← Monday Morning Podcast
Monday Morning Podcast
The Game, Dean's Birthday, Beer Scam | The Thursday Afternoon Monday Morning Podcast 2-6-26
02:16:23
Loading summary
Transcript505 lines
- [00:00]
A
This episode is sponsored by Quince. A well built wardrobe is about pieces that work together and hold up over time. That's what Quince does best. Premium materials, thoughtful design and everyday staples that feel easy to wear and easy to rely on even as the weather shifts. Quinn says Everyday essentials I love with quality that lasts. Organic cotton sweaters, Polos for every occasion. Lighter jackets that keep you warm in changing seasons. The list goes on. Quince works directly with top factories and cuts out the middlemen. So you're not paying for brand markup, just quality clothing. Everything is built to hold up to daily wear and still look good season after season. Plus, they're the only partner with factories that meet rigorous standards for craftsmanship and ethical production Guys. It's cold right now in New York City. It was one last week. I was in la, but I saw it was one last week. It's the coldest winter ever. It's in New York City, but thankfully I picked up a wool coat which is holding up way better than any other coats I've bought that cost way more. Looks good, keeps me warm, didn't break the bank. So refresh your wardrobe with quint. Go to quint.com tafs for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns. Now available in Canada too. That's q-u I n c e.com tafs free shipping and 365 day returns. Quiz.com taps hey, what's going on?
- [01:26]
B
It's Bill Burr and it's time for the Thursday afternoon, just before Friday Monday morning podcast. And I'm just checking, I'm just checking in on you, you know, just seeing how's it going. Gonna run my yap for 30 goddamn minutes.
- [01:41]
C
Been talking all morning, pitching show.
- [01:47]
B
But here I am getting ready for Super Bowl Sunday. Hey, Bill, you going to the game? No, I am not. I'll be in the vicinity. I'll be up there. I thought about going to the game, but like, when I went to that, that KC San Francisco game, I just couldn't believe how long the commercial breaks are because I'd gone to. I hadn't been to a Super bowl in like 20 years and it's always been a bit of a spectacle. But I don't know, I'm just, I'm into the game. I want to see the game. I want to hear the announcers, I want to know what's going on. You know, I don't need somebody from the fucking Food Network doing cartwheels with some K pop band, whatever the whatever brand Adjacent shit is going on. It's really fucking crazy that these athletes that perform in the Super Bowl. I would really think that the. The head coach is like, part of your game plan. Has to be talking about the pacing of the game, how long halftime is, how long the commercial breaks are, how many, like, things that, like, how do you keep your head in the game going away that. I mean, there's enough time to heal from an injury on some of those commercial. Hey, I'll tell you, it's a long time.
- [03:10]
C
You know what I'm saying? Yeah.
- [03:14]
B
And then just then also, like, this whole, you know, I'm. I'm just. I've aged out of going to games. I feel like games of that magnitude when there's going to be an extra level of, like, Comic Con, people just, like, dressing up. I was just joking with a buddy of mine said back in the day, you could tell what somebody did from a. Live for their. For a living by what they wore at a game. Do you see people dressed in jeans and a T shirt? Someone else would have a suit on. You just fucking came from work. You just went to the game. You didn't have to dress like you were on the field, and then you didn't stand up unless something exciting was happening. That whole new thing that I stand up and I yell the whole game, and that means I'm more of a fan than you are. I mean, it's like, I don't understand.
- [04:05]
C
I don't. I don't get it.
- [04:07]
B
I don't know why you're wearing eyeliner. I don't know why you have a football helmet on. Um, why you feel the need that you. You're gonna be the cheerleader of the section? I don't know. Where did it start? Did it start in Cleveland, first with the dog pound, when there was grown fat men eating dog biscuits thinking they were intimidating the other team? I always love that you think your costume is intimidating people. It's like they have to deal with actual violence in the result of concussions that are going to affect their quality of life until the day they die. But, you know, you're over here dressed like Boba Fett. I'm sure that that's a major distraction. So anyway, yeah, the.
- [05:00]
C
Let's.
- [05:00]
B
Let's fucking go. Whenever that started, I think players started saying it first, and then everybody else starts saying it. I just saw this great highlight of. Even, like, in women's sports, they're doing it, and there was this great highlight of this woman rounding third base, and she's going in to home plate and the ball gets there and she fucking leaps over like head first over. The catcher goes past home bait and comes back and touches play. It was an amazing play. But then when she gets up, she, she, she gets in the catcher's face and goes, Yeah, that's surprised. Like that's when I stopped clapping. I'm like, why did you just do that? I don't, you know, if you, if you get up to the plate next and you strike out, then what happens? Does the pitcher walk all the way up to you and go like that? Dumb shit. And I'm not going to blame women because guys started doing. I don't understand that. And then that is now bled into the stands. Like the amount of people in the stands that should get a flag for taunting. Like I don't, it's like I like my team, I'm rooting for my team, but I understand that I'm not doing anything. So as much as I'm giving athletes shit for making a play on somebody else and yelling in their face, at least they did something. At least they did something. But to be in the stands, like that's never made sense to me that it escalates to the point like when like the fighting in the stands, it just never. Somebody's rooting for another team and you escalate it to the point where there's a fight and then you get escorted out by the cops and possibly.
- [07:03]
C
Are.
- [07:03]
B
Now facing some sort of assault charge.
- [07:08]
C
I don't know.
- [07:09]
B
Dads getting into fights at each other, at kids games like this. There's just a lot of people that aren't happy with their own lives. That's, that's kind of like what I'm feeling. And listen, I'm not saying that I don't get like ridiculously into shit, but like I don't get, I've never gotten so into something that I'm going to taunt a perfect stranger.
- [07:40]
D
Oh maybe.
- [07:40]
C
Hell, you know what, you know what?
- [07:41]
B
That's not right. Maybe like in like when I'm driving road rage or whatever or something like that. Even like in my stand up back if somebody like heckles me or whatever, like I try to keep it. I'm not trying to escalate it to like a physical confrontation. I'll deal with the person. But like I usually just like ask questions or something of something of that nature. But I don't know, maybe, maybe I'm not. Maybe, maybe it's cuz I don't want that smoke as the kids Say maybe I'm not tough enough to be in, to be in this world. I don't. I don't know. I don't know what it is, but like, it is kind of fascinating where I. You see, like, when fans act like the people on the court, like, where does it start? Who's influencing who? Who's the parent, who's the kid? Yeah. And is there an age where you're too old to wear like a jersey with another man's name on your back like your high school sweethearts? Anyway, all right, I think I've said enough. Having said that. Yeah. I'm just gonna, you know, kind of watch it over a buddy's house up there. Gonna smoke a cigar, watch a little bit of the game. This is my last, by the way. This is my last weekend of cigars.
- [09:02]
C
And then I go back on another.
- [09:03]
B
One of my three month sabbaticals.
- [09:08]
D
And.
- [09:08]
B
Then I'm just sort of on my way. But anyway, let's talk about this week. I finally watched that Bruins Tampa Bay Lightning game, the stadium series, and Jesus.
- [09:18]
C
Christ, we were up five to one.
- [09:21]
B
Ended up losing the game, I think six to five and haven't quite finished the third period. But like that, the last five minutes, seven minutes of the second period is the most undisciplined period of hockey I. I think I've seen in a long time. It was like contagious. We just kept taking one penalty after another. And as much as like the, the refs missed that penalty On Tampa and McAvoy got in the guy's face, he was right. All the penalties they called on us were right. Like I didn't know what we were doing. It was one of the, one of the greater acts of self sabotage I've seen in a while. So, you know, it was such a.
- [10:09]
C
We were playing.
- [10:10]
B
We completely took the crowd out of the game. And in five minutes they had two five on threes and then we got another penalty. But there's no way for you to go down. They won't have you out there. Five on two. So what they do is they send somebody to the box and I think it just extends how long you're on five on three. The guy was trying to do the math. They literally ran out of places for people to sit down. Like you ever see back in the day when, like an extra pilot would fly. Like Leonardo DiCaprio in Catch Me if youf can. They had that little jump seat. I didn't realize there's a little jump seat in the penalty bucks. Once you get three people sitting there, then there's this extra one. They just sort of pull it out.
- [10:51]
C
Like a folding chair.
- [10:52]
B
We had four people in there. It was like Castellig was in there. I think Corali was in there for covering up the puck, Castellik for cross checking somebody after they scored on a PO.
- [11:05]
C
Fucking Swayman.
- [11:06]
B
Our goaltender. The guy had like 11 penalty minutes in his career. Got seven minutes in the final, like seven minutes of. Of the second period. One, two for delay a game and five for fighting when they had a great goalie fight. So the goalie fight was great, though.
- [11:23]
C
So I know he played Florida. I heard it was a great game.
- [11:26]
B
I don't know who won, but if I was a betting man, I would have bet on the Bruins just because of that brain fart of the second period we had and they would want to redeem themselves. And as far as I saw, I think Marshawn is day to day. I think he was out for the Panthers, which is weird, saying Marshawn's out and being relieved after all those years of rooting for him when he was wearing the Bruins jersey there. So, anyway, plowing ahead, I did the. I did Dean Del Rey's 60th birthday party at the Avalon. We did the Bon Scott tribute again and just had so much fun. Fun doing stand up. Ian Edwards, Byron Bowers, Russell Peters, Dean and myself, everybody just screwing around. And all these people were there. My half brother, now that everybody knows, was there. Jerry Cantrell was there, Gene Simmons was there. He showed, he came out and he played. It just was. It was insane. Mikey Nez, Josh Z, Billy Rowe, Dean Del Rey, of course, and Steve Gorman. And then, you know, Brad Wilk was supposed to be there. Unfortunately, he got the flu. And at 10 o' clock at night, the day before the gig, Dean text me. He goes, can you reach out? Can you. Can you somehow get to Chad Smith? So I knew somebody that knew him, reached out to him within five minutes. Chad's like, all right, yeah, I'll do it. What time's the show? And we're like seven o' clock doors, eight o' clock show. He goes, all right, I got something to seven, I'll be there. And he showed up. He didn't even do soundcheck. He just sat down and played and crushed it and didn't even meet a miss a beat. So Steve Gorman was already crushed, and then Chad crushed. And I had to follow those two beasts. And not only are they obviously professionals and they're amazing, they're also really tall mountain, mountainous men. An old fucking average sized billy goes out there. I could adjust every. I just left the hi hat where it was and I just had to bring the snare to where I could, like, handle it or whatever and went out and played. I had a great time. I thought it was the most relaxed I've played.
- [13:56]
C
Made a bunch of mistakes or whatever.
- [13:57]
B
But I was able to just, you know, not drop the beat or whatever and drum sounded great.
- [14:03]
C
And.
- [14:06]
B
I don't know, I just. So I. I did. I did Sin City, which, you know, just classic, you know, Phil Rudd tricky shit or whatever, but that's more like just being locked in with like, sort of his feel or whatever. So I did that one and Dean sang that one. And then the second one, I did Dirty Deeds with Alison Mossheart, who was.
- [14:29]
C
Just like a total, you know, I mean, she fronted Dead Weather.
- [14:33]
B
I mean, she's fucking unbelievable. Just unbelievable. And her energy was crazy. And that really helped me. So I wasn't like, nervous because I was just. I was watching like a fan. I was like, oh, look at her.
- [14:44]
D
She.
- [14:45]
B
She is a woman possessed when she gets up there and sings. And then Dean came out, came back out and we finished with oh, hell ain't a bad place to be, the. The live version of it, which is one of my favorite songs off of that album. And that killer, if you want blood, you got it live album. So. And Josh Homme came out in the end and sang. The fuck did he sing? Night Prowler. I know, I'm forgetting people. There was so many goddamn people on that. Oh, Justin Chancellor from Tool played bass on a couple. Yeah, man, it was. It was kind of the who's who of everybody that I listened to in the 80s and 90s, man.
- [15:39]
C
It was just.
- [15:40]
B
It was unbelievable. So thank you to Dean and happy birthday to Dean. It's just like one of the great, like. And then all the fans who came out, they get so fucking into it. And it's such a fun show because I feel like it's like the crowd and everybody on stage is all expressing how much they all love the same band. So this is synchronicity that's going on. That is. It just was just. I don't know, it was such a good time. And by the way, too, like, I play all the time in my little drum room or whatever, but to actually play like a drum kit, that's like mic'd up and it just sounds like. I don't know, it's. It's like. It's like Going from a riding a little electric scooter to being on a motorcycle, it's just the most amazing feeling in the world. And I always end up. I always end up learning something. Like, I feel like that night, as far as learning drums, I. I like watching Steve Gorman when he does his. When he does the sound check. And even then I was going, I see what he's doing here. He's sort of like. He gives him the dynamics, you know, he just sort of hits the snare a few times. The loudest he's going to do it. The quietest he's going to do it. Then he plays a little fill on it. Then he does the same with the rack Tom. And then he kind of adds both drums. I was just sort of watching how he did that, where. So the person could dial in each drum individually. And here's. I'm going to be sort of throughout this gig playing the drum from this level to this level loud. Here's what these two drums sound like together. And then in the end, here's what the whole kit sounds like. I saw that thing and then seeing Chad Smith come in, not rehearse at all, and sit down and sound like he's been playing with these guys for, like, 10 years. I was like, oh, that's not Chili Peppers, Chad. That's studio musician Chad Smith, where he likes his plate on people's albums, where, okay, this isn't a Chili Pepper thing here. I have to come in and figure out what this person's vibe is and how. I don't know. You just listen to the songs in the car, just sort of made. He didn't have anything written down. He just sat down and played them. And if he made a mistake, I didn't see where it was. It was fucking amazing. It was really amazing. So, like, I said thank you to Dean and everybody who came out. It was beyond, as always, beyond a great time. And anyways, what do we got? So the Super Bowl's coming up this week. I like the. You know, if I can get the Patriots around four and a half. I love the Pats. I feel like if you take. If it's at 3, because I haven't looked at the line. If it's at 3, I feel that's going to be a push. I just think it's going to be a close game. Seattle is obviously the more talented team, and I think more of a powerhouse of a team, so we're going to have to shut that down. So it's going to be like, this is going to be like one of those Belichick games where he shuts down John Elway in the Fun bunch, Jim Kelly and the Run and Gun or when he shut down the Rams greatest show on turf. Like we're going to. I mean, not saying their offenses are that level, but like we're going to have to do something. We're going to have to out coach them is what I'm thinking. And I think. I think we got a fighter's chance. I say I feel like this game is. It's like a pick them with a four and a half point spread, hopefully. And I will, at that point, I will take my New England Patriots. It is something that they. Nope. That they won't bring up because for whatever reason, I don't know how we pissed off people in the NFL. I don't know what happened, but we never get our props. Like the way they blow Seattle. My God, their fans are just so loud, right? And literally their owner was fucking their own fan base that time when he was. He was charging the extra money for a large beer and it was the same amount of beer. And the guy still has a nerve to go around smiling like he's on your side. He's a piece of shit. I'm not saying Seattle Seahawks fans are pieces of shit. I'm saying your owner is a piece of shit. Who does that to their own fan base?
