Squats, Driverless Cars, Toothpaste Delivery | Monday Morning Podcast 8-11-25

Summary

Monday Morning Podcast – Episode: Squats, Driverless Cars, Toothpaste Delivery | 8-11-25

Hosted by All Things Comedy

In this episode of the Monday Morning Podcast, Bill Burr dives into a whirlwind of topics ranging from everyday frustrations with technology to broader societal observations. Engaging and candid, Burr’s conversations with an Unknown Comedian provide a humorous yet insightful take on modern life’s challenges.

---

1. Daily Struggles and Technology Frustrations

The episode kicks off with Burr and his co-host expressing their shared stress over mundane technological failures. A significant part of their conversation revolves around a malfunctioning automatic door lock.

• [00:23] Unknown Comedian: "Oh, man, I'm all fucking stressed the fuck out."
• [10:15] Unknown Comedian: "Thinking it's one of those Frisbee type batteries..."

Burr describes the frustrating experience of searching for the right battery in a cluttered garage. The duo humorously laments the disorganization of household essentials, highlighting the universal struggle of locating misplaced items.

2. Social Media Addiction and Phone Usage

Transitioning from battery woes, the discussion shifts to the pervasive nature of phone addiction. They humorously criticize individuals who are engrossed in their phones to the detriment of real-life interactions.

• [00:53] Unknown Comedian: "She's talking full volume on her phone..."
• [06:25] Bill Burr: "As I'm on my phone, judging them."

Burr reflects on his attempt to reduce phone usage by reading, yet finds himself caught in the same cycle of digital dependency, illustrating the irony of modern self-improvement efforts.

3. Physical Fitness and Aging

A significant portion of the podcast delves into the physical decline associated with aging. Burr and his co-host discuss lost athleticism, exaggeratedly critiquing middle-aged attempts at gymnastics and backbends.

• [01:21] Unknown Comedian: "Get out of here. Eight hours."
• [04:58] Unknown Comedian: "You averaged eight hours a day on your phone."

They humorously mock how middle-aged men, or "dad bods," try to maintain fitness through unrealistic exercises, often resulting in comical failures and flabby arms.

4. Misrepresentation of Podcast Content

Burr voices his frustration over how podcast clips are often misleadingly edited for clicks, distorting the original message.

• [03:45] Unknown Comedian: "Now it's become all fucking convoluted."
• [04:02] Bill Burr: "They just change what you're saying because they want to get clicks."

This segment underscores the challenges content creators face in maintaining authenticity amidst rampant online misinformation.

5. Generational Conflicts

The conversation takes a critical turn towards generational divides, particularly focusing on how older generations blame younger ones for societal issues.

• [08:26] Unknown Comedian: "Generation Alpha is the greatest name for a generation."
• [08:44] Unknown Comedian: "What are you bitching about?"

Burr and his co-host discuss the irony of Baby Boomers criticizing Millennials and Generation Z, emphasizing that these younger generations are products of the societies the older ones cultivated.

6. Movie Reviews and Cultural References

Burr and his co-host venture into movie critiques, particularly focusing on the "Bad Guys" franchise. They brainstorm potential plots for future sequels, reflecting on character development and narrative arcs.

• [17:05] Bill Burr: "Spoiler alert."
• [17:29] Bill Burr: "What's the third one is they go legit."

Additionally, they reminisce about live music experiences, sharing anecdotes about drumming in parking lots and attending Primus concerts, highlighting the enduring appeal of live performances.

7. Amazon and Retail Changes

A substantial part of the discussion centers on the impact of Amazon on traditional retail, particularly the inconvenience of same-day delivery services clashing with everyday needs.

• [33:47] Bill Burr: "Have you noticed all these fucking Duane reads are closing?"
• [47:30] Unknown Comedian: "Fucking store and go buy some overpriced disposable razor blades."

They humorously lament the decline of local stores, portraying Amazon’s dominance as both a convenience and a source of frustration when essential items like toothpaste become exclusively available through online deliveries.

8. Concerns about Driverless Cars and AI

Burr expresses apprehensions about the rise of driverless cars and artificial intelligence, fearing a loss of personal freedom and increased government control.

• [41:29] Unknown Comedian: "I've seen like nine of those driverless fucking cars."
• [43:00] Bill Burr: "Pretty soon you won't even have the option of running away from the cops."

This segment delves into dystopian visions where AI-driven vehicles restrict individual autonomy, portraying a future where technology oversteps into personal liberties.

9. Listener Letters and Personal Stories

Engaging with listener contributions, Burr shares a gripping story from a pilot who narrowly avoided a mid-air collision.

• [49:56] Bill Burr: "Jesus Christ. That's still terrifying."
• [50:30] Unknown Comedian: "Wow."

Additionally, they address a poignant letter about discovering that one’s father isn’t biologically related, discussing the emotional turmoil and familial implications with characteristic humor and sensitivity.

10. Reflections on Fitness Trends and Gym Culture

Wrapping up, Burr and his co-host reflect on past fitness trends, particularly the exaggerated muscle culture of the 70s and 80s.

• [24:10] Bill Burr: "That's all it was."
• [25:23] Bill Burr: "But you know, in defense of my generation, like, weightlifting was really new back then."

They nostalgically compare vintage gym routines to contemporary standards, highlighting the evolution of fitness culture over the decades.

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Notable Quotes:

• Bill Burr [04:58]: "I didn't mean it that way."
• Unknown Comedian [17:38]: "The third one is they go legit."
• Bill Burr [43:19]: "And the way they're delivering it. Fuck you. Go fuck yourself."

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Conclusion

This episode of the Monday Morning Podcast encapsulates Bill Burr’s signature blend of humor and critical observation. From the trivial annoyances of daily life to profound societal critiques, Burr and his co-host navigate a diverse array of topics with sharp wit and relatable commentary. Whether discussing the pitfalls of modern technology, the nuances of generational conflicts, or the evolution of fitness culture, the podcast offers listeners a candid and entertaining exploration of contemporary issues.

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Note: This summary is based on a fictional transcript and is intended to reflect the style and content as per the provided information.

Transcript

[Bill Burr]

Hey, what's going on? It's Bill Burr. It's time for the Monday Morning podcast for Monday, August 11, 2025. What's going on? How are ya? How's things going out your way? Jeez. Are they going well there?

[Unknown Comedian]

Oh, man, I'm all fucking stressed the fuck out.

[Bill Burr]

I am so goddamn stressed out, I can't figure out why. Had a nice day? Well, you know, be honest, I don't.

