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A
Hey, what's going on? It's Bill Burt. It's time for the Monday morning podcast for Monday, February 10, 2025. What's going on? How are ya? What's going on? How are you?
B
I'm still here in New York, obviously doing this fucking. Well, not obviously, obviously me still doing this gig. I can't get acclimated to this time. Every night I'm laying in bed to like 2, 3 in the morning and I'm tired of I don't know, I don't know what the deal is. Oh, Billy sports fan.
A
Oh Billy sports fan. I went to a bru.
B
It just worked out, just worked out.
A
I went to the Bruins game against.
B
The Rangers on like Monday or Tuesday last week and then say night I went to, I went to the Knicks game against the Celtics. It's funny, it was a fucking 8:30 game, right? So I'm there with another buddy of mine, he's a Celtics fan. You know, the guy's a Knicks fan. And you know it's an 8:30 game, East Coast, 8:30. And I'm like, why the fuck is it at 8:30? And they go, it's the national game. Celtics start the game. Jayson Tatum, what he did all night, little crossover move, nobody touches him. And he just fucking two handed dunk on some poor bastard on the Knicks took the Garden out of the game quick. The next thing you know we're up like 17, 18 points quick. This is the national game. So you know, the ref start calling, you know, anything that we're doing or.
A
Whatever and we're all just laughing. Even the Knicks fan, he goes, yeah, he's got to keep it close. It's the, it's the national game, right? I don't, I don't even know where the fuck we like the level. You know what was fun about corruption when I was young was it was.
B
They at least tried to hide it.
A
You get these refs just, just wide open. You can bet on sports at the arena.
B
You can see Kyle and hold some.
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Sort of governmental position.
B
I wasn't seeing Highland.
A
I did a gig. Sad. Saturday night after the game, I was walking in the snow, walking in the snow, by the way. This whole fucking new thing with fucking guys wearing shorts in the wintertime. It was fucking snowing out. It was that awful snow. Not the fun snow that makes your girlfriend go like, yay. It's so beautiful. It was that wet snow where it's almost rain, but it's not and it's not snow and it's going Sideways. And this fucking jerk off comes up the street. You know, he's got this. You know, those big winter coats you'll.
B
See a homeless person have? You know, they just grab whatever coat they can find. So it doesn't.
A
It's ill fitting. Maybe they beat up a homeless guy bigger than them so they fucking walked in. A big fucking coat like that, you know, snow boots on and then shorts. I can't. The fucking shorts thing, it's like, I get it. You don't get cold. You know, that's the male version of a chick with like fake titties. Like, wearing them out, you know, barely covering them. And then be like, fucking. I just comfortable. What are you looking at?
B
Yeah, he's fucking male. Attention whores get a fucking personality and a pair of pants walking around. I run hot. It's like fucking 31 degrees out. What the fuck are you talking about? Walking around in goddamn shorts.
A
And is the thing.
B
I know some people run hot, but.
A
Like, this whole wearing shorts in the fucking wintertime or all year round, that is a new phenomenon.
B
The last like 20 years.
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Last 20 years.
B
So I don't know. Or maybe. Maybe it isn't that.
A
Maybe it isn't a fucking.
B
Fashion. I don't know. I just. I always look at shit like that, just being like, all right, that person, like, doesn't know how to tell a story, doesn't know how to talk to women, so they got to do something to steal focus.
A
You're wearing shorts, but they don't kick. No. Then we gotta talk about your legs.
B
Oh. Anyway, and let's just say. Let's just say it isn't a desperate attempt to get attention. You know, like a hipster picking somebody off a. What is that the worst app ever? That picture one. Pim. Pim. Not Pimsleur. It's a language app. What's the fucking Pinterest? That is the worst, most confusing fucking whatever that is. They got the coolest fucking pictures. You can't share them with anybody. And then, like, it's. The whole thing is just fucking erratic. I can't figure it out. But they. They got great pictures.
A
Oh, hey, I'll tell you, they got great pictures. Okay?
B
That was my goddamn point. Yeah, the hipsters, it's like they go.
A
On there and they.
B
They just pick a guy from like 1974 to 1982, and they're like, I'm dressing like that guy. At least they do in Los Angeles. I don't know if they. Maybe in Brooklyn too.
A
I don't know.
B
Let's just. Okay, Bill, let's not be a cunt. Let's just say maybe they run hot. I run hot. Well, then how come you're wearing a jacket?
A
If you run hot, wouldn't you just.
B
Walk down the street like it was springtime? And if you do run hot, like, what is happening to your junk in July?
A
Wait a minute, I. You run so hot that like, you and your woman, you're trying to have a baby and you literally cannot do it in the summertime because your balls and your junk are just so. Just heated up. It cooks your sperm gross, Right? So in the wintertime, in order to have like viable sperm, you got to walk like. All right, honey, let's try tonight.
B
All right?
A
Wait a second. I got to put my shorts on and walk around the block in the snow. Cool down my jizz. Here we go.
B
Anyway, so I went over to Gotham Comedy Club. Had a shitty set and a fucking shitty set. I just wasn't like. I mean, the crowd was good and everything and they show went okay, but like I just wasn't flowing. Anyway, dude, I saw a fucking amazing, amazing movie. One, arguably.
A
The greatest movie. If you grew up in the 70s.
B
And you just want to go back to it and see like the greatest documentation of how dirty this country was in the early 70s, how brown everything looked and all of these fucking wannabe Cadillac four door fucking sleds that you just like. All of these cars that I like.
A
The cars that you.
