. So, you know, I see that, you know, like, can anybody, if gun to your head, can Anybody tell you whether having an egg is good for you or bad at this point, Eggs have been good, bad, good, and now they're starting to be bad again. While people who are saying they're good are fucking, you know, they're duking. This is like the rubber match, the rubber game, whatever the fuck it's called, right? So I'm gonna. I'm gonna talk to a nutritionist and I'm gonna. I'm gonna, you know, try to read up on it, but it's. It's really dry. And if you actually look up on becoming a vegetarian or, or eating a little like that, like a vegan or something, I mean, it's just Hatfields and McCoy and McCoys between the meat eaters, the carnivores and the vegetarian people. And there's a lot of money at stake. No pun intended. Sorry about that. So I think like the big farming cattle people, you know, they're trying to have all this come up first and then all the. The tree hugging, like, hey, man, like, you know, trees are alive, man. Those fucking people are trying to say that, you know, eating meat is like. Like, I saw this thing, right? Well, they were saying that this guy was trying to say that, like, animals get protein from eating plants. And when you eat an animal, it's an indirect protein because she should have just gone directly to the plant. And it's like, well, then explain tigers and their fucking, you know, Mr. Universe physiques as far as I know, which is I don't know shit. So I should shut up right now and google what do tigers eat? What do tigers eat? Meat only. No wonder. Always in a bad mood, can't even take a shit. Siberian. The species diet ordinary consists about 50% wild boar meat. Doesn't that sound delicious? If they cannot get their paws on some wild boar, they've been known to eat elk, deer and licks. They're like, what are you with me for, man? I didn't do nothing. And sometimes even bears. Oh, my God. What size? Jesus Christ. That's a big thing in Asia, huh? Putting like a bear and a tiger in a fucking cage and just filming it. If large sources of meat are not readily available, Siberian tigers will eat rabbits, fish, and any rodents they can get to. Let's see. Okay, well, there's no meat in that. And that's the first thing I saw. Do tigers eat Plan. What do tigers eat? Siberian. The species diet consists. That's still this tigers diet eating. Tigers eat a variety of prey ranging in size from termites to elephant calves. Oh, that would break my heart to see a baby elephant get killed. However, an integral component of the diet are large body prey weighing 45 pounds or larger, such as moose. What do you fucking mean, moose and bear. Where the fuck are those things? I thought they were. The moose were only over here. Deer species. Pigs, cows, horses, buffaloes and goats. Yeah, well, they have a different digestive system, evidently, because if you just fucking ate that, that's. They're basically on the Atkins diet, right? You eat as much fucking bacon as you want, Tiger's looking at you like. Yeah, I realize that. I realize that. So anyways, I'm gonna try to fucking. I don't know, I'm gonna talk to a nutritionist, somebody who read all this shit that I'm supposed to read, and maybe try to get them to tell me some. Oh, Bill, are you really gonna buy books of nutrition? Like you're gonna fucking read them?

[Sponsor/Ad Voice 1]

Do they have a lot of pictures?

[Sponsor/Ad Voice 2]

Anyways, I should probably read some advertising. I don't feel like fucking doing that. Hey, I'm almost, like, halfway through this season six of 77 Sunset Strip, and evidently, as I said, season six, you gotta watch it. It's on a 4am on MeTV. Just tape the fucking thing. I'm gonna get more people to watch it because I'm worried, because I found out that they started broadcasting all the episodes back in November and I missed the first five seasons. And. And we're getting towards the end here of season six because they didn't do a full season. They got canceled like, three quarters of the way through. And I'd like to see the original ones because I'd like to see what LA looked back then, you know, hopefully they do some exteriors, although I know most of it was formed on the back lot, filmed on the back lot in Warner Brothers. But I'm loving this season, so I'm worried that the other one's gonna be a little hokey because I guess a lot of people didn't like season six. First of all, they fired the whole fucking cast, as I mentioned.

[Julian Casablancas]

Sorry.

