← Money Rehab with Nicole Lapin
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- [00:00]
Nicole Lapin
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- [01:07]
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- [02:24]
Minda
Linda welcome to Money Rehab.
- [02:26]
Linda Clemens
Thank you Minda. I'm excited to be here.
- [02:29]
Minda
Happy that you're here. And you know what? As a body language expert, what's the first thing you noticed about how I welcomed you?
- [02:37]
Linda Clemens
First of all, because we have a natural connection that I felt and believed that you were sincere about me being here as being excited and seeing an old friend. So your body language gets A plus.
- [02:50]
Minda
Okay, good. I was worried. I'm like, you know, what should I ask her? That question gets it.
- [02:55]
Linda Clemens
It gets an A plus.
- [02:56]
Minda
Okay, that's good. And that was how I felt. So you nailed it. For our listeners who are leading teams at work, how important is their body language?
- [03:05]
Linda Clemens
Linda, your body language is critical, and especially if you are a leader quite often, and parents will tell you young adults don't necessarily do what you tell them to do. They do what they see you do. Why is it important? As a leader, your actions speak before you do. You can say one thing, but yet your body language will indicate that you mean something else. So it doesn't matter what you say. Your nonverbal will get in the way. You and I both know when someone believes in something and they're convicted about it. Look how my hands are moving in sync with my words. They have that commitment. How many times you've worked with a manager or a leader or someone that you're talking to, and you ask them, how do you feel about xyz? How do you feel about the new director? How do you feel about this project or the move? And they'll do something like this. Well, it's okay. Now, you notice what I just did? They did a shoulder shrug. So anytime you see a shoulder shrug cancels out the verbal message. So once again, to everyone out there that's listening and watching this, you want to make sure that what you say, you have a commitment and conviction to it, because if you don't, your body will give it away.
- [04:19]
Minda
Ooh, that. That's a sound bite right there. It will and it does. Right? You don't even have to say anything. It's actions do speak. So thank you for that, Linda. Now, let's get a little granular. Today we're talking about feedback. How does your body language impact the way feedback is received in the workplace?
- [04:36]
Linda Clemens
So let's talk about the communication theory. The communication theory was done over 50 years ago by Dr. Maharabian out of UCLA. And in his study, you have a lot of behavioral experts and communication experts say, oh, that was 50 years ago. But let's hear the numbers. It says that in the study that our words are 7% of our communication. So just Think about that. What if we speak a different language? 7%. So are your words passionate or passive? Poison or potent? Are the words that are coming out of your mouth genuine, authentic? Our tonality is 38% of our communication and then our body language is 55. So add the 38 and the 55, that's 93%. So if you are not committed or convicted to what you're saying, then what's going to take place is leakage. Yeah, I hear you saying this, but I just got this feeling something's not right, something's not coming out, and that's what happens. So when individuals do this and they're having this communication, it could be perhaps, maybe I don't want to hurt the person's feelings or perhaps I'm trying to lead them in a different direction that they may not be agreeable to. Here's what takes place. If you need to say what you mean, mean what you say. And it's so important because then everything is congruent. Why is that important? Because your brain, the amygdala, the truth brain, is not going to go down with your girlfriend. So you can think about something, but whatever you think about, it's going to come about. So I can't emphasize this even more how critical this is.
- [06:11]
Minda
I wish that this is a episode I'm going to have to go back and listen to time and time again because this is important. And what I was thinking about was the general lessons here. What are the must haves of body language when one comes to giving feedback to a colleague? Because that can be touchy.