B
That you forgot, you remembered that makes any sense. Like, oh my God, I remember seeing who makes that fucking car. And I was missing on all of them. Is that a Buick? No, that's a Pontiac. Pontiac. What? What the fuck is that? So anyway, they have this. The same guy. I should have got these names. The same guy that choreographed the car chase in Bullet Stars. Roy Scheider. I'm sorry, I didn't even say the name the movie. It's called the 7 ups. And the full movie is on YouTube for free. Now, I don't like watching movies for free. I have no problem paying for my. Usually, you know, rent them for 399 on YouTube. YouTube Low Key has better fucking movies than most streaming services because they have like, you know, random obscure, like they don't give a fuck about an algorithm. It's like if you upload it, it's there, right? So anyway, Roy Scheider. But they. The guy who choreographed the car chase in Bullitt. Steve McQueen in that, that Shelby Mustang. And then the other. The bad guys were in like that. I Don't know what the fuck it was. I'm so bad. Someday I'm gonna sit down and learn the hammy shit. Some sort of Chrysler, Dodge. I don't know what the fuck it was. But it's badass car, right? And so he does this one and this one, I'll be honest with you, I can't even name it was a. I, I want to say the car was like a four door Pontiac. It was a sled. And then the other one was some rip off of a Mustang or some Hemi. I don't even, I don't even know who made it. Roy Scheider's in that one and they have this car chase and it's just like bullitt where Steve McQueen was driving by himself. Roy Scheider's driving by himself. And then there's the two bad guys. So the two bad guys. There's a guy in the passenger seat named Richard lynch who was also in Scarecrow with Pacino and Gene Hackman. And he's a fucking unbelievable actor. Un fucking believable actor. And he's, he's the other bad guy. He's in the passenger seat. And what's amazing is he plays scared. Like that's his choice. Like he's concerned. And it really makes the scene like come alive. Because the way the first one, both bad guys were like stoic, you know, like that, that worked in a way. But having somebody at least address what the fuck they're doing. And by the way, they're racing all along the Upper west side. They go over the George Washington Bridge and they sort of fudge it because they go over the broad George Washington Bridge, like they're going into New Jersey. And then they somehow end up on like the Merritt Parkway, like you're going up to Westchester. It is a fucking amazing, amazing car chase. And there's a nod to Jane Mansfield in the car chase if you guys know that fucking story anyway. Absolutely. I, you know, out of five stars, I give it for cars. I give it six stars. Absolutely incredible. And I've been trying to think, you know, now that I, I sold my Jaguar and I don't have a, I don't have a daily driver. I want to. I'm gonna get one of those fucking cars. One of those big fucking living room cars. Just gotta figure out like which one. So funny. The interiors on those cars are ridiculous. It's like you're driving around in a living room. It's unbelievable. So anyway, that, that movie is incredible. And then I also saw, I went out yesterday and I saw the Brutalist. Jesus Christ, they should have called that movie the fucking Brutalist because it is fucking brutal. Not in a bad way. Just what the characters go through is fucking brutal. Long ass movie too. They had an intermission which I can't remember last time I went to a movie, it had a 15 minute fucking intermission. And I went with a friend of mine and we're looking at each other like, dude, what the. How long is this fucking movie? Because we were gonna go to the movie and then get something ate down in Chinatown over there. And the acting in it is, is in. Is incredible.
A
So I guess it's nominated.
B
Sorry, I'm not on time here. It was nominated to, for a whole bunch of awards and everything and I can see why. Performances in there were incredible. So anyway, that, that thing ends and you know, it was a 6 o'clock movie. We got out at like 10 o'clock and we were laughing, going like, you know, if that was on tv, I don't know if I would have made it. Like I would with my add, I wouldn't have made it through it. So, so glad I went. I saw it in the movie theater, but it doesn't drag. It like somehow went by really fast, but I didn't have the distractions or anything like that. And also if you watch it at home, it's three hours and 35 minutes. But that's with the credits. Credits take five minutes. So it's three and a half hours. But anyway, so we're walking out of the movie theater and then we're going. Walking over to like Chinatown. And at this point it's late and it's Sunday night and I'm trying to figure out, you know, I'm trying to find a place that's open or whatever and we're talking about the movie and shit. And I walked by and it was so funny and I looked and the super bowl was still going.
A
That's what I just. It's so awful why the super bowl.
B
Has to be that goddamn long. I went to the game last year and I swear to God, when they go to commercial and you're sitting in the stadium, how long it is, you. It just kills all the drama of it. The only sport that does that, the only fucking sport where it gets to the most important game of that sport and then the game is so in the fucking background. Who's performing at halftime?
A
How much do you think that commercial cost? We normally run three, four commercials between, you know, commercial breaks.
B
Now we're going to run eight.
A
So anyway, my prediction on the game was that if they let him play, the Eagles could beat him and Saquon was going to run wild and eat up the clock and he would be the mvp. But if the refs were doing their usual bullshit, you know, the Eagles didn't have a fucking prayer. So I walk down the street and I see it's like 40 to six eagles. And I was like, all right, I guess they fucking. They fucking let them play. All of these people calling them out for their fucking bullshit. They didn't get the preferential treatment. Is that what happened? I have no idea. I didn't watch the game, but Virsey told me that Saquon, you know, didn't have a dominating game or whatever. And Jalen Hurts got the mvp. So congratulations to the Eagles and congratulations.
B
To you guys, because I swear to God, if the fucking Kansas City Chiefs.
A
Won.
B
I don't know if I was going to be able to hold my fucking tongue. But they did a good job, though. They got, you know, Taylor Swift all the way to the Super Bowl. So the casual fan was there, but not for long.
A
But long enough maybe that they made their money. I don't know.
B
I don't know.
A
The only thing I saw, I did.
B
See something funny.
A
Was a bunch of Eagle fans singing something like, you know, nobody likes us, we don't care. I know singing that nobody likes them, we don't care. And it was so fucking hilarious to me, where it's like, oh, these poor bastards, they don't realize that it's worse than that. It's worse than, nobody likes you. Nobody, we don't care. Nobody's talking about you. Like, no one's standing around the water cooler in a different fucking city going, I'll tell you know what city really burns my britches. The saddest thing about Philadelphia and when I started, when I first started to love that city, aside from the fact.
