← Money Rehab with Nicole Lapin
Money Rehab with Nicole Lapin
What Jessica Szohr Learned About of Wealth in Gossip Girl and the Money Trail of Entertainment
00:48:15
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- [00:00]
Nicole Lapin
You know what I'm really over?
- [00:02]
Jessica Zor
Fees.
- [00:03]
Nicole Lapin
Concert ticket fees, cleaning fees on weekend rentals, a processing fee for existing. It is endless. And the worst part? These fees hit hardest when you're already trying to get ahead. Fees are everywhere and they hurt you most when you're down. That's why Chime offers fee free banking, which means no monthly fees, no overdraft fees and no minimum balance fees. I once got hit with a $15 maintenance fee just because my account dipped below the minimum bal for a single day. I wasn't overspending. I was just timing my rent payments around payday. That fee felt like a big penalty just for budgeting. But with Chime, I wouldn't have gotten charged for not being rich yet. No minimum balances, no hidden fees, just breathing room when I actually would have needed it. It is so simple. Banking should not cost you money. And with Chime, it doesn't open your account in 2 minutes@chime.com mnn that's chime.com mnn as in chime feels like progress. Chime is a financial technology company, not a bank. Banking services and debit card provided by the Bancor Bank NA or Stride Bank NA members, FDIC spot and eligibility requirements and overdraft limits apply. Timing depends on submission of payment file. Fees apply at out of network ATMs. Bank ranking and number of ATMs according to US News and World Report. 2023 Chime checking account required. I'm Nicole Lapin, the only financial expert you don't need a dictionary to understand it's time for some money rehab. Hey Upper East Siders, Money Girl here spotted Vanessa Abrams all grown up. Only off screen she goes by Jessica Zor and trust me, her story is just as compelling. Okay, that was my best Kristen Bell impression. I also didn't know she was the voice of Gossip Girl for so long when I found out I was shooketh. But anyway, I did not land that at all. But I tried. And that's okay if you have no idea what I'm talking about. You probably don't know Gossip Girl lore, but you still still know our guest today, actress Jessica Zor. Because if you didn't see her in Gossip Girl, you definitely saw her in the Orville, Shameless, Twin Peaks or any of the other dozens of credits on her very well stacked IMDb page. But what you do not know are the lessons that Jessica has learned about money throughout her career. And you don't know this because she has never actually talked about them publicly before. But today she really opens up, we talk about her earliest money memories, like how it felt to book major six figure modeling jobs before most of us had a checking account. We get into some real stuff, advocating for yourself financially, how much or how little. Actors talk about pay. And yes, we talk about Gossip Girl. We unpack how money was a main character of the show, what it taught her about wealth and status early on, and some real behind the scenes stuff, like what Leighton Meester texted her when the series took off, the crazy way she was discovered for this role, and why she had to hire a bodyguard. She also breaks down when we talk about her co star, Michelle Trachtenberg, who tragically died earlier this year. Jessica was so open, so generous and so honest in this conversation about her career, about motherhood and what she's learned the hard way. I really felt like I got a little bit of her light just by hearing her talk and I hope you feel the same way. Xoxo. Here's Jessica. Jessica Zor. Welcome to money Rehab.
- [03:29]
Jessica Zor
I just, I love what you do. I love that you're a new mom and yeah, all the things. How is motherhood going for you?
- [03:37]
Nicole Lapin
It's, it's going.
- [03:38]
Jessica Zor
She's six months, right?
- [03:40]
Nicole Lapin
She's six months.
- [03:41]
Jessica Zor
Yeah.
- [03:42]
Nicole Lapin
It's a work in progress. I have no idea what I'm doing, but like, we don't know what we're doing in many areas of our lives.
- [03:49]
Jessica Zor
Yeah. With Bowie, I remember my grandma once was like, just look around. Everyone had, you know, we all got through it. And it's true, like you just learned, but it is like wild when you think about it. Like you grew this human and then this beautiful human that you can never express. The amount of love you have, this, this amount of love, it's just like the craziest thing. And then you're just like going with it. You have to make sure this little beautiful human is eating, sleeping, staying alive, laughing. I mean, it's, it's, it's like one day you're not a mom and the next day you are and you're just like thrown into it. It's so crazy.
