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Hey, what's going on? It's Bill Burr and it's time for the Monday morning podcast for Monday, September 21, 2025. What's going on? How are ya? How's it going? Oh, Jesus there. How was your football Sunday? How was it? Was it a good one? Was it a bad one? I watched my New England Patriots and their throwback Pat Patriot uniforms, which I love. I still wish they would come back with the black cleats. That uniform with the black cleats going back to like, you know, gonna say Irving Fryer. He was the white cleats by then. I was Jim Plunkett when I first started. Mac Heron way, way, way back, over 50 years ago. I've been watching the Patriots for over 50, probably about 73 or 74, about five or six years old the first time. I remember watching them with my dad. But anyway, I saw a lot of great things. I saw a lot of bad things. I. I already think. I already feel like Vrabel is the guy. I feel like he's turning this team around. Yes, we had six turnovers. Yes, it got ugly there. Yes. All of that stuff, however, you know, there's this. There's a. There's a lot to be happy with. I mean, we were competitive right to the end of the game, and we were nowhere last year. We were nowhere. So everybody, you know, everybody's got to fucking relax and give, you know, give them more than three games to turn this around. So if you just look at today, obviously they're going to work on protecting the football, all right? I mean, that. That pickoff in the end zone, the ball got tipped. What are you going to do? Right? But the fumbles and that type of stuff, just protect the ball better. Just imagine, imagine if we didn't turn the ball over. We would have. That's the kind of game we're going to win. And I kind of get the vibe today that we could win like six or seven games this year, you know, and build momentum towards next year. Very conservative number. Six or seven games, some would say. Maybe I'm getting a little crazy that I think they could win that many, but I think they could win like six or seven games. I think by the end of October, they're going to be a very competitive team. I think they're going to be in a lot of games. I think they're a little bit young, so they're not going to know how to win. Like today, they should have won. They should have beat the Steelers today. They just. They just don't know how to do it yet. You know, it's like, you know, watching your kid learn how to walk. What, are you gonna yell at him because he can't run yet? You encourage him. Hey. And he falls on his ass. Good job, buddy. Good job. Yeah, the football version of that, which is, you got to get your fucking heads in the game. I mean, that's how it works. But that's the same thing. It translates. It definitely translates. How about the Jets? What a great game that was. Heartbreaker that they lost it in the end. But, you know, if I'm a Jet fan, I'm liking the direction they're going in. That kid blocked the field goal right there at the end, picked it up and ran it in. I mean, they're in my division, and I was going crazy when I saw that. That was fucking amazing. And, you know, I'm not a. You know, I root for my teams, but I'm not a cunt. All right, anybody that wishes more misery on jets fans, I mean, you really gotta, like, you know, if you work. If you're wishing more misery on jets fans, then I also think that you align with people that work for ice. You know what I mean? Let's go down to Home Depot. These illegal immigrants, they're. They're down here, they trying to work and, you know, they're scared shitless. And, you know, to pay off my college tuition, I'm going to help throw them in a van. Yeah, that's the kind of people that. That. See what I did there? I kind of tied it all in there. It made sense in my head. Here's one for you. Is. Is. By the way, I got to be honest with you. Aaron Rodgers looks good as a Steeler. You know, that uniform. I wish he didn't shave the beard, though. Wish he had a little bit of that Kenny Stabler, silver hair in the beard, you know, silver whiskers, the grizzled vet, taken over one of the oldest teams in the NFL. I don't know, I kind of like it. I had money on the Niners versus the Cardinals. That game still going on. It's currently six to three. Is there anything worse than having fucking money on a dog shit game like that? Uh oh, here comes Billy Conspiracy. Here comes Billy Conspiracy. I've been thinking. Oh, Bill, why would you do that? Whatever you do, whatever you do, Bill, don't start thinking. Um, I've been thinking lately a couple of things. One, the genius of making sports gambling legal, aside from all the extra money that the state makes and the league makes. It's basically, you know, you're paying taxes through football games because they. Everybody's, you know, wetting their beak. It's a more exciting way to pay for paying the roads in your state, I guess, at the end of the day. But now that so many more people, I believe, are gambling on football, so many more people are going to hang around and watch a dog shit game to the end. Because as much as it's not entertaining, it matters. It matters to your wallet. And then my other thing, the whole. Is it a. Is it a catch? Is it not a catch? The whole ambiguity of that, which I can, you know, gun to my head, I would just flip a coin. I have no idea which way they're gonna go. They literally catch the ball and start running with it. And then there's that whole fucking up to interpretation. You can't argue with it. Did the person make the move or not? And that right there is how you fix a football game. Right there. I'm not. That is the NFL's version of the baseline. I remember when that guy. Was it Donaghy that was fixing games, he said, one of your best friends, when you're fixing a game is the baseline or something like calling shit out or whatever when it's in and vice versa and all of that type of shit. Calling files the football version to fuck a game one. I'm not saying they do this every game, but if there's. If there needs to be some fuckery, that's a great place to go. Is the. But did he. Because the guys in the booth never know. What do you think is going to. I don't know. Like they can sit there and say, that's a fumble. That isn't a fumble, except with the stupid tuck rule. But like, they know. Did his knee touch the ground before, after that shit you can't fuck with. But that whole Diddy or did he not make a football move? And that is just all. They get on a fucking phone and they call some guy in New York. I mean, Jesus