Monday Morning Podcast: "Water In The Basement, Diving, Doctors" (Thursday Afternoon Monday Morning Podcast 10-2-25)

Date: October 2, 2025
Host: Bill Burr – All Things Comedy
Guests: Joe Bartnik, Paul Verze, Andrew Semless, Jake "the Snake"

Episode Overview

In this episode, Bill Burr, joined by longtime friends Joe Bartnik and Paul Verze, delivers his signature blend of storytelling, rants, and off-the-cuff humor. The trio delves into everyday miseries—like flooded basements and broken trucks—while also riffing on sports, health, parenting, relationships, and getting older. The tone is conversational, irreverent, and frequently self-deprecating. Highlights include personal disasters, thoughts on decluttering, sports fandom embarrassment, aging, health revelations, and good-natured takes on masculinity and relationship expectations.

Major Discussion Points & Insights

1. Water in the Basement: Domestic Disasters & Acceptance

[00:21–04:05]

• Bill and Joe swap horror stories about a flooded basement. Bill details waking up early, discovering the disaster, and standing ankle-deep in water in his pajamas.

  "All homeowners are cringing right now." – Joe Bartnik [00:27] "I'm in my pajamas, in slippers, standing in water, and I'm like, where the fuck is the main water shut off?" – Joe Bartnik [02:04]

• They reflect on the futility of fighting things you can’t control:

  "I flip out over little things; bigger things like this, I just go like, 'All right, you know, I guess...'" – Joe Bartnik [02:41] "It's the balance of the universe, right? You get one thing fixed, something else has to break." – Bill Burr [04:05]

2. Decluttering, Relationships, and the Yin-Yang of Marriage

[04:13–05:47]

• Bill describes his frustration with clutter, lamenting the tension between his desire for open space and his wife’s inclination to "nest":

  "I've been saying we gotta like... I want to have the option to be able to stretch because I'm old in any... I need flow, feng shui, whatever they call it." – Joe Bartnik [05:15]

3. Escapism: Flying, Biking, and Not Smoking Cigars

[06:00–08:30]

• Bill finds peace in activities that demand focus, like flying helicopters and riding his Harley.

  "One of the few times my brain shuts off is when I'm doing those two activities or if I'm smoking a cigar... which I'm really happy about not doing anymore." – Bill Burr [07:19]

4. Sports Fandom and Emotional Self-Regulation

[08:30–11:54]

• Bill discusses being a Red Sox and Patriots fan but choosing not to watch games live to avoid setting a bad example for his kids.

  "I just don't want them to see me like that... I'll just wait till my kids grow up and get out of the house again before I will watch." – Bill Burr [09:17] "I am old enough now to realize how stupid that is to put your whole family through it." – Bill Burr [10:23]

5. Domestic Chaos Multipliers: Broken Trucks, Failing Stuff

[11:48–12:21]

• Everything seems to break down at once—truck, sideview mirror, etc.—but Bill finds a way to remain calm.

  "My life is awesome right now, so these things have to kind of... you know, it's the balance." – Joe Bartnik [12:08]

6. Drumming, Aging Joints, and Recovering Technique

[12:21–14:24]

• Bill shares nerdy excitement about improving his drumming technique—specifically his ability to loosen his forearm via instruction from Dave Elitch.
• Weekly soccer games against neighborhood kids reveal his waning athleticism and cautious approach post-shoulder/back injury:

  "I don't think my body lets me dive anymore... There's something else that overrides it... 'You are not diving on the fucking ground.'" – Bill Burr [14:24]

7. Health, Doctors, and Not Being Invincible

[14:28–17:36]

• Bill gets a surprisingly positive health report, especially his liver, after quitting drinking eight years ago.

  "If you stop soon enough, [the liver] can totally heal itself." – Joe Bartnik [15:03] "I'm glad that I finally went to the doctor. God knows I've lost so many friends out of nowhere because of health." – Bill Burr [16:20]

8. Observing Fast Food and American Influence Abroad

[19:07–19:34]

• Bill notes the prevalence of U.S. fast food chains worldwide and alludes to conspiracy:

  "Literally every fast food American chain that's over there just serving that... I haven't heard a word about it, which is pretty amazing to me at this point." [19:10]

9. Drumming & Led Zeppelin (Deep Dive)

[23:42–26:44]

• Bill obsesses over John Bonham’s playing, breaking down specific Led Zeppelin grooves for drum nerds.

  "If you just like, listen to that song as a drummer... if you can just block everything out and just listen to the hi hat, it's incredible." – Bill Burr [24:42]

10. The Internet: Addiction and Attempts at Moderation

[28:11–29:05]

• Bill likens his struggle with internet usage to quitting drinking, striving to become a "casual user" and describing YouTube as a rabbit hole of wasted time.

