Leg Day, NBA Playoffs, Drumming | Thursday Afternoon Monday Morning Podcast 5-15-25

Summary

Monday Morning Podcast Summary: "Leg Day, NBA Playoffs, Drumming | Thursday Afternoon Monday Morning Podcast 5-15-25"

Release Date: May 15, 2025
Host: Bill Burr
Guest: Paul Virzi
Podcast: All Things Comedy

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1. Opening Remarks and Personal Updates ([00:00] - [01:01])

The podcast kicks off with Bill Burr and Paul Virzi exchanging greetings. Bill shares his recent accomplishments, including finishing the second draft of his play's script. He humorously reflects on the future free time he now has and muses about life’s uncertainties, referencing a Jim Croce song to illustrate his feelings of solitude and contemplation.

Notable Quote:

• Bill Burr ([00:25]): "I don't have to work during the day and then do the play at night. I can actually have my days free."

2. Gym Rants and Leg Day Observations ([01:23] - [04:39])

Bill transitions into his experiences at the gym, particularly focusing on leg day. He contrasts straight men who often neglect leg workouts with LGBTQ+ gym-goers who consistently train their legs. Bill humorously criticizes a fellow gym member’s inefficient leg machine usage, emphasizing the importance of proper form and dedication.

Notable Quotes:

• Bill Burr ([01:40]): "Those gay guys in the gym. They do not skip leg day."
• Bill Burr ([02:33]): "We all know that, right? 1, 2, 3, 4. You don't try to put as much weight as you can in."

3. NBA Playoffs and Knicks-Celtics Rivalry ([04:39] - [16:47])

A significant portion of the podcast revolves around the NBA Playoffs, with a particular focus on the rivalry between the New York Knicks and the Boston Celtics. Bill expresses his frustration with Knicks fans who abruptly emerge during playoff success, calling them "whack a mole fans." He discusses recent game outcomes, including Jason Tatum's Achilles injury and the Celtics’ performance, speculating on future game results and the impact on fan behavior.

Notable Quotes:

• Bill Burr ([04:39]): "Jason Tatum blew out his Achilles, which is brutal."
• Bill Burr ([16:47]): "Now look the pressure. Hey, who knows? Anything can happen. Hey, that's why they play the games."

4. Comedy Gig at a Church and Show Experiences ([16:47] - [27:31])

Bill recounts a recent stand-up gig at a church coinciding with a crucial Knicks game. Despite selling tickets, attendance was low as many attendees were preoccupied with the basketball games. Bill shares his comfort in performing for smaller, less packed audiences, reducing performance pressure and allowing him to enjoy the experience more freely.

Notable Quotes:

• Bill Burr ([17:19]): "I could be in a place that holds a couple thousand people, but if I see empty seats, I feel like, all right, no pressure."

5. Drumming Techniques and Personal Development ([27:31] - [91:19])

Bill delves into his drumming practice, discussing specific exercises he's adopted to improve his balance and technique. He mentions advice from fellow drummer Dave Elitch and shares detailed descriptions of his routines aimed at enhancing his hi-hat work and overall command over the drum kit. Bill draws parallels between developing musical skills and learning to speak, highlighting the importance of gradual improvement and flow in performance.

Notable Quotes:

• Bill Burr ([03:57]): "There are these one exercises that have been really helping my drumming."
• Bill Burr ([24:30]): "With that, then I can tell you who I'm not going to hear from. All those whack a mole fans."

6. Rants on Pop Culture and Art ([08:29] - [10:05])

Bill shifts focus to critique Andy Warhol and his contributions to the art world, expressing confusion and dissatisfaction with Warhol's work, specifically the "soup cans." He humorously compares Warhol’s influence to other cultural phenomena, doubting the lasting impact of his art and dismissing his understanding of the art scene.

Notable Quotes:

• Bill Burr ([08:29]): "If anybody can ever explain to me what that guy, like, I swear to God, if the Emperor's New Clothes wasn't already written, I would be like, it has to be about this guy to suit can."

7. Balancing Personal Life and Public Persona ([50:06] - [91:19])

In the latter sections, Bill shares personal anecdotes about his family life, including parenting challenges and interactions with his ex-girlfriend. He provides humorous takes on modern parenting advice, societal expectations, and the struggles of balancing personal responsibilities with his career. Bill candidly discusses his approach to handling breakups and maintaining his composure in stressful social situations.

Notable Quotes:

• Bill Burr ([70:21]): "What's a stair well, that's a bull without his balls, buddy."
• Bill Burr ([84:42]): "I had to go to my parents."

8. Closing Remarks and Final Thoughts ([91:18] - [93:49])

Bill wraps up the podcast by reflecting on recent events, including Mother's Day celebrations and interactions with his family. He offers a mix of humorous insights and heartfelt sentiments about embracing his role as a parent and stewarding his personal life amidst the chaos of his professional endeavors.

Notable Quotes:

• Bill Burr ([91:19]): "Happy Mother's Day to all the mothers out there who work with the family back East."
• Bill Burr ([93:49]): "I have no idea how the Predators, we're in the finals, the Western Conference finals with the Ducks and then the Ottawa Senators. What the fuck is going on with."

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Conclusion

In this episode, Bill Burr delivers his signature blend of humor and candidness, navigating through topics ranging from personal achievements and fitness routines to intense sports rivalries and the complexities of modern life. His interactions with Paul Virzi add a dynamic layer of conversational banter, making the podcast both entertaining and relatable for listeners.

Overall Themes:

• Personal Growth: Bill's journey in balancing his career and personal life.
• Sports Fandom: Deep dives into NBA playoffs dynamics and fan behaviors.
• Fitness Philosophy: Emphasis on proper workout techniques and personal health.
• Pop Culture Critique: Humorous takes on art and societal trends.
• Parenting and Relationships: Navigating family dynamics and personal relationships with humor and honesty.

Key Takeaway:
Bill Burr combines his comedic prowess with genuine reflections on life’s challenges, offering listeners an engaging and multifaceted listening experience that resonates on both humorous and personal levels.

Transcript

[Paul Virzi]

Hey, what's going on?

[Bill Burr]

It's Bill Burr, and it's time for the Thursday afternoon, just before Friday Monday.

[Paul Virzi]

Morning podcast, and I'm just checking in on you. Ooh, how's it going? How are you? All right. Getting through another. Another week here all by myself. I'm not gonna lie to you.

[Bill Burr]

I am. Other than when I'm doing the play, which I'm loving and, you know, all of that stuff. But now I finished the second draft of this script, which is. That was the dream. I'll be like, okay, so I don't have to work during the day and then do the play at night. I can actually have my days free. And now I literally. I don't know what to do with myself. Just fucking. I'm just, you know, I just keep thinking of that Jim Croce song. I've seen so many faces, I've run so many races. Something like, and they were not the nice guy.

[Paul Virzi]

And it's been so long since I have felt fine. That's the reason that I gotta get outta here. You ever hear that song? I'm so alone don't you know that I gotta get outta here? Cause New York's not my home. Wimpy ba ba ba doo, right?

[Bill Burr]

Ah, Jesus Christ.

[Paul Virzi]

You could go to a movie, you.

[Bill Burr]

Could go walk in the park.

[Paul Virzi]

You could jump off a bridge. There's all kinds of things to do here.

[Bill Burr]

Anyway, I went to the big gay gym.

[Paul Virzi]

Bgg.

[Bill Burr]

I went to the big gay gym today. Did legs.

[Paul Virzi]

I'm going to tell you something about.

[Bill Burr]

Those gay guys in the gym. They do not skip leg day. That's a straight guy thing. All of us walking around with our big, you know, trying to get a Wahlberg test torso. And then we walk around with the pretzel rod legs. Not these gay dudes. They get the squats in. So I went over there today, and it was actually not a lot of people in there, but there's always just somebody on. Like, the new thing at the gym is just the person on their phone in between sets. This guy was on, what, a leg machine I wanted to use in between sets. You know, what do you call the front of your quads? That machine, right? He's sitting there with his legs crossed, you know, like he's on a park bench.

[Paul Virzi]

You want to be like, dude, people.

[Bill Burr]

Need to use that machine. Can you? Can you? He was driving me nuts. Because then when he was doing his reps, he was going, does. Instead of going 1, 2, and then going down for the negative 1, 2. 3, 4. We all know that, right? 1, 2, 1, 2, 3, 4. You don't try to put as much weight as you can in. We're gay, we're gay, we're gay. And your fucking ass is coming out of the seat, stupid. Not only are you fucking taking way more time than you need to be. You're not even getting.

[Paul Virzi]

You're not even. You're. You're not even doing it right.

[Bill Burr]

That's right. That's who I am. I'm that old guy at the gym judging people's form. I actually have the nerve, at almost 57 years of age, someone who blew out both his shoulders with poor form, to now judge other people's form, who, when I was their age, I had bad form. And I'm deliberately, deliberately blocking that out because as an older person, knowing things is something that you need to. To tell younger people so you don't have to think about your mortality. Anyways, so I did legs and eggs today.

[Paul Virzi]

I don't know.

[Bill Burr]

The way I'm built. No matter how much I do legs, they. They. They just don't. I got to take that. Wile E. Coyote took. And one of my favorite cartoons when he got the fucking Earl Campbell legs and he was running around, burning up the streets, literally, leaving fire on the streets. I don't know why, but I used to always root for him. I never liked the Roadrunner, you know, I don't know. Say what you want about the Coyote. Like, that dude, that dude could take a bump. Always got up. Always got up, always sold it. You know, played a great heel. He just sold it.

[Paul Virzi]

We knew he was going to lose.