- [19:58]
C
How much fucking money?
- [19:59]
B
They already made him buy your stadium. Now you're going to focus on the beer, you cunt. Anyway, I don't know. I just got all upset with that guy, you know, this is the deal. If the Patriots win the super bowl, that will be their seventh super bowl win, giving them the most super bowl titles in the history of the Super Bowl. So we will have the most super bowl titles and we will have the most NBA championship. So two out of four of our teams will have the most fucking titles in the sport. Which isn't. We're already tied and we have the most, which is incredible. Do you think they ever give us props for that? Now all the.
- [20:42]
D
Because it is way the footballs.
- [20:44]
B
They just do that shit to us. And then meanwhile, New York City has like nine zillion fucking teams and they all suck. They all suck. And they live on the past of the fucking New York Yankees. And then they act like some unbelievable. You know, they blow that place. I don't.
- [21:02]
C
I will never get it.
- [21:03]
B
I will never. I will. I will never understand that. That New York. I guess it's because there's so many people there that's where the money is. I mean, if you want to take it out of Boston, you know, like, just, just, just go with like, the NBA. Why do the Knicks get the level of attention that they get during the fucking playoffs? They suck every fucking year. They blow it. They blow it every fight. They've blown it for over half a fucking century. And they're, they get more goddamn attention for losing in the second, third round of the playoffs every year than I think the Golden State warriors and San Antonio spurs got combined. I'll even throw in the Denver Nuggets when they won it that year. That was such a great story. Well, that guy was like, there's a parade. I don't want to fucking go. You could give a shit. That was like, really interesting. Now that's Denver. There's no money out there. It's a bunch of dirty white people rafting, drinking Coors Light. Anyway, sorry, plowing ahead. Here, let me, let me do the, the reads for the week. What do we got for this? This Thursday, Zip recruiter, Zip back. You know, it's hard to find people who are so good at what, at what they do. If you're hiring for your company, this is a busy time of year for you because You've got new 2026 goals, which means finding the right people to accomplish them. Hopefully your goals are doing the right thing. Hopefully your goals aren't. Like we're going to make more money.
- [22:36]
C
And dominate the market.
- [22:38]
B
Unfortunately, you also have new hiring challenges for 2026, like filling specialized roles or identifying qualified candidates from a huge pool of applicants. Thankfully, there's a place you can go that can help you conquer these challenges and achieve your hiring goals. It's zip, and right now you can try it out for free@ziprecruiter.com Burr hey, bop. ZipRecruiter's matching technology works fast to help you find top talent so you don't waste any time or money. With this wonderful ZipRecruiter advanced resume database, you can instantly unlock top candidates contact info resume database. You can. All right, well, as long as you just. Long as they put their number in there. Let's hope you don't have contact info because somebody bought some floss at CVS. All right, four to five employers who post on ZipRecruiter get a quality candidate within the first date. See for yourself. Don't listen to me. See for yourself. Just go to this exclusive web address right now to try for free ziprecruiter.com Burr Again, that's ziprecruited.com.
- [23:49]
C
The smartest way.
- [23:50]
B
To hire all right, what do we got here?
- [23:52]
E
Sorry.
- [23:53]
B
Stomach is growling here. Cal she and I'm looking at my lunch that I'm going to eat the second I'm done here. Cowshi this episode is brought to you by Cowshi. The largest the largest prediction market in the US Cal. She allows users to trade events contracts peer to peer rather than playing against a sportsbook. Available nationwide, including in California and Texas. Well, wait a minute.
- [24:20]
D
Why.
- [24:21]
B
Why wouldn't you just say available nationwide? Nationwide would include California and Texas.
- [24:27]
C
Download.
- [24:29]
D
You can get.
- [24:30]
B
You can get this anywhere you want. The United States, including Rhode Island. Why are we singling out California and Texas? Download Kalshi and use Kalshi K A L S H I and use code Burr B u r r to get $10 when you deposit. Calce is the largest prediction market in the United States. I have no idea what a prediction market is and it lets you do something unique. Trade on whether things will or will won't happen. Forget sports betting where you play against the house. Calce is peer to peer trading. Think of it like this. You buy. Oh, they're going to explain it. Here we go. You buy a yes contract if you think an event like parentheses will the New York jets win the super bowl this year? Will Kendrick Lamar win album of the Year? Will President Trump pardon Diddy before 2027? You know what I liked about those? Each one became more believable. You buy a no contract if you think it won't happen. You're trading with users similar to buying or selling a stock and you can jump in or out of your position at any time to lock in a profit or cut a loss. I don't know what this is, but this is fascinating to me. Kelsey is where you put your money, where your prediction is. Download the Calci app and get $10 when you deposit with the code Burr using promo code Burr b u r har when you sign up to get $10 when you trade a hundred.
- [25:55]
A
This episode is sponsored by Quint. A well built wardrobe is about pieces that work together and hold up over time. That's what Quint does best. Premium materials, thoughtful design and everyday staples that feel easy to wear and easy to rely on even as the weather shifts, Quinn says. Everyday essentials I love with quality that lasts. Organic cotton sweaters, Polos for every occasion. Lighter jackets that keep you warm in changing seasons. The list goes on. Quince works directly with top factories and cuts out the middlemen so you're not Paying for brand markup. Just quality clothing. Everything is built to hold up to daily wear and still look good season after season. Plus, they're the only partner with factories that meet rigorous standards for craftsmanship and ethical production guys. It's cold right now in New York City. It was one last week. I was in la, but I saw it was one last week. It's the coldest winter ever in New York City. But thankfully I picked up a wool coat which is holding up way better than any other coats I've bought that cost way more. Looks good, keeps me warm, didn't break the bank. So refresh your wardrobe with quints. Go to quint.com tafs for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns. Now available in Canada too. That's q-u I n c e.com tafs free shipping and 365 day returns. Quiz.com tafs.
- [27:22]
F
Forget everything you had planned for this weekend because you are sitting.
- [27:26]
C
On your couch and winning from the.
- [27:27]
B
Comfort of your own home.
- [27:29]
C
I'm here with spinquest where you can play hundreds of slot games, all the table games you love, and you could even win real cash prizes. New users, $30 coin packs are on sale for 10 at Spinquest.
- [27:43]
F
Spin Quest is a free to play social casino void where prohibited. Visit spinquest.com for more details.
- [27:51]
B
Anyway, plowing ahead. You know, they're talking about. When I was just reading that ZipRecruiter thing, I was just thinking, like, how amazing would the world be if people that ran companies weren't greedy and just paid people a living wage? Like, why won't they do that? Like, everybody would just be happy. Like, and you could still make money, you know, why do you have to make all of it? Like, what if they just fucking paid you enough money where you could make your rent, you could buy or buy a house, whatever the fuck you wanted to do. If you people in your family got sick, you could go to a place, they take it. Why the fuck are we still playing this game? That there isn't enough. There's plenty of fucking money, so everybody should be okay. But like the people at top, they want all of it. It's unreal. And we're going back. These fucking robber barons, we're going back to it. Like, people lost their lives to start unions. Why did we need unions? Because they weren't paying us a living fucking wage. And we're, we're going right back to it. And what kills me is the amount of people that are like fucking supporting these, these Modern day.
- [29:13]
C
Like, Robert Barons.
- [29:14]
B
I don't want to get all into this dark shit, but it's just like, oh, sometimes I think about that, like, just how fucking cruel they are. Like, why can't you just. Like, I don't know, if I ran some giant company, I have a little production company, I pay my people, but if I ran some giant thing, like, they'd be. I wouldn't want anybody who worked for me, like, laying in bed at night going like, oh, my God, my kid needs braces and I got to do. How the fuck am I going to do this? Like, it's one of those idiots said that shit. I want my. My employees to come to work afraid, go to sleep afraid, wake up afraid.
- [29:53]
C
I don't know.
- [29:53]
B
I think that that's like just some nerd shit. Like, that's how they felt when they went to school. So now they're sort of drunk with power. And they want, you know, the abused becomes the abuser.
- [30:07]
C
I don't know what it is, but.
- [30:11]
B
It'S so weird that we're all used to it. We're all used to. In this country, United States, we're used to the fact that if you get sick, even though you're making all of this money and you're working all of these hours per week, you don't have enough money to take care of yourself. You know, since I've been, like, in my 20s, American health care has been, don't get sick. It's fucking nuts anyway. And then if you say that, hey, you know, people, if they get sick, we know we should take care of them.
- [30:42]
C
What are you, a fucking communist?
- [30:46]
B
No, I'm just think that if somebody gets sick, as human beings, we should help them out. Oh, my God. That thought is radical. All right, anyway, enjoy the super bowl, everybody. As always, I will be watching it with some friends. And I tell you this, every year, you want to enjoy the Super Bowl. If you're just really into the football and not all the other bullshit, go hang out with some friends. Everybody shuts their phones off. You fucking barbecue or smoke a cigar, do whatever.
- [31:20]
C
Let the game get like an hour ahead, maybe even a little more. Let it get to, like, halftime. And then you just turn it on and you just fast forward through all the goddamn commercials.
- [31:32]
B
That's the way to do it, I think.
- [31:34]
C
Anyways, you don't have.
- [31:35]
B
You don't have to do it that way. All right, My stomach is growling. I have hiccups, and I'm looking at a pork chop. All right, I'm out of here. You guys have a great weekend. Enjoy the super bowl, and I'll talk to you on Monday.
- [31:53]
C
Hey, what's going on? It's Bill Byrne. It's time for the Monday morning podcast for Monday, February 5, 2018. What's going on? How. Yeah, how you doing? I'm actually doing pretty good after a Super bowl loss. Congratulations to the Philadelphia Eagles winning their first super bowl championship of all time. The first one. First one's the best one. If my team hadn't lost, I would have gone online or something like that just to watch grown men crying in Philadelphia over sports, which is one of my favorite things ever. I remember when the Patriots won their first one. I was actually at the game having gone previously to when we lost to fucking Brett Favreau. He took off his helmet and ran down the field. I bet his agent cried on that play. We're gonna make so much money. Look at him. He's so adorable. Have you seen a picture of his dick lately? No, I just remember when we kicked that field goal and we won, and I'm gonna say we, by the way, people go, oh, we. You were on the field. Yeah, well, I get shit when my team loses. All right? Whenever your team wins, people go, um, you weren't playing. But if your team loses, then they go, ah, fuck you guys.
- [33:23]
D
You guys lost.
- [33:24]
C
So suck a dick. All right, we lost yesterday. Anyways, I remember when we kicked a field goal to win the thing and everybody tackled each other. And I got up, there was this guy just standing. He was just standing, like tears in his eyes, like he was gonna start crying. And my eyes met his and he was looking at me. It's the weird. To this day, it's the weirdest moment that I've had with another male. I could see if we were at a funeral. Jesus Christ, you know, man the fuck up. And I also remember if I was in Philadelphia, I would want to hear from that guy. One of my favorite things this year in the football season was when that. When Carson Wentz went down and that Eagles fan called in the radio station and started breaking down crying to the point he freaked out. The radio host he called up, he was like, sort of complaining, and all of a sudden he's just like, I mean, when's it gonna happen for us? You know, every year it looked like they're gon radio just going like, buddy, buddy, you're crying. Oh, it was great. It was just great. So I would love to hear that guy's follow up call. He's probably crying Even more so I really wish when I finally saw the Eagles win the super bowl that they. They weren't playing my team. So I could have enjoyed it more. Because that is something, as a sports fan that I really enjoy. Because it's only a two. Two fan bases that I just wish. Wish eternal misery on. And that's the Yankees, because I have to. The same way they do it with Red Sox fans and the Montreal Canadiens. Other than that, you know, if you. I don't. You know, I would never wish that. You know, a fan base never got to feel a championship. So congratulations to you guys. All right. Now, having said that, I've had that Don't Henley song in my head this whole morning just thinking about the game, because there's always that fucking devastating shock when your team loses. And the song I woke up hearing today, for whatever reason, was Don Henley's Last Worthless Evening. And I was walking around the kitchen, I was just singing. That was the worst fucking defense that I've ever seen. Dude. That was the. You know, it was an exciting game, but if you really look at it, that was arguably the ugliest fucking Super Bowl I've ever seen. It was like both teams were in a fucking prevent defense the entire game. That was a fucking super bowl, people. There was two punts the entire game and no sacks, unless you count the Brady fumble, which I don't know how that works. If you slap the ball out and then you tackle the quarterback, if that's considered a sack. I heard them kind of alluding saying this was the first sack of the game. I was at a Super bowl party, which I usually don't do, but I got a kid now, and I went and actually, you know, I had a good time as a bunch of kids running around throwing balls and all that stuff. And I was being the lunatic sitting in the other room by myself trying to watch the game or whatever. But anyways, you know what's great about having a kid? You don't have to watch the halftime show. I'm gonna put her in the stroller and go for a walk. So I don't even know who played the halftime. I just kept walking by the front door and I kept hearing music. And when the music ended, I came back in. And then somebody goes, hey, great timing, Great timing. It's like, hey, you know, I've watched a few of these. Watched a good 40 of them. Anyways, I've never seen, like, the defense was so fucking bad in that game. It was literally like, how did either one of these Teams even make it here. I don't know if it was the weird matchup or what. I mean, I don't know anything about the fucking Eagles considering I thought that fucking Sprolls guy was still playing. But I did call it with the running game. I just didn't know was that fucking dude, he got from the Dolphins, whatever, right? But I knew that that was going to be a problem. Yeah, I don't know what the fuck happened to the Eagles, but I will tell you. The New England Patriots, the game this season where I went like, oh boy, oh Jesus, we ain't winning it this year was when we played the Pittsburgh Steelers and we went down, we went down and we scored. The fucking game was over. There wasn't enough time left, even with Big Ben. And then we gave up a 90 yard screen pass. And the only reason why we won that game was because of that stupid fucking. Is it a catch isn't a catch. Now when he catches the ball here and he turns and starts running with the ball, we don't know if he has possession as he possesses the ball and reaches over the fucking goal line. My number one thing I want them to fix in football is that fucking rule. I don't remember there really being a huge. Is it a catch? Isn't it a catch controversy before they fucked with that rule. So every once in a while, you know, you try to make the game less controversial and you do dumb shit like that. Or even the Tuck rule. I mean, that was fucking stupid. That was a fumble. It's the stupidest. Fuck. He tucked it in. I don't know, but I don't know the rule book the way they do. It's fucking dumb. And all you Raider fans who are jumping up and down because of Patriots fans said that that was a fumble. Go watch the fucking roughing. The passer call that you guys got back with old Kenny Stable and Ray Hamilton jumping in the fucking air that gave you a goddamn super bowl, okay? So why don't you take off your fucking Rocky Horror Show Scary Raider costume and shove it up your ass. All right, Sorry. Still a little upset that my team lost tacking fucking Raiders fans who are about to become the most profitable fucking franchise in the modern NFL era. Era. The second they go to Las Vegas, they're going to do so well in Las Vegas. This is my prediction that I'm going to say the Rams will eventually move to Reno or Laughlin, Nevada or some shit, right? So anyways, getting to the game, that was the ugliest fucking game collectively of team defense I've ever seen in my fucking life. I don't remember seeing a punter the whole game. I haven't looked at the stats, you know, because my team lost. So, you know, you go on radio silence. I'm not going on social media because not one Eagle fan talked any fucking shit. And I already looked at my. My feed last night. Somebody's like, all this. It's like, where was that before the game when your green knees were shaking? I think there was two punts, no sacks. Other than, I guess, that Brady thing, if they count that as a sack. Okay, if you told me before the fucking game started, I'll just say, because I don't know what happened. I'll say the Eagles punted once and the fucking Patriots punted once. You just told me, all right, you're not going to sack Nick Foles once, and the Eagles are only going to punt once, and you'll have one turnover. I'd be like, oh, boy. Oh, this is going to be ugly. We're going to get the living shit kicked out of us. And I bet if you told Eagle, I mean, what the fuck? What the fuck happened to the Eagles defense? I thought they were going to kill us. I was like, jesus, this fucking team looks like those giant teams. So they got that great front four. They got a fucking running game. They're going to fucking make Brady move, and we're going to. We're going to be frustrated and punting and all of that shit, and then they're going to have the running game chewing up the fucking clock. It was still a great game. And I know there's a bunch of Patriot fans whining about that trick play, who, by the way, Chris Collinsworth just couldn't get over that play. They kept going back to it. This guy's iconic play in so well, history. It's like, you mean the one the Patriots just ran five minutes ago? You see that at least five times a fucking year in the NFL regular season. It wasn't like this unique trick play. And if you watch college football, you see it about 40 times a year. It's just the standard fucking play.
