Jennie Garth on Negotiation Lessons From 90210 and Habits That Are Quietly Costing You

Summary

Money Rehab with Nicole Lapin

Episode Summary: “Jennie Garth on Negotiation Lessons From 90210 and Habits That Are Quietly Costing You”

Date: April 15, 2026
Guest: Jennie Garth, Actress & Author (“I Choose Me”)

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Episode Overview

Nicole Lapin welcomes Jennie Garth, famed for her iconic role as Kelly Taylor on “Beverly Hills, 90210,” for a candid, heartfelt, and at times irreverent discussion about money, negotiation, self-worth, family, and female empowerment. Jennie shares lessons learned from early fame, making—and losing—money, negotiating her worth in Hollywood, and unlearning a scarcity mindset. The episode also explores the impact of negative self-talk, family dynamics, how to talk about money in relationships, and passing along better financial habits to kids.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

Jennie’s Early Money Mindset

• Scarcity Mentality and Childhood
  • Jennie grew up without money conversations at home. Her first memories of money involved farm work at “twenty-five cents an hour” to buy candy (05:10).
  • Fame and wealth came young, but knowledge didn’t: “I just didn’t understand money at all. It was never discussed... I had no idea what it was or why you needed it or how to handle it.” (06:12)

Fame, Responsibility, and Blind Spots

• Crash Course in Financial Pressure

  • Bought her first house at 16-18. “That’s when the big girl responsibilities settled in... the pressure of like, okay, I have to have X amount every month or I don’t get to have this house.” (06:32)
  • Others managed her finances: “They were handling all of the details all the nitty gritty... I had zero idea what was happening with my money.” (07:16)
  • Jennie admits she was likely taken advantage of: “I’m pretty sure I did at some point along the way... decisions made on my behalf that probably didn’t benefit me.” (07:41)

• Breaking Through Financial Illiteracy

  • At 50, motivated by her husband, Jennie started learning about her own money. “Honestly, it’s like a different language for my brain.” (08:00)
  • Nicole relates: “Money is a language just like anything else... until you speak it, you’re confused.” (08:36)
  • Jennie on pretending in meetings: “I started to fake that I knew the language... saying yes, okay, that sounds great... really just faking it.” (09:07)
  • Now, she’s not afraid to stop meetings to ask for clarification.

Negotiation & Talking About Money at Work

• Taboo of Salary Conversations

  • 90210 cast avoided money talk for years; pay imbalances persisted. “Nobody wanted to know anything about money... I didn’t want to find out if I’m making less than the other people on the show.” (10:33)
  • Eventually, a few cast members united for negotiations: “There’s more strength in our unity...” (10:43)

• Lessons from Hollywood—And Gender

  • Jennie reflects on arriving too late to fair, unified ensemble negotiation (“favored nations” approach). (11:51)
  • “Women are getting paid less than men still in this industry and it’s really hard to break those norms.” (13:32)

Family, Guilt, and Tall Poppy Syndrome

• Navigating Fame Within Her Family

  • Jennie didn’t want to be the “shiny” one: “I have like, I don’t want to outshine people or seem as if I’m any better than my siblings.” (14:42)
  • Nicole introduces “tall poppy syndrome”—cutting oneself down to fit in. Jennie: “Are we the tall poppies?... We get pruned.” (16:12–16:19)

• Therapy and Permission to Shine

  • Jennie shares a pivotal therapy lesson: “It’s okay to shine, that’s why you’re here.” (16:22)
  • Both Nicole and Jennie discuss the discomfort of receiving compliments and learning to accept, rather than shrink. (17:32)

Money Mindset Reframed

• Scarcity vs. Abundance

  • Jennie found that “squeezing the reins and pulling back... that’s when the flow stops.” When she shifted to abundance, “it actually brought more money in.” (20:24)

  • Nicole: “There really is energy in money... when you hoard it... it doesn’t come back around.” (21:56)

  • Jennie acknowledges others’ influence, having absorbed “pound foolish, pennywise” criticism and similar stereotypes. “It’s very hard when you’re receiving messages from people you trust... but once you step out, you’re able to defy those things.” (22:43)