Christ, what else do you need? What do you. What else do you need? I mean, that. That's like a fucking Bronx tale, you know? Who are they calling? Chaz Palminteri. Who are they calling in New York? Some Italian guy hanging out in front of a social club. What is going on there? I have no idea, actually. I don't think there's any Italians involved in it anymore, which really sucks, because when the Italians did it, you know what I mean, it was a lot more fun it looked better. The food was great. There was a spread. You know what I mean? Not just on the game. They had the food laid out, all of that shit. As opposed to these fucking corporate cunts. Heartless cunts. So that's my new. That's my new conspiracy theory. That one of the ways obviously you can call holding on any play, but I was watching that Auburn game when that guy caught the ball. He gets tackled. His ass hits the defenders underneath him, so he's never on the ground. The ball flies out of his hands. The guy from Auburn catches it and runs it back. They're literally going, did he make a football move? Do you make a football move? He ran like two steps. He caught the fucking ball, turned and ran a step and a half. At what point? Two things I'm never going to figure out. Is it or is it not a Bach? I don't know what the fuck a Bach is, and I don't know what a football move is. And you know, I just look at it like geometry didn't make sense then, doesn't make sense now, and it's not going to make sense to me in the future. I understand what it's for and I understand that whatever part of your brain you go to to understand it, I do not have access to. You know, it's like when you click on an ad on the Internet and it's to some newspaper and you start to read it and then that thing comes up, you need to subscribe and you're like, I'm not fucking doing this. I'm never going to see that article. I'm not in this circle. I don't have the passcode. All right? Anyway, and with that, with that, that, that chatter. Jesus Christ. What the fuck happened to the Saints? I went to turn that game on because the 49ers Cardinals game was so bad. And that was the game we had out here on the west coast. And Seattle was up 21 to nothing. They really are that bad, huh? Who's the coach for Seattle? Is it I. I saw. Is it the Michael McDonald? He came from somewhere back in the long ago called a flea flecker. Anyway, plowing ahead here, I had a fantastic week. Working my ass off. Not really been on the road, but working on some scripts and stuff like that. Some projects with some people I'm excited to work with that I can't talk about yet. But hopefully in the future these. These projects will come to fruition. I did a road gig last night in Riverside. Hadn't been there in a minute Played the Fox Theater out there. I want to thank each and every person that came out last night. I had such a great time and I worked with Dean Del Rey who I'm telling you has written his best material of his career, is fucking murdering. And I've been using another new comic that I just. Well, d's not a new comic, but I work a new person into the rotation, you know, because I don't bring cupcakes on the road. And they, all of them end up going out headlining, you know, Paul Versi going around the country fucking destroying, Joe Bartnik going around the country fucking destroying. So Dean Del Rey is going to be going soon, right? So I always got to have somebody new. So I've been working with this comedian, Ambria Allen, who is fucking amazing. Absolutely murdered last night. Made me laugh out loud twice, which I never do. And you know, I get like really psyched when the people in front of me are going out doing their thing. And you know, it just makes for such a great show because the people came out to see the last comic and I think there's this idea that the, the ones that they're going to see before that aren't going to be up to, you know, snuff and then they come out and they fucking murder. Like, I don't know. That's just one of those things where I come out there and I just feel like they already, you know, feel like they're getting their money's worth. All I got to do is just finish this off. So I went out there, tried out some new, a couple of new ones. Some of them went, some of them didn't. But you know, I'm gonna try to jump on stage again tonight. Recording this Sunday, cuz I got some road gigs. Road gigs. I'm going to Saudi Arabia and Bahrain this week. Really excited to head out there for that. There's some big festival out there to go out there and go meet the, the Bill Burr, you know, a fucking Saudi Arabian, Bahrain, you know, it's kind of a great thing to travel the world like that, you know, and I don't know, I'm not going to be there long. Of course it's going to be hottest, it's going to be like, you know, over 100 degrees I think. Geez Louise. But I'm going to try to see whatever I can see and it's kind of cool, man, when you do stand up comedy, it's amazing. Like when you do your act, you can learn so much about people in whatever country you're in or whatever city you're in, but by what they laugh at, the way they laugh at it. They pull back or whatever. So I'm kind of looking forward to that. And what else do I got going on? I've been off the Internet for. I don't know. And by off the Internet, I mean I just kind of. I stopped being on Instagram, you know, like the same way I stopped drinking. I had to. I had to get off it because I loved it and I wanted to do it less. And I was finding that trying to do it less was not my decision. I was really, like, I had to work at it. So, like, I still go on Instagram every day in that, like, towards the end of the day, I go on and I basically just check my DMS in case somebody reached out to me. And, you know, I don't. People thinking that I'm a dick, blowing them off or whatever, but then I immediately get off. So all I really do is. All I really do is I go on duolingo. I've been crushing my French like this. They got this AI chick, Lily, and she used to hang up on me, like, really quick. I was telling you the other day. Now I'm having like five, six, seven minute conversations with her, and I'm starting to fill in some gaps on how to say different things. And she used to just roll her eyes and be like, bad problem, and then just hang up on me, you know, amiento, au revoir a la prochen. And just whatever. She had like 50 ways of being like, all right, I'm done talk to you. I am done talking to you. Anyway, all of that stuff has been going good, but I've been, like, off the Internet. And, you