"Should I Sell My House To Be More Financially Free?" (Listener Intervention)

Summary

Podcast Summary: "Should I Sell My House To Be More Financially Free?" (Listener Intervention)

Money Rehab with Nicole Lapin Episode dives deep into a listener’s financial dilemma about whether to sell her newly purchased home to achieve greater financial freedom. Hosted by financial expert Nicole Lapin, this episode provides valuable insights into managing homeownership costs and aligning financial decisions with personal values.

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Introduction to Chelsea's Financial Situation

Nicole Lapin [02:47]:
“One of my favorite things to do on this show is to talk to you, my Money Rehabbers. So I am beyond excited today to do exactly that.”

Chelsea, a listener, reaches out to Nicole with her pressing question: “Should I sell my new house and downgrade to have more financial freedom?” This episode breaks down her financial details to explore viable solutions.

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Detailed Breakdown of Chelsea’s Financials

Purchase and Mortgage Details

• Purchase Price: $769,000
  Chelsea [03:12]:
  “My question is, should I sell my new house and downgrade to have more financial freedom?”

• Down Payment: $135,000

• Interest Rate: 6.25% (with points purchased)

• Total Paid Off So Far: $169,000

• Monthly Mortgage Payment: Initially $4,250, escalating to approximately $4,700 once property taxes are fully assessed.

Income and Expenses

• Combined Take-Home Pay: ~$11,600
• Mortgage as Percentage of Income: 40%
• Other Monthly Expenses:
  • Vehicle Payments: $1,200
  • Daycare: $800
  • Student Loans: $800
  • Utilities, Insurance, Groceries, and Miscellaneous: Variable
• Credit Card Debt: $4,400 (statement balance, mostly paid off monthly)
• Emergency Fund: $26,000 in a CD (approximately three months of expenses)
• Retirement Savings:
  • Nicole: $64,000
  • Husband: $45,000

Chelsea [08:07]:
“And you both have consistent jobs and skills where you could get another job if, God forbid, you lost your jobs.”

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Motivations Behind Home Purchase

Chelsea emphasizes that the decision to purchase the home was driven by personal preferences rather than purely financial investment. The key factors included:

• Desired Location: Proximity to good schools and a community they wished to settle in long-term.
• Emotional Attachment: Desire to create a home for her family rather than viewing it solely as an investment.

Chelsea [08:32]:
“We bought a house this go around because this is where we want to live and this is the school district we want to be in.”

However, Chelsea reflects on the high number of offers (over 20) they made on other homes, often being outbid, which led them to settle for a more expensive option that stretched their budget.

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Challenges Faced Due to Overextension

Chelsea discusses how overextending financially has impacted her quality of life. The primary concerns include:

• Limited Financial Freedom:
  Chelsea [12:58]:
  “The mortgage is holding me back. It's affecting our ability to travel, invest in wellness, and maintain our desired lifestyle.”

• High Mortgage Payments:
  Nicole [12:03]:
  “Having a dream home near family, in great school districts, in a place that you want to be in for a long time is financial freedom. So do you feel like you're not able to do things that you want to do right now because of your mortgage?”

• Unaccounted Expenses:
  Chelsea had initially not factored in the costs of home upgrades and maintenance, which added an additional $45,000 over the year, translating to $3,750 monthly when amortized.

Chelsea [30:05]:
“Don't even say it. Yeah, it's a lot.”

This revelation made Chelsea realize the true cost of homeownership was significantly higher than anticipated.

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Emotional and Psychological Factors

Both Nicole and Chelsea touch upon the emotional aspects influencing Chelsea’s decision-making:

• Family Background:
  Chelsea shares her and her husband’s experiences growing up in families that struggled with financial management, leading to a heightened sense of financial caution.

  Chelsea [22:43]:
  “My husband and I both come from families that were terrible at managing money... just putting ourselves in a bad spot ever.”

• Desire for Stability vs. Financial Flexibility:
  Chelsea grappled with balancing the emotional desire to stay in a preferred community against the financial strain it imposes.

  Chelsea [21:46]:
  “I feel like having a home will give you safety... but I'm not seeing that it’s providing the security I wanted.”

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Nicole’s Guidance and Recommendations

Nicole provides Chelsea with a strategic approach to navigate her dilemma:

1. Evaluate True Costs:

   • Incorporate all hidden expenses like maintenance, upgrades, and potential repairs.
   • Nicole [33:32]:
     “Factor in the real cost of homeownership, including upgrades, maintenance, and unexpected expenses.”

2. Explore Housing Market Options:

   • Consider downgrading within the same area to maintain the desired community while reducing financial strain.
   • Chelsea [19:08]:
     “I would definitely want to be in the same area for now.”

