Super Bowl, The Bay Area, Birds | Monday Morning Podcast 2-9-26

Summary

Monday Morning Podcast 2-9-26: Super Bowl, The Bay Area, Birds

Host: Bill Burr
Date: February 9, 2026

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Main Theme & Purpose

In this episode, Bill Burr offers his signature blend of rants and comedic storytelling, recapping his Super Bowl weekend trip to the Bay Area. He discusses the Patriots' tough loss, culture clashes in San Francisco and Berkeley, amusing interactions with fans and celebrities, and delivers tongue-in-cheek takes on everything from AI and tech bros to the worst birds and 80s TV mustaches. The episode is a blend of sports analysis, cultural observation, nostalgic humor, and Bill’s personal adventures and irreverent opinions.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Super Bowl Recap & Patriots’ Loss

• Immediate Reaction: Bill laments the Patriots' performance, describing it as a complete domination by Seattle, particularly praising running back Kenneth Walker III's MVP-level play.
• Offensive Struggles:
  • “That left side of our offensive line, they weren’t even going around them, they were just pushing our linemen into the quarterback.” [01:00]
  • Buries the offense for giving their QB (Drake) no chance: "How are you supposed to get into any sort of a rhythm if you have one and a half seconds to get rid of the ball and you keep going three and out?” [01:13]
• Defensive Praise & Realism:
  • Appreciates defensive effort: “Our defense played great. I can’t believe they didn’t get tired sooner.” [01:52]
  • “We just ran into a team that was just...on another level.” [01:59]
  • Recognizes Seattle’s historic, turnover-free playoff run.

2. Halftime Show & Culture

• Bad Bunny’s Halftime Show:
  • Calls it “one of the greatest halftime shows I’ve ever seen.” [03:00]
  • Praises high production value and artistic creativity: “...like the level of creativity, production – the amount of layers was incredible.” [03:18]
• Music & Diversity:
  • Takes a dig at critics upset by Spanish-language performances: “All of these people walk around and call people snowflakes, can’t handle that somebody sang his music.” [16:43]
  • “I loved all the music, whether it was in English, Spanish, it was sung by somebody straight, somebody gay, somebody in the middle. I don’t give a sh*t. Just be cool.” [48:24]

3. Bay Area Adventures & Hollywood Schmoozing

• Industry Mingling:
  • Bill shares his experiences schmoozing to find movie funding: “We’re making some stuff. ... our business is shrinking, as they say.” [06:16]
  • Parties at the Cow Palace (“incredible, just like time travel to an old rock venue” [07:07]) and Guy Fieri’s oversized event.
  • Anecdote: Being offered to be a vaccine spokesperson by a random guy in a parking lot, which he finds exceedingly shady and awkward. [08:24–10:06]

4. Comedy & Nightlife

• Chappelle and Club Appearances:
  • Guest spot at Dave Chappelle’s show in the Warriors’ arena; praises the positive backstage vibe and camaraderie.
  • “It was like my head was spinning looking at all those things. I’m still a fan.” [11:06]
  • Tries out new material at the Punchline Comedy Club, credits old friend Molly Schmincke for helping the night.

5. Hilarious Encounters

• Fan Interactions:
  • Funny moments with fans, e.g., a Libyan fan in a 7-Eleven patiently correcting Bill on geography, and a random airport encounter with an exuberant Virginian:
    • “He had no idea what my name was. But the way that Internet guy in the video ... My buddy just bursted out laughing.” [52:20]
• Being the Old Guys at Parties:
  • “We stayed there for like six minutes and we were just laughing at how old we are. ... I immediately felt just like a chaperone.” [50:24]

6. Tech Bros, AI, and Social Commentary

• San Francisco Tech Culture Critique:
  • “The amount of times I read the word ‘human’ and ‘AI’ ... these tech bros ... people think nerds are harmless. These people are – they’re out of their f*cking minds.” [17:28]
  • Rants about AI, privacy, surveillance, and the end of cash: “They’re gonna phase out cash, they’re gonna phase out cars...” [18:32]
  • “This is like that movie Weird Science, except it’s not about pussy. It’s about controlling the world.” [19:13]

7. Berkeley Vibes & Culinary Highlights

• Observations on Berkeley:
  • “Berkeley’s all like f*cking liberal, man, and so it’s a fun vibe up there.” [21:55]
  • Encounters with stereotypes: “...one guy walking down the street...the man bun, the giant f*cking pants...I love Berkeley sweatshirt.” [22:03]
• Food & Hospitality:
  • Shouts out Chef Joseph at the Claremont Hotel’s Limewood Bar: “Prime rib sliders that were just incredible. ... He was cool as hell.” [21:13]

8. Relationship Advice, Life Stages, and Parenting

• On Getting Older & Social Circles:
  • “I haven’t realized. I have not interacted with people in their 20s. I can’t even remember ... All of a sudden, all your friends become like married couples with kids.” [51:00]
• Parenting Reflections:
  • “I almost missed my window to be a dad. And it’s been the greatest thing that’s ever happened to me.” [51:35]

9. Birds, Mustaches, and Other Rants

• Top 5 Shittiest Birds:
  • 5) Emu: “Can’t fly, looks like a worm from Men in Black from the neck up. Dumb bird.” [29:55]
  • 4. Blue Jay: "Really, they’re the bullies of the bird world. Just assholes." [30:19]
  • 3. Woodpeckers: "Annoying bird ... hated Woody Woodpecker. He was a f*cking asshole." [31:28]
  • 2. Pigeons: “Everybody hates pigeons. They look dumb, but they know what’s going on.” [32:25]
  • 1. Penguins: “The male penguins give women penguins big rocks ... They also gang rape and eat their young sometimes, so maybe they shouldn’t pay taxes.” [33:11]
• 80s TV Mustaches:
  • Riffs on classic detective shows and their formula: "All this guy needs is the right car and some sort of private investigator career and we have a hit show." [34:33]

10. NFL History, Sports Nostalgia & Trivia

• Super Bowl Stats:
  • Recites, from memory, each franchise's Super Bowl wins and QBs, comparing this Seahawks win to historical defensive beatdowns:
    • “That to me is that Raiders… 85 Bears… maybe the Steelers vs Vikings… a handful of defensive dominating games.” [41:11–42:19]
• Patriots Perspective:
  • “I thought if we went 8–9, 9–8, I would’ve been happy. So I think the Patriots organization way overachieved this year to get there.” [01:53]
• Why He Skips the Super Bowl in Person:
  • “I still stand by not going to the Super Bowl. ... I get if you want to go one time. I still stand by it.” [15:59]

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On being propositioned as a vaccine spokesperson:
  • “Can you be a spokesperson for vaccines? It’s like, why are you doing this in a parking lot, man? This all feels like it’s already shady.” [10:06]
• On halftime show variety backlash:
  • “All of these people walk around and call people snowflakes, can’t handle that somebody sang his music.” [16:43]
• On tech culture and AI threats:
  • “These tech bros ... people think nerds are harmless. These people are—they’re out of their fucking minds.” [17:28]
• On life and parenting:
  • “I almost missed my window to be a dad. And it’s been the greatest thing that’s really ever happened to me.” [51:35]
• On getting older at parties:
  • “...immediately felt just like a chaperone. We stayed there for like, six minutes...laughing at how old we are.” [50:24]
• On cultural differences in locker room habits:
  • “In that locker room at that place I was staying at was that level of white dude … just walk around with just their junk out. They don’t give a sh*t.” [36:26]
• On NFL trivia addiction:
  • “Why do I know all of this sht? Why do I need to know this sht? ... Bread and circus.” [44:54]
• On the power of kindness:
  • “You ever meet somebody, they make your face hurt. They make you smile so hard. He was the nicest f*cking guy ever.” [52:20]

