← Monday Morning Podcast
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Arc Raiders, everybody. Thank you to Embark studios bringing us their new game Arc Raiders. A multiplayer extraction adventure video game set in a lethal future earth. Explore an immersive post apocalyptic world scarred by conflict and reclaimed by nature. A living surface where weather, enemies and shifting conditions heighten the constant threat of Arkansas communities are forced below ground to survive. Jesus, this is amazing. Scavenge survive thrive in a new extraction adventure Arc Raiders. Available now on PlayStation 5, Xbox Series X S and PC. Rated T for team. Hey, what's going on? It's Bill Byrd. It's time for the Monday morning podcast for Monday, November 3, 2025. What's going on? How are ya? Oh, my God. It's the day before the election. You got to get out there and you got to vote. I don't know what's going on in your state, but this is what I want to say. I want to say this right now. I respect your state. I don't have a problem with your state because we are the United States of America, okay? It is a melting pot. And all the other bullshit that they say that fucking hardcore. Certain people for some reason don't believe while they say they believe it, they're actually advertising on TV out here in California, which my fate, one of my favorite parts of the World Series was them showing hot chicks fucking rollerblading or whatever, skating out in Santa Monica and Venice. It's like that's. That's the way they used to sell the state. It was called the California dream, okay? And I got to tell you, it still exists out here, okay? But like every other state, we are in difficult economic times. And it has nothing to do with blue or red ties as much as it has to do with industry leaving this country because they didn't want to pay the working man a working wage, okay? That's why everybody's driving Uber and taking pictures of their food. Because this is no factories left to work it. Anyway, they are, they are openly advertising, openly advertising. You know, one of these things. Vote yes on 50 to prevent Republicans from stealing another election. And they are literally saying that on television. This isn't the Internet. Or if it's the Internet, you're like, all right, that's just some over the top stuff to get me to click on it. But they are literally saying that on tv, where there's rules of libel and slander, you can get sued. And they are just openly saying. It's just unbelievable to me, you know? And then the other side is saying the same thing in their states, which means that stealing elections is happening. They're not even hiding. It's like gambling on sports. Like, it's. It's legal now. Weed is legal. Tattoos are removable. Like, I don't understand what the fuck is going on out there. But, like, somebody in both parties needs to stand up and be like, guys, we have to stop this or we're gonna. This is gonna be a civil war, and this is only gonna be good for billionaires, all right? Everybody else is gonna suck. We're. We're literally, we're gonna kill each other in the streets. So. So some fucking hair plug nerd can have more rockets to shoot to Mars. Or we could all just chill out and be like, hey, man, you know, there's all different ways you can live your life. And just because I choose to live my life one way, I'm free to disagree with the way you live your life, but I don't want to prevent you from doing it. If you're out there, right, you got a four wheeler and a semi automatic weapon, and you want to shoot them squirrels full of lead to start your day on your own proper tie. And you don't hit anybody. I don't give a. Have at it. You want to take that engine out of your F250 and stick it in the back of your bass boat. Have a great time, all right? If you're in the fucking city, you know, you want to walk around having a beard, tits, and a dress. I don't give a shit. I don't give a shit. Whatever you want to do is cool. Just don't hurt anybody. Just don't hurt anybody. Everybody respects everybody, you know, like this, this fucking. I'm telling you, dude, the fucking Internet is evil. It is turning everybody against each other. You're even seeing it in stand up comedy now. Comedians go after other comedians on podcasts. They literally say the person's name. They trash them. I do interviews now. People try to get me to trash like, other comment, and I'm like, I don't. I know. I don't do that. I don't. I don't want to fucking do that. I already feel bad enough. Like, earlier this year, I did an interview and somebody goes, you know, what do you think about comedians having presidential candidates? And I knew it. Who they were talking about. It's like, I don't want to fucking. I don't. I don't. I just wish I could go back in time and be like, hey, man, I don't want to fucking. I'm not doing this, okay? Everybody has a Podcast? They do their podcast. How they want to do their podcast. I fucking sit there by myself in my underwears talking myself like a fucking lunatic. Alright, so guys, we're all Americans. Whether you like it or not, we are. We're all Americans. Let's fucking chill out. Let's fucking chill out. Let's stop having these cunts wind us up. You know, all these nerds that own these fucking social media networks, they're. They're literally bullying the entire population now. They're off. They're flicking the back of your ear every time you go on the, on, on a fucking soda social media platform. You're letting a nerd, bunch of goddamn nerds, nerds fucking flick the back of your ear and ruin your morning, ruin your cup of coffee with some phony shit that a bot just sent you. And then you and somebody else, okay, take the bait and you start yelling at somebody else that you would vibe with in the parking lot outside of the forum, going to a Foo Fighters concert. You'd fucking have a couple of drinks. Now you're on the Internet and you're