3. Assess Long-Term Financial Goals and Emotional Well-being:

   • Determine what aspects of life are being compromised due to high mortgage payments.
   • Align financial decisions with personal values and quality of life aspirations.
   • Nicole [20:28]:
     “Money without meaning is just paper. What meaning does that have for you?”

4. Consider Potential Future Income Increases:

   • Chelsea mentions upcoming opportunities that could enhance their financial stability in the next few years.
   • Chelsea [21:46]:
     “I have potential for a new opportunity that would give us more financial freedom in the next three to four years.”

5. Take Time to Make an Informed Decision:

   • Utilize the remaining time before potential resale penalties (e.g., capital gains taxes after two years in Minnesota) to explore options and make a well-informed choice.
   • Chelsea [22:40]:
     “I think you have another year to really think about whether or not you would want to make a change.”

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Final Reflections and Emotional Reassurance

The conversation concludes with Chelsea feeling more clarity and less pressured about her situation. Nicole reassures her that she’s making a thoughtful decision based on both financial and personal well-being.

Chelsea [39:37]:
“I feel better now that I've even just like said it out loud and laid it on the table.”

Nicole [40:02]:
“You're thinking about it realistically... which is awesome.”

Chelsea decides to take a pause, reassess her situation, and explore her options without making immediate drastic changes.

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Key Takeaways

• Holistic Financial Assessment: Always consider all aspects of homeownership, including hidden costs like maintenance and upgrades.
• Balance Between Financial Goals and Personal Well-being: Financial decisions should align with one’s lifestyle and happiness.
• Emotional Influences: Past financial experiences can significantly impact current financial decisions; awareness and understanding are crucial.
• Strategic Planning: Take time to explore all options, consider future financial opportunities, and make informed choices that balance both meaning and money.

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Notable Quotes:

• Nicole Lapin [33:34]:
  “Your real cost versus the upgrades, maintenance, the unexpected stuff... that's causing more stress.”

• Chelsea [12:58]:
  “The mortgage is holding me back from travel and overall wellness.”

• Nicole Lapin [25:06]:
  “Money without meaning is just paper. What meaning does that have for you?”

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This episode serves as a comprehensive guide for homeowners grappling with similar financial pressures, emphasizing the importance of aligning financial decisions with personal values and long-term well-being.

Transcript

[Nicole Lapin]

One of the most stressful periods of my life was when I was in credit card debt. I got to a point where I just knew that I had to get it under control for my financial future and also for my mental health. We've all hit a point where we've realized it was time to make some serious money moves. So take control of your finances by using a CHIME checking account with features like no maintenance fees, fee free overdraft up to $200, or getting paid up to two days early with direct deposit. Learn [e-mail] MNN when you check out Chime, you'll see that you can overdraft up to $200 with no fees. If you're an OG listener, you know about my infamous $35 overdraft fee that I got from buying a $7 latte and how I am still very fired up about it. If I had CHIME back then, that wouldn't even be a story. Make your fall finances a little greener by working toward your financial goals with Chime. Open your account in just two minutes at Chime.com MNN that's Chime.com/Chime feels like progress. Banking services and Debit card provided by The Bancorp Bank NA or Stride Bank NA members, FDIC SpotMe eligibility requirements and overdraft limits apply. Booths are available to eligible CHIME members enrolled in SpotMe and are subject to monthly limits. Terms and conditions apply. Go to chime.com disclosures for details. I love hosting on Airbnb. It's a great way to bring in some extra cash, but I totally get it that it might sound overwhelming to start or even too complicated if, say, you want to put your summer home in Maine on Airbnb but you live full time in San Francisco and you can't go to Maine every time you need to change sheets for your guests or something like that. If thoughts like these have been holding you back, I have great news for you. Airbnb has launched a Co Host Network, which is a network of high quality local co hosts with Airbnb experience that can take care of your home and your guests. Co hosts can do what you don't have time for, like managing your reservations, messaging your guests, giving support at the property, or even create your listing for you. I always want to line up a.

[Chelsea]

Reservation for my house when I'm traveling.

[Nicole Lapin]

For work, but sometimes I just don't get around to it because getting ready to travel always feels like a scramble so I don't end up making time to make my House look guest friendly.

[Chelsea]

I guess that's the best way to put it.

[Nicole Lapin]

But I'm matching with a co host, so I can still make that extra cash while also making it easy on myself. Find a co [e-mail] host. I'm Nicole Lapin, the only financial expert. You don't need a dictionary to understand. It's time for some Money Rehab. One of my absolute favorite things to do on this show is to talk to you, my Money Rehabbers. So I am beyond excited today to do exactly that. You're about to hear a conversation I had with money rehabber Chelsea, who DM to me asking, should I sell my dream home to give myself and my husband more financial freedom? With the state of the real estate.

