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Hey, what's going on? It's Bill Burr and it's time for the Monday morning podcast for Monday, November 25, 2025. What's going on? How are you? 11, 25, 25. How's it going, man? Happy Thanksgiving week. You know, arguably the best holiday out there. You know, all you got to do is fucking show up and eat. Unless you know the true heroes of Thanksgiving, the people that go out and actually make the meals while everybody else shows up with like a bottle of wine, some half assed eff. You swung by a liquor store on the drive over. But you know, let's. How about a shout out to those people? How about those people that enjoy the holidays and put zero effort in. That's probably like, that's really like. Is there a slang word for the person that like, just, you know, I don't know, what the fuck would that be? It's almost like when you have a buddy that has a boat, you know, and you just show up with like a 12 pack or some shit and then he has to deal with the boat and you get to enjoy the boat, but you don't have to pay the insurance. You don't got to take it out of the water, you don't have to get the barnacles taken off. So that person shows up Thanksgiving, they got a bottle of wine, they're not doing any dishes, you know what I mean? They didn't cook anything. They went to a liquor store and showed up with a bottle of red, bottle of white and they just, it could, you know, those people who fucking Thanksgiving's on a Thursday and their behavior is no different than any other Thursday, shout out to them too. There's all different kinds of people out there. Some people are in the game, driving the fucking team down the field and other people, the place kicker, You know, still an important role on the team. They play, they do play a role. You know, what they do is they make the people that actually do the work to make it a nice holiday look better, you know, Anyway, I always liked Thanksgiving. I always thought it was a nice. You didn't have to wear a costume, you didn't have to buy a bunch of shit. You know, you show up, you hang out with people you love, you watch football. Inevitably, somehow you always end up outside either throwing a football, smoking a cigar, I don't know what, holding somebody as they cry quietly, you know, the holidays. Yeah. So anyway, speaking of the holidays, I am essentially done with all of my holiday shopping and it's wrapped and it's Ready to go. Which is. I've never done this. I don't know what it was. It was just something about going through this shit again, like, because I. I love Thanksgiving, right? So I love Halloween because, you know, having kids and stuff, having them go out to Halloween is great. And then I look forward to Thanksgiving, which I feel is like, you know, Halloween's for kids, Christmas is for kids. And the Thanksgiving, that's the one for adults, and everybody blows by, you know. You know, it's for adults. Is. There's no songs about it. I am kind of amazed that capitalism hasn't figured out a way to make you spend way more money on Thanksgiving. I mean, it's a tough one if you really put on your capitalist hat. I mean, I'm not going to get into details, but I. Terrorist attacks, you know, foreign and domestic terrorist attacks are still ways that people figure out how to earn money. Everything from false charity to merch and all of that type of stuff. Like, very quickly it gets like, you know, in remembrance and blah, blah, blah. And it's like you're kind of making. What are you doing with that money that you get? You're donating it to people. Portion of the proceeds. I would just love to see one honest piece of out there that actually has a sign out in front of their house that this house was purchased on the rest of the portion of the proceeds. On the majority of the portions of the proceeds, this gated community house was purchased. Yeah, but it's just. It's a hard one, you know. Who wants. No one. Like a turkey is not a desirable animal. No one wants to dress up like a turkey. It's not a sexy animal. It's not a respected animal. There's a lot of browns and oranges. It's just not good colors. Nothing really pops. Pretty much the. The colors of Thanksgiving represent the death of trees. Just. Just browns and yellows. They don't even get, you know, maybe like a little bit of foliage. They just can't do it. It's kind of. You got to give it up. Thanksgiving. Thanksgiving never sold out. Christmas sold out. If you're a religious person, that's the birthday of Jesus Christ. Jesus Christ, Right. And all of a sudden, who comes in to steal the thunder? It's the holiday season. Dooby dooby doo. Right? The Santa Claus comes in. You know, with all those religious wackos out there, you think that mall Santas would be getting. Sorry, I'm yawning. I just can't sleep. It's like three in the Morning. You would think that mall Santas would get way more. You know, you'd think that somebody would come walking in, be like, this isn't about you, man. Jesus never made you buy anything. I mean, he did have to wash his feet. Did you have to? I never quite understood that story. Somebody came over, he must have. His feet must have been filthy. Jesus Christ. He was always walking around. He was a man of the people. Could you say that Jesus was the first street magician? He was sort of David Blaine before David Blaine. You know, like when David Blaine does like street magic and black people, ah, they like run away. That would be a great sketch. Like Jesus just keeps pulling fish out of the basket and like black people back then, like, run away or he walks on water and just medieval people. Oh shit, they just fucking run away. Anyway. What the. Do I know? What do I know? Not a goddamn thing. I lost a lot of games picking this week. It's inevitable. I was crushing it for like six weeks, going 3 and 1, 3 and 1, 3 and 1, 3 and 1, 2 and 2, 3 and 1, right? So then what happens? You go 1 and 3, 1 and 3 and it's just. It just. You just give it all back. It's the stupidest thing ever, trying to win that. I don't know how I might have gone two and two. I don't know. I won the Patriots game. That one I called six and a half point spread. I was just like, you know, Joe Flacco, he's got too much of ex. Too much. I didn't like the half a point. This is how good Vegas is. Patriots won by six. I mean, it really is bananas that you're going