[Unknown Comedian]

Know what it was like today. Today was just one of those fucking days.

[Bill Burr]

You know, I had this thing, you know, the open the door automatic lock thing, and.

[Unknown Comedian]

And it wasn't working. And I was like, oh. You know, judging by the shape of this thing, this has one of those Frisbee type batteries. We got those. We got those out in the goddamn garage.

[Bill Burr]

We can do that. You know, we have it so.

[Unknown Comedian]

Jesus fucking Christ. This lady just walked by. By the way she walks by. She's walking her dogs and she's like talking full volume on her phone, you know, like the level that everybody is addicted to their phones. I'm talking about myself too. I kind of got back into reading so I could kind of curb it. Like, if you ever take a peek.

[Bill Burr]

You averaged eight hours.

[Unknown Comedian]

Get the out of here. Eight hours.

[Bill Burr]

Did they count listening to music eight hours.

[Unknown Comedian]

What am I solving the Middle East?

[Bill Burr]

And I'm not. I'm just fucking watching. Trying to do backbends. And they forgot that they haven't done a push up or any gymnastics in 20 years. And then they land on their faces. It's how they don't break their necks is beyond me. It's unreal. And then not then that transitions into dad bought guys for whatever reason, trying to do a cartwheel after, you know, eating mozzarella sticks and potato skins and bacon wrap this and that for 20 years. So they got these big keg of beer torsos and then they just got these, these. You know, the straight arm where you don't see any bicep or tricep? It's like, yeah, that's just a fucking flabby arm. Right? And the same thing happens to them once their body weight gets on their arms, they just collapse onto their face. It's kind of fucking brutal. Anyway, so she's walking up the hill.

[Unknown Comedian]

Running a yap, and I'm like, Jesus.

[Bill Burr]

Fucking Christ, can I record my podcast? I'm literally on my phone gonna get upset with her. It's like, dude, you're on your phone too. So then in my head, I knew I was wrong.

[Unknown Comedian]

So then I had to like clarify it and be like, you know, I had to be like, yeah, what did I say? What the fuck did I say? I said, I said, why the fuck would anybody be. Unless you're in show business, why would you want, like willingly be on your phone? That's what I said. Like, I justified what I was doing because I had the burden of being a fucking, a shit joke telling comedian. You know, there's a lot of times during the day, even without you guys, I say, shut the fuck up, Bill. I think that's a healthy quality. Just shut up.

[Bill Burr]

And with that, I'm gonna do this hour long podcast by myself.

[Unknown Comedian]

This is the only voice you're gonna hear anyway. It used to be so simple. Used to be such a simple thing.

[Bill Burr]

Anyway.

[Unknown Comedian]

Now it's become all fucking convoluted. Yeah, I did a fucking podcast, right? And like, you know, you do these podcasts and then people take clips and then they just name, they rename it.

[Bill Burr]

And they just change what you're saying because they want to get clicks. There was a click on this podcast that I thought I did a good interview. And it says, bill trashes all podcasters or takes down all. But it's like, when the fuck did I. I didn't do that. But that makes people the people I got. I gotta see what they're. That's what it is, what it is. Everybody's click on this. It's a train wreck. You gotta see it. And people click on it. I mean, look at me. I'm watching adults who still think they can do back bends and cartwheels. I'm just watching them falling on the top of their head or on their faces. And then the end of the week, my phone's going. Like, you averaged eight hours a day on your phone. And I'm going, no, I did not. You know, like a narcissist parent. Oh, I never did that. Oh, it was a joke.

[Unknown Comedian]

I didn't mean it that way.

[Bill Burr]

Well, if I didn't. You love that you got that from a narcissist. If I did that, If I did that, if I did that, then I'm sorry. No, there's no if you did that. Well, I don't recall. I don't recall. But you know, but if you're saying you're. I. If you're saying. I am saying it. I am saying you did. Well, okay, okay. All right. Well, you know, if I did that. There's no if. You can't.

[Unknown Comedian]

Anyway, I'll tell you another type of person that's Driving me up the wall is. Is like, yeah, dude. Like, I don't know what happened. I was. I was like, that was. Jesus Christ. These kids tell me they're killing each other next door.

[Bill Burr]

There's just no place to do a. I. This is why people have studios. I have to get a studio. I'm having something done to my drum room right now. People that built it, the idiots, they put air conditioning in it, right? But they don't have an exit vent. So the second you close the door, it, you know, creates like this fucking vacuum or whatever the fuck's going on. And they just saw it goes to a halt like somebody squeezing a hose. So I'm finally getting that repaired.

[Unknown Comedian]

So the next few weeks, or whatever the fuck, I'm. You know how much more shit is back ordered, I'll be in my. My goddamn truck here doing my podcast. As people walk by on their phones.

[Bill Burr]

As I'm on my phone, judging them.

[Unknown Comedian]

For being on their phone too much. That's how I roll. So anyway, I'm looking at this thing, and I'm thinking, this. This car door opener or whatever the it is, and I'm thinking, like, all right, this. This has got to be. Oh, God. I. I can't do this podcast with these kids screaming in the background. Jesus Christ.

[Bill Burr]

You know, the. The exact same sound. Kids playing outside is the exact same sound of an adult woman being murdered. It's the exact same sound. It's unbelievable. Like the. The blood curdling, screaming, and you're just sitting there going like, you guys are playing, right? You're still playing. Everything's good. My keys. I mean, this is the most unprofessional thing you can possibly listening to right now. And you're still listening to it, but I know it's not for the right reasons. I know you laughing. You laugh. You know what I finally learned about my truck? You know these old cars, you always want to give it a couple of punches of gas before you start it up. My truck, for whatever reason, you don't want to do that. You just want to start it up.

[Unknown Comedian]

Start it up dry. Oh, Jesus.

[Bill Burr]

All right, now I'm gonna go down the street a little bit, and then what am I gonna run to? What the Is gonna be going? Everybody's out Sunday night.

[Unknown Comedian]

Everybody's fucking walking around walking their goddamn dogs. These fucking people with these dogs. They're wolves, all right? It's not a dog. It's not a dog. It's a gay wolf. That's what it is.

[Bill Burr]

It stays inside. It's transitioned from a wolf to. What's the generation we're all supposed to be making fun of now?

[Unknown Comedian]

What's the latest generation that everybody's blaming?

[Bill Burr]

There's nothing better than when like 40 and 50 year olds are blaming the.

[Unknown Comedian]

Generation that they raised. Like, how funny is that? You know, the amount of fucking baby.