[Chelsea]

Market right now, I know Chelsea is.

[Nicole Lapin]

Not the only one thinking this, so I'm taking you behind the scenes into what I told her. And spoiler alert, we have a major breakthrough here. Here's our conversation.

[Chelsea]

Chelsea, welcome to Money Rehab.

Hi, Nicole. Thanks so much for having me. I'm so excited to be here.

I'm so excited that you're here, and I know you have an important question that you want to tackle today together. Can you share that question with our listeners?

Of course. My question is, should I sell my new house and downgrade to have more financial freedom?

It is a beautiful question. So not only did I know that that was your question because, of course, you sent it to me before, but you also sent the purchase price of your house, photos of your house, your monthly expenses, and income spreadsheet with charts and graphs.

[Nicole Lapin]

I am obsessed with you, basically.

[Chelsea]

So thank you for doing all that.

[Nicole Lapin]

You went above and beyond.

[Chelsea]

Let's follow the money trail here. Let's follow the numbers trail. I have a bunch of questions, but first, uh, let's go over the purchase price of your house.

Yes. So we purchased this home a year ago for 769,000. It's a new home.

Okay. Happy house Iversary.

Yes, thank you.

April of 2023.

[Nicole Lapin]

Okay, cool.

[Chelsea]

And what was the down payment?

It was 135,000. And your interest rate? 6.25%, which we bought some points to get it there.

[Nicole Lapin]

Okay, cool.

[Chelsea]

And how much have you paid off so far?

So the total paid off is 169,000. So we've made some extra payments a couple of times. So.

Lovely. Toward the principal.

Yes.

[Nicole Lapin]

Cool.

[Chelsea]

Okay. And what is your monthly payment?

So it's currently $4,250, but since it's a new home, the taxes don't really Fully assess until June. So right now it's 4250, but when the taxes come up, it'll be around 4700.

Okay, so 4700 is inclusive of basically a pro rata share of what your yearly property taxes will be.

Yes.

[Nicole Lapin]

Cool.

[Chelsea]

I'm glad that you did that. Some people forget about property taxes and are like, damn it. And so you split 4700 roughly with your partner, right?

Yes.

Okay. And do you know approximately how much maintenance is going into the house? Or is that. Is the 4700 inclusive of maintenance as well as taxes?

Oh, gosh, no. There's nothing tied to maintenance that we pay on a, I guess a monthly basis. We haven't, you know, with it being new, knock on wood, we haven't had any real issues that's far. But I'm not sure what that. What that number would be.

Okay. But so far it hasn't been significant. I mean, those types of things unfortunately happen usually at the worst times.

Right.

Yeah. Something to just think about, factor in. So your combined income after taxes with your partner is 11,600 ish. Yeah.

Yes, yes, correct.

So your mortgage is 40% of your take home pay.

Correct.

Okay, can we go through a bigger checklist of your overall financial picture? Do you have an emergency fund?

Yes, we do have $26,000 in a CD right now.

[Nicole Lapin]

Okay.

[Chelsea]

And that is. It sounds like three months of expenses in the bank.

Yeah, I would say.

[Nicole Lapin]

Okay.

[Chelsea]

And you feel so.

I mean, for both of us. I feel good about it. I definitely, I mean, obviously always wishing that it's more, but I feel okay about it.

Okay. And you both have consistent jobs and skills where you could get another job if, God forbid, you lost your jobs.

Correct. Sweet.

What other expenses do you guys have right now?

So we have our vehicles, older vehicles. My husband says, well, he cares more about vehicles than I do. My car is almost paid off. I pay 550amonth for the vehicle itself. He pays around 650 for his truck. We have daycare that is around $800 a month. We have student loans that are around $800 a month. As far as other reoccurring things like home insurance, car insurance, obviously, utilities for the home, things like that. And then, you know, the basics of groceries and, you know, maintenance appointments for ourselves and all the fun stuff.

And do you have credit card debt?

Well, I checked this morning. We have like $4,400 in credit card debt right now.

Is that debt or is that just your statement balance?

The statement balance okay.

And you pay it off in full every month?

Mostly. Okay.

Are you saving for retirement?

Yes. We both have 401k programs, so I have an employer match of 8%, which is great. My husband has one of 4%, so we both contribute the matching amount.

Do you know approximately how much is in there?

I have about 64,000 and I think he has around 45,000. And how old are you guys? I am 33 and he is 32.

And do you have any other kind of debt?

Student debt is 45,000 for the two of us, but other than that, no.

And why did you buy a house?