up against the corporation that runs sports gambling. And not only do they have like these geniuses who could pick spreads before computers, now you have these geniuses that actually have computers and analytics in programs and with like probabilities. I mean, it has to be. It's got to be a. You know, I feel like. You ever see like those, those. Those pirates that like pull up on like a cargo ship and they got this little ass boat going up against this big ass boat and then they got these guns and just the futile effort of that, that these pirates think that they're going to. In this little boat are going to somehow catch up with the bigger boat and not get sunk. That's kind of sports gambling, is it, Bill? I don't know what it is. You see the commercials? Everybody's having a great. I don't know. But you also see commercials when they sell cars and the person who bought the car just had a great time. They don't have that bewildered look on their faces. They walk out like, hey, wait a minute, am I the one who got screwed? I thought I got over on them. Wait a second, wait a minute. I've been doing some stand up, getting ready. I gotta, I gotta show first week of December up in Bakersfield, and I'm excited to do that and get ready to go back out on tour next year. We'll see how that all of that shakes out. Oh, and also, I finished, I finished that series that I was telling you on the Criteria collection that those three movies, Carlos, starring Edgar Ramirez. I can't say enough about those three movies. You got to check that. You got to check the thing out. And when you're done watching the three movies, you got to watch the interview with Edgar where he breaks down the character and, and his feelings on him, how he played him, and the fact that everybody involved in that project dedicated a year of their lives to make it. It's really an astounding, like, movie achievement. I, I, it was just unbelievable. I'm surprised more people don't know about it or maybe, I don't know, maybe I just discovered it and I just assume that no one else knows about it anyway. And I also started watching this other movie called Death by Hanging, which I just got in the beginning of it. I've just been watching a bunch of, I don't know, movie recommendations from, I got a few friends of mine that are actors that are just like, you know, you know, those like the sports fans that can name, like, offensive linemen. I have a few friends that are on like, the movie level of that, so they are like, as far away from like, big Hollywood movie franchises of like, you know, superheroes or those, those car ones. And I've been having, I don't know, it's really kind of astounding how many ridiculously talented people there are out there. So I'm just going to keep recommending those as I go, as I go along. And also something else that I mentioned to you guys that, you know, I was talking about with my drumming where I, I'm trying to like, free myself up to be able to play ideas that I hear. And I started doing that and it's immediately changing how I play in a good way. So it's really exciting. Yeah, I've been doing that. I went to the Bruins Kings game the other night with one of my great friends that I st. Well, I started a few years after he did. But I started out in Boston. Jackie Flynn, I've known him. I can't believe it at this point, like, over 30 years. And we went to the Bruins game and just, you know. So first of all, saw a great game as. Great game. It was like zero to zero until, like, you know, five, six minutes left in the game. Bruin scored first, Morgan Geeky, then we, of course, we left a shorthanded goal and it goes into overtime. And then the three on three, which is so much fun to watch. And Morgan Geeky got the second one, sniped him both times. And we both just sat there talking about the old days, going to the Boston Garden, everything. And Jackie was telling me that he went to his first game in 1970. And I was like, you saw Bobby or. And all of those guys. He was like, yeah, in the game, he. We just. Oh, that's right. We were trying to remember two old guys. He goes, oh, I'll send you a clip of the game. He goes, they were playing Toronto and a guy on the other team, he goes, I swear to God, there was a fight and he punched the referee on purpose and got a massive suspension. He goes, I found, like, this old, like, vhs. And it was actually before vhs, like, grainy footage of. Of that. That incident. So I gotta get. I gotta get him to send me that. And I was telling him the first time I went. It was the 1983, 84 season. And I had been watching the Bruins since about 1980. I caught the end of Wayne Cashman's career, Stan Jonathan. It had become Terry O'Reilly's team. And I caught that whole wave of, like, you know, Peter McNabb, the last guy to wear number eight before Cam Neely, Rick Middleton, the end of Brad Park's career and all of that. God, those were such great days. So I. The game I went to that year, the. The Bruins won the President's Trophy. And so, of course, the Canadians, we were in first place in the Adams Division and the Canadians were in fourth. So one played four. That's how they did it back then. And in each division, right? So it was best three out of five. And of course, the Canadians came in and swept us. And it was funny. There was, like, this despondency I remember, of, like, we're never going to beat the Canadians. We can't beat the Canadians. What was so weird is our Stanley cup drought was only 12 years at that point. And now I'm looking at, like, right now, like, it doesn't seem like, you know, The Bruins haven't won it for such a long time, but it's actually been 14 years. Oh my God, I cannot believe that. But yeah, so anyway, we, I went to the Boston Garden and we're all excited. Oh, the President's trophy. Like this year we're going to beat the Canadiens. And this is like pre Patrick Wa. Like I went up and I, I like looked up the names like Larry Robinson and Gila Flor was. Was still on that team left over from the, the dynasty 76 to 79 that the Canadians had. And the infamous too many men on the ice, which I'm so, I'm so thankful that I was too young to have watched that game. And Larry Robinson, he had a fight in the game that I went to, which I don't even remember. And whoever he fought on, the Bruins got four minutes for roughing. So that's like one of those deals where I