[Bill Burr]

Boomers that like trash millennials, they can't fucking do anything. Well, you fucking raised them.

[Unknown Comedian]

What are you bitching about? You know?

[Bill Burr]

And now my generation is bitching. I don't. What the fuck? I can't keep up with this.

[Unknown Comedian]

Y Z. Generation Y. Generation Z. And now I think it's Generation Alpha, which I'm gonna. I'm gonna go right now and just say, that's the greatest name for a generation, Generation Alpha, as opposed to like the greatest generation, you know, which I think, you know.

[Bill Burr]

Like, did Tom Broka coin that phrase? Did they call him something else before that? There's no way when they were born.

[Unknown Comedian]

They just said, this is the greatest generation. And then they said, that's the greatest generation.

[Bill Burr]

Right?

[Unknown Comedian]

But it still kind of seems like, you know, like a clip of a review for like a bad Hollywood summertime movie, you know, arguably the greatest end.

[Bill Burr]

Of the world summer blockbuster movie of all time.

[Unknown Comedian]

Arguably the greatest generation. I'm gonna get through this fucking story, people.

[Bill Burr]

Oh, oh, oh.

[Unknown Comedian]

I'm gonna get through it.

[Bill Burr]

This is a nice street.

[Unknown Comedian]

It's nice and quiet.

[Bill Burr]

A little too quiet.

[Unknown Comedian]

Somebody's gonna come running out that front door with a gimp outfit on. Oh, Jesus Christ. Anyway, so.

[Bill Burr]

Thinking it's one of those.

[Unknown Comedian]

Frisbee type batteries, right? And of course, I go to open the fucking thing and I open it up and it looks like a AAA battery that's been cut in half. And I'm like, what the fuck is this thing? I don't have that. I don't have that.

[Bill Burr]

I have the double A cut in half looking one.

[Unknown Comedian]

This is a 12 volt. This is a 12 volt battery.

[Bill Burr]

And like an asshole, I'm like, yeah, I'm gonna fish through all of these.

[Unknown Comedian]

Fucking batteries because everybody, you know, with the toys, everybody just fucking the kids, everybody just digs in and rips shit open. So they're all mixed.

[Bill Burr]

Like the batteries are as organized as.

[Unknown Comedian]

The Legos are in my house, right? And so I'm fishing through just like, like laughing to myself going, there's no way I'm gonna find a 12 volt battery. And what do I find at the bottom? I find a 12 volt battery. I'm like, you got to be kidding me. Does it fit? Does it fit? It fits, it fits. And I put it in and I put the thing in and I press the button and I got no light. I'm like, well, maybe, maybe if I screw the thing back together, the contact will be tighter and then it's gonna. I screwed the whole thing back together. And then not was just like, of course, of course. This is worse than not having a 12 volt battery, actually having one and going through the excitement of like, yeah, this is something that never works out. It actually worked out. This is fucking amazing. Only, you know, only to have it be like, yeah, it is the right battery, it's the battery you need. But like the battery you just took out, it doesn't work. So I'm like, all right, well, I'm just not going to take this loss sitting down. I'm going to the hardware store. So I go to the hardware store and I am a man on a mission, right? I am buying every squat little fat battery they have. I'm getting some extra double A's, I'm getting some extra AAA's, and guess what, guess what? I'm keeping these for myself. I'm having a little box in the garage just for my batteries, where all the batteries are still in, in, in, like organized, you know, alphabetically. Voltage, whatever the you want to. Like Dewey Decimal, however you want to. They are going to be where I left them. And no duds like, you know, like, who the fuck put that battery back in? You took a new one.

[Bill Burr]

You took out the old one.

[Unknown Comedian]

Did you throw in the trash? No, you put it in the fucking fresh battery box and then you took out that other one and then you went away with your Tyrannosaurus rex or whatever the fuck you did. You, you needed it for, you know.

[Bill Burr]

And who ends up. Who's the patsy, who's the Lee Harvey? Also all this old fucking freckled dad.

[Unknown Comedian]

Comes up, gets excited. Oh, wow, what a great Sunday afternoon.

[Bill Burr]

Who would have thought if you fucking gun to my head I didn't have.

[Unknown Comedian]

A little fucking 12 volt battery. And I did. I just didn't realize it was a fucking dead one. What the hell is that? Guy's flying awfully low. Awfully low.

[Bill Burr]

Fixed wing awfully goddamn low. I'm doing a podcast, brother. Oh, thank you, sir.

[Unknown Comedian]

This fucking neighborhood. Everybody's got to talk to you. Everybody's got to talk to you. I'm an asshole. I should have said hello. I'm such a dick. I'm doing a podcast. Why did I just say that all day today? I said the wrong thing.

[Bill Burr]

I should have just said, hello, I'm doing a podcast. How in the fuck would he know I was doing a pod? Who does a podcast in a fucking truck on the side of the road?

[Unknown Comedian]

Hi.

[Bill Burr]

You know what?

[Unknown Comedian]

Gotta remember that guy's face. And I'll apologize to him. Probably won't want to talk to me. I'll explain myself. Sorry. I was by myself, doing a podcast with no guests, talking to myself about why it's so wrong to put a dead 12 volt battery in the bottom of a plastic bin that was bought at the Container Store. I think we'll understand. Anyway, so I say, fuck this. I go down to the hardware store and I just fucking buy everything. You would have thought a hurricane was coming. I was doing the battery version of when people go down, you know, and they buy out all the fucking food, you know, it's a hurricane. Why are you buying all of this food? You know, it's just gonna get soggy. How long do you think your soggy fucking roast beef is going to be good for? You can eat that shit floating around in the water. If it's really that bad that you have to buy this amount of food and you're just going to have it in a refrigerator that is not waterproof and that water is going to come up, okay, the first thing that's going to happen is your bread is going to float away. All right? It's going to float away and some poor bird is going to eat it. I love when people fucking feed bread to birds. That man made shit that's dyed with bleach. You know what I mean? Bringing them into our world. Big pharmaceutical wants you to do that. Feed human food to the animals and then they'll get sick and then maybe somebody will take that bird to the vet and we will have the pill that keeps it alive just long enough that it can fly to another piece of bread and stay sick. Oh, God, this is getting dark. This is over batteries, Bill. Yeah, so anyway, I was just having one of those days, just not vibing with my fellow man. And I took. Me and my wife took the kids to go see Bad Guys part two. I give it eight and a half out of ten. Two big thumbs up. Fucking cool movie to take your kids to. And I'm the only reason why I'm not, you know, because there's, there's classics out there like Lego Batman, that's a ten for me. But this is eight and a half, dude. This, this Is like, it's right up there. And I. I have the idea already for the third version of bad guys. All right.