Well, in the past, real estate has worked out for me personally. I've owned a couple of different homes in the last decade and was able to kind of like upgrade as I've owned the next house with the proceeds they got from the previous home. We bought a house this go around because this is where we want to live and this is the school district we want to be in. And I think we will be here for a long period of time. And so it just made sense for us. I go back and forth because I think about it, we were originally going to build a home and that would have required us to rent for a little while. And I don't know why, that just freaked me out. Like, no, we can't possibly rent and lose money. But I have been doing a ton of research in the last couple of years listening to you, and I'm a big fan of like, Ramit Sethi. So definitely changed my mindset in that capacity. But yeah, it's also, you know, I hate that it's like the thing to do. And I don't necessarily see it as a massive accomplishment as I used to, but we had been looking for a while, we wanted to be in this area. And it was a. It was, I guess, a rough market when we were looking. We bought this house specifically after we had made, I don't know, 20 some offers on other homes that just, you know, we were outbid or. And it was for stuff that I really didn't love, you know. So that just kind of bugged me that we were going back and forth like fighting so hard for these homes that just to me, I was like, I don't even like the place, so I don't care. They can have it. So, yeah, we looked at this one in the beginning of our search. It was a model home. And I like, we just looked at it as a joke, honestly. But at the end of the day, my husband was like the House is black on the outside. He's like, let's just get the black house. Let's just offer them what they want. Let's just do it. So we did, and here we are.

And why was it a joke in the beginning? Because of the color?

No, I love the color. Because of the cost.

Oh, because it was out of your budget. What were you. What range were you looking at or hoping for?

We were hoping to buy something around 600,000.

And I think when you refer to some of our episodes and Ramit's episodes, he and I both agree that, you know, what people don't often think about when they're buying a home is, you know, all the stuff that you don't get back. You know, the interest payments, the maintenance, the closing costs, the property taxes, all of the things that don't get factored into an equation. When you say, like, grandma bought a house for, you know, 50 grand and now it's, you know, 500 grand, you also don't factor in inflation and opportunity cost of what that, you know, 50 grand could have been doing in the stock market over that period of time. So. So is that essentially what you're referring to, like. Like a perspective that you hadn't heard before?

[Nicole Lapin]

A.B.

[Chelsea]

Absolutely, yes.

And so was the goal for buying a house because it sounds like you want to stay there for a while. Was it to make money? It sounds like you weren't even coming to it from that perspective at this point. It sounds like you wanted to nest your face off, live in that area, stay there for a long time. Right. So you weren't looking at this as like a quote, unquote investment. You were looking at it as a home for your family.

For, I would say, you know, there is that part of me that, you know, years down the road, we'll be able to sell it for X amount. But when that will be, or how the economy or market will be at that time, who knows? So, yes, I think by the time we decided to buy this house, it was just, love the house. We can make it work. So go for it.

Okay, so this is all really helpful, Chelsea. You want to know basically if you should have more financial freedom than you have right now, which I think is super interesting, because for some, having a dream home near family, in great school districts, in a place that you want to be in for a long time is financial freedom. So do you feel like you're not able to do things that you want to do right now because of your mortgage? Is it holding you back from doing something and what is that something?

Yeah, I think so. It's, you know, it's just kind of like moving into this beautiful home and it's not like it's super large by, by any means, but it's, I mean it's great, but it's not. I've lived in other, other homes that are not this nice and I had more money in the bank and it seemed like that time it was kind of just a little bit more of a relief. But the things that I want to do more of that I feel like the mortgage is holding me back. It's travel for sure. You know, my three year old has a passport. We want to make sure that he and we can see the world and travel a ton and then just like overall wellness. I wish I had more money for. I said the other day, like I just want to be financially stable enough where I can go to the chiropractor twice a week and not have to worry about what it costs. You know, seeing a personal trainer is on the top of the list. We eat grass fed, organic free range food which is very expensive and I just don't love having to worry about that. And so those are some of the things just overall quality of life, I think.

Well, I love that you can really, really articulate what financial freedom is for you because it's different for everyone. Going to the chiropractor twice a week without worrying about it and being able to order as much or buy at the grocery store as much. Grass fed, free range, organic, artisanal, like whatever meat you possibly can and can consume is a really, really helpful baseline. So it sounds like by paying the mortgage every month, 47ish hundred bucks, you know, I'd maybe round that up a little bit more because maintenance will happen. Where would you ideally like to be in order to feel comfortable enough to do the chiropractor, to do the traveling and to do all the, all the meets your heart desire.

Yeah, See and that's the thing, because the mortgage we moved from was half of what, less than half of what our is now. And I feel like even in that state we were stressing about money too.

[Nicole Lapin]

Hold onto your wallets. Money Rehab.

[Chelsea]

We'll be right back.

