Monday Morning Podcast – Episode: January 20, 2025

Host: Bill Burr
Podcast Series: All Things Comedy
Description: Bill Burr rants about relationship advice, sports, and the Illuminati.

1. Local Weather and Los Angeles Geography [00:31 – 03:58]

Bill Burr opens the episode discussing the current weather in Los Angeles, particularly focusing on the Valley area. He expresses frustration with the frequent mentions of "the Valley" in news broadcasts, questioning its significance.

• Bill Burr [01:15]: "Like, where the fuck is that? And I'm so sick of hearing that on the news."

He delves into the geographical aspects, explaining how the Valley is surrounded by mountains, leading to hotter temperatures due to stagnant air. Burr also touches on environmental concerns, mentioning historical nuclear testing and its lingering effects on birth defects.

• Bill Burr [02:18]: "The air just friggin sits there."

2. Personal Life and Family [04:01 – 05:01]

Bill shares a personal anecdote about his daughter's birthday, highlighting the challenges of modern cake-making trends.

• Unknown Speaker [04:01]: "My daughter wanted a multicolored cake with candy in it. Everything has changed. A cake is not a cake anymore."

Bill reflects on how his approach to parenting and household responsibilities has evolved over time.

3. Sports Rants: NFL Playoffs and Chiefs Controversy [05:01 – 10:21]

A significant portion of the episode is dedicated to Bill's passionate takes on the NFL playoffs, focusing on teams like the Bills, Ravens, Eagles, Rams, and especially the Chiefs.

• Bill Burr [05:43]: "The Chiefs are turning the NFL into an entertainment league."

He criticizes the over-commercialization of football games, particularly the inclusion of pop stars like Taylor Swift, which he believes detracts from the essence of the sport.

• Bill Burr [09:55]: "Getting people to scream and yell at each other is a great way to make money."

Bill forecasts a future where the Chiefs dominate the league, influenced by their star players and strategic marketing.

• Bill Burr [10:21]: "They're gonna start that and everybody's just going to be screaming and yelling."

4. Riding a Motorcycle and Personal Hobbies [18:48 – 24:44]

Bill recounts his experience riding a new Harley Davidson motorcycle, detailing the learning curve and the exhilaration it brought him.

• Bill Burr [19:40]: "I can just stick handle without looking at the puck."

He draws parallels between his aviation experience and motorcycle riding, emphasizing the importance of understanding and mastery.

5. Political Rants and Social Commentary [24:44 – 44:54]

Bill addresses a listener's email criticizing his appearance on Jimmy Kimmel's show, leading to a broader rant about political polarization and the state of the Democratic Party.

• Bill Burr [30:43]: "Hillary stole the primary from Bernie. So many others are fucking sick of Democrats, Hollywood, CIA operatives, and all other media bullshit."

He critiques the influence of corporations in shaping public transportation and environmental policies, linking historical actions to present-day issues.

• Bill Burr [40:12]: "We've known about global warming since the late 1950s. These corporations have done everything they can to suppress that information."

6. Listener Interactions and Recommendations [44:54 – 55:16]

Bill engages with listener emails, offering book and TV show recommendations. He suggests "White Malice" by Dr. Susan Williams to a listener interested in CIA operations and African nations.

• Bill Burr [46:36]: "I present White Malice by Dr. Susan Williams."

He also recommends the Disney Plus show "Skeleton Crew" for its blend of Star Wars and 80s adventure elements.

• Bill Burr [54:31]: "There's a great show on Disney Plus called Skeleton Crew."

7. Additional Rants and Final Thoughts [55:16 – End]

Bill continues his critique of political figures, expressing disdain for past and present presidents while lamenting the current state of American politics.

• Bill Burr [53:12]: "Bill Clinton. Oh, he looked like that guy that won blue ribbons in a barbecue contest."

He concludes by urging listeners to maintain common decency and avoid divisive behavior, emphasizing the importance of personal responsibility over political blame.

• Bill Burr [56:24]: "Be nice to each other. Don't be cunts."

Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• Bill Burr [01:15]: "Like, where the fuck is that? And I'm so sick of hearing that on the news."
• Bill Burr [02:18]: "The air just friggin sits there."
• Bill Burr [05:43]: "The Chiefs are turning the NFL into an entertainment league."
• Bill Burr [09:55]: "Getting people to scream and yell at each other is a great way to make money."
• Bill Burr [10:21]: "They're gonna start that and everybody's just going to be screaming and yelling."
• Bill Burr [19:40]: "I can just stick handle without looking at the puck."
• Bill Burr [30:43]: "Hillary stole the primary from Bernie. So many others are fucking sick of Democrats, Hollywood, CIA operatives, and all other media bullshit."
• Bill Burr [40:12]: "We've known about global warming since the late 1950s. These corporations have done everything they can to suppress that information."
• Bill Burr [46:36]: "I present White Malice by Dr. Susan Williams."
• Bill Burr [54:31]: "There's a great show on Disney Plus called Skeleton Crew."
• Bill Burr [53:12]: "Bill Clinton. Oh, he looked like that guy that won blue ribbons in a barbecue contest."
• Bill Burr [56:24]: "Be nice to each other. Don't be cunts."

Conclusion

In this episode, Bill Burr delivers his signature blend of humor and frustration, tackling a wide range of topics from local LA geography and personal anecdotes to heated discussions on sports and politics. His candid rants provide listeners with an unfiltered look into his perspectives, encouraging them to reflect on societal changes and personal responsibilities.