Monday Morning Podcast - "The Hockey Show, Playoffs, Charities" (Jan 12, 2026)

Host: Bill Burr
Podcast: Monday Morning Podcast
Date: January 12, 2026

Episode Overview

In this episode, Bill Burr delivers his signature mix of rants, humor, and sports commentary as he gears up for a Patriots playoff game. He covers everything from the unpredictability of NFL playoffs, family moments at the park, and relationship philosophies, to the recent obsession with a "gay hockey" drama series. The episode also explores the corruption in charities, the absurdity of high-rise developments, and nostalgia for classic football. As always, Bill’s riffing veers between pointed, hilarious, and, at times, unexpectedly heartfelt.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

Patriots Playoff Pre-Game Anxiety

• Bill opens with anticipation for the Patriots playoff game, humorously mocking the glut of post-game analysis.
• Quote:

  "I'm on pins and motherfucking needles. Pins and needles. I am waiting for this Patriots game to start." (00:01)

• Pokes fun at sports analysts and the importance of "the trenches" in football.

  "If a quarterback doesn't have time to throw the ball, then what are we passing for?" (00:54)

The New York Jets’ Bizarre NFL Record

• Highlights the Jets setting an NFL record for zero interceptions in a season:

  "The goddamn motherfucking New York Jets had zero interceptions this year. ... That should show you right there, if you put your mind to something, you can make it happen." (01:48)

• Jokes about affirmations and team morale going forward.

NFL Playoff Talk & Uniform Riffs

• Bill and co-host/guest discuss various playoff matchups, with casual betting tallies and observations on teams’ trajectories:

  "I picked both games yesterday, and I picked the first game, I had the Bills, and on this one, I got the Eagles. This is a weird game. I like the 49." (04:24)

• Lighthearted uniform analysis:

  "The San Francisco 49ers is one of the few places a man can put on a pair of golden pants and not get shit for it." (05:18)

History and Cultural Jabs

• Wonders why nobody’s tried to “cancel” the 49ers brand, given American history.

  "What exactly happened in 1849 with the gold Rush? You probably don't want to read up on it." (05:51)

• Pokes at religion vs. atheism and societal extremes:

  "There's gotta be a happy medium between being a Mormon and an atheist, because I don't think either way is right." (06:18)

Parenting and Parks – Finding Joy in Small Moments

• Shares stories about playing catch with his children and the “life skill” of tossing accurately:

  "You got to know how to throw something and hit your target. That's a big thing in life." (08:00)

• Observes the unexpected challenges of simple daily parenting in LA (traffic, other drivers, etc.).

LA Traffic and Motorcyclist Rants

• Classic Bill Burr road rage, this time controlled by having kids in the car:

  "He comes screaming up right to pass on the right. Then he drives by, looks at me, does the whole big exaggerated shaking his head... you're passing on the right. You're not supposed to do that." (09:32)

• Comments on trying to stay calm, using yoga and meditation.

The “Gay Hockey Show” & TV Viewing at Home

• Bill hilariously describes his wife’s obsession with a new show popularized as the "Gay Hockey Show", highlighting how little actual hockey it contains.

  "Who knew straight women loved watching guys bang? ... it’s surprisingly not about hockey at all. ... it's more like Red Shoe Diaries, except they're wearing skates." (14:06, 15:20)

• Compares the genre to true crime shows (which he can’t stomach), and notes his wife’s “eclectic” TV binging habits.

  "I would much rather watch a gay hockey show than true crime." (17:18)

More TV, Celebrity Commercials, and Relatability

• Jokes about how celebrities increasingly do car and product commercials; riffs on Little John’s "Turn Down for What" being used in a Hyundai ad.

  "He was saying, turn down for what? In a Hyundai commercial." (34:53)

• Appreciates Tom Brady’s comedic timing in ads:

  "Tom Brady out of nowhere has all these comedy chops. You see that Pizza Hut commercial? He's fantastic." (29:34)

• Suggests sports commentators could star in premature ejaculation ads:

  "Chris Collinsworth... should advertise long lasting boners and no Premier Jacks by saying plenty of time left." (37:17)

Electric Cars, Consumer Culture, and Nostalgia

• Expresses skepticism and disappointment about modern electric cars, both in looks and emotional connection, and the "disposability" of new gas vehicles.