B
Was I always liked their teams, despite that stupid thing that happened when I was down there with Stan. I was just going after their teams because they were booing me, right? But I always liked their teams. I mean, the Celtics, Phillies, like, I really. Not Phillies, the Celtics, Sixers, right? I didn't. I didn't like the Sixers during that time, but now I look back, I love those guys. And I still think that 76ers, way back in the day, that the pregame, the war, their warm ups, whatever that they had when Dr. J was playing on him in the early 80s, is still arguably one of the Best fucking logos and whatever, whatever you want to call it. Fucking uniforms ever. And always liked the Phillies. And I loved the Flyers when I was growing up because I loved watching the fights and that was their whole fucking identity. I did hate the Eagles because I was a Cowboys fan during the Tom Landry Cowboys era. You know, I was like devastated when they beat the Cowboys in 1980 and then went to the super bowl, whatever. But I've always liked that city. You know, know, Mitchell and Ness, I liked. And then I liked the way the city was like laid out with all those one way streets. It made no sense or anything. There was a great comedy club down there. So the first time I was driving down to Philly, you know, this is the day. This is way like 30 years ago. So I'm driving, I got a Rand McNally map. So, you know, getting into New Jersey, it's confusing with the turnpike. I got to make sure I'm going the right way. So I get on 95 south and I just stopped paying attention because I'm like, all right, when I, when I get to like, you know, Philly, then I'll, you know, look down at the map and see, you know, where, where I'm gonna go, you know, to get to the, to get to the comedy condo, right? And all of a sudden I start seeing signs that I'm, you know, Maryland, where the is. You know, when you start thinking like how states are put together, it's like, wait, is Philly like south of Jersey? And it like abuts up against Maryland. I didn't, I didn't know that. I got almost to Maryland before I realized 95 does not go through. It bypasses Philadelphia. And I was pissed because it made me late. But then I remember, just forget what comic. I was just going, dude, how the fuck are you guys a major city? And the major fucking highway on the east coast, the major one, 95. 95 goes through fucking Portland, Maine. It doesn't go through Philadelphia. It. He's like, yeah, no.
A
So anyway, congratulations to the Eagles. What is that? That's their second one.
B
And that's the first Super Bowl I hadn't watched since I missed the. When the Titans played the Rams. But I ended up going back and watching it. So I just, I literally cannot watch a Chiefs game and listen to those fucking guys just going like, oh my goodness, see the way Patrick Mahomes broke up. I think I get it, dude, I get it.
A
I get it. You're telling me he's the next one.
B
He's the next one. I got it.
A
I just couldn't fucking stomach watching the goddamn thing. And I was just literally convinced.
B
You know, I don't. All of this shit. I just, I don't. I don't think, like, baseball necessarily has a. Baseball has a problem with cheating and.
A
Gambling a little bit, and they just sort of go like, oh, you know, it's the interpreter. Or, okay, people. People have been dealt with in Houston, and then that's it. But then when they win their second one, we're going to say it's their second World Series and act like that first thing never happened. They kind of do that. But, like, basketball and football, like, I don't know anymore. I mean, I'll tell you the one thing that, like, was the most. The biggest admission of guilt to me.
B
Was when that Donaghy guy got busted for having mob affiliations and when they were telling that story and when the FBI went to David Stern and said, out of a courtesy, just to let you know, we're investigating your league, okay? And then the next day, David Stern went public and announced that that was what was happening. To fuck their whole investigation. What does that say to you? Is that not the biggest admission of guilt? Is that. That the biggest admission of, like, hey, these guys start turning over rocks, if they turn over the wrong rock, like, we're all going to go down. Because those. Because it. There was two levels of, I am. You cannot fucking convince me otherwise. There was two levels that the thing was being fixed.
A
It was the mobbed up guy who.
B
Was not doing it for the NBA. And then it was Stern and those guys, you know, with these storylines in these cities that were making them fucking money and they were involved in it, and someone was going to get intimidated, someone was going to get scared, someone was going to talk, like, I don't think I have on my tinfoil hat thinking that. Because, like.
A
The number one thing that.
B
Like, these guys were all afraid of is having a cheating scandal. And if the fans know it isn't real or believe it's not real, their big panic is that we're going to all walk away from the sport and we're not going to watch anymore, you know, so they defend that at fucking, like, all costs. So that's why they allow, like, going, oh, yeah, I didn't bet 14 million on baseball. It was my interpreter.
A
Because, like, if Ohtani was not a star, if he was just some fucking.
B
Run of the mill guy, that's.
A
Then they don't want that, but they would punish him. And then it makes them look like.
B
They'Re actually police in the fucking game.
A
So anyway, like, if you're. If you're the commissioner of the fucking league and you know that there's some.
B
Level of corruption there, you don't want.
A
You don't want that in your league at all.
B
You would work with the FBI. The FBI shows up to your office and you have, like, fucking 90 lawyers.
A
Sitting around you, and then you immediately.
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Sabotage the whole fucking thing to stop it. I don't know. That does not look good to me.
A
And don't even give me this shit of like, well, you know, he stopped it because the investigation doesn't look good, he said, but you still have. Well, then you stop that. So you didn't figure out where the corruption was coming from. So then it should continue. Why would you want to do that? Why would you want to do that unless you were part of it? So you can't. You can't fucking convince me otherwise. So here's the thing. I don't think that these.
B
These games are like. I don't think that they're like. Like everything that you're watching, like, the running backs in on it, every fucking basketball players in on. I don't. I don't think that. But I definitely think that, like, back in the day that yout know, storylines came together organically and you had to wait for greatness. Like, when a great era came to an end, there was a little bit of a lull, and then the league would have to go through a few years to try to find a new identity. Like when the Cowboys and Steelers thing ended in the 70s, it took a little while for the 49ers. You know, they wanted an 81. Like, that whole thing ended in, like, set the 79th season, right? Or you could say the NFC championship game when the Eagles beat the Cowboys. Okay, so the 49ers win it in 81, but that's just, like, one championship. And everybody's like, wow, man, didn't see that coming. Like, all right.