know, over the last couple weeks, there's been some really, like, big stories, and, you know, you hear about the bigger ones, but I'm just, like, kind of away from the hysteria, you know, like, all of that crazy. That crazy stuff that happened out in Utah, I have not seen, nor do I ever want to see the video of that happening to anybody. I don't know why people would want to click on and watch somebody die is. Is like, there's no way to watch stuff like that. And it doesn't do something. Like, I used to do this bit in my act a long time ago where I viewed your soul. Like, it was, like, pixelated. And every time, you know, like, every time you look at something like that that you shouldn't have seen, that's psychologically damaging. It's like, you Lose a couple of cubes. Like, it does something to you. So anyway, I've been just off the Internet, and I gotta be honest with you. Like, the Internet is not fucking real as far as. Like, what I kind of finally realized is, like, you know, you go into a library, remember? You guys remember books? I almost forgot about those things. You go into a library, and the library has shit divided into fiction and nonfiction. You go on the Internet and there's only one category, nonfiction. Everybody is spinning it. I'm telling. I'm telling you the truth. And I got to be honest. I can't fucking. I don't have the capacity to handle it anymore. I am like. I don't know if other people can. If you can, God bless you. It's like some people, like, there's people my age that still drink, and they can handle it. They can go out on a Friday night and have a couple of drinks or have one, like, really nice glass of wine with dinner. I wish I could do that. I can't do it. And I really realized that I have sort of been like, addicted to the Internet for close to 30 years. Like, the first time I got a laptop some in the late 90s, for, like, 25 years, I have just been on there. I don't know what doing. I don't know what I've been doing. I've been watching porno, watching people get kicked in the balls, looking at cars, and I still like doing like that, like, looking at cars and. But I'm gonna, like, kind of go away like I did with cigars. Still have not smoked a cigar since January. I had a talk with my daughter today. I said, you know what? I think I'm gonna have a few in October. But then I want you to get back on me and say, I have to go another hundred days. And she goes, all right, cool. How many are you gonna have? I say, well, usually you let me have five. She goes, all right, cool, Five. So I said, all right. That's what I'm gonna do. So I don't know. That's kind of where I'm at. So, you know, I'm not saying you have to get off the Internet. I'm not saying you gotta do it. You know, I'm not gonna be one of those guys like you see on the Internet. Like, if I was making an Instagram video, I would be like, I would say, you're getting off the Internet, and now you instantly feel better even though this is posted on the Internet. So I guess that's not even My idea, looking at it, like, drinking. I saw this thing that said being on a social media app like Instagram is. Is five times worse than drinking. I also saw that on the Internet. So it's five times worse by what, analytics? I don't fucking know. All I can say is that you can literally go out and learn to play an instrument, speak a new language, get a pilot's license, learn how to cook something. You can just do all of these amazing things with. That time that you're going on there with shit that I just feel is. It's. You know, it's really. It's out there to make you feel bad, man. And all of this crazy shit that's like. Like happening, like, right now. I mean, I don't know. We're living in a world. For the first time ever, we're living in a world where. Where a president cannot handle monologue jokes that are made about him, which is. That's a new one. I hope they bring Jimmy back. I mean, what the fuck are we doing? This is. This is. This is. This isn't. This is insane. You know, it's funny because I'm reading this book on Enzo Ferrari right now, and he was talking about that period where Mussolini was coming up. Mussolini. All these dictators have a group, you know, Hitler, I think, had brown shirts. Mussolini had black shirts. You know, Trump has ice. You know, that's the thing that worries me about ice. It's like, okay, when they get rid of all the illegals, they still have those vans, and they still have Alligator, Alcatraz. Then who's going in the van? And when you have someone with the dictator mindship, mindset, somebody always has to be going in the van. When you lead by fear, when you lead by division, that is the key. The key is division. Got to make sure people are fucking scared to open their fucking mouths. I don't know, but I will say, like, these. These fucking corporate assholes at the top, the shit that they will do, they will fuck their own company country over. They will say, fuck freedom of speech. They'll say all of that. And it's just like six of them. Just so a merger or some fucking money thing can go down and they can get their 7, 8 figure whatever the fuck they're trying to get, bonus. It's really gross. Like, why aren't they going into vans, fucking throwing people in there that. What are they. What are they doing making papooses in the back of a fucking restaurant? Like, what happened to the people eating the dogs and all of this shit, all I see is just fucking people that are trying to work and escape a bad situation and try to make a better. I mean to have no empathy for that, you know what I mean? To pay off your college loans. Taking children out of mother's hands. The kind of people that can do. And you can go to bed at night and block out those blood curdling screams as you close the van door. You know those are the kinds of people that are signing up for that job. They wear a mask to work. And you're telling me when they get rid, when they done with all the illegal aliens and you're telling me when whoever's in power flips the switch to somebody else that all they don't have to do is just, you know, now we'll give you a little house if, if you start putting naturalized, you know, just actual citizens in there that don't line up with what who need to be re educated. All of that, that fucking bullshit, that's how that works. Goes down, it goes down quick anyway. Or I could just be babbling, who knows woke it. No, you know what it is? It's my fucking opinion. And at this point I am still allowed, I'm still allowed to speak it. I will tell you this. I