  "I was so about electric cars, but now I'm just like, can they make a cool one?" (31:58)

Charity Corruption & Disillusionment

• Dives into recent news regarding mishandled fire relief funds in California:

  "No business like charity. ... there's people out there that are just sitting around waiting for a tragedy and they just start a fund because regular people have empathy..." (42:49)

• Frustration that “no one who lost their home received any money from the funds raised.”

  "...when I was a kid, God damn it, you called up the Better Business Bureau and shit happened. There was actually journalism." (43:17)

• Shares personal attempts to help local schools and how bureaucracy stymies direct aid.

Urban Development, High-Rises, and Economic Cynicism

• Critiques rapid high-rise development and foreign investment, likening empty luxury apartments in LA to those in NYC.

  "Why are they so hell bent on these high rises? It just has to be like a way to like wash money or something because they keep making these places. No one can afford to live in them." (48:09)

Sports Recaps & Patriots Post-Game Reactions (Post-Game Segment)

• Celebrates a Patriots victory, defending the game’s “ugly” style and valuing what it means for the team’s future.

  "Oh, my God, they won. Hey, the fucking Pat's are back. As much as so many people don't like it, they are back." (50:28)

• Breaks down key moments and play calls, expressing appreciation for the turnaround with rookie QB Drake May.
• Sports trivia on Giants’ stadium history and musings on old NFL venues:

  "In 1973 and 74, [the Giants] played NFL games at the Yale Bowl... that's the original bowl stadium." (56:21)

Looking Forward and Life Philosophy

• Bills shares hopes for 2026, reaffirms commitment to yoga, meditation, and not losing his temper in front of his kids.

  "I got a little wound up today... but I did yoga and I did, I meditated and. But I didn't snap. ... It's just this stupid, and it actually becomes fun to say." (41:00)

• Announces upcoming tour plans, considering smaller venues and spending more time in favorite cities:

  "Rather than doing one big show, let's do three smaller ones. Chill here for a minute. In some of my favorite cities." (61:06)

Notable Quotes & Moments with Timestamps

• On the state of modern NFL analysis:

  "I need at least seven men and two women in suits and blouses and some sort of winter wear sitting on the sidelines, letting me know what they think the keys to the game are." – Bill Burr (00:27)

• On the Jets’ zero interception season:

  "The 2025 New York Jets, zero interceptions in 17 regulation games. ... If you put your mind to something, you can make it happen." (01:48)

• Observing gender and television:

  "Who knew straight women loved watching guys bang? ... It's surprisingly not about hockey at all." – Bill Burr (14:06, 15:20)

• On charity fraud:

  "No business like charity. ... There's people out there that are just sitting around waiting for a tragedy and they just start a fund because regular people have empathy..." (42:49)

• On family and personal growth:

  "I got really frustrated today, though. ... So then I did a little yoga. I meditated. I took an Epsom salt bath. Drank myself blind. No Epsom salt bath. I stopped there." (12:03)

• On Chris Collinsworth and ED commercials:

  "They haven't hired Chris Collinsworth to advertise long lasting boners and no Premier Jacks by saying plenty of time left. That's amazing." (37:17)

• On Patriots victory:

  "Hey, the fucking pat's are back. ... I enjoyed the game. A lot of people thought it was sloppy, but... I thought the Chargers had a great game plan." (50:28)

Key Timestamps for Segments

• Patriots Playoffs Pre-Game & Jets Rant: 00:01–03:36
• Playoff Picks & Family Life: 03:36–08:41
• Traffic/Parenting Riffs: 08:41–12:03
• Hockey Show / TV Talk: 14:06–20:03
• Charity & Urban Development Critique: 42:04–49:27
• Patriots Post-Game Review: 50:28–54:01
• NFL History & Stadiums/End Segment: 56:21–59:23
• Tour Announcements & Looking Forward: 60:20–62:52

Final Notes

This episode is a classic slice of Bill Burr: blustery, self-deprecating, brutally honest, and always returning to everyday philosophy amidst the chaos of sports and family life. Burr skillfully turns ordinary frustrations and news stories into raw comedy, providing a cathartic vent mixed with genuine insight for listeners.

For upcoming tour updates, tune in to future episodes or check Bill’s official site.