[Bill Burr]

And we still showed up every time rooting for him. Anyways, the Boston Celtics. Jesus Christ. Jason Tatum blew out his Achilles, which is brutal. So I thought the Knicks were going to wrap it up, up in Boston, and I don't know why they didn't. From what I heard, I was working, so I missed the whole game, but I heard it was the Celtics kind of cruised. That's what it said on the. The little sports ticker tape down there at the bottom ticker, whatever you call it. But I feel like they got it. There's no. They don't. Obviously don't want to go back to Boston. So I figured they close it out down here and then what's going to happen? And it's already happened when they went up three games to one. All of these New York Knick fans that I have not heard from.

[Paul Virzi]

Since.

[Bill Burr]

Latrell Spreewell are all coming out of the fucking woodwork. It's just like, you know, I. And I know this isn't all New York fans and I know that there's Boston's fans like that. But like those, Those sports fans that go into hibernation, you know, when their team loses or whatever, and then they. They only come out when the sun's out, like fucking. You know, that Groundhog Day shit. Like those sports fans, I don't show any mercy with them, but I respect the rest.

[Paul Virzi]

Like Versi.

[Bill Burr]

Versi's a great Knicks fan. Like if the Knicks win it, I'm going to be so happy for him. And I actually like the Knicks. But those whack a mole fans that pop up. Mike, there was one. I hadn't heard from this guy since game. He's a big baseball guy. I had not heard from the guy since game three of 2004. He just disappeared. And then I remember in the early 2000 and teens, we blew a series. We blew a lead or something like that. I think we were in first place. We had Bobby Valentine. That's right, we. We had this September collapse. And out of nowhere, out of nowhere, he called me up and trashed me. I mean, I hadn't heard from this guy in like seven years. And then the next year we won it. I didn't hear. I haven't heard from him since. Those kinds of sports fans, like th. Those are the ones that like, I don't know, I gotta keep them at bay because then it makes me actually give a start rooting for the Knicks to lose. And I don't want them to lose because I love Versy. I just have to focus on that and not these morons that like call up. Plus, you know, I don't want to get into it with a Knicks fan. I mean, it's. It. It was. I started with this one guy who came out of nowhere. It was. It was too easy. It was just too easy. I'm like, dude, you got like 10 teams. You guys should be having a championship parade for somebody every two years. But somehow you go, oh, for fucking 10 every year. And I still have to listen to you.

[Paul Virzi]

What are you talking about?

[Bill Burr]

I don't understand what it is. Anyway, I don't get it. And he goes, okay, we might not.

[Paul Virzi]

Win, but we're the strongest. It's like you're not strong. Woody Allen made it into your. Andy Warhol made it in New York painting soup cans.

[Bill Burr]

Oh my God, don't get me fucking started with that guy. If anybody can Ever explain to me what that guy, like, I swear to God, if the Emperor's New clothes wasn't already written, I would be like, it has to be about this guy to suit can. I'm commenting on capitalism. Whatever the fuck he was doing, I.

[Paul Virzi]

Mean, the people that hung out with him. Did you ever see a bigger group of people that you would have no interest in fucking hanging out with? It was just a bunch of hipster. They were like the original hipsters all.

[Bill Burr]

Just fucking hanging out, you know, being aloof, pretending they were interesting when they weren't. They're oversized, itchy fucking sweaters hanging off their fucking shoulder. I guess they predicted Flashdance.

[Paul Virzi]

Maybe. Maybe that was their contribution to art.

[Bill Burr]

Yeah, yeah, that guy. Yeah, that's my opinion. That dude stinks. He just stinks.

[Paul Virzi]

You make up. You make a movie about a fucking drug addict and then you kick her out of your circle and then she dies. Is that. Is that.

[Bill Burr]

I mean, I don't know. Maybe I should read up on the guy. You know what? This is probably me. I probably don't know enough about the art world to understand his contribution by painting a fucking soup can. In the future, everyone will be famous for 15 minutes.

[Paul Virzi]

And he was right. He wasn't. Everyone isn't famous.

[Bill Burr]

It never happened. Everyone is not famous for 15 fucking minutes. I don't walk down the street going.

[Paul Virzi]

Oh my God, oh my God. Oh, that guy. It's a bunch of fucking people.

[Bill Burr]

I don't know.

[Paul Virzi]

Andy Warhol once said.

[Bill Burr]

Anyway, I don't get it. I don't get Andy Warhol any more than I understand the bacon, egg and cheese sandwich. I get it. It fills you up or whatever. But like, I don't know.

[Paul Virzi]

I.

[Bill Burr]

It's. Every city has like a mediocre sandwich that everyone freaks out about because they have child sense memory. And that's. That includes Boston. I'm not saying it like the level. The level that people in Boston hold. Dunkin Donuts, coffee, like, oh my donkeys. Donkeys has the best. They don't.

[Paul Virzi]

Okay.

[Bill Burr]

If you want to say for a.

[Paul Virzi]

Fast food chain.

[Bill Burr]

Okay, that planted their flag that we make donuts and they barely make donuts anymore and they just completely abandoned that and forgot who they were and got into like sandwiches and shit. They don't have the best coffee. Oh, Billy.

[Paul Virzi]

Hot takes today.

[Bill Burr]

How. Look at you.

[Paul Virzi]

Did you wake up and feel edgy?

[Bill Burr]

Anyway, yeah, I had a good time with my buddy though. He goes, new Yorkers are the strongest. I go, I'd never found this city difficult as Far as to get ahead in. I just didn't. Maybe you do. Maybe that's why you feel the need to wear timberlands 12 months out of the year.

[Paul Virzi]

Never heard back from him.

[Bill Burr]

Anyway, having said that, I actually. I love the Knicks and I also love the Rangers. I don't know why. I love both of those teams. I love an original 16 that isn't the Montreal Canadiens. I love the Leafs, the fucking Rangers, the Blackhawks, obviously the Bruins. And the Red Wings. I like, I loved them in the 90s, but somehow once.

[Paul Virzi]

Once they.

[Bill Burr]

They left that old arena, something, maybe that was just sad to me. I love that you had to fucking lean back. No, I still love the Red Wings. They've had a lot of great players that I loved. Shanahan Yzerman, all those Russian players that I can't remember any of their names. Sergey Fedorov. Yeah, there's a lot of teams. Yeah, I love the teams. The fans, on the other hand, you know, you know what it really should be, it's just fans like this, fans like that. The. The whack a mole fans, you know, that all pop up. That happens with success, right? All of a sudden the place gets filled up and then you can't get a ticket. You know, it's like during the Brady Runs, like, where the fuck were all you guys back when it was Schaefer Stadium, huh?

[Paul Virzi]

Where were you?

[Bill Burr]

Sullivan Stadium?

[Paul Virzi]

Where were you?

[Bill Burr]

Where were you during those 2 and 14 seasons? Were you sitting in fucking section 318, hammered from a tailgate, sitting there going, why did I buy seasons tickets?

[Paul Virzi]

I remember had seasons, one year we went 5 and 11, and I was trying to get some of my money back.

[Bill Burr]

I forget who we were playing, but I bet against the Patriots because I was so pissed. I'm like this, if I'm going to watch them lose every week, I'm going to at least win some money. And then they showed up and won. I might have been against the Bills.

[Paul Virzi]

It was before the.

[Bill Burr]

It was right before the Bills became the Bills with Jim Kelly and they had Thurman Thomas. They had all the pieces to dominate the afc that now there's. There's a fucking group of New York teams that I have empathy for. Like, I always look at that Scott Nor, he had plenty of fucking leg. It was a 47, 48 yarder. And the story of that game is not. Is not that he missed that field goal, it's that Bill Belichick, the Giants defensive coordinator, shut down the run and.

[Paul Virzi]

Gun, where was all that offense the.

[Bill Burr]

Run and gun offense, it comes down.

[Paul Virzi]

To a field goal against a team with no quarterback.

[Bill Burr]

That's not supposed to happen.

[Paul Virzi]

But you know what?

[Bill Burr]

He was a convenient, he's a convenient excuse. The real story of that game is the genius of Bill par. Bill Belichick, I think, anyway, that's, that's my take. And then also 1999, the Buffalo Sabres, that guy was in the crease. They called that all year. And the most important, most important goal of the year, they. Fuck them. I don't know what it is. I think they low key, don't like Buffalo because they don't consider it like one of the bigger cities, you know what I mean? Like I would say for a city of that size to have two professional sports teams is pretty amazing. I mean even the NBA left. The NBA left Rochester and they left Buffalo, right? It's like the Buffalo Bisons and it was a Rochester Royals. And they were like, yeah, you know this, we're out of here. We're on our way to bigger and better things. And they couldn't sell out any place. I think they went to Cincinnati.

[Paul Virzi]

Right?

[Bill Burr]

Cincinnati Royals. And then it became the Kansas City Kings and then the Sacramento Kings. Am I nuts? I don't know. Anyway, but I know it's going to be a great day when the Knicks finally win a championship. And I'm not going to let a couple of Nick fans ruin that for me. I'm going to be happy for Versi. So that's it. And I'm also proud of the Celtics winning that game, not rolling over, making them come back down to New York. And now look the pressure. Hey, who knows? Anything can happen. Hey, that's why they play the games. If we win and force a game seven, I can tell you who I'm not going to hear from. All those whack A mole fans.

[Paul Virzi]

Pop their head out when the sun's out.