[Bill Burr]

Spoiler alert.

[Unknown Comedian]

All right, the first bad guys, they were bad guys.

[Bill Burr]

Spoiler alert, here we go.

[Unknown Comedian]

The second bad guys, I. I eat. Look, I don't want to. Somebody's gonna get pissed if I do this. The second bad guys is. Is.

[Bill Burr]

Is different than the first one in a 180 kind of way. Right? I have the idea for the third one.

[Unknown Comedian]

The third one is they go legit.

[Bill Burr]

How you doing? Hey, what's up, buddy? Cute dog. I'm sorry.

[Unknown Comedian]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Bill Burr]

The little ones are always. They always got something to prove. See that?

[Unknown Comedian]

I can crush the small talk.

[Bill Burr]

I learned from my past mistakes. I turned it on. I turned on. That was. That was. That's the best it gets.

[Unknown Comedian]

That's as deep as the charm is.

[Bill Burr]

Ah, the little ones. She hung around any longer.

[Unknown Comedian]

All I had was the weather. And then I was done.

[Bill Burr]

Part three.

[Unknown Comedian]

They go legit. Too legit to quit. But, you know, they sort of alluded that they. They're like working for like, almost like the Secret Service now. So now they go legit and they feel like they're not bad guys anymore. But then it turns out that they're.

[Bill Burr]

Working for the war machine and the.

[Unknown Comedian]

Banks and the oil companies and all these big corporations. And then they realize, like, wait a minute. They were saying we bad guys. All we were doing were robbing banks.

[Bill Burr]

And then somehow you tie in this.

[Unknown Comedian]

Thing where people are like assassinating CEOs now.

[Bill Burr]

Just stay with me.

[Unknown Comedian]

Just stay with me. I could still do this as you.

[Bill Burr]

Just do it with Meta Force. You know what I mean?

[Unknown Comedian]

You don't actually say it's a CEO, it's a ce.

[Bill Burr]

Oh, no. Or something.

[Unknown Comedian]

Sorry. That was the worst dad joke ever.

[Bill Burr]

You.

[Unknown Comedian]

You work your way around it, right? So these guys, and now they. They think that they're legit. They have all these security clearances and all that. And then the world that they go into where they think like, wow, like we are so. We're such good people now. We're not bad guys anymore. That's not feeling like that's the right name for the movie, but. But they get so fucking enamored with their position that they. They just think they're almost gonna meet like these angelic people. And then what happens is, is they actually find out how the world is run. I want to say that cross dressing guy from the FBI said that one time, said that the common man will never figure out what's going on. And if he actually does, the truth of what's really going on is so fucking overwhelming, they won't be able to handle it.

[Bill Burr]

Can you imagine, like, how you have.

[Unknown Comedian]

To be wired mentally to operate on that level? You know, a buddy of mine gave me this series of comic books that I'm watching that I'm reading Last man or something like that, and it's about, like, I don't know, just one day, all the men on earth die, right? And what's really cool about it is this. This. It's the most accurate thing that I think would happen if all men died. Because there's. For the longest time, feminism has always preached, you know, because, you know, men are in control. We're running shit. We're calling the shots. You know, when it really comes down to foreign policy and the food we eat and all this shit, at the end of the day, you know, you want to find who's running it. There's. There's some swinging dick at the end of that fucking journey, right? So they've always had, like, you know, to push their agenda and, you know, also pump themselves up because we've been calling them who is for so long, dragging around by their hair. They've been pushing this theory that if women ran the world, that there would be peace and all of this stuff and, you know, if there's no mana or anything like that, that there would be, like, this fucking utopia. And this series of comic books basically shows what I think would happen, which is what would happen is the female version of the psychos, men that are running. Like, that's what would take over. Like, being a sociopath, psycho narcissist. That. That's not gender specific. Like, there's plenty of women that. That would, without hesitation, commit unspeakable acts to maintain their position of power if they were running things. Okay, Margaret Thatcher, there's been examples of this throughout history. But what I like about it is it ends up kind.

[Bill Burr]

I'm only like one and a half.

[Unknown Comedian]

Episodes or whatever additions into this thing. But what's amazing about it is the.

[Bill Burr]

World without men seems the same.

[Unknown Comedian]

The way they did it. There's, like, chill, cool people, there's fucking scared people, and then there's extremist psycho groups, and they're all, you know, fighting with each other, trying to get power.

[Bill Burr]

So it's kind of like, you know, all right, this is the. This is the exact same shit. And I think literally, like, that's what would happen. That. That's my.

[Unknown Comedian]

My guess, you Know what I mean? It's my belief or whatever, you know, what are your feelings of someone who just wears a tank top, whether they work out or not?

[Bill Burr]

What.

[Unknown Comedian]

What are your feelings on that? You know, if it's comfortable, you're not hurting anybody. You know, I always wondered about that. Like, I always felt like, you know, being a child from the 70s and 80s, if you had a tank top on, you had to be fucking. You had to be jacked. You know, that's. I mean, that was the deal. You had to be jacked. And then you had to have big puffy pants because you never. You didn't do legs. You know what the squat rack was for in the 80s? That was to hang up your fanny pack.

[Bill Burr]

That's all it was.

[Unknown Comedian]

Very few people, very few people getting everyone's. There was always like one or two guys that really did it and were proportioned, and when they were coming to the gym, everybody was just, look. You know, you felt. You felt the shame of the toothpicks. You know, I never forget. I remember one time there was somebody I worked with, and this dude was just huge. And I was like, wow, man, I would not want to with that guy. And then we had the company picnic and he had on like these Larry Bird short shorts because it was the 80s, and I swear to God, like, he had the. He looked like a roided up chicken. Like a pigeon or something. I couldn't believe it. I'm like, that guy, like, he's. Remember those guys, you know, Chest and buys back and tries. He just did that on a loop. He just did that on a fucking loop. And like, his. His leg exercises was. Was getting up and down from the bench after bench pressing.

[Bill Burr]

But you know, in defense of my generation, like, weightlifting was really new back then.

[Unknown Comedian]

Like, people didn't know any better.

[Bill Burr]

You know, even if you were doing.

[Unknown Comedian]

Your legs, like, there wasn't like this balanced attack that people talk about now where, you know, you can't just keep.

[Bill Burr]

Doing, you know, the shit that you see. You know, your back needs to be strong too.

[Unknown Comedian]

You're gonna. Your shoulders are gonna bow forward or.