Modeling Money for Kids

• Passing Down Money Habits

  • Jennie’s daughters are mostly “independent in every aspect.” With the youngest in college, she works on budgeting together but admits she’s “weak” when it comes to little luxuries for her. (23:59)
  • “That building of that independent mindset... I can take care of myself if I need to... is such an important thing for women to feel.” (25:17)

• Kids Learn What You Live

  • “She’s always watching you... they watch you spending or hoarding or hiding purchases, and then that becomes their habit.” (25:23)
  • Recent meme lesson: “You would kill for your kids or die for them... but would you live for them or change your habits for them?” (25:49)

Money and Relationships

• Keeping Finances Separate

  • With her husband Dave, both keep finances separate, spending equally. “We've never joined our finances... I don't know when I'll feel comfortable doing that joint thing or if I ever will honestly.” (29:45)
  • Jennie loves providing/treating people—“when someone pays for my lunch or dinner, I get really excited.” (31:58)
  • Reflects on previous marriage, purchasing big-ticket items for her spouse, believing “he would love me more probably.” Has learned to be more intentional with giving. (32:12–32:46)

• Bread Winner, Making Bread

  • On always being the breadwinner: “I’ve always paid for everything that I need or my children need... I just try not to hold on tight to anything.” (34:46)

  • Fun realization: “Breadwinner and money’s called bread—I honestly thought it meant like putting food on the table.” (34:55)

Wealth Advisory & Industry Intimidation

• Why Nicole Founded Private Wealth Collective
  • Nicole shares how Jennie inspired her to start her own, less intimidating wealth management firm after rejecting “jargony and gatekeeping” styles. (26:48)
  • Both discuss the intimidation of the “three men in suits” at money meetings; Jennie: “It’s such a posturing situation happening that I just kind of let it go now.” (27:57)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Financial Illiteracy
  Jennie: “I just didn’t understand money at all. It was never discussed... I had no idea what it was or why you needed it or how to handle it." (06:12)

• On Courage in Negotiation
  Jennie: “There’s more strength in our unity.” (10:43)

• On Scarcity
  Jennie: “When I’m living in scarcity mindset about finances, it gets more and more scarce... I’m suffocating the flow, the energy of it.” (35:50)

• On Tall Poppy Syndrome
  Nicole: “High achieving people sort of put themselves down to match the norm.” (16:13)
  Jennie: “Are we the tall poppies?... We get pruned.” (16:16)

• On Accepting Compliments
  Nicole: “Drinking yourself to make others feel better might actually have an unintended side effect.” (17:32)

• On Fear
  Jennie: "Fear is false evidence appearing real.” (19:25)

• On Modeling for Kids
  Nicole: “Kids don’t listen to what you say... they listen to what you do.” (25:23)

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• Jennie’s childhood money memories & scarcity mindset: 05:10–06:12
• First big paycheck, buying a house as a teenager: 06:32
• Unaware of financial details/being taken advantage of: 07:32–07:41
• Learning the language of money: 08:36
• Faking understanding in financial meetings: 09:07
• Salary secrecy and group negotiation in Hollywood: 10:33–11:51
• Tall poppy syndrome & therapy breakthrough: 16:12–16:22
• Fear, negative self-talk, and money: 19:22–19:25
• Scarcity vs. abundance mindset: 20:24–21:56
• Role modeling with kids: 23:59–25:17
• Relationship approach to money (keeping finances separate): 29:45–31:03
• Giving as love – lessons from marriage: 32:12–32:46
• Positive self-fulfilling prophecies: 36:49–38:21
• Advice for new moms: 38:35–39:41

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Final Takeaways

• Abundance Mindset: Letting go of scarcity opens up financial opportunities and emotional well-being.
• Financial Awareness: You can always learn and advocate for yourself financially, regardless of when you start.
• Negotiation Power: Uniting with others boosts leverage—but cultural and industry norms may resist.
• Self-Worth: Allowing yourself to “shine” benefits not just you, but those around you.
• Modeling Habits: Kids internalize parental behaviors—healthy money beliefs are as important as healthy spending.
• Relationship Boundaries: There’s no one right way—joint or separate finances; open dialogue is key.
• It's Okay to Ask Questions: If you don’t understand finance talk—push for clarity.

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Ending Note:
Jennie encourages women to prioritize themselves, shine unapologetically, and remember that “fear is false evidence appearing real.” Practicing presence and self-compassion—while actively letting abundance flow—are her hard-won financial and life lessons.