fucking ruining each other's morning. So some nerd, some nerd can, can, can fucking go to Turkey and get a fucking hair system. Could get a bigger fucking boat. Can do whatever. I don't hear anybody out there on the left of the right, that is, that is like, you know, running this country saying anything about bringing people together. I don't hear anybody on CNN or Fox News doing that shit. They are fucking ripping us apart. And I don't even think there's, there's, there's any goal other than let's get clicks and let's fucking make money. And to see that seeping into stand up, the stand up comedy world, dude, like, I don't know. I'm not pointing any fingers. And like, I shouldn't answer that question. I remember when that person asked me that question, I was thinking like, oh, they want me to trash this person. I was like. So I tried to answer it as, like, eloquently as I could, but I'm in the future, I'm. I have to say shit out loud because I have a medium brain. I'm not dumb, I'm not smart. I got the regular brain. So if I don't say it out loud, like, I'm done with sugar, I'm going to the gym, all right? If I, if I don't say it out loud, it doesn't happen. If I just think it, it just sort of just seeps into the ether. So that's what I'm gonna do from here on out. Yeah. Anyway. Anyway, it's been a hell of a week. Did you see that? Where they. They allegedly caught these mercenaries that kidnapped some Venezuelan soldiers, put on their uniforms, and they were plotting allegedly, to attack a US military ship to start a war down there. Like the level of no coverage that that got. But I get it now. I'll tell you right now, but if the CIA tried to put together a comedy festival down in Venezuela, oh my God. I mean that. They would have got shit for as long as the fucking festival lasted anyway. Anyway. Oh, Jesus. Oh, Jesus, Mary and Joseph. Speaking of that, I went into Target yesterday because I had to buy some more fucking T shirts and some Epsom salt. Just a total 100% old guy going into a fucking box store, right was. I put these pants that I usually dry clean. I just. Ah. They're fucking. You know, they're. They're like chinos. What? I'm not fucking dry cleaning these things. So I threw them in and it's the first time they've been washed. And they were. They were blue. And I washed everything on cold. I don't know what happened. Got all over my T shirts. They actually look kind of cool. They look a little tie dyed. They're gym T shirts now. I used to call them changing the oil T shirts back in the day when I used to change my oil. You know what I mean? That's what kills me about my old truck, the 68F100. I want to change the oil. I have the oil filter wrench. I have the whole thing. It's. It makes me feel like, you know, I'm kind of a man, right? But. However, whoever designed the Ford that year, the frame right where the right way, the. The drain plug is on the oil pan. This. The piece of metal of the frame is right underneath it. So it just hits the frame and then goes all over your fucking garage. And I talked to somebody about that one time, and they were like, well, that's just how they built them back there. Like the left hand didn't know what the fucking right hand was doing. It's like, really? Didn't somebody just sit down and draw this whole thing? That doesn't make sense to me anyway, plowing ahead. So I go into target yesterday, November 2nd, okay. And over the speaker they were playing Rocking around the Christmas tree. It was 48 hours. We. We didn't. It wasn't even 48 hours after Halloween. It was like 36 hours after Halloween. Rocking around The Christmas tree. Have a happy holiday, booby doo. I always wanted to get a little slide in the guitar. Get. You sounded like Les Paul to me. Making a little money, you know, just completely blowing past Thanksgiving, as they always do, because they haven't figured out a way. Grocery stores are the only ones who figured out a way on how to make money off of the genocide of Native Americans. Okay, now, thanks. Thanksgiving, selfishly, is my favorite holiday. All right? Provided you don't go anywhere. Everybody's just gonna sit down and eat. Gonna go watch a little football. You watch the dog show. Westminster with my wife. In the morning, I go out on the back porch, maybe I'll have a cigar. But I'm back. Not smoking again, you know, going another hundred days here. Yeah, that's what Thanksgiving. And they just. There's just no songs. There's nothing you need that you need to buy. It's. And it's also all over the place. It's like whatever you want it to be. There's not like you have to get a Christmas tree, I guess, the turkeys, the Christmas tree, you know, and then it comes down to all of this stuff. And, you know. You know what I don't like about Thanksgiving? I don't like people who don't cook. And then they come on like they're on one of those fucking Food Network cooking shows, and they start talking about how the Mac and cheese has to be right. It has to be right. Or what? You're going to continue not bringing anything to the fucking party? You're going to show up with a bottle of wine and some fucking napkin holders? Go fuck yourself. You got that on the way over. You got that on the way over. Claire. Right? There's always. There's always some loudmouth broad judging the food, right? The narcissist of the family. And everybody's sort of like placating and just looking over. Did, did, did it please this person? I say, this. This is the year. This is the year. I say, you know, you can't tell the person to go themselves, but. Because any sort of attention they like, what you have to do is you just have to fucking get everybody on the same page to be neutral. If everybody can just be neutral with the narcissist in your family, they will be. They will leave in about an hour and seven minutes, and they'll make a big show of it. And everybody just has to. You just have to hold it until