- [41:44]
D
Now.
- [41:46]
C
I guess the legal formation is if there's. You need six guys on the line and the Eagles had five, and there was one guy a cunt hair back. So I don't know if you want to say that's a legal formation. I'll tell you this. With the defense played yesterday, and if they actually called that, the Eagles would have scored on the next fucking play. All Right. It'd be one thing if we were actually stopping them. I would actually look at that and be like, well, wait a minute. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. You know, my buddy said something funny. He goes, you know, if the Patriots scored on that and we actually won the game, they would be calling it formation Gate for the next three fucking years, which is hilarious. We probably would have lost a draft pick because of that play. But there's no fucking way on any level I would ever take that victory away from the Eagles. They. They totally. They won the game, all right? And this is how bad the defense was. Even on the last play of the game, they still had to give the Eagles fan base a heart attack when they batted the ball all around. I mean, like, there was like three Patriots that had a shot at the ball. It was a. As was like hanging in the air. Just a really weird, weird game. But I can say this. I am really happy for. For Eagles fans and the city of Philadelphia. And I know that I. I will always be sort of connected to that city as if I hate them. I don't. I never did. It was just. I had a bad show. I was in Philly and I went after this shit that you loved. But I. I really. The only time I ever really hated a Philadelphia team was when the Celtics and Sixers had that great rivalry. But other than that, you know what I mean, we're in the afc, you're in the nfc. We were in the Adams division, you were in the Patrick's division. I actually used to like the Flyers back in the 80s because I liked fights. And I remember rooting for them. I think they played Edmonton. I forget who they played, but they were going to lose the game. And out of nowhere, Ron Hextall had an absolute shit fit. And for whatever. I've never seen a goalie do this.
- [43:46]
A
Just.
- [43:46]
C
Just skated out of the crease and started fighting. Somebody just completely spazzed out, ran out, skated out, I should say. But after a while, I couldn't become a flyer. I couldn't stay a Flyers fan because they reminded me of how I was living my life, where it's like, well, this worked fucking 30 years ago. Let me. Let me keep trying it every year. You know, they kept trying to beat their way to the cup because it won. Because it won him a Cup at 74, 75. And then they continued to do it well into the 2000s. So anyways, what else? I made a couple of notes here. I think that was it. I think that was it. Anyways, but this one, it doesn't hurt the way those Giants ones hurt. This one is just. This one just kind of sucks. But anyways, congratulations. That's great. So now the Philadelphia Eagles, in the last 10 years, they Philadelphia team, the city of Philadelphia, has won a World Series and they won a Super Bowl. So now they need the Flyers. It's 76ers to win, which I don't know how the that's going to happen. So anyways, there you go. There's my super bowl chatter. Once again, congratulations to the Eagles fans and, you know, Patriots fans. Here's. Here's the. Here's the positive that you can take from it, all right? The team 100% overachieved this year, all right? Not having Edelman the whole year, having Gronk concussed. And Brandon Hooks. Cooks, I should say Hooks. Brandon Cooks essentially knocking himself out of the game. I've never seen anybody do something like that. When he peeled back, I literally yelled, what the fuck is he doing? I've never seen a guy peel back with the ball and be looking the wrong way and get himself knocked out of the game. This should have been like Benny Hill music playing.
- [45:52]
D
I don't know what the.
- [45:53]
C
I think he was so surprised. He was that open. He didn't know what to do with. He. It's like he had his own public park to himself. Anyways, here's your. As Patriots fans, how you can get past this. Just be happy, you know, every. Every time the Patriots win the Super Bowl. You know, when you really think about it, you know, have you ever gotten a ring yourself? You don't get a ring. All you have to do is now go out and buy a championship T shirt and get a subscription to Sports Illustrated. So it's nice, you know, to avoid that expense. Anyways, so there you go. And now the worst feeling ever. Almost as bad as your team losing the fucking super bowl, is that football season is officially over. No college, no pro, no Canadian, no nothing, whatever. You got March Madness coming up. Formula one starts next month or whatever. But anyways, congratulations to the Patriots on a great season. And once again, congratulations to your super bowl champion Philadelphia fucking Eagles. Man, who would have ever thought. Now wait a minute. Let's go around the league. So who's left? We all know the Cleveland Browns. They certainly didn't take a step towards winning one this year, but you never know. Sure, they got a bunch of draft picks go around the league. Patriots obviously have won. Giants obviously have won. Jets won Super Bowl 3. Eagles have won, Pittsburgh has won. Ravens have won. Washington has won. Carolina Panthers. 02 Tennessee Titans lost to the Rams. And one of the great Super Bowls of all time. All right, they never won. As the Houston Oilers, they did win an AFL title, I believe, the first year. Jacksonville Jaguars never won. So there's. There's three teams that have never won, and the Browns, that's four. Bengals never won. That's five. Lions never won. That's six. Dolphins have won, Tampa Bay's one. Atlanta never won. That's seven.
- [48:16]
B
Oh, shit.
- [48:17]
C
There's still a lot of teams left. New Orleans has won. All right, moving on up. Minnesota never won. Bears have won. Kansas City, Chiefs won Super bowl four. Cowboys have won. Houston Texans have never won. That's nine. Broncos have won. Arizona Cardinals never won. That's 10. San Diego charges never won. Jesus Christ. This is really saying about how many dynasties there's been in football. The Rams never won. Raiders have won, 49ers have won. Seattle have won. I probably missed a team or two there. So 12 teams haven't won it. 20 teams have. Well, I guess, you know something? If when the Patriots, we say the Steelers have won six, Patriots have won five, 49 is one five, and Cowboys have won five, that's 21 of the 52 Super Bowls right there. Spread out against with just four teams. Giants got four, so that's 24. Packers have four. That's 28, so that's one four, like, six teams have won 28 of them. Well, I guess that kind of makes sense, then. So I guess it's. There's really no shame at this point, you know, having never won a fucking super bowl, considering, like, a lot of those teams I mentioned were expansion teams like the Panthers, Texans and fucking Jaguars. All right, there you go, Another goddamn season out the window. And I have to be honest with you, I am really fearful, you know, with Tom Brady going to be turning 41 here, that it might be a long, long time before we ever get back to another one, if we don't get back next year. Because I'll never forget, you know, everybody talks about Dan Marino, who undeservingly gets all this shit for having never won a Super Bowl. I mean, the game had passed his coach by. He never had a running game. He never had a defense. He still did what he did. Was he supposed to tackle people, too, and come up with the fucking game plan? The man would literally throw for 6,000 yards a season if the rules of past coverage were the way they are. All right? Now, that guy went to a Super bowl in his second year, I believe, in 1984. Not only did the Dolphins never get back during his career, they've never been back, period, since then. So that was 34 fucking years ago. Dan Marino was 23 years old. He's now 57. That's how fucking nuts this is. So I'm telling you right now, when Brady and Belichick leave, you know I'm gonna be 50 years old. If we go through what the Dolphins go through, I will be 84 years old, still waiting for them to get back. So I don't take any of this for granted, because there's a lot of Patriot people who hate the Patriots. Go, you guys. Must not even be exciting anymore. It's like, no, dude, it's fucking unbelievable. I'm trying to enjoy every second of it, because I always think, okay, this is the last time we're getting back. Thank God we won. This is the last time we're getting back. Ah, fuck, we lost. This is the last time. Oh, we lost again. Oh, we won. We won again. Now we fucking lost. Y. I don't know. I don't know. It's fucking. You know. And for all you Patriot haters out there, I mean, you're really. Paul Verze said it best. He goes, it's like you're literally watching something you're probably never gonna fucking see again. That level of dominance. But I do understand, you know, if you love your team and all that. But anyways, I. We are definitely. I don't know where we are in the run. We're definitely in the final 10% of it, and I don't know if that was the last of it. We shall see. We shall definitely see. But, you know, here's the thing. If they never get back again in 34 years, or they do, either way, I'll be sitting there watching because I have nothing better to do. Okay, what is that, 20 minutes in? All right, let's read a little bit of advertising, shall we? Shall we? All right, stock calm. Enter. Burn. Look who just came in. The one thing that can put my smile on my face after a Super bowl loss. My wife and my beautiful daughter. She insisted on coming in. Okay, come on in. You know what? I don't know what happened last yesterday in that Super Bowl. I can't explain. There should have been Benny Hill music playing during that game. Can you give us your breakdown, honey bunch? What happened? Pushing the microphone away. You don't even want to talk about. You're so devastated. That's because you're spoiled. Because this.
- [53:13]
A
Hi.
- [53:15]
C
Hi. Hi. The Patriots won the super bowl every year of your life until this year. That's right. She's 1 years old and they've already been there twice and all she knew was winning. Sorry, sorry that you had to learn this ugly lesson. Oh my God, if they showed Nick Foles wife one more friggin time, I get it. Isn't it unbelievable? I guess I have to say, as a redhead, the way blonde people get treated. I swear to God, if she was a brunette, maybe they would have panned past her face to some fat Eagles fan eating a cheesesteak. Are you gonna say anything? You just throwing your hands up? Is it weird that I have headphones on and a microphone here? You can't say hi? You say mama. Nothing, nothing, nothing. She's speechless after that loss. Right? There you go. There's the mama. Can you say hi? Can you say hi, buddy? You can wave. Hi. Hey, who played the halftime show yesterday? Justin Timberlake. Oh, it was Justin Timberlake. Oh, shit, I should have watched that. I was pushing her up and down the driveway, having a grand old time. All right.
- [54:28]
D
Hi.
- [54:30]
C
All right, let's stop trying to show off here. Let me. Let me finish my podcast here. All right, Come on, say bye. Bye. They haven't showed a quarterback's wife that much since Kurt Warner's, you know, although she was a brunette, so there goes that theory.
- [54:48]
B
All right.
- [54:50]
C
There'S stupid pom pom hat on. You're in an indoor stadium. All right, Bill, don't be a bitter douche, all right?
- [54:56]
D
I won't.
- [54:56]
C
Congratulations to Nick Foles wife. I was hoping that the Patriots were gonna kick the shit out of the Eagles just so I could have seen this sports headline. You know, if Nick Foles threw like three interceptions, they would have said Nick folded, but it didn't happen. All right, Formula one, let's get to the questions here this week.
- [55:18]
F
Oh, no.
- [55:19]
C
I gotta tell you about my show in Reno. So I want to thank everybody that came out in Reno, even the douche that tried to interrupt my show and have a YouTube moment. I fucking love that city, man. I had such a great time. I went up there and I worked with my buddy Rick d', Elia, who we started out together way back in Boston in 1992. I think he maybe started like a month before. We were trying to figure out who started before, but I always remembered seeing him and, you know, seeing a friend, you know, Jesus Christ. I mean, we're. I've known him for 26 years. I've actually known him longer than the age we were at when we met each other. So it was, you know, just all the stories were coming out and when he brought me up, he actually made a reference to this fucking hell gig that we did. Nick's Comedy Stop. Where I started, they, I remember that was such a big deal to work at that comedy club. It was just a legendary place. It was the house that, you know, Steve Sweeney and Don Gavin and all those guys built and we were both, you know, no name comics, just past being open micrs, had started hosting in like, you know, outside rooms, like Dick Doherty rooms and all of that. And Rita from Nick's called us up to do a private gig for Nick's Comedy Stop. And I, I couldn't believe it. I was like, oh my God, things are finally starting to happen. And you know, me and Delia found out, you know, we were working with each other, which should have been a red flag right there. Going like they called you too? Oh my God, they believe in us, right? That should have been a fucking red flag right there. Because both of us should have been opening for somebody who knew what the fuck they were doing. But instead we show up. It was the Fisherman's Feast in the north end of Boston, which is the Italian section, or at least it was back in the day. I don't know what, what, what goes on there now. Everything, the prices, they just driven. Every, every, any, any sort of like culture has been removed. Which is why I like going to be so called B, C and D level cities. Because there's still that unique vibe there. You'll go there and see stuff that you don't see in every other fucking city. You know, the same ten fucking corporate chains and whatever. Everybody walking around with their Instagram look on their face, you know. So anyways, we show up to this gig, it's outside, literally in the streets. Did I tell this story last week, I can't remember. And it was like a band on stage. When the moon hits your eye, like.
- [58:07]
D
A big pizza pie, that Samoy, right?