- [06:27]
Linda Clemens
So let's just say I want to give constructive, caring feedback. Notice people say constructive criticism. What is constructive criticism? If you're saying construct and you're criticizing two opposites. Right. So I want to give feedback. Caring feedback. So one of the things that you want to do, what happens if you're giving this feedback and Minda, the individual, perhaps on your team, that perhaps you inherited that individual and you really don't want them on their team. The feedback could look like this. Minda, I want to talk to you about your job performance. Look what I just did. Well, Minda, I want to talk to you about your job performance versus well, Minda, I want to talk to you about your job performance and the direction. See, look, notice I'm leaning in versus arms folded. So be it a full folded arm or half folded arm, I'm covering a power zone. What is a power zone? The heart is one of those zones, the, the super sternal notch and the heart is another zone. So when I'm closing this off, it's like closing the door and I'm trying to give feedback that's going to help someone versus when we lean in, we lean towards things that we have an interest in, we're curious about and we want to bring towards us. So, Minda, I want to talk to you about your performance. Notice that my palms are exposed. Versus Minda, I want to talk to you about your performance. Oh my gosh. Already judge, I'm already criticized. It's over. So it's very important that I think it was Stephen Covey that said, begin with the end in mind. How do I want this feedback to go? Do I want the individual to walk away empowered, enriched, transformed, feeling better, open to learn and correction, or do I want them to walk away damage? So when we begin with the end in mind, then we say to ourselves, what words? I want to choose my words. My words are 7%, but the tone is 38 that I'm speaking to. Minda could be an auditory dominated communicator. So if the tone is not right, it goes back to what our moms used to say. I don't like that tone that you're using. So again, beginning with the end in mind, and how do you want the person to walk away? Some of the things that I tell my students and my clients, you want people to walk away better and not bitter. Because if they're bitter, they're not going to take any advice. They may try to get even. So how do I want them to walk away and do I want them to say, you know what, thank you for that feedback, thank you for that information. Thank. This could help me in my career. How do you start it off saying something positive? Minda, what I love about you is that when you do interviews, man, you're so comfortable, you're so genuine, you're authentic and you make your guests feel comfortable because you're doing it in conversation. Tone, those are things that I love about you. Minda. Here are some areas or some opportunities that perhaps you could add value or enhance what you're doing now. But what if I started with the negative or the. The correction first? Then the person won't hear the positive because it depends on how they take it based on how you deliver it. So I hope that helps.
- [09:45]
Minda
That does. You nailed it. And I think about that other saying that maybe some of our parents or grandparents used to say is not what you said, it's how you said it.
- [09:54]
Linda Clemens
Yes. And okay, now I love this and they say that, right? So let's do a remix, everyone. Let's do. It's not just what you say and how you say it. It's what they hear. Oh, my goodness. So if I said, hey, Linda. Hey, Menda. I saw Steven Sandy at the mall the other day, and they were alone. Okay, you're gonna say, linda, big deal. Everybody goes to the mall, even the tone. Hey, I saw Steven Sandy at the mall the other day, and they were alone. But what if I said this, Minda? I saw Steve and Sandy at them all the other day, and they were alone. Same words, but different tone. That sends a different message. So now what does the person hear? Oh, my gosh, it must be something going on with Steve and Sandy. That's an HR issue. All because of the tone. So it's so critical. It's not just what what you say and how you say it. It's what they hear based on how you deliver it.
- [10:55]
Minda
Yeah, because now you make me want to go to Stephen Sandy's Instagram and see what's going on.
- [11:00]
Linda Clemens
And see what's going on. Absolutely. I had a presentation a few years ago at a conference you and I both spoke and spoke at, and one of the women just simply asked a question. Well, you talk about tone, Linda, does tone make a difference in dating? We're talking about at work, leading people, and all of a sudden someone says, does it make a difference in dating? And I said, your tone is so important. It could soothe the savage beast. It can bring peace if you use it right, and it can also track the right person. So I asked someone in the audience to go get me a man, find me a man, any man. And they brought back someone that worked at the hotel, not planned, never met each other. And I said, look, you can see that this is a conference of women, but I need your help. I want to demonstrate something that is so important for women in business and how they negotiate and how they work. And I bring this man up on the stage, and I gave him two examples by simply using my vocal tone and the whole audience, and I told the audience I can get them to melt in minutes just by the way. I change the tone on the request. He start grinning, start shifting. So can you imagine, with the right tone, the tone that your mother uses when growing up, when we know mom is serious, the tone that we use when we know that we're not playing or joking or jiving around, if you will. So the tone can make a difference in getting compliance, agreement, and commitment.
- [12:27]
Minda
Mic drop. Thank you for Sharing that story. We're all thinking about our platonic, romantic and workplace relationships. And the tone. I love this so much. It makes me think about something you said a little bit back about what people say and what they do. What do you think the biggest disconnect is between what leaders say and what their body language communicates?