don't know why Donald Trump writes books on, on business. He should really write a book on vengeance because I've never seen anybody better at it. I feel like Shakespeare would be like, God damn, dude. Wow. Anyway, well, we'll see what happens. It's out of my hands. I don't know how to stop it. All right, Squarespace, everybody. Let's do some reads for this week. Squarespace. Squarespace is the all in one website platform designed to help you stand out and succeed online. Whether you're just starting out or scrolling your business, Squarespace gives you everything you need to claim your domain. Showcase your offerings with a professional website or grow your brand and get paid all in one place. From consultations to events and experiences. Showcase your offerings with a customizable website designed to attract clients and grow your business. Get paid on time and with professional on brand invoices and online payments, Squarespace makes it easy to showcase your expertise and engage clients with video content on your website. Upload and organize your videos, create stuff, stunning video libraries and even monetize your content by adding a paywall. Perfect for online courses, exclusive tutorials and premium workshops. 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You know the saying, look good, feel good. Well, the problem is most dress clothes only check one of those boxes. Sure, they look sharp, but they're stiff, hot and high maintenance. Well, that's the truth. That's why I don't like fancy clothes. Every time you rub up against something like, oh, oh, get in a cab, you know, all of a sudden, you know, you're aware of everything anyways, which makes it hard to actually feel comfortable. That's why I'm such a fan of Mizzen in Maine. Mizzen in Maine makes classic menswear with performance fabrics. So it's effortless to look sharp and feel great. All right. I'm already a big fan of performance fabrics. Mizzen in Maine actually invented the performance fabric dress shirt over 10 years ago. And since then, they perfected it with modern fabrics. Mizzen and Main shirts and pants look refined, fine, yet they're stretchy, lightweight, moisture wicking, wrinkle resistance, and completely machine washable. No ironing or drying or dry cleaning. 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And no matter how much you get on an elliptical, your body and your joints are just going to give out before the poison you eat every day is going in. You're going to become a fat fuck. All that that they're talking about, uncomfortable clothes means you're fucking out of shape. That's why you're sweating. That's why everything sucks, all right? So get in shape. When you're in shape, your clothes feel good. That's a slippery slope. Slippery slope. Or you get in shape and you wear mizzen and mane and think how good your man tits will feel. I don't know. I have no idea. All I know is that when I'm a fat fuck, my clothes don't feel good. All right, let's plow ahead. Okay, this is. This is some fantastic information that we got from a listener. Now, I. As I mentioned before, you know, the. The ancient Greeks, there's two mindsets during a debate, okay? The philosophia, philonochia. Philonochia is the love of victory. Your ego is attached to the point that you made, to the point that even if somebody gives you new information that debunks your old information, your pride won't let you. Won't let you let it go. If your brain is in the filler. Nokia, which is what I'm trying to become, which is the love of knowledge. You're not married to your opinions. You can actually get new information and be like, oh, I didn't realize that. You're right. And this is a great example of this. A few weeks ago, I was talking about War of the Worlds. I used it as an example, and I quoted what I learned in my college from a professor that told me the original broadcast of War of the Worlds. They just broke into it. They tried to trick people. People believed it. They got so freaked out, they never thought to turn the channel. Some people actually killed themselves. That is what I've heard my whole life. I never bothered to look it up. Anyway, this person says war of the Worlds. Bill, I wanted to clear up a few misconceptions about the War of the World's radio presentation. Presentation that you mentioned. And this guy's cool because he said a few misconceptions. It was all of my misconceptions. It was my entire conception of War of the Worlds. I was completely wrong. Listen to this. A few of the things you pointed out have been fabricated and made up over time. The broadcast wasn't intended to trick anyone. There were repeated announcements of a radio show that had to do with an alien invasion. A small and debatably significant portion of the audience was carryover from another popular radio show on Another station, that show ended a few minutes after the hour. And those who switched over to the channel. War of the Worlds, World War the worlds was being broadcast on were met with a fake news report. Only a third of the listeners even believed it to be Martians. They were listening to casual. Listen to it casually. They assumed that it was another invasion from another country, given that it was 1939. Okay. A couple of years before Pearl harbor was. What year was Pearl Harbor? 1940. December 7th. Right. So a year before that, newspapers were growing threatened by growing popularity of radio, so ran with the story and fabricated every aspect of it in order to make the claim that the radio should not be as trusted as print. They sensationalize it. Hitler even agreed with this notion, making note of the hysteria. Oh, would you look at that? Doesn't that sound familiar? Fake news. Fake news. But this was actual fake news. And then newspapers exaggerating. This is crazy. This is just. It's been going on forever. There is. There's no actual records of anyone killing themselves. The story of hysteria has become much larger than the hysteria every was ever was. Thanks for the free podcast, dude. Thank you so much for this. I actually looked. I mean, I looked it up on the Internet, but I mean, I think Google is. As long as you don't click on somebody's thing. They backed up everything he was saying. My whole. Not my whole life since I was in College over 30 years ago, 35 years ago, I had a professor that went along with what they saw and told this to my class. And I'm like, well, I'm in college and I'm paying for this. This must be true. Turns out it was completely false. That is wild. But when you break down