[Sponsor/Ad Voice 2]

But I also didn't realize that they made Ephraim Zimbalist jr's character a lot more surly and. But I'm loving them. So now I'm worried that I saw season six first, and if I go back and look at the others, I'm not gonna like the show the same way the other people, because I get. You just get used to how the guy behaves, you know? But some of the lines, man, some of the Shit that people say on there. Here's some ex. In, like, you know, women are talking about how guys behave around them. You know, like, in some of the shit that they say, it's like, jesus Christ. I mean, I'm sure that guy's out there, but what the fuck? You know? Since season six of 77 Sunset Strip sounds like what some of these women are describing. Here's some of the shit I heard them say. Guys saying to women on that show, Pipe down, shut up. Not to mention Ephraim. Ephraim tries to bang his fucking secretary. Tried to look up her dress. One episode, I'm just sitting there going, this guy would get me toed so fast, they'd have his full head of hair spinning, right? And then my favorite one ever, favorite one ever, as I mentioned on another podcast, is when he sat down in this episode with the actor that ended up playing the professor on Gilligan's Island. Sorry, I'm talking through yawns right now. The actor that played the professor on Gilligan's Island. And the guy was three drinks in, and Ephraim's meeting him. It's the middle of the day, and the guy orders his fourth drink, and Ephraim goes, you got a pretty active elbow for lunchtime. You want the sauce? That is the one thing also that I love about that show. It makes you feel better about drinking and smoking because Efrem zimbalist almost made 90, and there's barely a scene. He's not smoking a cigarette, and he's really smoking it, too. And that's just on the take that they use. So who knows? All right, with that, should I read a little bit of advertising? Yeah, why don't I do that? 77 Sunset Strip. Oh, Jesus, here we go. There's somebody new. Hey, by the way, you know what? I got a. I got an email from Darren King. Incredible drummer. One of the best drummers I've ever seen, to be honest with you. And I had no idea that he could sing and play guitar. But he did a cover of Richie. Oh, my God, I'm sabring. Is it Richie Havens? Let me make sure I have this right. Fuck. Yes, I was correct. Richie Havens does a song called Freedom, and he did a cover version of that that then goes into something else. That is fucking incredible. I tweeted out the video, and we'll have a link to it on the MM podcast. Jesus Christ. You know, I like watching how talented that guy is. I don't even know what the fuck I'm even doing in this business, man. Incredible, incredible monster talent. Check it out. And I heard he has a solo album coming out. People are looting to it. I hope he does. If he does, we're going to promote it here, and I hope you guys buy it, because he is the real deal. All right, let's check out some. Am I going to read some stories and, oh, you know what I'm actually going to do? I actually came across this thing. It says, news is bad for you. Okay? This is from something the guardian.com says. News is bad for you, and giving up reading it will make you happier. All right, now, I'll tell you right now, I didn't need this fucking article to tell me this. I just realized it. I figured it out after I went down a rabbit hole of fucking, you know, conspiracy theory. You guys remember that people listen to the podcast 10 years ago. I mean, I was fucking. I was. You know, I was Mr. You know, Chemtrail guy. You know, I was that guy saying, you got to shut down the Federal Reserve, and I had no solution to do. Like, what would. What you would do after that. You know, I'm sure people that are well read on it had the solution, but I didn't. So I was just walking around freaking people out. I was a cunt, basically. So anyways, it says news is bad for your house. So I just stopped watching the shit, all right? I'm just banking on the fact that. That there's going to be some smart people with a good heart that. That. That are gonna lead us out of this fucking mess, because I don't have any solutions, all right? I go on stage, I jump around like a monkey, and I make you laugh, okay? That's my lane. And as the Rock used to say, know your role and shut your mouth. So I'm staying over there. I try to watch the news. I try. I can't. You know, it's the weirdest thing going from Obama to Trump. Going from Obama where all they did was lick his balls for eight years. And then you go to Trump, and it's just like all they do is shit on the guy the entire fucking time. And they're both kind of doing, you know, with the foreign policy the same fucking shit. Although I don't. Trump is like a fucking lunatic. You know what I mean? I. You know, I heard. I was listening to the Howard Stern show, and he went on this fucking rant about Russia. It was just not talking about the fucking people, just talking about, you know, old Vladdy Daddy over there. He goes I'm sick of people fucking talking about Russia, you know, like. Like, they're not that bad. He's like, they fucking. You know, they kill gay people, they kill reporters just for having a difference of opinion. And.