feel like there was a lot of pushing and shoving and Larry dropped the gloves and the Bruin guy didn't trying to, I don't know, give us a minute penalty. And it was a two to one game. And I don't remember anything from the game other than I couldn't believe I was at the Boston Garden because the only other time I had been there I saw the Harlem Globetrotters when I was a kid and the Ice Capades and going to that game started my, my whole. I like, I. After that I went to countless Bruins games. And like the first 10 games I went to, it was always Bruins versus Canadiens because I like the fights, I like the aggressiveness of, of of the games and the atmosphere. Like it didn't make a difference if we were playing the Canadiens in April in the playoffs, or May in the playoffs, or like in November. It was this, it was. The energy was just like you felt like the roof was going to come off the. The Garden. But anyway, we. I went to the game and how I did it was. I was taking, you know, failing miserably this French class and the French exchange students were there and somehow public schools, they got Bruins tickets and they took the French kids and like kids like me from the French class to a hockey game and it was Bruins versus the Canadians. And you know, the Canadians are in French speaking Quebec. So I just remembered that the French exchange students were actively rooting for the Canadians in the Boston Garden. And I was really worried that they were going to get into a fight and they were going fucking crazy rooting for. I think you would have thought they watched hockey their whole Lives. And they also knew that they. They were like, they bought like, Canadian, like, merch. Somehow at the Garden, I think they went. They. They, you know, like outside when you would walk in, there would be the street vendors and they would always have like 99 your shit. And then a couple of straggler things for people who maybe traveled, which didn't happen a lot back then, but I guess they bought that shit. And I just remember them screaming in French and Bruin fans, turn around, tell him to shut the fuck up. And I remember my French teacher, this poor woman was in the middle of it, so sort of looking over and making this like, geez, like, what is going on? And I remember thinking like, this woman does not realize the potential danger that she's in right now. It's like, you speak French? Do you know anything about Boston sports fans? You should tell these French kids to tone it down. And I remember thinking beyond wanting the Bruins to win. At one point I was thinking, like, the Bruins better win this game, because if they don't, somebody's gonna take it out on these kids. And they were just like, you know, 15, 14, 15. Like, however old I was then, I think it was 16, almost 16 when, when I went to that game. But anyway, I was at the game with Jackie, and we were just talking about all of this, all of that stuff, and I was telling him how I went to the. The bench clearing brawl Bruins Canadiens game, when the benches faced each other and Nyland hit Milbury with the butt of his stick. And Jay Miller was the ref tackle Jay Miller. And Jay Miller was on the ice looking at Chris Nyland, and you could see him clear as day, read his lips going, pointing at Nylan going, I'm gonna get you. And then Nylan, like, gets brought into the dressing room, got like a 10 minute misconduct. And they, of course, because nothing made sense back there. Not only did the benches face each other, but like when. If you got a 10 minute misconduct as. As a member of the other team to walk to the dressing room, you had to go by the Bruins bench. And I don't know if Lindsman said something, but Nylan went by and he pushed Ken Linsman and then Ken Linsman, to his credit, I don't know what he was thinking. He ran up the aisle, the hallway to go fight Chris Nylan. It was like twice his size. And then a whole brawl broke out. There was Boston cops involved. Terry O'Reilly was a coach at that point, wearing a sport coat. I remember grabbing a Canadian player when they came across the ice, I think Nevin Marquard had a fight. It was. It was insane. So we were sitting there now in 2025, as they got the Jumbotron, and everybody's doing, like, their dances and doing all of this up there, KISS cams, all of this stuff, like, how much the game has changed. And we were, like, laughing, going like, yeah, there was none of this. It was just like. You came in there, like the. The. The. The scoreboard above the ice, the Boston Garden. All it was was information. There was no video. It just had the time left. The score was in red. The time left was in, like, white lights, score was in red. And then I don't know what else they had. They, like, penalty minutes and stuff like that was really a simple. Not simple. The thing was gigantic, but it was just like. Just basic things. And what I loved about back then was it wasn't some DJ creating a vibe. Like, the people that went to the game, their knowledge of the game, the history between the two teams, whatever was going on in the story of your team and the other team at that point, that's what created the vibe. Or even, like, the holidays, people who come there hammered with the Santa Claus hat on or whatever. And it was. There'd be fights in the stance. It was a really. It was wild. I still remember seeing this fight in the stands at some game I went to, and this cop had gone up there to break it up. This security, it was. They used to have, like. They were, like, cops. It wasn't like, security that had to do with the Bruins or the arena. It was just Boston cops. And I just remember, like an idiot, I went up into the section to get a closer look at the fight. And all of a sudden the fight spilled out into the aisle where I was. And I was like, oh, fuck, I gotta get out of this. And I just remember this cop had grabbed one of the guys. I still don't know how he did it. It looked like he had a handful of the guy's neck. He didn't have him from the front or the back. He had him from the side of the neck. And he almost had his hand closed. Like, he was grabbing him by, like, the scruff of his neck or the back of his shirt, but it was like the guy's jugular. And he was just marching this guy down the stairs. And the guy had a look on his face like somebody had a handful of his neck. And I just remember the cop repeatedly