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• Super Bowl breakdown & analysis: 00:40–05:54
• Halftime Show & culture talk: 03:00–03:56, 16:03-17:21
• Guy Fieri & vaccine pitch anecdote: 06:37–10:06
• Dave Chappelle show backstage & Punchline sets: 10:44–12:30
• Fan interactions & Libyan encounter: 13:15–13:59
• Tech bros/AI rant: 17:28–20:27
• Berkeley reflections & stereotypes: 21:11–22:25
• Top 5 shittiest birds: 28:41–33:12
• Epstein Files/cynicism on power: 33:12–34:02
• NFL Super Bowl trivia lightning round: 43:06–47:53
• Parenting & life stage reflections: 51:00–51:35
• Kind fan encounters (airport & airplane): 51:50–54:07

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Distinctive Language & Tone

Bill’s tone is irreverent, self-deprecating, and raw. He bounces between exasperated rants, nostalgic sports wisdom, and moments of heartfelt gratitude. The podcast is peppered with expletives, quick-fire jokes, and off-beat analogies—delivering the humor and catharsis fans have come to expect.

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Summary

Bill Burr’s Super Bowl/Bay Area episode is packed with “hangout energy,” deep sports takes, and stand-up worthy anecdotes—from the Patriots’ loss to fake-vaccine sales pitches to why AI and “harmless nerds” terrify him. Whether riffing on the “shittiest birds,” rating halftime shows, or musing on parenthood and getting old at parties, Bill’s voice remains unapologetically honest and bitingly funny. A must-listen for fans of sports, comedy, and unfiltered cultural commentary.

Transcript

[Bill Burr]

Hey, what's going on? It's Bill Burr and it's time for the Monday morning podcast. But Monday, February 10, 2026. What's going on? How are ya? How's it going? Oh, Billy lost his voice here doing all that. I was up there for the super bowl weekend in the Bay Area. The Bay Area didn't go to the.

[Bill Burr's Friend]

Game as always, but I went up there and, you know, I played the game, I schmoozed, I did what I have to do.

[Bill Burr]

That that's like Showbiz Comic Con, I guess. Um, I got a bunch of funny stories. Some of them I got to kind of talk around. Um, but anyway, let's get to what.

[Bill Burr's Friend]

You want me to talk about. Let's talk about the game. I mean, that was just total domination. We got. We just were not ready for prime time. And they played mistake free football the whole playoffs. I mean, they didn't turn the ball over once, which nobody's ever done.

[Bill Burr]

And.

[Bill Burr's Friend]

That left side of our offensive line, they weren't even going around them. They were just pushing our linemen into the quarterback.

[Bill Burr]

One time a guy was getting blocked by like our center.

[Bill Burr's Friend]

He literally reached around the guy and pulled Drake down.

[Bill Burr]

I think Drake's taken way too much. It's like, how are you supposed to get into any sort of a rhythm.

[Bill Burr's Friend]

If you have one and a half seconds to get rid of the ball and you keep going three and out.

[Bill Burr]

I felt like in the third quarter.

[Bill Burr's Friend]

It finally got to him where he wasn't in a rhythm. And it was all of a sudden like, you know, it was death by a thousand field goals. You know, in those three and outs.

[Bill Burr]

We kept giving them a short field.

[Bill Burr's Friend]

And then they would go down the.

[Bill Burr]

Field and every field goal was like a chip shot. I don't think there was a 40 yard field goal the whole damn game.

[Bill Burr's Friend]

I don't know all the names here. That number zero was a nightmare for us.

[Bill Burr]

Our defense played great.

[Bill Burr's Friend]

I can't believe they didn't get tired sooner. You knew the touchdown eventually was going to come. I thought our defense played great, but I'll be honest with you, man, I thought if they went 8, 9, 9 and 8 this year, I would have been happy. So I think the Patriots organization we'd like way overachieved this year to get there. And we just ran into a team that was like just. They were just on another level. And that Kenneth Walker iii, I mean, that was an undeniable MVP performance. I mean, that guy. Jesus Christ. I don't think anybody Got him. It got him down the first hit. And there was some big guys too, hitting him. So he was a force of nature, dude. Even that punter was killing it.

[Bill Burr]

And they kept pinning us down there and then we'd go three and out.

[Bill Burr's Friend]

And then they'd get the ball in their 40 and, oh, it was just, I don't know.

[Bill Burr]

But we had a great time. We had a great time that weekend. And then the Bad Bunny thing, I don't know.

[Bill Burr's Friend]

That's one of the greatest halftime shows I've ever seen. And it's one of my favorite things about traveling is, you know, when I go to a country and I don't know, the language is figured. Trying to figure out, you know, through body language and what I'm seeing and all of that.

[Bill Burr]

And like, the level of creativity, production and all of that, people are still.

[Bill Burr's Friend]

Like, breaking down what was, you know, going on in, in that whole halftime show. It reminded me of that movie Sinners, where you could probably go see that movie 20 times and still miss half the stuff that they've. The amount of layers of, like, creativity was incredible. I mean, if you're into that type of thing, if you, you know, realize that the world is made up of all different kinds of people and there's culture and language and all of that, you see the beauty in it, you.

[Bill Burr]

Know, there was really something there to, to enjoy.

[Bill Burr's Friend]

Anyway.

[Bill Burr]

I don't know what else to say about the game. I thought I was going to do.

[Bill Burr's Friend]

Like a 10 minute thing, but it was just so thorough.

[Bill Burr]

I actually appreciate the ass kicking because it, like there was. They just sort of ripped the band aid off. It was just once we came out.

[Bill Burr's Friend]

In the second half and, you know, we get the ball back and it was just immediately more of the same. I was like, oh, God. And you just knew that eventually the touchdown was going to come. Gonzalez could only save us so many times. And like, also, I don't know, maybe we should have gone hurry up. Something, something like, I, I, that was my only thing. If we went like, tempo, because they were just kicking our ass and then congratulating each other and just walking back to that defensive huddle.

[Bill Burr]

It's like, can we just like, maybe do something for some sort of urgency? Because these guys, this is just like.

[Bill Burr's Friend]

A walk in the park for them. So anyway. But I kind of loved the game though, before it got out of hand, like a nice defensive battle, there was no flags. I know that the refs let a few things go that happened to the Pats, but I thought they kind of did that on both sides. I kind of like the no calls to be. I didn't mind that stupid fight on the sideline. You know, it's a Super Bowl.

[Bill Burr]

People want to win. People get frustrated.

[Bill Burr's Friend]

Open hand. Who gives a. Like, it's, it's football. I, I, I did. None of that bugged me. And if they threw those flags, it was not going to matter. They were, they were clearly the better team. And I will say the, the end of the game celebration. There was a lot of people in Seattle just sort of, they had zombie eyes.