- [12:49]
Linda Clemens
The biggest disconnect is not being truthful and authentic in what they can say. It's understandable that certain information, proprietary, they may not be able to release. Or their leadership says, we can't make this announcement, but you need to let them know there's going to be some changes when they do not have a commitment to the message. That's the thing that sends the signal, I heard him, I heard her, but I'm looking at you. But Minda, all I know is something's not right. Let's get a meeting in the break room because there is no commitment. Now, let's say you have a leader and let's just use a male as an example. And women, we could talk about you because it's important. But if you're dealing with male leadership. So let's say, yeah, there's going to be some changes around here. So a man walks in the room and it says, there's going to be some changes. We're going to have to cut back. He's wearing a suit and a tie. The jacket is button. And watch this. He says, we're going to have to cut back. There's going to be some changes. However, we're all in this together and we're going to roll up our sleeves. Well, here's the thing. He said, we're going to roll up our sleeves, but he didn't do it. So what do you think? So, Linda, what difference does it make? Oh, it makes a big difference. What he's saying is that we have to roll up our sleeves. But I'm in that leadership role. I'm not going to do it. So what would have been more impactful if he believed that, hey, as the leader, I'm in there with you, that if he would have took off his jacket, loosen that tie, and rolled up the sleeves without saying a word, and then saying, we're in this together. So as a leader, being a woman, as a leader out there, if what you are saying to your team, and this is critical, and I keep going back to it over and over again. If you have any doubt, it's going to come out. So if you have any doubt in the message, it's going to come out and it's called leakage in non verbal communication. So it's again, it's so important to remember that and to, to my sisters out there, to the powerful women that are out there. Quite often we hold back information because we are beginning to create narratives. Well, if I say this, then they'll get upset. If I do this, this will take place and therefore we hold information. And then people will begin to feel betrayed, like you knew this was happening. And they're even harder on women. So just keep that in mind. Tell me what's going to work, tell me what's happening, tell me what's not going to take place and I'll believe you when you tell me the other negative stuff because you were forthright with me.
- [15:31]
Nicole Lapin
Hold on to your wallets. Money Rehab will be right back. And now for some more money rehab.
- [15:40]
Minda
I know that every listener is just jotting all these notes down and sharing this with their managers and their partners and everybody in between.
- [15:48]
Linda Clemens
I love that.
- [15:49]
Minda
Linda and I was thinking about it. For the people who are in virtual settings or hybrid settings, how do we maintain trust through body language? Because I often hear people. It's hard to read the room right when you are on the virtual screen.
- [16:03]
Linda Clemens
Absolutely. So it's so important you notice I'm trying to set up as much as I possibly can. So when you're doing virtual presentations and you want to zoom are like a rock star. Here's what you've got to remember. All business and there's a book titled All Businesses show business by Scott McCain that no matter what you do, it's show business. You have to sell it. So if you are a leader and you're calling a virtual meeting, if you're not on the screen, why am I going to be in the screen? Conduct allowed is conduct approved. So it's one thing you're telling all of us to turn on the screens and when they're not on the screen, you don't see them. So they're going to do what they see you do. The second thing is that my grandmother used to say, let in, particularly for those of you in sales, think about this. She would say something like this, Minda, you're gonna love this, baby. If you're trying to get a million dollar contract, you can't show up like A$99 if that's not a mic drop. So when you're on the virtual screen, you want your background to be inviting. Your goal is to make an impact and not a diss track. And it's important to show as much of your upper carriage as possible. You want to show as much of your upper carriage as possible. And in your virtual presentations, you want to emphasize, punctuate and use your hands, using gestures to emphasize what it is that you're saying and making sure that your palms are shown. Why is that important? Studies have shown it is very difficult to be deceptive or lie unless you're a psychopath sociopath with the palms exposed. Why is it that when someone accuses Minda, did you take my laptop? I didn't do it. Did you take my cookie? I didn't do it. The palms are exposed. So it's important that when you're doing your virtual presentations and you're speaking honestly from the heart, they need to see your hands. And especially specifically if you're in the financial industry, they better see your hands.