[Bill Burr]

It'Ll be, you know, get yanked up or whatever.

[Unknown Comedian]

I don't know what. You're gonna have rotator cuff issues like I ended up having anyway, so. Yeah, so I just had. I had just a day today where I just wasn't. I wasn't vibing with people. But you know what? I didn't get mad. I just kind of was like, you know what? I need to meditate. I got to do something. Because this is definitely. It's definitely me. It's definitely something going on with me. Speaking of me, the Red Sox lost the last two. I don't know if they lost three. I got a little busy, so I wasn't able to. I wasn't able to watch the last couple games, but I ended up playing drums. Thursday night I had one of my favorite drumming things I ever did. A buddy of mine has this consulting job with this music chain. I always get weird about talking about people names and fucking where they work, whatever. Long story short, I'm playing drums in a parking lot in Thousand Oaks, California, behind a brewery. All right. And it's like. It was. The vibe was just awesome. It was. It just reminded me of when I used to play back in the 80s where it was just a bunch of people getting together, playing because they love to play. And it was like. But this was like, you know, moms and dads getting up there, rocking out and pulling off or making mistakes and laughing and just keep going. Just. It was just fun. And the two drummers that were on before me were great. And the first was a woman and she played left handed. I didn't get a chance to talk to her because there's so much commotion and she was so cool. Like, she was just really like, just solid. Cuz it was a lot of like. I mean, I don't think a lot of these people were like bands. I think it was just like a bunch of people got together and jammed. So this was sort of like their first gig. So a lot of shit can go wrong and she was just, you know, that rock for them to stand on. And she played left handed. So when her set was done, what I thought was so cool was she immediately jumped up and helped the next drummer switch it back around to right handed. And then he played like open handed. So he had his ride symbol on the right hand side next to the hi hat or whatever. But she was just like all about it. Like all about it.

[Bill Burr]

Maybe that's. That has something to do with being.

[Unknown Comedian]

Like a fucking left handed drummer on like a jam night. You're like, all right, I'm the pain in the ass, so I'm gonna try to be as less of a pain in the ass as possible. Oh my God. You know what that fucking reminds me of? This is such a weird way to go. When I was in. When I was in Boston, right, way back in the day doing stand up, there was this comedian in a wheelchair and a lot of the places didn't have you know, a ramp to get him up on stage. So they would do, like, the intro, and then me and, like, or whatever, two, three other guys would fucking pick him up. He had one of those old school fucking Ironside fucking wheelchairs. So I remember one time. What's his face? Patrice is. Somebody just walked by listening to a podcast. Patrice was there, and nobody wanted to say anything. Nobody wanted to talk about. The fuck is she listening to To. She's listening to, like, propaganda in another language. That's crazy. Speaking of that, I saw a billboard out here for Tony Robbins speaking live, and you see the look on his face. He's like, dude, that guy's the funniest. He, like, screams at people and insults them. Like, trying to, like, you know, you.

[Bill Burr]

Got to get your. Together. Do you feel better about yourself? You. It's just like how.

[Unknown Comedian]

Like, you just look at that shit. Like, that's how it was done.

[Bill Burr]

Like, you get so abused as a person that, like, even when you're trying to help people, you, like, abuse them.

[Unknown Comedian]

Anyway. What the fuck was I talking about? Oh, yeah. So we're lifting this dude up, and we get him on stage or whatever.

[Bill Burr]

And.

[Unknown Comedian]

You know, we're all going back to the goddamn room, going, you know, in the back of the room, because it was like a high stage. Like, Jesus fucking Christ, I almost threw my back out. You know, it's a wheelchair and an adult.

[Bill Burr]

And I remember Patrice, like, bitching, going, you know, about the guy who was in the wheelchair. He goes. And he doesn't even do anything to try to make himself lighter. It's like. Like, what's he supposed to be doing? But that's how it worked back then. It wasn't that the club didn't have a ramp and for whatever reason, had a stage that didn't need to be that high. It wasn't that. That wasn't the problem. That was. The problem was the paralyzed person in the wheelchair didn't make themselves light. That's how we looked at back then.

[Unknown Comedian]

I got a good one for you. I got a buddy back east, right? I called him up, and he told me he was working out again. And I was like, oh, yeah.

[Bill Burr]

Oh, that's great.

[Unknown Comedian]

And I thought he was, you know, trying to get in shape as he's getting older. And he told me, he goes, nah. He goes, me and my son got into it the other day, and he, like, fucking threw me down on the.

[Bill Burr]

Ground so he was lifting weights so his son couldn't beat him up. And it's just like, well, why don't you work on the relationship? And he goes, no, no, I know.

[Unknown Comedian]

I know, I know. I know.

[Bill Burr]

We're gonna work on it.

[Unknown Comedian]

But, you know, like, I don't. You know, I also don't. You know, it's embarrassing. Like, my wife was there. That's what. That's what he said to me. This guy's just fucking walking up the middle of the street. So anyway, hey, how you doing? How are you? Jesus Christ. He looked like he had the weight of the world on his shoulders. And then when I said hello to him, he just lit up, smiled and waved, and didn't say anything. This is funny. Sunday night, it's like old people like, going for a walk out here. It's kind of cool. Just going for a walk. Wonder what goes through your head at that age when you go for a walk. You got to be thinking, like, is this one it? And this is the last one I got, dude. I'll tell you what. That would be a great movie. Just. Just a. An old guy going for a walk, and he's walking down the street and everybody's looking at him or whatever. And then in. In his head, you get to see the movie of what the fuck he's reliving from way back in the day. It's a nice guy. Freaked me out a little. He's a fucking nice guy, all right. I think I babbled enough. Well, Billy the Babbler, let's fucking do.

[Bill Burr]

A little reads here, all right? Bill, you don't gotta swear about it, do you?

[Unknown Comedian]

Red Sox lost 6 to 2 to the San Diego Padres. Jesus Christ. The fucking National League West. Our make a wish division.

[Bill Burr]

Could we send more fucking talent out there?

[Unknown Comedian]

Although that Xander Bogarts thing, you know, I guess that was free agent. See? Blah. Smokey Wilson. We could assign those guys if we wanted to. All right, let's get into the. Let's get into the reads Here for the week. Oh, Squarespace.

[Bill Burr]

This podcast is sponsored by Squarespace. Squarespace is the all in one website platform designed to help you stand out and succeed online. That's where the whole world is going online. Have you noticed all these fucking Duane reads are closing? Jesus Christ. You're gonna. A robot's gonna be delivering your toothpaste. I can't even go down there and buy some overpriced disposable razor blades.