A
It wasn't until, like, you know, four.
B
Or five years later that the greatness of Bill Walsh and Montana and all that.
A
I mean, Jerry Rice wasn't even there.
B
I didn't think until the last two. I think he missed 81 and 84.
A
But the Raiders also won, like, in.
B
80 and then won 83. So people like, oh, maybe are they gonna be the team of the decade?
A
You know, and then the Redskins won.
B
One, and then the Redskins came right back. I go, fuck, is it.
A
The Redskins was sort of like, flipping around and Then it just sort of naturally played out like, oh, 49ers, 49ers.
B
This was their decade. And, wow, Joe Montana, you're never gonna see another guy like that. But, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba. You know, and you didn't for the.
A
Longest time, even with the Cowboys. One of the things, it was like, Joe Montana's aggressive. Now it just.
B
They just.
A
It just.
B
It happens immediately.
A
Like, whatever just happened that.
B
Yeah, I'll tell you right now, you're not going to see another guy like.
A
That for a long, long time. And then now just. I mean, up. It's happening again. It's happening immediately. No. No waiting. Tsa. Just fucking cruise right on through. So I just feel like over the years, you know, when I was watching sports, like 50 years ago, they were still, you know, they were still like kind of sports leagues or whatever, and sports wasn't as big. There was no fucking espn.
B
It was the last five minutes of the newscast.
A
You know, there was money to be made and everything, but, like, shit that.
B
Made these leagues bigger was like an accident.
A
Like, Monday Night Football was a fucking idea.
B
They had no idea that, you know, that that was going to happen. That putting Howard Cosell in with Frank.
A
Gifford and dandy Don Meredith and that.
B
The mix of that was going to be this cultural phenomenon and that the.
A
National Football League would somehow become more.
B
Popular than Major League Baseball. But what happens is when the shit happens, they go, oh, fuck, that works. Let's keep doing that. And I think it's been that thing that they've been doing over the years. Oh, that works. Keep doing that. That storyline works. We need this storyline. That's where it started to get manipulated is kind of like just where I am. I'm at with sports. And I gotta be honest with you, I was always kind of, like, envious of people. When I would meet somebody that didn't watch sports, I go, jesus Christ, what the do you do with all of that free time? That must be amazing to not give a. And I feel like I'm slowly getting there.
A
Rather than getting upset, just being like, oh, okay, Is that the greatest thing that ever happened? Okay. No, hey, yeah. Yeah, like that. Exactly.
B
Anyway, I am excited that they didn't.
A
Win three in a row, because if they won three in a row, then I would. Then I literally thought that that was going to happen, because that would have been perfect for them because they would get to be like, okay, now he's won three in a row. Nobody's ever won three in a row. So you have to now Say that he is in your conversation and you can't argue it, right? Somebody wrote that you can't argue. Just trolling people to call in.
B
Anyway, at some point I will. I'll watch the game, but I honestly, I think I'm done. Oh, by the way, I saw. I've been listening to a lot of Ozzy lately. I've been playing guitar here because I. I can't play. I haven't found a rehearsal space or anything yet to go play drums. So I've been listening to a lot of Ozzy and with like Randy Rhodes. Those albums are fun, man. They're just. They're fucking great. Why is the second one. I can never keep track of the names either. Diary of your Madman, Bark at the Moon. And then one of those is the Jakey Lee album. Mark of the Moon. Diary of a Madman. Oh, hang on a second. I got him in my phone, right? I can look these things up. I do have this ability library. All right. O Z, Z Y O Z Osborne. Oh, Blizzard of Oz. Diary of Madman.
A
Okay, that was.
B
Yeah, Blizzard.
A
Blizzard of Oz. Diary of a Madman. That's just fucking. That's the one. Diary of a madman is 28 minutes. I never understood why it's so short. Like the first one he does with Randy.
B
I can't tell how long it is because I hate how every time you download a fucking album now they gotta have like 50 fucking outtakes or something. It's like, can I just get. I never get just the original one. I think there was.
A
Oh, you looking at me looking at you. Non LP B side. I can see why that was not on the album.
B
That was a weak one.
A
There's like the last two Steal Away. And you looking at me.
B
You look.
A
Looking at me looking at you with like album fillers.
B
But everything else on that album is killer.
A
I will tell you the one that I is unexpected. That does almost doesn't sound like the band and just sounds like it was for. Like they wrote it for a movie. Is that no Bone movies. And I don't mean because it's about movies or whatever, but like just it's. It's a lot lighter and poppier sounding.
B
Than the rest of the fucking album. But God damn, Randy Rhodes wrote some great fucking songs. And Jakey Lee, you got. You got to hand it to Ozzy. That guy could fucking pick a guitar player. I've been listening to a lot of that shit. But anyway, fucking babbling here. Where am I? Here the fuck are the goddamn. Roy. Where the fucking leads, mate?
A
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B
Okay, here we go girls in sports.
A
Hi there Bramble Burr, longtime listener and fan here and I'm also a millennial. Oh, a lady. I love when the ladies write in. A millennial mom of two. Congratulations. You are blessed. I say that I'm a millennial because my relative age will be important in the rest of the email. The last MMP you read an email from a man who had to endure sitting through a woman's cricket match before a men's match that they wanted to see. This is just my perspective and I don't speak for all women. Mainstream women's sports weren't really a thing growing up in the 90s and aughts the 2000s. So my formative years of developing personality and interest didn't include women's sports because they weren't mainstream on the professional level. I played volleyball and tennis in high school, but would only see those sports played by women on programs like the Olympics. Tennis. You didn't see women's tennis. Women's tennis Was amazing. When you were coming up, you had the Williams sisters, arguably the fucking peak of.
B
Martina Hingis.
A
My whole life, women's tennis has been the shit. Billie Jean King when I was a kid, into Chris Everett Lloyd, Martina Navratilova.