- [58:10]
C
And all the Italians are sitting there singing and you really just see that, feel this great sense of family, tradition and culture. And now you got these two pasty faced, you know, at least Rick was half Italian, you know, I'm German Irish, just standing there with my fire engine, red hair. So Delia goes on, nobody has any idea what's like this guy's like, now we got a little comedy and people like what the, what the is this guy talking about? And then Delia goes on Stage, stage, trying to smile through probably the biggest panic of his life. And I remember wanting to laugh at him, but I couldn't because I knew I had to go on next. So whatever he was feeling, I was about to feel. But at least I. And for me, it was going to be worse because at least before he went on stage, he had fucking hope. Like, well, maybe this will be good. But when I saw Ricko on stage, I had confirmation that this was not going to be good. I just remember him just fucking interrupting this great fucking party, which is so many of the early stand up gigs, you know, just interrupting something that everyone was totally enjoying and they really don't need you. And then they don't know that you're coming up there. And then you go up there and they're like, what the fuck is this? All I remember was when I went on stage bombing and just looking up and seeing all these old Italian ladies, like hanging out the window, just looking down at us like, like, what the fuck is this? Just afterwards, I forget we probably walked out of there. There's no subway stop. Harry walked over to our cars. I don't even remember. Anyway, it was great to work with him, but I was in the middle of my set having a great time, and I do this bit where I make fun of the troops a little bit, you know what I mean? And it's not even, you know, it's not even remotely. It's like a hilarious bit. The first time I did it, I did it at a VFW to make sure that, you know, the way I was doing it, I did in front of the troops, they were all dying, laughing. I mean, those guys there that lost their legs over there and. And they were still laughing, they love the bit. So I do the bit there, you know, and I've moved on from the bit. And at this point I'm making fun of isis and all of a sudden this. This guy walks all the way up from the back of the room. Unfortunately, the chairs were like, where he couldn't get all the way up to the front. He starts yelling at me, pointing at the stage, going, hey, show some fucking respect. That's what he started seeing. Trying to have his fucking YouTube moment, you know what I mean? And I was like, what? Show some respect for what? He's like, the military. Soon one of those fucking things like, yeah, I love how the military is just so fucking off limits now. That would support the troops. You just have to constantly be blowing the fucking military that you can't even make fun of somebody in the navy who all he does is swab the fucking decks and is getting a standing ovation walking through the fucking airport. I've done that fucking bit. It's in front of so many troops. They've all found it funny.
- [61:13]
B
This fucking.
- [61:14]
C
So much respect, you know, this fat fuck. Oh my God, I went off on that guy. Show some. Why don't you show some respect and lose some weight, you fat cunt. For your fellow American. For every time you get the middle seat on a flight and your fat man tits spill into the other. I'm so sick. I'm so sick of everybody being so goddamn offended at comedy shows and just making the whole moment about themselves. You fucking mouth breathing chimp. Jesus fucking Christ. If you can't fucking see through the fucking whatever that fucking expression is, see the forest through the fucking trees with all of this shit, I. I just can't fucking help you. And considering all the shit that I had said up until that point, I didn't show any remote respect for anything. Every fucking subject. That's what kills me. I blamed women for sexual harassment. That's how I started my fucking show. Where was the, where the fuck was he during that one? Fat fucking cunt. Oh my God, I was so fucking mad at that guy. I hated that security escorted him out. I appreciated that they did that, thinking that I wanted to it. I wanted to talk to that guy for the rest of the fucking show. Walks all the way up, you know, he was waiting for his Oprah round of applause when I told him to go himself. Everybody laughed. I can't believe that, you know, that's the classic thing at like a comedy show that usually ends up on the.
- [62:51]
B
Internet.
- [62:54]
C
You know what I mean? That self righteous douchebag, you know what I mean? Where everything else that I said up to that point was so fucking ridiculous and absurd. And then that's the one that you're gonna take fucking seriously. Like what kind of a fucking moron. That's what I was saying to this guy. He's like, do you really think I'm anti my own country, you dumb fuck? And when you guys come out to my show, when you see the bit, okay, it's so fucking pedestrian, it's ridiculous. I want to. Even when I did the fucking bit at the vfw, the troops came up to me and said, yeah, we say that to each other. But this fucking guy had to fucking, you know, take his hair out of his ponytail, tossle it around and come have his big fucking head rolling moment. Fucking kill Yourself. I hope you fucking have a heart attack, you fat fucking cunt. You know what it was, was if he didn't like the bit, then heckle me. The fact that he came up there and he's like pointing at me, yelling at me, like, he's like, I'm his kidneys and my dad. Anyways, anyways, let me. Let me just plow that. Other than that, the gig in Reno was awesome. And I gotta be telling you that that was actually more upsetting to me than watching my team lose the Super Bowl. All right, anyways, here we. Let's get into the questions here for this week. Formula one. Oh, by the way. Oh, Billy's getting in. Is continuing with his. Getting in fucking great shape, man. I've made the.
- [64:33]
B
I've.
- [64:34]
C
My goal is, you know, turning 50 in June. You know, through years of doing stand up comedy and trying to get a positive out of a negative. Five people showed up. What do I do here? Do I give in to the fact that there's five people, or do I make those five people, which they brought another 50? You know what I mean? When you fucking. I don't know. When you're in this fucking business. The greatest thing about this business, unless you knew somebody when you got into it. Most people get into it and they don't know anybody and they have no idea what to do, and they're standing out in the street in broad daylight in the Italian section of Boston eating your red dick. I mean, if you. If you don't figure out a positive mindset, you're really not gonna. You're not gonna fucking. You're not gonna survive. So I'm turning 50, which I used to think was gonna be devastating. I'm actually really excited to try to get myself in the best shape I've been in about 20 years. So I'm trying to get down to my. Basically the weight I was at when. In the shape I was in when I started. Now I'm obviously gonna fall short because no matter what I do, I'm still fucking about 30 years older. But that's not what it's about. It's about going for it and I'll still, you know. So anyways, I have a weight that I want to get into my fucking shoulder. The rotator cut feels great. And I finally have been able to get a regimen between all the information that I've gotten over the last year and I've put together a program that is really fucking working for me. And I have to tell you, you know what? I did the other day, other than taking my beautiful daughter to the park on the swing, which I think I'm going to do again today. It's my favorite thing ever, is she was on the swing. And I was able, you know, once I got the swing going, because I could finally lift my right arm over my head. I've been able to take my shirt off with both. I've had to take it out with my left hand. I haven't been able to take my shirt off with both hands in, like, over a year and a half, which has really fucked up my closing bit. Everybody, you know, because I really try to get sexy in the end, you know, I was actually able to reach up and hold on to, like, the bar above the swing. And I made sure I didn't put any weight on the arm. All the weight was. Obviously my feet were still on the ground, and I just gave it a little bit of a fucking stretch. And it was this. This tightness, but not pain. And because what happens, I found anybody else going through this is. Is when you have an injury like that, you get into this protective, like, the way you hold yourself, and it's crazy, man. Like, having not put my hand above my head for over a year, like, I. I can't physically do it anymore because those tendons don't get stretched, and all this just, I don't know, grows over it or whatever. They just. It's weird. It feels like. It doesn't feel like pain. It's like there's a doorstop and I just. Or a governor. I just can't go any further.
- [67:43]
B
So.
- [67:46]
C
After doing all these other exercises, I end with that, and it feels tremendous. It was funny. I was doing that while watching the super bowl, and one of these other Patriots fans was laughing at me, like, dude, you're really getting into this game. And I was like, no, no, sorry, man. I'm just fucking working out my shoulder. So anyways, I hope that helps anybody out there that has that issue so I will actually be able to work out. But the great thing is I've discovered bands, working out with bands, you know, in a door jam and all that, which is really going to help me on the road. And I think I'm done with the weightlifting for a long time. That's kind of what got me into this. Years of weightlifting and not doing enough back exercises. And the front part of my body was way stronger than the back, and it pulled my shoulders forward, and one of them came up, and then I, you know, was bench pressing and just the bones, I don't know that the rotator cuff tendon just rubbed on it and got inflamed. And then I was just fucked. And it's really something that if I, if I, if it ever happens again, I'll be able to get out of it in like, you know, six to eight weeks. But I just didn't know what to do. I thought, ah, this will work itself out. And then they just became all fucking glued up. So anyways, if you ever gone through anything just remotely physical like that, to finally just be able to fucking take your shirt off or brush your teeth, you know what I mean? Or put the shaving cream on my head. When I go to shave my head, I always had to put it in the left hand, you know, I'm fucking mess.
- [69:22]
D
All right, here we go.
- [69:23]
C
Formula one, everybody. Hey there, Billy the Red Face Cunt. I've been a long time listener for about 10 years now, and the podcast has always been a great break from the drudgery of everyday life. Especially back in my university, university days. Okay, I'm done blowing you now. Anyways, my grandfather, father and I are all car lovers. That's great. I remember following Formula one closely as a kid when Jacques Villeneuve and Michael schumacher back in 1997. I'm so pissed I missed that because everybody tells me I missed the great days of Formula One. Listening to you get into Formula one had me thinking of getting back into it myself. With that in mind, I decided to buy myself an early birthday present and bought tickets for the Spanish Grand Prix in Barcelona for this upcoming season for my old man and I. Dude, that's the shit. I'm trying to go to two races a year, so I'm trying to figure out what I'm going to do. It's either going to be Mexico City and Brazil, or if I do some tour dates over in Europe, I'll just bookend them with the race. We shall see. Obviously, Mexico City is deceivingly far away from la. Like, I always picture that it's just south of Los Angeles because, you know, you just go south and you're in fucking Tijuana. Let me look that up. Where the fuck is it? You know what? I got to hold the microphone here. Can I. Can I do this? Do I have this ability? Here we go. North America. I see a map. There we go. Come on, come on. Slow. Internet. All right. Clicking on it.
- [71:15]
D
Oh, yeah.
- [71:16]
C
It's like south of like fucking Houston or New Mexico or something like that, right? All right, where do we go? There's Australia. Where the fuck am I? All right, zooming in. I really should have hit pause. Oh, yeah. Mexico City is, like south of San Antonio. So it's like flying all the way to San Antonio. It's like basically flying all the way across and then all the way south again for almost the same distance. It's probably, yeah, the equivalent of flying to, like, Tampa or something like that. But then Brazil. If I go to Brazil, I mean, that's all the way. You always. I used to think when New York, when my buddies used to go to Brazil, that they were flying due south, and that due south actually would get you into, like, Peru or the western side of South America. I would love to go down there, too. Yeah, maybe I'll do that. And then I would actually be done with all the races on this side of the world. Who knows? That's such a cool thing that you're doing. Doing that with your dad, though. Anyways, plowing ahead. I know you like the Air India team. I also like the Williams Martini team. I just like their colors. And I don't want to pick a perennial powerhouse like Mercedes or Ferrari. So my question is, which team racer did you enjoy watching most? My father and I are going to pick a team to root for during the upcoming season to make our Father Son weekend a little more fun. Thanks and go fuck yourself. Who did I like? I actually, Daniel Ricardo is probably, you know, the closest to Lewis Hamilton. And I would also say I really liked Jesus. I'm so new to the sport and I haven't thought of them. That. That guy. Oh, I know. In his teammate there. His teammate was a maniac. Hold on a second. I got to make sure nobody switched out of the team.
- [73:14]
D
Let's see.
- [73:14]
C
Red Bull Racing team. That kid was like 20 years old. Drivers, here we go. Unless he switched teams, Max Verstappen was really fun to watch. I would say out of the youngest of the young drivers, he's probably the best. I don't know if he's still on the team. These guys seem to jump around like free agents. And then it's all about getting on the Ferrari or the Mercedes team, which, you know, two seasons in is getting a little boring. So I would like to see somebody else win, you know, so Max Verstappen. I guess that's what I would say. I would say that. And that's such a great thing to do. I've never been to Spain. That's amazing. I am going to be doing a gig, I believe, to celebrate my fiftieth birthday, I believe it's coming together over in Europe. I'm going to go, I think I might be doing a gig somewhere in England and then I'll be with my lovely wife and beautiful daughter and maybe we're going to go to France again. I'll try to polish up in some of my French, but if there's any races over there, you know what, you've inspired me. I'm going to talk to my, the guy who books me today and I'll be like, we got to, we got to figure out, you know, what Formula one race is going on over there, because I got to add that 50th birthday and go to a Formula One race over in Europe, man, that would be sick. All right, More Formula one shit. Formula One Grid girls. Hey, Billiam Wallace, big fan from Glasgow, Scotland. Formula one just announced that they're getting rid of the grid girls because they feel this custom does not resonate with our brand values and clearly is at odd with the modern day social societal norms. Same thing has happened with the darts and is looking likely for boxing and UFC in the future. Are these probably. Are these probably ugly feminists doing nice looking girls out of a job or are they doing the right thing? All right, I don't know what the fuck. I kind of know what you're trying to say. What are your thoughts? Cheers and go yourself, you cunt. Yeah, that's just all, you know, lip service, no pun intended. It's just bullshit. You know what I mean? And you know, I think it's all bullshit. Here's the deal. To say this custom does not resonate. To say it's clearly. Is it odd with modern day social norms? It isn't. It's a, it's 100% at odds with, with the public horseshit political correctness, which all political correctness really is, is being phony. You know what I mean? It's just, just denying what you're really feeling, denying what you really want to say, denying what you're really fucking thinking. That's why comedians seem so fucking outrageous. They always say, oh, you're saying the things that people think but afraid to say. They're not afraid to say it. They say it in their cars, they say it with their friends, they say it at home. You know, I'm not talking about being a racist fucking moron, all right? They're basically trying to say that men do not enjoy looking at beautiful women. This is against a societal norm that people do not gravitate towards beauty, both male and female. Like, if you're a good looking guy, you're not going to have your pick of the litter when it comes to women and vice versa. Like, if you're a beautiful woman that you're not going to have to fucking. You know what I mean? I mean, you can look at it in like a negative way. I always thought that because it was outside of this country that I always thought that they had a better way of presenting beautiful women. That it wasn't just like that Hooters vibe that we have here.
- [77:23]
B
Like, I like to stick my dick.