[Sponsor/Ad Voice 1]

And he's right.

[Sponsor/Ad Voice 2]

He's fucking right. I don't know. I once that his. His. His fucking wife wore that coat when he was going to go visit those kids, that she was going to go visit those kids that they had stuck in cages, and she wore a jacket that said, I don't really care, do you? And then try to. Oh, that had to do with fake news. It's just like. It's literally like listening to a toddler lie.

[Bill Burr]

And I.

[Sponsor/Ad Voice 2]

God bless you if you can still watch that and try and stay politically active because, I don't know, it's just too fucking depressing. I can't fucking deal with it. So I choose not to watch. And the last presidency, you know, I just. I just. It was. I couldn't fucking. You know, I had hope. And then I was just like, oh, oh, this is gonna be more the same. Oh, bankers don't go to jail. Oh, yeah, yeah. Insurance companies could do whatever they fucking want. And yeah, we're not going to constructively criticize our foreign policy, and we're just going to stay the fucking course and shut down the government every fucking August for a week. And our solution is always going to be the same. Well, what if we raise the debt right? You know, and then meanwhile, everything that his wife did was just considered, like, angelic. It's just the whole fucking thing was annoying. That was like, when he was in office was like watching a fucking award show. Everybody's just walking around blowing each other, talking about how fucking brilliant they are. And then this went from an award show to a fucking train wreck. I honestly don't know how people have the stomach to pay attention. Like, you're. You're a whole other level tough mentally than I am. So anyways, here's. Here's this whole fucking article here. Says news is bad for you and giving up reading it will make you happier.

[Julian Casablancas]

All right?

[Sponsor/Ad Voice 2]

In the past few decades, the Fortune fortunate among us have recognized the hazards of living with an overabundance of food. Parentheses obesity and diabetes and having started to change, have started to change our diets. But most of us do not yet understand that news is to the mind what sugar is to the body. News is easy to digest. The media feeds us small bites of trivial matter, tidbits that don't really concern our lives and don't require thinking. That's why we experience almost no saturation. Unlike reading a book or long magazine articles, which require thinking, we can swallow limitless quantities of news flashes, which are bright colored candies for the mind. Today we have reached the same point in relation to information that we faced 20 years ago in regard to food. We're beginning to recognize how toxic news can be. And I agree with all of this, but everybody can't stop paying attention or else, you know, somebody has to pay attention, right? Somebody's got to be like, you just can't put it on cruise control. So I don't know if I 100% agree with this. I just know I'm not going to be the Gandhi that leads us out of this, you know? So as long as I know that, I mean, I will just be content to listen to Howard in the morning and then I listen to baseball at night. That's what the I do. I don't pretend to know things. All right?

[Sponsor/Ad Voice 1]

News misleads.

[Sponsor/Ad Voice 2]

Oh, my God.

[Julian Casablancas]

What?

[Sponsor/Ad Voice 2]