they drive away, turn the corner, brake lights disappear, and then everybody can laugh. That's how you do it. You know, I've actually thought about ways of. You know, I'm very inspired by these, these ice vans. You know, I feel like if applied correctly, we could really improve this country. And I would start with sociopaths and narcissists. All right? And I think one of the first ways this is how I would get narcissists. I did a joke in my act how the first time I ever went to an Erewhon, which is like for people who Gelson's isn't even good enough for them. Like, Gelson's is like, that's like the top shelf grocery store. I mean, that is the highest level of cancer causing food that I was aware of that you can buy in the poison food supply of this. This arguably the greatest nation on the planet, ranked 59th in human rights. Bring us your poor, bring us your downtrodden. We'll stick them in a van and fucking throw them in alligator Alcatraz. Erewhon is the next level. There's always another level. I always go back to Delta Airlines. I don't give a fuck what you've done, how long you've served the country, how many, if you got crutches, how many limbs you're missing. I don't give a fuck if you think you're getting on that plane first. You are. There's always a new group that they have created Delta Airlines to a psychotic level, has applied the chasing the carrot, the theorem. I just completely forgot what the I was even talking about. I was talking about, oh, ere one. I went to my. But I was getting a cup of coffee with a friend of mine at this place in the Valley and this whole little mall thing had all of this elevated that I knew my wife was gonna like, you know, for all, you know, for the cleanest twats in la, you know, anytime there's like a Lululemon, you know, there's certain stores that they put in and then you know that there's gonna be like a fucking $48 cheeseburger somewhere in there. Or like fucking, you know, $17 Mac and cheese. Like just basic food, you know, that they, they judge a little. Back in the day, it was truffle oil. You put a little truffle oil in it and he could add like $40 to the bill. So he goes, they got it. He was telling me what they had there because the coffee was really good. He goes, oh, you know, they got an air one here too. I go, get the out of here. No, I know. I didn't Know what an Air One was? I was like, what the is an Air one? And he goes, oh, yeah. He goes, dude, it's like top shelf grocery store. So, dude, I went in there and I'm not gonna lie to you. Like, the food dye that they had in the meat was incredible. It was the reddest, juiciest looking steaks I'd ever seen him. I felt like Fred Flintstone. I'm like, what is this? This, you know, you know what? They should have had an Air One. They should have had like dry ice on the floor. Like you're walking out in the middle of like Led Zeppelin, no quarter, you know what I mean? Like, it was like rock star level food. And I remember I went down the aisle and I saw this woman walking up the aisle and she had a sweatshirt on that said namaste. Okay? Now if I was running, if all of my friends were dictators and I wanted to ruin my own country and go for a third term, and I had the ice vans, that's the person I would put in the van. And that's how I would get them. I would write spiritual shit on mass produced clothes. And the first thing I would do is people that buy clothes that complement themselves or describe their personality. You know, like T shirts that say, I give no fucks. I remember seeing this woman in an airport, you know, and she had like on yoga pants, you know, looking like a hoary test pilot, about ready to get on this plate, right? And I'm sorry I got the hiccups. And written all over her pants was like, you know, big heart, but give no fuck. Fucking social justice war. All of those people, people who actually buy mass produced clothes that compliment the person that wears them, and it's like mass produced, and they feel like it's a unique statement about them. Like they think it's about them. In the van. In the van. Now, I'm not saying this would cure the problems that we have in this country, but I was just wondering, you know, I. I would be open to it. Like, this is just a theory. Let's stick these fucking cunts. Sociopaths, people who mirror your emotions, you know, in the van, in the van. And here's another thing, too. I'd get rid of the alligators, okay? Isn't it enough we make bags and shoes out of them? Do we also have to have them work for free as prison guards? You know, and I don't want to deal with the uprising when they try to unionize and get involved in any of that shit. So What I would do is I would just set those motherfuckers free. Although if you wanted to monetize them, as long as you cut them in, it gave the alligator something. That would be a great show, because only a narcissist would think that they could get across that moat, you know, and the alligators wouldn't eat them because they're a fucking God or whatever. But I would do that. And then that would be the first group I get rid of those people. And then any fucking billionaire nerd that now has a hair system is taking Jiu Jitsu, you know, and is walking around with a Botox altered trophy wife in the van. I'm not saying any of this would work. This is. This is what I think would work. You're not allowed to comment on anything on the Internet. You want. You want to make a comment, talk to the person in your fucking house. The way it used to happen. You would watch tv and then you'd look at somebody going, what the fuck is this shit? This is really the direction we're going. That's. That's how you did it. And more times than not, the person you were with will being like, well, then fucking turn the channel, dude. Are you really gonna do this again tonight? Put a fucking game on, right? And then I would outlaw all hate groups. You want to hate people, you