[Unknown Comedian]

Nothing.

[Bill Burr]

Dodging homeless people trying to fucking steal deodorant. I mean, what are we gonna do without these chain pharmacies? Whether you're just starting out or scaling your business Squarespace gives you everything you need to claim your domain. Showcase your offerings with a professional website, Grow your brand and get paid all in one place. Squarespace gives you everything you need to offer services and get paid all in one place. From consultations to events and experiences. Showcase your offerings with a customizable website designed to attract clients and grow your business. Get paid on time with professional on brand invoices and online payments. Plus streamline your workflow with built in appointment scheduling and email marketing tools. Get discovered fast with integrated Squarespace SEO tools. Every website is optimized to be indexed with meta descriptions, an auto generated sitemap and more so you show up more often on your search engines and bring in more of your ideal customers. Make smart business decisions with Squarespace. Intuitive built in analytic tools. Review website traffic Learn where to focus engagement. Track revenue from bookings, invoices or product sales. All from one place. Head to squarespace.com I don't know what it says your unique URL for a free trial when you use the offer code when you're ready to launch, use the offer code burr B U R r to save 10% off your first purchase or domain. Okay, so it's squarespace.com burr for a free trial when you're ready to launch, use offer code BRRRR to save 10% off your first purchase of website or domain. Simply Safe what does feeling safe at home really mean to you? For a long time I thought it was enough to have a good good locks and maybe an alarm or a rescue pit bull, whatever you had that would, you know, make a lot of noise if someone actually broke in. But after a couple of lawsuits I realized that I needed cameras.

[Unknown Comedian]

No.

[Bill Burr]

But after people close to me were bro realize that true security takes more a system that works to prevent that break in, that violation of your space from ever happening in the first place. That's why I trust simply safe to protect my home and family. It's about security that is proactive. I brought my glasses.

[Unknown Comedian]

Why don't I wear them?

[Bill Burr]

I brought my glasses. Oh, there it is. Most security systems only take action after someone breaks in. That's too late. Simplisafe's new active Guard outdoor protection helps stop break inside before they happen. AI powered cameras and live monitoring agents detect suspicious activity around your property. If someone's lurking, get the fuck out of here. Agents talk to them in real time. I said get out of here. Turn on spotlights and can call the police proactively deterring crime before it starts. No contracts, no hidden fees, name Best home security system of 2025 by CNET. 4 million plus Americans trust SimpliSafe. Ranked number one in customer service by Newsweek and USA Today. Monitoring plans start around dollar a day, 60 day money back guarantee. Visit simplisafe.com brrrr to claim 50% off a new system with a professional monitoring plan and get your first month for free. That's simplisafe.com brrrr there's no safe like Simplisafe.

[Unknown Comedian]

Okay, here we go.

[Bill Burr]

Primus movie. Oh, you know, I never finished telling the stories of being in that parking lot.

[Unknown Comedian]

So then we, we ended up. Me and my buddy went up for the last song of the last group. They were doing all Zeppelin things, so we did Black Dog and I just had a blast. Everyone was playing great, you know, I made some mistakes, you know, whatever.

[Bill Burr]

Just had a, you know. The whole fucking reason why you start.

[Unknown Comedian]

Playing music was just to have a good time and meet other cool people and it was just. It was an awesome time.

[Bill Burr]

All right. Primus movie.

[Unknown Comedian]

Oh, this is a great one.

[Bill Burr]

Dear Billy.

[Unknown Comedian]

Cinnamon tits.

[Bill Burr]

What does that even mean? Cinnamon is brown. I'm as fucking white as.

[Unknown Comedian]

That's still funny though.

[Bill Burr]

Cinnamon tits. Is that like sweet tits? Congrats on playing with Primus. That's a dream come true.

[Unknown Comedian]

Yeah, that was unbelievable.

[Bill Burr]

That was unfucking believable.

[Unknown Comedian]

Yeah, I still. Yeah, when they started playing, I was just like. I remember being in the basement. My brother had the boombox and he goes, dude, listen to this shit he put on. Sailing the seas of cheese and fucking all these years. I just can't. Yeah, it was, it was beyond. It was fucking beyond. Still have not come down.

[Bill Burr]

Anyway, I've been a fan since high school and have seen them about a dozen times. I saw them earlier this year in Austin and there was an actual mosh pit. It was a bunch of 40 year olds moshing. So it was fairly tame. We all have jobs and families, so can't go too hard. But it made me feel like I was in my 20s again.

[Unknown Comedian]

That's awesome.

[Bill Burr]

Not sure if you've seen it, but Les Claypool made a Spinal Tap like mockumentary called Electric Apricot. Quest for Festaroo. It follows the fictional jam band Electric Apricot as they record their first album and try to get into the Jam Band festival called Fester Roo.

[Unknown Comedian]

I have to see this.

[Bill Burr]

He's made a few movies that I've watched. That guy is like, he's beyond a genius. He's like a genius in like Three different, like his comedy, the movies, like the way they're shot, these little films that he makes. And obviously his bass playing and just everything he does.

[Unknown Comedian]

He's like, he's an across the board, incredible, incredible creative force. And he's the most humble, nice guy you're ever gonna meet.

[Bill Burr]

Anyway, the songs they wrote from the movie are really good too. Les plays the drummer named Lapdog and it's fucking hilarious. It's in my top three favorite movies of all time. I'll tell anyone about it that I think it would enjoy it. So wouldn't.

[Unknown Comedian]

Would enjoy it.

[Bill Burr]

So wanted to pass it along to you. You'll definitely get some good laughs.

[Unknown Comedian]

I believe it's on Amazon to stream. All right, I'll check that out. All right.

[Bill Burr]

All right. Amazon guy's wedding.

[Unknown Comedian]

Oh, it's all Amazon this week.

[Bill Burr]

Hey, Billy, same day delivery. Oh, I did that thing where I.

[Unknown Comedian]

Made it go up to the top.

[Bill Burr]

And the old me used to get frustrated and scream and yell, but not now. All right, Keeping it together. Amazon guy's wedding. Hey, Billy, same dame delivery. I work with some folks who have the same attitude towards Bezos as you. I share it as well to an extent, because I grew up working in my uncle's general store. I hate that corporatism has done to us. But my bigger problem is this. Oh, dude, my fucking thing right now.

[Unknown Comedian]

Is when I was going to the movies, I must have saw like nine of those driverless fucking cars. And it's just like people are so fucking stupid. It's like, don't you see where the herd is gonna go?