saying, try to push me down the stairs. But I didn't Push me down the stairs as he. The stairs as he was coming down the thing. And I don't know, it was just such a great time going back and remembering all of those wild times and going to the game and everything. And I, you know, just from doing like the Cam Neely, Dennis Leary, commerce come home thing, I've gotten to know some people in that organization and we, you know, got to talk to them before the game. It was just great. It was really great. And I also love that the Bruins have gone back to like, the j. Like the jersey that they wear now where they don't have the yellow going down the sleeves. It looks like the. The home jersey and the way jersey look like the home and away jersey when I first started going to games, except they just reversed. So the jersey they were wearing at the crypto, whatever the hell you call the Staples center now was the home jersey that I saw the first time I saw them at the first game I went to. It took me back to that with Pete Peters, Keith Crowder, Bruce Crowder, Tom Fergus, Mike Krushelniski. Remember all those names. Brian Curran, Peter McNabb, all of those guys from way the back in the day. All right, that was old Billy reminiscing and reminiscing. All right, let's get into the. The read for the week. Simply Safe, everybody. You know, if you listen to this show, you know, I absolutely love my Simplisafe home security system. That's why I'm so excited. Simply, can't you tell? That's why I'm so excited. Better read. Simply Safe is giving fans of my show early access to their Black Friday sale. Guess who doesn't need the Black Friday sale? Someone who already finished their Christmas shop. And whoa. I love Simplisafe because it actually can stop a crime before it really starts. Here's what I mean. This is what the smartest thing about it is, is that before the fucking asshole gets on your property, gets into it, you just scare them away. Because even if, you know, the cops get there real quick, the person still broke a window, you know, messed up your front door or something. Anyway, when you think about security, you probably think of an alarm in a house that reacts after an intruder has already broken in. 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And with a 60 day money back guarantee and no long term contract, Simplisafe earns your business by keeping you safe and satisfied every day. Get 60% off your new system@simplisafe.com Burr there's no safe like Simply Safe. With stays under $250 a night. VRBO makes it easy to celebrate. Sweater weather, book a cabin with leaf views or a home with a fire pit for nights with friends. With stays under $250 a night. Find a home for your exact needs book now@verbo.com. all right, let's get to the reads here for the week. Let's get to the reads. I just scrolled up there. All right, here we go. When websites say they're sold out. Oh yeah, this is what I, you know, I was doing like some shopping online and I find like the cool thing that you want is never available. There's no sizes left. It's already sold out. But all the other that you don't want is readily available. And I'm sitting there going like, I'm on your website. So I'm not in a store. I get how a store doesn't have get sold out. But like I'm going directly to the manufacturer here. I'm in your warehouse. You. Wow, I remember you still go that guy. This is not a factory. It's a. Wow. That was. I'm trying to say warehouse. Anyway, sorry, I got fucking distracted. I don't know why I'm doing a podcast at fucking 3:35 in the morning anyway. Yeah, like you shouldn't be sold out. Like how does that happen? I just think they just say that they're sold out. When they find out, they're like what? Okay, with my theory is they see what's the most popular thing. They have it there. They, they have a Set number that they're going to sell, and then they're going to say that they're sold out when they're not. And then they're going to try to get people to, well, fuck it, I'll just buy this so they can move less popular stuff so they're not stuck with it and they don't have to throw it in the ocean and it doesn't end up floating up on the shores of Africa, which is what's happening now. All those clothes you drop off at Goodwill, nobody wants them, and they throw them in the ocean. And all these pants and shirts. This consumerism is fucking insane. It's so out of control. Like most things, it's. It's so out of control. It's so out of control. Oh, my God. That was another thing Jackie said. He was talking about, like, aliens and stuff and, like, how we're going to discover soon that they exist and, like, the evidence. And he did the. The thing that a lot of my friends do. Like, they go, to use an expression, and they either don't say it right or they combine it. And he goes with all that thing, he goes, I can't dismiss it out of hand. And I go, what the does that mean? I know what, I can't dismiss it. And what do you mean out of hand? And we were just laughing at it because it made sense to him. And I go, dude, like, out of hand. A party's out of hand. You know, your behavior is like, out of hand. Like, and then you. You dismiss something or you dismiss a person. You in the military, you're dismissed. Dismiss it out of hand. There's a new one. Anyway, this person's going to, I guess, break down when websites say they're sold out. Hey, Bill, heard you talk about how website list items is sold out to make you buy stuff that isn't selling. Not saying you're wrong, but as someone with years of e commerce experience, if a business has something that people want, they will make it available. Supply and demand. If they have something that isn't selling, they're more likely to sell it at a discount and keep upping the discount until it sells. I would really love to believe that. Anyway, this person said, I worked for a company that sold thousands of items online and many things we did not have stock of sales were going well, but we had one manager who got greedy and started listing things as in stock even though they were sold out, with the aim to get sales through the door, then rush to get them in stock from our supplier. I Warned against this, saying customers will get pissed off if they have to wait indefinitely for something they've already paid for. But they went ahead and did it anyway. Sales took off. But then, as