do it as an individual. You're not allowed to join a group. No more fucking groups. Be man enough to be racist by yourself. Yeah, that is it. That is it. Okay? No more gated communities. You want to fuck everybody over. Yeah. You're not living behind a gate. Ain't happening. You can have a gate around your house, but someone can drive up to it, can drive up to your house and be like, hey, that's just my thoughts. It's just my thoughts. It's just the things I like to talk about. Oh, by the way, we gotta talk here. We gotta talk. Dodgers, Blue Jays. Holy. First of all, that was one of the greatest World Series I have ever seen. I think I'd have to go back to the Twins versus the Braves, 1991. A buddy of mine was comparing it to that Game seven, just the entire series. First of all, shout out to the Blue Jays and the team that they have, that never say die team that they had. I have. I got so much respect for that organization and all of the players on that team. It's absolutely heartbreaking that, you know, that they ended up losing that thing. But everybody, myself included, I was like, hey, you know, I think they'll give them a series. But I was, I said, I think they'd give him a series. But I still had the Dodgers winning in five or six. I thought the Blue Jays would take one or two because, like, you guys, I'm not gonna put it on. Like, a lot of people, I was enamored with what Ohtani did. Why wouldn't you be in that game for the closeout game in the NLCS and then for the Dodgers, like, was it Yamamota? Finally got his name right. The guy won three fucking games. I didn't look, but, like, he has to be the MVP of that series. And there was just so many people. Freddie Freeman is just fucking money. Obviously, Ohtani, I know Mookie Betts was struggling, but, like, that guy's still a beast. Game seven had that big hit. Also started the double play to win it. And Miguel Rojas hitting that fucking homer. Oh, my God. When he hit that home run in the ninth inning. I was on the phone with a friend of mine. Her daughter was staying over our house, friends with my daughter. So she called to say goodnight and I was going, you know, and I was right in the middle. I'm like, wow, the Blue Jays are going to win this. And I was talking on the phone, I'm like, yep, they're, you know, they had dinner, everything's cool. They're in the other room watching, blah, blah. And then as I'm talking to her, telling her that everything's okay with her kid, Miguel hits the home run and I just go, oh, my God. She said, she starts going, what? What? I call nothing. I go watching the game. The Dodgers just tied it up in the top of the ninth. I was like, oh, my God. I just kept saying, oh, my God. That was the quietest. Like, how quiet that stadium. I haven't heard Toronto that quiet since the last time the Maple Leafs were in the playoffs. You know that grassy knoll, they all stand out and they're all jumping up and down and they got the scarves and the flags and then they just start slowly walking away like Linus waiting for the Great Pumpkin. I don't know. Dante, I keep saying, Dante, Boba Shet hitting that three run homer. And then the Dodgers coming back and then they get another run and then it was four to three. Blue Jays, I just like lost. Oh, my God. And then the bases are loaded in the bottom of the ninth. They bring in that other guy at second base. They bring the infield in, hits it to second base. The guy's running in to fucking win the World Series. And the guy can't get it out of his glove and then he bobbles it and then he guns it. Takes the fucking catcher off the plate for half a second. And he got like one spike of his cleat onto home plate before that kid slid in. I think Glavin brought this point. I never even thought about this saying home plate is the hardest plate to slide into because it's, it's flush with the ground. I never thought of that. So you got to try to get your foot down without slowing down, get creating too much friction. That's why the head first slide is probably the way to go if you don't mind slamming into all of that catcher gear. I still don't understand why the catcher can't block the plate. You know what I mean? I don't understand that. I don't understand why there's three seconds on the defensive player in basketball. I have to walk away from the goal, which I'm covering. This doesn't make any sense. Jesus Christ. How about that guy hitting a 68 yard field goal kicking the moon balls, the floaties. It's unbelievable. It is just unbelievable. The, the, the difference in conditioning of a field goal kicker from this season versus three years ago. I'll tell you, I, I saw him hit, I heard some hit a 72 yarder in pregame. 68 yard field goal. Ridiculous. Ridiculous. The ball was on their own 42, right? No, wait, yeah, 50 yards. Then you add 10 for the end zone, then you got to add eight when they hike it. So the ball was on the 50 yard line. So if you kick the ball out of the end zone, they're going to get the ball in the 35. They have to go 15 yards for that kid to then be in his field goal range. You know, offense sells the game. One of my New York Yankee friends, one of my friends who's a New York Yankee fan had the classic New Yorker reaction to the World Series. He said, I'm glad the Dodgers won, you know, because his team lost to the Blue Jays. And then he immediately starts saying what the Yankees are going to do next year. You know, he goes and judge, maybe hits one off of Ohtani. That would be amazing. That'd be amazing. I go, dude, this is such a New Yorker response. Like you're not in the conversation of winning a World Series. You were in a World Series two years ago. You made some moves this year and you went backwards. What did you do this year? You beat the Red Sox in a wild card. Best 2 out of 3. We traded away Devers. The whole. The Red Sox are a bunch of kids. With this side at 26, you couldn't get past the