[Bill Burr]

It was kind of weird, like culty. Then the owners coming out and calling.

[Bill Burr's Friend]

The fans the 12.

[Bill Burr]

It was just, that was just, that was cringy.

[Bill Burr's Friend]

They're just forever doing stuff like that.

[Bill Burr]

It's like you were the guys who told us the large and the small.

[Bill Burr's Friend]

Beer were two different sizes and they were the same.

[Bill Burr]

Stop acting like you're our friends. I'm happy for the fans, but don't buy into that 12 thing that they're doing. Like you, you hold their feet to the fire. Those are the. Would you, if you ever went over to somebody's cookout and they did that to you, would you ever go back? Would you ever trust them again?

[Bill Burr's Friend]

Come on. Anyway, but we, we went up there. I got a little production company, you know that we're, we're making some stuff. We're going to be doing a movie later on this year. So we're going up there schmoozing with all these people trying to find money for projects because our business is shrinking, as they say.

[Bill Burr]

And I went to a couple of really cool things.

[Bill Burr's Friend]

The Sports Illustrated magazine party was in the Cow Palace, a place I've always wanted to go to. Dean Del Rey always telling me about it. And you go in there and they have not. This is where like Van Halen, I always hear Van Halen playing there at the Cow palace and, and all of those bands from that era would go up there and they haven't changed the thing at all. It's incredible.

[Bill Burr]

I went in there.

[Bill Burr's Friend]

It like, when I looked up at the stands in, it reminded me of like the odd in Buffalo where the Sabres used to play, or Boston Garden with like those yellow seats and the, in the metal railings and this old school, like Pepsi scoreboard. It was so cool. And we went back there the next day. Guy Fieri had like this massive, massive, massive, massive. I don't think people realize how famous that guy is. Massive. Like the Cow palace was too small for what he was doing. It was like they were in the parking lot.

[Bill Burr]

They had this giant stage in dry.

[Bill Burr's Friend]

Ice and all of these, like, hall of fame football players, and they had all of this food and everything.

[Bill Burr]

And.

[Bill Burr's Friend]

I got to meet him and gave him a cigar. He's a cigar smoker, and he couldn't have been nicer. He was just really, like. He was a really, really nice guy. Was great thing, you know, when you meet somebody like that. He was a sweetheart, right? So then I'm like, walking out of there. I probably shouldn't tell this story. This guy comes up to me, he.

[Bill Burr]

Goes, hey, Bill Burr. Hey. I go, hey, how you doing? He go, can I talk for you a second? I go, yeah. He goes, yeah, would you be interested? And being a. He just said all these letters, like a DTTF thing, you know, for my company. Da, da, da, da, da, you know, And I'm trying to meet these people so I can get money for my project. So, you know, I'm playing the game. I'm like.

[Bill Burr's Friend]

I'm like.

[Bill Burr]

I don't. I don't know what that is. He goes to be like a spokesperson for. For our product. And I go, well, what's your. I'm standing in a parking lot outside of the Cow palace, and this guy. I go, what's your product?

[Bill Burr's Friend]

He goes, it's a vaccine.

[Bill Burr]

And then immediately goes, now, you're not one of these weirdos that doesn't like vaccines, are you? And I'm just. And I go, that's how you start your sales pitch. You're immediately just going to like, I'm an idiot if I don't. We mean, vaccines is a big subject. I mean, I love that I never got polio. Are we talking about that or what.

[Bill Burr's Friend]

Are we talking about?

[Bill Burr]

Now all of a sudden, there's like 600 different vaccines. It kind of seems like the prostate check, where first you got to do it around 50, 48, 45, 40. And they just keep moving it down so you get checked more, which is a good thing. But it becomes a moneymaker, you know? I mean, that's capitalism. Who thought sticking your finger in somebody's fucking ass, whatever the hell they do, is the thing to exploit? So I say that to him and he just.

[Bill Burr's Friend]

I don't know. And he's just talking to me, and.

[Bill Burr]

I just said, dude, I'm not selling.

[Bill Burr's Friend]

The vaccine as somebody who dyes their hair, right?

[Bill Burr]

He goes. He goes, I don't dye my hair. And I laughed and I walked away as he was, like, touching the top of his head.

[Bill Burr's Friend]

So I don't know.

[Bill Burr]

I was. If that guy's. Listen, I was just teasing. I'm bald, man. Where the fuck do I get up saying that? It just struck. I didn't know how to get out of the conversation. It just felt creepy. Can you be a spokesperson for vaccines? It's like, why are you doing this in a parking lot, man? This all feels like it's already shady. Anyway, so I had a great time at that.

[Bill Burr's Friend]

And we went to a couple other DraftKings things. We went to a couple of these things and it was funny. Like, we. We would do a lap and we.

[Bill Burr]

Would schmooze and then we would just.

[Bill Burr's Friend]

Me and my buddies would just go to the corner. We would end up running into somebody that we knew and we would just sit. I don't know.

[Bill Burr]

We.

[Bill Burr's Friend]

I don't know what the we did. We just were laughing our asses off, like the whole weekend. Oh, also, I got to. I did a guest spot on Dave Chappelle's show at the. The new place where the Golden State warriors play. I went in there. That was, you know, obviously one of the highlights where I went in. You know, the vibe backstage was just like super positive, super chill. And then, you know, I'm not gonna name any names, but, you know, you go into the green room at a Chappelle event, it's just like, Jesus. I. It was like my head was spinning looking at all those things. You know, I'm still a fan, right? And then we went out and did the show and he's got like a great crowd. I got to see Donnell Rawlings, Ashy Larry. And, you know, we used to do. We used to do the Rich tour way back with the late great Charlie Murphy, rest his soul. So it was great to see him. Had to fucking follow him, which is not. There's no easy task. But the crowd was great. And. And the night before that, to prepare it in between parties, I went over to the Punchline, which is still one of my favorite comedy clubs of all time, and Molly Schmincke came down and I went up and I, you know, I'm trying all this new stupid material. Stupid in a good way, a fun, lighter way or whatever. And it was.

[Bill Burr]

It just worked.

[Bill Burr's Friend]

It was awesome. And then, you know, we went to Little Italy. Just had a bunch of great food. We went to this cigar bar, which, by the way, Old Billy's on the way. I'm back on. Back on the 100 day sabbatical. I smoked three cigars watching that super bowl.

[Bill Burr]

Just like Jesus Christ, I gotta have something enjoyable.

[Bill Burr's Friend]

Although, you know, one of my buddies, we went over to his brother's house and he has like this just amazing backyard, like, set up. And he smoked some ribs and he had this. And he had some Mexican food too, Italian cookies. I mean, it was pretty insane. So we had a great time doing that. And it was just, just. I don't know. I don't know what it was. It was just. Everything was hilarious. I went to a 711 because I had to buy a lighter and I was walking out. This guy you like, you that comedian guy, right? Yeah. Hey, man, what's going on? And he goes, can I get a picture? I go, yeah. And he goes, he goes, take a picture with me. He goes, yeah.

[Bill Burr]

He goes.

