Monday Morning Podcast 9-22-25

Host: Bill Burr
Date: September 22, 2025
Episode Theme:
Bill Burr begins this episode with his classic blend of rants and personal stories, focusing on the aftermath of NFL Sunday, nostalgic takes on sports, skepticism about officiating and conspiracy theories, personal updates on travel and comedy, thoughts on internet addiction, a deep dive into War of the Worlds, performing and drumming, the culture of taping Grateful Dead shows, and the nature of anxiety and self-improvement.

Main Themes & Purpose

• Honest sports commentary, especially on Patriots, NFL officiating, and the broader experience of being a fan
• Exploration of conspiracy theories in football and culture, with Burr’s signature satirical bent
• Updates on Bill's comedy projects, touring, and reflections on balancing work, family, and personal projects
• Riffing on misinformation, the reliability of history, and the importance of learning
• Interactions with listeners on topics ranging from music to mental health, with thoughtful (if irreverent) advice

Episode Breakdown

1. Pat Patriot Nostalgia & the State of the Patriots

[00:02 – 09:08]

• Bill opens with NFL Sunday recap, focusing on watching his New England Patriots in their throwback uniforms.
• Nostalgically recalls watching games with his dad in the early '70s and laments the current team's growing pains.
• Expresses optimism for new coach Vrabel, despite six turnovers, drawing funny analogies between a young team learning to win and a toddler learning how to walk.
• Quote:

  “What? You gonna yell at him because he can’t run yet? You encourage him. Hey! And he falls on his ass. Good job, buddy, good job. The football version of that, which is: ‘You gotta get your fucking heads in the game.’” (Bill Burr, 05:45)

• Comments on division rivals, giving props to the Jets even as a Patriots fan.
• Calls out people who revel in Jets fans' suffering:

  “…if you’re wishing more misery on Jets fans, then I also think that you align with people that work for ICE.” (Bill Burr, 07:45)

2. NFL Gambling, Officiating, & Conspiracy Theories

[09:09 – 21:45]

• Enters “Billy Conspiracy” mode—questions ambiguity around NFL rules (“Is it a catch or isn’t it?”) and how it could influence betting outcomes.
• Compares NFL review calls to classic mob movies and laments the loss of “Italians in the booth.”
• Quote:

  “That is the NFL’s version of the baseline…when that guy…was fixing games, he said one of your best friends when you’re fixing a game is the baseline.” (Bill Burr, 13:08)

• Extended rant on how rule ambiguity (like the football move and the “tuck rule”) can enable game-fixing.
• Detour on confusing sports rules—admits to never understanding what a “balk” in baseball is, or what constitutes a “football move.”
• “It’s like geometry didn’t make sense then, doesn’t make sense now…”
• Quick, comedic mention of coaching changes in Seattle, mixing up names hilariously:

  “Is it the Michael McDonald? He came from somewhere back in the long ago called a flea flicker.” (Bill Burr, 19:40)

3. Comedy Career & Life Updates

[21:46 – 27:30]

• Personal update on balancing being off the road while working on scripts and other projects (teases but doesn’t reveal specifics).
• Gives shoutouts to Dean Del Rey (“his best material of his career, is fucking murdering”) and up-and-comer Ambria Allen.
• Details recent road gig in Riverside, gratitude for audiences, and the thrill when opening acts “murder.”
• Upcoming road gigs: “I’m going to Saudi Arabia and Bahrain this week. Really excited to head out there for that.” (24:28)
• Reflections on performing abroad and learning from new audiences.

4. Quitting and Moderating Internet Use

[27:31 – 35:10]

• Explains his semi-withdrawal from Instagram and internet use, likening it to quitting drinking or cigars.
• Observes how staying off the internet has cut down on exposure to traumatic or sensational content.
• Quote:

  “The Internet is not fucking real…you go into a library…and the library has shit divided into fiction and nonfiction. You go on the Internet and there’s only one category: nonfiction.” (Bill Burr, 32:20)

• Jokes about the performative “get off the internet” advice videos that still live on the internet.
• Encourages learning a language, instrument, or skill rather than doomscrolling.
• Bemoans the current political climate, referencing the inability of public figures (“president cannot handle monologue jokes”) to handle criticism.

5. Social Commentary: Dictators, ICE, and Corporate Power

[35:11 – 41:30]

• Draws links between historical dictators’ use of force (Mussolini, Hitler) and contemporary ICE operations in the US.
• Raises concerns about what happens to authoritarian mechanisms once their original “targets” are gone.
• Critiques corporate influence on politics and erosion of freedom of speech.
• “At this point, I am still allowed to speak it.” (Bill Burr, 40:45)
• Tongue-in-cheek praise for Donald Trump’s mastery of vengeance, not business.

6. War of the Worlds: Correcting Misinformation

[44:11 – 50:36]

• Invokes the concept of philosophia (love of knowledge) over philonochia (love of victory) in debates.
• Shares a detailed listener email correcting his long-held beliefs about the 1938 “War of the Worlds” hysteria (turns out it was exaggerated by newspapers threatened by radio, not a mass panic).
• Quote:

  “My whole…not my whole life, since I was in college over 30 years ago…I had a professor that went along with what they saw and told this to my class. Turns out, it was completely false. That is wild.” (Bill Burr, 49:20)

• Reflects on how easy it is for misinformation to spread and the value in being open to correction.

