"Can I Be a Great Parent AND a Great Entrepreneur? Help!"

Summary

Podcast Summary: Money Rehab with Nicole Lapin Episode: "Can I Be a Great Parent AND a Great Entrepreneur? Help!" Release Date: December 23, 2024

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Introduction

In this compelling episode of "Money Rehab," hosted by Nicole Lapin of Money News Network, the discussion centers around the intricate balance between parenting and entrepreneurship. Titled "Can I Be a Great Parent AND a Great Entrepreneur? Help!", the episode delves deep into the challenges, emotional struggles, and rewarding aspects of managing both roles simultaneously. Co-hosted by Jason Pfeiffer, editor-in-chief of Entrepreneur Magazine, and featuring insights from Colin Pfeiffer, the episode offers a candid and heartfelt exploration of maintaining a thriving career while nurturing a family.

Hosts and Guests

• Nicole Lapin: Financial expert and host of Money Rehab.
• Jason Pfeiffer: Editor-in-chief of Entrepreneur Magazine and co-host of the career advice podcast "Help Wanted."
• Colin Pfeiffer: Contributor to the conversation, providing personal anecdotes and perspectives.

Main Discussion: Balancing Parenthood and Entrepreneurship

1. The Dual Challenge of Parenting and Entrepreneurship

The episode begins with Nicole sharing her personal journey into financial awareness, setting the stage for a broader conversation about making significant life choices. As the discussion unfolds, Jason and Colin discuss the often unspoken tensions that arise when striving to excel both at home and in one's career.

• Nicole Lapin [02:48]: "We've all had that moment, right? Whether it's saving for something big or finally paying off debt, we all get to a point where we need to make some real money moves."

2. Emotional Struggles and Regret

A significant portion of the conversation addresses the emotional toll that parenting can take on an entrepreneur. Colin opens up about the internal conflicts and moments of frustration that many parents experience but seldom discuss openly.

• Colin Pfeiffer [05:14]: "I love my kids, they're great kids. But getting them cereal in the morning sucks. I'd never want to wipe an ass ever."

Jason echoes these sentiments, highlighting the constant juggling act between professional ambitions and parental responsibilities.

• Jason Pfeiffer [15:42]: "But if I went down and I was like, I'm not going to get any work done right now, so I'm not even going to try. And that is all true."

3. Positive Outcomes and Skill Development

Despite the challenges, both Nicole and Jason acknowledge the positive transformations that parenting can bring. They discuss how being a parent has enhanced their time management, patience, and interpersonal skills—qualities that are invaluable in the entrepreneurial world.

• Jason Pfeiffer [21:12]: "Having kids allows you to relate to other people who have kids, which is actually a really useful business skill."

Nicole adds that parenting forces a level of rigor and discipline in managing time, leading to increased efficiency and focus in their professional lives.

• Nicole Lapin [20:05]: "I am now regimented. And when my kids get out the door in the morning, I know exactly what I need to get done in the hours before they show up back home."

4. Advice for Fellow Parents and Entrepreneurs

Towards the latter part of the episode, the hosts offer practical advice for listeners who are navigating similar paths. Communication emerges as a recurring theme, emphasizing the importance of open dialogue with partners and support systems.

• Jason Pfeiffer [27:34]: "Make sure you have great communication with your partner... Just tell you can make it work. It just requires a lot of thinking and communication and gritting your way through things."

Colin reinforces this by discussing the importance of setting realistic expectations and reframing perspectives to alleviate guilt associated with balancing family and work.

• Colin Pfeiffer [15:42]: "Don't shame yourself for something you're not putting energy toward. Saying that you're focusing on making the kids cereal changes it."

5. Acceptance and Embracing Change

A poignant moment in the conversation revolves around accepting the imperfection of life choices and embracing the constant change that comes with both parenting and entrepreneurship.

• Jason Pfeiffer [23:37]: "The things that come out of their mouth are usually great. Even though I don't want to deal with the things that come out of their butt."

• Nicole Lapin [26:56]: "There are plenty of minutes to enjoy. I just took Fen, my nine-year-old, to a Pokemon convention in Orlando. It was great."

The hosts emphasize that while certain aspects of parenting may not be enjoyable, focusing on the fleeting and positive moments can provide a sense of fulfillment and purpose.

Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• Nicole Lapin [02:48]: "We've all had that moment... where we need to make some real money moves."

• Colin Pfeiffer [05:14]: "I'd never want to wipe an ass ever."

• Jason Pfeiffer [15:42]: "If I went down and I was like, I'm not going to get any work done right now, so I'm not even going to try."

• Jason Pfeiffer [21:12]: "Having kids allows you to relate to other people who have kids, which is actually a really useful business skill."

• Jason Pfeiffer [27:34]: "Make sure you have great communication with your partner... It just requires a lot of thinking and communication and gritting your way through things."

• Colin Pfeiffer [15:42]: "Don't shame yourself for something you're not putting energy toward."

Conclusions and Takeaways

The episode "Can I Be a Great Parent AND a Great Entrepreneur? Help!" offers a raw and honest portrayal of the complexities involved in balancing family life with entrepreneurial aspirations. Through personal anecdotes and thoughtful dialogue, Nicole Lapin, Jason Pfeiffer, and Colin Pfeiffer shed light on the emotional challenges, the development of essential life skills, and the importance of communication and realistic expectations.

Key Takeaways:

1. Open Communication: Maintaining transparent and honest dialogue with partners and support systems is crucial for managing the dual demands of parenting and entrepreneurship.

2. Reframing Perspectives: Shifting the narrative from self-criticism to acceptance can alleviate feelings of guilt and enhance overall well-being.

3. Skill Development: Parenting fosters valuable skills such as time management, patience, and interpersonal communication, which are transferable to entrepreneurial endeavors.

4. Embracing Imperfection: Acknowledging that life choices are inherently imperfect allows for a more compassionate and sustainable approach to balancing personal and professional responsibilities.

5. Celebrating Positive Moments: Focusing on the fleeting joyful experiences amidst the challenges can provide a sense of fulfillment and motivation.

This episode serves as a supportive resource for parents who are navigating the demanding yet rewarding journey of entrepreneurship, encouraging them to embrace their multifaceted roles with honesty and resilience.

Transcript

[Nicole Lapin]

You know, there was this one time before I did my own money rehab when I checked my credit score and I realized I had no idea what it actually meant for my financial future. That's when it hit me. It was time to get serious about my money. We've all had that moment, right? Whether it's saving for something big or finally paying off debt, we all get to a point where we need to make some real money moves. That's where Chime comes in. Chime offers a checking account designed to help you take control of your finances with no monthly fees, no maintenance fees and fee free overdraft up to $200 with sponsors. Imagine overdrafting and not having to worry about fees piling up. Chime's got you covered. Plus, Chime isn't just a financial tool, it's a community. You can get boosts from friends to temporarily increase your Spot Me limit, and when you help someone out with their own boost, they can return the favor. Friends helping friends make progress. It's that simple. So why not make your fall finances a little greener? Open your Chime account in just two [e-mail] MNN that's chime.com as in money News Network. Chime feels like progress. Banking services and debit card provided by the Bancorp NA or Stride Bank NA members FDIC Spot Me eligibility requirements and overdraft limits apply. Boosts are available to eligible Chime members enrolled in SpotMe and are subject to monthly limits. Terms and conditions apply. Go to chime.com disclosures for details. I love hosting on Airbnb. It's a great way to bring in some extra cash, but I totally get it that it might sound overwhelming to start or even too complicated. If, say, you want to put your summer home in Maine on Airbnb but you live full time in San Francisco and you can't go to Maine every time you need to change sheets for your guests or something like that. If thoughts like these have been holding you back, I have great news for you. Airbnb has launched a co host network which is a network of high quality local co hosts with Airbnb experience that can take care of your home and your guests. Co hosts can do what you don't have time for, like managing your reservations, messaging your guests, giving support at the property, or even create your listing for you. I always want to line up a reservation for my house when I'm traveling for work, but sometimes I just don't get around to it because getting ready to travel always feels like a scramble So I don't end up making time to make my house look guest friendly. I guess that's the best way to put it. But I'm matching with a co host so I can still make that extra cash while also making it easy on myself. Find a co [e-mail] host. I'm Nicole Lapin, the only financial expert. You don't need a dictionary to understand it's time for some money Rehab.