B
Steffi Graff.
A
Then you had all.
B
Yeah, the Williams sisters, Lindsey Davenport, I forgot Monica Selles.
A
Yeah.
B
And they were all fucking, you know, a lot of Hardys in there too. There was reason to watch there and they were great. And the game was played at a high level.
A
Like when I watched women's tennis. I actually prefer women's tennis because it's three sets to five.
B
Watching a men's five set tennis match is fucking exhausting. I don't know how the hell they do it, but I feel like women's tennis has always been there anyway. Not to mention I had to watch the Olympics.
A
Not to mention being surrounded by boys growing up making fun of women's teams or women's abilities didn't help. I'm happy that these sports exist now for my daughter when she gets older and might have an interest. Yeah, absolutely. And they're just gonna. The level is gonna keep getting better. I remember when women came into the fucking ufc.
B
I was like, I don't want to see this.
A
This is gonna be awful. And all of a sudden it's like, this is amazing. So I would say women's tennis and.
B
Women professional fighting, I don't see a drop off in like the performance level. You know, I know men are stronger and they hit the fucking ball faster or they punch hard or whatever, but, like, when you're watching two women fighting, it, it's not like, you know, I.
A
Don'T know, it looks good to me anyway. I'm also excited that these exist for my son to also see this representation sport.
B
Yeah.
A
So we all, us guys can stop.
B
Being meatheads about it. Well, you know, it also doesn't help that, you know, you're asking for equal pay when you're not selling tickets or playing on the same level. That was also a little ridiculous, you know, and the amount of guys that get taken to the cleaners in fucking divorce court, you know, it taps into all of that. So it isn't 100% us being meatheads.
A
But it is a lot anyway. And to answer a follow up on why I don't follow any professional women's sports, now I'm broke and being a busy mother to two children and working full time in this economy, I was very excited and made a point to play a lot of Olympic coverage for my kids. I even bought a Globe to help visualize where people are from, where they're from. This is so ridiculous. The amount of people that are struggling.
B
Out there because of these fucking billionaires. And they got us all arguing liberal and conservative, we gotta stop doing that. Like, I am so tired of hearing about people going to bed worried about what's going to happen next week. There is so much fucking money this country, and there's so much work being done, you know, and if you work a full fucking week at a job, you should be able to pay your fucking rent. You shouldn't have to go out and get another fucking job and still be struggling. It's bad for the country because then the kids don't see their parents, so they're not getting the upbringing that they need. It's so fucking. These, these fucking billionaires, they need to be put down, you know, like fucking rabid dogs. They like rabid with fucking greed and just going out and just dividing everybody, you know, just the. The fucking epitome of this time right now, like, how divisive we are that like, you know, the Gulf of Mexico is now called the Gulf of America. And people get excited. Like, how the fuck does that help your wallet? It's an empty gesture. And then it's also like a racist gesture.
A
Like, you.
B
That's the white guy under. That's him saying fuck Mexicans without saying it. You know, like, who has a fucking problem with Mexicans? Like, what is the real problem? This is just such an ugly fucking time. Yeah, that just sucks. That sucks. People fucking broke. Anyway, I really became fascinated with the pentathlon in particular. Again, just my perspective on why maybe there aren't great turnouts for more women supporting women in sports today. I love hearing your parent parenting adventures, and I hope Nia and the kids are well.
A
Kindest regards. Yeah, those are all fucking great points. And, you know, a lot of. A lot of men making fun of.
B
How bad the WNBA looks or whatever, never made a basketball team in their life. So there's also that it's a nice fucking outlet.
A
The same way if somebody fucks up in sports, you know, used to be.
B
Called the goat of the game. Used to mean you fucked up. Now that somehow that means greatest of all time. But if you choked, you know, like a guy like Skip Bayless seems to love going off on people that like, choked during the game.
A
And you look at Skip Bayless, I.
B
Mean, you're in gym class.
A
Are you picking Skip Bayless? I just think that there's you know, I, I get being upset that someone on your team fucked it up, but taking it to the point of trying.
B
To fucking, you know.
A
You know, tweeting at the person and.
B
People getting death threats and shit like that. That has nothing to do with the game.
A
That has to do with you and whatever the fuck is going on in your life.
B
All right, plowing ahead here. What's the next one here? What happened? Girls in sports. All right, drones at the beach.
A
Hey, Billy. Big nuts, longtime listener, first time writer. I'm running to to you to hear your opinion and vent on something that's pissing me off. Fuck.
B
You know what's pissing me off?
A
Every time I fucking go to scroll on the screen, it goes back up.
B
To the top here.
A
But you know what?
B
I don't get as mad as I used to. I don't give a fuck.
A
It's kind of nice.
B
I'm sitting on a beach in Malaysia.
A
Sandy Skull beach in Langa Langawi. It's incredible place. White sand and crystal blue water surrounded. Oh my God, is Brooke Shields walking around out there? Surrounded by a thick lush rainforest full of palms and green vegetation. I can hear the birds chirping, there's monkeys swinging in the trees. And a mix of locals with their children playing in the sand and tourists. It's a beautiful scene. It sounds like it. Then suddenly I hear a buzzing sound and I notice two drones flying above me, sweeping over the water on the beach. Notice these two middle aged men with their Game Boy controllers in their hands looking into a screen at footage the drone is capturing. Yeah, these things are still new and there's no legislation. Yeah, no one's gonna want that. Or what's gonna happen is regular people are all gonna have to deal with it. But if you're in a billionaire gated.
B
Community, it'll be a no fly zone.
A
And if you fly in there, all like legal branches will be mobilized to.
B
Find you and track you down. But everybody else can just deal with it. Kind of the way everybody else can deal with, you know, potentially getting shot in the back in New York. But if a CEO happens though, we gotta find this guy.
A
I feel rage bubbling inside of me. I know I should probably be able.
B
To move past this.