- [04:26]
Nicole Lapin
Again, I know I was going to be somebody's mama. And it's interesting because I think a lot about it brings up a lot of memories of how I was raised and especially my relationship with money. Like, I've never thought, I mean, I thought about money for the last 20 years and how to talk about it and how to talk about financial literacy and make it accessible and all these things, but I never really like, dug in and I Have a lot of financial drama. But I never dug into like how I was spoken to about money and then how I want to change that for, for my own daughter. You know, if I heard we can't afford that, you know, growing up, did that affect how I looked at scarcity or abundance? Like, did that affect my mindset about money? Did that affect how my confidence was later on in my career? Like, how do I want to talk about money when my daughter can talk? Because she cannot talk. She. But let's go back to the beginning of your money memories. I mean, I know that your daughter's 4. You're probably thinking about this type of stuff with her too. Like, what's your earliest memory of money growing up?
- [05:31]
Jessica Zor
Oh, yeah. Okay. So my, my dad was a spender and my mom was super frugal. Super frugal to the point where sometimes I'm like, well, maybe that was just being cheap. They were very like on one end. Totally one end to the other. My dad would, we'd come home from like a soccer game or something and he would have like speakers being delivered with like these huge screen tv' and like all these like gadgets and all these things. And my mom would be like, we don't need this. This is so expensive. What are you doing? We need to save for this and save for that.
- [06:01]
Nicole Lapin
So you ended up somewhere in the middle.
- [06:03]
Jessica Zor
I ended up somewhere in the middle. I'm a little bit. Brad's definitely helped me like tighten my spending. And I think Brad has a really good take on money. View on money. He goes and talks to his business manager once a week. That was something. I was like, what? What? And he's like, you need to be on top of that, going in, checking monthly, if not weekly. And I also think a big thing that Brad taught me too is like, just because you're paying someone to help with your money doesn't mean like you still need to overlook all of that. Like they can be helping you, but like you need to make sure that like your money is constantly making you money. Like, just cause you're paying them doesn't mean that they're putting it all where it needs to be. You know what I mean? So I think that was, by the.
- [06:49]
Nicole Lapin
Way, with marriage too. So like, I don't know how you guys split up the expenses or the savings or the investing. But like, if somebody does it, that doesn't mean that the other person shouldn't know what's going on.
- [07:01]
Jessica Zor
Oh, 100%. Yeah, totally. But he's really taught me A lot in that. Because when I moved to LA at 18, I left and I was just like an independent woman, only having to worry about, like, my rent or when I bought my first place or pay my bills or do my investment. So when I. We became up a team, it opened my eyes to a lot of. A lot of things.
- [07:23]
Nicole Lapin
Yeah, but I'm sure you taught him stuff, too. I mean, sister, you were modeling when you were a kid, you were acting. You had a ton of big jobs with huge companies, national commercials, you know, modeling for JanSport and Kohl's and Mountain Dew. Right. I mean, you started working so early on. And I'm always so fascinated with child actors who have a business manager, because kids don't have business managers. If you're not in this industry, like, how does that change?
- [07:48]
Jessica Zor
Yeah.
- [07:49]
Nicole Lapin
Relationship that early on with work and money and the value of it.
- [07:54]
Jessica Zor
I remember because I started modeling when I was like, five in Milwaukee. I was with an agency, Arleigh Molson's there. And then when I was 10, moved to the Chicago agency. And I remember having to, like, join the union at 10 and things with taxes. But I was so young that I didn't really know what was going on. I remember when I moved to LA at 18, I was like, oh, my God, I gotta file for taxes. Like, I have to do this all on my own now. Like, my mom's not here.
- [08:18]
Nicole Lapin
Did your mom keep your money in a bank account for you?