Blue Jays, who barely got past the fucking Mariners, who then played the Dodgers and took them to seven games. He goes, dude, we're the best pitching staff in the AL East. It's like you obviously stopped watching baseball after you lost. Ridiculous statement. The fucking Blue Jays pitching staff was incredible. Forget about the Dodgers. They got a guy that can win three out of four games that you need to win. I don't know. But that is. You know, I lived in New York long enough to realize it reminded me a lot about Boston, where Boston is this weird thing where it's. It has these incredible fucking universities. Two of the best universities in the world, MIT and Harvard. And. And it is also ground zero for some of the biggest meatheads you're ever gonna meet in your life. So, like, it has this weird sort of duality where it's like, it's this smart city because of all the people from elsewhere, for the most part, that go to those schools, and then you have the fucking guy like me going to Dunkin Donuts and on his way to a Bruins game. Is the majority of the population. New York is the same thing where, like, there's all of this amazing shit happens in New York, but most of it is done by people that move to New York and everybody else is just a meathead eating a bacon, egg and cheese sandwich, talking about the accomplishments of people who aren't even from New York and then claiming it for their own. Sinatra, Steinbrenner, all of that shit. I'll even say comedians. The amount of fucking comedians that came down or came up from Philly, came down from Boston, came up from D.C. all right, I'm removing myself from this. I'm just saying the ones that I saw as a fan of stand up comedy came there and just fucking crushed it. And then they were like, oh, my God, the New York comedy scene, it's like, yeah, it's like, it's a free agent comedy scene. Anyway, I just thought that that was funny because I love where the Red Sox are and I like our chances next year. As far as I feel like making the wild card again, I, you know, it depends what we do in the off season. But I. In no, in no way do I sit there and look at the Red Sox realistically and be like, yeah, this time next year, they, they're gonna, you know, they could beat the Dodgers. I did See this guy pre game, before game seven goes. You know, if the Dodgers win tonight, that would mean they won three World Series in six years and they would cement their dynasty. It's. It's like, Jesus fucking Christ. The training wheels that they're putting on a dynasty. Fortunately, I only heard one person say that. It's like, you're not a dynasty if you're losing. A dynasty is for three years in a row, the championship was in your city, and there's nothing anybody could do about it. You own the league for at least three years. You can't. Like, they won 2020. The pandemic year. No crowd, okay? You win that year, the next year you lost, the next year you lost, the next year you lost. And then you won. And then you won. So we're going all the way back. You're gonna drag that title from six fucking seasons ago into the back to back and then say, like, you're like the 98, 99, 2000 Yankees or the 74? 70, 73. 74. No. 72, 73, 74 Oakland A's. You're not. You're not the 76, 77, 78, 79 Canadians. 80, 81, 82, 83 Islanders. Those are dynasties, dude. The fucking lakers in the 80s won five championships. They were not called the dynasty because they didn't win three in a row. Sorry, that's what it is. The Lakers, 2000, 2001, 2002. That was a dynasty. The NBA title was in LA three years in a row, and there wasn't a thing the other 29 teams could do about it. The Lakers didn't win. And then lose, lose, lose, win, win. Out of here with that. Anyway, I got to go on a sports show and fucking, like, they said that about the Kansas City Chiefs. I mean, they've been to, like, seven AFC championships in a row. I mean, that's a dynasty. A dynasty of what? So are the Buffalo Bills a dynasty. 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No, you get a hundred night trial to try it out and you get a 10 to 15 year warranty, I guess if you keep it. Models? Dude, they get models with these things with memory foam layers to provide optimal pressure relief if you sleep on your side. Models with a more responsive foam to cradle your body. You fucking pussy. For essential support in stomach and back sleeping positions. Plus enhanced cooling features to keep you from overheating at night if you're. I always just picture somebody stealing from their. Their company, you know. And they know at some point the feds are showing up, just fucking flopping around sweating. But you can't open the window, right? You have the window open, then what? You can't go to sleep because you know when you open your eyes, there's gonna be a fucking raccoon staring there, standing there staring at you, eating the rest of your sandwich. If your spine needs some extra tlc, they got you every Helix mattress has a hybrid design combining individually wrapped steel coils in the base with premium foam layers on top. It's the perfect combination of comfort and support. Helex has been awarded the number one mattress by GQ and Wired magazine. It's even recommended by multiple leading chiropractors and doctors of sleep medicine. As a go to solution for improving your sleep. Go to helixsleep.com burr for 20% off site wide. That's Helix Sleep. H E L I x s L-E-E-P.com Brrrr all right, last one. Cornbread hemp. You skip the advertising. Oh, you're going to kick yourself for this one. Cornbread Hemp. Anytime I hear cornbread, I think Cornbread Maxwell put the team on his back. Cedric Maxwell for the 1981 NBA champion Boston Celtics. Larry Birds first. Cornbread hemp. Have you been looking for a natural way to relieve aches and discomfort? The CBD gummies from Cornbread Hemp are formulated to work with your body, not against it. Dude, where's the cornbread with the hemp in