[Bill Burr's Friend]

He goes, I love you, man.

[Bill Burr]

He goes. He goes, I'm from Libya.

[Bill Burr's Friend]

And then he goes like, that's.

[Bill Burr]

That's from. That's in Africa.

[Bill Burr's Friend]

I thought he was like, you know, making fun of me. And I go, yeah, I know it's next to Albania. I know.

[Bill Burr]

I know where it is. Like, I thought.

[Bill Burr's Friend]

I thought he was like going like, duh, you fucking stupid American.

[Bill Burr]

But then when he went to say goodbye, I realized he had a speech impediment. And I almost. I almost. I almost imitate him because I thought he was making fun of me because I'm such a defensive walled off idiot.

[Bill Burr's Friend]

I'm so glad I didn't do that. Jesus Christ. I don't know. Too many things. Too many funny things happened this weekend.

[Bill Burr]

It. Overall.

[Bill Burr's Friend]

It was. It was a great time, A great time, despite that absolute beatdown in the Super Bowl. But I don't know, I still enjoyed. I don't know. I love a great defense. You know what I mean?

[Bill Burr]

I be.

[Bill Burr's Friend]

You know what it kind of reminded me of?

[Bill Burr]

It reminded me of not saying.

[Bill Burr's Friend]

This is kind of disrespectful to the Redskins. They're the commanders now. They were called the Redskins back in the day when the Redskins were trying to go back to back and they played the Raiders that second year when Mike Haynes and Lester Hayes shut down, Art Monk and Charlie Brown and all of those guys, they were like the first guys that. They started wearing the scuba diver gloves to catch the ball and Lester Hayes had to stick them all over him. You know, shit was crazy back then and. But I remember, like, they were supposed to come out and they were going to dominate. I remember NFL films had done this whole thing where they showed how those guys were just shut them down the whole game. And we're just on Top of them, Mike Haynes, the former Patriot. That's back when we guys like that would come to our organization and we would for whatever reason let them go. Which was so stupid. But anyways, it was, it was just a thorough beat down and hats off to Seattle. It's got to feel good because I, you know, at least it was, I know it wasn't, this wasn't Tom and Belichick. But this is what's amazing about the Patriots.

[Bill Burr]

You know, that's the, this how many.

[Bill Burr's Friend]

Times they've been to the super bowl.

[Bill Burr]

That's the fourth team we've played for.

[Bill Burr's Friend]

The second time played the Rams twice.

[Bill Burr]

2, 0 against them. 02 against the Giants, 1 and 1.

[Bill Burr's Friend]

Against the Eagles, and 1 and 1 against the the Seattle Seahawks.

[Bill Burr]

That's pretty cool. We're 6 and 6. Oh, Billy. Win some, lose some. So I still stand by not going to the soup I get if you.

[Bill Burr's Friend]

Want to go one time. I still stand by it.

[Bill Burr]

But I gotta admit, they did something different. I felt like this year the music.

[Bill Burr's Friend]

Acts, it kind of worked and everything.

[Bill Burr]

Like Green.

[Bill Burr's Friend]

How great did Green Day sound?

[Bill Burr]

They sounded just like the, their albums.

[Bill Burr's Friend]

Way back in the day. All right, you know what's funny? I just hit pause to look up the names of everybody that performed, like the level of just garbage on the Internet. Just trying to get that answer. The list of musicians that played at the super bowl. And then everything's just Bad Bunny this, Bad Bunny that. And then like all these people butthurt, you know.

[Bill Burr]

All of these people walk around and call people snowflakes. Can't handle that somebody sang his music. It's just. What about my language? It's just, I mean, how is that different from people back in the day? What about my pronouns? You guys are all the same people. You're fucking adults. All right. Jesus. I just don't fucking get it. I mean, I get whining, but don't walk around acting like you're the one who does. You know, these people whine and I don't. You.

[Bill Burr's Friend]

I, I don't know. I, I, it's just, it's just such a.

[Bill Burr]

There's only one person to blame.

[Bill Burr's Friend]

It's God.

[Bill Burr]

God makes all of these stupid people. He makes all of these psychos that manipulate the stupid people. And it's just, it's really incredible. Like the level of stupid, I will say, you know, driving through San Francisco, the amount of times I read the word human and AI. I mean, those fucking tech bros up there, this whole fucking thing that people think nerds are harmless. These people are. They're out of their fucking minds. They are out of their fucking minds. What they're doing up there. And this in all of their stupid inventions. You know what they're gonna do? They're just gonna put up propaganda to make you and me don't like each other. And then we're gonna kill ourselves in the fucking street while those stupid robots take over because these fucking nerds don't know how to have a conversation with somebody. Don't ought to talk to some woman. Like all of this shit out there that you can get for singing your songs or doing a stand up comedy festival. These fucking people are making robots.

[Bill Burr's Friend]

To.

[Bill Burr]

Eliminate and nobody wants it and they're doing it anyways. And we're all just going to have to accept it. And there's not nothing, nothing from cnn, nothing from Fox. All they're doing is just me with a technology. This is a smart refrigerator and it has a fucking camera in it. They're spying on you. And they're going to phase out cash, they're going to phase out cars. We're all going to have our little way mos and the satellites are going to control. This is since the beginning of fucking time. One guy has been trying to run all of it and now they're creating the technology. This is like that movie Weird Science, except it's not about pussy.

[Bill Burr's Friend]

It's.

[Bill Burr]

It's.

[Bill Burr's Friend]

It's about controlling the world. All right, there you go.

[Bill Burr]

That's.

[Bill Burr's Friend]

That's what I feel is going on.

[Bill Burr]

And if you go into San Francisco, which is so fucking funny because this is where all the hippies used to be. The summer love, man. And fucking, you know, hairy bushes. Let's all just walk around naked and. Free love, man. Free love.

[Bill Burr's Friend]

Creeps.

[Bill Burr]

Um, now it's gone all the way the other side. I remember Frank Zappa too was like.

[Bill Burr's Friend]

In real time was talking about how like, dude, don't go to San Francisco if you think it's all lovey dovey. Like I think that existed for a couple of weeks and then it got really dark and really sinister and there was a lot of drugs and people taking advantage. And fucking Frank Zappa warned Everybody in like 1969 or 70 about that shit. And now like we're going the other way. We need some Frank Zappa type of person. Well, nobody listened to Frank either. Now it's gone the other way with like this technology, like just call every.

[Bill Burr]

This is, this is a fucking smart chest of drawers. It's not alive. It's not intelligent.

[Bill Burr's Friend]

Anyway, so having said that, I. We went to the Mission. We got a burrito there. I forgot to mention, we went to like this cigar bar and it was this little, just tiny bar. And I went in there, it was just a bunch of cigar smokers or whatever. Like, you know, everybody there looked like they were like 40 or 50 years of age. I met some Montreal Canadian fans in there. So we had a good time going back and forth, busting each other's chops and. Yeah, that's kind of like, it's kind of like what it was, it was just a fantastic time. Yeah, we were staying up in Berkeley, California. I love it up there.

[Bill Burr]

And.