[Bill Burr]

Hunkered down during the losses. Anyway, plowing ahead here, what else did I want to talk about? Oh my God. I did this gig at this church, another church. And it was the night the Knicks went up three games to one. And we sold all the tickets, but only like a third of the people showed up because everyone was out, I don't know, either celebrating or just figured that the show had already started because we had, we held it for like another 15 minutes but like nobody showed up. But it ended up being, ended up being a lot of fun because I don't know, whenever I had this weird thing that if I go into a Room, no matter what size it is, if I see empty seats, I don't feel any pressure. You know, like I could be in a place that holds a couple thousand people, but if I see empty seats, I feel like, all right, no pressure. Didn't sell out, right? But I could be in like a hundred seater and if it's packed, then I'm like, oh, there, there's expectations. So anyway, I was in this place, this old church. It was amazing. It looked like everything in there was at least a hundred years old. And the green room where we were at, I mean, it must have had like 20 foot ceilings where we were in. And for whatever reason, it had like these cabinets way up at the top. So I was joking with the other comedians, I'm like, what is in those cabinets? And when was the last time anybody looked? I mean, there's probably a flyer in there From World War II talking about, you know, to donate your tin cans and all of that shit for the war effort.

[Paul Virzi]

Anyway, so.

[Bill Burr]

I had a really good leg day. They got this one machine that I never used before. The, it's like that donkey kick machine. Like the first time I did it, I was like, I, I, I, it was like the first time I tried to do a pull up. It's like, did God not give me the muscle that I need to do this? And I don't know, I gotta, I gotta, I'm moving up the stack, but I'm still like, you know, just like £30 for each leg. Like I, I haven't been able to, I, I went up to £40 and I haven't done it like a week. And I had to go back down to 30, which is a great thing about being an old guy. When you work out, you don't do that ego thing. Like last time I did 40, you know, you just do one, you're like, ah, that doesn't feel good. That feels like I'm gonna end up in rehab. That gonna go back, back it down to 30 pounds, do more reps, not have my leg fall off. But I've been doing those. And here's some, here's a leg exercise. That's two exercises that have been really helping my drumming. You know, Dave Elitch told me, you know, to build this up because, you know, I was always having problems doing those bottom triplet things, keeping the hi hat going. And it's because I had no balance and I had to like lean back if both legs were coming up the same time. And I've been working on, so as hip flexors and my lower back so I can stay planted and be on my sit bones. And then all of a sudden it's like you're, you're. It's like your command over the kit. I was like falling away from it. So there's these one exercises that I've been doing, right? You take like a water bottle, okay, you sit down on the floor and like you have like, you feed it like 10 and 2. Then you have the water bottle on the outside of one leg and you sit up straight. And without leaning back as much as you can, is you take one leg and you pick it up and over the water bottle and then set it down and then come back over the other side and that's one rep. And the first time I did those things, the next day my hip flexors were like on fire. Like I had, I had never used those muscles in my life. And now I can do like sets of 10 and I have like this dressing room mirror and I'm noticing I'm sitting up straight way better. I'm still leaned back a little bit, but it's really giving me way more balance and power when I play, when I try to do those things. And it's been, it's been amazing. And then also I had a breakthrough because I've been trying to get into this, this thing that I've been, I've been learning from somebody else about like flow mode, just playing what you hear and going around the kit and all of that. So it's really frustrating if you don't have like a game plan. But through watching different teachers and stuff and seeing these licks on Instagram, I came up with like this thing that I do where I kind of have like, rather than just I used to play the licks four times in the same order. Each lick, right? Four different 16th note triplet licks, right? And then I would just gradually bring the BPM up until one of them was falling apart and then I would back it down. So I got him up to speed and then. But then my muscle memory was to play each, each of them four times and then go to the next one in the same order. So it was still robotic, I was still between my ears. So what I've been doing now is sort of just playing like, you know, 16th note triplets on the snare, accenting on different things, throwing the kick in or whatever. And then I sort of have my home base lick when I go into like trying to play the lick. So I'll play the home bass lick and then the first one of the other, like, three, four, or five licks that I'm thinking of. When I think of it, I just play it and then maybe another one after that. And then whenever I have, like, a brain fart, I just go back to that home lick, and I just keep doing that over and over and over again. And now all of a sudden, I. I've been able to, like, kind of, like, flow a little bit with the limited vocabulary I have. It's sort of like a Victor Wooten thing that I learned. This is obviously one of the best bass players in the world where he talks about learning how to speak, you know, on like, a. A bass guitar and playing notes and everything. But the philosophy of it I've been able to apply to, like, drums that, like, okay, so, like, I'm basically a baby and I'm learning how to say mama dada right now. So don't judge yourself that you can't go up and give, like, some dissertation on, you know, you're just learning to speak. So with that, then I give myself permission to up. And then all of a sudden, you know, I'm not saying I'm crushing, but I will say this, that, you know, the next time I go to Guitar center, you know, and I see a dad with the fanny pack, you know, I'm gonna see if I can get him to look over his shoulder like, who's. Who's that dad? You know, I thought I was the coolest dad in the drum section. You know, maybe. Maybe this guy's coming for my title because I've always been the worst drummer every time I've gone into fucking Guitar center, whatever these are. A man can have his dreams. All right, let's. Let's. Let's do some. Some reads here, I guess. Have one here. Oh, Fast Growing Trees. Did you know Fast Growing Trees is the biggest online nursery in the United States with thousands of different plants and over 2 million happy customers.

[Paul Virzi]

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[Bill Burr]

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[Paul Virzi]

You know, it's fucking legal, man. Whatever plants you're interested in.

[Bill Burr]

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[Bill Burr]

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[Bill Burr]

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[Paul Virzi]

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[Paul Virzi]

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[Bill Burr]

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[Paul Virzi]

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[Bill Burr]

Then I got to read the same thing 15 times over again.

[Paul Virzi]

All right, one more. Squarespace. This podcast is sponsored and brought to you by Squarespace. Squarespace is the all in one website platform designed to help you stand out and succeed online. Whether you're just starting out or scaling your business. Squarespace gives you everything you need to claim your domain, showcase your offerings with professional website, grow your brand and get paid all in one place. Squarespace gives you everything you need to offer services and get paid all in one place. I just said that. From consultations to events and experiences, showcase your offerings with a customizable website designed to attract clients and grow your business. Squarespace makes it easy to showcase your expertise and engage clients with video content on your website. Upload and organize your videos, create stunning video libraries and even monetize your content by adding a paywall. Perfect for online courses, exclusive tutorials and premium workshops. Make smarter business decisions with Squarespace's intuitive built in analytic tools. Review website traffic, learn where to focus engagement and track revenue from bookings, invoices or product sales, all from one place. Head to squarespace.comb for a free trial and when you're ready to launch, use offer code burr B U r r to save 10 off your first purchase of a website or domain. That's squarespace.com burr for a free trial and when you're ready to launch, use offer code burr to save 10 off your first purchase of a website or domain. All right, there you go. Well, that is the podcast.

[Bill Burr]

My feelings about game six. I think the Knicks, I think the Knicks win that. I think they had a little bit of a letdown or Celtic pride took over game five. I think game six, the Garden will, Madison Square Garden will be rocking. And I think, yeah, I think, I think the Knicks will take that one. However, for some reason they don't. Oh my God. Oh my God. If the Celtics ever came back down 31 without Jason Tatum against the Knicks, I'm trying to think how I would handle that with my good friend Paul Versi just out of respect. I, I wouldn't call him until he called me.

[Paul Virzi]

Until he was ready to talk. You have no fucking idea. You have. No, I.

[Bill Burr]

Maybe you do if you guys listen to his podcast, which I hope you do. That guy like I've never seen a guy and he. The passion he has for the Knicks and Paul Verze is there every year, win or lose. That guy is a true fan to the bone.

[Paul Virzi]

Paul Versi is, is a fan.

[Bill Burr]

So I will be happy for him and. All right, so that is it. That is the podcast. Enjoy the music picked out by the amazing Andrew Themelis and and then we have a bonus episode after of the Thursday afternoon just before Friday Monday morning podcast. Thank you to everybody who continues to come out to Glenn Gary, Glenn Ross. They just put something out how Glenn Gary, Glenn Ross has already recouped. So everybody that put their money up on the play and bet on us got their money back. So all of you guys that came out to the show has made all of the people in the play look good. So thank you so much for that. All right, that's it. Have a great weekend you c and I'll see you on Monday.