I predicted, customers stopped ordering from when they realized they couldn't trust us. A short term game for a long term loss. Oh, there you go. Come back to Australia sometime. I know it's a long way from home, but Nia and the kids. Oh, bring me in the kids. The kids would love it here. The beaches, the rainforest. You have a rainforest over there. Google Whitehaven beach and show it to Nia and the kiddos. Thanks. And go fuck yourself. From a fellow bald. Wait a minute. My idea of Australia is the most beautiful beaches I've ever seen and that all of your lush vegetation exists along the coast and the entire middle of your country is badlands. That's what I thought. And then that's what that AC DC song Highway to Hell is was. They were singing about getting in a van to play a gig. Well, they had to drive through the Badlands out to some bar in the middle of fucking nowhere to play a gig. It was called the highway to Hell. And I remember hearing about that. I was amazed because I always thought highway to Hell was AC DC Sort of joking about Stairway to Heaven, that, you know, Led Zeppelin sings about Stairway to Heaven. We talk about the highway to Hell. Sorry. Yawning, yawning, Sorry. I always thought that there was some sort of correlation. Oh my God, where did I get that one? I pulled that word out. Oh, Billy. Big word. Some sort of correlation between the two. Anyway, I would love to go. I haven't been there in 10 years. A lot has happened in 10 years. My lovely wife gave me two beautiful children who are amazing. I was talking to my son, you know, he got his holiday haircut, right? So I was telling him how good he looked. And he looked at me. He goes, dad, when are you getting your haircut? I go, well, I don't have any hair. I. I shave my hair. My, my head. And he was asking me why and everything. I said, yeah, that's what I do. I go, I just. The only thing I got to do is keep my beard trimmed. And I asked him, I said, hey, I. Are you going to grow, are you going to grow a beard someday? And he goes, no. And I said, why not? And he goes, because I'm not a dad. And I don't drink coffee. I drink water only. It's just too goddamn funny. And he bought at this book fair. I got him this Shark book. And he is absolutely obsessed with it. He actually brought it to the barbershop and it has. Comes with like these shark teeth that came in a clear plastic thing on the front. And he is absolutely obsessed with it. But it's like a really like advanced book. So when he gets the book, he goes, dad, I don't want you to read it. I just want to look at the pictures because it's, it's really like, I don't know, it's kind of for like an 11 or a 12 year old, to be honest with you. As far as like the detail that it, that it has. All right, World Cup 2026. Baldy bastard. Billy, longtime listener, first time caller, parentheses emailer. You actually had some remnants of hair when I first started listening, if that gives you any idea. This person goes on to say, anyway, oh, God dang it. What did I just do here? Went back up to the top. Anyway, you used used to show a short live interest in football, soccer to you, and now I'm curious if that interest is reigniting now that the US and specifically Los Angeles are hosting the World Cup. I'm definitely gonna go. And my kids are really into soccer, as are a lot of kids nowadays, and you know, I take them to soccer practice and stuff and, and I actually really enjoy the game. But as far as like, my interest in it, like, I don't have time. I would have to abandon an American sport. And the only way I can explain that to you is would you abandon, you know, soccer for an American sport or what is that the, the seven nation rugby thing where you win a trophy or the wooden spoon for the worst team? I mean, you're gonna, you know, it's what, what happens is whatever you watched like growing up, it's really hard to break away from that and make time for a new sport. For the simple fact that like, the amount of like memories, like going to that Bruins game and just going with the old school Bruin fan and talking about the Boston Garden and laughing and just having like the best time. Like, I don't know, you have all this time invested in these sports to just like walk away from them. I don't know. I don't know how they can do that. But I've seen people do it. I've seen like, it always fascinates people that can change allegiances. I mean, I did get into Moto gp. I mean, maybe that. I guess that's one thing. Anyway, I must continue on here. This person says, I'm from Scotland and this week we, we qualified for our first World cup in 28 years, which sent the whole country into a state of euphoria due to the ridiculously dramatic way in which we qualified. All right, well, I'm in. I want to hear the story. You may have Irish blood, so a Celtic connection there already. I have Scottish blood too. England, Scotland and Irish, Ireland. I have as far as I know. I mean, I never did a 23 in me because there's no way I'm not going to find a serial killer or something in my family. And I ain't no rat. No, I actually, the real reason why I don't do it is because I'm not giving a corporation DNA. You saw what happened. They turned around and they sold it to the cops. It's just, it's just fucking wild. The just complete lack of privacy. And all of these, these politicians through kickbacks are just letting these corporations do it. It's really an amazing, amazing thing in a sad way, which reminds me, I wanted to like develop a bit about how the only way I'm making sense of what's going on, the insanity of what's going on in the world right now as far as climate change, whatever the they, the new way that they want to call it instead of global warming, climate change, like the change of the seasons, them admitting to spraying chemicals into the atmosphere, what they've done to the food supply, false wars, you know, Venezuela claiming that they caught mercenaries, you know, kidnapping Venezuelan soldiers. They were going to switch uniforms and allegedly attack a US ship. It was allegedly CIA backed to get us in a war down there. And I'm like, oh my God, like what is like all of this shit going on? And then you have like religion and all of that stuff and that there's this loving God that made us and is judging us and all of this stuff. And. I was just thinking about like, if God really loved