  "I'm trying to view the Internet like I looked at my drinking towards the end, where I didn't want to be doing it anymore but I'm doing it every day." – Bill Burr [28:52]

11. Nostalgia: School, Sneakers, and Seasonal Memories

[29:31–36:00]

• Bill paints a vivid, humorous picture of school days, new sneakers, and self-deprecating tales about not applying himself academically.

  "Your mother bought [your sneakers] a half size or a full size too big, depending if, you know, she was trying to gauge when your balls were going to drop..." – Bill Burr [30:42]

12. College, Sports, and American Campus Life

[31:27–34:29]

• Rant on the importance of athletics to university identity:

  "There would be no campus without sports, okay?... That money goes right back into the school, doesn't it? God knows it's not paying the players." – Bill Burr [33:12]

13. Heavy Metal Parking Lot, Tattoos, and Regrets

[38:49–57:13]

• Reflections on the heavy metal concert doc, youthful misfit experiences, and the pitfalls of getting tattoos without forethought.

  "Thank God I never got a tattoo. Thank fucking Christ." – Bill Burr [55:54]

14. Health and Parenting: Sick Kids and Single Dad Moments

[75:51–77:26]

• Bill’s approach to his young daughter having a cold—wet washcloths, humor, and being a proud, sometimes clueless, but well-meaning dad.

  "I got to be the single dad. And I gotta tell you, man, I fucking loved it." – Bill Burr [76:48]

15. Social Media and Body Image

[79:19–82:16]

• Commentary on a new French law about Photoshopped images, the pressure of social media comments, and why it’s best to just "act your age."

  "Just act your goddamn age. That’s the best way to do it... Let young people be young. Let them have their... whatever the fuck it is they’re doing." – Bill Burr [82:07]

16. Relationship Advice: ‘Fatphobia’, Personal Preference, and Workplace Flirtations

[91:30–99:51]

• Listener writes in about being called "fatphobic" at work for not dating overweight co-workers after he lost weight and got fit. Bill launches a comic rant about body standards, the right to preferences, and double standards:

  "You have the absolute 100% right to date whoever the fuck you want to date... Don't let it—this is your fucking life, dude." – Bill Burr [94:54] "You had to get on a bike, you had to climb a bunch of rocks... Now you’re in game shape, right? You’re fucking in Kobe Bryant shape. And they’re showing up like Shaq..." – Bill Burr [95:04]

• Advice: Don’t feel pressured to acquiesce to what’s not authentic.

Memorable Quotes

• On acceptance:
  "I flip out over little things; bigger things like this, I just go like, 'All right, you know, I guess...'" – Joe Bartnik [02:41]
• On sports & embarrassment:
  "I just don't want them to see me like that… I lose my—And as I'm old enough now to realize how stupid that is to put your whole family through it. So I don't do that." – Bill Burr [10:23]
• On relationship clutter:
  "I could do yoga in any room in my house. Not that I do yoga, but I want to have the option." – Joe Bartnik [05:15]
• On aging:
  "You gotta go Sting. That's what it is. I'm telling you. You want to know how to age as a human being—look at Sting." – Bill Burr [15:47]
• On internet addiction:
  "I'm trying to view the Internet, like, the way I looked at my drinking towards the end…" – Bill Burr [28:52]

Notable Segments with Timestamps

• Flooded Basement Story & Reaction: [00:21–04:05]
• Decluttering, Marriage, and Forced Minimalism: [04:13–05:47]
• Sports Fandom, Self-Awareness, and Parenting: [08:30–11:54]
• Drumming & Musicianship Insights: [12:21–14:24, 23:42–26:44]
• Health, Sobriety, Doctors: [14:28–17:36]
• Social Media & Body Image Law: [79:19–82:16]
• Listener Letter: Dating, Fatphobia, and Self-Respect: [91:30–99:51]

Tone & Language

• Caustic, sharp, vulnerable, self-aware, and often cathartic.
• Frequent profanity in humorous, non-malevolent contexts; plenty of irreverence and comic exaggeration.
• Heavy use of personal anecdotes and direct addresses to listeners.

Conclusion

This episode is a quintessential Bill Burr mix: personal disaster meets grumpy wisdom, and mundane domestic life is elevated through manic, comedic storytelling. Whether breaking down Led Zeppelin’s drumming or breaking down at the sight of water in his basement, Bill keeps it real, relatable, and riotously funny. The discussion stretches from home repairs and health scares to why he roots for sports teams in secret, pokes at diet and relationship expectations, and invites listeners to own their choices without apology. Even when commiserating about flooded basements, the message (delivered the Burr way) is simple: shit happens, keep your sense of humor, and keep moving forward.