[Nicole Lapin]

One of the most stressful periods of my life was when I was in credit card debt. I got to a point where I just knew that I had to get it under control for my financial future and also for my mental health. We've all hit a point where we've realized it was time to make some serious money. Moves. So take control of your finances by using a CHIME checking account with features like no maintenance fees, fees fee free overdraft up to $200, or getting paid up to two days early with direct deposit. Learn more at Chime.com MNN when you check out Chime, you'll see that you can overdraft up to $200 with no fees. If you're an OG listener, you know about my infamous $35 overdraft fee that I got from buying a $7 latte and how I am still very fired up about it. If I had Chime back then, that wouldn't even be a story. Make your fall finances a little greener by working toward your financial goals with Chimera. Open your account in just two [e-mail] MNN that's chime.com MNN Chime feels like progress Banking services and debit card provided by the Bancorp Bank NA or StrideBank NA members FDIC SpotMe eligibility requirements and overdraft limits apply. Boosts are available to eligible CHIME members enrolled in SpotMe and are subject to monthly limits. Terms and conditions apply. Go to chime.com disclosures for for details. I love hosting on Airbnb. It's a great way to bring in some extra cash, but I totally get it that it might sound overwhelming to start or even too complicated. If, say, you want to put your summer home in Maine on Airbnb but you live full time in San Francisco and you can't go to Maine every time you need to change sheets for your guests or something like that. If thoughts like these have been holding you back, I have great news for you. Airbnb has launched a Co Host Network which is a network of high quality local co hosts with Airbnb experience that can take care of your home and your guests. Co hosts can do what you don't have time for, like managing your reservations, messaging your guests, giving support at the property, or even create your listing for you. I always want to line up a.

[Chelsea]

Reservation for my house when I'm traveling.

[Nicole Lapin]

For work, but sometimes I just don't get around to it because getting ready to travel always feels like a scramble so I don't end up making time to make my house look guest friendly.

[Chelsea]

I guess that's the best way to put it.

[Nicole Lapin]

But I'm matching with a co host so I can still make that extra cash while also making it easy on myself. Find a co [e-mail] host and now for some more money.

[Chelsea]

Rehab the mortgage we Moved from was half of what, less than half of what our is now. And I feel like even in that state, we were stressing about money too, and just, you know, not having. We didn't have a nest egg at that point. Of course, our careers have shifted a little bit, and we've gotten a few races over the last couple of years, but I think it was just a big jump. And I mean, ideally the mortgage would be around 3,000. Like, I think that's more reasonable. Like, if we round up and we say, okay, $5,000 a month, I feel like there's a. There's a knife in my heart, you know, like, it's just a big number to spend on housing, I think. So I think around that 3,000 would be great, you know, and we moved in here and we did account for, okay, we have a six and a quarter percent interest rate and there's potential for that going down over the years, but you never know. I mean, if it did go down a percent or two, that would be wonderful and that would ease a lot of the pain, but you never know with that.

So have you been already looking at other options? Do you think that you would want to downsize to another home you purchased or rent for a while? Would you want to be in the same area?

Yeah, I would definitely want to be in the same area for now. And I, you know, I had. I had been looking at a lot of different options in the area. And that's what sucks the most, is that, you know, you have, yes, there are really expensive, really nice houses, but then there are also really expensive, not so nice houses that are, you know, I feel like even if we were in that $500,000 range to get us to 3,000amonth, like, because that's probably as low as I would consider going just in terms of the quality of the house. But then even then, if I take, you know, all of the equity from this home and put it on that home, work through the numbers now of interest rates, it's like not that big of a difference in terms of monthly payment.

Yeah, it sounds like the process of going through buying and looking at 20 homes and feeling just like deflated, pushed you into this place that you feel as nice of a house as it is. You know, a house can never feel safe if it feels like a financial prison for whatever reason. And I say when. People will tell me that they feel like they need for childhood trauma reasons or whatever reasons, like, it doesn't matter to me if you feel like having a home will give you safety, that's as good a reason as any. Even though it doesn't make long term wealth generating sense across the board as some might think and default to as like their idea that we've been told and brainwashed that homeownership is the ticket to long term generational wealth. I mean there's just so many holes in that argument and I'm really glad that you are now seeing it from different angles. But you're also not telling me that you are feeling like this is something that's going to make your heart happy, maybe in the way that travel would. I mean I would for sure tell you if you couldn't afford this house, it's 40% of your take home pay. Ideally it'd be around like 35% but I think you can afford it. You're just cutting out things that really do make life worth living for you. Including the chiropractor, including the travel. You know, I told somebody to call off their wedding because they had too much debt. So I'm not scared to tell you what I really think about it, but I'm not sure if this home is providing that security that you had wanted and the experiences that you wanted.