- [77:25]
C
Between those knockers, you know, the ugly way that we do everything over here, you know, I just, I think what that is is they probably got enough crap from these women's groups and they just don't need the headache, so. And I also feel that a lot of, you know, when they say the, you know, you're exploiting women and blah, blah, blah, blah, I think there's a lot of truth in that. I don't think it's, it's that way with this. I think that's, that's, you know, what are they doing? What exactly are they doing? Are they fucking, you know, twerking and all that shit? It's just a beautiful woman walking around with a ring card. That's it, you know, getting attention in a very safe way. I mean, what is the problem, you know? And I do know that, you know, the way guys can't handle a good looking guy who's fucking jacked down at the end of the bar, you know, a better looking guy with, fuck that guy, you fucking put him. You know, women do the same thing with the better looking woman that comes walking into the bar. They fucking hate him. That's. That's it. So I think it's pretty fucking childish. However, Formula one is on espn and you know, ESPN used to be great, but now they kind of ruin everything. So I'm going to blame them. They are. They obviously were too fucking stupid to keep Will Buxton, who was, was phenomenal at his job. I don't know. So, yeah, I think that's all. The whole thing is fucking dumb. And eventually there's going to be a backlash. God forbid there's a beautiful woman walking around on stage. God for fucking bid. And guys are like excited by it, like, you know, and fucking whistling a little bit. Who gives a fucking. Who cares? You know what I mean? This is my problem with feminism is that all the corrections are made for them, which is really kind of putting it out there as if that women don't need to adjust their fucking behavior in any ways when it comes to men. You know, and feminists get to speak in these unbelievable, like, broad, negative, no pun intended, blanket statements, but guys cannot. You know what I mean? I'll speak in some blanket terms for men. Hey, how about you earn your own money? How about you buy a round every once in a while? How about when you go through a divorce, you try to do something fair and try instead of trying to take every last dime you possibly can, you greedy cunts. All right, we're moving on to the next one. No, they don't need to adjust that at all. They don't need to adjust any of their fucking behavior whatsoever. They don't do anything wrong whatsoever. I tell you right now, if women died that much sooner than men, you don't think that there would be a study? You don't think that there would be a fucking ribbon? You don't think some way that they would blame men on some level that women die that much earlier than men if it was that way? I don't know. I think that that's why guys are so funny is because nobody gives a about us. They really don't. You know what I mean? They just don't. Anything that happens to a guy is, ah, dude. Yeah, but so. And so I hate to be here. Sucks to be him, right? That's it. That's the level of support we have for one another. All right. Deported father. Dear Billy Justice. Two and a half years ago, my father was deported to Mexico. He had been in the US since 1978. Since he was 13, my family struggled without him, financially and emotionally. It's been very rough. It must have been brutal. He's healthy and not dead, but he can't be with us. Yeah, that's got to be. Oh, man, that's fucking brutal. It's been very frustrating in words, can't describe it. I'm getting married in a few weeks and he wasn't able to be at the wedding. Every day I see people criticize Trump and can agree with their reasons for doing so. But my father was deported under Obama. My family knows three other people who were also deported under Obama. My white friends think they're good people because they liked Obama but never looked to see what was happening. They didn't care then, but they care now. It makes me feel very mad because it feels insincere and lazy. As a white man who seems fairly progressive, can you tell me why this is? What would you suggest I say to them? It's an emotional thing for me, so it's hard to choose the right words. Congrats on your child. I have two nieces and it's really the greatest thing to watch them grow. Thank you. What can you say to them? Oh, it depends on how open minded they are. People who are really into politics, which means they 100% watch CNN or Fox News all fucking day as if they're getting some sort of fair and unbiased newsfeed. You really can't say anything to either one of them. I mean, they're a lot like sports fans where I try to see, you know, I try to the best I can to see both. Like, I can legitimately be happy for Eagles fans, you know what I mean? I can legitimately look at fucking Derek Jeter and say, that guy's fucking great. And I can set aside my hatred of the Yankees or my wanting for my team to beat the Eagles yesterday, but, you know, it took me a long time to get there.
- [83:01]
D
So.
- [83:04]
C
I don't know. I mean, knowing the way I was wired, I would just walk right up to him, be, you know, just so you know, your fucking angel there, Obama, you know, who for some reason gets no shit whatsoever. I mean, it probably doesn't hurt that he went that his presidency was between two of the fucking. Two of the biggest fucking dipshits I've ever seen is fucking. Did I say dipshit? I even said that because trying to think over the fucking word I could say and not be too fucking offensive and think that I'm a fucking lefty here 100%, which, you know, most of the times I am. But I mean, you're not gonna fool me again when after that. And then this guy who fucking tweets all the time and then before that you had a guy shoving cigars in his. In fucking people's twats. I mean, it's been really rough since the first George Bush, who actually had the, you know, when we pushed Saddam out of Kuwait, didn't go into fucking Iraq and was strong enough to push back against the fucking corporations, say, hey, look, this is not. We were doing over here. We accomplished our mission and we're going home. That's it. You know, so it's been a long fucking time. So I think that there's a, there's a thing with Obama, at least he wasn't Bush or Trump kind of thing, so that people have a hard time seeing him. And I think he gets handled with kids gloves in the media, you know what I mean, they, you know, every Image of him, he's like kayaking or playing highlight. And all of this, like the joke I was doing in my act, like, it looks like an erectile dysfunction ad. And they're really kind of ignoring that. That guy for all the hope that he said and everything. And I know that that job is, you know, I don't know, like, literally, no, but I understand that it's an incredibly difficult job. And they always say if you can get one thing done. Which he did. He did get Obamacare through, so I guess it was an achievement. But I have to tell you, as someone who does lean left to watch him go on Tour now with $70 million of tour dates to go talk to a bunch of fucking bankers and corporations, you know, and all of that. And just, I don't know, it just. As far as the way I read that, that's just those corporations washing their bribe money. Like, we got you in office. You did what we wanted you to do. Now come talk to us for an hour and we'll give you a nice six figure paycheck and we'll all do it. And then you can be worth over $100 million. Like the Clintons. Like the Bushes and all. Like, it's so fucked up that none of them get called out on that. It's like the Bushes, the Clintons, the Obamas. It's like you guys dedicated your life to public service and the presidency is the highest paying job, which now is like a half a million dollars a year. If you do two terms, you're going to gross tops. You're going, what is that? 500 times fucking eight.
- [86:15]
B
What is that?
- [86:15]
C
That's four million bucks. And somehow they all. They're buying giant houses and they all end up being worth nine figures and everybody just looks the other fucking way. I don't know. So maybe there's someone within your group that is understanding enough and can see both sides of that. You know, like, if I said what I just said about Obama to a Trump person, they would be like, yeah, they would be going fucking bananas. But then if I even remotely suggested that Trump seemed a little emotionally unstable and that he's really doing the country a disservice to be tweeting and arguing with people on social media like a seventh grade girl. I don't even fucking respond to people on Twitter when it comes. Occasionally I do, but this is supposed to be the leader of the free.
- [87:13]
A
World.
- [87:16]
C
Trying to get a Trump supporter to admit to how pathetic and embarrassing that is. I mean, that's just kind of the world that we're in right now. But maybe one of those Obama supporters, maybe you could, you know, I don't know. But then also, we live in such a fucked up world. I'm gonna believe that you're actually Mexican and you wrote this and that you're not some white person that wrote this shit because they hate Obama. I have no fucking idea. You never know. There's no way for me to vet. So if what you just said was true, that is horrific. And I understand what you're saying about Obama because, you know, I think the best thing he had was he could deliver a speech better than Bush or Trump. But at the end of the day, even though the, you know, the needle kind of leaned more left when he was in office, the ship stayed on course, if you know what I'm saying. Now what I'm right now I want that guy from Reno to come walking into my fucking room here. Hey, show a little respect, all right? Boyfriend's best friend. Dear Billy boy lady here. Oh, here comes some red shoe diary shit. I have been seeing Slash dating my best friend for almost a year now, and we love listening to your podcast together. It's almost. It's absolute. It's going absolutely fucking wonderful except for one thing. Oh, this went in a completely different direction. I thought you would say you wanted to bang your fucking boyfriend's best friend. All right, okay. It's going absolutely fucking wonderful except for one thing. His best friend sends him pictures of naked slap slash half naked girls from Instagram to him. We recently became long distance, so I'm not sure of the frequency still. But before I moved away, he did it almost daily. My issue is one, his best friend girlfriend's complex plain to me about it instead of taking it up with him. And I tell him, I tell her to just talk to him. Wait, wait, wait. I don't. There's too many pronouns in here. I don't know who the you're talking about. Oh, his best friend's girlfriend.
- [89:33]
D
So the.
- [89:34]
C
The girlfriend of the guy sending the pictures complains to me about it instead of taking it up with him, and I tell her to just talk to him. And number two, it's actually hard to take that advice because I don't want him to think I'm trying to control his life. Some of these pictures are actually girls that they know and not just pictures from the chive or the coat of man. I don't even know what that is. My question is, do I have the right to be heard about out about this? Well, Are you hurt about this? Yes. I'm going to say yes. Are you a free person? Yes, as much as they'll let you be. So I would say yes. You do? If so, how do I bring this up to them? I've lost over £30 over the course of us seeing one another, and frankly thought it. It would stop, but it hasn't. That's not why I lost the weight, by the way. Did it for myself. Okay, well, that was weird. I thought all of a sudden you were stressing out or. Thanks for the advice and kindly go fuck yourself.
- [90:37]
B
Well, that's great.
- [90:38]
C
First of all, you got yourself in great shape. You know who's giving you a standing ovation right now? You're. You're fucking vitals. All your major organs are loving you. As we live in a world now where everybody's a hero, including overweight people. You know what I mean? I'm telling you right now, if your vitals were standing in an airport, you got off a plane, they would not be giving you a fucking round of applause. Staying in shape is the greatest fucking thing you could ever do for yourself, and you fucking deserve it. All right? And fucking stop playing the victim and do something about it. Admit to the fact that you're the one with the hand shoving that cupcake down your throat. Sorry, I'm getting off track here. I would actually. I absolutely bring it up to him. That's completely up. If that bothers you, you should say something. And the.
- [91:26]
B
That other.
- [91:27]
C
The guy sending the photos is being completely disrespectful to you and your. And your boyfriend. You know, he's happy in a relationship. Why the fuck is he doing this shit? Maybe he's jealous. Maybe he's a moron. I have no idea. I would absolutely bring it up to him and just say it the way you said it, like, you know, this is something that's bothered me for a long time. You know, this is so weird. I actually think if you don't get emotional, if you don't, like, cry and do the woman thing, which literally freaks most guys out. Or maybe I'm superimposing most guys with the way I feel like when a woman starts crying, I just start thinking like, oh, Jesus Christ, here we go. Now. How do I argue my side now? When you as an adult are actually crying about this right now, then I'm a pushover, okay? Because anytime my daughter cries, that's it. I'm done. And my wife just rolls her eyes at me just like, she's not even crying. She's whining, Bill. I'm like, what the fuck am I supposed to do? I just matter of factly just saying, well, you know, that really hurts me. But I didn't want to bring it up to you because I didn't want to seem like a nag. But I'm just letting you know that that really bothers me and I don't think it's right. And just imagine if we turn the tables and one of my girlfriends was sending me pictures of guys with their dicks out every day. Like, how would that make you feel? Okay, I'm not saying you have to stop doing it. I'm just telling you that it bothers me. Just put it on that and let him make the decision rather than coming. Because I can say it tell you as a typical guy, if you come out, I really need to talk to you.
- [93:11]
B
Yeah.
- [93:16]
C
All the guys thinking is like, oh, my God, oh my God, how the fuck. I mean, I understand that women are more emotional, but when you fucking do that, in a lot of ways it's not fair to the guy because there's no way you can argue with another adult that is literally breaking down crying, okay? I've been in relationships and I've seen women crying, you know, talking to me about something to this level, crying. And I'm thinking in my head, like, I haven't seen people crying like this at a funeral. So it really takes away your ability to argue your side if you have a side. And that causes resentment, you know, not to mention the fact that women can cry on cue. I swear to God, I feel like some of the time it's a manipulation tactics. But if you're able to just, just say it and just say, I don't.
- [94:11]
D
Want to be a nag.
- [94:12]
C
And I'm not saying that he has to stop doing it. I'm just letting you know that it really bothers me. And then if it was going the other way and I was getting dick pics sent to me every day, I don't think that you'd be too thrilled. And then just let him deal with that and then be like, I'm not going to say anything else about it. I'm just letting you know, all right? And then let him fucking deal with it and see what he does. That would be my advice. All right? Girlfriend has higher sex drive than me. All right? Dear Billy Fuck nuts. That reminds me of that classic Louis CK joke. Do you remember that time when he was dating the nymphomaniac and she kept going, let's do it again. Let's do it again. And it goes. And she was really just backing into me, and it really fucking hurt. And I wanted to say, hey, can you stop banging back into me before you rip my dick off, you fucking psycho? But instead I said, hey, take it easy, All right? Girlfriend has higher sex drive than me.
- [95:14]
D
All right?
- [95:15]
C
Dear Billy. Fuck. I started dating an old girlfriend from high school after 10 years of being apart. Oh, like When Harry Met Sally. Right. I'm now 26 and she's 27. We've been going steady for about seven months. I love that you said we're going steady. This guy's like an old soul. And everything has been great up until around Christmas where the problem began. To give you some background, I work from 7 in the morning. She doesn't go to work until 5 in the afternoon and gets out at 1. Oh, you go to work at 7 in the morning? You didn't tell me when you stopped, though. She doesn't drive, so I have to pick her up every night. The only day we have off together is every other Saturday. By the time we get back to my place, I'm completely exhausted and pretty much falling asleep while she's wide awake and usually wants to have sex. Recently, my sex drive has plummeted. Yeah, if you're not getting any sleep, it's gonna. And I can tell you that having a kid now, that's totally true. There's sex in your relationship. It just takes such a backseat. Your kid goes to sleep and it's like, hey, we could hook up, or we could get like 50 minutes of sleep and sleep at that point, it's like gold. Anyways, recently my sex drive has plummeted. Not because I don't find her attractive or because I don't care about her, but I'm just drunk, drained of energy after working 50 hours a week with maybe four hours of sleep every night. And after about five months of sex every other night, it starts to feel like a chore sometimes. I've been turning her down lately. This has caused a lot of arguments and fights in the past two months. That's probably because she doesn't know why. You know, guys, you know, generally speaking, are horn dogs. And any, you know, you could be in the middle of fucking having chemo, and your girl be, hey, you want fucking do it. You know, banging her while you stand up with that fucking drip in your arm. I feel like she doesn't respect my desire to get some rest. And I've suggested sex in the morning, but at that point, she's already pissed at me. All right, well, if you communicated it and she's still not willing to work with you, then she's kind of being immature here. She seems to think I don't care about her and that when I try to suggest maybe sex a certain amount a week, like three or four, she gets mad at me and that she always wants. Has to initiate it. I've been trying to be more consistent with being sexually available and more affectionate lately, like visiting her on lunch break and getting her small glyphs like flowers to show that I care. But the problem is still here. Yeah, because this is all. You're not communicating. When we do actually have sex, sometimes it's just boring for me because I'm not in the mood or I really don't have the energy to do anything but lay there. I really love this girl and don't want to lose her due to something like this. Do you have any advice for my problem? And when we come back, you bald ginger ball bag, I would say this. You guys need to sit down and have a talk and just say. Just say everything you just said to me. This is the problem with most relationships is people in it, say the things that they should be saying to each other, to other people, and then they expect the other person to be a mind reader. She has no idea that, you know how tired you are. Just tell her. And just tell her that you love her and that you're afraid that you're going to lose her and all of that type of stuff. And just say, the reason why I'm doing it. Not been in the mood is not because of you. It's because I'm fucking exhausted. I'm like a zombie. I'm getting four hours of sleep. And. And just tell her that it hurts you, that you're hurting her. So I really needed to clear the air and just sit down and clear the fucking air. All right? That's what the fuck I would do. Okay, that's the podcast. Once again, congratulations to your super bowl champion Philadelphia Eagles. Like I said, you know, I hope you guys know all the. All these. You know, I had one bad fucking show in Philly and everybody thinks I hate the fucking city. I actually love the city. Other than the fact you have 58 one ways going to the left before there's one going to the right, and then another 58 going left and then 60 going right after that. It makes no sense. Other than that. Yeah, I really don't have a beef with you. And a Lot of times, you know, I wish that show happened in North Carolina because I would have just stood on stage making fun of them for losing the Civil War and the fucking Charlotte Bobcats and Hornets and all. I would just make fun of all that. Losing their fucking team and all of that. That's what I would have done. I just happened to be. I was actually in New Jersey. That's the funny thing about all of it. All right, that's the podcast. Go fuck yourselves. I will check in on you on. What is it, Thursday? All right, see you.