[Paul Virzi]

It's so much Better when everyone is in. Are you in? So much better where everyone is in. Are you? Damn you. Are you? Are you? Hey, what's going on? It's Bill Burr. It's time for the Monday morning podcast for Monday, May 15, 2017. Halfway through the month of May. Oh, Jesus Christ. Do you know Bobby Orr scored that overtime goal on Mother's Day to win the Stanley Cup? Back then, you know, I think you only had to win eight. It was like fucking 12 teams. He had the original six and the expansion six. The original six really weren't the original six. They were just the six left over after fucking the stock market crash or some shit. They were the only guys left. Or after World War I, I can't remember. Didn't like the Lusitania sink and then that like half the players on the fucking Montreal Maroons were on it. I don't know. What is this Stump the Swami over here? You know, Nia's been, been. She's been recording the sports Jeopardy. AKA Buffalo Wild Wings Jeopardy. I'm telling you, even the sports fan, it's not easy, but, oh, do I seem like a smarty when I'm watching that show? To the point near goes, if they ever do any sort of, you know, comedian sports Jeopardy Thing where you can give the money to a charity, I love that. It's like, I'm gonna go on TV onto a game show. One of the hardest game shows out there, Jeopardy. Granted, it's all going to be about sports, but they do a lot of shit of like, you know, you know, who's the first free agent to fucking get into a fight with Al Davis? I'm saying I don't fucking know, right? Name the last three owners of the Seattle Seahawks. Like, they get, they take it to that level, you know what I mean? But I love how, you know, Neil's like, oh, you should go on then just, you know, give the money to a charity. Fuck the charity. I do enough benefits as a comedian. I can't go on TV and try to win some money for me, you know, hit a couple of categories. Sitting there going, whoo. You know, I'm going to go on TV and expose how limited my fucking. I don't. My world is. I don't know. I'm gonna go on TV and make an ass of myself and then give it to some dirty face kid afterwards. I'm gonna lose. And then what? Some kid who grew up in a fucking chimney is gonna sit there crying because I went there and basically did the Babe Ruth thing. Hey, kid, I'll go out there and hit a home run for you today. Except I'll do it with my mind, man. I'm gonna go out there and I'm gonna fucking lose. Because they're gonna be like, yeah, what brand of baseball glove did Goose Gossage use when he was still on the fucking Oakland A's? Rawlings. Oh, no, I'm sorry. The correct answer was a Wilson douchebag family with a chance to steal. I actually did. You know, if I can remember the category. My problem with those shows is sometimes, like, I don't understand the. You know, they'll say, like, get Carter. And it takes like me, like fucking three in a row to understand, like, oh, these are. Everybody's got the last name Carter. I got the hardest one, too. Or maybe I'm just the oldest. They brought up the fucking. The dude on Michigan who then I think went to the USFL like this. Anthony Carter, number one. I first started watching college football. He was the man out there with the Wolverines, right? One of the great fight songs of all time, the Michigan Wolverines. I'm with you. I know how it goes. Hail to the victors Valiant. And I was singing the Notre Dame song. Oh, Jesus's team, right? Oh, Jesus. They're going for a two point conversion there. Jesus, what do you got to say? Well, you know, I mean, if they make it, they make it. I mean, I love everybody. Get out of this locker room, you bearded hippie. That's what happened if Jesus came back, Jesus ever went to the locker room and Knute Rockne was in there, right? Oh, five foot, nothing of him considered average height. Way back in the day, before they put the horse tranquilizers, the fucking horse meat that they fed to the horses, that they then fed to the cows, right, that are then in my burger. Maybe that's why I have such a fucking disposition. I eat a lot of red meat. This is how much red meat I eat. I don't consider hamburger red meat. To me, red meat is. I had a steak. I have a burger, man. It's. It's. Hey, it's not, it's not right after I'm done cooking it.

[Bill Burr]

You know, actually, it's not even true.

[Paul Virzi]

I like, I like all of it medium rare. And what I've been told by E. Coli freaks where they're like, look, you can have a steak medium rare. That's a lot less of a risk because that's just one cow. You know, you're rolling the dice. It's like you bang one Hooker without wearing a glove. Oh, Jesus, Bill. Right? And then hamburger, though. It's like you banged Vietnam. I don't know why I picked Vietnam. Some reason I went to Full Metal Jacket. Hey, baby, you got go femme Vietnam. It's like you banged a country of that. That's what hamburger is. Because it's just a bunch of cows all mulched together, right? You have a steak, it's like, you just one cow. That's what I'm trying to. Or a steer, I should say. What's a stair well, that's a bull without his balls, buddy. Right? To take off its horns. I don't know what it is. Anyways, and if you have hamburger that's like, you know. You know, you're just Freddie Mercury running around the whole free world. Isn't that basically it? I mean, I'm not. You know, I'm not. I don't know my way around the kitchen enough to know if that analogy worked or not. But I will say that I. Let's just get back to the original point, okay? What was the original point? Yeah, I don't consider hamburger red meat. Or was it that I'm not giving some fucking kid who lives in a chimney, I don't know why a chimney, you know. You know what? Seeing broke children is always sad unless they're white. There's just something fucking funny. But, yeah, you know, I think it's just a relief as a white person that the guilt goes away, you know? No, you know, anytime you see somebody from another race broke, you know, white people fucking pushed them out. They put a Walmart down, right? They put one of those derricks in there. They started sucking all the fucking shit out of it. You know, I wonder if people around the world, when they watch the beginning of the Beverly Hillbillies, start crying. You know, when they just see the white man, even like to. First they're laughing like, oh, my God, it's toothless. Broke white people. Hilarious. And even they discover oil and they get to keep it. So they loaded up the truck and moved to Beverly Hills. That is. I wonder if they cry when the children cry, you know, Nobody guessed the movie I was talking about. I kept references. We got problems with the family back east. Um, anyways, let's. Speaking of the children cry. That's from White Line, everybody. When the children Cry was actually a hit. That's how fucking off the rails music went at one point. Little child, try your crying eyes. I was like, on the top 10. I remember watching it. I didn't give a Fuck about that song. But I was like that lead guitarist out of all these guys trying to be Eddie Van Halen. I'm not saying this guy was. Are trying to do the shit that Eddie did. That fucking guy in white line, he came the closest. You know, out of all the white bands, you know, the White Lions, the fucking. Who else was it? It was White lion, who's great White. It was White Snake. It was. Hey there, Whitey. It was a little known all white funk band because that's what people used to yell when they want to say, I can't remember how it goes.

[Bill Burr]

I don't know.

[Paul Virzi]

Anyway, speaking of children cry my condolences to all the fans of the Washington Capitals. And you know what happens when you hit the fucking wall for the third time? When you win the president's trophy, you know, under two different presidents, okay, When Obama brings you to and Donald Trump comes in with his tie hanging all the way down. His tie would still touch the ground even if he was wearing skates. He comes walking into your locker room and he gives you that fucking trophy. Yeah. You're on your second goddamn president. You've left the ugliest uniforms in the history of the fucking game of hockey. Possibly definitely up there, those blue ones with that gold eagle, you know, it just looks like they put a stamp. Like the. Like the post office had a limited stamp thing, you know, Then all those weird smelly people, you know, people who don't bathe, collect stamps, you know, And I'm not saying that, you know, with all this stuff, like, what do you identify with a man or a woman? You know, being a man. I don't. I'm a man, but I don't identify. I just don't identify. When you imagine the fucking emptiness of that every day, waking up shaving, going, what the fuck is this? I can't relate to this fucking beard on my face, man. You know, when are my tits gonna come in? I just. I can't imagine that. But whatever. There's other people that can't, you know, they don't identify with other human beings. Forget about. They don't identify with their own gender. There's another group of people that we all need to care about and wear a certain color on a certain day or maybe a ribbon for. And these are people that can't identify with other people. They just can't identify with human beings in general. And these people collect stamps. You know, they just sit in that room, they're not bothering anybody. Taking that big giant fucking book off that shelf you know, blowing the dust off it because they finally got the Washington capital's fucking horrific jersey. From the mid to early 2000s, whenever they had that, it was that awful period. That's right. In the NHL, they added too many fucking teams and everybody changed their uniforms.

[Bill Burr]

I should put it all on the.

[Paul Virzi]

Capitals, Washington, D.C. fucking horrific. Thank God they went back to the red, white and blue, you know, I mean, you are there in D.C. for fuck sakes. You know, if anybody showed the color of the flag, it should be you guys. You know, the Buffalo Sabers. That fucking IHL horseshit they had, you know, what do they put a sheep on the front? Didn't even look like a bull anymore. It was terrible. Fucking terrible. Props to them, by the way, when they finally admitted that they made a fucking mistake. Was such a horrible period. They had that strike that they lost a whole season of the NHL. All right? They added a bunch of fucking teams. Too many goddamn teams. They had the Atlanta Thrashers, they had the fucking Florida Marlins, right? That's right. They played hockey first before they sucked so bad. They were like, you know what? Let's just fucking play baseball. No, the Florida Panthers, the Lightning, the Coyotes. I think the North Stars moved down to become the Stars. At least they kept the kind of. They're all right because they kept the same fucking uniforms. Then of course, they knocked down that stadium in Minnesota and they put up the Mall of America there. That's so sad that you know the place where Dino Cicero smashed his stick over that fucking guy's head. You can now sit there standing there eating frozen yogurt without a care in the world, you know? Or did it. Was that a road game? Anyways, the. Am I talking about here? That's right. So then you had all these new teams in the NHL, and then on top of that, all these teams that have been established all changed their uniforms. So you come back after the strike and you're just watching like, dude, is this the Olympics? Actually, that's not true because they started doing that in the 90s. Because when the Sabers. The Sabers got in 1999, you know, back when you could even have a shoelace. Tough like shoe leather that mozzarella. Huh? Who knows that one? There's another obscure tough like shoe leather that Mozzarella. Mozzarella, whatever the. He said mozzarella. Huh? Who knows that one? If you're religious, you might know that. That's a hint. The title has something religious, a religious figure in it. And it's not Jesus Christ Superstar. That's the last hint I'm gonna give you.

[Bill Burr]

Yeah, the Sabers got in 1999.

[Paul Virzi]

Was it Brett Hull? Was it Danny Mashburn? I don't know who the fuck it was, Joe. Barry Carroll. Who had their foot in the fucking crease. I can't remember. But the whole year they're calling it until the biggest goal of the year, the one that decides to Stanley cup classic NHL. Yeah. That new rule that's been fucking everybody all year round. Yeah. Forget it. We've decided to change the rule in overtime in the clinching game of the Stanley cup playoffs. That's how we do it. That's right. That's how we do it. We take breaks every 20 minutes and we have rules and all of a sudden the rules go away. So anyways, my condolences to the city, to the District of Columbia capital. Fans, man. They fucking did it to you again, you know? And you keep showing up because you're real fans. And you know what's going to suck now? They're going to dismantle the entire fucking team. Hopefully they keep Ovechkin. You guys are out of your minds.