Take the following event. A car drives over a bridge and the bridge collapses. What does the news media focus on? The car, the person in the car. Where he came from, where he planned to go, how he was he transitioning, How. They didn't say that. How he experienced a crash. Parentheses, if he survived. But that is all irrelevant. What's relevant? The structural stability of the bridge. That's the underlying risk that has been lurking and could lurk in other bridges. Oh, they get to that after they go painstakingly through the horror of the end of that man's life or life altering injuries. And then they get to his family and they're all crying and all of that shit. You know, as much as a moron as I am, I always turn that shit off. You know, like out here, we had a hostage situation at a Trader Joe's, and the people I was with were just watching it and watching and watching. It's like, like, just out of curiosity, what are you gonna do if this guy just runs out and starts shooting people in the fucking head? Like, you want to watch this? These people in the store are fucking terrified. This is the worst fucking moment of their life. All right? The news eventually is gonna tell you what happened, and they're gonna give you an edited version so you don't have to see people's brains getting blown out, you know, and why. You know, they literally had, like, the employees were crying and all that shit. And then I found on the end, you know, some poor woman died. Was. It was fucking Terrible. And one I'm just gonna sit at home watching it for hours, ordering food, you know, going online. Are they tweeting from there or what's going on? Then all these fucking assholes on YouTube. Not YouTube, on Twitter. All these social media people are gonna go on and say the obvious. Oh my God, this is so sad.

[Bill Burr]

I'm like freaking out right now.

[Sponsor/Ad Voice 2]

I love that. Oh is that what you're doing?

[Sponsor/Ad Voice 1]

Are you freaking out in the safety of your own home?

[Sponsor/Ad Voice 2]

Why don't you make this about yourself, you fuck. Ah, Jesus. Social media I bet is people. There's a lot of shit that says that's depressing too. But you know what? Podcasts actually feed the soul. I believe I'm part of the problem. News misleads. Bill Burr misleads. Anyways, plowing ahead. We are not rational enough to be exposed to the press. See this guy saying we're all dumb? Watching an airplane crash on television is going to change your attitude toward that risk regardless of its real probability. If you think you can compensate with the strength of your own inner contemplation, you are wrong. I think the subtext of this is you dumb fuck. Bankers and economists who have powerful incentives to compensate for news borne hazards have shown that they cannot. The only solution, cut yourself off from the news consumption entirely. News is irrelevant. Out of the approximately 10,000 news stories you have read in the last 12 months, name one that because you consumed it, allowed you to make a better decision about a serious matter affecting your life, your career and your business. Well, I would say anything about the environment. Environment, you know. Jesus guys, chip off the old block here.

[Sponsor/Ad Voice 1]

Paint with a broad brush.

[Sponsor/Ad Voice 2]

The point is, the consumption of news is irrelevant to you. But people find it very difficult to recognize what's relevant. It's much easier to recognize what's new. All right, I think we get the point here. News has no explanatory power. News items are bubbles popping on the surface of a deeper world. Oh, that's deep. That sounds like a fucking progressive rock band. Like a line in the song in 7:4 I imagine will accumulate facts that help you understand the world. Sadly no. The relationship is inverted. The important stories are non stories. I would agree with that slow powerful movement that develop below journalists radar but have a transforming effect. The more news factoids you digest, the less of the big picture you will understand. Maybe that's why everybody's yelling at each other. News is toxic to your body. I'll just read the headlines here. News increases cognitive errors. News inhibits thinking. News works Like a drug. News wastes time, news makes us passive. Well, that worked with me. News kills creativity. Well, there you go.

[Sponsor/Ad Voice 1]

Jesus Christ.

[Sponsor/Ad Voice 2]