- [100:14]
D
What's up, everybody?
- [100:15]
F
And welcome back to the Anything Better podcast show for the super bowl, everybody. That's right. This is the last one of the year. It went by so fast. Bill absolutely crushed it. And I believe you're 10 and one in the playoffs. 10 and two in the playoffs. I think I have four or six losses, something like that in the playoffs. I'm above in the playoffs, but I had a rough year. Jake and Andrew did great. But today we are here to about the big one. Is there like a nickname for the Super Bowl? Like, I know that, like the One bowl is the granddaddy of them all. Do they have anything for the Super Bowl?
- [100:51]
D
Is the granddaddy of them all the Super Bowl?
- [100:55]
C
I don't know.
- [100:56]
D
The shit show, the advertising shit show.
- [101:00]
F
The money grab, the fuck.
- [101:03]
D
No. We were said the last two football games of the year, the AFC and the NFC Championship game. If you're a football. If you're a football fan, those are the games you want to go to. Yeah, this fucking. This thing. I don't know. This is like if Martha Stewart is selling pots and pans at one point during the game, I wouldn't be surprised. It is just the biggest expression of capitalism in a bad way. Not Saying capitalism is 100% bad for all you fucking cunts out there. I'm just saying that it's like this is supposed to be. It's out of all the four sports, you know what I mean? Like, they would never do this in a Stanley. Any of the Stanley cup games, any of the World Series games, any of the NBA championship games. But this thing here, Paul, like, they haven't made enough money at the casinos at this point.
- [101:52]
F
Well, it's not even.
- [101:53]
B
Yeah.
- [101:54]
F
What I don't like about it is like the TV timeouts, even the game. TV timeouts. Like when there's a flow of the game, you're just waiting there forever and you're like, dude, get back to the game, man.
- [102:04]
D
No, it's just it's everything. Everything is for sale. Yeah, everything is for sale on this one. So like I said, I'm doing what I always do.
- [102:13]
C
I'm watching it with my buddies.
- [102:14]
D
We're shutting our phones off. We're letting the game get about 90 minutes ahead. Hour and 45. Then you turn the game on. You just fast forward through all of the bullshit so it's paced like the NFC or AFC championship game where it's just like I can stay excited.
- [102:31]
B
Yep.
- [102:31]
D
I don't have to sit through the Little River Band.
- [102:35]
C
Yeah.
- [102:35]
D
Singing a song or whatever they're going to be doing. Paul. Yep.
- [102:39]
F
All right, so here's what we're gonna do. We'll bring in Jake after. First we gotta shout out our sponsor. It is BetMGM, guys. We've been with them all year. Another year in the books. Sad how fast it goes by, but we always have a great time with them. The best lines in the game. But you guys, it's not too late because if you guys want to get in on the super bowl with us, all you got to do is take your device and you download the BetMGM app. You put a minimum of. You put a minimum of $10 in the account and you will get 1500 back in bonus bets. So bet responsibly. Have fun with that. And we have the first touch. Oh, our code Burr B u r r very simple. And then we have the first touchdown promo which we've had all year, where you pick any NFL player in the game to get the first touchdown. And if they do, you win. If they don't, but they get the second, you get your cash back. It's that easy. For the last time, Bill, this is sad. For the last time, we're going to bring in Jake the Snake for the injury report of the year.
- [103:33]
D
Jake, it's thing it's the sick of football season.
- [103:37]
F
But he's smiling. But he's smiling because he's a professional.
- [103:40]
D
I'll tell you who else is smiling. The ladies. Knowing that his schedule is going to be opening up with all that free time, Be the lucky lady to get knocked up by Jake the Snake.
- [103:55]
F
So Jake, I take it, I take it that there's pretty much not too many injuries since we got a little break here.
- [104:01]
G
Yeah, exactly. Not too many. Pretty much no injuries. People worry that Drake May had a shoulder issue, but it seems like he's worked through it as better is going to be good to go.
- [104:11]
D
So everybody's field incidents, anything like that?
- [104:15]
G
No, thankfully no off the field incidents. And Whatnot. I remember Stefan Diggs had incident a few weeks back, but they pushed. They pushed it back past Super Bowls.
- [104:24]
D
You know, so the man is passionate about his food.
- [104:29]
B
Or maybe.
- [104:30]
D
Or maybe the check. I don't know what it was about.
- [104:33]
F
And nothing with Seattle.
- [104:35]
G
Nothing with Seattle. Now, they thought one of their safeties was hurt, and then it was a mild ankle sprain. So, yeah, nothing to talk about there, thankfully.
- [104:44]
F
All right, so before we obviously do our picks, this is obviously not gonna. This is a shorter show because we have one game to talk about, but we do want to bring in some five, eight. I'm five, eight. Hey, after this. After this back surgery, I'm gonna be less than that. Andrew, you want to come in with some props?
- [105:01]
C
He.
- [105:02]
F
He suggests. He's my doctor. Just looked at the mri, and he goes, dude, he goes, I got a guy that, like, you have a textbook injury on that disc, and I got a guy that can fix it and make you better for years. He goes, why don't you just do it? I've been just holding it off for so many years, but I'm still holding it off. I'm gonna. I'm continuing to lose weight and strength, stretch. And I don't want to do back surgery until it's absolutely necessary. But, hey, I'll tell you, getting out of the car today, if you would have saw me get out of the car today, you would have been like, it's necessary, dude. I'm walking like, it's bad, dude. It sucks. But, Andrew, what do we got for props? Hey, dude, you too.
- [105:35]
E
Hey.
- [105:37]
F
I mean, this show, we always.
- [105:39]
B
When you.
- [105:39]
F
You could go, you could come to anything better. Ten years from now, it's gonna look like this.
- [105:43]
C
What are we doing?
- [105:44]
D
You got that Mediterranean. I think you will. I'm starting to look like a lobster fish.
- [105:49]
F
Dude, I saw a guy I went to heist. Dude, I saw a guy I went to high school with, and I'm not joking around, dude. I, I. The guy looked like. Some of these guys look like 60, 65 years old, dude.
- [105:59]
D
What's going like, yeah, some people, some kids, like, they age the way people used to age. Like, that guy's definitely not on social media.
- [106:06]
B
He just doesn't give a. I.
- [106:08]
D
It's. It's really, like, I think especially just in our business, because, you know, you get trashed all the time. You try to stay in shape, because the second you get a little bloated, everybody's all over you, which is great. There's an upside to the amount that you get trashed in this business. But, like, when you meet somebody your age and they look your age, you just like, God damn, dude. You didn't have to remind. It's just a reminder.
- [106:31]
F
It's how old we are.
- [106:32]
C
Yeah, yeah.
- [106:34]
D
The first time that started happening to me was, like, I was in, like, my early 30s. And I remember, you know, on the road, I just met somebody. I was thinking, like, you know. You know, just think, like, this guy's probably a couple, two, three years older than me.
- [106:46]
C
And I was in my early 30s, and the guy was like, 26, you know, but he was like, you know.
- [106:50]
D
He was middle of nowhere, 26, you know, had like, like seven kids already. Big belly.
- [106:58]
F
Yeah.
- [106:59]
D
Like, you've been driving a truck for, like, 50 years, and somehow he was still in his 20s.
- [107:05]
F
Well, the dudes that are, like, pushing 50 and were always overweight, you could see, like, the guys that just never. That were always over overweight. But, Andrew, what do we have for. What do we have for some cool prop bets here?
- [107:19]
E
Yeah. Jake put together a few. So I'll just go down the line. We can. You guys can react to them. Here's the first one.
- [107:28]
F
Hold on. That's funny what Bill said. It's funny what Bill said because they look at you online and they let you know as a performer, they'll be like, yeah, funny clip. But I see he's eating good lately. You're like, what the.
- [107:39]
D
They don't even say, funny clip.
- [107:42]
G
What happens with the athletes, too?
- [107:44]
D
They did like, bill, lay off the bread, you fat. Bill must be boozing again. Hey, Billy. Fat tits. It's Billy, man tits. It's just. It just goes.
- [107:55]
G
They were doing it on the anniversary.
- [107:56]
D
Your wife's like, we gotta go to the gym. Getting on the ellipticals.
- [108:03]
F
What'd you say?
- [108:04]
D
More. It's more negative than usual.
- [108:07]
G
Yeah, I was just saying they were doing an anniversary for, like, that Miami Heat team that won 20 years ago. And, like, all. Yeah, coming out and they had all the comments. Antoine Walker came out, and he kind of gained some weight. And all the comments. Like, that dude kind of.
- [108:22]
F
Kind of gained some weight. I couldn't believe it was the same. I couldn't believe it was the same person, though. Dude, that was really. And then this dude, the funniest thing. Eric Snow. The old Eric Snow of the. The early Cavs with LeBron. When LeBron was a kid, his teammate was Eric Snow. Dude, the comments. The comments that. The puns they used with Snow, dude. I'm not going to lie.
- [108:43]
D
It Was melting.
- [108:47]
F
Avalanche. Dude, nobody.
- [108:50]
D
Nobody gets it. Like. Like performance. Yeah, because there's nothing attached to us. So it's just open season.
- [108:57]
F
So the coin toss. So the.
- [109:02]
B
No.
- [109:02]
F
Andrew. What do we have for props, buddy?
- [109:05]
E
Why is the one that I just thrown up there?
- [109:07]
A
Hot start.
- [109:07]
E
Drake made a complete his first five passes plus 310.
- [109:12]
F
Dude, completing your first five in the Super Bowl. That seems a little rough, dude.
- [109:17]
E
Like it?
- [109:18]
F
No, I don't like it either. Yeah, because what if he takes a deep shot early? You know, I don't like that one. What else do we got?
- [109:25]
D
You should have said, what if Paul Versi is the offensive coordinator? Patrick, Paul loves Paul.
- [109:32]
B
He.
- [109:32]
D
He's gonna die on that hill.
- [109:35]
F
I told you.
- [109:36]
D
First wave from scrimmage, we go deep. We gotta stretch out defense.
- [109:39]
F
I gotta tell you though, one of the greatest things I saw, one of the greatest things I saw as a kid watching football and I'm thinking if he was the head coach at the time, I'm probably. It was Joe Gibbs's second time. I think it was Joe Gibbs second time around. Who they were the Redskins at the time. And first play from scrimmage, first game, opening night, and he decided, you know what? I'm going to make the D back shit their pants. And he had his dude drop back and threw like a 70 yard bomb for a touchdown. And they were like. And I was just like, yes. You know, so I think that's where it got planted. Bill, how many times do I text you? Why don't they just take a shot? Paulie, take a shot.
- [110:25]
D
Well, you're like one and done. You see something and then you're like, this is what they should do. They should do this every time. Well, eventually you would have tendencies, so they would be expecting it. Well, maybe we should go underneath. They're giving us a 20 yard cushion. He's got world class speed. A double. Just do a double move and just run a post.
- [110:48]
F
Dude.
- [110:49]
B
Defensive.
- [110:49]
D
Lay it out there.
- [110:50]
F
Defensive coordinators. Defensive coordinators would have meetings about me. All right, listen. Versus the offensive coordinator. D backs play back on first down.
- [111:00]
E
I just love the idea of Paul getting in the huddle. Like literally talking like the first play, like it's the end of the game. Like, all right, guys, let's put this thing away.
- [111:07]
C
Like we're going deep.
- [111:08]
G
Like there was a prop built for fall in there. There was. It was like either team to score a touchdown. The first play of the game, I was like, first play of the super bowl would be insane. So that was just Funny.
- [111:20]
F
Has that happened? I think that happened in, like, one or two Super Bowls ever. I think that that's happened.
- [111:25]
D
This is. Fult was the first guy to take a kickoff back for a touchdown. I don't think he did it on the opening play, though.
- [111:32]
G
Devin Hester did it.
- [111:33]
F
I was gonna say Devin Hester. Devin Hester of the Bears. This is Super Bowl 60.
- [111:38]
D
Oh, Devin Hester did it. The first play of the game.
- [111:41]
F
I don't know if it was the first play, but it might have been.
- [111:43]
G
I think it was because my dad, like, put it on the other room and I was like, I'll be there in a second. And then I was like, he already scored.
- [111:48]
D
So anyway, that's when they played the Colts. Yeah, Steelers.
- [111:53]
F
No, that's when they played the. That's when they played the Colts. And the quarterback was Rex Grossman.
- [111:58]
D
No, that's right.
- [111:58]
C
That's right.
- [111:59]
D
That's when the Colts made the way we covered their receivers illegal and they stole our offense and they won a Super bowl. And then they turned around and called us. Oh, that's right.
- [112:07]
B
That.
- [112:07]
D
Oh, that. That's Super Bowl Paul.
- [112:09]
G
Then Poland didn't vote for your boy or for Belichick. For everybody's guy. That was crazy.
- [112:14]
D
That was. Give a. You know who finally got in? Who should have been Roger Craig.
- [112:17]
G
I was thinking Roger Craig.
- [112:19]
D
Jesus Christ. Thank God.
- [112:22]
B
Dude.
- [112:23]
F
I was on radio this morning in Connecticut and I just said, what a. One of. They had an NFL agent on. He's got three players in the league. I mean, he's got three players in the Super Bowl. He's got two on the Patriots and one on Seattle. And he was on the radio talking, and they brought the Belichick thing up. And I just said the fact that Bill Belichick. This is how much of a joke the hall of Fame is? The fact that, you know, they were like, well, you know, the hall of.