[Bill Burr's Friend]

We stayed at the Claremont Hotel and they had this restaurant run by this guy, Chef Joseph, the Limewood Bar and Restaurant. And they had these prime rib sliders that were just incredible. So shout out to Chef Joseph. He was cool as hell. You know, Nia's in that world. So she set us up there. And what was cool was that we kind of got in there late and it was like the end of the night. So we were eating everything and Chef Joseph came out and sat down and had an espresso with all of us. As the lights were coming on and we were the last ones in there, I felt like I was in the bear.

[Bill Burr]

It was really cool.

[Bill Burr's Friend]

So Berkeley's all like fucking liberal, man, and so it's a fun vibe up there. And everybody was like, cool.

[Bill Burr]

And then I saw like this one.

[Bill Burr's Friend]

Guy walking down the street and he had like a fucking, you know, the man bun, the, the, the fucking loose.

[Bill Burr]

What do you call the giant fucking.

[Bill Burr's Friend]

Pants, but they don't make it halfway down your calves.

[Bill Burr]

He had the whole uniform on and on top of all of that, he.

[Bill Burr's Friend]

Had a sweatshirt that said I love Berkeley.

[Bill Burr]

Oh, never would have guessed that. Thanks, thanks for the heads up. But we had a good time.

[Bill Burr's Friend]

We, we walked down from the hotel, we had good coffee out there and, and we went, we walked over to the stadium as I always do. Walked over the campus there to check out. I gotta see a game up there. It's all like all the hall of Fame names of all the players that have played there and stuff. They wouldn't let us go on the field sometimes. There's still some old school colleges that, that let you do that. But we did get to see like some of their hall of Fame stuff. Aaron Rodgers, Marshawn lynch, and all these amazing kind of low key, like you had no idea. They didn't, you know, I just. Growing up in the east coast like they still didn't give enough coverage. I feel like out that way when I was coming up. So anyway, all right, so that's, that's it.

[Bill Burr]

You know, Patriots, obviously we gotta, we gotta.

[Bill Burr's Friend]

You know, we had two rookies on the left side. So I'm not saying we got to get new players. We just got to get better at that. And also we got to, I don't know, we have a few other things we got to do. But overall, I mean, like I said, I thought, you know, if we went 8, 9, 9 and 8, we were, we were terrible last year. So it's pretty amazing. Anyway, now looking back, I didn't realize Seattle hadn't turned the ball over ever.

[Bill Burr]

The whole.

[Bill Burr's Friend]

I still would have bet the Patriots still would have bet with my heart. But the fact that we turned the ball over as much as we did the first two games, that should have probably given me a little inkling. I just got nervous with the spread. Four and a half. I was believing. I'm like, this is going to be close. Oh, how wrong I was. And what's his face Garrett there for the Dallas Cowboys ex coach was the.

[Bill Burr]

Only guy who called a blowout for Seattle pregame.

[Bill Burr's Friend]

Everybody else had a close saying Seattle by three or Patriots by three. And he was just like, yeah, no, he didn't say it, but his score was like, yeah, that Seattle's gonna dominate him. So much as I hate to admit it, he was right. So anyway, anyway, let me do some of the. Got one quick read here for the week. Let me see what we got here. All right.

[Bill Burr]

Coast everybody. You know, if you manage a crew, construction, H Vac, I don't want that. As landscapers, whatever. You already know when your guy. When your guys pay for gas and materials, it causes all types of issues. Cards get borrowed. Trucks fuel up when they're parked in the yard and your accountant is chasing you for receipts at the end of the month. Cost pay fixes all of that. Isn't that something where you dress up cost pay?

[Bill Burr's Friend]

Oh, play. Just shut up and read, okay?

[Bill Burr]

Cospay is the modern fuel card and expense management tool built for fleets. There isn't software built by someone who never, who had. Never run, who's never run a crew. Come on, Bill, you can do this. Fuck. Fuel maintenance materials are now all on one card with real control and instant visibility. Set real time spending limits for every driver of vehicle. Fuel only fuel and materials certain days or certain hours. You decide and coast enforces it. Fraud protection actually works on Coast. No shared pins no missing receipts, no guessing employees check in by text. Coast verifies the purchase and you stay in control. Unlike old fuel cards, Coastworks everywhere. Visa is accepted every. Every gas station, every brand, every time. Your drivers aren't detouring just to find the one station that takes your card. No contracts, no commitments. Just a smartest simply way to keep your operation tight and your crews moving. Right now, Cost Pay is offering our listeners free gas. And for a day when you get started at costpay.com brrrr go to costpay.com coast pay. Oh shit. Coast Pay C O a s t pay.com brrrr to get free gas for a whole day. Terms apply. That's Coast Play pay fuck. Coast pay.com brrrr c o a s t p a y.com burr burr disclaimer. Coast Visa commercial credit card is issued by Celtic Bank. All card accounts subject to credit card approval.

[Bill Burr's Friend]

All right, okay.

[Bill Burr]

Now we're getting into your part of the show. Now that you listen to me run my goddamn yap the whole time.

[Bill Burr's Friend]

Dude, I still haven't had breakfast yet. Dude, I'm fucking starving. Put on a few pounds. When I was up there, not gonna lie to you. Stress eating, watching us not move the ball, eating one Italian cookie after another, smoking like a chimney. I was like that guy in Airplane. Looks like I picked the wrong week to stop eating Italian cookies.

[Bill Burr]

Okay. Songs for products. Okay. I've been doing, doing this thing where.

[Bill Burr's Friend]

I was coming up with. I was coming up with commercials for like, you know, because the, the.

[Bill Burr]

The business is shrinking, so everybody's doing like commercials.

[Bill Burr's Friend]

And you know, I saw Janet Jackson kill it last month with, oh, the end of December actually out here in la. Oh, the Inland Empire. And she sings that song escapade.

[Bill Burr]

And I was saying right there, you just have a go sing for Cadillac. S G Laid will have a good. Leave your Prius behind.

[Bill Burr's Friend]

Whatever. That's what I've been doing.

[Bill Burr]

Songs for products.

[Bill Burr's Friend]

Oh.

[Bill Burr]

Songs to product. No more Tears by Ozzy Osbourne for Johnson and Johnson Baby Shampoo. Yet it is a song about a fucking serial killer. Yeah, but if you just take that one part out, you know, nobody, nobody knows what it's about. I didn't know that that was a song about a serial killer. I had no idea. I just sort of sang along to the chorus. I'll have to. You know what? I'll have to go back and look that one up.

[Bill Burr's Friend]

You know, you have to start vetting songs.

[Bill Burr]

You have to know all the lyrics and you have to Know what they're about. All right, top five shittiest birds. You know, it's one of my favorite expressions. Shit bird, Top five shittiest birds. All right. I was doing this last week. Well, I don't know why the birds are catching strays. As the kids say. Hey, Billy bird balls. First of all, how do you leave out the hummingbird in your top five birds? I know, I know. It's the only bird that can fly backwards. But you. What, you don't like a bird that can moonwalk? Yeah, and I fly helicopters. I should totally. I want to say that that was the inspiration for a helicopter. Okay. Anyway, top five shittiest birds. Number five, number five. These are the shit birds. You can do your top five favorites, Top five favorite birds or top five shit. The bottom five shitbirds. All right, number five in emu, just when you thought an ostrich was the ugliest bird out there, the emu comes along. Can't fly, Looks like a worm from Men in Black from the neck up. Dumb bird. Is it dumb?