- [08:21]
Jessica Zor
They had a bank account for me that was saved with all, like, the modeling and commercial money that I made because they want. They didn't want me to have to take out a loan for school. And then I didn't end up going to school. I moved to la. But what was nice is I didn't have to move there and become a waiter right away to pay for my headshots and stuff. I was able to kind of take acting classes and focus on that, which was really nice. And I didn't really realize how special that was and how unique that was until I got there. I'm like, oh, my God. These people are like, there's millions of people here trying to do it. You know, tons of people having to work three, four jobs and still try to make their auditions during the day. So I was very blessed that I. I was able to move with money in my account to Los Angeles. Yeah.
- [09:03]
Nicole Lapin
So she kept it for you and sort of gave you an allowance of sorts.
- [09:07]
Jessica Zor
And then when I kind of like early 20s, it was kind of just turned over into my name and I didn't get a business manager until I booked Gossip Girl. And that was kind of wild to me, because when you're acting, you know, you're just. For me as an actor, I wanted to book a job that told a story that people felt something, that I grew. I was never really thinking about, like, I need this job, and I want to make money, and I want to become rich, and I want to become famous. It was never about that. So when you book a job that ends up hitting the way Gossip Girl did and people responding around the world, it was like, it put us on the map in a different way. And financially, I mean, we were getting paid for appearances. There wasn't social media then. Like, now you can get paid for posts and all those kind of things. Back then, it was kind of like, you're getting. Getting paid to go to Fashion Week. Are you getting paid for these appearances? Let alone making the money on CW for a show that. That hit pretty big. We had to get a business manager. We had to get publicists, lawyers. Like, I was like, this is crazy. It was also crazy how much, like, a publicist was a month. I remember Ed and I were like, we're not paying that much a month. And they're like, you guys really need to have one. People are starting to follow you. Like, Warner Brothers was really wanting all of us to have that, and it ended up being very necessary. And I am still with my same publicist to this day, and she's amazing. But that was interesting to be like, oh, my gosh.
- [10:27]
Nicole Lapin
And another thing, all this stuff was at the.
- [10:30]
Jessica Zor
No, not at all.
- [10:31]
Nicole Lapin
And you also, you know, bought yourself some celebratory stuff along the way, Right? Like, when you first booked Gossip Girl, didn't you get yourself a Fendi purse? That's still in the family.
- [10:42]
Jessica Zor
It is. I think my cousin. My cousin Sydney has it now, but I. Yeah, that was the first thing. And I'm not like, this crazy designer. Like, the few designer purses I have, Brad's gotten. Gotten me for, like, Mother's Day or my birthday. And I don't get me wrong, I love them, and I. I'll rock them all the time. But I just never, to me, was like, okay, I'm gonna go and spend $1200 or $2500 on a purse. It just didn't, like, click with me that time. I'm like, I deserve, like, I'm gonna pay for this, like, designer purse. I'm gonna go in and do that. And that was like. I remember on Rodeo Drive, In Beverly Hills. And it felt good. Yeah, it felt freaking good.
- [11:17]
Nicole Lapin
Celebrate it. You worked your ass off. Yes. It's not about doing it every day. And it's also like, there's a sweet spot between thinking you're gonna live forever and thinking you're gonna die tomorrow. And I think people ended up getting stuck on both sides of the extremes. And the truth is, like, you can't hoard and, you know, not ever get yourself something to celebrate. And also, you can't spend all the things. Like there is somewhere in between that makes the most sense. Where that is, is different for everybody.
- [11:46]
Jessica Zor
Sure, totally. I also don't really think, like, growing up thinking, just talking about my siblings, like, I don't know, I was born in 85, but I don't really know that. There was like a ton of conversation about, like, money and savings with kids growing up in the 80s. I don't know any of my friends still from high school that when we were like 15, had like this plan because their parents have talked about money as kids. And then in high school. Do you know what I mean? I think everyone was like, kind of focused on where were they gonna go to school, what was their, you know, five year plan, that kind of thing. And now I think it's very different. I don't know if it's the access to the Internet and all these podcasts where you can get information or that we finally realize is our, you know, our generation is like, okay, we need to talk about this, or. I just don't think it really was. I mean, do you feel like your group of friends had open conversations about money with their friend? I just, I don't know. One friend that was like, yeah, this is my parents. Like, not one. No.