That's pretty fucking negative, huh? Let's get to some positive shit. I got a fucking note from possible visit to Dov Ronvik, Croatia, my friend. While you're checking where the hell I'm contacting you from, let me jump you with invitation. Invitation to my country slash city. I run brewery and we are in debt at the moment, so don't expect this is money interesting invitation. This is opportunity for you to check out crazy side of Bocklands. Getting hours and hours of future material. By the way. You're funny. Well, thank you sir. That read like a fucking ransom note from Eastern Europe. And I would be lying to you if I wasn't a little afraid to go to your bar. I need a couple of those in there. You know, while you're checking where oh you got the hell I'm contacting you from. Let me jump in with an invitation. Let me jump in with invitation. You fucking talk like Ivan Drago. Listen buddy, I'm gonna try to get as close to Dubrovnik as I possibly can. I wish your bar was making more money and I'd love to go in there and help you out with your fucking monthly rent by boozing my face off, but I don't. I could tell you I don't think I'm gonna make it there. Eastern European tour. Jesus Christ. This is all I'm getting. This is all East Eastern Europe where? Eastern European tour. Dear Billy Baldberger. Oh come on. I was feeling good about myself. I'm a huge fan of your comedy and F is for family is my favorite thing on Netflix. Well, thank you very much. Therefore I am very excited that you are thinking of visiting Prague, Czech Republic. Comedy scene in Prague is pretty much non existence. Oh Jesus. So I'm sure you would kill with your knock knock jokes. If you are interested, pint of beer costs between one to two dollars and it's delicious. You also have to try traditional alcohol drink, Slovovis. It's made from distilled plums and has about 51% of alcohol. Okay, I'm in. You could visit the Czech Hockey hall of Fame or you could go to see Yarmouth Jarga play some second division hockey. Oh, that would be cool as shit. I'm probably only going to be there for a night. I think this is going to be a bunch of one nighters here. A while back you mentioned you saw the movie Anthropoid about a Czechoslovakian Paratroopers assassinating high ranking German Nazi official. I love that movie. The movie ends with the final shootout in the church. You can actually go to the crips of the church and see the bullet holes from the incident of. I'm fucking doing that. I hope you decide to come and share your American wisdom with us savages. Thanks. And go make love to your lovely wife. Oh, thank you. God bless you. Go fuck your wife, you fucking redheaded prick. Eastern European Tory.

[Bill Burr]

Hey, Bill.

[Sponsor/Ad Voice 2]

I just wanted to say that I know a lot of people waiting for you to come to Poland. Oh, great. I guess your agents already figured out that Warsaw seems the most logical place to do do your show as it's the biggest city in the capital and it's located somewhat in the middle of the country. So most of the people from outside Warsaw, like me, will be able to come and see you live. I'm 100% sure you'll sell out all of the tickets. Plus Warsaw is a great place to visit because of its history and of course all the cool stuff going on there. I guess people from the States think you'll see white bears and trams and horse drawn carts in the street, but that's not the case. I didn't think that. I just thought I'd see four people trying to screw in a light bulb.

[Bill Burr]

Ah, I'm sorry.

[Sponsor/Ad Voice 2]

Just like everywhere else, we've got hipsters and Starbucks, moderately fat, lazy fucks in shopping malls and generally people wasting their lives on social media. Yeah, yeah, that's. That's a reoccurring thing. Anyway, my friends and I can't wait for your show. Thanks and go fuck yourself. Yeah, everybody's staring at their phones is a big thing. And I do that all the time. Persistent cold. You may have walking pneumonia. Go see a doctor when you get back to la. I need a doctor. Somebody give me a doctor. Soft tires and Nazi symbolism. I love this guy. This guy's just, he's just doing the whole gamut, isn't he running the gamut? Hey, let's look that up. Let's see what the fuck that means. How did that expression come about? All right. Run the gamut. Origin, meaning the entire range. The word gamut traces its origins to the Middle Ages in a system for. For designating musical notes around the turn of the second millennium. The fuck you mean the second millennium? I thought this was the second millennium. 2000, right? Isn't a millennium a thousand years? A medieval monk developed a system. Jesus, Bill. You know, just gets to the point. Like I try to Be informed. Like the second. You're going to bring up a fucking monk. Around the turn of the second millennium, Guido of Arezzo, a medieval monk, developed a system of psalmization that is designating musical notes by syllable names. While today we are familiar with the sung syllables do, re, mi, fa, so, la, ti, do. Back in Guido's time, He died in 1050. They had a Hextonic scale, sixth note, and he used the symbol and la. And la. The ut represented the lowest note. Utre, bi, fa, sol, ed, la. Okay, okay. That's why I play drums and tell jokes. Utter. Ut represents the lowest tone recognized in music theory at that time. The second G below middle C. What the fuck? I don't give a fuck about. What is the gamut, the range of notes? Okay? Building on this denotation, detonation, I don't know. Gamut eventually came to mean the whole musical scale. Oh, so you're running the whole fucking scale? Okay. Jesus Christ. All right. Hey, Bill. Soft tires and Nazi symbolism, by the way. Hey, Bill, I think I can answer both of your questions from Thursday's podcast. I'm in law school and a motorsport fanatic. So the questions. These questions are right in my wheelhouse. All right, what if you're in law school, so you know about Nazi symbolism? Do you prosecute hate crimes? I hope. Number one, why the soft tires in MotoGP?