[Bill Burr]

If you get rid of him, how.

[Paul Virzi]

They'Re going to blame it all on him. Did you see that picture of his leg all bruised up? He looked like somebody tried to get information out of him and he wouldn't give it up, you know? Fucking veins sticking out. Oh, my daughter's crying in there. Oh, Jesus Christ. I feel like a bad dad. But Nia's in there, okay? Nia's handling it. Don't worry. Can you hear that? Yeah. This is the time of night. Like, she's so, like, wants to know everything that's going on that she does. She won't nap enough during the day. And by the way, fuck all your suggestions. I don't want to hear a million suggestions. Put one of her shirts in the bath and that. We've tried everything, okay? It's just, you know, it's a phase she's going through. And I am done listening to fucking people who are not wearing lab coats. If you don't have a lab coat on and you don't have a fucking little degree hanging on a wall behind you. Just keep your fucking ideas to yourself, okay? The level of shit that parents talk. Every fucking one of them has a goddamn cure for every fucking thing that happens. Every one of glided through being a parent or figured it all out and for some stupid reason they didn't cash in on it and write a book. Why would you do that when you can just show up to somebody's house and vomit all your ideas on them. If any of your people's ideas work, you should put it in a book and go on the Oprah channel. You guys can sit there holding each other's hands, and she tells you how amazing you are instead of coming over here, boring me with it. And then I go and try it, you know, actually, you know what? The shirt one worked. The shirt one did work. I will say that. I shouldn't have fucking said that, because a relative suggested to me, and it was fucking great. That's just the first thing that popped in my head. I was actually thinking about somebody else that annoyed the shit out of me with something else. Trying to feed my kids solid food three months into her life. Oh, no, it's fine.

[Bill Burr]

It's fine.

[Paul Virzi]

Fine. Oh, God. This is. This is the danger of riffing because you end up on the person you're not upset with anyways, plowing ahead. Where am I? Oh, yeah, condolences. You know, So I would. I would definitely keep Ovechkin. You got to build around the guy, build around the guy again and, you know, get a coach with a neck and, you know. You know, maybe he can see if something was offsides or not, and he could. He could throw the flag or whatever you do to challenge it instead of sitting there with his spine fused. Somebody made the joke, said that every coach in the NHL looks like a Bond villain. And it is true. I got to go with that. You know what I mean? Although I would say that Chloe. Julian. Claude. Julian looks like that. That dude in the Swamp Thing that when he got turned into a monster, became that little guy running around such a weird fucking movie where I don't even remember the name of the movie. The whole thing about the movie was there was this chick, and she had these giant fucking tits, and you were just waiting for her to go into the lake so they'd show a little side boob. Now, this is the early 80s. That was a big fucking thing when you were, like, 12 years old. All right, so the deal with the Swamp Thing, which is where I got that thing, I had problems with the family back east.

[Bill Burr]

That's.

[Paul Virzi]

That's where it's from. It's from the Swamp Thing. I'm obviously with you. What am I talking about? Oh, yeah, the Swamp Thing, Right. So how that worked. He. He was. He was. I forget what had. The guy was walking near a swamp. You know, the usual thing, and then a telephone pole falls into the fucking swamp. He gets Electrocuted. And then he becomes the Swamp Thing, and he's just strong as. And there's some bad guy. So they figure out how he became the Swamp Thing. So then the bad guy wants. He wants a swamp thing of him, an army of swamp things. So, whatever, he can take over all the swamps. I don't. I don't remember, right? So this little weaselly dude, he does the same thing, and when he turns into a monster, he's this little ass weaselly monster. So then the bad guy goes, well, how come he didn't turn into what you are? And it says, well, you know, when you get electrocuted in the swamp and you turn into a swamp thing, it just enhances your personality, all right? So if you're a fucking stud like me who, even though I look like a swamp thing, I can still bang that big titted whore over there in the lake. If you're a little weaselly cunt, you just become an ugly weaselly cunt with, like, mud and leaves for skin. There you go, people. And I. You know, I can't think of a bet. Sorry, just blew out your ears there. I can't think of a better time to read a little bit of advertising. What do you say there? What do you say there? What do we got here? Oh, wait, I got to finish. So. You know, the only thing I can say to D.C. fans is when you finally fucking win it, it makes it all the sweeter just going through all of this shit, all right? I watched the bruins from about 79, 80, and I had to wait till, like, 2011.

[Bill Burr]

So what's that?

[Paul Virzi]