[Jason Pfeiffer]

We have.

[Nicole Lapin]

Hey, guys, how you doing? You missing me? Of course you are. Well, during this guest host palooza, while I'm out on mat leave, I wanted one special guest host to make an appearance myself.

[Jason Pfeiffer]

Kidding.

[Nicole Lapin]

I mean, kind of. As you know, I co host a career advice podcast with the entrepreneur editor in chief, Jason Pfeiffer called Help Wanted. And even though Help Wanted is more work focused, work and money are pretty inseparable. You need to work to make money, unless you're doing something weird. So money comes up a lot on the show, whether it's asking for more of it, feeling like you're paying too much of it, want to create a new revenue stream, we talk about it all. So this week I wanted to share some episodes of Help Wanted that I think will be pretty valuable for many Rehabbers. So to kick that off, you're going to hear the episode where I actually told Jason I was pregnant. Yes, I told him on air while we were taping an episode, because of course I did. But that conversation was about more than just me. We also talked about the trade offs that you need to make when you're trying to excel at home and at work. And after it aired, Jason got a ton of emails about this episode from parents who had never felt more seen. So, as you'll hear, Jason really nails this one. I mean, I've got a good co host.

[Colin Pfeiffer]

Guys, here's our conversation.

[Jason Pfeiffer]

This is Help Wanted, the show that makes your work work for you. I'm Jason Pfeiffer, editor in chief of.

[Nicole Lapin]

Entrepreneur magazine, and I'm money expert Nicole Lapin. On Tuesdays, Jason and I answer the helpline and help callers solve their work problems.

[Jason Pfeiffer]

And on Thursdays, I give you one way to improve your work and build a career or company you love.

[Nicole Lapin]

And it starts now.

[Colin Pfeiffer]

You can remind me of the details, but we were doing some work thing and one of your kids.

[Jason Pfeiffer]

Had some.

[Colin Pfeiffer]

Some poopy problems. There's a lot of poopy stories from the Pfeiffer household, though.

[Jason Pfeiffer]

Well, here's the thing. When you have kids the first many years of Your life as a parent is defined by poop management. And that's just. That is the nature of it.

[Colin Pfeiffer]

Waste management.

[Jason Pfeiffer]

I was actually just thinking about this recently because I have a nine year old and I have a five year old and the five year old just graduated pre K. And in pre K, the teacher can't wipe a kid's butt. Kid's got to go wipe his own butt, which means that the kid's got to start doing some wiping. It's probably not very good, but it's a. It's a half assed effort at it. And so I know that Colin is. I know that Colin. I know that you know that, Nicole. But for everyone else, Colin's.

[Colin Pfeiffer]

You have two kids.

[Jason Pfeiffer]

I have two kids, Fen and Colin. I know that Colin is developing some skills at wiping his own ass, but I am still wiping his ass at home. And Fen is long since taking care of his own ass. But I was just. I was wiping Colin's ass this morning and I was thinking to myself, will I know the last time that I have to do this and can I capture it? Can I film myself right afterwards running out into the street and being like, I have wiped the last ass. Which would make me so happy. I don't know that I. But that's the thing about parenting is you never really know when you're in or out of something. It's all just a big mush.

[Colin Pfeiffer]

Thank you, Jason, for that. I will repeat what I've said many times to you because we talk a lot about these stories that you give great birth control through these stories. And I really love the way you honestly talk about it. I know, like, authenticity has been totally bastardized, especially in, like, the parenting social world, because, like, authenticity is whatever. We can have a full episode about that. But you are, you. You're not edited. You're not making these stories beautiful in your work life and in our working relationship too. Like, your kids are part of it. They're running around while we're recording. They're interrupting stuff. Wasn't there a time where you also had a Zoom with some important fancy pants CEO and one of the boys came in?