[Bill Burr's Friend]

That's scary. Something that big, that's stupid.

[Bill Burr]

You know what I mean?

[Bill Burr's Friend]

Just described a lot of people. There's nothing scarier than a big drunk guy. Dumb drunk guy. You're like, oh God, what the fuck is he gonna do with a childlike brain?

[Bill Burr]

Alright, number four, the blue jay. Really, they're the bullies of the bird world. Just assholes. Anytime they see another bird eating or being in its space, they chase it off because they can. They also overpay their players like the Yankees and the Dodgers, but are in Canada, so they don't get any bad press. Well, now I got to watch. I got to find out what a blue jays natural enemy is. Somebody's got to make a blue jay instant karma video. You show it like, like bullying chickadees and shit like that at the bird feeder.

[Bill Burr's Friend]

Oh my God, dude, that's another thing. I was just being a idiot when I was up there in the Super Bowl. Yeah.

[Bill Burr]

You know those things, you know those.

[Bill Burr's Friend]

Things on the side of the road where you can just donate a book and just free books, like you finish a book.

[Bill Burr]

They're on the side of the road.

[Bill Burr's Friend]

They're just like these wooden things that stand. And me and my buddy were just doing the Boston accent the whole weekend just being idiots. And I was like, God, dude, look at that thing. It's like a fucking nerd bird feeder. All right.

[Bill Burr]

Woodpeckers. Woodpeckers do just an annoying bird woody. The woodpecker made a whole Generation give them a pass for being a noisy ass bird. I gotta tell you, I hated Woody Woodpecker, hated his laugh. He was a fucking asshole.

[Bill Burr's Friend]

And I don't know, I just didn't like the sound of the thing's voice. And I used to sit there watching it like, why am I watching this? I don't like this. But it was a cartoon and I was a kid and we only had like 5, 6 channels. Everything else was just people in suits talking adults. So I didn't want to watch that. So I would suffer through it. I hated it. Used to come on TV38, they would used to flip flop. They would show Mickey Mouse, which I didn't mind. Not Mickey Mouse, Mighty Mouse. Or they would show Woody Woodpecker. And I fucking hated when it switched over to Woody Woodpecker. He was just a cunt. It's just a cunt. And he never like lost.

[Bill Burr]

All right, pigeons.

[Bill Burr's Friend]

Ah, come on, man, that's low hanging fruit. Everybody hates pigeons. They look dumb, but they know what's going on.

[Bill Burr]

You ever look one in the eye.

[Bill Burr's Friend]

They know what's going on, but they choose to live in filth anyway.

[Bill Burr]

Why do they only live in cities? How come? Where did pigeons live before there was cities?

[Bill Burr's Friend]

I like pigeons.

[Bill Burr]

They're smart enough to live in a city, you know, and then if they want to, they want to have a little getaway, they can just fly across the river, hang in the country. But you know, they like group thought. I can't go with pigeons. Penguins. The male. You don't like penguins? Match of the penguins. The male penguins gives women penguins big rocks. If they want to stay together forever.

[Bill Burr's Friend]

Oh, there's a metaphor for a ring.

[Bill Burr]

If they know how to do that, they should. They should pay taxes. They also gang rape and eat their young sometimes. So maybe they shouldn't pay taxes. Shout out to the Epstein files, thanks. And go yourself. It's so funny that everybody wanted that list to come out and now the list has come out and, and everybody's outraged about it.

[Bill Burr's Friend]

But nothing's going to happen to anybody who is or isn't on it. I don't know what people thought was going to happen when that list came out.

[Bill Burr]

You know what people do once again, if they're on the. If they're right wing, they only talk.

[Bill Burr's Friend]

About the left wing people that were on it. And if you're left wing, you only.

[Bill Burr]

Talk about the right wing people on it.

[Bill Burr's Friend]

It's just like literally everything is politicized.

[Bill Burr]

All right, 80s TV mustaches.

[Bill Burr's Friend]

Oh, here we Go.

[Bill Burr]

Here we go. You know, when I was at that Guy Fieri thing, not to keep dropping his name, I met somebody there that. I swear to God, He. He had, like this Southern drawl. He looked like Burt Reynolds. Jet black hair and, like the beard and everything.

[Bill Burr's Friend]

But he was older. He probably died it, but you could just tell the guy was crushing it back in the day. Probably still is. And I was looking at this guy going, like, back in the day, if I was, like, running a TV network.

[Bill Burr]

And if I saw that guy be like, that's it. All this guy needs is the right car and some sort of private investigator career and we have a hit show. That's all you needed. You needed a cool guy and a cool car. You know, it all worked. Rockford Files, Vegas. Matt Houston. What was the Fred Dreier show? Sometimes they would pair them with a beautiful woman.

[Bill Burr's Friend]

I used to watch that show all the time. I thought she was so hot. What the fuck was that show anyway? Plowing Ahead. All right, coast. Oh, no, that's the fucking thing I read. And for some reason I couldn't. I couldn't read it right. I went back up to the. What you call it there, the advertising. Oh, my God, is that all I have for this week? And I'm only 35 minutes in, guys, I'm gonna tell you, just like the Patriots, I'm gonna come up short this week. Oh, God. You know what I gotta do, and I'm not gonna do it. I need to. I'm gonna go to the gym today.

[Bill Burr]

I gotta get.

[Bill Burr's Friend]

I was doing great, and then that super bowl weekend threw me off. You know what I would do? Well, when I would go to the parties, I try. I'd stay away from all that stupid food. But then I get back to the hotel and I'd be hungry. One night I went with the fruit plate, but then the next night I just said it and I got a burger and it was fantastic with the fries. But then the second I was done with it, I was just like, what did I do that for? You know?

[Bill Burr]

I don't know.

[Bill Burr's Friend]

I also took a couple of dry saunas. Just old guy.

[Bill Burr]

It was funny. We were staying at that hotel and, like, it's funny. Non white people just, you know, they're like white people.

[Bill Burr's Friend]

They don't understand there's all different levels of us. Or a lot of them don't. Or maybe they just think there's rednecks, you know, country white people and then city white people. There's all different levels. So I was in the locker room. And in that locker room at that place I was staying at was that level of white dude, the older white dude. First of all, they just walk around with just their junk out. They don't give a. And they were like, stopping this guy.

[Bill Burr]

Like, totally naked, just junk out. He's got a towel and it's hanging down, but it's hiding his leg, not his fucking unit, right? Standing there staring at the TV like, I watch ESPN back in the day, right? And he's looking at the stock ticker and the stock market shit.

[Bill Burr's Friend]

And I was just like, wow, I. I have.

[Bill Burr]

I am in a room now with. With the people with that. That shit means something to them. Like the way we sit there watching, like, the scores going by or whatever. Like they sit in there to see. I don't know how.

[Bill Burr's Friend]

I don't even. I can't even name a stock. I have no idea. But anyway, let's talk about the Cow Palace.

[Bill Burr]

First of all, a million.

[Bill Burr's Friend]

I never really knew where it was.

[Bill Burr]

I always thought it was somewhere between, like.