7. Listener Mailbag: Motorcycles, Acting, and Stand-Up

[51:20 – 01:03:45]

• Stories from riding and selling motorcycles; analogy about fighter pilot recruitment and having the “balls to ride” but the wisdom to quit.
• Reads a letter about his Broadway run (“Glengarry Glen Ross”) and discusses how working with great actors changed his craft.
• Invited to perform in Florida—riffs on the toughness of living with alligators and hurricanes.
• High praise for Adam Sandler and the emotional weight of Sandler’s Chris Farley tribute:

  “That guy’s the best…every time I watch the Chris Farley song, I get choked up.” (Bill Burr, 01:01:25)

8. Music & Drumming Practice

[01:03:46 – 01:09:14]

• Updates on drumming progress—current goals are one-handed 16th note exercises, inspired by James Gadson and Bill Withers’ “Kissing My Love.”
• Describes building his endurance by playing to songs at gradually faster tempos.
• Amused by the listener’s deep-dive into Grateful Dead “taping culture” and points him to a recording of the 1989 Sullivan Stadium show.

9. Listener Mailbag: Jesus, Banking, and Conspiracy Connections

[01:09:15 – 01:17:30]

• Entertaining response to a listener’s “mess with the dough, you gotta go” theory tying Jesus, Lincoln, and JFK’s deaths to their “interference” with financial systems.
• Delights in the bizarre, barroom quality of these conspiracies:

  “This conversation right here makes me miss day drinking. Because this is the kind of shit you’d walk into if you just could get that quiet guy at the end of the bar to open up.” (Bill Burr, 01:12:30)

• Promises to read more history now that he’s “off the internet.”

10. Relationships, Anxiety & Self-Improvement Advice

[01:17:31 – 01:25:57]

• Reads and responds to a heartfelt listener letter from a 43-year-old struggling with loneliness and depression, despite working out, being in therapy, and playing in a metal band.
• Shares his own battles with social anxiety, small talk, and how performing can paradoxically co-exist with introversion.
• Offers practical advice: start small with social situations, normalize anxiety and loneliness, and acknowledge growth.
• Quote:

  “I found with therapy that there’s a lot of shit in your head that you think is a mountain because it happened to you as a kid…by the time you’re an adult, it really just ends up stepping up onto a curb.” (Bill Burr, 01:21:50)

• Encourages the listener (and all listeners) to keep pushing through, seek help, and expand their comfort zones.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Patriots fans and patience:

  “They should have beat the Steelers today. They just don’t know how to do it yet. You know, it’s like watching your kid learn how to walk...” (05:28)

• On internet reality:

  “You go into a library…it’s divided into fiction and nonfiction. You go on the Internet and there’s only one category: nonfiction. Everybody is spinning it. I’m telling you the truth. And I gotta be honest, I can’t fucking…handle it anymore.” (32:20)

• On misinformation & War of the Worlds:

  “Turns out, it was completely false. That is wild. But when you break down the reasons for it, it totally makes sense and, you know, is really relevant to today.” (49:26)

• On depression and loneliness:

  “If you weren’t depressed and you were spending this amount of time alone, you might be a psycho. So the fact that you’re depressed, this is all...I think normal and your…soul telling you that this person by yourself is not who you are.” (01:20:55)

• On Chris Farley tribute:

  “That’s the second time I’ve seen [Adam Sandler] do the Chris Farley song. I don’t know how he gets through it. I get choked up every time.” (01:01:25)

Timestamps for Important Segments

• 00:02–09:08 – NFL Sunday, Patriots, and childhood nostalgia
• 09:09–21:45 – NFL officiating, conspiracy theory riff
• 21:46–27:30 – Comedy & career updates, road gig stories
• 27:31–35:10 – Internet use, addiction, and quitting social media
• 35:11–41:30 – Social commentary, corporate power, ICE
• 44:11–50:36 – Listener correction: War of the Worlds hysteria debunked
• 51:20–63:45 – Motorcycles, acting, Adam Sandler
• 63:46–69:14 – Drumming, music practice, Grateful Dead taping
• 69:15–77:30 – Listener conspiracy on Jesus, Lincoln, JFK
• 77:31–85:57 – Listener advice: depression, self-improvement, anxiety

Tone and Delivery

Throughout the episode, Bill blends humor, cynicism, bemusement, and empathy in his ranting, storytelling, and listener interactions. He’s quick to admit mistakes, laugh at himself, and find the comic angle in the everyday—always maintaining the tone that regular listeners expect.

Summary

This episode offers a rich mix of sharp sports takes, self-aware rants on modern life, honest reflections on personal struggles, and thoughtful responses to listeners, all delivered in Bill Burr’s signature voice. Whether he’s dissecting the NFL, debunking radio legends, or giving heartfelt advice on loneliness, there’s substance, wit, and a genuine desire to connect behind every punchline.