89, 99, 2009. I watched them for about 33 years, all right? And I know you guys. Shut up. Shut up, all right? You got all those monuments. You can fucking walk around, can't you? Cheer up, dude. Look at the width. The Wizards forced the game. 7. I'll talk about that a little later after I read a couple of fucking advertisements here, all right? Oh, Billy, Billy, Billy, Billy. Oh, Billy, Billy. I got one more here. Air. Oh, no, I don't. That was the last one. Oh, this is this guy giving me about airline bumping. Oh, he went off on me. He put me in his place when he sat down at his goddamn keyboard. I'll get to this in a minute. I will get to this in a minute. I like this guy who gives me about the airline bumping. You know why? Because there's very few people out there that defend the man, all right? Anybody can attack the man every once in a While it takes a fucking, I don't know, the Internet version of that Clint Eastwood spaghetti western guy coming to town with his little fucking. Mike Tyson's colorful Mike Tyson towel over his fucking head, right? That's how broke Mike Tyson was when he was a boy first started out. He was like, I want to dress like Clint Eastwood. They said, all right, we'll get you his underwear, his boots, and we'll get that little fucking. That little shawl he puts over. But, you know, we can't afford to put any color on it, you know? And that's the kind of thing that leads you to bite somebody's ear off. I'm just saying. I'm not trying to say that what he did was right, but I'm just saying. I understand. Hey, how you doing up there in Montreal, everybody? Montreal, Canada. How's things going up there? You enjoying the fucking off season? God knows you're gonna have enough time to come and see me in June. This is what I'm loving about the Predators, all right? Although they seem like they're losing right now. I'm taping the game, but I'll. I'll myself over here and I'll just look it up right now. Oh, look at that, the little time trial thing. Are you gonna load for me? I think the ducks were up 5 to 2 or 5 to 3. How weird are these playoffs this year, you know? Anyways, now, you know, I always give you guys about the curse of Patrick wa. You humiliated that guy. I mean, what you guys did to him. When you watch like. Like horror movies, you know what I mean? When somebody like, you know, thinks they're prom queen and then you dump a bunch of blood on them or they think that they're going to go miss, make a wish in a well, and then their mother pushes them to the bottom of it, you know what I mean? They think they're gonna, you know, that. That all of that, all of that, right? Somebody drowns in a lake. You guys did the hockey version of that to Patrick Waugh. You know, he thought you guys loved him. That's who was. It was like, Kerry, he came out there, you know, has one fucking bad game. You won't pull him. You leave him in there. You fucking do a mock cheer. When this guy who redefined the position, first ballot hall of Famer, continuing the tradition of winning fucking Stanley Cups, you know, and he won it during the real era when there was like 30 fucking teams, 28 teams, not all those Cups the Canadians and Maple Leafs won back in the day. When it wasn't even the state was like a fucking shot glass. You ever see him skating around with the thing looks like a fucking baton, you know, before it became that giant goddamn thing. Anyways, they booed him out of town. So ever since then, there's been the curse of Patrick Waugh. And I think the next fucking part, the next chapter of the curse, okay, is P.K. subone. You know, you know what? They, they ran him out of fucking. He ran that guy out of town. Now, this wasn't your fans. I think it was the organization. I also think it, it's because I'm a Bruins fan, and I just love giving you guys shit because what am I going to do? Talk about championships? You guys are going to destroy me. So this is this little fucking little thorn I can put in the. Underneath your fucking elephant foot here, all right? But PK was a fucking great dude, and he gave too much money to that children's hospital, and he started bigger than the Canadians, and the Canadians couldn't handle it. Like when Kobe couldn't handle Shaq. And he said, look, either he goes or I go. And they said, okay, Kobe. And they sent Shaq to Miami, and then he won a fucking title there, right? And then they had to bring Phil Jackson back and another 50,000 fucking free agents, as they always fucking do. You know, I, I, you know, I just give Kobe shit for the first, the first three rings. Get the fuck out of here. The last two, I'll give you those. You know, even with the officiating in that second time you played the Celtics, hey, let's call fucking 38 fouls on one team and 17 on the other. That's. That makes for a good game seven, doesn't it? Not saying that we would have won, but it would have been nice to see the Lakers beat the Celtics that year. Just saying. Anyways, plowing ahead. So now the predators are up 1 to nothing against the fucking Emilio Estevez's, the Sheens, whatever the you call them down there. The Mighty. The Mighty Sheens. The Anaheim Estebases, The Mighty Ducks. I don't like the Ducks. I don't like Ducks. Don't give a. I just don't like them, okay? I don't like the Honda center, okay? I, I, you go there, there's no vibe. There's no vibe in Anaheim. It's just a, it's just. I don't know what it is. It's just a strange goddamn place. Anaheim is weird. This whole LA area is weird. Like, people weren't supposed to live here. You know what I mean? They weren't supposed to live here. It's a desert. We steal water. The whole. The whole thing's weird, but at least, you know, there's. There's cool to look at, you know? Except when you go to Anaheim, I don't know what you look at, all right? And you go down there, there's no vibe. Maybe it's better. I went to a Ducks game in the late 90s. They were still early, right? They were still the Mighty Ducks. They still had Donald Duck with the broken bill in the front. Isn't that what they had for their logo? I don't know. So anyways, what if. What if. What if PK leads the Nashville Predators to a Stanley cup championship this year? I'm just throwing that out there for everybody up there on St. Catherine street, you know, with your cute little pocket squares that matches the color of your socks, you know, what the fuck are you gonna do then? Nashville? That banjo playing washboard down by the river. You ever been to Nashville? I mean, half the structures there still have dirt floors. It's unfucking. It's. It's ridiculous. You know, like when they went this day, when they went to Nashville this year, and they were like, you know, who you voting for? For. For president, they're like, I'll tell you one thing, I ain't voting for Lincoln. He wants to free the slaves. That's how backward Nashville is, you know, I know there's all this out there saying, it's this growing city, you know, and they're trying to get people to move there. The reason why they're trying to do that is because so many of the structures still have dirt floors. Okay? Now if he can go down there, all right, and, and, and lead them to the Stanley Cup. The big boy Stanley cup, not that little shot glass that you and. You and Toronto won like 15 times each. You know, I'll give the Canadians their last 10 cups, but I, I look at them like, I can't even say they're equal to Detroit, because Detroit was back then when it was a shot glass, you know, sort of a fancy shot glass. Anyways, I'm just with you. I. I have no idea how. The Predators, we're in the finals, the Western Conference finals with the Ducks and then the Ottawa Senators. What the fuck is going on with. When is the glass slipper gonna turn back into a fucking pumpkin? I'm telling you, if Ottawa goes any deeper into the playoffs, they're actually gonna sell out a home game this Is unbelievable. Did you see the first game of the Rangers? They had 2,000 of the Rangers series, they had 2,000 empty seats. That's because they stopped playing the Bruins, you know what I mean? And the Bruins were just close enough to Ottawa that. That shuttle flight wasn't. It wasn't too expensive, you know? Then they played the Rangers, and God knows Rangers fans, all those fucking Manhattan cunts, they got the money to fly up to Ottawa. But they're New Yorkers, dude. Why would I. They got boar's head. They got a slice of cheese. Why would I travel? Look over there. It's the Empire State Building. Oh, that's what New Yorkers are. They. They're. They're fucking. They're like country people. You don't have to be lonely fucking skanks in the fucking five boroughs. I am in an extra country mood and I am just trashing people that I have no right to trash, okay? My team is not in the playoffs, okay? My team has not won as many championships as the fucking Canadians. My city doesn't have as many skyscrapers as New York City. Hey, don't fuck with my shitty. You just fuck with the wrong city. I had problems with the family back east. If you touch my family, I'll fucking kill you. Those lines will never get old in Hollywood, you know? It's another fucking hacky thing. I'm so sick of every other fucking show doing the speed dating scene. How many times can you do that? And one lunatic after. I mean, it's. It's not that bad. Jesus Christ. People showing up with like half an ax in their side of their head. People living with their mother. The person who's actually gay pretending to be straight. The site. I mean, Eddie Murphy did this. And coming to America in 1989. Jesus Christ, why don't you just have somebody come in and slip on a banana peel and then get a pie in their face and then do the dating thing. Hey, Bill, if you're so talented, why don't you come up with something new? Because I'm limited, all right? I never said I fucking. I would reinvent something, all right? Unfortunately, I have to take a little bit of break and I'm on a nice little roll here. I'm on a nice little roll here, but I have a. I got something I got to take care of, which is why I'm doing this at 9:00 clock on a Sunday, you know? But why do I need to tell you guys? Because this is only gonna be a fucking second of your life, all right? Hang on. Hang on a moment. Okay, I'm back. I'm back and I am as illiterate as ever. All right, you want to listen to somebody just fucking tearing me a new one here? So I was talking about fucking United Airlines and Delta and them just yanking people off of flights and, like, what happened to customer service and all of this type of. You know, I felt guilty flying United, the way they just dragged that Chinese dude off the plane or the dude going to China, just assuming he was Chinese, Asian, you can give me that, right? Who knows? Who knows? They hit him so fucking hard. I don't know. You know? Anyways, airline bumping. He said. He says, hey, you uninformed cunt. And I'll tell you, nothing makes the reader want to read more when you just start off with the insults. He said Congress and the passengers Bill of Rights have led to more passengers getting bumped due to more cancellations. And do you think he gives any examples? No, he just moves on to his next point. Also, if people showed up for the flights they booked, the airlines wouldn't be overbooked. Many passengers book multiple flights. How about if you buy. So you're just assuming that the guys that they're yanking off the flights did those people. I don't do that. I buy one fucking ticket and I show up. That's how I do it. So you're telling me that that Chinese dude or that other fucking person on Delta, you're telling me that. That. That those are those people? So they said, hey, you booked like 20 flights. You only showed up for one. Yeah, get out of that. Fuck. I said, get out of there. You're telling me that's what happened? Or are you telling me that because other people do that, because the guilty people did it, that United and Delta is now just going to grab some random innocent person and throw them off the fucking flight? I heard the reason why they did it was because they had another plane that they had to get a flight crew to, and they just fucking yanked the guy off. That has nothing to do with that other shit, as far as I know. But I hate, what am I? I'm just an uninformed cunt? Evidently. You, who just like me, just make statements with no fucking evidence behind it. All right, Plowing ahead, he goes, how about if I buy a ticket for a flight and miss it for whatever reason, you lose it, question mark? Is that how you run your shows? Was that a point? How about if I buy a ticket for a flight and miss it for whatever reason, comma, you lose It. Oh, how about if you. Hey, I don't have a problem with that. I don't have a fucking problem with that at all. I'm on the same page. I hate when I show up on time for the security line and somebody else shows up super late and then they get rewarded and get breezed through the fucking line like they're in that T. Like they're part of the TSA party. They're the pre check people. Dude, you're bringing up all this other shit that has nothing to do with a fucking. Just somebody who bought a ticket and sits on the plane. I drive a car. Other people steal cars. Should I be yanked out of my fucking car because other people are stealing cars? This makes no sense. I might be an uninformed cunt, but you are a pompous, arrogant, uninformed cunt. I could say that because I'm in show business and, you know, we're all down to earth. All right, let me read some more of your air quote points, all right? Is that how. Is that how you run your shows? No, I don't run my shows like that. You know, this is my fucking. This is how I run my fucking show. I don't have anybody kicked out ever. He can be the biggest cunt ever. I kicked the first fucking person out in 10 years because he was so fucking drunk. I'm a hell of a guy. I don't give a fuck. I'm a great guy when it comes to that shit. How dare you lump me in with United Airlines and Delta. You, you, you, you hateful so and so. All right, let me, Let me at least finish this point here. Is that how you run your shows? Or if someone buys a ticket to your show and misses it due to traffic leaving the house late, et cetera, do you honor their ticket to the next show? I will tell you this. I've had plenty of people fucking reach out to me, and I have hooked plenty of people up with tickets. Okay? How about that? Has everyone reached out to me? Has I seen every fucking email? No, but I hook people up. I've run into fucking people walking down the street, driving by in a car, going, oh, fuck, I didn't know you. Can I go to the show? I'm like, it's all sold out. I go, fuck it. What's your name? I've done that countless times. So there you go, sir. I don't know what you're talking about. So the equivalent to that is I fucking pull up, stand outside the gates of the airport, go, hey, you Guys flying to Minneapolis? Yes, sir, we are. Could I. Can I buy a ticket? Sorry, it's all sold out. Oh, bummer. Don't worry about it. Don't worry, we'll get you on the plane. And then they yank someone. They yank somebody off. I don't know. Why'd they pick the Asian guy? Huh? Why couldn't they pick some fucking white dude in a suit? You know why? You know why. All right. Leaving the house late. Do they? Okay, well, that is what the airlines do. If you miss a flight, they put you on another one, so off you non reading pigment impaired cunt. That's not what they do. That's what they do sometimes. Other times they yank you off a plane. Other times they tell you to go fuck yourself. Other times they say, hey, you have 200,000 miles. You can't use them when you want to use them. And if you don't use them by next Wednesday, we're taking them all back. Other times they say, hey, we're just charging extra because it's post 9 11. We lost all this money. We're just charging for food. But eventually we'll fucking stop overcharging. We'll stop charging for this shit for all the money that we lost in 9 11, which, you know, we're now going to pass on to our fucking customers. So they take the hit. When was fucking 9 11? I know I'm an uninformed cunt. As far as my calculation, we're coming up on the 16th anniversary this September. You're still paying for Pringles, aren't you, sir? I'm all for defending the fucking man when it's. When it's for. I mean, I don't know what you. You just fucking. You just brought up a bunch of, I guess, behavior by frequent flyer people. So then evidently I should get yanked off a plane at some point because other people overbooking. Shit. You know what? You're the kind of person that probably likes that. That what they call it the trap ride or the trick car, whatever that fucking show is. You probably like that show. You probably think that that's a good fucking show, right? That show. I can't even believe that fucking show is on television for the. It's on true tv. Who should change their name to fucking horrific tv? They fucking. They drive down to like the fucking projects and they leave a car with the door open, keys in it running, and then they wait for someone to fucking steal it. And then they act like they got a bad guy off the street. And I was Reading comments underneath the. You know, I love that they're going to go out of their way to go down there and try to get someone to go to jail. Why don't you go down there and try to help somebody out? I saw one guy, he actually stole the fucking car. He knew it was the trap car or whatever. He's driving with the door open because he knows that they just lock. They fucking hit the lock so you can't get out. And he's saying he knows it's a trap car. He's waving in the camera and all that. They asked me if he knows a trap car, why did you do it? He said, I don't know. Maybe I just wanted to get on tv. And then he laughed. And everybody's like, that guy's crazy. I want to party with that guy. That guy's a dope.