[Bill Burr's Friend]

I thought it was outside of San Francisco, like on your way to like, San Jose or something. Like kind of like the Worcester Centrum. How that's like an hour ride outside of Boston or whatever.

[Bill Burr]

And.

[Bill Burr's Friend]

Now that I've been there and I know where it is, we took off today from Oakland and I think that I could. It sticks out like a sore thumb. It's an absolutely incredible, incredible venue and I gotta see a show there. I know I'm trying to reach back in time to go to some show from like 40 years ago that it's already over or whatever. But I just remember hearing so many stories about it and it 100% did not look like how I thought it was going to look. Cow Palace. I just had like that. This rodeo vibe. Like, I really thought it was going to be. Yeah, like, look like, you know, most of the times they have rodeos in, like. I played this really cool place one time in Boise, Idaho, that also had rodeos there. So, like backstage they had like these, like, right outside the. The. Where the crowd was sitting. On the lower level, they had look what looked like just like these wooden hallways. And that's where they brought all the livestock, the bulls they're going to ride or whatever. They're going to go out there and go rope or whatever. So it was a really fun venue. So I thought it was going to look like that. I didn't think it was going to look like some old hockey venue.

[Bill Burr]

And I'm sure a lot of you.

[Bill Burr's Friend]

Have been like pulling your hair out listening to me because you want me to bring this up or let me know.

[Bill Burr]

I believe the San Jose Sharks played.

[Bill Burr's Friend]

There for their first couple of years in the NHL. Which, you know, that was like way back, the beginning of my stand up career. But like, had I been on the road, that would definitely would have been a place that I would have visited to, to definitely hit a game. Speaking of which, coming up, I, I, I know I keep saying I'm gonna, I don't know when we're gonna announce these dates, but I do have a date coming up where I'm gonna see the Utah Mammoth. And I have a date coming up where I'm gonna see, I'm pairing it. I'm also gonna see the Carolina Hurricanes and those are the last two teams that I need to see. So now what do I do to keep the road exciting? I think I'm gonna go to one MotoGP race a year. Like overseas. I'll do like an overseas, an overseas thing. I mean, I don't know. I'm running out of shit to do. I'm not a museum guy. I clearly don't read. You know what I mean?

[Bill Burr]

I just gotta, I just gotta keep.

[Bill Burr's Friend]

Just keep it simple. So I've never been to Spain. I mean it just seems amazing. But then there's that other track. The fastest track with the fastest straightaway is the one in Italy. I don't know. I'm gonna figure out something, but that should be starting up any week now. That and F1. So I'm really excited about that. Also is the Olympic break right now in the NHL. So I got to get caught up. I haven't seen that Florida Panthers game yet with the Bruins. But anyway, let me just wrap this up once again saying congratulations to the Seattle Seahawks. I mean, you guys were just, that was, I mean if I had historically put that into Super Bowls, that to me is that Reds, the Raiders, I want to say was the 1983 rate. Yeah, 83 Raiders, the 85 Bears. I wouldn't even say 2007 giants for as much as they made Tom Brady move off his spot and Kepis uncomfortably won it. Like that was like a last second game. As far as just like the domination. I know I'm forgetting as far as great defenses. I know I'm forgetting something. I mean, would you throw those Cowboys that second time the Cowboys beat the Bills?

[Bill Burr]

I don't know.

[Bill Burr's Friend]

But Liam let held the ball out, got slapped away.

[Bill Burr]

Oh, the Pittsburgh Steelers. Maybe the Steelers versus the Vikings, some of those dominant ones.

[Bill Burr's Friend]

That they.

[Bill Burr]

I mean, I like it. It's a handful. It's a handful of, like, defensive dominating games.

[Bill Burr's Friend]

I've seen like that. Maybe the Ravens got to have one of those, don't they?

[Bill Burr]

I don't know. I think it.

[Bill Burr's Friend]

It hurts if your opponent is like.

[Bill Burr]

Like, I feel like when the Ravens won their first one and they played.

[Bill Burr's Friend]

The Giants, like, I feel like the Giants were kind of like the Patriots were like, they got to the super bowl, but they. That year, they. They weren't ready for prime time. You kind of have to dominate somebody that everybody thinks is going to be close. Well, I guess they said the Patriots gonna be.

[Bill Burr]

I don't know. Whatever.

[Bill Burr's Friend]

All I'm saying, they were fucking amazing. Um, so now here's his Billy, the Billy Rain man segment of the program.

[Bill Burr]

That was the 60th Super Bowl. Let me see if I can just.

[Bill Burr's Friend]

In my head, do a map and go around and count them all. All right, Seattle has two. And we go down to the Bay Area.

[Bill Burr]

San Francisco has five.

[Bill Burr's Friend]

That's seven. I'm not going to add these up in my head. You guys can add it up, see if it comes out this 60. All right, Seattle's got two. San Francisco has five. The Raiders have three. The Rams have two. LA Chargers, San Diego Chargers. LA Chargers going back in their history, have zero. They do have an AFL title. Arizona Cardinals, St. Louis Cardinals. Chicago Cardinals have zero. No Super Bowls. We go to Denver. Denver has three. Back to back with Elway and Peyton Manning. We go to Texas. The Texans don't have any. Cowboys have five. The Chiefs have four, I believe three. One with. With old Tippy Toes there, Patrick Mahomes, and then one with Len Dawson, 64 toss, power, trap. Oh, wait a second. I up.

[Bill Burr]

That's where I was up. The St. The. The.

[Bill Burr's Friend]

The.

[Bill Burr]

The LA Rams. St. Louis Rams. Oh, that's right. So they have three total. Two is the LA Rams, one is the St. Louis Rams, and they were the Cleveland Rams, the LA Rams, the Anaheim Rams, the St. Louis Rams, and then the fucking LA Rams. Why do I know all of this shit? Why do I need to know this shit?

[Bill Burr's Friend]

How does it help me in life? It.

[Bill Burr]

Distraction, bread and circus. Minnesota Vikings, we all know the answer to that.

[Bill Burr's Friend]

They got nothing. The Buffalo Bills of the fucking nfc. They. They've lost the Super Bowl, I want to say, four times. Wait a second, wait a minute. Okay, they lost to. Let's see. They lost to the Dolphins. They lost to. I used to be able to do this. I Gotta brush up on this. They lost to the Steelers and they lost to the Raiders. And then they also. Oh, no, they lost to the Dirty Birds. That was in the NFC.

[Bill Burr]

Jesus.

[Bill Burr's Friend]

Have they not been back since Super Bowl 11? Get the fuck out of here. Whatever. Let's continue on. The Green bay Packers have four.

[Bill Burr]

Two with Bart Starr, Brett Favre, Aaron Rodger.

[Bill Burr's Friend]

The Bears, one Jim McMahon. Indianapolis Colts won. Peyton Manning. Oh, I should have been doing the quarterbacks. Cincinnati Bengals, the Cleveland Browns and the Detroit Lions. The triangle death of no Super Bowls.

[Bill Burr]

Shout out to 1957, I think, is the last time the lions won an NFL title of 55. The Cleveland Browns won an NFL title. Well, that's.

[Bill Burr's Friend]

They're the Ravens now. See, this is where it gets difficult.