the reasons for it, it totally makes sense and, you know, is really relevant to today. So there goes all my. Get off the Internet, man. Start reading books. I don't know if you would. If you were to guess the number one commandment that is broken, you got to say it's lying, Right? It's kind of the easiest commandment to break. A lot of the other ones involve planning, killing somebody, or what. All right, anyway, let's. Let's get out of that. Meyer. All right, well, thank you for that information. I had no idea. And now I can pass that on to the next person who used War of the Worlds. I'm now waiting for the emperor's new clothes. This is a big thing. The emperor actually had clothes on. All right, Glengarry. Hey, Billy. Bleach balls. Come on, man. Don't. I Have enough hang ups. I'll tell you what I did do this week that was amazing is I got a, I got a motorcycle that I'm going to sell. It's not my Harley. I absolutely love that thing. I had a, I had a smaller one, a little Royal Enfield, you know, and was what I, I kind of got my feet wet back on riding that thing. And I don't need it now because I just, all I do is ride the Harley. So I'm going to get rid of it and, But I had to ride it back to my house so I could give it to a buddy of mine so he could sell it. And it was like a 20 mile ride through, like, you know, the Valley. And I had a great fucking time. I had a great time riding that thing. It's severely underpowered to ride in traffic, I can tell you that. And what was funny was when I got closer to my neighborhood, I got off the main drag and I was kind of cutting through like the hills in the Valley and thinking that that would be safer than being on like the main drag was not the case. There's just all of these blind turns and everything. So I was just hugging the curb on my side, which was great because this work truck, you know, cut the corner a little bit sharp. I still would have been fine, but it just would have been closer than I needed. But it was, it was a lot of fun. I am really becoming a fucking motorcycle guy. I, I, the smart part of my brain tells me not to, but then the part that needs to fucking chill out enjoys it because there's something about it where you have to concentrate the whole time you're doing it. It just comes, clears your brain, but whatever. I'm just going to continue to ride around the airport. I'll be smart. Somebody was telling me though that, that there was a, one of the criterias for becoming a fighter pilot back in the day was the question, did you ever own a motorcycle? And they wanted you to say yes. And then when they said, did you get rid of it? They wanted you to say yes. So they wanted you have the balls to ride a motorcycle, but also be smart enough to get rid of it. And they're like, all right, this is the guy. I don't know if that litmus test worked. Is that how you say it? But it's interesting either way. All right, Glengarry, everybody. Hey, Billy. Bleach balls. During the your Glengarry run on Broadway, you expressed excitement about the experience, that there was much you wanted to share in the podcast, but said you would speak more about it after the production was over a few weeks back. You got into this a little bit during your conversation with Carol Leifer. She was one of my favorite guests of all time. Man, she was fantastic. This person goes on to say it's fascinating to hear the inside baseball of how a stage ensemble refined their collective process as the production went on, how choices are made to challenge one another or to help each other out. Please consider sharing more stories or insights to how the Glengarry experience has changed your approach to acting. You got to work with some of the best in the business. Yes, I did. So let's hear about it. Also, it's been a minute since you've done Stand up in Central Florida. Yes, it has. It has. I love Florida. I mean, just the. The fact that you guys coexist with alligators is. Is. Is pretty goddamn amazing. Alligators, hurricanes. I mean, that. That is not a state for the weak rising oceans. Anyway, please consider coming to Melbourne, Florida. It's on the coast about an hour southeast of Orlando. We have a great theater called the King Theater. The King Center. Oh, do you? I'm going to look that up. I love an old theater. Carlin, Seinfeld, Gaffigan. Well, there's a murderous row of comedians and more have all played there. It would be great for you to come through to spew your thoughtful ignorance. You know, that's one of the best compliments I've ever gotten on my act, I think. Or best descriptions. Thoughtful ignorance, that's a good name for a special. But you already did it, so I can't use it. Thanks and go fuck yourself, Bill Burr. Thoughtful ignorance, it's a little too high browed. It's a little too clever. It's a little. That's probably why I didn't come up with it and you did. Anyway, did I mention that I saw Adam Sandler? Did I. Did I mention I saw him at Madison Square Garden? If you want a fucking great vibe at a show, go to an Adam. Adam Sandler show. That guy's the best. All right. And that's the second time I've seen him do the Chris Farley song. I don't know how he gets. I get choked up every time I watch that. I don't know how he gets through it. He actually knew the guy. I was just a huge fan, and I get choked up every time I watch it. All right, Grateful Dead show. Recording. Ah, bringing up music. I love music. Bill, what are you working on right now? I am working on my single handed 16th note, still doing that. And my, my eventual playlist that, that I, I want to be able to play along to and not have any fatigue. This is what I'm, I, I've been going with. And I just sort of play to these songs in my head at a slower tempo. But the playlist that is named James Gadson is a Bill Withers song called Kissing My Love. Then there's this incredible song by Rufus that later became Rufus and Shaka Khan, you Got the Love, which is incredible just for drummers in general because it starts off with quarter notes that then go to 8th notes, that then go to 16th notes, then go back to 8th notes and then it rides out with the 16th notes. All of this stuff, the tempo is between like 95 and 100 bpms and it's played with one hand. And the last one is the Dave Grohl guest drumming with Killing Joke, the Death and Resurrection Show. So I've been playing those beats at like, you know, 75, 80 bpms. Like I start at like 70, 75, work up to like 80 and then, you know, it starts. Things start getting tight in my arms, so I stop so I don't hurt myself. And