[Jason Pfeiffer]

Oh, that's happened so many times. Yeah, the one that I thought was funniest was when I was interviewing the CEO of Zoom on Zoom and my kid came in and interrupted us? Because that was such a classic Zoom moment. Everyone has been on Zoom and had their kids interrupt them. So to do that with the CEO of Zoom was perfect. But yeah, I'm excited to have this conversation with you today, Nicole, because this has shown up in many of our conversations and I'm sure I've even made reference to a bunch of this stuff on Help Wanted before, but we've never just looked at it directly, so this will be fun. Is talking about what are the challenges of doing all the things that an ambitious, work focused person wants to do while also having kids, which is a really hard balance. And I have come to this belief, and I appreciate you recognizing it, that somebody needs to talk about it. I think that most parents are afraid of talking about it because there is this expectation that parents just love being parents and are grateful for the family and are feeling hashtag blessed. And so much so that I even need to caveat at the beginning of this. Like whatever else that I'm going to say during this conversation. I love my kids, they're great kids. But it's really hard. It's really hard and often very, very frustrating. And I am constantly thinking about all the things that I could have accomplished, either professionally or even just in the other things that I want for my life personally. The amount of travel that I would love to do that I haven't done, the amount of time that I wish that I could spend with my friends. The way in which we were. Just before we were recording this, we were talking about your wedding and how I'm going to fly out from the east coast to LA and back in the span of less than 24 hours because I really want to be there with you to celebrate. And I'm so excited to do it. But that's not leisurely. I would love to be there leisurely. I'd love to come out for multiple days and I can't because I got kids at home. And I think that to bottle that up and to act like that's not attention in my life is to make it worse. And the thing that I have found that makes it better for me is to be open and talk about it. And what I found is that when I do, some parents get really uncomfortable because I think I'm saying things that they had trained themselves not to directly engage with or speak. And then other parents thank me because it's a conversation that almost no one else will start. So I'm here to start it.

[Colin Pfeiffer]

Is it because parents are nervous about even insinuating that there are things that they regret by having kids?

[Jason Pfeiffer]

I. I don't think that there's any one answer here, right? Like there, there are friends of mine who are parents and being a parent is the center of their identity, and they love it, and they won't relate to any of this. And then there are other people who fall at other parts of the spectrum. So I don't want to say that, like, anything that I'm going to say here is universalized, but I do think that what you just said there is relevant to a whole lot of people. You make a life choice, whatever that life choice is, and then you want to feel like it was a good life choice because otherwise you're living with a lot of regret. And I think that a lot of parents get uncomfortable when being confronted with the possibility that, like, their life choice wasn't perfect. I think that it's fine to acknowledge that maybe your life choice wasn't perfect. I. I saw somebody on TikTok say recently, they're like, a lot of people criticize me for not having kids or something like that or, but. Or say I don't. They don't understand me that I didn't have kids. But I want you, if you're a parent right now, to close your eyes and picture your perfect Sunday morning. Now, let me tell you something. Your kids are not in that picture, are they? And it's true. Perfect Sunday morning. Nicole Weekends are exhausting with kids. They're so exhausting. Like, your life goes inverse when you have kids where, like, weekends and summer used to be this flexible time, and now it is the inflexible time. Now it's the time where you're spending the most time on kid management, and it's actually like, work time and like the school year where you have the most free time as an adult with small kids, at least. And like, my ideal Sunday morning does not involve my kids. It doesn't. Because to be spending Sunday morning with my kids is to be stopping them from fighting each other or being, like, running a restaurant in my kitchen and trying to get them food. My ideal Sunday morning would be going out to brunch with my wife and having a nice leisurely stroll somewhere, or just catching up with friends or just doing something where I feel like I have freedom of movement as an adult in the world, which is not what I have with my kids. But to say that is to indeed challenge some of the life choices that I've made. And I just don't think that should be a scary thing. We all make life choices, and it benefits us in some ways and it subtracts something in other ways. As I'm talking about this, I'm talking about the things that I've lost, but I've gained Things with having kids too. We could talk about that, but I think it's just fine to live in the complexity of having lost things as kids and that the life choice that you made was complicated and that's okay.

[Colin Pfeiffer]

Yeah. Do you think, like, this scale, there's like a scale of regret? Like it's not binary. Like I regret having kids or I don't, or maybe there are some days that you do or some days that you resent your kids or career opportunities that you can't do or weddings that you can't really enjoy or whatever.