- [18:10]
Minda
Okay, listen, all those sales folks and financial folks are you aspired to get into that industry. Think about those things when you're doing those interviews and you're on the screen. And I also thought about cultural awareness and how that plays into body language and feedback. What role would you say that they all work together in concert?
- [18:31]
Linda Clemens
Absolutely. So think about this. When in Rome, do as the Romans do. So we're in a diverse world, you have a diverse team, and we want to seek to understand. So here in the United States, it's so important. If you're doing face to face business, eye contact is critical. We deem it critical up to 85% of the time because this is what we think. If I'm not looking at you directly, you're thinking, okay, she's a little shifty, Something's going on with the deal. But what if I'm doing business with someone from another culture that perhaps just got into the country and perhaps they're from an Asian culture, Japanese, if you will. Direct eye contact in your business meetings can be deemed disrespectful. As a matter of fact, they look at the super sternal notch. So in dealing with different cultures, understanding that our language or even our colors of the clothes that we wear, if I'm doing business in China, they've relaxed it a little bit. Is that the color of white was the sign of mourning. So what if I was wearing a beautiful white suit, my linen white suit to a meeting, it could send a different kind of message. So when in Rome, you do as the Romans do, when you have diverse audience, you want to honor and respect the different cultures. And be very careful of using what we call in body language, emblems. And it's like sign language for non verbal communication, not for the deaf community. But what I mean is emblems that go like this. A. Okay. That's what that means in the United States. But what if you have someone from another country where this is actually obscene and insulting? So you have to be aware of that. And it's so important to honor and celebrate our differences, and particularly if you want to persuade, aid, convince, and preserve relationships.
- [20:12]
Minda
Amazing. Linda, you're so good at reading body language cues that most of us more than likely miss. And so thank you for putting us up on game. Speaking of games, I have this game that I want to play. It's called read the room. You want to play?
- [20:26]
Linda Clemens
Let's play.
- [20:28]
Minda
All right. I'll describe a common workplace scenario we've all experienced, and you tell us what body language signals to watch for and what they really mean. Ready to decode some workplace dynamics?
- [20:41]
Linda Clemens
Let's do it.
- [20:41]
Minda
Okay. Let's read the room. Well, you're going to read the room, and I'm going to learn. But here's the first scenario. During feedback, your manager leans back, crosses their arms, but says, my doors always open.
- [20:54]
Linda Clemens
Okay, so let's think about this. So I'm going to give a little insight for everyone. When you're reading non verbal communication, your first lesson is to know the person's baseline. And the baseline is that individual's norm. Oh, that's just Jim. That's what he does all the time. So he leans back and says, my door is always open, but yet he closed the door to the heart, even though the physical door is open. So your brain is saying, no, it's not, because he's saying it's open, but he closed off his body. So what he's saying to you is that, yeah, my door is always open if I want to hear what you have to say, but don't bring me no crap. So it's very important to know the baseline. Now, if I'm a new hire in your company and I come out and says, minda, I was just in there with Jim, and even though he said that his door is always open, I just didn't feel that. Now, what if you walked in the room and Jim shut the physical door? Okay, and. But what you're talking about was not really that big a deal or confidential or personal, but he shut the door. So if I'm a Kinesis aesthetic individual, an emotional based communicator, I'm thinking, oh, if he called me in the office, I'm in trouble. Then all of a sudden, now he's sitting there and talking to me. And he leans back. Hey, Linda, my door is always open. And his body. Look at the body language. Open. So if you ever need to talk to me, look at the hands. Again, everybody, if you ever need to talk to me, you're welcome to come in. As opposed to my door. No, it's not. He's locked and loaded.
- [22:27]
Minda
No, in his hands, you cannot see his palms.
- [22:30]
Linda Clemens
You can. Right, Exactly. Very good. You advance, Linda, you advance to the next session.
- [22:36]
Minda
Okay. I love it. Our second scenario is a team member is in a meeting presenting their ideas, and their colleague keeps looking down, taking notes.