Transcript

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[Nicole Lan]

host if you're a nineties kid like me you will definitely recognize today's guest from a nine zero two one zero poster you probably had on your bedroom wall when she was just a teenager jennie garth was cast in the show that defined a decade of television and some of the lessons from her character kelly taylor have stuck with her so much so that her new memoir i choose me comes from one of the most iconic moments on the show today jenny and i talk about how to talk to your spouse about money how negative self talk impacts your your kids and if you have ever felt like you needed to quiet your own ambition to keep other people comfortable she shares the cure i'm nicole lan the only financial expert you don't need a dictionary to understand it's time for some money

[Jennie Garth]

rehab

[Nicole Lan]

well i'm so excited to welcome you jenny garth to money rehab i'm

[Jennie Garth]

so happy to be here i need to to be rehabbed nicole help me

[Nicole Lan]

out i got you sister well i was on your show about a year ago which was crazy because i would really like a redo i know you

[Jennie Garth]

were i was a mess you had to have been out of your mind

[Nicole Lan]

i was like in diapers with my daughter still postpartum you remember those days my house my studio burned down everything and then i was like but i have to go on jenny's how could i say no and so like i

[Jennie Garth]

dug done it another time oh my god so i'm coming back i couldn't believe when i found out that you were going through all that and your house had just burned down i don't know how you even showed up thank

[Nicole Lan]

you i showed up for you because you're amazing and it was so fun to have the conversation obviously you were in this chair and so i wanted to ask you so many more follow up questions but i was like duh this is not my show so now it's my turn but when we were talking you were saying how you didn't grow up with money and you always had this like scarcity mentality about money take me back to the beginning like what was your early relationship with your parents how did they talk or not

[Jennie Garth]

talk about money there was no talk about money the only thing i remember about money was that i used to get a job on the farmer's land surrounding our farm and i would get paid you know twenty five cents an hour to pull weeds out of his soybean fields and the corn fields and i would walk it's called walk the beans i would walk the beans for twenty five cents an hour and i was elated to have like five dollars or something at the end of the day or whatever a couple weeks that i could go buy candy with and not have to like ask my mom

[Nicole Lan]

for money and you made it so big from from the beans to the big screen the small screen all the screens you know you were so young at the time when you started making real money like much more than twenty five cents i would yes yes hopefully did that scarcity mentality go away at that point like when you had money or did it still i don't think

[Jennie Garth]

i do i just didn't understand money at all it was never discussed and i i had no idea what it was or why you needed it or how to handle it and i learned that pretty quickly when i landed in hollywood you know we were paying for our apartment at first and then once you know i got a job and money started coming in consistently i bought my first house at i think sixteen seventeen eighteen years old can't remember exactly but and then that's when like the big girl responsibilities settled in and the pressure of like oh okay so i have to have x amount every month or i don't get to have this house you know and so i quickly learned about you know what it what it would take on my end to sort of accommodate a comfortable lifestyle and that changed over the years as i became a mom and all of that but i got i got a crash course in feeling the responsibility and the sort of the burden of the pressure i guess of money and money management but at the same time i had other people doing it and so they were handling all of the details all the nitty gritty of managing it i had zero idea what was happening with

[Nicole Lan]

my money yeah you told me that nobody thought you needed to know about your finances which is really scary because that's when people get taken advantage of

[Jennie Garth]

oh yeah i'm pretty sure i did at some point along the way there was were some moments that i was unaware of or decisions that were made on me my behalf that probably didn't benefit me first and foremost even as a fiduciary with a fiduciary in place but i'm not going to look back i'm only going to look forward i felt really things like my money is in a good place right now as far as you know i'm making money and i'm spending you know a little less than i'm making so it's things are good for the moment and i have a whole new team on it so but i did decide around fifty that you know my husband was urging me get a handle on your money you need to know more and more and more and i said okay yeah so i really did try to learn some things but it honestly it's like a different language for my brain totally are you used to hearing that i

[Nicole Lan]

i figured that out the hard way i started when i was eighteen on the floor of the stock exchange and i was like this actually sounds like japanese to me and so i realized yeah that money is a language just like anything else and when you don't speak the language which is like i don't get it i don't understand it but then you start immersing yourself in it and you're like oh okay you know if i went to japan and i didn't speak japanese i'd be really confused if i went to wall street i didn't speak the language of money i'd be really confused until you speak it and then you're like duh i