that's what I've been, that's what I've been working on as opposed to the, you know, and then the usual, just sort of noodling around these 16th note triplet licks that I have, tying them all together and then. And I got like these, these, you know, the classic quads. And then playing the bottom left right kick. But as 16th notes with a quarter hi hat that I got from this. Who did I get that from? That was an exercise I saw. I can't remember. I can't remember where to get this from, but that's what I've been working on. I'm babbling here. Let's get back to the thing here. All right. Grateful Dead show. Oh, oh my God. Grateful Dead show Recording. Listen to this one. Hey, Mr. Tangerine Man. Dude, I gotta be the left. These things are. I got. That's just perfect. Hey, Mr. Tangerine Man. I gotta tell that one to Nia. She's gonna, she's gonna love that one on the 98 edition. I was hoping that was some sort of time signature of the Monday morning podcast. You mentioned that you had seen the Dead at Sullivan Stadium in 1989. Great summer for them. It must have been an unreal environment. It was incredible. It was incredible. That was like. I just got to be like a spectator and like, you know, you had, like, the people that were just catching the local Dead show. And then you had. But I also sort of wandered into the actual traveling economy of Deadheads and was, you know, was watching them, you know, selling their wares, be it weed or clothes. They had made drum circles. And, you know, before drum circles became a bad thing, I don't know what happened. Somehow drum circles got tied in with, like, emasculated fathers or. I don't know. And then it was in the middle of Connecticut. It just. It just really went off the rails. It's like anything. It starts off, it's cool, then it gets a little wind in its sail. It meets maximum sort of exposure, and then it just ends up at the mall. You may or may not be aware of the extensive Grateful Dead taping culture and extensive catalog of recordings of all their live performances. I was not. Most of it exists on the Internet archive. I went and found a quality recording of. Of your show here for listening. You're listening. Pleasure and nostalgia. Get the fuck out of here. It claims it. Well, look, it looks. I see. Oh, seven, oh, two. No, no, that's not a date. I was. Oh, seven two. Would that be July 2nd? I remember it was the summer, and I saw that keyboard player was with them still before he unfortunately passed away. Always a sad thing. There's this nothing. That's just the saddest thing ever to me is a great musician on the road passing away in, like, a hotel room. I think that's what happened with that guy. This happened a lot of people and a few comedians, unfortunately. Well, I will definitely check that out. All right. Jesus Lincoln and JFK fun conspiracy. Oh, my God, dude. What? Like. Like, what. What are you doing to me on this one? All right, this is. This is just combining, like, did Trump need to sign off on this one? Like the president signs off on. On mergers? Like this Jesus Lincoln and JFK fund conspiracy. Hey, there, babbling Billy boy Burr. Sometime a year or more ago, you mentioned a present president taking on the banking system, which prompted me to write in. Eventually, I figured I would share my homegrown conspiracy theory on why this doesn't happen that often. In a way, the thesis statement is, if you mess with the dough, you've got to go. This is how I line up Jesus, Abraham Lincoln and John F. Kennedy. Dude, this conversation right here makes me miss day drinking. Because this is the kind of shit you would walk into if you just could get that quiet guy at the end of the bar to open up. This is what it ended up coming out all right with Jesus. No one really cared that this weird dude out in the wilderness was calling himself the Son of God. Healing the sick and lame, raising the dead, and turning dirty food water into Manischevitz. Is that how you spell it? Jesus Christ. But as soon as he kicked over the money chargers table, which is Matthew 21:12 17. Is that how you say? They had him pinned to a piece of wood by the next Friday. Oh, Jesus. He fucked with the dough, so he had to go. Abraham Lincoln created the Greenback to fund the Union army during the Civil War, which had its problems. Then he established the federal banking system around 1863 and 1864. His administration faced opposition from a chaotic, chaotic and fragmented system of thousands of private state chartered banks. And we see what happened to him. Shot in the head in public. All right, two for two here. These are people that are dying and they both messed. I don't quite understand what. I mean when, when Lincoln did this, I mean this was like you just said, it was a chaotic and fragmented system of thousands of private state fund chartered banks. But I guess they all got together. I don't know. JFK signed Executive Order 11110 in 1963 which gave executive permission to to the US treasury to print currency backed by silver. These are also known as a Kennedy notes and are collectibles nowadays. Again, shot in the head in public. Rattle these three nuggets around your fair freckled dome. If you're still thinking about getting a dog, I recommend going with the German shepherd. We were thinking about that today. Great family dog. Your work on Star wars and as an animated turtle are stellar. Thank you. Thanks for the laughs. My best to the lovely Nia and the kids. And as always, go fuck yourself. You know what? Now that I'm off the Internet, I have time to read about stuff like that. The Enzo Ferrari book is amazing, by the way. What really is amazing is I find with all of these like super successful driven men in history that changed an industry, you know, and become an icon, and it's like they die, but their name never does. You know, there's this theory out there that behind every great man is a great woman. I don't know about that. I feel like behind every great man is a bitter, resentful woman that you didn't spend enough time with. I mean, something, something has to give. Unless you marry a woman as driven as you. Like Bill Clinton did with Hillary. Like she's there for the status. She didn't marry Bill Clinton to go to Brunch. All right, she married him to get into the fucking Illuminati, the Bilderberg Group and all of that. She is like they are two peas in a fucking podcast. But all these other guys, they just always have like some sort of, you know, just awful marriage, failed marriage or whatever. That's what I'm finding with