- [22:45]
Linda Clemens
And this has happened before. So here's what I want you all to think about. Timing and context. Here again, the co worker, is this their norm? When everybody speaks, they're always looking down, taking notes because they may be visual people and they have to write it down. So we got to find out what their baseline. If it's their norm. But what if they only do it when you're speaking? Okay, that's a hot button. So it could mean a couple of things based on if you know their baseline. So first example, if you know their baseline and then everyone else did their presentation and he or she didn't take the notes, but when you did, can come across as. I'm not listening to what she has to say. And it's called dismissal. So again, your observation. You're looking around. Okay, she's doing it then. So maybe that's how she learns. Since there's no PowerPoint, maybe that's how he operates. So they have to write it down. So you're getting to know what their norm in the baseline, but they only do it to you. Dismissal.
- [23:54]
Minda
And that's where the lack of trust we Absolutely somebody in that way.
- [23:58]
Linda Clemens
Absolutely. Yes. You're reading my mind.
- [24:03]
Minda
You're giving us all this great information that we deal with all the time, but we don't know how to decode these things. One more scenario for you, Linda, is a co worker enthusiastically nods at everything in the meeting, but their feet are always pointed toward the door.
- [24:18]
Linda Clemens
Yes. Okay. Number one, it could be. Let's say that's their norm. Always does it in the meeting. Like you said, it could be their nervous trigger. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. Now, that depends how fast that they're nodding. You just gave me the indication how fast they're nodding because their feet are pointed towards the door. Make note of this, everyone. Feet don't lie. Feet are pointed in the direction they want to go. So think about the Time that you've been in a networking circle. Let me see if I can demonstrate this. So I'm looking face forward, head on, and we're all in this circle, and I'm ready to go. Watch this. So you're telling me, oh, Linda, we should get together. And I'm saying, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And I lost my feet. I'm. The body's turning. Yeah, get me at the office. Call me. So if it's a fast movement, I'm ready to go. Hurry up, get to it. That's what that means. Now, what if they're going like, wow, they're taking it in and they're nodding where their feet wouldn't be pointed towards the door unless they begin. That sounds good. I agree with you. The feet begins to move slowly, but they're ready to exit.
- [25:21]
Minda
You make me think about those times when you run into somebody in the hallway or the break room and they fast talk.
- [25:27]
Linda Clemens
You like, yeah, yeah, yeah. How you been? How's the family?
- [25:29]
Minda
Yeah, no, they don't want to engage now. That's where we're ending the game. Because now you've made me think of so many different things that I want to deep dive into a little more personal. And I want to ask you, how has your understanding of body language transformed your own approach to giving and receiving feedback?
- [25:49]
Linda Clemens
It has helped me tremendously because it allows me to get into a person's space as to who they are. And because I know this, if a person is pretty much sensitive and giving the feedback, I'll let them know it's a safe place. Hey, I'm a direct person. Just tell me my feelings won't be hurt because I can tell through their hesitation they're trying to gain permission. So I allow them that space. If someone is sometimes a little too direct, could be aggressive or abusive in their vocal tone, I let them know in that way by matching their tone in a more positive way. Says, look, hey, we don't have to beat around the bush. Just go ahead and tell me. So I begin to connect with them on that level. So to let them know, just because I'm quiet doesn't mean that I don't know the art of war if they're coming to me that way. So it has helped me tremendously by having the advantage. Now, the disadvantage image is this. When we want to see and feel and believe the best in people, that's human nature. We want it. So when I think it was Maya Angelou that said, when people show you who they are, believe them well, yes and no, because who they are in that seven to eight seconds that it takes to make that first impression. But we know they're trying to show their best, put their, their best face forward. But if they're showing me a different type of person because they just came out of a meeting and I'm meeting them for the first time and they're very maybe abrupt or, and, and don't have time at all, I don't know what happened prior to coming out to me, so I could say, oh, yeah, I met that woman Linda. I know you speak highly of her, but she was quite rude towards me. Then you said to me she just had a major loss and just got the news or just received that medical call that no one wants to hear, see. So I judged them on what they showed me, but didn't allow them to be able to, to go deeper. So here's the thing I want you to remember, and this is so important and one ever really talks about it and you hear the saying that goes, you could only get one opportunity to make a good first impression. I may get the one initial opportunity to make the good first impression, but I can take the remainder 10 to 15, 20 minutes to validate whether it's true or not. See? So if I'm acting this way, all just prim and proper and then next thing you know, know when I think everyone's gone and you peek around the corner, I kick the cat. Oh. So I gave you the one initial impression, the one that we use psychologically to be liked because we want everyone to like us. But then when the lights are not on us and we think everyone's gone, then your true essence comes out. So what I say to folks all the time, it takes that four to seven or eight seconds, if you will, but remain in that moment for the next 10, 15 to 20 minutes to see if they're consistent. See, it is so important. Important. The congruency in the words, the tone and the way you behave. I get it. You can tell I get excited about this subject.