[Jennie Garth]

obviously that's yeah i think it was like at first i didn't think and no one else thought i needed to speak the language i needed to focus on the language that i did speak which was making the money and then i started to fake that i knew the language oh so i would tell me in money meetings and they would be talk speaking the language of which i had no idea acronyms and i would say yes okay okay yeah that sounds great you know really just faking it and then i came to the place now where i know a little bit more and i'm able to say hey hold on can you just break that down for me a little bit more so i can really understand what you're saying and but i think before i just felt too scared to do that or like they would treat me you know like oh this girl knows nothing about money poor girl what you

[Nicole Lan]

know yeah not rich woman not poor girl like you were they were there

[Jennie Garth]

because of you yeah it was weird being that young and having all of that happening in in the realm of

[Nicole Lan]

the money world yeah and smiling and nodding is you know what a lot of women do and why we do what we do to help open up this dialogue about money but i imagine when you were so young there wasn't also a lot of talk amongst your colleagues or peers like were people on set talking about what they made or was that part of even the no

[Jennie Garth]

no everybody was sort of tight lipped about their personal finances and what salaries they were making and for for many years on the ten year run that was the kind of balance that was happening until at one point i think three or four of us really got together and said let's go in as a team where there's more strength in the in our unity and renegotiated some things like that but for the for the most of the time it was very everybody did their own thing and nobody wanted to know anything about money from you know because what i didn't want to find out if i'm making and in fact i was making less than the other people on the show and then there came a point where i was making more than other people on the show and that's a very tender situation to talk to your castmates your you know brothers and sisters basically and that letting people getting people uncomfortable around that just didn't seem worth it

[Nicole Lan]

but then it became worth it when you guys came together finally so what do you think changed between like having those conversations be uncomfortable to turning into something really empowering where you could band together and advocate i wish it had

[Jennie Garth]

happened sooner i mean i know that when you know the big news about the friends cast coming together and renegotiating as favored nations that really was beneficial for them and made the even you know the playing field even because it is it should be that we're all there doing our jobs together and if it weren't for one of us or the other it wouldn't work i think we were just a little too late to that game and the sort of hierarchy system was already the like different levels of paychecks was already established so we never got that equality across the board and that was always a source of you know a little bit of a sore subject do you think that

[Nicole Lan]

was a sign of the times like do you think if you did that today it would be different you know

[Jennie Garth]

i'd like to say yes but i still think that happens i think the number one on the call sheet gets x amount of dollars and then it goes down from there unless they go in and and stand unified which we really didn't know that that was an option back in the nineties and now we do so i wonder what it would look like for an ensemble to go in from the beginning but it's scary because we are all worried about our own money issues like all of us you know think about money and worry about money and so we want to cover our own asses you know and so it would it would take a special group of people that would commit to doing that and i think it would absolutely be beneficial but unfortunately it's still women are getting paid less than men still in this industry and it's it's really hard to break those

[Nicole Lan]

norms i mean nine zero two one zero obviously changed your life you said you bought a house when you're so young that your parents also moved into and they called you the hollywood daughter that in your book you talk about feeling uncomfortable about that with your six other siblings how did you navigate that uncomfortability or like trying to put yourself down

[Jennie Garth]

well i again had no idea what i was doing and no one in my family had ever gone to hollywood there was no real money there was no wealth in my family so i i don't know how i i'm still sitting here honestly like after just really not having any background or training or teaching about how to deal with it but i did absolutely feel at times like because i was from a big family and i was already the baby in the family i felt like i got spoiled and my sisters definitely made it verbalized it that they felt like i was spoiled and we all kind of embraced it and like joked around about it no she's the baby of the family she's so spoiled but spoiled in just the respect of more lenience i think i even see that with my girls now like my first daughter was raised differently than my third daughter just because you change as a parent times change so of course the older kids in the family are going to have their you know comments about how the baby's being raised but i did definitely feel like i just wanted to have the energy feel the same in my family amongst my siblings for sure even cousins i didn't want to be treated special more special than i already was as the baby like i i i'm very uncomfortable being in the spotlight when others are in my family are watching from the side it just it's a weird thing i have like i don't want to outshine people or seem as if i'm any better than my siblings you know and i've always just felt like i need to keep that i can keep that at bay you know but that but you are