[Bill Burr]

Pretty soon you won't even have the option of running away from the cops, you know, and everybody. Well, why would you want to run away from the cops? Because you need the option. You always have to have. The option is if authority gets out of control to be able to fucking organize some sort of fight back, this is what's gonna happen. They're gonna start showing people fucking sleeping on the way to work as these fucking cars drive you and just show you how goddamn convenient it is. And you're gonna turn in your the car that you drive, the one that you could fucking decide where it goes rather than them. Because I'm telling you right now, you're gonna fucking get one of those cars. And in the near future when they.

[Unknown Comedian]

You know, just, just they'll have all.

[Bill Burr]

Of these stats yous know, they're already putting out stats like fucking like, you know, Uber. Every two seconds somebody gets finger banged in the back of their fuck well, that's a fucking Uber problem. Why don't you. Why don't you. You screen who the hell you're giving a fucking license to their taxi cabs forever. Nobody had that. You had the plastic partition. All they could do is yell how they wanted to sexually assault you. They couldn't do it.

[Unknown Comedian]

All right, whatever.

[Bill Burr]

I'm just saying, one of these days you're gonna get one of those fucking cars and you're gonna have said the wrong thing on a podcast or whatever, and you think you're going left, you know, going to your favorite breakfast spot and all of a sudden you date. The thing takes you, right, to go to some re education.

[Unknown Comedian]

Camp. They're so dumb. They're so that they're keeping you dumb.

[Bill Burr]

And they're pumping you full of sugar.

[Unknown Comedian]

And they're getting rid of books and all of this stuff and they don't want you to know about anything. And they get. You hate states and hate brown people and all of this, and you just keep getting dumber and dumber. And you know why? That's why the world makes sense to you. That's why it's so easily fixed. Because you don't know anything about it. That's why. That's why it seems so simple.

[Bill Burr]

Because they've made. They've gone out of their way to make you fucking stupid. And you are stupid. You're so stupid, you don't know you're fucking dumb.

[Unknown Comedian]

That's what it is.

[Bill Burr]

That's all of those fucking people that. Yeah, what do we need, more satellites flying around the fucking world?

[Unknown Comedian]

The amount of people that drive drunk, they're gonna do all of that shit. That and like. And act like they actually.

[Bill Burr]

The same people that look the other fucking way and let these people give you poison food to your own fucking baby are gonna act like they're worried about your safety behind the wheel. They are. They're worried about your freedom and your ability to run from them when whatever the fuck they have planned with this AI robot shit. All right, you can say I'm fucking crazy. You can say that I'm just a crazy bald ginger in an old fucking pickup truck doing a podcast by himself on the side of the road. I, you know, guilty as charged. But I think there's some truth in some of that. Anyway, plowing ahead, plowing ahead, moving ahead. Anyway, first off, the people at work who are a. Paul. Okay, My bigger problem is this. This is a person. By talking about corporations, first of all, the people at work. Oh, by the way, I ran into Somebody that works at Phil's Coffee. They said that it was common stock and that they are, they're allowed to.

[Unknown Comedian]

Take it away from their employees. But who the fuck does that?

[Bill Burr]

They're still cunts. And there's no fill with a Z. There's another. There's another fucking coffee out there.

[Unknown Comedian]

The same fucking thing. Ted's coffee, Tom's coffee. Fuck you. Where is he? How come he doesn't have a last name?

[Bill Burr]

First off, the people at work who were appalled at the elaborate wedding all use Amazon. That's true. I'm going to watch that movie. I repeat, they all use Amazon. One of these bitches actually has our place of work as an address and has had personal items for home sent there so they don't have to stop on the way home to get something like toothpaste. Same day delivery. So for real, shut the fuck up if you're going to order toothpaste to the office. Well, I, I don't 100% agree with that. Okay, this person, you know, you can run a place like Amazon and still not be a cunt, right? Can't you do that? It always comes back to, what about this guy? You know what I mean? Like, this is like shifting the focus. It's like these billionaires move the herd. They move the herd. Like nobody wants any of these fucking robots, you know? We're all going to be interacting with them soon. I don't know. But there's always this person, okay? It'd be like complaining about a local crime lord, but also buying drugs from his guy on the corner and never calling the cops. By the way, this is real to me. I grew up in a rough neighborhood and I watched people lose their family members to drugs supplied by their old friends from high school. And they'd still be friendly with them either out of stupidity or fear. In the case of Amazon, how can anyone be surprised that he can afford to shut down a block in a legendary city when everyone is on the delivery tit? Yeah, you know, you are right. These people literally help pay for the fucking wedding. I think someone may have complained about this before, but it needs to be said over and over again to everyone who ever complains about a company they support regularly. Go fuck yourselves. Well, you can't come at people like that. You can't say, go fuck yourselves, because they're just gonna tune it out and say, fuck you too. But you are right. You are right. I try as much as I can to not use these fucking things I'm trying to find. Like I Need razor blades right now. And I refuse to order them on any site. I just want to go to a.

[Unknown Comedian]

Fucking store and go in and buy them and they're just closing them up everywhere.

[Bill Burr]

I don't know.

[Unknown Comedian]

I don't know what to tell you, but yeah, you should.

[Bill Burr]

This person's right, the way they're delivering it. Fuck you. Go fuck yourself. That's.

[Unknown Comedian]

That never works. No one's ever gonna listen to your opinion. I mean, I am the king of that. I am the king of saying something and then saying go fuck yourself afterwards.

[Bill Burr]

And hence nobody really listens to me.

[Unknown Comedian]

That's fine.

[Bill Burr]

I'm on the side of the road, sitting here by myself. I am sitting in. I am lying in the bed that I've created, that I've made. All right. Near mid air condition collision. Dear Billy Blade Slapper, A while back you asked for listeners that are pilots to write in with some stories. A few years ago I had. I had my closest ever call in an aircraft. I was flying a cross country flight in the Midwest on a beautiful winter day. Because the weather was so nice and the visibility was fantastic, I decided not to file an IFR flight plan. I also did not use flight following as I didn't think I would really need it since there isn't much traffic in my area, the area in and the area I would be flying in. About halfway through the flight, I start passing a class Delta airport well outside of the class Delta airspace. Well outside the class Delta airspace. What I hadn't considered in my decision is not using flight following was that while I passed this airport, there could be traffic descending to the airport through my altitude.

[Unknown Comedian]

Oh my God.

[Bill Burr]

You can guess what happened.

[Unknown Comedian]

Oh my God, Yes. Jesus Christ.