- [28:52]
Minda
Well, you're good at it and that's why you're the expert. It makes me think about what do you find that's most surprising that you've learned about trust through studying body language? Because that's also certain things we do or say or act. It either enhances trust or erodes trust. Right?
- [29:09]
Linda Clemens
Yeah. The biggest thing that has been an eye opener for me is that people who want people to trust them, some of them the people that I've experienced, do not give it back themselves. They want people to be loyal to them, but yet they're not loyal. They want people to be authentic, but yet they're not authentic. So it's the distrust that they have of everyone else, but they're not giving it and not understanding what, they're not going to no longer receive it and they don't have a clue. And so the biggest thing that I've realized that a shocker for me me is that so many people are actually clueless. They're clueless of how the energy that they're giving off, they're clueless of their non verbals. And there's a saying that goes, how can you see the picture when you're in the frame is having that awareness of what you look like. That's what the mirror is for. When I say the mirror, not just the physical mirror in your home, in your bathroom or your bedroom, the mirror is my friend Minda girl. Tell me when I'm out of order in a meeting. Fix my crown. Tell me. Having someone that can honestly share with you, you know what I. When they made that announcement of the person that was getting that new position and I know you were up for it, the way you act. What do you mean the way I act? You sat back and you turned towards the door. You were done. See, now you're my mirror because I'm acting in the emotional moment and may not realize it.
- [30:42]
Nicole Lapin
Hold on to your wallets. Money rehab will be right back. And now for some more money rehab.
- [30:55]
Minda
You've been giving us so many practical tips, Linda on what we can do. But I'm curious, what's one trust building tip that people can activate tomorrow to continue to have trust when they're providing or receiving feedback?
- [31:10]
Linda Clemens
Absolutely. Can I give up one plus a little bonus?
- [31:12]
Minda
Yes. Give us a little sauce on there.
- [31:14]
Linda Clemens
And I like it spicy so I'm gonna put some hot sauce on it. So here's the thing that is so important. When giving and receiving feedback, be a hundred percent present in their presence. So whoever you're speaking to, don't worry about the distractions. Make them feel at that moment that they are the most important person in the world because we're in a fast food world, if you will. Everything is quick. So can you imagine giving someone the intention for them to be heard to voice their opinion, for you to give facial validation, that's affirmation. And confirmation is so critical. And the key in, in building that trust is building rapport. People just don't like people who are like them. People like people who like them. That's why for those that are in sales, the old cliche is get people to like you. No. Start loving and liking people, and you will be amazed at what would be revealed.
- [32:24]
Minda
Mic drop again.
- [32:25]
Linda Clemens
There's my little mic.
- [32:27]
Minda
Linda, you are the go to body language expert, and you've graced many stages and served a lot of clients. And I'm wondering, when it comes to building trust through feedback, what still gives you hope?