A
No, no, you're at the fucking beach. It's annoying, he says, but fuck me, it's annoying. Yes. The sound of the drone overtakes any of the natural serenity on the beach. And I see half naked children and women in bikinis being filmed by these creeps. I Tried staring at them to inform them of my disgust. I've tried mouthing you cunts at them. I know it's immature, but I'm in the mood to confront these nerds. You look what they're doing with your enjoyment. Am I wrong for feeling this? Is it an invasion of privacy? I'd have to say, you're a young person if you're questioning if that's an invasion of your privacy. Because people are so used to just having their privacy invaded, it doesn't seem to bother anyone else. Thanks for all the laughs. I hope to see you live in Melbourne sometime in the future. Yeah, 100%. It's selfish fucking behavior. It's weird. It's voyeuristic.
B
You know, listen, back in the day, they didn't have drones. When I was growing up, they had model airplanes. And those fucking weirdos would go. Go to a parking lot and they would just do it there, and everybody who was there was into it. You wouldn't, like, start flying a model plane, buzzing over people's heads, and you certainly wouldn't have a camera on it. Here's something.
A
I wonder if you made something, you couldn't make it specifically for shooting down drones.
B
It would have to be.
A
You would have to make. Make it seem like it was for something else, but like it was actually for shooting down drones.
B
Because I have.
A
I gotta be honest with you. How exciting do drones become when you suddenly have something to shoot it out of the air and then fucking back trace the frustration, as that guy said, famously. Well, we're gonna fucking backtrace this. I'm not a fan of drones, but.
B
If I had something in my hand.
A
That could shoot it out of the sky, I would be very excited.
B
Now, obviously, I'm not talking about a gun.
A
All right, relax, gun owners. This is what you do. Speaking of guns, you go skeet shooting. So you get good at this shit, right? And then you go out and you buy this fucking thing. What you do?
B
Oh, it's sold as, like a toy. That's what it is. Oh, my God.
A
Kids.
B
Skeet shooting. And whatever the projectile is, it can't hurt somebody. All right, this is. This is where it's going to get hard.
A
It can't hurt somebody or put their.
B
Eye out or else you can't make it. But if you somehow had it. Oh, I know what it was. It's like a spider man web. It actually shoots a web. Because what if the web went on the fucking thing? It would. It would definitely take the thing down out of the Sky. And if it's high enough, then it fucking breaks. Oh, that would be fantastic. That would be fantastic. I mean, let's be honest.
A
In a perfect world, you shoot the.
B
Fucking drone down and then you wait for the person to come up who's all pissed off and then you shoot him. Tase them. You don't want to kill him. That's somebody's loved one, but, you know, whatever. Tase them something. You do something. I. I don't know. I haven't worked it all out, but I don't think you're wrong for being frustrated. Women ruined Valentine's Day.
A
Dear Billy Burbank Airport. After a number of awful Valentine's Days with different women, I refuse to celebrate the holiday anymore. Last year's Valentine's Day was the straw.
B
That broke the camel's back. I have a solution for all this and I'll read this here.
A
I live paycheck to pay another guy.
B
Paycheck to paycheck.
A
And don't have much disposable income. Yeah, because of billionaires and corporate greed.
B
And capitalism that is no longer regulated.
A
I got my girlfriend a heart shaped pizza and tied two heart shaped balloons on the box. It's hokey, but it's all I could afford.
B
Yeah, that's just something romantic.
A
There's something Bon Jovi about that. Tommy used to work on the dock. He's living paycheck to paycheck. He's down on his luck.
B
It's the.
A
Gina, works at a Pizza Hut. Whatever. We ate the pizza together while we watched our favorite show. After we were done, I noticed she looked unhappy. I asked her what was wrong and she said, I was hoping you would do something special for me this year.
B
Jesus Christ. What the fuck are you doing for him?
A
Nothing. Anyway, I asked her what she meant by that and she replied with, I don't know. The conversation that followed was basically me asking her in a different way what was the expectation that I didn't meet. What was it that you wanted to do this year? And she answered all my questions with the variation of I don't know. Yeah, because she knows if she answers it, she's being selfish. And then also she's just like, well, I don't want to tell. Tell you what I want. You should be able to figure it out. I want to see you use your imagination. Meanwhile, they're not. What is she doing for you anyway? After some.
B
Oh, God. All right, all right. Big inhale, big exhale. Cover one eye. Look up in the air.
A
For some reason, people say that this is supposed to.
B
Okay, after some prying.
A
Look at me.
B
I'm all relaxed now.
A
I finally figured out what the problem was. She showed me what her friends were up to on Instagram. One friend had her boyfriend take her to Catalina Island. Another went to an expensive restaurant at the top of the tallest building in Los Angeles. Another got a human sized teddy bear.
B
Oh, you're gonna regret that purchase. The fuck are you gonna do with that now? Now you got a bean bag nobody.
A
Can sit on and all my girlfriend's got. All my girlfriend got was a fucking pizza. I get it.
B
I'm poor.
A
But isn't it the thought that counts? Did you notice in all those stories, none of those women are doing anything for the men? They don't have to make any gesture. All they have to do is dress up their puss and show up to whatever the fuck you got up. After finding out the true reason why she was upset, I just told her, again, I'm sorry, it won't happen again. She probably thought I meant that.
B
Oh, my God. Oh, my God, dude, you said, I'm sorry, it won't happen again, and you meant, I'm not celebrating Valentine's, and you deliberately worded it that way. Dude, that is fucking. That is cold blooded, dude. See what these corporate. See what these corporate fucking cunts do to you? They created an argument because you didn't play the corporate game and spend money that you didn't have on shit that she didn't need. She probably thought I meant that next year I'm going to save up money and do something Instagram worthy for her. Really, I meant it won't happen again because I'm refusing to celebrate the holiday anymore. Hey, dude, hats off to you, but, you know, you really have to be careful here and understand, have a little bit of empathy that she's also, you know, she's not looking through her third eye here, all right? She's on Instagram. She's looking at this. She's looking at how this whole thing plays out. And she's not stepping back from the Matrix and realizing how stupid this is.