[Sponsor/Ad Voice 1]

Principally? You're right.

[Sponsor/Ad Voice 2]

I knew it. The tires degrade towards the end of the race, so it makes sense to use harder ones to get consistent performance. Especially now that slightly sliding the bike is the quickest way around the track. How the fuck you learn how to do that is crazy. I mean, I've seen people do that in cars, you know, drifting, but, you know, you're on four wheels. Like, the level of balance and skill, the ability to become one with the machine, it's a work of art. In Germany, Lorenzo used a soft front tire, while Marquez took the hard one. For the rears, Lorenzo was on a medium tire and Marquez on the soft. Marquez is a special driver and tends to get a better feeling for the bike with a hard tire. The sidewalls simply don't wobble around too much. Lorenzo's bet was to use the superior pace of the soft tire, more grip, to build enough of an advantage to win. This is fascinating. Marquez, meanwhile, expected a tight field and wanted to nurse his tires while keeping with the pack, thus having enough tire left for the last lap and a final attack for a win. Which is exactly what he did. Simply put, the drivers have to Decide between an early pace advantage and therefore superior track position with soft tires and the consistency of the hards. Add changing conditions, different riding styles and bikes to that, and you'll see how hard it is to pick up a winning package.

[Julian Casablancas]

Well,

[Sponsor/Ad Voice 2]

my thing is, is there a way for him to know what Marc Marquez is going to be running, considering he's the best rider out there, as far as I can tell. No disrespect to Jorge Lorenzo, I know he's won it a couple times, but the championship, I believe he's won two of them. No matter what tire you're going to have, you're not going to open up this, like, insurmountable lead. So I just think eventually that soft tire is gonna fucking wear out. And then Marquez is behind, he's gonna overtake you, and then, then he can ride hard for the first time in the race. He beat the shit out of those tires. But by the time they get fucked up, the race is gonna be over before that happens. I don't know, but thank you for that. That is. That is fascinating because everybody goes. You watch races. Just a bunch of people driving around, drive around the track, driving around a circle. Stock car racing. The only thing you need to know. Go, turn left. Yeah. That's all you need to know. Banned Nazi symbolism. I'm enrolled in one of the best school. I love how people are too dumb to understand racing and then they sit there and they shit on it. I'm enrolled in one of the best law schools in Germany.

[Sponsor/Ad Voice 1]

Over here.

[Sponsor/Ad Voice 2]

Displaying Nazi symbolism is punishable with up to five years in prison. In the context of the whole legal system, it's quite an unusual article of the law, usually. This is amazing. So because you're a lawyer in Germany, usually the political background of an opinion is irrelevant to the criminal repercussions. To avoid discrimination, usually objective factors are used instead of political ones. It was discussed whether banning and punishing Nazi sympathetic displays is constitutional. It is an infringement on the freedom of speech. Yes, it is. And it also lets you know who the Nazis are. The one argument that won in court was the historic significance in Germany, the Constitution. By the way, I'm loving all these. These letters from around the world. This is fucking incredible. If I could just get some women to write in. I know I'm off putting ladies, but, you know, that kind of gives you an opportunity to put me in my place, which is one of my favorite things. You hear. When my wife's on here, she shits all over me. I love it. Giggling like a Schoolgirl. The Constitution was put into Place in 1949 while most cities still look like downtown Baghdad circa 2004, and when the ovens of Auschwitz had just cooled down. Jesus. The content of the Constitution is an answer to all the shit that went down between 1933 and 1945. Yeah, because most of those lunatics died or were put to death. And then some more rational people were like, hey, let's try to prevent that happening again. Look at the city, huh?