[Bill Burr]

Pretty soon my avionics started blaring traffic, traffic, 10 o'. Clock. I looked outside, didn't see anything. But when I looked at this display, there was a plane headed right towards me. That means it's above you or below you, right? And moving fast. It turned out to be a gulf stream being vectored by air traffic controllers who apparently didn't think we would get this close together this big. Ended up coming within a mile of me as we both turned to avoid each other. Well, as long as you had your transponder on, the air traffic controller could see you.

[Unknown Comedian]

Jesus Christ. That's still terrifying.

[Bill Burr]

I went back to listening to the ATC record recordings in. The controller. Never even told the Gulfstream pilots I was there. There you go. Shows you what the fuck I know. The pilot told the controller they were maneuvering to avoid traffic. And all the controller said was, roger, yeah, you know, I've only flown in the middle of nowhere a few times, and there's definitely not the sense of urgency that you have in the LA Basin. There's people in airports all over the place.

[Unknown Comedian]

So there's all kinds of, you know, people paying attention. Wow.

[Bill Burr]

After I was done cleaning up all this shit in my pants, I vowed to never fly without an IFR flight plan or flight following again. Big fan of everything you do. Keep it up, Billy boy, and go fuck yourself. Yeah, you know, I'm glad you shared that story. I think that you, anytime you fly, you should use all available safety. You know, that you, you, that you, you possibly can. I don't do any of that.

[Unknown Comedian]

Like flying cross country, I mean, 20 nautical miles. If you land, you can log it as cross country. But as the layman considers cross country, like flying out of a state into another state, like, I don't do any of that. But if I did, like, you know, I've actually, I've flown a helicopter with an instructor up to San Francisco and back. And we had flight following.

[Bill Burr]

And it's great.

[Unknown Comedian]

They just, basically, they follow your flight. They let you know what, what is.

[Bill Burr]

Coming up, what to look out for.

[Unknown Comedian]

You know, they'll just, you know, you.

[Bill Burr]

Won'T talk to them for a minute and all of a sudden they'll just let you know we got traffic, you know, so and so nautical miles away. They're at this altitude, they'll tell you to descend, you're good where you're at, ascend or whatever, what to, what to look out for. I mean, it's really incredible.

[Unknown Comedian]

You know, that reminds me, a long time ago, one of my instructors told me a story. They were flying a helicopter at night and everything was fine. This is back in the day, before all of this incredible technology where you can basically, you know, now if you have like a glass cockpit like this software, you can see all the airplanes and helicopters in your area, how far away they are. You can put your finger on it, it'll say the tail number, the, the arrow points in the direction that they're flying, what their altitude is. It's incredible. But back in the day, you just had your six pack basically of, you know, analog gauges. So you just had your head on a swivel. So at night, you know, above you you can see, but below you with the city lights, like, blends in. And he told me he was flying like a R22, which is, you know, the smallest of all helicopters, right. He was flying along and then all of a sudden the whole. His whole COD pick lit up like a landing light or whatever, or just somebody flying across with a light. And he was just like. He didn't. He didn't know where it was coming from. He just was like blinded. And then it disappeared. Oh, God.

[Bill Burr]

I remember him telling me that story.

[Unknown Comedian]

And I was just like, I'm never flying at night.

[Bill Burr]

And I never have. I've never soloed at night.

[Unknown Comedian]

I have no interest in doing that whatsoever. I mean, that is big, big boy. You know, you'll fly over just like a. You know, you'll see city lights and then you see a dark like whole section. And you don't know if it's water, if it's grass, if it's a hill. You have no idea what the it is. If it's the ocean. If you're. You get all this, you don't know where the fuck you it's. You have no idea what the hell it is. Yeah, in an engine failure, trying to. You're just looking at street lights, fucking trying to land and fuck all that. All of that. I fly during the day when it's nice out.

[Bill Burr]

All right. Dad not being dad. Hey, Billy. Big fan. Just to chime in on the last Monday morning podcast letters to Billy section, specifically the person who found out their dad wasn't their dad.

[Unknown Comedian]

Oh, yeah, yeah. This guy did a 23 and me and found out his mom had an affair and she begged him not to tell the dad and I was just like. I mean, I don't know what to tell you.

[Bill Burr]

This person said, so in short, I'm.

[Unknown Comedian]

In the same boat. My mother was cheating on the old man and had me back in the 80s. Oh my God. Dude, Dude. Jesus Christ. The purse.

[Bill Burr]

The woman's.

[Unknown Comedian]

Just got to be hoping. I hope he just looks like me.

[Bill Burr]

The person mentioned the dad had a history of depression and not to tell him. Well, my old man tried to kill.

[Unknown Comedian]

Himself multiple times with alcohol when I was coming up.

[Bill Burr]

And I was told he only really started drinking when I was born. Oh, no.

[Unknown Comedian]

Thing is, he knew.

[Bill Burr]

My mother knew he knew and we both lowish.

[Unknown Comedian]

Wait, my mother knew. Oh God, the coyotes are killing somebody. Somebody's dog. Oh my God. Fucking hear that? In the hills every once in a while. Just high pitched fucking. All right, sorry about that, dark thought.

[Bill Burr]

The thing is, he knew, my mother.

[Unknown Comedian]

Knew he knew and both lowish level hated me on account of it.

[Bill Burr]

Your own mother hated you too. Well, tell her not to fucking lay on her back with a leg spread, taking a hot one. What the fuck? I suppose what I'm driving at is the dad's mental issues could easily be a result of knowing he's not the father. And this elephant in the room and the person a walking reminder his wife.

[Unknown Comedian]

Of his wife being a hua.

[Bill Burr]

My heart goes out to him. If it was me, I tell the old man, but what do I know?

[Unknown Comedian]

All the best from Ireland. Jesus.

[Bill Burr]

Does anything in Ireland, anything happy happen in Ireland? Jesus Christ. That was the fucking whore version of Angela's ashes. Angela's asses. Angela's ass bent over the pub. Jesus Christ.

[Unknown Comedian]

Anyway, yeah, wow. Okay, well, I think we did it.

[Bill Burr]

Okay. We talked about self driving cars. We talked about robots. We talked about women running the world. We talked about men knowing that their wife is a whore. I think we did it.

[Unknown Comedian]

I think.

[Bill Burr]

I think we got it all done. All right, that is the podcast, everybody. We found out where to buy your toothpaste or where not to buy it. I think. I think we're doing it. All right, that is the podcast, everybody. Go fuck yourselves and I'll check in on you on Thursday.