A
Anyway, this isn't the first woman I've.
B
Been with that expects lavish gifts and to be pampered on Valentine's Day. A past girlfriend refused my suggestion of going to a movie and a dinner because we can do that on any other time of the year anyway. Another past girlfriend literally said, is that it? All right, dude, you got to kind of look at the women you're attracting here.
A
After I played an original love Song.
B
I wrote about her on the guitar.
A
I've only ever been. Dude, if you did that in the fucking 1800s, she wrote a. Would have wrote like a fucking nine page letter of thanks the next day with a feather. I've only ever been with one woman that expected nothing on Valentine's Day and found the concept of the holiday silly like I do. Unfortunately, fortunately, she broke up with me after realizing she's actually a lesbian. Maybe that's why she didn't. That was probably the true reason she didn't like the holiday. Like, oh, God, he's gonna come at me with that fucking meat hammer I had. I hate how to many women, Valentine's Day isn't about love. It's about competition. How it's always on the man to come up with the thing to do for that day. And it better be good, or else you're an asshole. Valentine's Day is coming up soon, and I have zero plans for her. I know if I ask her what she wants, she's going to say something out of my price range. I'm in a. In a damned if I do, damned if I don't situation.
B
And I hate this hot what?
A
That this holiday has been ruined this way. Well, you put yourself in that situation by delivering that fucking misdirection line.
B
All right?
A
You're setting yourself up for this fucking huge argument and now there's no way out of it because now it's a few days before. All right, you should have clarified what the fuck you meant. And if you really love this woman.
B
You know, you have to communicate it.
A
If you want to keep her. So what me and the lovely Nia did a long time ago was we.
B
Agreed that it's a holiday, but it's.
A
Like, I still love you and I.
B
Love taking you out to dinner or like, getting you. I'm just not doing it on Valentine's Day when everything is triple the fucking price and you got to get a reservation fucking three months earlier. Yeah, it's. It's a stupid fucking holiday that was just invented to go out there and get guys, you know, to put pressure on guys to propose to women, to buy him shit and all of that.
A
And it's just yet another classic fucking thing where that Valentine's Day for women.
B
Is a fucking holiday for men. It's a fucking nightmare.
A
And what's funny is if you really. If you really want to see the power dynamic of a relationship, how much it's in the woman's hands is how much Valentine's Day is validated and then there's some day for guys in March. And I don't even know what the.
B
Fucking name of it is. Is. Or is it like some Sadie Hawk?
A
Is this something that's like. There's a word out there like that me is a woman that just hates men. And it begins with M. Everybody knows.
B
Misogynist.
A
Nobody knows the other way around. Because the way women abuse their power is not acknowledged. Men abuse their power in the. In the fucking working world. And they abused it for a long time. And now we're in a new world of fucking post. Me too. And social media. So it's toned down a little bit, but not totally. Women abuse their power in the relationship. Maybe that's why men excel in business because their home life is so hopeless. I don't know, dude, but that make that makes me sad that she thinks you're gonna do something for.
B
Your know.
A
There'S a whole bunch of things like.
B
Women are a lot easier than men realize.
A
There's a whole bunch of little things that you can do just over the.
B
Course of a day to, you know, make them feel loved and all of that stuff. And you should have had a mature comp.
A
You're in a fucking. You're in a pickle, dude. You're in a.
B
You're in a fucking situation. You're really gonna hurt a dude.
A
You're really gonna hurt her this.
B
This year. And I almost think you have to fucking do something.
A
You know what? If I was you, what I would do is I would actually do something this year. Then after you did it, just tell her the next day, just be like, I have to work all these extra hours for that, you know, I was planning on not doing anything, but I knew that I was gonna hurt you. And I love you.
B
I don't want to hurt you.
A
So I went ahead and I bought this thing that I couldn't fucking afford, okay?
B
But, you know, until I find what.
A
It is that I'm.
B
That I do in the matrix that makes me enough money, you know, we have to have adult conversation about Valentine's Day, okay? I'm still paying for this shit over Christmas. I just got the bills for that. The first installments in January. And now here we go with this shit. That would have been the way to do it.
A
Good luck.
B
All right. All right. I gotta. I gotta wrap this up here.
A
Newly moved in.
B
Hey, Billy.
A
Hey, Billy.
B
Boiler tits. You know, I'm really getting tired of these fucking comments that I'm out of shape, okay? I still got pecs, dude. I'm sliding into 60 and I still got a fucking nice chest.
A
My chesticles are fucking. Still saluting the flag. There's fucking.
B
People in their goddamn 30s have man tits.
A
Not this ginge. My girlfriend and I just moved in together. It's been two weeks and everything's great.
B
Aside from the fuckload of boxes.
A
Any advice or tips for young people starting out living together? She's not my first girlfriend, but the first one I live with and we love each other greatly. I'm definitely feeling she's the one. Thanks for all the laughs. Come do a show in Middletown, California. Go fuck yourself. What are you asking me? Can I help you with the fact.
B
That a woman has a bunch of shit? You know what? I can't.
A
That's what they have. They have a bunch of shit. And guess what?
B
All that shit they have, they're over.
A
90% of it in the moment. It was going to make them. That made them feel good to buy it and now they don't even need it. And you're going to buy them shit for Valentine's Day and they're going to be so happy. You know, whatever you buy, shoes, purse, bag, it's going to be laying on the floor. You know, I love when you buy them the shoes they wanted and then you go in there and you see like one's upright, the other one's laying on its side. Like one shoe knocked out the other one and they're just all like, they.
B
Just threw it in the fucking closet.