- [112:45]
D
Fame's not a joke. It's the people who vote for it.
- [112:48]
F
Well, that's what I mean, though.
- [112:49]
B
That.
- [112:49]
F
That's what I mean, since you should have. They should be killed, kidnapped, and put in a room. If he's not in the first sickening. I got sick.
- [112:58]
C
Paul. Paul.
- [112:59]
D
It's a part of being successful. They just. Paul, that's. You have to understand, it's what's wrong with the world. Successful. Not everybody's going to be happy for you. Do you remember confident people who are positive they'll see you achieve something, Paul. They'll be happy for you, and they will be inspired. Yeah, man titted people that can't lay off an appetizer and eating bread past 8 o' clock at night, they're not going to be happy for you, Paul.
- [113:29]
F
Because he upset a couple of nerds because he was short in press conferences. Do you remember when Chevy made him work, Paul?
- [113:35]
D
You know, get a first ballot fucking hall of Fame from all of those fucking press cunts. Rex Ryan. Rex would write the article for him. They loved that guy. I'm not going up there. Kids was rigged. Yeah, well, his wife's feet. Yeah, he's as fat as they are. They fucking loved him. Yeah, Giving him fucking one word answers. Banging a 26 year old. I mean, and he's got eight rings.
- [114:01]
F
It's.
- [114:02]
D
He was reminding them on all levels that they lost.
- [114:07]
F
Do you remember, you remember, you remember Chevy Chase in Christmas vacation when he kidnapped Randy Quaid? When he goes, I want him right here, here with his, you know, taken from his place and so, and so in a big bow. And I want to tell them what I just picture. Like, I just want the hall of Fame decision maker to just be fudgeing in that situation.
- [114:27]
D
It's writers, right? It's just, just like baseball.
- [114:30]
G
Bunch of writers, whoever the fuck it.
- [114:31]
F
Is, who the hall of Fame should have been like, guys, what are we doing? There's got to be an override of that.
- [114:36]
E
Yeah, it's just being automatic. If you break several records like we have to, you know, then.
- [114:42]
D
Well, can we get to Roger Craig? Roger Craig was doing in the 80s. Like he's great. So ahead of his time. That guy like, dude, back in the day, I don't know if you guys remember this, you threw a fucking more than a two yard pass to a running back. You had a 50, 50 chance he was going to drop it. Like all they did because the running game was such a big thing. You never threw it. There was like Walter Payton.
- [115:03]
E
Yeah, that's why they gave it to the fullback.
- [115:06]
D
Yeah, they did all of that shit. And this guy came in and he was like an absolutely ferocious runner. Not afraid of contact, knees high. And he was, he could have gone in just as a running back, but he had wide receiver skills. And with that west coast offense with Joe Montana and Bill Walsh, the guy was just, he was. Dude, it's the Marlon Briscoe thing where Marlon Briscoe was playing quarterback in the 60s. Like you were seeing the modern day NFL. I just don't understand why. I mean, there's always going to be people that are overlooked, but Roger Craig should have Been in. I'm the chick from the Yankees, Roger Clemens.
- [115:45]
C
I'm gonna do it.
- [115:46]
E
Oh, my goodness gracious.
- [115:48]
D
Oh, my goodness gracious.
- [115:49]
E
I've ever seen.
- [115:50]
D
Yeah, that's one of my favorite calls. But he should have gotten in in the 90s, dude. He should have been in almost 30.
- [115:57]
C
30 years ago.
- [115:58]
A
So Roger Craig was.
- [115:59]
E
I didn't know. He was the first guy to record thousand yard rushing and receiving.
- [116:03]
D
And receiving in the same season. And he did it in the 80s.
- [116:07]
F
Yeah, he was my first memory of watching football ever. My older brother told me about the 49ers and Joe Montana, the 80s. And I wasn't able to. I'm probably what, like 9 years old, 8 years old. And I remember Roger Craig, his socks were coming down and they go. He ran out, you know, he. The guy that runs out of his socks. His socks would always. They. Yeah, they said, they said like by the end of the game, his socks, which were up normally to his knees, were down by his ankles. And he goes, this guy runs out of his socks. And they had number 44, who I believe was.
- [116:39]
D
Went up to like his shoulders. Like. You took a beating tackling that guy.
- [116:43]
C
Yeah.
- [116:43]
F
Who was, who was the fullback? Tom Rathman.
- [116:45]
C
44.
- [116:47]
D
That's the second half of the 80s, I think. That's, that's, that's.
- [116:51]
F
Yeah, yeah. All right, Andrew, what was the other prop you just put up?
- [116:57]
G
Yeah, it's not a bunch. They're more so long shots. I mean, that's like kind of the fun.
- [117:01]
E
Yeah, these are just. These are just ridiculous.
- [117:03]
F
Will the game go to overtime? Plus 750. You know what, though? 10 bucks on that, you get a few hundred. You know, a couple hundred bucks never hurt. Go ahead. What else? That's a fun one.
- [117:18]
D
I like that one.
- [117:18]
G
See, I like that one, too. Yeah.
- [117:21]
F
Inside the five yard line. That's. Yeah, that's definitely doable.
- [117:24]
D
Well, you got to put 200 to what? Make a hundred?
- [117:27]
G
No, 100 to make 200.
- [117:28]
F
100 to make 200.
- [117:29]
D
I never understood what is so plus 200. So.
- [117:33]
G
Yes. Or you double your mind, you double your bet.
- [117:37]
D
Okay, so it's like a percentage thing. I only do this every week, thankfully.
- [117:41]
G
Calculates it for you because I couldn't do it.
- [117:43]
F
What else, Andrew? Longest field goal made over, under. Oh, dude, that's a. That's a. Oh, that's why it's under, though. That's why it's.
- [117:52]
D
That.
- [117:52]
F
That's like, it's almost like favored to happen. That's a definite.
- [117:55]
G
Include that one. Because I know that we talked about the juiced up balls all the time and how far these guys kicks. I was like, oh well, we got. Think about the. Over here.
- [118:02]
D
I feel like they backed off the juiced up balls though. Everybody started saying like, dude, what the fuck? And then all of a sudden it sort of backed off. But there was like a moment in the season where people were like fucking kicking 60 yard is like it was nothing. And I think too many people talked about it. It's like Kansas City last year. Too many people being like the refs are helping them out and I feel like they called the dogs off. In the Super Bowl.
- [118:26]
F
A two point conversion is attempted.
- [118:28]
C
That's a definite.
- [118:29]
D
I like, I'm surprised. Two point conversion in the first quarter. I wouldn't.
- [118:37]
C
That's a definite.
- [118:37]
F
I like these, these are all available right on bet mgm.
- [118:41]
G
So these are kind of the best ones.
- [118:42]
F
Drake May. Drake May and Sam Darnold to each have 15 plus passes.
- [118:50]
D
Okay. Okay.
- [118:51]
F
That's weird.
- [118:53]
C
Yes, that's weird.
- [118:56]
D
Weird. Paul, I'm telling you right now, bury the Patriots at four and a half. The fact that that line is there, that seems like a joke. That's like two passes. They could do that.
- [119:07]
F
Yeah, like I'm telling you. You've been right, Bill. You've been right all year. This is your year.
- [119:15]
D
Take the fucking Pats getting four and a half if that's what fucking Vegas is looking at. Because that's a sucker bet right there. That's a fucking bet that everybody jumps on that hook. Are you fucking kidding me? This is going to know. This is going to be plenty of quarters.
- [119:28]
E
Yeah, there's plenty of quarters where quarterbacks don't throw, you know.
- [119:31]
F
Oh my God. Dude, that's.
- [119:33]
D
That's a weird. That low pole with the defense. I'm telling you. I'm telling you, Paul. Dude. Listen, Bill, this is going to be one of those. It's. It's gonna. All right, I'm gonna shut up. No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
- [119:44]
C
You shouldn't.
- [119:44]
B
You shouldn't.
- [119:45]
F
Because here's why. If Bill, you have been.
- [119:47]
C
If you.
- [119:48]
F
If Bill Burr has not made you money this year, you're not paying attention.
- [119:51]
B
True.
- [119:52]
D
Well, in the playoffs I crossed it 50.
- [119:55]
F
Dude, you. You had a year. Go ahead, Andrew.
- [119:57]
D
What else are you.
- [120:00]
B
Billy Ross?
- [120:01]
D
We don't count the playoffs. So bet MGM can save face. That's what we do on this podcast.
- [120:06]
F
You shattered every non quarterback to win super bowl mvp. I mean, Saquon Barkley did it last.
- [120:13]
E
Year, right but who thinks Sam Darnold is going to win the mvp? That just tracks it.
- [120:19]
B
But I don't know.
- [120:20]
F
Is this.
- [120:20]
E
That's.
- [120:21]
C
I.
- [120:22]
D
This kind of feels like. I just. This just feels like one of those quarterback games where, like.
- [120:30]
F
Yeah, they're going to give it to one of the.
- [120:32]
D
They always give it to the quarterback. So somebody would have to have, like, one wide receiver, would have to have like 200 yards or one running back.
- [120:40]
C
Yeah.
- [120:40]
D
Because they're not going to give it to a. Last time they gave it to a defensive player who's that. Was it like Randy White and Harvey Martin in the late 70s or some shit? Yeah, Broncos.
- [120:50]
F
We were talking about that today. You would need, like, two interceptions and one for like, a pick six to, like, win it to get that, like.
- [120:58]
D
Yeah, I feel like now they. You'd have to do like, some Dion Sanders.
- [121:02]
F
It's gonna be Sam Darnold or Drake.
- [121:04]
E
Yeah. Does Kenneth Walker get, like, 350 yards and, you know, three touchdowns?
- [121:09]
D
No.
- [121:10]
F
And you're not gonna.
- [121:10]
D
He.
- [121:10]
C
No.
- [121:11]
F
Nobody's gonna run like that on the defensive line of the Patriots. It's going to be Sam Darnold. Drake made for mvp. What else?
- [121:16]
G
I. I didn't send you guys this one, but there was one.
- [121:19]
E
By the way, this is real quick just. Just to connect to that. This is. These are the odds for Super Bowl MVP. Sam Darnold plus 115. Drake May plus 230.
- [121:30]
G
Yeah, that kind of makes sense because they basically think it's gonna be a.
- [121:33]
C
Quarterback, and then if I bet a.
- [121:35]
D
Hundred bucks, I make 230. That's what you're saying. Yes.
- [121:42]
G
Here's another one I thought you guys would be interested in because it'd be kind of fun.
- [121:45]
D
I don't like this. I.
- [121:49]
C
What now?
- [121:49]
D
Why. Why is he plus two third? It seems like this is what I feel like the bookies are saying. They're saying the Pats are going to cover, but Seattle's going to win with that. Yeah.
- [122:01]
G
I think the number you have to.
- [122:04]
D
Paul, you got to look at these. Not as, like, what you think is going to happen. You gotta, like, look at this shit. That anything makes you, like, you know, your blood rush a little bit, you know that. That they're trying to get you to go that way. Why are they doing. I'll. Paul, I'm in full paranoid, paranoid mode, dude.
- [122:21]
F
You know, that's the thing about having your team in it. I kind of, like, don't envy you guys right now because if the Giants weren't it, I'd be a wreck. A wreck.
- [122:29]
C
You're right, Paul.
- [122:30]
E
It'd be much better to not have it now.
- [122:31]
C
I'm just. No, no, listen.
- [122:34]
E
That's one way to look at it.
- [122:35]
F
I just mean nerve wise. Like my notes. Dude, my son. I'll be honest with you. My son Lucas. Dude, my wife and I like have to like, like move things in the house when the Knicks are in the playoffs. Like I don't know what he would do with the Giants. A one and done.
- [122:47]
C
Dude.
- [122:50]
D
I won't watch big games that have my team in it with my kids there. Like, I just don't. I don't want them to see me like that. Dude, what is this AI stupid camera doing? Can you just stop. Stop moving. What is it doing? It's just so that.
- [123:06]
E
That follows you, you know, it's for better.
- [123:09]
D
Sit back. It's zoom back.
- [123:10]
B
That came in. It came out.
- [123:12]
E
I'll shut the setting off on your iPad next.
- [123:14]
F
So I'm Jake, you were saying something.
- [123:16]
D
No, no. You know what? To just tell me how to do it. All right. Okay. If you give a man a fish, you feed him for one day. I was saying the man's zoom. He still doesn't know how to.
- [123:26]
G
Yeah, I was just saying the method of the first turnover being a turnover on Downs at plus 300. I thought would be fun just because we talk about all the time these teams go for it down. So that's the reason I was like mentioning that one.
- [123:39]
F
Is there a turnover prop? Is there an interception prop?
- [123:42]
D
What about. What about that guy one year that he bet that someone would run out on the field and then he ran out on the field.
- [123:48]
C
Yeah.
- [123:49]
D
And he won like eight grand and he paid like a 300. I don't know what it. Some other math worked up.
- [123:55]
F
I saw that that was streaker.
- [124:00]
D
So what he should have done was he should have fucking had had one of his friends better. He still didn't get in trouble. Like I'm surprised the casino because he's right there. It's like, is he cheating? It's like I didn't cheat. I actually did it and I got arrested. So.
- [124:16]
E
Yeah.
- [124:19]
C
Cards.
- [124:20]
D
I'm in jail.
- [124:23]
E
Andrew.
- [124:23]
F
Is there a turnover thing or.
- [124:24]
E
No, that's what I'm looking at now. The defensive section.
- [124:29]
G
Yeah, it's very specific. They'll be like, is this player going to force the turnover or whatever. But like that's like, you know too. That's too niche. That definitely is something crazy to bet on.
- [124:38]
E
Method of first turnover as Jake. That's the one I was talking. By the way, if you're on BetMGM, certain states do not allow certain bets. So, like, this is Jersey. We're looking at Jersey.
- [124:49]
F
Of course. Of course we are. Of course.
- [124:53]
E
We couldn't find it early in the week. We had to email him. We're like, hey, I said, oh, no, you gotta. You gotta set it to Jersey so you can see.
- [125:01]
D
God put New Jersey that close to New York so New Yorkers could feel better about their scumbags.
- [125:06]
C
Yeah.
- [125:07]
F
Yeah, That's a good one.
- [125:13]
C
Well, what do you guys think's gonna.
- [125:14]
G
Happen to the actual game?
- [125:15]
D
I mean, New York, New Jersey, new whatever, New Bedford, anytime there's a new in it, it's just, you know, you got to watch your wallet.
- [125:23]
F
That's that old. That's that old stand up joke. That old stand up joke, Chris.
- [125:27]
D
New Hampshire, I don't give a fuck. Anything with new in it. Just watch yourself.