[Nicole Lan]

shiny and you are shining have you heard of tall poppy syndrome no please like you cut yourself down to make everybody else sort of feel and more comfortable or high achieving people sort of like put themselves in down to match the norm you know i see women i see myself do that wait are

[Jennie Garth]

we the tall poppies yeah and then

[Nicole Lan]

we like cut down to the rest

[Jennie Garth]

of the pop we get pruned

[Nicole Lan]

just be the top shiny poppy okay i

[Jennie Garth]

like that i'm gonna think of that because i'm really working on that and i have done a lot of work on it because i was in some therapy session at some point and i remember them saying to me jenny it's okay to shine that's why you're here yeah and i it kind of opened up things for me because i've always felt comfortable uncomfortable shining because of the way other people might feel in the

[Nicole Lan]

wake of it i felt the same way until recently we had a behavioral scientist on and he told me to stop it because it makes him feel bad like when he gave me a compliment i'd be like oh no you know yes whatever brush it off and then he's like but it makes the giver of the compliment feel bad like that they're stupid or wrong or you know if they think you're so smart or so pretty and you're like no i'm not then you know you wouldn't want that perception right and so it it flipped how i thought about the self deprecation that i default to or

[Jennie Garth]

that just receiving compliments or just shrinking

[Nicole Lan]

yeah you know drinking yourself to to make others feel better might actually have like an unintended side effect that i

[Jennie Garth]

did a reverse that's so interesting i like thinking about it that way so

[Nicole Lan]

through a bunch of therapy you and me both trying to work on that it sounds like you've tried to flip your mindset and like stand in that

[Jennie Garth]

light now my age being fifty four i i feel like confident stepping into this sort of divine energy female empowered energy i feel very much more comfortable in that than i ever have and i'm not afraid of the impact that i have on people or don't have on people like i'm i'm more comfortable in who i am now so that has an impact in in every aspect business family home life friendships you know i come to the table with much more much more of an ability to listen and be present instead of worrying about all those things in my head that i've spent so many years trying to ignore but they've been you know reverberating yeah yeah it's the greatest hits

[Nicole Lan]

like i always call them like the ruminations like oh i see you i

[Jennie Garth]

see you coming back it's weird when you like you we think we're the only one that has this problem these uncontrolled negative thoughts that break break ourselves down or keep ourselves in a certain box or keep ourselves small because we're filling ourselves with fear by listening to that voice and you but fear is just false evidence appearing real say it

[Nicole Lan]

one more time that's a bar fear

[Jennie Garth]

is false evidence appearing real when it comes to the fear we hear in our minds the fear we feed ourselves it's not coming from anybody else i mean there is fear fear is a good emotion to have yeah but like when you're running from a bear right there's certain times when you need to really listen to the fear but when it comes to like negative self talk it's false it is actually untrue but our minds are so convincing and we just believe them because oh well you've never steered me wrong before you've kept me safe and here i am but when you really want to break free of those limiting beliefs that's when you have to really just face that fear and tell it no thank you well

[Nicole Lan]

i can even feel and it's only been a year that like mean jenny has kind of taken a seat because when we were talking you had a lot of negative self talk about money

[Jennie Garth]

like not a little a lot no because you know what what happened i've gone through a couple of different phases like when i started out not knowing anything about money i never even thought about it it'll come it'll go who cares whatever i'm young i'm living my life then i started to get more scarce more that scarcity mindset of i'm responsible for these three girls and the mortgage and all the people that work for me and i started to be like oh i better hold on to things and what if i'm not going to make money enough money to buy them that again you know i started to really get more tight more worried about my finances and then the latest is that i've gone back to the original mindset because that felt much better for me and it actually brought more money in like when you start squeezing it squeezing the reins and pulling back and attaching to like what if and oh no that's when the flow stops and i and i know that sounds like okay woo woo la whatever but it's honestly the truth for me and now that i am back to yes i am managing my money well now i'm involved in all the conversations i'm running a business now and having success in that and really working with the numbers on on that on a daily basis like but still not worrying about it knowing that it will come and it will go just as it's supposed to it's so funny that you say