like Enzo Ferrari that he married a cafe singer and sometime prostitute. Hey, the guy liked to have a good time. He liked fast cars and fast women. Just like that guy in, in, in Stripes. Anyway, I always get sad when I read that. Oh, Billy the Romantic. I always want him to have both. Like, you couldn't make a Ferrari and keep your woman happy. Those beautiful cars, convertibles. You couldn't take her for a ride. You know, you're not building the cars, they're down there building them. Take her out to breakfast, make her laugh. Anyway, 43 year old single guy. Hey, Bill, I'm a 43 year old and trying to figure some things out. Hey, dude, I didn't get married till I was 45. He goes, I got divorced about five years ago and then spent a full year completely alone, not even a single date. I don't think that's a bad thing, you know, you were married for five years, you gave yourself 12 months to fucking. You got to remember who you are, you know, There's a lot of fucking shit out there about women losing themselves in relationships and coming out and having to, you know, get back in touch with themselves, which is 100% true. But that's a two way street. It happens both people. If you're in a relationship that doesn't work out, both of you guys got your head spun around one way or the other. So I recommend being alone like that. That's good. The person goes on to say, after that, I wound up in a really toxic relationship that dragged on for almost two years. All right, now you got, you got to start looking in the mirror there. Maybe go to therapy, figure out what you're doing here. Said, I've been out of that for about a year now and I haven't been with anyone since being trying to put the work in on myself. I go to a boxing gym about four days a week, drop 20 pounds. I like this. Seeing a counselor twice a month. There you go. Dude, I could take some advice from you. I need to do that. And I've got a really good job where I supervise about 25 people on a plumbing and welding crew. I also play and write the music in a metal band. I'm sorry, dude. Are you living the fucking dream right now? You got a great job, you're boxing. You drop 20 pounds, you're talking to somebody to work on yourself. And you write music and play in a metal band, dude. Like, it's just like he said. Think Lamb of God, Pantera, and. I don't know this band. Amon Amarth. I'm going to check them out. If they're in the vein of Lamb of God and Pantera, Chris Adler, Vinnie Paul, Art Cruz, now with Lamb of God. See, I know them all, man. But here's the thing. I've never felt more depressed in my life. Yeah. You know why, dude? Because you're still a human being. You need to find love. That's all right. That's all right. You know, it's good that you know that. He said, most days, I'm just going through the motions and putting on a fake Persona to get through the day. But when I'm home, the feeling of desperation and loneliness is almost too much. I've got people you could technically call friends, but I never hang out with them. Well, why don't you hang? I'm terribly introverted and deal with pretty severe social anxiety. All right, well, this is good. You're talking to a counselor, and why don't you do this? Why don't you start with just one hang a month? One day a month? I love that you have all of this anxiety, but you're playing in a band. I mean, this is. This is very typical of, you know, people that perform. I still have a lot of social anxiety, and I go to events and just, you know, I want to, you know, air quote, want to get the. Out of there. The reality is I don't know how to, like, do it. So I get in my head, and then I'm just, you know, I'm a mess. So I relate to that. This person goes on to say, I've been listening to your podcast for years, and I'm looking for some advice. What would you tell a guy who's done all this work on the outside but still feels like he's barely holding it together on the inside? Appreciate your time and thanks for all the laughs. Go fuck yourself, dude. I think you're doing amazing. I was going to say, to talk to a professional. It seems like you're doing that maybe, you know, just. I would be if you want to grow. This is just my opinion, and I'm not a professional, obviously. I have found that you have to give yourself permission to fail, so you have this anxiety. I would just you know, once a month, once a week, whatever you can handle. Like, I am going, like I literally, back in the day I used to say to myself, I am going to go into the deli and I am going to make small talk with the person behind the register. And by small talk, all it literally was, was just saying, hey, how are you? You know, and they would say good or whatever. And if they said, you know, if I said, hey, how's it going? And they said good. And then if they said something back, yeah, yeah, I'm doing good. You? Yeah, I'm fine. I would count that and that would be a victory. And then like I would just use that to just expand exposure. The same thing. Like you got a band, right? And let's say that you're selling tickets in the town that you're in, but the next town over, they don't know you. So that's the next step. Let's be known in two towns and then three towns and then in this county and then in this city and then in this state. And that's how you do it. I mean, obviously you don't have to be that big with your social life, so you just sort of baby steps your way out of this stuff. And you know, I actually think that the anxiety and all of that, a lot of times that's what steers you in to performing, being in a band, being a comedian, being an actor or whatever. Given tours of your city and you're the person on the microphone, like it's, it's like human beings need some sort of interaction, human interaction. So it's actually a positive thing that you're depressed. If you weren't depressed and you were spending this amount of time alone, you might be a psycho. So the fact that you're depressed, this is all, you know, I think normal and your, your soul telling you that this person by yourself is not who you are. You're actually a really social person and you're actually going to be good at it. It's just whatever happened to you as a kid, which you'll work out through counseling, you just need to push through it. And I found with therapy that there's a lot of shit in your head that you think it's a mountain because it happened to you when you were a little kid, so your universe was really small. So these problems seem gigantic. And by the time you're an adult, it's, it's, it really ends up just