it? Thanksgiving is coming. Cornbread Hemp CBD gummies are made to help you feel better. Whether it's stress, discomfort or just needing a little relaxation. They only use the best pot. The best part of fucking hemp. The best part of the hemp plant the flower for the purest and most potent cbd. Formulated to help relieve discomfort, stress and sleeplessness. All products are third party lab tested and USDA organic to ensure safety, safety and purity. Right now, Monday morning, podcast listeners can save 30% off their first order. Just head to cornbreadhemp.com brrrr and use the code burr at checkout. That's cornbreadhemp.com burr and use code burr b u r r arc raiders everybody. Thank you to Embark Studios bringing us their new game Ark Raiders, a multiplayer extraction adventure video game set in a lethal future earth. Explore an immersive post apocalyptic world scarred by conflict and reclaimed by nature. A living surface where weather, enemies and shifting conditions heighten the constant threat of ark. Communities are forced below ground to survive. Jesus, this is amazing. Scavenge, survive, thrive in a new extraction Adventure Ark Raiders, available now on PlayStation 5, Xbox Series, Xbox and PC. Rated T for teen. All right, finally, mercifully into the questions. Into the questions. Now, what are you guys gonna do? What are you gonna do this week? You're not gonna fucking argue with anybody. You're not gonna argue with your fellow countrymen. If you live in Arkansas, you're gonna appreciate California. If you live in California, you're gonna appreciate Tallahassee, Florida. You live where you live. I live where I live. I like you, you like me. We're on the same team. Don't let these haberdash cunts separate you. All right? Cholesterol myths. Dear Bill, feel free to ignore this email. I'm about to give you some unsolicited health advice, which I know you are not a fan of. Yeah, but you know, that's the perfect intro. That's. See, see the way this person did this? Feel free to ignore it. But they just, they just capitulated the whole fucking thing over to me. Which is a power move because that means, hey, man, I actually have some information. You want to hear it? Okay. You don't? You don't. No skin off my back, right? Can we stop saying that? It's a reference back to fucking shut up Anyway. But he says, but I can't let my favorite redhead comedian possibly get sicker. Not on my watch. I just wanted to clarify a few things out. A few outdated teachings about cholesterol. And I say outdated because nurses and doctors are sick too. Take a look around the hospitals that all the overweight staff, we nurses, have a higher obesity rate than the general population. We are giving ourselves the same bad advice on health and nutrition that we give our patients. I don't believe this is a conspiracy. I think the education just needs to be updated and changed and changing. The system is slow, as you know. Please do not do a low fat diet. Eating fat makes you fat and makes your cholesterol high is a very old teaching. It's slowly changing in the general population, but a lot of our health practices will be slow to adapt this lesson. Well, no, I was just eating too much fucking red meat. I was eating breakfast burritos. So, I mean, I don't know what to tell you. I mean, and also, how can you diagnose what my shit is without looking at it yourself? Anyway, the FDA changed its regulation towards eggs and healthy fats in December of 2024, saying that both are part of a healthy heart, healthy diet. More change is coming. The old standard LDL blood work does not Show LDL particle size large particle LDL versus small particle particle ldl. It's a small particle LDL that is truly dangerous and that causes atherosclerosis, I. E. Heart attacks. You could have a lot of large particle LDL that is not dangerous at all. What the does LDL mean? The biggest indicator of whether or not you're going to have a heart attack is inflammation. We get inflammation through an ultra processed food diet, not from protective anti inflammatory food like healthy fats and proteins. Too much sugar, I don't fuck with sugar unless I'm eating fruit. Too much flour, I don't fuck with flour. Too much fake food all cause inflammation and this usually comes with the low fat, low calorie diet. This is why when fat got vilified in the 1990s and more people switched to low fat diets, the rates of heart disease went up and not down. Well, the reason why they did the low fat thing was the skim off the top of the milk and they didn't want to throw it out, they wanted to figure out a way to sell it to us. But it was weird because they were also bad mouthing their 4% milk. There's a whole bunch of shit. Anyway, as a cardiac nurse, I treated many patients who had heart attack with perfect cholesterol levels. The solution? Eat real food. This is good shit. I like this here. The food humans have eaten since the dawn of time. Food from plants and animals. The food humans were designed to consume. Eat the food that is in the outer aisles of the grocery store and nothing from the shelves in the middle. That's where all the fake ultra processed food is. Sorry for a long winded email. What are you talking about? You're improving my life. And anybody listening who wants to take this information, not looking for any recognition or even for you to read it on the podcast. I just truly hope you take a minute to hear a less popular opinion. Either way, I wish you the best of health for you and your beautiful family. Thanks for all the free laughs. So basically the breakfast burrito, the egg part isn't the problem. It's probably the flour tortilla that it's in the flour tortilla. No, you know, I've been doing green juices, oatmeal parfaits for breakfast, getting my cardio in and then I've been do eating salads with salmon. And then at night I'm also, you know, I'm eating, I am eating real food and for like snacks