us, he wouldn't make all of these awful people. And I'm thinking maybe he makes these awful people because he wanted a beginning, middle and end of humanity. And I remember reading this thing one time that there's this bacteria in your gut and it's in the, in your, your body from the second you're born. And that's a whole other religious argument, but I'm saying like, whatever. The day you're holding your newborn baby, everybody has this bacteria in their gut and it's for when you die. And when you die, the bacteria activates and it's what begins to decomposing of your body. And I kind of view. Like, if there is a God and he's made this system and everything, that if he's a loving God, he wouldn't make sociopaths, psychopaths, greedy people in all of this. He would never have made that. And all of those types of people are leading humanity, marching us briskly towards the end. And I almost view those people as the human form of that bacteria that's in your gut. I tried it one night on stage and people were just staring at me like, I don't know where you're going with that there, baldy, but have fun with that premise. Anyway, getting back to the sports thing, you may have Irish blood, so a Celtic connection there already, but you also being a sports fan and fan of live events with passionate crowds, I have a strong feeling you would get goosebumps watching these highlights. If that doesn't set off some interest in the World cup for next year, then nothing will. You know what I'm gonna do? I'm actually gonna hit pause and watch that. Okay. I just watched the highlight. Yeah, that was fucking amazing. All right. For all the Americans listening, Scotland went up one nothing. Then it was one one, playing Denmark. And then it was two one and then two two. And then they scored the third goal, and then they scored the fourth goal. But. But, like, you gotta. You gotta watch. I'll put the clip up there. I will say the bicycle kick, the header. And then, of course, that last goal from center Isis, they say in. In the United States. Yeah, that was amazing. I will say. What was is that red card on that guy from Denmark, number 13? He didn't even fucking touch the guy. Didn't even touch the guy. But other than that. And that announcer, Jesus Christ, if you haven't won it in 30 years. Like, he was, like, trying to jinx you guys. When he went up three or two, he's like, surely that's enough. Surely that punch is a ticket to go to America. Then, of course, Denmark comes back and scores. Ah, yeah. Cunt. Yeah, that was. That. That was definitely. Yeah, but this is the thing. Like, if I watch. If I watch soccer, a soccer game over there with crowds with that level of passion and singing and doing all of that stuff, I can get into it over here. The only time it seems to get like that is if the Mexican team is playing in la, then the level of excitement, it still doesn't match. You know, what I just watched or the games I see in, like, South America and stuff. Africa, the Middle east, everything. Like, it's just. I mean, that's your guy's sport. That's what you grew up on. That's your memories and all of that stuff. But like, yeah, that definitely was. That was awesome. I'm not gonna lie to you. I, I do. I don't give a what sport it is. I definitely have an appreciation for any sort of dramatics that has to do with sports and then fans absolutely losing them. I mean you could hear from the crowd like the years that these people have emotional investment in this team. So that's amazing. Anyways, this person said goes on to say, so I do hope that you are excited to host the greatest show on earth, even though you will only likely be hosting us for three games before we get knocked out, seeing as we know we're shite. Really. Oh God, I love that part of the world. You guys are fucking hilarious. Scottish people are fucking hilarious. And they're not even trying to be, I swear to God. They just are. It's amazing. It's effortless, effortlessly hilarious. Anyways, continuing, if LA is to host a Scotland match, please share the location for where Your source your factor 50 sunscreen as you certainly won't be the only pasty bastard in town that week. You know what? I might go to the fucking Scotland game. I might go. In the meantime, go take a flying fuck to yourself. Ben from Scotland, living in London behind enemy lines. I really want to thank you for that. I think you just gave me a not only. I mean this is what I want to. To be honest with you, I want to go to the Scott Scotland game because is that's the part of the world most of my, my lineage is from. And then I got to go to a South America, some team from South America because of. I remember the first time watching the World cup and watching Argentina and Brazil and all of those teams and the fans going crazy. I should go to a couple of games. I really should do it. You know what? God damn it, that's a great idea. And you know what's going to happen is I'm going to be having like acting work or something. I got a couple things I'm doing next year that are going to take like a month and God knows it's going to happen during the fucking World Cup. But thank you for sending me that and anybody else if you know obscure sports for an American, if you want to send them my way. And soccer still is not an obscure sport, but it's, it's just down the list. I can't believe that announcer. Surely, surely that's going to be enough. It's like I even. I was going, shut the up. Don't jinx them. All right, surfers. Charlie, The Scottish fans have nothing to worry about. Oh, for the love of Jesus. Surfers Journal. Hey, Billy beach ball. Gotta be talking about my head and my coloring was flipping through the pages of a relatively recent issue of the Surfers Journal and came upon a portrait of you at Fenway park by the talented Brian Nevin. You were sporting a Red Sox ball cap while peeking through the scoreboard. Great shot. Well, you know what? I'm in my office and that picture is literally. I have it framed above me right now, above my couch here. The caption read, I do a lot of commercial work with celebrities. Usually get 30 seconds to take their portrait and their assholes the whole time. But I ended up spending six hours with comedian Bill Burr before the show. He was super cool. That's nice because such a camera cougar. What were you doing during those six hours, jokes aside? Oh, six