[Nicole Lan]

that the woo la part because i tend to not be super woo woo but i you want to understand all viewpoints i think when it comes to money there really is energy in money and so when you hoard it and like hold it really tight it doesn't come back around right and so i i believe that there is a lot of as woo as it does sound there's a lot of energy in money and the way that it moves it's

[Jennie Garth]

a powerful energy do you think some

[Nicole Lan]

of the negative self talk came from other people though because you've said that other people viewed you as being pound foolish pennywise and so maybe you took that on or like that oh for sure that was you were so empathetic that you like internalized that yeah i

[Jennie Garth]

i took on the oh you're pretty you don't need to worry about it i took on the yeah what's the one the pennywise pound foolish right i i took that on when i heard that from someone i also took on messages of like you're too emotional like you this isn't healthy you know and i also just decided to not believe that anymore it's very hard when you're receiving messages messages from people in your life that you trust and they have a big impact on you but once you kind of step out of that mindset and out of that experience of being told those things about yourself you're able to kind of defy those things look at them examine them and think is that absolutely true actually no it's

[Nicole Lan]

really not our last conversation you wanted me to sign books for your daughters yeah in what sense do you think being a mom and them seeing everything that you do like even my daughter's one and so she copies everything i do how do you think that impacts like your self talk around money because they even if you try to hide it i feel like they feel it or they know and that's how they

[Jennie Garth]

learn well it's definitely different one of my daughters is completely on her own independent in every aspect actually kind of two of them and then my nineteen year old is in college and you know still comes to me for money all the time and we talk about like figure out what your priorities are and focus on you know think about your monthly budget and i'm really trying to to set her up for success although i'm very weak when it comes to to saying no to you know she wants to get her nails done or whatever she knows her her father's probably not going to say oh sure here's some money for that because he just doesn't get it and so i'm the one that's usually you know venmoing apple paying all day long with that one but still trying to teach her and trying to have her get a part time job so she can feel that independence because it's very important i remember before i was an actress i had you know starting with walking the bean fields i worked as a secretary in a real estate office i worked as a waitress in a restaurant and that building of that independent mindset of like i can take care of myself if if i need to is such a important thing for women to feel

[Nicole Lan]

yeah and i think just well teach me how to be a girl mom if you can yeah it never stops

[Jennie Garth]

you said that she's always watching you and ye yeah they do that she's

[Nicole Lan]

just like she's fifteen months old and i go and she goes right and then you just extrapolate that as they grow yeah they watch you spending or hoarding or hiding purchases or you know whatever else and then that becomes their habit and so i saw something recently probably on instagram it was like a meme that was like you would kill for your kids or die for your kids in a lot of senses but would you live for them or would you change your habits for them i was like that hit yeah i've never

[Jennie Garth]

been one to spend my money frivolously on fancy handbags or high end label clothing i am those things just have never been important to me i think because i've always realized that i am the cornerstone of what's holding this household up and i don't need certain things you know i just don't need that and i would rather save that money i spend my money when it comes to our home and keeping it nice and you know up to date and all those things i'm much more prone to spending my money on like some plants landscaping or it's so expensive though like everything there's a big sales happening right now though people spring spring sales

[Nicole Lan]

for plants just like your plants plant lovers but i do want to thank you because when i was on your your show you asked me for a recommendation for a financial advisor wealth management because that's naturally like the number one question that you would ask when we're talking about this stuff and you wanted to help your audience understand how they could get help the first step to any recovery is admitting you have a problem especially around wealth and i gave a recommendation but i went back and that recommendation didn't feel right to me so i asked your producers to take that part out but it actually inspired me to start my own advisory firm i love my own wealth management private wealth collective because the the recommendation i gave you just like didn't sit well in my heart it wasn't the way i wanted to do business it felt really jargony and gatekeeping very male and like intimidating in a way that when i was first starting out would have made me too scared to join the conversation so i wanted to do it differently and that is so excited by

[Jennie Garth]

our conversation oh my gosh what's it

[Nicole Lan]

called what's your private wealth collective private wealth tell the girls i will bring them over no it's so true because