[Jason Pfeiffer]

Yes. Anybody who has older kids wants to reach into this episode right now and say it gets easier, it gets easier. Little kids are really, really hard. And that's true. And I've heard that over and over again. And like every time people tell me that, I'm like, I hear that, I'm waiting to see it. But it's also disingenuous because a 9 year old and a 5 year old is way easier than like a 5 year old and a 1 year old. So my life has gotten easier. I am able to move around more than I used to. I don't get woken up by screams in the morning, which is what happens when you have a kid who's like three. And I suspect that when my kids are older and they're not exhausting in the way that they are now and I have more freedom of movement as an adult in the world, maybe won't even have much of a memory of the kinds of things that were frustrating me like at this point in my life. So yeah, I think that it's a scale. And you know what? My wife, so my wife Jen, she always tells me a lot of this comes down to the expectations that you set for yourself. Like, I always complain about family vacations because they're not the kind of vacations that I like to take. I like to go to a city that I've never been to before and I like to spend the entire day walking around and just like discovering random things and eating random things and meeting random people. You can't do that with kids, like at all. Zero percent. You cannot do that with kids. So what can you do with kids? You can go to the beach or you can like rent an Airbnb with a pool. I don't care about these things. I don't like these things. And then of course you're like dealing with, you're going to fill the kids time, you're going to entertain them. And that's not to say that this is unenjoyable. You know, it's fun spending time with the kids, but it's not the way that I would want a vacation. And so my wife keeps telling me, when we're going on these vacations, you have to understand that this is not the vacation that you would love. This is a different thing. This is family bonding time, and that's going to come with different roles and different outcomes. And that's true. If I go down Sunday morning from my bedroom, and I think I'm going to get a lot of work done this Sunday morning, that's going to be great. It's going to make me feel less stressed. And then I'm trying to work, and my kids are constantly interrupting me, and I'm frustrated by that because they, like, want another bowl of cereal and they won't get off their butts and do it themselves, even though they can, which is a constant conversation, then I'm going to be really frustrated. But if I went down and I was like, I'm not going to get any work done right now, so I'm not even going to try. And that is all true. Jen is completely right about that, and I'm working on that.

[Colin Pfeiffer]

That's a really, really important perspective. And this is a much different example. But I remember when I launched my third book, I was very single at the time, and there would be times that I would shame myself for not going on dates. I was like, oh, my God, I'm not making any progress in my personal life at all. But then I stepped back and said, I'm not focusing on that right now. That's not what I'm optimizing for right now. Don't shame yourself for something you're not putting energy toward. And so, yeah, when you feel guilty about not doing work because you're fixing the kids cereal or whatever, then that makes sense because you framed it that way. But saying that you're focusing on making the kids cereal changes it.

[Jason Pfeiffer]