[Bill Burr]

They haven't won. The new version hasn't won since they.

[Bill Burr's Friend]

Came back in the late 90s. Whatever.

[Bill Burr]

Then we start going down south. Tennessee Titans, aka the Houston Oilers, have zero. The Nolan Saints have one with Drew Brees. The Atlanta Falcons have zero. The Tampa Bay Buccaneers have two. The Miami Dolphins have two. Jacksonville Jaguars, zero. Carolina Panthers, zero.

[Bill Burr's Friend]

I didn't have to be that harsh with the Panthers, zero. I didn't have to go zero. Washington Redskins have three. The Ravens have two.

[Bill Burr]

Pittsburgh Steelers have six. The Philadelphia Eagles have two. New York Jets. Poor bastards, they got one, though. They do have one. The Giants have four, the Bills zero.

[Bill Burr's Friend]

And the Patriots, six. There you go. Did that come out to 60?

[Bill Burr]

I don't know why I do this shit.

[Bill Burr's Friend]

All right, everybody. I'm gonna mercifully end this goddamn podcast. I apologize for it being a little late, but whatever. I, as much as my team got their ass kicked, I still had a fucking great time. And I loved all the music.

[Bill Burr]

I loved all the music, whether it was in English, Spanish, it was sung by somebody straight, somebody gay, somebody in the middle. I don't give a. Just be cool. Stop letting these fucking people stir you up and make you a fucking hateful person. Everybody just be cool. Let these fucking nerds with their weird science fucking cars and all of this shit, when they try to get you started, just don't.

[Bill Burr's Friend]

I don't know.

[Bill Burr]

They're gonna win. They're gonna win because there's no rules on monopolies now. And they're gonna be able to manipulate the markets and, you know, two people loan all of our media.

[Bill Burr's Friend]

We've killed journalism in this fucking country. I mean, it's.

[Bill Burr]

It's. It's gonna get worse before it gets.

[Bill Burr's Friend]

Better, but it's gonna get better, all right?

[Bill Burr]

And it and it. It starts with you, all right? Just like Michael Jackson used to say. And, you know, Michael Jackson was kind of everything, you know, was sort of a hybrid. He was like. He was like an LS Swap, except racially, like, I don't know where he was. I don't know how all that thing worked out, but, you know, everybody's doing what they're doing. I saw a few things like that.

[Bill Burr's Friend]

Oh, my God. I came out of this one party. Jesus Christ. I can't tell that story. It's just somebody who had stayed at the party too long and was still wearing leather pants and still thought that they were attractive. And he just sitting there, oh, my God, Taking a picture with them. He just like, you just.

[Bill Burr]

Can you just go home? Just go home and put on some sweat? It's okay. You had your time. You had your.

[Bill Burr's Friend]

That's how we felt at the DraftKings thing. I will. I will tell you that me and my buddies are all like, you know, I'm older. They're like in their 40s, and I'm my 50s. And we went into that party and I immediately felt just like a chaperone. We stayed there for like, six minutes, and we were just laughing at how old we are. It's. It's a star. And just what my life has become, like, I haven't realized. I have not interacted with people in their 20s. I can't even remember, because somewhere in my 40s, like college gigs, doing stand up, kind of like dried up. And then, you know, I started a family with my lovely wife. And without you even knowing it, all.

[Bill Burr]

Of a sudden, all your friends become.

[Bill Burr's Friend]

Like married couples with kids the same.

[Bill Burr]

Age, and you're just in the bubble. And like, my whole life has just been going on, like, either dates with.

[Bill Burr's Friend]

My wife or double dates with other married people. And then like, kid parties.

[Bill Burr]

Standing around, trying not to get hit in the balls as somebody's whacking a pinata, like that. That's what it becomes. And you just get through the day and you. You fall asleep at like, 8:30. It's hilarious. But I'm really thankful for this experience.

[Bill Burr's Friend]

Because I almost missed my window to be a dad. And it's been the greatest thing that's really ever happened to me. And I'm psyched to be home. So thank you to everybody that I ran into in the Bay Area. I got. I had so much fun. Oh, my God, I forgot today in.

[Bill Burr]

The airport, this guy, I swear to God, it sounded like a sketch. His accent, he was some Guy from Virginia. We went through, like, tsa, and I'm waiting for my badge to come through, and this guy, I swear to God, his accent, Virginia guy, he's just like, hey, man. He's like. He's this old guy. He's like, ain't you that yet? Comedy person that I see on the Internet. I see you all the time. He had a big, long intro.

[Bill Burr's Friend]

A.

[Bill Burr]

Big, long intro when he described me, the comedy guy I see on the Internet, and all those video things and data. That was this. The guy was. He was a gem. He goes, I can't believe it. I came out to California. I saw a celebrity. I feel so lucky. He was just, like, the nicest dude me and my buddy would just fucking. Just like, not laughing at him. We were just laughing at how fucking nice he was. He was talking to the nicest people I've ever met in my life. Like, I was just shaking. Like, you ever meet somebody, they just make you. Like, you make your face hurt. They make you smile. Smile so hard. He was the nicest fucking guy ever. And I wish I could remember word for word, he had no idea what my name was. But the way that Internet guy in the video. And he had, like, two more ways of describing me. My buddy just bursted out laughing, and it was a really slow, like, sudden draw, so it took him, like, 30 seconds to say the whole thing. It reminded me a long time ago.

[Bill Burr's Friend]

I was on a plane, and it was some of the worst turbulence I'd ever been in. And we were landing in, like, Nebraska, and there was this older guy next to me, and it was the first time he ever flew on a plane.

[Bill Burr]

And.

[Bill Burr's Friend]

And this pilot dude, we came in crabbing in, like, sideways, and at the last second, he's straightened it out, and, dude, the hardest I've ever hit a Runway. You heard all the luggage move under the plane. It was just bam, bam, bam, bam. And then we, you know, came to, like, a stop, and I looked over to him and I just went like. You know, after we stopped and we were tax. I was like, jesus Christ, that was a rough flight. And he goes. He goes, oh, is it over?

[Bill Burr]

Yeah. I go, what'd you think that sound was? And he goes, oh, because I thought we hit something. Like, we were driving down the goddamn street. Anyway, so that's it. That's Billy's super bowl weekend podcast. That man. Now football is over. Thanks to everybody that plays professional football. And. And thank you to the NFL, too.

[Bill Burr's Friend]

For letting everybody do their thing on Sunday either on the field. Or musically or whatever. It was a great fucking time. I had a great time even though I got my sports balls kicked into my fucking throat. Whatever. What are you going to do?

[Bill Burr]

Let's go, Bruins. Let's go, Celtics.

[Bill Burr's Friend]

I'm excited for baseball around the corner. And I'm gonna watch some Olympic hockey, the downhill skiing. What else do I. I watch all that. I don't care. All right, that's it. Curling.

[Bill Burr]

You gotta love curling.

[Bill Burr's Friend]

Curly. It's.

[Bill Burr]

It's just one of the great. Just sit there drinking sports you could ever watch.

[Bill Burr's Friend]

All right, I'm gonna shut the up. I'll talk to you guys later. Go yourselves. I'll check in.