[Jennie Garth]

no oh my gosh okay when i have a money management meeting my the three men come over in suits and i'm always like oh okay guys thanks for dressing up i'm sitting here in my jeans but they do it's intimidating but i don't let it intimidate me anymore because for so many years agents would come to the sets like periodically to visit their clients or whatever and we would go oh the suits are here yeah and so now whenever i see a man in a suit it just kind of makes me laugh i don't know why but there's something about it such a posturing situation happening that i i just kind of let it go now but it is intimidating when three suits are sitting across from you saying words you really don't understand fully and showing you charts and all the numbers and the graphs and the things it's a lot but like you are

[Nicole Lan]

so crazy smart jenny and you have built so much money and wealth and career and i have seen in your memoir you have lived many lives you have figured out so many harder things than whatever is on those charts i know you and that's the thing you really have like it's true i know that like it feels that way because it can be intimidating but damn you have just seen so much more and

[Jennie Garth]

been through so much more yeah so much harder i feel i feel like a definite shift in my mindset that about being a businesswoman now and being just confident in that and if i don't understand something i'll ask a question

[Nicole Lan]

yeah because you're like i'm a smart person if i don't get it tell

[Jennie Garth]

me say it in a different way that i can yeah obsessed so glad

[Nicole Lan]

you also asked me when was the right time to start talking about money in your relationship yes when did you and your husband dave start talking about

[Jennie Garth]

money it's interesting we come from very different backgrounds as far as our relationships with money i am is he like an abundance guy he is a make it spend it guy he is a live your life guy you know he's a put it on the credit card guy and i am not like that as much it was so interesting because when we got together that was when like right in the middle of my like starting to grip again because i would see him being so free with his money and didn't feel right to me so i started to really hold my money closer we've never joined our finances we have you know we spend equally on things and we we just we we still have things separate and i don't know when i'll feel comfortable doing that joint thing or if i ever will honestly because i've worked so on my own since the very beginning you know i love providing for people i love treating people so we divvy up things in our house on a level that makes sense for each of our incomes and there's no you know

[Nicole Lan]

worries about it so like one person pays for this bill one person pays for that like who pays when you guys go out to dinner we alternate

[Jennie Garth]

usually or we have a we have one card that's both of our cards that we kind of use for when we're together and we both pay into that so i don't i honestly don't think about it like whenever i whenever i go to dinner with anyone i accept the bill like on it's my default because that's the way it's always been and i when i do go to dinner with somebody even him and they take the bill and pay it i'm like thank you wow that feels so cool to you know because i'm so used to you your friends come everybody have let's all have dinner together and i'll pay for it but you know that's a lot of money these days so when someone pays for my lunch or my dinner i get really

[Nicole Lan]

excited it's exciting well in your book you talk about how you bought your first husband a lot of things like cars and motorcycles yes probably more yeah

[Jennie Garth]

a music studio that's a lot of

[Nicole Lan]

stuff jenny yeah and you did that because you thought he would love you

[Jennie Garth]

more probably yeah i did that because i'm a generous person in my heart and if i have money i want everybody around me to be happy and comfortable i love that about me but i learned that gift giving needs to be a little more intentional maybe a little more selective and you know he walked away with the things that he walked away with and i never thought again about it because what's the point

[Nicole Lan]

until my work time came around until memoir time came around yeah yeah no

[Jennie Garth]

and just reflecting on how you i've changed you know and i i mean my husband and i joke he's like man i wish i was husband number one because i would have a har and a defender i'll we make fun of it but i'm like yeah i'm much more sensible now sorry so did

[Nicole Lan]

you have to actively unlearn that money can't buy love

[Jennie Garth]

yes in in that situation it it was proven that that you know isn't the answer and in other relationships i've always been independent so i i've never been in the position of what do you call like when someone else is the breadwinner and i don't know i i've never been in that situation i've never been in the situation of accepting any kind of like post divorce payments or alimony whatever child support any of that i've always paid for everything that i need or my children need and their their dad also steps in and pays for what he thinks they need so you know i i'd rather rather than have conflict about money i just try to not hold on tight to anything and i but i am much more sensible and more protective of the wealth that i have created because i see how hard i've had to work to get here and i want to have something to leave for my girls when i'm gone and you you know one of the things about life you never know when it's your time to go and i want to be prepared so that they are taken care of after i go yeah

[Nicole Lan]

so you always been the breadwinner and it sounds like you've always taken care of other people