[Bill Burr]

Or anything.

[Paul Virzi]

It was. It was. To me, it was depressing. Like, that's the level of options this guy has in his life that he would do something like that. And somebody else brought up a great point, okay, like, why don't they take that car around the suburbs to the whites cul de sacs? Why don't they do that? And everybody's like, oh, it's simple. Because white kids don't steal cars. The they don't. They absolutely do. And I'll tell you, there's a point in my life I would have done that. I absolutely would have done that just for the stupid. Just to have the story so I could talk about it loudly around chicks that I liked because I didn't know any other way to approach them. If they ever did that in a suburb and a bunch of white kids started going to jail over that, that would not there be entrapment. It wouldn't be held up in court and the fucking show would be shut down. All I'm saying, okay, you, sir, you probably like that type of shit. You probably like that show and you think that's a good show. And hey, let's, let's, you know, rather than giving this guy an opportunity, you know, they could just as easily. Couldn't true TV have a fucking show where they go down there and they try to give somebody a fucking job, you know, I don't know. Anyways, plowing ahead, making your own baby food. A Billy Burp had my first kid a couple years ago. Congratulations. A friend suggested we make our own baby food because it's easier to get them to transition to real and healthy foods. We tried it and it was fun. Friends suggest that we make our own baby food because it's easier to get them to transition. Okay. All right. We couldn't. There's another fucking guy. No lab coat, no degree. We couldn't do it 100% of the time, but it was totally worth it. My kid isn't that picky of an eater, and I like to think that days of pulverizing fruits, vegetables, and oats into tasty meals. Oh, it's because of that. I'm sure you can afford the good stuff for the little lady, but just thought I'd throw it out there. Thanks. And go yourself. Yeah. I don't know, dude. I don't know what to tell you. I'll cross that road when I get. Everybody's always like, you know, got all these goddamn suggestions. There was somebody, you know, everybody talking about, like, private schools versus public schools. It's like these kids, they don't even get to be kids anymore. They should be out. You know, this whole thing that, you know, from day one, like, you just got to be like, you've seen what it does. Look, in these countries that push their kids too hard, they have, like, ulcerated bowels. Like, they've been working on Wall street for 60 goddamn years, and they're like, seven. The level of stress that they put on them. Fuck that. My kid's gonna be a goddamn kid, all right? I flunked everything in fucking in high school. I fucked up everything. I got arrested for drinking and driving. I was unloading trucks. I did all of this shit, and then one day, I just figured out, what the fuck do I. What do I want to do? You know, I found a passion and I followed it, and I was fine. And I remember back in the day, they used to fuck out. You need two years of a language. If you don't have two years of a fucking language, you can't. Blah, blah, blah. It's all fucking bull. You know, he used to say that, the language teacher. Everybody, fuck everybody. Let your kid be a goddamn kid. And all these private schools with their nine zillion dollar, you know, oh, you better get in when the kids are just playing with blocks. The early you you get in, the better chance you have for your kid to continue on. In other words, start fucking lining our pockets now? You know, why don't you just have. I don't know, wouldn't it be cheaper to just have your kid homeschooled? You're gonna drop all that cash, like, he's already going to Yale and then going to school, and they're going the wheels on the bus go round and round, round and that'll be enough, yeah, the credit card didn't work. Yeah, I can't teach you the rest of the song. All right. Birthday boat party. Hey, Bill, you bald headed eagle. Jesus. Going old school on that one. Hey, you chiseler. Hey, you sidewinder. Recently, my girlfriend dumped me over a text message. I swear to God, if that. If that existed back in the day, I would. I would fucking be lighting phones up if that wasn't bad enough. I got the text just as I was walking into a movie with a buddy. She told me straight that she didn't love me anymore. I took it like a man, watched the movie, went home and cried like a honest guy. Two days later, I went to a party on a boat. I spotted my now ex. We made eye contact and she looked away. So now I'm trapped on a boat for four hours. You didn't know that she was going to be there with a bunch of drunk cunts I don't want to be around. And of course her. I made an attempt to ask her why the fuck she didn't have the balls to dump me face to face, but she ignored me totally. Ah, she's young and immature. I then saw her walk over to a guy and start kissing him. Jesus Christ. I commend you, sir, for not throwing yourself and them also overboard. A fucking double murder slash suicide. Bill, I have no fucking idea how I didn't punch this cunt, but I decided not to. I now wish I had punched his stupid fucking face. And my question is, what? Should I have. Should I have done something? Fuck no. Why are you punching him? He's doing what he's supposed to be doing. He's supposed to be out there trying to fucking hook up with women, all right? Any bad feelings you have should be towards her. But here's the thing, dude. You know, in the long run, she did you a favor because she didn't love you, okay? And eventually she could have done that while you had two kids with her and you actually had to pay her fucking money. She did you a favor, all right? Yeah, don't ever do that. That's the dumbest shit ever. When people fucking date somebody and then they get dumped and then they're fucking dating somebody else. I mean, and then you go over and you confront the other fucking person. They're outside the circle, you know? So what should he have done? You should just been a fucking gentleman. That's what you should have done. You just be a fucking gentleman. Just be like, hey, you know, evidently, you know, she doesn't want to be with me anymore. I mean, dude, I know. Listen, I got dumped. I know how fucking hard this is. I remember one time I actually fucking was talking to somebody hard on the table. This woman dumped me out of fucking nowhere. And I'm in a bar, of course, and I'm talking to a buddy of mine. And the problem was he got dumped, like, four years earlier, and he still wasn't over it, and he fucking hated women. So this is who I'm pouring my heart out to. And I was like, you know, I mean, I thought everything was going fine. What the fuck? And I did all that shit. And he just goes, hey, you know, I don't know. Maybe she wanted to fuck somebody else. And I just said, you know what? I said, you know what? Fuck you. I actually flipped. I was like, fuck you.

[Bill Burr]

You.

[Paul Virzi]

That has nothing to fucking do with this. That has to do with that fucking shit. That fucking cunt you dated four fucking years ago. You stuck. Still not over. And I've been having to carry you off the field like Kellen Winslow after that overtime game for laugh out of every bar for the last four years. You can't sit here. He's like, dude, I'm sorry. Off. That just brought up a bad memory, actually. Did I say that? That's probably what I said on the way home. I think I said that on the way home. I think I just said you when I walked out of the bar. That's right. That's what happened. That's how old I am. I'm so old. My memory is the fantasy. My memory is what I should have said. I did say you. And I walked on. He's like, oh, no. And I just walked out. One of the few times I didn't pay for my round of beers, I was just like, you walked out anyways. He said, hope you're well. Thanks. And go yourself. Dude, you took it like a man. What are you gonna do? And, you know, keep taking it like a man and keep going home in private and cry it out of you. That's what women do. Fucking. They cry it out of them, and then they can move on. The fact that she dumped you and then, of course, is immediately making out with this guy is really suspect. But you never know with them. You never know. That could have just. She could have just picked that guy because you were there. You have no fucking idea. And here's the thing, dude. Even if she was already banging that fucking douche while making out with that douche when she was with you, then that's the 10. That's who you were with. So good fucking riddance, all right? That's what you had. You. You thought you drafted somebody in the first round that didn't fucking work out. And you know what? That guy just picked up her contract for you, you know, so now you got all this cap space, all right? Go cry her out of your fucking heart. You know, but don't go around hating women. That's what I did. Big mistake. All that does is, is stop you from meeting a sweetheart. Because you know who loves an angry woman hater, A psycho chick. All right? There you go. All right. Russian girlfriend. Hey, Billy Blue balls. Hey, man, I was. Hey, man, I was wondering if you could give me some advice. I'm a 27 year old from New Zealand and current resident. And current. Oh, Jesus. And current. Currently residing is what you should have said instead of current residing here. Current resident here. Current residing here. Okay. I've met and recently started dating a girl from Russia. We've been officially dating for about five months now. Everything is going great. Never been happier. If she ever asked you to take a boat ride, don't get on the boat, all right? And I'm not talking about. Because of the last thing, all right? That's when you show up. There's a couple other shifty guys there. And then your identity gets stolen and we never see you again. All right? She's hot. Best in bed I've ever had. And I've had a lot. Ha ha. Got a great personality and someone I could see going further into the future with. Okay, well, you're writing me, so I know the other shoe is going to drop. The only issue is that her visa is about to run out in a few months. Oh. Before she moves back. Unless we can. She can find a decent job here. The only issue with that is the job market over here for the type of work she is after is very small. A translator. We've been checking the job sites and whatnot over the past month with not much luck. So I've put up the idea of maybe heading over to Russia, try to start a life over there. Oh, no. Fuck no. But that's a great way to see if she's with you because she wants to be with you. Though my qualification can take me anywhere in the world, but I'm still skeptical on, well, should I just uplift my whole life and move to a country that doesn't really speak much English? Apparently with my girlfriend that I've only known for a few months. Plus not knowing much Russian. Yeah, plus you don't know how that country fucking works, all right? You have no idea how that fucking country works. Dude, you're talking like you're dealing with the fucking mob. Hang on one second, all right, Sorry. I just realized I double booked myself.

[Bill Burr]

I had a fucking figure somehow.