hours, I think I was doing. Well, we weren't. We walked around Fenway park. Then we did some, I think, other shots in Boston. And then he must have gone on like the press that morning too. He probably did that. He probably met or he also watched the show. It could have been that. I don't remember. That was a long time ago. But I've never had a six hour, like, photo shoot. So if I remember correctly, you know, we took one. I got a great one of me near the pesky pole calling the phone, the. The bullpen phone, sitting in the stands, being inside the Green Monster. And then the fan load in the show, the fans leaving. I think he. He shot the whole show. I believe that that's what it was. And then he probably hung at the after party afterwards where they let us smoke cigars in Fenway Park. So it was probably all of that. Anyway, jokes aside, in my mind, the publication is to the surfing world. What? Wait a minute. What are you talking about? Jokes aside, in my mind. Oh, publication is the surfing world is to the surfing world what the New Yorker is to the literary world. I worship Surfers Journal as one of the few resisting temples in a vastly commercialized surf world. Seeing your mug in it was a great surprise, yet unsurprising. You managed to be popular and on the edge. Okay, enough with the ass kicking. Ass kicking? Sorry. I went back to my childhood. Okay, enough with the ass kissing. Go fuck yourself once and for all. Hope you return to France in the future. A la prochen, mon ami. I think that means the next Time, my friend. Or it's just an expression that means I'll talk to you soon or something. La semen pro shed means next week, dude. I'm really getting good at that fucking shit. Like, reading it and listening to it and understanding it, and I'm starting to understand chunks of dialogue. It's really exciting because, like, you guys, I was in the public school system, and it gives you all of these ideas. Sorry, I accidentally hit stop. What was that? Public school system? Yeah, it gives you all of these ideas about yourself. Most of them negative, most of them limited beyond teaching you to read and write. Like, they. They, you know, they get you into some sort of, like, popular, not popular sort of pecking order. You get this, you know, you're sort of like, here, here's a book. Read this, learn this, be tested on this. And you start getting this idea that life is just a series of people older than you telling you to do that you don't want to do. And you don't really get this thing in your head that, you know, when you go out into the world, you're free to do what you want to do, and you're free to make, like, decisions. So one of the things that I got in my head was that I had an inability to learn another language. And what was really going on was, you know, was the beginning of my childhood trauma started affecting my grades, and I had, like, massive, massive, massive add. Massive. Like, I remember it used to take me, like, 20 minutes to read a page in a book. It felt like everything that I was reading made me think of something else. And for a long time, I was like, oh, I just had, like, add. I think a lot of my inability to focus had to do with a lot of the. That happened to me that someday, I don't know. I've always wrestled if I would ever, like, really delve into that stuff in some form. But I. I really feel like I want to because I know that that stuff continues to happen to kids. And you get, like, this just this negative sense of self. Because I can definitely tell you that the younger me never would have thought that I would be able to learn French. Never would have thought that I would be able to get through ground school, get a pilot's license. Never thought that I would have the courage to go on stage to. To become a comedian. Never thought that, you know, all of this shit that I'm doing, like, I never. I didn't think any of it was possible. But fortunately, I met a few people, you know, as I was just Sort of ping pong and bouncing around in life that just somehow eventually led me into a comedy club and through stand up comedy and doing well as a comedian, it gave me a belief system in myself and made me then look at the public school education in a different light. And I discovered things like I enjoy reading, which is not something that you think going through the public school system when you're constantly told to read, you have no interest in whatsoever. Especially, you know, when you're a kid and you're, you're, you want to go run around and play sports and you become a teenager and you're falling in love and you know, puppy love and all of that. Yeah, I want to read Beowulf. What the am I reading this for? Hey, Bill, what did you think of that story? I thought it sucked. You know, I, I, it took me like nine hours to read it. However, I can read the sports page in five seconds. And sports are not dumb. They're amazing. Sports are amazing. And if you play sports, it's amazing. And what it does for you and what you learn and learning through winning and losing and, and learning more through losing and how to pick yourself up and all of that reading, that's the one that just stuck out where I just really felt like I'm just dumb. That Beowulf, I don't know who wrote it when it was super old and I, and it's in this old fucking English and I'm just sitting there reading this shit like I had a hard enough time reading modern English and I'm reading this, I had no fucking idea what it's about. And then I get tested on it and I flunk it. And then like they, you know, they're calling your parents because I don't understand a fucking story, you know, written fucking a thousand years ago. Like I'm going to go out in the world and have a job interview when the guy across to me is going to be talking like William Shakespeare. It's, this was the stupidest fucking thing. Really dumb anyway, so don't give up on yourself because of however you did in school or whatever your pecking order was and all of that stuff. It's stupid. The whole thing is stupid. And all of those people, you never see them again and they have all of this influence on your life. All right, Billy, French question. Oh, Billy Baguette reaching out with a French question. I recently started working for a French company. It's based in New York City. But I will have to go to France quite a bit. And about 50% of my