at night I have like steamed spinach and like Snow peas. So anytime I get, like, a craving, I just grab a handful of it and I just shove it in my mouth and I start chewing, and immediately I am satisfied. And my. The old freckled belly. It ain't what it used to be. Is going down. It's going down. All right. Girl asking for money. Hey, Bill, bubble beer belly. Just kidding. No, I love fat shamin. I love it. Fucking, you know, gets me to the gym, which is where I am going right after this backstory. Over 10 years ago, I used to work with this girl. We were kind of into each other. I left the job before anything. What the fuck is that? What are they drilling outside? Oh, it's a fucking leaf blower. Jesus Christ. Everybody bitches about the helicopters out here. It's the fucking leaf blowers. Oh, fucking. When I used to smoke cigars. I love that I can say that now. When I used to smoke cigars on a regular basis, when I was sitting on my back porch, it was like fucking clockwork. The second I would light it and take, you know, the first little, you know, puff you'd hear, he'd sit there, all right, oh, my God. This is dude at my gym. I swear to God. I swear to God. He comes in and he wears, like a. He's like, skinny and really hairy, pale skin with, like, this jet black hair all over his body. He has the tank top where it doesn't go down to the armpits. It goes all the way down to the waist. You know, the. The. The open area. Jesus Christ, dude. Jesus Christ. He's. Goddamn. Sounds like he's drilling for oil out there. Anyway, taking a walk here. So this guy's got one of those tank tops with the. The part that just. Usually just goes underneath the armpits. It goes all the way down to his waist. It's totally open on the sides. And then he wears those fucking short shorts from the 70s, okay, with like the. Like. Like blue shorts with, like, the white line on the side, and they're, like, fucking baggy. You know, like when you buy your kids underwear and they haven't grown into them yet, they. They're fucking loose around the legs, and that's what. Except he's an adult. And then he, like, does these stretches where he's doing down dog, and then he's lifting one leg up in the air, and it's like his fucking junk is gonna fall. I just want to be like, dude, can you put some fucking shorts on? Can you put some. Every time I go to the fucking gym, he's always got the giant, like, exercise ball, and he wears the same thing every time, and he's, like, bent over backwards on it. Hey, I'll tell you, my gym is wild. It's wild. I'm like, how is no woman bitched about that? Am I gonna be the guy? It was. It's, like, annoying. It's funny. Got these Kurt Rambis glasses on. I mean, there's just, like. I don't know. Maybe I should just look at the whole picture and just be like, maybe this guy is just so unappealing as a person that he just has to put it out there, hoping somebody. Somebody's gonna love him. I don't know what it is, but Jesus Christ, put on a shirt, put on some shorts, cover yourself up, and work out. Oh, my God. It's terrifying. It's like his hose is gonna. It's gonna come out one day. I don't want to be there for. All right. Girl asking for money. All right. Sorry. I already started. Okay. Backstory. Over 10 years ago, I used to work with this girl. We were kind of into each other, but I left the job before anything became of it. We remain cordial through the years. And about five years ago, what does cordial mean? You occasionally hooked up or you just occasionally said, what's up? On social, or she still has your number. Anyway, through the years and about five years ago, we went on a date once but never really followed up. Current story, we're Both in our 30s now and still single, so we started to talk again. We went on a date two nights ago and had a great time. I believe the intention is to take it serious this time, but plot twist. She calls me around 4am this morning, asked me if. Asked if I could cover her dental bills. Oh, yeah, that's a hard no. I'm usually uncomfortable when people I don't know too well asked to borrow money. But anyway, I asked her how much it was, and she replied $15,000. I told her I didn't have it, which I don't. Who's got 15 grand to give to somebody else you don't even fucking know for their dental work anyway. But I'm kind of turned off by the fact that she felt comfortable enough to ask me after one date. Technically, two dates, but five years apart. Buddy, you need to be majorly uncomfortable. You went on one date, and she asked you for 15 grand. What is she going to ask you for? What is she going to ask you for when she's actually your girlfriend? She's really nice and she asked you at 4am which means she's up worried about this shit, which means that's just the tip of the iceberg. She's really nice. Yeah. People who need 15 grand tend to be pretty pleasant. She's really nice, but I'm not sure how to continue with this. Has anything like this ever happened to you? Has anybody asked me for 15 grand after one date? No. Has anybody asked me for money? 