- [32:39]
Linda Clemens
What gives me hope is the fact that people of all ages, background, race, color, gender, creed, doesn't matter, young or old, they see something in the message that I'm giving, and they'll see a little part of them. That's what I do. That's how I come across. This is what happened in my relationship. The biggest thing that happened for me is one of my presentations was at a junior high school, and I was their keynote speaker. And there was about over 600 students in the room. And there was a young man that was sitting in the raft we would call the Nosebleed. And I did a demonstration on the stage, preparing the kids. If you go for job interviews, if you're doing this for the summer. Summer. And it was at the end of the presentation that this young man running back behind the stage, and they said, no, no, no, no, no. Ms. Clemens has to leave. And I said, I never have to leave. When it comes to a young adult, I need to hear their question because it's important to them. Not tomorrow at that moment. And Minda, I get emotional just thinking about it. The question this young man asked me, he says, I noticed that you were reading the body language of the people of my fellow students up there. Magic. And he asked this particular question. He said, can you tell from someone's body language if they no longer want to live? Now, what if I was doing the diva dip, too busy to stop and take that moment? It disturbed me that of course, there's a guest. I had to talk to the principal. And later on, after talking to their parents, the child was troubled, had some things going on, but there were letters in his little drawer at home that he was writing about ending his life. Needless to say, they got the young man additional help. But that question triggered. So what gives me hope is that people can come to you, and they will come to you. And they may ask you a question, and they may be saying something, and you may or may not hear it and get the true story. But here's where the true story will come. Come. They may ask you something, and it May not be direct, but the body language is going to tell you what's going on. So what I challenge everyone to do, be a hundred percent present in their presence. Learn to hear. Here's my little saying. Learn to hear the inaudible. What they're not saying to how you feeling today? I'm calling my friend on the phone, Minda, how you feel, girl? How you doing? You want to go get something to eat? Oh, I'm doing okay. That's not Mendo's baseline, but that's hearing what she's not saying and being able to see the invisible, Perhaps what they're thinking that comes out that gives me hope. If each and every day we take a moment to watch for those little things, if we do that, then we begin to 10x our communication and we get better in our interpersonal skills. And it helps us become not just better human beings, it helps us become better human. Becoming.
- [35:58]
Minda
Wow. Thank you, Linda, for sharing that story. Because I think we all can slow down and really pay attention and be present to what people are saying and what they're not saying. And the other thing that stood out to me about that story was that young adult trusted you. And even in that short amount of time that you had for him to feel comfortable to ask that question, to receive that feedback from you, that says a lot. You don't have to know people for 10 years. And so that's what stood out to your body language, the way that you're toning your voice, that signaled to him that you were safety.
- [36:35]
Linda Clemens
One of the kids asked me during the Q and A, they said, okay, you're adult, you're like our mom, but are you a big kid in an adult's body? Now, that was the best compliment, knowing your audience. But Minda, I was able to meet them and connect with them on a level that builds rapport. So that's why I have my nieces teach me all the latest dances, the lingo that the kids are using. And I know my audience. So when I come out there, I'm not coming out there sounding like a mommy or daddy tone, because they'll tune out.
- [37:08]
Minda
Yeah, they. Absolutely. Linda on Money Rehab, Nicole normally asks for a money tip, but I wanted to know what's a practical tip about how body language impacts business success.
- [37:21]
Linda Clemens
Absolutely. So this is the money tip, Right. You can make million dollar moves if you have the billion dollar cues, the non language. Right. So what that simply means is I have clients that are in the. I can look at the wealth advisors and tell you which ones are doing well and which ones are not by the way they're walking, with their posture, the way they comport themselves and how quickly that they move. People who are destined knowing where they're going and intentional move as if they're going towards their goal. So if you are wanting to be able to move and do those million dollar moves, start changing your billion dollar cues, if you will, giving off the right language. So watch this what if and the money tip. If you're in the financial industry and someone's talking to you about investments or talking to you about spending something, do you believe that? If I'm saying, okay, so how much would this car cost? How much would this property cost? How much of this boat cost? And you're selling it to me and I'll say, oh, what are the maintenance fees on this? This? And you say, oh, look at my face, about a thousand a year. Because now you're inflicting your belief on how you spend money on me because you wouldn't spend that kind of money. So if you wouldn't spend that kind of money, you can overcome objections in which you actually believe in.
- [38:53]
Nicole Lapin
Money. Rehab is a production of Money News Network. I'm your host, Nicole Lapin. Money Rehab's executive producer is Morgan Lavor Boy. Our researcher is Emily Holmes. Do you need some money Rehab? And let's be honest, we all do. So email us your money questions moneyrehaboneynewsnetwork.com to potentially have your questions answered on the show or even have a one on one intervention with me. And follow us on Instagram @moneynews and tiktokoneynewsnetwork for exclusive video content. And lastly, thank you. No, seriously, thank you. Thank you for listening, listening and for investing in yourself, which is the most important investment you can make.