A
And you go, look at you just fucking. I didn't throw it all. I was late for. They just do that shit. All right, four chord songs. Hey, Billy String fingers. A suggestion from a guitar teacher. I would consider going on a run of learning a lot of classic four chord songs. Not so much the AC DC power chord type songs, but songs that are more strummy. I like songs that are more picky, you know, like you can't kill rock and roll. That intro or seasons of weather. I like that shit. I think that's a good exercise. Going up and down, not looking at what you know. I play lefty so not looking what.
B
My strumming hand is doing.
A
It can be a great way to build more finesse with your playing. All right. Heavier songs require a little less that some of the more articulated, softer song classic rock and AM rock songs you grew up with are loaded with them. That is great advice and I'm gonna take that. I will take that. Great advice. Thank you, sir. All right, that is the podcast. Congratulations to the Philadelphia Eagles winning your second super bowl championship. You know, I know you guys think nobody cares about you, but I do care about you. I think you have a great city, and I hope you find love. I hope all your dreams come true because you're fellow Americans, and I don't give a fuck which way you voted. You know why? Because fuck CNN and fuck FOX News. God bless you, and congratulations to all the Chiefs fans out there.
B
You had a great fucking run and all of that.
A
And you know you still got your guy there, right? You got all the people there. I don't think Taylor Swift broke up with Travis Kelsey and. And whatnot. And that's it. All right, I got to go to work. Go fuck yourselves. Well, that's divisive. I can't tell you not to be divisive. Do I have to chamber? That's the catchphrase. That's my money maker. People show up every week to hear it. All right, go yourselves. I'll talk to you on Thursday.
Monday Morning Podcast – Super Bowl, Drones, Valentine's Day Grift | February 10, 2025
Hosted by All Things Comedy
Bill Burr returns to the Monday Morning Podcast on February 10, 2025, delivering his characteristic blend of humor, rants, and insightful commentary on contemporary issues. This episode, titled Super Bowl, Drones, Valentine's Day Grift, delves into a variety of topics ranging from sports controversies to modern relationship dynamics. Below is a detailed summary capturing the key discussions, notable quotes, and the hosts' perspectives.
The episode kicks off with Bill Burr’s frustrations surrounding recent sports events, particularly focusing on the Super Bowl. He criticizes the excessive length of the game and the overshadowing of crucial plays by commercial interruptions.
Burr elaborates on his experience attending a Knicks vs. Celtics game, highlighting perceived biases in refereeing decisions favoring the home team during national games.
The discussion extends to broader concerns about corruption in sports, questioning the integrity of referees and the influence of corporate interests on game outcomes.
Transitioning from sports, the hosts engage in a humorous debate about men wearing shorts during wintertime. They critique this trend as a form of attention-seeking, comparing it to unrealistic fashion standards.
The conversation underscores the hosts' disdain for what they perceive as unnecessary and impractical fashion choices motivated by the desire to attract attention.
Bill shares his recent experience performing at Gotham Comedy Club, expressing dissatisfaction with his own performance despite a supportive crowd.
He then dives into movie reviews, praising "The 7 Ups" for its authentic portrayal of early '70s America and its iconic car chase scenes reminiscent of "Bullitt."
His appreciation for classic cinema is evident as he recommends the movie for its gritty realism and compelling performances.
The podcast shifts focus to music, with Bill discussing his admiration for Ozzy Osbourne’s albums. He critiques the modern album structures, favoring the classic heavy metal over contemporary pop influences.
This segment highlights Burr’s passion for music that maintains artistic integrity and substantive content.
Listeners' emails bring forth discussions on women in sports and relationship challenges. Bill and his co-host tackle issues such as the lack of mainstream presence for women’s sports during formative years and the complexities of modern relationships influenced by social media.
The hosts emphasize the importance of representation and support for women in sports, acknowledging the progress made while recognizing ongoing challenges.
A listener’s anecdote about drones disrupting the tranquility of Sandy Skull Beach in Langkawi, Malaysia, sparks a debate on privacy and technological intrusion in public spaces.
The discussion explores potential solutions to drone nuisances, balancing technological advancements with personal privacy and public enjoyment.
One of the most emotionally charged segments revolves around Valentine’s Day frustrations. A listener shares his struggles with meeting societal and partner expectations during the holiday, exacerbated by financial constraints and social media pressures.
The hosts offer candid advice on communication and managing expectations within relationships, critiquing the commercialization and competitive nature of Valentine’s Day.
Towards the end of the episode, Bill and his co-host share personal anecdotes about moving in with significant others, addressing common challenges such as household organization and differing habits.
They humorously discuss the realities of cohabitation, including the adjustments and compromises required to maintain a harmonious living environment.
In wrapping up, Bill congratulates Eagles fans on their Super Bowl victory while expressing mixed feelings towards Chiefs fans, maintaining a playful yet divisive tone that is characteristic of his engaging style.
He concludes the episode by encouraging listeners to embrace authenticity over divisiveness, leaving the audience with his signature blend of humor and candid perspective.
Throughout this episode, Bill Burr masterfully navigates a spectrum of topics with his trademark unfiltered humor and sharp observational skills. From critiquing sports integrity and modern fashion to delving into personal relationship struggles and technological privacy concerns, the Monday Morning Podcast offers listeners a compelling and entertaining discourse on the multifaceted aspects of contemporary life.
Notable Quotes:
Bill Burr on Super Bowl Length: "It's so awful why the Super Bowl has to be that goddamn long." ([15:12] B)
On Men Wearing Shorts in Winter: "That's the male version of a chick with like fake titties." ([03:14] A)
Movie Review of "The 7 Ups": "The car chase is just like Bullitt where Steve McQueen was driving by himself." ([07:49] B)
On Drones Invading Beach Serenity: "The sound of the drone overtakes any of the natural serenity on the beach." ([47:00] A)
Valentine’s Day Relationship Advice: "You have to communicate it if you want to keep her." ([61:22] B)
This comprehensive summary encapsulates the essence of the February 10, 2025, episode of the Monday Morning Podcast, offering both regular listeners and newcomers a clear and engaging overview of the discussions and insights shared by Bill Burr and his co-host.