[Jennie Garth]

i was not the breadwinner in my second marriage we were both both bringing in money making bread to the household we were both making

[Nicole Lan]

bread yeah but i think i never

[Jennie Garth]

really thought of that it's the bread here's two things that are silly and funny one is you just made me think the breadwinner and money's called bread i honestly thought it meant like putting food on the table breadwinner both can be true the other one is making ends meet that's an expression that people would always throw around and i was like why do you want to make meat i was like i don't get it and then finally i was like okay mend the ends need to meet that's silly things it is and all

[Nicole Lan]

the cliches are weird speaking of cliches i have a new game called secure the bag if you don't mind i would love to play with you okay you pick a question okay and we can answer them together you can also pass there's really we're making up the

[Jennie Garth]

rules as we go okay i'm gonna pull one out you can phone a friend let me put on my glasses here what's something you believed about money that you've had to unlearn i think it goes back to the scarcity i think that's one of the biggest things for me was learning that when i'm living in scarcity mindset about finances it gets more and more scarce like i'm i'm like we talked about i'm suffocating the flow the energy of it so i i've had to let that go and relinquish that concern that constant worry because it doesn't help me yeah you

[Nicole Lan]

saw it become a self fulfilling prophecy

[Jennie Garth]

yeah i hate those by the way i know but they they i mean they can be really great but usually they're not they're they're not you know spoken of in a positive way do i pull another good what do you

[Nicole Lan]

mean that the abundance could be a self fulfilling prophecy exactly like a positive

[Jennie Garth]

let's bring but isn't it usually like

[Nicole Lan]

it usually has like a negative connotation but let's bring on the positive positive positive abundance brings on abundance oh my

[Jennie Garth]

gosh when you step into like telling yourself what it is that you want in life it will come to you like when you can man imagine yourself i mean it's so much more than manifestation it's actually living into the life that you want ultimately and i know people talk about that but it's really true it's like when you stop holding yourself back whatever it is a dream something you want to create from the ground up when you stop telling yourself you can't do it you're other people are doing it you have no right to be doing it when you stop that ridiculous conversation in your head it opens up the new conversation for why not me what if i i like to say now something that's very new for me is the sky's the limit there's i've always kind of felt like there's nothing you can't do but at this age in my life i really truly believe that there's nothing i can't do there's nothing i can't survive and living like that just creates a more of a fearless you know approach to

[Nicole Lan]

things yeah yeah and now we're all up in space so like it's beyond the skies let's go to mars and the moon i'm good right here with

[Jennie Garth]

my feet planted on the beautiful grass in california love it okay next positive

[Nicole Lan]

self fulfilling prophecies yes okay positive self

[Jennie Garth]

fulfilling abundance is the best one you can abundance in anything yeah and alignment live just tell yourself living in alignment is the most important thing to you and it all falls into place so

[Nicole Lan]

you we were talking about this right before we were starting i became a mother at forty forty forty i was almost forty one you became a mother at twenty four what would you tell me as a new mom i would

[Jennie Garth]

tell you to remember to take care of yourself and that just sort of like encompasses the whole concept of my book and my podcast my clothing brand is to just remember that yes we are caregivers and that's our job to keep little people alive and we love it so much it's you know that natural maternal instinct but we need to remember to turn that love back onto ourselves and make sure that that's a priority you know whether it means taking a nice hot bath at the end of a day instead of making dinner let your husband order in something or let your friend take care of dinner for that night you know just little things that you can do to stay in touch with how important you are

[Nicole Lan]

to this whole process amen and to end i'm going to ask you the same question that you asked asked me on your show what was your last i choose me moment i think my

[Jennie Garth]

last i choose me moment is kind of like an ongoing thing i have a new puppy and who is here yes she's here her name's dottie i have three other dogs too they're very jealous but i choose to bring her with me wherever i go because i feel a certain sense of ease when i have my puppy with me and i think it goes back to my love of being a mom of a caregiver and it's so reciprocal that kind of love that unconditional love that you have with your kids or you have with your doggy kids you know and there's just something so like blood pressure regulating for me to have nervous system whether they're calming me or i'm calming them it doesn't matter it's we're we're taking calming each other yeah so my last i choose me moment is bringing

[Nicole Lan]

my dog today and i'm so glad you did honestly you you chose me too in that process you have to hold her she's so our whole team