Yeah, and I, I think that's true most of the time. I mean, and then I think about, you know, I may, I have potential for a new opportunity that would give us a lot more financial freedom in the next three to four years the way that it works out with the doc and bonus structure and things like that. So I just think of it as, you know, if three or four years from now we will be in like a much, you know, safer place financially then is it worth it to give it up? Because I do still. I love the house, I love the community, I love the neighborhood. Have to put in there the pain in the ass that moving is and finding a new place. Just about to say, I mean.

Yeah. Have you really thought through what that looks like?

Yeah, I mean I don't, I definitely don't want to do it if I don't have to. But again, you know, my, my husband and I both come from families that were terrible at managing money and we were both in situations where when we were in high school our parents lost their home due to just financial instability. And it's not, I mean financial stupidity is what it actually was like. There was no huge hardship, there just wasn't. They just weren't smart. So I think that we are just very cautious in a lot of the things that we do financially and just want to make sure that we're not putting ourselves in a bad spot ever.

Well, thank you for sharing that. I actually feel very similarly. I saw my house got foreclosed on as a kid, and I have never equated owning a home with financial freedom or safety because it wasn't for me. I would much rather personally have more money growing in the stock market over time and feeling like I have the ability to take out that money than having a pile of bricks or mortar or wood or whatever the fuck houses are made of. But that's personal. And I've had to do a lot of soul searching and, you know, asking myself hard questions. And so it sounds like you're getting to that place too. I think from a financial standpoint, you can afford this home. You're gonna probably make those other sacrifices. And I. This is not a cop out. I can't answer that for you. What's more important in your life? Because, Chelsea, I don't wake up in your life every day. You have to wake up in your life every day and you have to ask yourself, really, I think you're in a, in a good position where you have the true choice. You're not like doing this out of panic and fear. This is not a fire sale situation. You're doing it from a place of strength. You could go either way and make it work. You just have to really decide which path is going to make you most happy and most fulfilled. Look, money without meaning is just paper. I've said it many times. And so what meaning does that have for you? That's the biggest question. That's like time you get a bottle of wine, you, you know, look in the mirror.

Get in my.

Metaphorically or actually, I don't know, whatever you want to do and say, like, what is the life I want to live? Because at some point, right, the sins of the father or the mother are not bestowed on the son or the daughter. And so just because you saw it play out a certain way, sometimes we over react because we want something totally different. Or sometimes we follow in the same patterns as our parents because that's what we saw. And so it sounds like you and your husband saw, you know, similar behavior that I saw that was overextending for a home, ultimately losing the home. And so you wanted to be extra cautious. You have been cautious and you have been really responsible. So you've rightfully, kind of, maybe overcorrected even to a place where you now have the choice. So how are you feeling now that we've discussed those good Good.

I feel better now that we've, that I've even just like said it out loud and laid it on the table and you know, brought up the fact that I have this opportunity where we could be, you know, debt free, aside from the mortgage in less than a handful of years. And then also I feel comfortable in the spot that I'm in because you know, in Minnesota if you have to live in a home for, I don't know if this is how it is everywhere, you have to live in a home for two years, otherwise you have to pay capital gains on, you know, any proceeds that you make. So we have a year until the two year. And then also my son, you know, he's three and a half. So we have a year and a half until he would potentially start school somewhere so we wouldn't have to, you know, disrupt that him in any way in that position.

I think that you have another year to really think about whether or not you would want to make a change. You would probably do like a 1031 exchange like you did in the past, I'm assuming. So you would just roll that over to another home. Um, so maybe in the next year you take a look at some of the other houses in that 3K range and you're smart to really think through the interest rate and where you can get to that number every month that you feel good with. It sounds like you don't want to rent, but so for buying what where you could potentially move that would be in that range, just like take a look and see what's out there. And you know, I love housing porn. I look at it all the time for variety, variety of reasons. And sometimes like when you're unhappy with the job, you go on LinkedIn or another job site and you can just feel better knowing that you have something better than what's out there. So in order to really understand your values, take a look at the comp of the area and you, I don't know what you're going to find. You could either find a bunch of shitty options out there and you're like okay, well I got this out of my system. Or you could say wow, the, you know that there are great other options that I could be really happy with and I have decided that you know, my day to day lifestyle and being comfortable going to as much personal training and whatever else your husband wants to do is really important to us and that's cool. And like the. There are some great options. Maybe meet with a real estate agent. Do you work with one to see the state of the market in your area.

Yep, for sure. She's already called.

Oh, really? Like, what happened?

Three months. She called like three months ago and was. We were dealing with something which is a new build home. Sometimes things happen. Whatever. But she was like, oh, yeah, we could probably, you know, your house is at like 8.25Now, if you think, you know. But you know, we put on a deck and we put in fencing, and so that was another 45K. So I'm like, yeah, you didn't mention.

Okay, now I understand a little bit more why you're feeling the pain. Because your payments weren't, you know, $4,700 if you amortize what those upgrades were and put it into your monthly payment.