Yeah, it does. And. And the challenge is. I don't know. And I'm. I, like, I'm hesitating on saying this because I don't want to sound like a bad person, but, like, that's the whole thing about this kind of straight parenting talk, is that you keep walking this line of being judged. I'll just say that, and then I'll say, I don't know how to find joy in getting my kids the cereal. Like, it is not a joyful task. It's an annoying task. It makes me feel like I'm running a restaurant in my house where I'm constantly being asked, hey, could you get this? Push me in. I want another one of these. And that's not fun. There's nothing fun about that. And there's no way to make it fun. And I think that the answer is that you just. You do it knowing that you don't have to do it forever. I don't know that there's another answer to it, right? Like, they won't need that from me forever. They need that for a certain number of years. And so the thing that I have to remember is if this is not like a joyful task for me, which is like, just constantly getting food for my kids, then I just have to make sure that I don't, in my head, equate my experience of parenthood with the annoying things that won't last forever. This is the good thing about kids versus a dog. A dog doesn't grow up, but kids do eventually. I know everyone tells me there will be this time when they don't want to spend as much time with me or any time with me. And so I'll tell you one other anecdote that everything that I'm just saying here reminds me of, which is when my kids were in diapers and I would need to run into public restrooms to change them, which, say, one knows, is just at any time kind of thing, right? You're just like, you're in the airport, you're at a restaurant, you're, like walking down the street, and suddenly you gotta find the nearest public restroom and change this diaper. I would go, when I would be in public restrooms, like larger public restrooms, so there's, like, people coming in and out. This thing would happen all the time, which was that some older man would walk by me and he would see me changing this diaper and he would say, enjoy every minute. And I understand what's happening, which is that he's seeing his kids are probably grown up and on to their own lives and careers. And he sees me, young dad, young kid in this stage of life, and he's. It makes him think wistfully back to the good times with his kids. And he's telling me to enjoy every minute, which is what he would like to be able to go back and enjoy those times. And I always want to turn to. I never did. I always just say thank you, but I always wanted to turn to him and said, if you enjoy this and do you want to come change this diaper? Because I don't, you know, like, I Think that it's okay to acknowledge that some parts of this phase are not satisfying. You can't enjoy every minute. There are plenty of moments to enjoy. There are plenty of minutes to enjoy. I just took Fen, my nine year old, to a Pokemon convention in Orlando. It was great. He had a blast. It was very satisfying. Like having that experience with him. It was great. I would like to do that, but I don't want to change another diaper in my life and I don't want to pretend like that was a moment to enjoy. Stick around. Help Wanted. We'll be right back. Welcome back to Help Wanted. Let's get to it. So this is the funny paradox of everything that I just said, which is that I spend a lot of time focused on and being stressed. Like a lot of just internal monologue time in my life focused on and being stressed by all the things that I can't do because I'm a parent. I have a long list of them. Jen has heard it too much. And yet my career has accelerated, I would say faster and stronger in the years in which I have been a parent than in the years in which I was not. Now, part of that is that you just get smarter as you get older. I was a parent on the latter parts of my life, not the earlier, but another part of it, I think, actually very interestingly, is that when you have kids, you are forced in a way that, at least for me, I never otherwise had to experience. You are forced to be incredibly rigorous about how you spend your time. Whereas I used to be a lot more leisurely about how I spent my time. I am now regimented. And when my kids get out the door in the morning, I know exactly what I need to get done in the hours before they show up back home. And I obsess over that now. There's still a downside to this. Yesterday is a good example. I had a lot of work to do yesterday and I really wanted to take a walk. I hadn't gotten out of the house. I was anchored to the computer. Like, just taking a walk and listening to a podcast is. Is a way to just feel calmer for me. And I kept watching the time tick down and it was like 3pm And I would say, oh, I got a little more time left. I gotta get a walk in 4pm Oh, I gotta get a walk in 5pm and then I got to 6, which is when I'm on as dad. That's the rule here is 6pm is when, like, pencil's down and I never got the Walk in now if I didn't have kids I could have worked a nice full workday and put things down at 6 or 6:30 and then a lovely walk and maybe met a friend for dinner. And I can't do that inst. It's like I'm on dad duty. And I was actually telling Jen about that and she was like well why don't we take a walk as a family? And that's what we did. And I'll be honest, wasn't the same. No, because the kids were complaining like crazy the whole time they were on their scooters. Colin of course fell halfway through screaming his head off. Jen and I can't have a conversation but the kids are like constantly coming back and forth. I physically walked but I wouldn't say that it was the relaxing experience that I wanted. But it's made me more efficient. I am a more focused person than I was before. Number two, having kids allows you to relate to other people who have kids which is actually a really useful business skill. Like it because talking about your kids is just like often a thing that comes up. I found that to be useful. I am sure that it has created in me some of the things that people like say that parenting does. It makes you a more patient person, more understand something. I don't know, I don't know how to evaluate or identify that. Having kids does introduce you to other interesting people like my friend Matt who Matt L. Blanc, who's also my book agent. I met him on a playground because our sons had become friends. And I've met a whole bunch of other people who I really really like who sometimes are very useful both personally and professionally. And I don't mean useful like whatever, good friends and they become good colleagues through having kids. So yeah, there are upsides but it's still, it's like upsides that live inside of attention.

[Colin Pfeiffer]

So there could be some correlation beyond just your age being the correlation like when you started having kids, like you were also hitting a stride in your career.

[Jason Pfeiffer]

Yeah, sure I was. And like anybody I think you are more refined in your talents, you have a stronger network just like however much older you get. But having kids certainly didn't hold me back from. I feel, I don't even know how to say it, maybe a life in which I was able to say yeah, I have no kids to come home to so I will just fly around the world doing speaking engagements non stop. Maybe I wouldn't like that life. Maybe the quote unquote bigger life is not one that I would Actually enjoy or appreciate. There's no way to know. Right. This counterfactual thinking is not actually helpful, but it's certainly a tension that I live with.