100%. I take it on a case by case basis, and on this case it is a no. It is definitely a no. Listen, if you felt bad and you had the money and you just wanted to help somebody out because, you know, what's the point of making money if you're not going to help somebody out? I always. I believe in that too. And this felt like the right thing to do, then I would do it. But the fact that there's, like, romance and, you know, you kind of like into her and it's just like, no. She's well into her 30s. She doesn't brush her teeth. She's not good with money. She is just gonna back that truck of problems up. I don't know what level model that weed, what that leaf blower is, but that's good. I thought they'd fix that problem with the. I'm gonna go down there after this and tell that guy to put on some earplugs or he's gonna end up with tinnitus like me. Yeah, I would. I would say. I would say don't do it. And I think it's the tip of the iceberg. All right, you're in your 30s. I'm sure you can find a nice person that has their together financially. Okay? She is not looking for a boyfriend. She's looking for a sugar daddy or she's looking for, you know, the same way. There's like, guys out there who act like they're looking for a wife, but they really want another mother. You know, wash my clothes, take care of me, do all of this. They're just like. They're like, my wife is man babies, man boys or whatever. I think she's the female version of that. That's an easy one. I would walk away from that, you know? I mean, what is she gonna say? You got 15? I mean, that's wild. That is wild. 15 grand. I mean, that's something a relative does. I mean, you don't even know this person. Has she even sucked your dick yet? I'm kidding. Yeah. No, no. Fuck that. Fuck that. Fuck all of that. And I would In a very nice way. I would just do what you did the first time where there was really no follow up on the date, and then be thankful that the first time there was no follow up on the date. Because if you married her, she's. I don't know. I don't know. Maybe she's going through some. This ain't your problem, dude. You can do a lot better. All right? You're on the used car lot. This. This thing has been in a. It's got a bent frame. I would move on to the next car personally. All right, Big Bear. Hey there, Billy Bear bait. I heard the your Big Bear story from Thursday, and I have a better one for you. My wife and I rented. And by the way, I wasn't at Big Bear Lake. I just said that because I was still at the lake that I was at. It wasn't Big Bear, but I just said that. Anyway, my wife and I rented a nice house on Big Bear Lake, Inspiration Point area, to celebrate an anniversary. I cannot believe how loud that thing is. I have to go see if that guy has hearing protection. I do that to fight. I. I believe me. God, you don't protect your ears. You know, Wu Tang said protect your neck all the time. They got your neck covered. I'm talking about your ears. You got to have the earplugs. All right, I heard your Big Bear story. Okay. Inspiration Point. The neighborhood had a former boat ramp adjacent to the house that acted as a walking path down to the water. The first night there, I was in amazement of the stars. So I pulled out my good camera and set up for a difficult night picture. I'm also a pale, bald whitey, so typically I would stand out to nearby animals. But I was accidentally camouflaged by wearing dark pants and a hoodie. I was lying on my back for a while, trying to be very still because I didn't have my tripod, but felt like I got some decent shot. So I slowly stood up, still mostly looking up at the stars. Oh, my God. Out of my peripheral vision, I see a large black silhouette move on the nearby old boat ramp, and I instinctively flinch, then go still. Oh, my God, dude, this is making my heart race. My brain immediately realized it's a large black bear, and the only thing separating us is about 25ft and a baby gate. My flinch must have gotten his attention because I see him. Maybe her, but him sounds more badass. Look straight at me. I'm in a dead cold freeze on my feet at this point, wondering if I have time to make it through the sliding glass door before Baloo bears down on me. Do you know the relief you got when you think you just got a second chance at life? I had that when the bear started running away from me up the boat ramp. My wife was inside at the time, washing her face. And above her sink was the open window facing the boat ramp. As I'm opening the glass door, she's coming out to tell me she thinks she heard something and that I should come inside. She says my eyes were like saucers and that I just yelled, I saw a bear. And he saw me like a child. The bear had also set off the motion lights when he. When he ran off. So the noises along with the lights and my reaction had my wife convinced I was telling the truth. Meanwhile, my parents, who slept through the whole incident and they thought I was with them. The next morning, I was still amped up and had barely, in quotes, slept the night before. Jesus. It was muddy from the recent rain, so I suggested, why don't we go look for bear tracks in the mud area? I'll never forget the look of. Oh, shit. He was telling the truth on my dad's face when he quickly came across these giant bear prints. Attached picture. Oh, I don't have the picture. I'll have to ask Andrew for it. The lasting thought I have about that memory is how that bear was able to get square so close to me without me hearing a thing. They are surprisingly stealth for something so large. Keep the faith and go yourself. Yeah, dude. For all you know, it was already there. I think that's what happened to my wife. Yeah, we were up in. We were really up in Lake Tahoe, but we were still there. So there's always weirdos. So I never say where if I'm still going to be there, you know, when the pottery, you know, wherever I say I never am or I already left. That's how the game works. But I didn't want people up in Big Bear to think, like. Because I heard there was no bears up there. I don't know. Evidently there are. Who knows? All right, that is the podcast, everybody. Baseball season is over. The baseball fan of me is sad, but what a great season. But the. The. The pilot in me is excited because there's no more TFRs over Dodger Stadium until next year because that's always my big paranoia when I fly around. There is my. Is my. Is my information up to date on foreflight? You know, have I done all the downloads? Is there a tfr? And I'm not aware of it. I'm gonna fly into it. Don't need that shit. So anyways, that is the podcast. Everybody go fuck yourselves. Come together, man. Let's not have another civil war. That's what they want. Don't fucking do it. It's a bunch of goddamn nerds. Nerds. I'll see you Thursday.