- [12:47]
Nicole Lapin
And also, it's so hilarious. I mean, even now, like, to talk to kids and ask them how much they think things cost, like a car or a house. Like, I had no idea. I had no perspective about it. I mean, do you think about that with your daughter now, like, how to change that cycle or not? Not that you needed to break a cycle because it sounds like it was pretty run of the mill. Like, your parents fought sometimes about money. It was nothing extreme.
- [13:12]
Jessica Zor
Right.
- [13:12]
Nicole Lapin
But it sounds like you wanted to change that for your own relationship and probably how your daughter learns about money from you.
- [13:19]
Jessica Zor
Totally.
- [13:20]
Nicole Lapin
And they watch you for everything.
- [13:22]
Jessica Zor
Yeah, totally. And I definitely do want her to be aware. I also think being aware of spending, like, we come up here, we're in Flagstaff, and we're ME members here. So, like, when she goes to get a milkshake or get something, she doesn't see us handing over a card because we just. It goes onto our account, which is not always cute at the end of the month. But. But like I said to Brad the other day, because I have a stepdaughter who's nine. Like, we should really explain to them this isn't free. Like, that's a six dollar milkshake. And so you're gonna finish it or we're not gonna get it if you're just like gonna take two sips. Cause you think it's free. And that seems very, like, little and not like a big deal. But it is to be aware of. Like, we left lunch the other day and they had some friends and there was like four large lemonades, three milkshakes, and not. I'm not being cheap, but they were just sitting. I'm like, oh, my God. They just don't understand that, like, we just. That all needs to be paid for. Yeah.
- [14:21]
Nicole Lapin
So I couldn't get a drink growing up. That was like a special occasion when you could get or something.
- [14:28]
Jessica Zor
I remember if people had like, gushers, I'd be like, oh, they're rich. My mom would never. We couldn't afford gushers to go in my lunch.
- [14:36]
Nicole Lapin
So let's go back to a time where you felt like you needed money. Rehab. Was there something that you picked up in your 30s that you wish you knew in your 20s about money?
- [14:50]
Jessica Zor
Yeah, I. I do feel like you have to remember money doesn't grow on trees. And even when you do have money coming in, you don't know when that'll stop or when this. You know, when the stock market crashes. You just have to be prepared, I feel like. And I. There was a moment in time where I was just picking up and going on trips. I was in a relationship where I was really covering everything for him, which was, when I look back, is like unbelievable. Money that I spent.
- [15:19]
Nicole Lapin
You supported was crazy.
- [15:20]
Jessica Zor
Yeah, for like two years. And it's. I remember my mom being like, you're gonna regret this. And it's not just a money thing. Like, this is not cool. And yeah, so I went. I like, went through a lot of money. And then I was a hostess at a sushi bar on Sunset. And then I ended up sitting with Donna at the wrong table and I got fired.
- [15:41]
Nicole Lapin
Wait, this was pre Gossip Girl?
- [15:43]
Jessica Zor
Yes. Then I went and I started working right down the street at this place called Sunset Kids. And then that's where my manager, Laina Rocklin, who I'm still with was, like, looking at me while I was wrapping a gift. And she's like, what. What do you do here? And I'm like, I mean, you know, I moved here from Wisconsin to act. Kind of did modeling growing up. And she's like, yeah, you should be on tv. And I'm like, thanks. That's so nice. I have a manager and agent. And she's like, well, they're not doing their job. And then I took a meeting with her because I felt she just. It this, like, really laid on my heart for, like, three days. I called my mom. I'm like, can you pray about this with me? I feel like there's something with this woman, but I don't want to be disrespectful to my team. But I also didn't, like, up and leave my family and be on the grind of this to, like, just sit and wait for people. So I. I left my manager so that I wasn't shady, and then took a meeting with her. I really had faith that, like, I was going to go with this woman and something was going to work out, because I literally left my manager without fully signing with her because I just felt that was the right thing to do. It's kind of weird, like, with managers and stuff in our. In our industry, it's almost like relationships. Like, if you end up leaving your agent or manager, it's like you're, like, scared to call and tell them. There's all this history. It's, like, really wild. But anyways, I ended up going with her, and two weeks later, I think.