[Sponsor/Ad Voice 1]

This is amazing.

[Sponsor/Ad Voice 2]

You can see all the way to the other city because there's no cities left anyways. So the Constitution is the answer to. That's really. I know you don't see a lot about Germany other than 1933 to 1945. Or they show shit about, you know, World War I, but they don't show about the steps that they took afterwards to ensure that this wasn't going to happen again. I'm sure there's a nice book on it that I could sit down and read if I wasn't such a moron. Anyways, denying support of that regime is part of the Constitution's inherent character. I agree with that. The problem, it doesn't change anything. It's symbolism. We can now point at our laws and tell other countries. See, we learned. And what do the Neo Nazis do? They use fucking code which is not forbidden, such as 88. I guess that means Heil Hitler. Or HKN KRZ shirts, which in German is recognized as saying hakenkreuz, which equals swastika. I swear to God. Those fuckers parody the Run DMC logo with HKN Space KRZ shirts. I had no idea. Wow, thanks for the podcast. They keep me laughing during exams. Looking forward to your German European tour, you freckled cunt. You know, that's gotta be the most fascinating shit I've heard about Germany since. You know, the same shit that they show a zillion times on. On the History Channel. I mean, obviously you got to show that, so, you know, hopefully that never happens again. But they should probably shine a light on this. To know that that is going down. I don't know. It's hard, man. I. I really look like the Nazis. They're kind of like a fucking. I think I used to do a bit on this. They're kind of like a band that had a bunch of hits like fucking 40 years ago, and now they're coming back and it's just, you know, there's no original members. They don't have the magic anymore.

[Sponsor/Ad Voice 1]

It's just.

[Sponsor/Ad Voice 2]

It's Over. It's over. It's.

[Bill Burr]

It's a.

[Sponsor/Ad Voice 2]

You know, it's like a. You know, some. Some bands, it's just their name becomes toxic after a while, you know? Although sometimes they're so bad that they come back and people love them again. I don't know. It's probably a bad analogy, but that's pretty frightening that that shit's going down, that people still, like, you know. I don't know. I've never really been to a Holocaust museum. It's just. I just don't think I could handle it, you know, knowing that people are capable of that level of fucking evil. Just literally separating, you know, that shit in slavery, the shit at the border, to separate parents from their children, to sit there and fucking do that. I don't give anybody a pass, even the fucking kid down there. Like, this is my job. Quit your fucking job. I'm not fucking doing this. Like, when do you. When is that kid's screaming, crying voice gonna leave your fucking head for the rest of your life? Oh, my God. Especially not having a kid and knowing, like, how much they need. Like, my daughter just came in. She was, like, whining and all that. For whatever reason, she wanted to hug me, you know, I don't know why, but they need just to take that away from a kid. It just. It's fucking, you know, over some. I don't know. There's got. You know, there's got to be another way, right? Anyways, you sent my brother to the hospital? The fuck are you talking about? Can I legally read this without getting. All right. Hey, Billy.

[Sponsor/Ad Voice 1]

Bro.

[Sponsor/Ad Voice 2]