[Colin Pfeiffer]

And to be clear, you wanted kids.

[Jason Pfeiffer]

Yeah.

[Colin Pfeiffer]

You both wanted kids.

[Jason Pfeiffer]

I wanted kids. But I don't think, in retrospect, that I had really spent that much time thinking about what it meant. I think that I just grew up in a healthy family with two kids, knowing a lot of other healthy families with kids, and having kids was the only vision I had of a life. Jen is literally texting me right now. We need more bread so we can make the kids lunches. This is just the things that you got to think, right? Like, I gotta make. Just make. Can't I just focus on my own lunch? No. Gotta make the kids lunches. I don't know what to think about this. I don't know what to think about this thing that I'm about to say to you. Maybe you'll have thoughts. When we decided to have kids, I had a different idea of how my life was going to turn out. I was a magazine editor and only a magazine editor. And to me, all the things that I wanted to accomplish could be mostly accomplished by sitting in front of a computer like I just dreamed of, like, writing things that people read. And the idea of starting companies, like multiple companies, like, flying around the world and being invited to the incredible event, like, that just didn't. That wasn't on my radar. I didn't have that. And that didn't show up until I had two kids or one kid or something, until I had kids. And so I almost wonder what would have happened if I had a different set of career opportunities at the time when we were making decisions about kids and whether or not I would have wanted to sacrifice those. Maybe the answer is that you just are never fully satisfied and it doesn't matter what life decision you make. I was just reading. I don't know if you saw this, but, like, Michael Strahan, a former football player, is now on Good Morning America and on every television show. Michael Strahan is now talking about retiring from television because he's done a lot of it and he wants to spend more time with his kids. Mark Cuban is leaving Shark Tank to spend more time with his kids. And these are not like, politician excuses where you're stepping down from something, but because somebody's forcing you. But I think these are genuinely like, they did it and it was great, and now they're done with it and they want to refocus on this other thing. And so that's another thing I have to keep reminding myself. I don't know what another parallel version of my life is like. But I can also pretty much guarantee that if I, at this moment in my life, life cannot recognize and be satisfied with the successes that I do have, then I don't think some other set of successes would have made me feel any more satisfied. It probably would have made me just feel like there's something else to accomplish. My kids are great, right? We've spent almost no time talking about that in this conversation. And that's fine because that's boring. Everyone talks about how great their kids are. It's so boring. Just trust me, they're great. They're great kids. They ask interesting questions. We have fun experiences. Like they're great. Getting them cereal in the morning sucks. I'd never want to do it. I definitely never want to wipe an ass ever. But. But they're great. They're great.

[Colin Pfeiffer]

And the dialectic, it's both things can be true.

[Jason Pfeiffer]

The things that come out of their mouth are usually great. Even though I don't want to deal with the things that come out of their butt.

[Colin Pfeiffer]

That's. That's completely fair. I think the emotional aspect of like recognizing those emotions when they come up high resentment, high regret, like what's up? Nice to see you again. Instead of suppressing it is probably a healthier way. What advice would you give to someone who's expect and maybe is in an entrepreneurial career and wants to keep up the pace? Be an awesome parent with an awesome kid. I would say great parent with a great kid.

[Jason Pfeiffer]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I look, everybody's life circumstances is going to be different. As you were saying that, the first thing I thought of was make sure you have great communication with your partner. But not everyone has a partner. I have friends who are single parents and they're making it work and are entrepreneurs. You can make anything work. I think that my advice is simply to tell you you can make it work. It just requires a lot of thinking and communication and gritting your way through things. There are parts of it that are going to be hard and they're going to get easier and you're not even going to recognize that they're easier because there are other things that are hard. This is my life right now. It's actually really useful for me to see someone who has a 18 month old. My least favorite time. Here's my advice. Hang on. One to two and a half is my least favorite time. And the reason is because that is when they are mobile but incoherent. So that's when they're like walking around but they don't understand anything and they're like grabbing at everything and they have zero survival instincts and they're trying to stick things in sockets and they want to anything that could be like brought down to the ground, but it's awful. You cannot sit down anywhere because they will not sit. Try going to a restaurant with a one to two and a half year old. Not possible. They want to walk around the restaurant. Try flying anywhere. They want to walk up and down the aisle. I hated that time. And then you know what? They grow out of it. Then they grow out of that time, then they're not that anymore. And now they're like able to focus and have and play and eventually ask you interesting questions and it just changes. And you have signed yourself up for a life of change. And if I've learned anything, like my whole thing about my career, like the thing I've actually based all of my speaking on and my writing is all about how change doesn't have to be bad. It's not bad. Change is just different. And it is what you make of it. And so make the best of it. But do not for a second think that you're doing something wrong. If you are standing in a public restroom, you are changing a diaper, some old person walks by you and thinks that you should be having a great time and you're not. Don't think that you're doing anything wrong because you're not.