No, we paid cash for that.

Oh, I know, I know. But like, but you. So you're saying you put in $45,000 over the last year, correct?

Yeah. Yeah.

Okay, so over 12 months.

Yes.

So do you, so do you know how much that is a month?

No.

It'S $3,750. So. Plus $4,700. I mean, you're in essence paying on your house if you take what your upgrades have been. And that's why I was asking for maintenance, because maintenance, upgrades, all of the stuff that you put in the house, it's like a money pit. So you've actually, like, been paying if you take the upgrades and amortize it over your payments, like closer to $8,500 a month.

Don't even say it. Yeah, it's a lot.

That's why you're feeling the pain.

Yeah, I mean, we had, you know, like I said, I was. I'm somewhat comfortable with our emergency savings, but it was a hell of a lot more. $45,000 more. And that, I don't know. I think that doing these things, I don't know, in my mind were necessary, but it's still definitely a pain point.

Yeah. So interesting. And when I tell you that your actual home contributions were closer to 84, 8500 bucks a month if you divide 45 by 12 and added on to your monthly payments. Does. How does that make you feel?

Not great.

Are we unpacking a little bit more of, like, why you feel like this is such a money money pit? Because homeowners forget is like, you know, you, you, you left out a huge part of this. Right. You left out a huge home expense. That seems like once I discovered it or once you were telling me about your call with your realtor, I feel like I Hit on a nerve.

[Nicole Lapin]

Hold onto your wallets. Money rehab.

[Chelsea]

We'll be right back.

[Nicole Lapin]

And now for some more money rehab.

[Chelsea]

I feel like I hit on a nerve and like, you didn't even tell me. You told me like basically down to the dollar, what you have in all these different accounts. But that, that was a huge home expenditure.

Yeah. And I didn't think, I don't even, you know, I didn't even think about it. I think about it as much as, or in line with, I think about the down payment, you know, and we bought this house knowing that we would do these two things immediately, the deck and the fence. And so we took that money and the down payment money and put it aside. And then it was. That was that. So I kind of bucket that money in with like the down payment situation where that amount of money just giving it away or not giving it away, but purchasing something in one day, you know, then it's gone. It just makes you want to throw up.

I feel, I feel your pain now. So I understand why you're feeling stressed. You're feeling stretched because you overextended. You wanted a $600,000 home. You were mentally prepared for that. You probably, if you would have called me a year ago, I probably would have told you to like hang out without your deck and fence for a minute, like get comfortable with this higher payment. Because you, you know, overextended, you were exhausted by the search. You put in a bunch of offers, you went with the black house. It was more than your budget. But then you added 45 extra thousand dollars in cash into it. And so now you're feeling extra stretched.

Yes, for sure.

It's an investment, like if it's a long term investment, potentially that could, you could get back or not, or you could have beautiful memories on your dec. Like I don't know what you do with a fence hanging. Your three year old hanging on a fence. And you'll have, you know, pictures forever. And, and those are important and valuable and maybe priceless too.

Yeah.

But I would just, I would just factor in the real cost of the homeownership. And that includes upgrades, maintenance, the unexpected stuff.

Yeah, about.

Yeah. Your real cost versus and because I was so proud of you, I was so excited that you came and you were like, this is including, you know, what a amortized amount of property taxes is for a year. Like, because oftentimes people will say, well, here's my payment, but not include maintenance, upgrades, property taxes, and those add up. So I would just go back, think about what that real number is, and see if you're comfortable with that. And then see what the other options are in the area and see if you are, you know, if maybe the grass is greener. I hate cliches, but, like, I don't know, is the grass greener or not? I have no idea. And neither do you yet.

Right. And then adding in anything that we potentially want to do to this current house, and it's not like. I mean. I mean, not that it's.

It never ends, Chelsea.

It never ends because I'm like, you.

Know, so what else do you guys want to do?

Well, I want to do. My husband could. Could care less. Could not care less. But I mean, I'm in my office right now and there's white walls and white doors and white windows and white carpet. And I'm just like, bleh. No, I know.

I did find it a little suspicious when you joined Zoom and you used a digital background of another house and didn't use your house.

No. Right. Seriously, my office is like the. It's the most plain area and I work remote a ton, so I'm like, what can I do in. I mean, I know what I want to do, but it's just not in the cards right now, is it?

Not in the cards. Okay, so it sounds like you're there for a year. Get comfortable with that. My recommendation is price out what these upgrades are. Like, get really clear about what they are. I mean, is it a can of paint at Home Depot and, like, you know, some. Some of the. Whatever. I don't. I'm terrible at painting the blue tape stuff. Like, is that you?

I can't. I can't do that. No, I'm. I'm so bad. Like, I would mess it up royally.