Killer. My brother and I went to your show early. Your early show in Minneapolis a couple weeks ago, and as we were leaving, he was complaining about his back and shoulder hurting. Being the douche I am, I assumed he was whining about the uncomfortable seats. Over the next few days, he started coughing and hearing a rattle in his chest. Yeah, okay, well, go to the doctor. He went to the doc. And as a precaution, it turns out at some point during your set, his right lung made, like, the Falcons in Super bowl lung. Well, that's not from laughing. That was like, you know, you went there. Yeah, it's probably everything he did up until that point, he spent. I would love to take credit for any joke being funny enough to make somebody's lung collapse, but I think you're. Yeah, you're looking at the ass end of the problem there, buddy. He spent the next six days in the hospital and had to get a tube stuck through his Rib cage like Carl Weathers death scene in Predator. Then they hooked that shit up to a Dustbuster, sucked out the air that was outside of his lung, and sewed the hole shut. That's fascinating. He finally got out of the hospital and is doing fine. But I just thought you'd appreciate knowing you're at the level where your comedy caused someone's organ to explode like the goddamn Death Star. Keep this up and you'll be well on your way to fixing the overpopulation problem. Anyways, can't wait for you to get come back to Minnesota so you can finish the job and get his left lung. Hope all is well with the family. Thanks. Glad you guys came out, and I'm glad your brother's doing all right. All right, I think that's the. I think that's the podcast here for this week. All right. I think there was a Formula One race today. I'm taping this Sunday night. I got to sit down and watch that, but I got so much shit to do. Is that. It is. Do I have anything? Oh, yeah. This weekend, I'm gonna be with Nate Craig in Houston. All right. Houston, Texas, in July as a bald, redheaded male. And then I'm gonna be in Dallas. I don't know how many shows I'm fucking doing here. Let me check it out here. All right, so here's the deal. Thursday, I got a show at Revention Music center in Texas. Friday, I have a show at Revention Music center in Houston, Texas. There's still tickets to Thursday. Friday, sold out. And then I got two shows in the pavilion up in Dallas at the Toyota Music Factory. Also, I added a show right before the Rough and Rowdy in Rochester, New York, right outside of Buffalo, which I haven't been to in a zillion years. Rochester, former home of the Rochester Royals that then became the Cincinnati Royals. Then the Kansas City Omaha Kings, then the Kansas City Kings, and then the Sacramento Kings. Hey, Bill, why were they Kansas City and Omaha Kings? Well, because they used to split their home games between both those cities, seeing which town gave a fuck more. Kansas City didn't have any college football. Omaha did. Well, I guess it's Lincoln, Nebraska, right? Where is the University of Nebraska? I only went to a fucking game out there. I always forget where it's at. Then they became the Sacramento Kings. I'm into that shit. I'm into past history. You want to hear a couple of cool ones? All right, here's a good one. Kansas City Scouts, NHL team moved to Colorado, became the Colorado Rockies, and then moved to New Jersey, became the New Jersey Devils. Okay, I can't do all your homework for you, but I can do some of it. All right, the Original Washington Senators, 1901-1960, they left and became the Minnesota Twins, and then the Senators came back briefly in Washington almost like they retained the name, like the Cleveland Browns. There was a second incarnation of the fucking Washington Senators, and they also failed. And then they moved to Texas and became the Texas Rangers. All right, you want to hear some more? What else do I got? All right, the New York Yankees.

[Bill Burr]

Who were they?

[Sponsor/Ad Voice 2]

Originally? The Baltimore Orioles, 1901 to 1902. Then they became the New York Highlanders, 1903 to 1912. Then they became the New York Yankees, 1913 to present. Now the Baltimore Orioles. I knew they were the old St. Louis Browns, but I didn't realize they were the first. They were the Milwaukee brewers in 1901. Then they were the St. Louis Browns, 1902 to 1953, and from 1954 till now, they became the Orioles. All right, that's it. Okay, I don't want to talk to you guys anymore about this. What, the Oakland A's? Is that what you were asking about? Well, they were the Philadelphia Athletics from 1901 to 1954, then the Kansas City Athletics to 1955 to 1967, and then they became the Oakland A's, 1968 to 1986, and then the Oakland Athletics, 1987 to present. I don't know what that means. As far as I'm concerned, they've been the Oakland A's or the athletics since 68. But that's what this fucking thing said to me, you know. You know, I learned about all of this shit. A lot of teams have passed through Kansas City, started there, are gone through there, and then that. They just fucking, you know, Kansas City Scouts, Kansas City Kings, Kansas City Athletics. They've had a lot of people come and go, you know, and there's only one solution that I can think of. There's a lot of cunts in Kansas City. All right, go fuck yourselves. I'll talk to you on Thursday. Summer smells like salt in the air and warm sand. Restore your sense of place with Pura's

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