[Colin Pfeiffer]

Dude, you change this diaper, tell them.

[Jason Pfeiffer]

To change that diaper themselves.

[Colin Pfeiffer]

That's really good advice, Jason. And I think having communication with a partner, if you have one, makes sense. What about communication with a work husband or wife? Or let's say you had a podcast and you had the co host, huh?

[Jason Pfeiffer]

Yeah, let's see. How to podcast. And you had a co host.

[Colin Pfeiffer]

Somebody was expecting. Oh, and like how would you talk to them about that?

[Jason Pfeiffer]

Are you telling me something?

[Colin Pfeiffer]

Yes. You know. Are you telling me something? I know that we disagree a lot and you really tried to give me all this birth control and I just haven't taking it.

[Jason Pfeiffer]

It didn't take.

[Colin Pfeiffer]

It just didn't take.

[Jason Pfeiffer]

Holy. Nicole, are you serious right now? Yes. Was this was. Did I get walked into an hour long of parenting advice without realizing this?

[Nicole Lapin]

Yes.

[Colin Pfeiffer]

Yes, you did.

[Jason Pfeiffer]

Oh, my God. This is wonderful. Nicole. I didn't talk you out of it.

[Nicole Lapin]

You didn't talk me out of it.

[Colin Pfeiffer]

We're well baked. We're four months.

[Jason Pfeiffer]

Well, you're four months. Oh, my God. So you're gonna be an uncle. Yes.

[Colin Pfeiffer]

Uncle Jason.

[Jason Pfeiffer]

Go. Oh, my God. I'm so happy for you. What I'm happy for is that I spent the last hour talking about how difficult parenting is, and you have a big smile on your face, and I did not ruin your life by talking about this, which means that you're, like, as ready as you possibly can be. Fantastic. I love you. I love you guys. This is great. To go into something eyes wide open and know that, like, the thing that you're going to do is hard and you want to do it anyway. That is literally as much preparation as you can have to. Everybody before you have kids should sit down with someone like me and just talk to them for an hour and have them still want it.

[Colin Pfeiffer]

You definitely want it.

[Jason Pfeiffer]

Still want it. Then you want it, right? If you still want it. If you're like, great. Got it. It's going to be really hard, but I can manage, and I've processed all this. The only thing that you can do as a parent is to have eyes wide open. And. And that's it. That's the whole thing. So I declare you ready. Not that you needed me to do that. Thank you. And I'm glad because holy shit. If you were four months pregnant and at the end of this, you were like, I have made a terrible mistake for myself. Help Wanted is a production of Money News Network. Help Wanted is hosted by me, Jason.

[Nicole Lapin]

Pfeiffer and me, Nicole Lapin. Our executive producer is Morgan Lavoy. Do you want some help? Email our helpline@help wantedoneynewsnetwork.com for the chance to have some of your questions answered on the show. And follow us on Instagram, MoneyNews and TikTok MoneyNewsNetwork for exclusive content and to.

[Colin Pfeiffer]

See our beautiful faces.

[Nicole Lapin]

Maybe a little dance?

[Jason Pfeiffer]

Oh, I didn't sign up for that.

[Nicole Lapin]

All right, well, talk to you soon. This episode is brought to you by Progressive Insurance. Do you ever think about switching insurance companies to see if you could save some cash? Progressive makes it easy to see if you can save when you bundle your home and auto policies. Try [e-mail] Progressive Casualty Insurance Company and affiliates. Potential savings will vary. Not available in all states.