I mean, great, great self awareness. You and me both. Okay, so, like, price out what those upgrades are. You know, divide those by. Divide that lump sum by 12, add that onto your existing payments. See what that is.

Yeah, I already know what that is. I gotta. I had someone come and just price out everything. Oh, now it's all coming out.

Chelsea, 45 minutes later.

We get to.

Pull this out of you. Okay.

What is it? Yeah, it's another 40,000.

Oh, my God.

But it's not.

It's.

It's not like it's gonna happen. Like, I just want to know how much is this going to be if I were to do these things that I want to do to these spaces?

Okay, well, what I'm going to tell you is no.

[Nicole Lapin]

Yeah, no, like, stay in the house.

[Chelsea]

You'Re going to have shit that breaks and goes down that's unexpected, even if it's a new build. And oftentimes with new builds, they like, you know, cut corners and make it look really nice from the outside, but it's like really crappy, whatever that breaks. And you know what, I don't know, the faucets and the fixtures and this and the that. So like, just assume you're going to have some of that happen this year. Yeah. So why don't you just spend the rest of the year, first of all sort of dating other opportunities, just like going around to go doing a little house dating. And also just see if you feel comfortable with like the baseline of what your mortgage is without another 40, $45,000. By the way, like, it's always overtime over budget for any, you know, you wanted to build a house, but any home improvement stuff is always, stuff always goes wrong. And like, it will probably be closer to $45,000 at bed. Right. So you're doing a whole other big thing that's adding to this pain that's making you feel so strapped. So why don't we just not do that and stay in the house that you can't afford if you don't add all these tens of thousands of dollars extra.

Yes. Yeah, I think that's fair. Yeah, I got that quote months ago and I was like, I'll just put it away because that's not going to happen.

Or like DIY face off.

I don't know.

Or like, maybe there's another option.

Yeah, I'll have to look into it.

I would tell you because like the girl that I told or the woman that I told to cancel her wedding, I was like, hey, next time I'm in your area, like, we could for sure I'll go to Michael's, we'll get party favor is like, I'll throw you a backyard party. You don't need all the fancy stuff that you're planning. I, you know, so I'm inclined to be like, next time I'm in Minneapolis, I'll grab my overalls. But like, I'm not, I'm not going.

No. And I listened to that episode and I will say I spent $1,000 on my wedding. So you.

I love that. No, listen, I'm not here to like rain on your parade. I think travel and chiropractors and grass fed meat, all that stuff is important. And I'm like not here to hoopoo on fancy party favors and wedding dresses and whatever else, but like, keep it real. Yeah, I mean, keep it real with yourself. Like, understand what this money pit is and understand, like, how that's all adding up and that's causing more stress.

Yeah, for sure. That makes a lot of sense. I never would have thought of the 45k paid out monthly, but.

Yeah.

[Nicole Lapin]

Or take that.

[Chelsea]

Or take that budget because you. You paid it last year. Take some of that and. And get yourself a freaking chiropractor.

I do have one. I just don't go as much as I would like.

Maybe the chiropractor can help you with some paint.

She can. She can.

All right, well, how are you feeling now?

Good. Yeah, I feel okay. I'm gonna do. I'm not gonna worry about it. I mean, like you said, I appreciate you saying that you would tell me if you thought I was batshit crazy and should get the hell out of this mortgage asap, but that's not the case. And I think that I knew that. Is that reassurance? And yeah. Yeah.

You're thinking about it realistically. You're not saying to me, like, oh, my gosh, I'm going to be in this house and putting all these upgrades in and we're going to flip it for, you know, 2 million bucks like that. Some people think that they're going to, you know, do that and be a home filiper and make tons of money, and you're not coming to it from that standpoint. And I think you're. You're really realistic about that, which is awesome. I just think for the next year, get some more clarity and then come back.

[Nicole Lapin]

We'll be here.

[Chelsea]

We're always here.

All right, sounds good. That sounds like a plan. I will keep you posted. I'm going to. I'm going to chill for a while, but then I'll keep you posted.

And next time I want to see your, like, this really nice house that you bought. Like, next time, no fake background.

Okay, that sounds good. I can do that.

[Nicole Lapin]

Money Rehab is a production of Money News Network. I'm your host, Nicole Lapin. Money Rehab's executive producer is Morgan Lavoie. Our researcher is Emily Holmes. Do you need some money Rehab? And let's be honest, we all do. So email us your money questions moneyrehaboneynewsnetwork.com to potentially have your questions answered on the show or even have a one on one intervention with me. And follow us on Instagram @moneynews and TikTok MoneyNews Network for exclusive video content. And lastly, thank you. No, seriously, thank you. Thank you for listening and for investing in yourself, which is the most important investment you can make.