[Paul Virzi]

Yeah, dude, you have no idea. Like, what's going on over there. Like, that's a whole different animal over there. That's a whole different government. The level of influence that the mob has, I mean, that shit is fucking hardcore over there. Russia is no joke. Where the fuck did you say you were coming from? You're going from New Zealand to Russia. You give him the garden. They're eating that. Dude, fuck that. That, that. Get her a job interview. They'll see how beautiful she is. And you know, you know, do what you can do. Dude, that, that. Repeat that. I'm not even reading the rest of this. Fuck that. Do not move from fucking New Zealand to Russia. Jesus Christ. Do not do that. Please don't do that. Okay, I never begging the podcast, but I'm begging you right now, do not fucking do that. Jesus. You can go from the fucking Garden of Eden to the. Now you're the immigrant, now she's trying to get you a fucking job. You know, what kind of money you gonna make over there? I got no fucking ideal. Fuck that. All right. Soccer coach rips off shirt after rejection. Hey, Billy dad sac. Oh, that was as original as Billy Bald Eagle was not. All right. Saw this video and thought it might interest you. During a recent soccer game, an Argentinian player accidentally knocks a player out from the other team and ends up getting ejected from the game as a result. After he gets ejected, the coach freaks out. Yeah, watch the clip. Starts yelling at the refs, then he gets ejected. So when he realizes that he's also ejected, he rips his shirt off, only to reveal. And he's an older guy too, you know, I don't know. I can't tell how old the guy is. Somewhere between 40 and 50. Rips his shirt off, only to reveal that not only is this dude fucking shredded, but also his whole back is covered in tattoos, making him look like he spends his free time going to bare knuckle brawling down by the shipyard. Thanks for all the laughs and go yourself. Yeah, I watched the clip of this. This guy looks like. This guy looks like he's done some time in prison. What's amazing is the rest of his body that you can see he has no tattoos. And then on the back it's just like. I don't know what the fuck he's got going on, but his entire back is covered and it's all of those, you know.

[Bill Burr]

You know, if you touch my family.

[Paul Virzi]

I will fucking kill you. It's those kinds of tattoos. It's not the. I was in a frat and I got drunk one and all right, this is my old girlfriend's name and we fucking turned it into a swan or whatever the fuck they do. This is like hardcore. You know, this guy's going to punch you in the throat. It's a great clip. I really appreciate it. All right, let me make sure I did everything here. Russian girlfriend, do not stay in New Zealand Birthday boat party. Yep. You got a lot of cap space. Good for you making your own baby food. You know, I'll see about that airline bumping a. Agree to disagree. But I like the fact that you went out there and stuck up for the airlines and I think that's it. I read all the things, right. Oh, I didn't talk about the F1 race. Motherfucker. Did you guys watch it? Have I got. I know, I know after. Nia's just absolutely eviscerated watching racing. I hope if you were going to watch a race, the Spanish Grand Prix.

[Bill Burr]

Was a great one.

[Paul Virzi]

Lewis Hamilton had the pole. Sebastian Vettel, I think was. Yeah, it was in the second position. And then Boris Karloff, whoever, I can't keep forgetting his name. Lewis Hamilton's driving mate there, his car caught on fire. But the first guy, the other guy who drives for Ferrari, whatever the. His, whatever his name is. Ricky Ricardo, I can't remember. No. Daniel Ricardo drives for Force India. No, he doesn't. He drives for Red Bull. Why don't I just go on and look up the goddamn names? Because most of you guys don't watch this, so you don't. You don't know. You guys know as much as I know. So here's what happened, all right? The race starts and what's his face. Lewis Hamilton, as always, gets a bad start. Sebastian Vettel goes around him. Battle drives the Ferraris. Lewis Hamilton's with Mercedes. Vettel is out in front of how many points? He was ahead. He was like 15 points ahead of some. And in the old days, last year when I. I've been watching for a year, the old days, which is Monaco, of last year when I started watching. If you were. If you went to the turn first, whoever wants got. Got through the first turn first, in first place. Drove in the clean air. That was it. You won the race unless you messed up a pit stop or you, your car shit the bed. So he gets out in front and then his buddy there, the other Ferrari guy, gets knocked out of the race. Okay? And they fucking, they cut to this kid in the stands wearing this Ferrari thing. Where are the drivers? Why is it so difficult? Drivers, here we go, here we go. I should have had this all ready to go. I'm sorry, I'm like slowing this the fuck down. The Raikkonen guy gets knocked right out of the race. And this little fucking kid, they cut to him, he's wearing all Ferrari gear and he's just crying his eyes out. And they're sitting there going, well, like Vettel's still in first place. Well, he must have been a big Raikkonen fan, however the fuck you say his name. And they showed him twice bawling his eyes out. I couldn't believe a kid this little was that into racing. I thought it was really cool. And later on the driver got knocked out of the race for Ferrari. They actually, they brought the kid in and he took a picture with him and everything. So ended up being a good deal. Although he probably cried again when Lewis Hamilton went around him. But anyways it was a great race from front to back. These new fucking tires, I guess I have no idea why they got more grip, there's more passing. Lewis Hamilton passed Sebastian Vettel, I think on like lap it's like 20 laps to go, which never happened last year. The second place guy just could never get around the first place guy once he was out there. I don't know, it was a great race. And then Lewis Hamilton for some reason.

[Bill Burr]

Was like out of breath when he.

[Paul Virzi]

Was talking because they were saying because they got the fatter tires they can pull more GS and like just the physically what the fuck they were going through. And Lewis Hamilton didn't have any drinks on board. I didn't know they had drinks on board. I never even dawned on me. But he didn't want to add any more weight to his car so he lost like four and a half pounds. So there you go. You know that actually, you know, there's people out here in Hollywood that have enough money now that the day before they have to go to like a red carpet event, they're gonna, you know, drive around in a race car for three hours so they can drop that final four and a half pounds. I'm telling you, it's gonna happen. So I believe the next, next race Is in Monaco. I don't know. I'm enjoying watching it. Nia's got me all self conscious about talking about it now. I'm gonna blame her then. I wasn't prepared to talk about it. Was there anything else on my, my little list here? So you nerds always wondered, do you riff the whole thing? Pretty much. Pretty much. But I make like a set list. A shit I want to talk to. If I can fucking find it, the hell is it. I give up. I fucking give up with this shit. What did I have on here? I don't know what that is. We'll close this window. This is the most anticlimactic ending to a podcast ever. All right. I said predators Lewis Hamilton Sebastian vetted Daniel Ricardo. First time he was on a podium this year. Oh, had to give a shout out to force India. Still rocking the fuchsia, whatever color that is. I think that was it. Oh, happy Mother's Day. Belated Mother's Day to all the mothers out there. Had a great time, went to brunch. Yep, that's where I am right now. Went to brunch. My parents came out, met their granddaughter. They were over the moon loving her. She was so cute and was just. Didn't cry at all the whole meal and then she got in the car and then that was it. She had friggin had it and was just crying up a storm and. But it was. We ended up having a great day and I came home and I was like. It was crazy. You know, I've just finally entered this part of my life. You know, my parents are older, I got a little one. I'm at brunch and I have no say in the matter. And you know what? It feels good. I had a great time. You know, we had all kinds of family, had a big crew, seven or eight people. And we went to this fucking insane brunch and everybody threw down and had like 3,000 calories each. Great conversation, great people. It was just, it was awesome. All kinds of pictures and that type of shit. And other than the fact I forgot my fucking wallet because I decided to.

[Bill Burr]

Wear a suit and I was gonna.

[Paul Virzi]

Be the big shot picking up the fucking check and I had to go to my parents. So now, now, you know, in a few days when I take him to the airport, I gotta give him the fucking money back. But oh God, it was. Was embarrassing. Really embarrassing. So anyways, that was my Mother's Day. Go yourselves. I will check in on you on Thursday. And let's go Predators. And I don't know. I mean, I got a bunch of friends. I. You know what? In. In Pittsburgh, I'm just rooting for extra hockey at this point. I hope both series go seven games. I don't want to be this little cunty gargoyle on the Ducks. I don't want to do that. You know, why do I got to bring up the Predator's success? And then on Canadiens fans, you know, all their pocket squares are all soaking wet from them blowing their noses and crying about losing to the Rangers. I don't need to do that. Not to mention I have no bragging rights. My team got bounced out. You know, I'm gonna try to be. I'm gonna try to go cuntless for the rest of the Stanley cup playoffs. How about that? Celtics first. The Wiz, he's on down. He's on down the road tomorrow. Tomorrow. My brain says it could go either way, but my heart says there's no way. There's no way. They come in to the Garden, even though it's not the Garden, it's the fleet setter at the Garden, slash, whatever gossip junior, whatever other tags they have for that thing. And I just don't see them doing it. I feel like you know what it is? The Celtics, they got that sound in their crowd the same way the Yankee, old Yankee Stadium had it, you know, knowledgeable fans with a history of success and they. That can push your team to fucking win. And I think they're going to do it. Oh, by the way, Derek Jeter, huh? I missed it. I was at brunch. I missed it. But that's. What a fucking class act, man. He's such a class act. He can go into New York and wing a speech and still kill it. That's it, man. They're out of single numbers. See if I can do it. Billy Martin, number one. Number two, Derek Jeter, number three, Babe Ruth, number four. I always this up. That's Garrick. Five is DiMaggio. And six I looked up today because that's the one I always forgot. But they said it was Joe Torrey. But I thought somebody else had six. Seven's Mickey Mantle, Number eight is Yogi Baron.

[Bill Burr]

Somebody else.

[Paul Virzi]

Nine is Roger Maris. Ten is Chris Chambliss. Eleven is Gary Sheffield. I don't know the rest of them. Thurman Munson's 15. Who else do I remember? Reggie Jackson. They had a retiree that was 44. Bo Diaz. What number? What are you with? 30? I don't know. All right, that's it. That's the podcast. I will. I will check in on your Thursday. And God bless all the mothers out there who work with the family back East. All right, I'm done. It.