colleagues are French. It is in the French alcohol industry. So there's a lot of popping into stores, bars, and restaurants. When we go to France, dude, I mean, that's what that country is. So much of that country is that, I mean, that's a dream job. The person says, I want to jump straight into the, what they all call table French to make this easier. Basically not sounding like le Jacques in a bar, at a restaurant, words for drinks, ordering, all that crepe. But I don't want to get on the usual duolingo and do levels of the cat knows a dog. I want to jump to this specific type of vocabulary because it's what I need to know the most. But then I can get into the rest from there. I do speak Italian Italian fluently, so the structure of romance language is there for me also. I know the super basics already. Numbers, colors. So I'm looking for tools, resources to jump right into this type of vocabulary. I figured you'd know all the good merd for this type of learning. Merci beau. Coo. Billy rouge. Billy Grouch. Well, you, you can speak Italian. How did you learn how to do that? You're actually beyond me because you're fluent in English and Italian, so. All right, if you're ordering, I would go with J, which means I would like. And then I would just, I would, I, I, you know, whatever types of restaurants you're going to, I would learn. Yeah. I. How do you just, like, jump in? If I walked into a French cafe. Bonjour, monsieur. Creme cafe. I don't know. Pano, chocolate. I don't know. You just. Jambone is home. Fromages. Cheese salad, verd salad. Verdict? I don't know. You just have to learn. Duval. I'm trying to think. I don't, I'm a little rusty here. You just, if you want, you know, le mem shows means more of the same. You can point at your drink. Unotro sivu play means another. Yeah, I would, I guess I would just learn how to order. I would, I would maybe just get like, a list of food and then a couple of phrases. I don't know. That's a weird thing to do. And, But I would still be doing, I would still be doing some sort of duolingo because you, you're going to need, like, all of, like, those connecting words, like also the. And some. Yeah, I don't know. I, I, I don't. Yeah, I like duolingo. Duolingo is great. I also read, like, French newspaper, Leon, and I listen to the radio over there. Isn't that €1 channel? I don't know. I actually feel like I don't. Don't feel like I can help you. I feel you could help me. How do you speak Italian? Fluently. That's another. I love that language. I like all, like Spanish. I like French. French, I like Italian. And I was listening to this guy yesterday when I. A couple days ago, I took my son to the barbershop. Like, he was speaking, I think, Russian. And that is just completely, like, you know, where you hear, like, Italian, French and Spanish, there's a lot of overlap, especially with Spanish and Italian, from what I've heard. But you can hear, like, okay, these people grew up next near each other. But when you hear Russian, you're like, okay, this is like, this was a world away, you know, before travel technology and all that. If you live that far away from the Mediterranean Sea, everything sounded like that different. But I don't know, I'm sort of obsessed with all of that stuff. But, yeah, I would just get some, like, phrases or whatever. But you're also going to be with, like, French people. I would start talking to them in French, trying to, you know, it's like learning an instrument and jamming with your buddy. Oh, I play guitar, too. Or I play bass. I play drums. And just. I would start doing that before you get over there. And I think you. I think you'll pick it up pretty quick. If you already speak two languages, I feel like you probably have some sort of system. Unless you just grew up in a duolingo house. So you don't really remember learning English and Italian. It just was. But if you learned Italian after you learned English or if you learned English after you learned Italian, I would think you have some sort of system. I would be interested in that. And if people out there have a system that are fluent, I would love to hear it. All right. When websites say they're out of the day, I scrolled back up again. Yeah, I think that's the end of the questions, which will end up being the end of the podcast here, which is a little short. That's what she said. Because I've been up all night now. Up all night, sleep all day. That right. What's. What band was that? That was right at the end. Right at the end of. Oh, the band began with it an S. Not Savage, not Sabotage. What the was the name of that band? I don't remember. That was like, right at the end. I, like. I think, like, Jane's Addiction had already released Two albums at that point. Alice in Chains was about to release their second one. Nirvana was about to come out. Sound Garden was going to put out their second one. I know Soundgarden out of all those Seattle bands, that's my band. Soundgarden is the. And I feel like they are. They. That was the best rock band of that era. I would put. I would put them up. As far as that style of music. I love Pantera from that era. It's gonna make me go fucking out my garage and go play drums at 4 in the morning. I can't do that. All right. I need to get sleep because my kid's gonna be up soon. And I make breakfast. That's my job. I do the breakfast every morning to earn my keep. All right, everybody, have a wonderful Thanksgiving. I'm thankful for all you guys for listening to this podcast again this year. Everybody that came out to my shows, anybody that gave me any work and, you know, anybody that came out to Broadway this year. Thankful for all my. My experiences traveling and all of that. Going over to Saudi Arabia, the fall out of it, and getting to be in the middle of one of those even that was interesting. And all of that fucking shit. Yeah, it was. Yeah, it was a. It was a hell of a year. And thankful to my lovely wife and my kids and all of this stuff. I really have a great life, and it's thanks to you guys for coming out to my shows and listening to this. So thank you from the bottom of my heart. And with that, go fuck yourselves. Have a great Thanksgiving, and I'll check in on you on Thursday, I guess, on Thanksgiving. All right, When I go outside, walking past people hugging each other, crying or whatever the fuck they're doing. All right, I'll see you.