- [125:31]
B
Remember Chris?
- [125:31]
F
I saw Chris Rock at Chris Rock at the Stress Factory when I featured that week and Vinnie Brand told me to come and see Chris Rock that week. And then they charged me back in the day. I'll never forget that.
- [125:43]
C
Vinnie.
- [125:43]
F
I don't care if you see this.
- [125:46]
D
But he's gonna run for office. That's fantastic.
- [125:49]
C
Yeah.
- [125:50]
D
Background for it.
- [125:55]
F
Chris Rock. Chris Rock goes New Brunswick. He goes, you know, he goes, I hate to see old Brunswick. And it's like, that's a common. That's a known thing. All right, you know what let's do? We should do our picks and we'll start with. We'll start with Andrew and Jake and then me and Bill will finish off the. We'll finish off this season, guys. So what we'll do now is we will do our picks for the show. We'll start with Andrew and Jake, and then Bill and I will close this puppy out and. And get everybody ready for the weekend.
- [126:25]
D
So you're not gonna do the Pro bowl next week?
- [126:29]
F
No, it was last week. It was a flag football game. That's how bad it's got that it's gotten a flag football. But you know what, Jake?
- [126:37]
D
That's how they're finally realizing what playing the game of football does to your brain. There's no reason to do the ex.
- [126:43]
E
Yeah, I'm all for that. Play. Play. Yeah, play pickleball. Just. It's so stupid.
- [126:49]
D
Over.
- [126:51]
G
No, that's still popular.
- [126:53]
F
It's still popular.
- [126:54]
C
It was getting so much press, like highlight.
- [126:58]
D
It's sort of the middle ground between ping pong, Marty supreme and Tennis. Yeah, tennis. Thank you.
- [127:05]
C
All right, Jake. Sorry.
- [127:06]
E
Go ahead.
- [127:07]
F
Jake the Snake, you have the honors. You have the honors of starting off your super bowl pick, buddy.
- [127:13]
G
This is. This is tough because it's really a perfect number at four and a half. I think Seattle's probably the better team, but New England's been great all year. I love Rabel. They've done a great job. So I think Bill's instincts are right. I think the NFL will want the Seahawks to win and the Patriots to cover. So I think that's what's going to happen. I'll take the four and a half of the Patriots.
- [127:37]
F
Andrew.
- [127:37]
D
The.
- [127:39]
E
I'm gonna go Patriots, obviously. I mean, it's very pretty simple. I actually feel good about this. I asked my friend at basketball last week, is also from Massachusetts. I was like, yeah, I feel pretty good.
- [127:50]
C
I go.
- [127:50]
E
And I don't just feel that way. I actually considered it, and I actually feel pretty good about this game.
- [127:55]
C
So, you know, relax.
- [127:58]
D
Confidence.
- [127:59]
E
Yeah.
- [127:59]
D
Yeah.
- [128:00]
C
I'm gonna control.
- [128:01]
E
I think we're gonna control the most. I think we're gonna control most of the game. So clock and at least two sides of the ball. So here we go.
- [128:12]
F
All right, we got two Patriots. You know what, Bill? I'll let you close this puppy because you had the. You had the good year. All right, look, this game, I've been going back and forth with this in my head. Up until this show, I've been thinking, so I think Seattle has a slightly better defense, but I don't know about the coach because the Seattle coach is two years in. Mike Vrabel is only one year in with this team, but Mike Vrabel has been great everywhere he's been. So I think the coaching edge goes to the Patriots. I think there's a little more talent on the other side with Leonard Williams on the front lines of the defensive line of the Seahawks. Dude, if it was Moneyline or a pick them, I might say Seattle. I just. Oh, my God. I'm going to change my pick. I thought that it was. I thought I was going to sit on the show today and say Seattle. I really did. But you know what? I think Seattle can win the game and might win the game. I just think it would be by three if they did. So I gotta. I'm going to. I'm going to take the New England Patriots getting four and a half points. I have to take the points. So there you go. I'm taking the underdog for the Super Bowl.
- [129:25]
D
All right. I like that you said if it Was three. I think three is a push. I feel like Seattle is the better team athletically at all the positions and I think we have the advantage at the coaching level and I think we're going to do the classic Belichick thing. Whatever their strength is on offense, we're going to take it away. Everybody does that now. Broncos did that to us last, you know, in the AFC Championship game. I think this is going to like how the Patriots win is we have to out coach them. That's what's going. We have the coaches to do that. And I am a Patriots fan, so do not bet by what I say here because this is all passion. I love the Patriots. I think not only are they. I think even if we lose the game, we cover. But I think, you know, in my heart of hearts, we're going to out coach them and we're going to win. Like, that's what I want to have happen. So I can't even. I almost have to like remove myself from this argument. Dude, it's my team in the Super Bowl. But all I'll say is I'm going to take the Patriots four and a half. But Seattle's a fucking great team. And I loved watching Sam Darnold getting all this shit and all of this stuff and then finally getting with the team that knows what they're doing because everybody's talking about, oh, the Patriots, oh my God, they're back this soon. Hey, so Seattle, Seattle wasn't. They didn't go away for that long either. So I think these are both great organizations and like I said, I think that they have, they have better players at some key positions. We can hang with them and what's going to level us out is variable and Josh and all those guys are going to out coach him and then we're definitely going to cover. But as far as if we win, dude, whether we win or not, it's a flippable coin. But I can tell you though, if it wasn't my team, I would still take the four and a half. I love four and a half.
- [131:19]
C
I.
- [131:19]
D
If it was three, I would just be like, that's what they should have put it at. They should have put it at 3 and Vegas would have cleaned up because it would have been a push. I think it's going to come right down to the end. Don't think it goes into overtime, though. Yeah.
- [131:31]
F
And if it went up, if it went up to six, I put both. Lexus is on it. I would put. I'd put the whole house on it. If it went up to six, but.
- [131:37]
D
And having said that, dude, I don't know what is with Seattle fans. Like, they have. The Mariners fans are cool. Kraken fans are cool. Back in the day, went to the Sonics. They're cool. I don't know what this. This, like, Comic Con shit is that they do when they go to games. This, this, like that. And I shouldn't just say them, but, like, the level of dressing up there was back in the day. There was always one idiot who did it. It was fun because it was just like, that guy's out of his fucking mind now. It's like entire sections, I think. I feel like it started with the Dog Pound. Grown men eating dog biscuits.
- [132:12]
F
Well, don't forget, though, the Raiders dress up like Darth Vader and shit.
- [132:15]
D
Oh, no. They completely lost their way when I was you. When I watched them in the 70s, dude, they panned to the crowd. It looked like the fucking Hells Angels were in there. Like, they. They were really intimidating. Then they were just like, cigarettes, smoking fucking loot. And I remember just thinking, like, dude, Oakland's got to be one of the toughest places in the world. Like, even, like, Ken Stabler, until you heard him talk, because he had a high pitched voice and kind of had the twang. But, like, when you just saw him with that fucking white beard and stuff, it's like he looked like their leader. Like, he should have come in with the eight bombs. Chopper. And then somewhere, now that they're, like, dressed in, like, Darth Vader and Boba Fett and Chewbacca and they have, like, names for their characters.
- [132:57]
G
It's sad.
- [132:58]
D
I also feel it's fucking sad. It is like, jesus Christ, take that shit off and go talk to a woman. Turn your life around. Yeah, dude.
- [133:07]
F
Imagine what it would feel like to put the Chewbacca head on and then just go like, into your seat.
- [133:13]
G
Yeah.
- [133:16]
F
Yeah.
- [133:16]
D
And then I don't care if you're winning.
- [133:20]
F
I also feel. I also feel there's a. There's a different aspect to this. Yeah, I feel like this game. I do feel like there's a little more pressure with Seattle. I feel like the Patriots could play a little more free. And I feel that this whole week I was like, seattle, Seattle. Seattle's gonna win. Seattle's gonna win. And then something in me was like, nah, dude, I don't know. So I. I think it's the points, but it should be a great game. We hope that you guys enjoy the game.
- [133:48]
D
As a matter of fact, it was Cool fireman helmet. That. That's as far as you need to go.
- [133:54]
F
Yeah.
- [133:55]
D
Start borrowing your wife's makeup, Paul. You've got to have that moment. Like, what am I doing?
- [134:00]
C
No, it's.
- [134:01]
F
It's nuts. It's nuts.
- [134:07]
D
You're not in Queen. Like, what are you doing exactly?
- [134:11]
F
Taking your shirt off?
- [134:14]
D
Just watching the show over and over.
- [134:23]
F
Well, guys, the whole show picked New England with the points. There you go. This is the last show of the year.
- [134:30]
D
No, it isn't. We'll come back in August. It's the last show of the season. Paul, you already have me sad like, the game's over. Don't do this.
- [134:39]
F
Hey, Bill. Bill, It's a dog and pony show. A horse and pony show. What did I say?
- [134:45]
B
No.
- [134:45]
D
Yeah, you go, it's a horse and pony show.
- [134:50]
F
And I just go. I just. Bill just goes, paul, it's dog at pony show.
- [134:54]
D
No, I said no. I go, it's pony and dog. Then I found out it was dog and pony. Like, I don't know.
- [134:59]
F
And what does that even mean, by the way?
- [135:02]
D
It used to be back when the circus came to town. That was part of the. There's actually. I looked it up to find that out, and there's an actual flyer that had dog and pony show. Where. I mean, that was like, dude, this was, like, entertaining. You're churning your own butter. Your closest neighbor was four miles away. You basically married the first woman you saw.
- [135:24]
F
Yeah. Oh, dear.
- [135:25]
D
Whether she wanted to or not. As far as some of the history books talk about, do my grandparents actually come into town and there was a fat lady singer.
- [135:35]
B
They had.
- [135:36]
D
They had dogs and ponies and they do tricks. Oh, my God. Dude, you're sitting in the middle of nowhere whittling a stick.
- [135:45]
F
I googled it, too. No, I googled it too. I googled horse and pony. And that's just when you go somewhere and there's horses and ponies to, like, rhyme.
- [135:55]
E
Been reading this Mark Twain biography that came out recently. Turn off. He does these really in depth biographies. They're really good. And yet just listening, reading Twain, going to these places, and sending these letters back to America. These people had never heard or seen any of this shit. And it's like, the world was so big then and. Yeah, like. Like you said. Like just what people experience. Like, oh, my God. A dog and pony shows coming to town. Like, and you hear about it. It's like, yeah, it sounds. It sounds like a blast.
- [136:23]
D
Stuff. Stuff Mark Twain wrote.
- [136:25]
E
Funny.
- [136:26]
D
Have you ever read. Paul, you ever read Mark Twain. Dude. It sounds like he's talking about social media now. He was talking about people back then. Yeah.
- [136:34]
F
Yeah, dude.
- [136:34]
D
Yeah, dude. And it's, like, hilarious. I remember I. I still can't find. They had a collection of his short stories. I read it in when I was in LA in the late.
- [136:44]
E
I'm reading this one while I'm reading the other book, because as I go through time, I want to, like, actually read the stuff that he's reading. So this is the one I'm reading now. This is tales, speeches, essays, and sketches. But the. The actual one that he wrote while abroad is called the Innocents Abroad or the New Pilgrim's Progress. But, yeah, that I'm gonna start reading next week.
- [137:01]
D
But I can't remember the name of the one that I was reading. Paul. It was a collection of his short stories, and he was talking about, wherever he was, how fucking stupid the people were. I was reading a book, laughing out loud, and at that point, the book was, like, 90 years old. Wow.
- [137:16]
C
Yeah.
- [137:16]
D
No, dude, that guy is, like, one of.
- [137:18]
F
What year did he die?
- [137:20]
D
Like, early last century, I think. 20s.
- [137:24]
F
Lloyd, chill out.
- [137:26]
E
I think he died.
- [137:27]
D
Be funny if there's actually an Axe murderer.
- [137:29]
E
1910. All right.
- [137:31]
D
You know, I tried.
- [137:32]
F
Did you hear Georgie? Did you hear George Wallace's. Dude, George Wallace did that. Was on a radio show. And he just. He made me burst out laughing. He goes, how come the dogs always got to get the last bark out? And I'd be like. It's like, last licks. All right, guys, you guys know the drill. Download the app, use our code burr B U R R. Thank you so much. Put as little as $10, and you get 1500 in bonus bets. And the first touchdown. If your player gets the first touchdown, you win. If they don't but get the second, you get your cash back. As we always say, bet responsibly. Have fun with it. Enjoy, and here's what I'll say. Do not invite anybody to your super bowl party that is not into the game.
- [138:18]
C
That's the day.
- [138:19]
D
Also, thank you to all you guys for watching again this year. We had a great time. I love doing this podcast, Jake the Snake. Dude, we got to get a hang in a couple of times before August.
- [138:29]
G
Absolutely. We'll love it.
- [138:31]
D
I'm living vicariously through you. I'm a married man. Are you cutting weight? What do you got on you? Look at the traffic.
- [138:36]
G
Well, I have the merch on.
- [138:38]
C
Oh, you do?
- [138:39]
D
All right.
- [138:40]
G
On the last day.
- [138:41]
F
Dude, those merch held up my wife and Son, they all have that tie dye shirt from the. The Halloween one and they hold up well. By the way, I'm gonna be in LA from the 15th to the 19th. We should do a little AB dinner, little dantanas or something like that. Hey, listen, I'm me.
- [138:58]
D
You got to go chicken P. Hey, Bill.
- [139:00]
E
Store too. I mean these are in the store too.
- [139:03]
C
Just gotta.
- [139:05]
F
Oh, we got new merch. Is that the football?
- [139:07]
E
Yeah, they just. Just got a little late last season here we put them together, but yeah. Paul, bring one over. Jake's. I'll bring one over. That's the.
- [139:15]
F
Oh, that's awesome, dude. That's awesome.
- [139:18]
D
Oh, that's cool.
- [139:19]
F
That's really cool.
- [139:20]
D
Kid sizes. My kids would love that.
- [139:22]
F
Yeah, dude, you gotta. I need a package.
- [139:23]
G
Send some smalls.
- [139:24]
F
Yeah, okay. All right, guys, enjoy the super bowl and you'll be hearing from us real soon. Take care.
- [139:38]
A
Foreign.
- [139:43]
C
Forget whatever plans you have this weekend because you're staying at home and playing on Spin Quest.
- [139:48]
F
And there's never been a better time to sign up than right now. New users get $30 coin packs for just $10.
- [139:55]
C
All the table games you love with hundreds of slot games and real cash Prizes. That's at spinquest.com s p I n.
- [140:03]
B
Q u e.
- [140:05]
F
Spinquest is a free to play social casino void where prohibited. Visit spinquest.com for more details.