stepping up onto, onto a curb. And I still to this day, I will make a mountain out of a molehill. I get all in my head that these. These. These ideas, these things. I just. I make rules in my head that I can't do that I can't do it. I can't do it. And I have worked really hard to push that voice down, to tell it to shut the fuck up, you know, anything I could do, like, if I would think something, I would. You know, I read things to cancel it out loud, you know, which was a weird period in my life because I would be walking down the street next to people, and all of a sudden, randomly, I would just say out loud, no, fuck that. So you're not alone, dude. I am in a lot of ways still where you're at, and. And it's caused, like, problems in my relationship because my wife is very social, and she sees who I really am at home. And then I go out and I. I pull back or I get negative and I start trash, and I go to my safe space, you know, and I start trashing wherever we go, and it ruins her good time. And then she gets mad at me, and then I get mad bubble, and it just becomes this fucking nightmare. So I've really had to work on being like, take a deep breath, you know, no one's gonna beat the fuck out of you. No one's gonna hurt you. Nothing bad's gonna happen. You're literally just going out to dinner. Like, I've literally had to do that. So, you know, if I can do it, so can you. I think you're doing the right thing. You're putting the work in, and you're gonna get on the other side of it. And then one day, like, I'm trying to help you, you're gonna try to help somebody else, and that's. That's how it works, okay? So, you know, good luck to you. I think you could do it. And I'm really psyched that you play in a fucking metal band. I think that's cool as shit. You actually write in the music. That's pretty awesome. All right, there you go. That's my positive words for the week. That is the podcast for this week. Enjoy Monday Night Football tonight. Whatever you like doing. I'm telling you, man. How about you just start. You have your phone upstairs, and you go downstairs, and you just leave it up there for a few hours. You know what's exciting as you come up to it? How many text messages did I get? Instead of having to respond to them, and then you can just knock them all out, and I don't know maybe go play with your kid or go for a walk. Go play drums, you know, Go in your backyard, lay on your back and look up at the clouds. Something that doesn't involve comments and being judged and anxiety and enjoy the day. That's it. All right? Go yourselves. I'll. What am I going to do? I'll check in on you on Thursday, all right?
Host: Bill Burr
Date: September 22, 2025
Episode Theme:
Bill Burr begins this episode with his classic blend of rants and personal stories, focusing on the aftermath of NFL Sunday, nostalgic takes on sports, skepticism about officiating and conspiracy theories, personal updates on travel and comedy, thoughts on internet addiction, a deep dive into War of the Worlds, performing and drumming, the culture of taping Grateful Dead shows, and the nature of anxiety and self-improvement.
[00:02 – 09:08]
“What? You gonna yell at him because he can’t run yet? You encourage him. Hey! And he falls on his ass. Good job, buddy, good job. The football version of that, which is: ‘You gotta get your fucking heads in the game.’” (Bill Burr, 05:45)
“…if you’re wishing more misery on Jets fans, then I also think that you align with people that work for ICE.” (Bill Burr, 07:45)
[09:09 – 21:45]
“That is the NFL’s version of the baseline…when that guy…was fixing games, he said one of your best friends when you’re fixing a game is the baseline.” (Bill Burr, 13:08)
“Is it the Michael McDonald? He came from somewhere back in the long ago called a flea flicker.” (Bill Burr, 19:40)
[21:46 – 27:30]
[27:31 – 35:10]
“The Internet is not fucking real…you go into a library…and the library has shit divided into fiction and nonfiction. You go on the Internet and there’s only one category: nonfiction.” (Bill Burr, 32:20)
[35:11 – 41:30]
[44:11 – 50:36]
“My whole…not my whole life, since I was in college over 30 years ago…I had a professor that went along with what they saw and told this to my class. Turns out, it was completely false. That is wild.” (Bill Burr, 49:20)
[51:20 – 01:03:45]
“That guy’s the best…every time I watch the Chris Farley song, I get choked up.” (Bill Burr, 01:01:25)
[01:03:46 – 01:09:14]
[01:09:15 – 01:17:30]
“This conversation right here makes me miss day drinking. Because this is the kind of shit you’d walk into if you just could get that quiet guy at the end of the bar to open up.” (Bill Burr, 01:12:30)
[01:17:31 – 01:25:57]
“I found with therapy that there’s a lot of shit in your head that you think is a mountain because it happened to you as a kid…by the time you’re an adult, it really just ends up stepping up onto a curb.” (Bill Burr, 01:21:50)
“They should have beat the Steelers today. They just don’t know how to do it yet. You know, it’s like watching your kid learn how to walk...” (05:28)
“You go into a library…it’s divided into fiction and nonfiction. You go on the Internet and there’s only one category: nonfiction. Everybody is spinning it. I’m telling you the truth. And I gotta be honest, I can’t fucking…handle it anymore.” (32:20)
“Turns out, it was completely false. That is wild. But when you break down the reasons for it, it totally makes sense and, you know, is really relevant to today.” (49:26)
“If you weren’t depressed and you were spending this amount of time alone, you might be a psycho. So the fact that you’re depressed, this is all...I think normal and your…soul telling you that this person by yourself is not who you are.” (01:20:55)
“That’s the second time I’ve seen [Adam Sandler] do the Chris Farley song. I don’t know how he gets through it. I get choked up every time.” (01:01:25)
Throughout the episode, Bill blends humor, cynicism, bemusement, and empathy in his ranting, storytelling, and listener interactions. He’s quick to admit mistakes, laugh at himself, and find the comic angle in the everyday—always maintaining the tone that regular listeners expect.
This episode offers a rich mix of sharp sports takes, self-aware rants on modern life, honest reflections on personal struggles, and thoughtful responses to listeners, all delivered in Bill Burr’s signature voice. Whether he’s dissecting the NFL, debunking radio legends, or giving heartfelt advice on loneliness, there’s substance, wit, and a genuine desire to connect behind every punchline.