- [16:59]
Nicole Lapin
A professional breakup is hard. And then you booked Gossip Girl.
- [17:02]
Jessica Zor
I booked a show called what About Brian, which is a J.J. abrams and Brian Burke show that was on ABC. And that was my first time being a series regular and seeing quotes and meaning. Like, when you test for something or become a series regular, the network has to give you a quote, and that's what you get paid per episode. And then as you book other jobs or test for other pilots, whether they go or don't go, they have to keep meeting your quote. And your quote can keep going up or does keep going up, especially if you have a really great team, like I do. So, like, by the time I booked Gossip Girl, my quote had went up a lot from different tests, deals, and things like that. So that was great. And then you never know what shows are going to hit or not hit. So when we booked Gossip Girl and signed, you know, for, you know, our deals, we didn't know after the first 13 episodes, if we were gonna get the back nine, if this was gonna go on another season. And not only did it hit, it, like, exploded in so many different lanes. Like, the fashion world wanted to be a part of our show. The music world, the industry. Like, we were at every award show. We were. Every designer wanted us to wear their clothes on the show or off the show. It was crazy. Like, I'd be like, oh, I just have to walk outside, and they're gonna take a picture of me wearing this shirt and pay me that much money. This is. This is crazy. And then on top of it, which was wild, is the free shit that started coming. Like, that's always boxes daily.
- [18:23]
Nicole Lapin
Like, I think I can afford it, get the free stuff.
- [18:26]
Jessica Zor
I said, I can finally afford all this. And I. When I say this, I mean that. And, like, I was so grateful. I still am. When I get stuff, I. It's crazy, but I just remember being like, mom, you won't believe this. Yeah.
- [18:40]
Nicole Lapin
So how does it work? Do you. You negotiate your per episode rate regardless of if you have one line in the episode or if you're all over the episode?
- [18:47]
Jessica Zor
Well, if you're a series regular, that's a different contract than if you're, you know, come on, do three of the six episodes or, you know, two episodes, or if you're a day player. So there's all different kinds of contracts and deals and things like that.
- [19:03]
Nicole Lapin
And you are a series regular.
- [19:05]
Jessica Zor
Yeah, I get paid my quote for that episode, whether I'm in one scene. Gotcha. Or all 42. Okay. So when you do you get what I'm saying?
- [19:15]
Nicole Lapin
Yeah, for sure. That's awesome.
- [19:16]
Jessica Zor
Yeah. I mean, that there would be sometimes where we would be like, oh, we're going to go to the Hamptons for the. For the weekend. And if you only worked Monday and Tuesday, then I'd have six days off. And I was. My friend would be like, wait, so you get paid the same amount even if you went in all. I'm like, yeah, that's just how it works. Some episodes, you're really heavy, and sometimes you're not, but regardless, you get the same amount.
- [19:34]
Nicole Lapin
Yeah, Love that. Okay. You book Gossip Girl. Can you. What is that moment? Where were you? What were you doing? Who told you you got the part?
- [19:45]
Jessica Zor
I. Well, I remember I was, like, having a hard time. I was booking things here and there. I'd get, like, you know, a couple episodes on this show or do. It was after what about Bread? And I just remember I was like, went through a moment Where I'm like, I miss my family. I miss my friends. I like, because I moved to la, I wasn't old enough to go out, I wasn't in school. And, like, I would be working, but I would, like, go on a show for two weeks and then be done. So it wasn't like I was, like, growing a family like you kind of do when you're. You're on a show for years where you make some of your best friends, like I did on Gossip Girl or, you know, Shameless and things like that. So I was, like, wanting to move home, and my mom came out and kind of was like, I think you should just keep going. The easy thing to do would be to leave and come home. You know, we'll always be here for you. And don't get me wrong, my mom would have loved for me to move home, but she was also like, I know that you're just, like, kind of going through a moment. So I kind of stuck it out. I ended up going to a barbecue. My friend and his roommate, my friend Nathaniel and Adam, who is such a weird and wild story, Small World, asked if I wanted to go to this barbecue. And I was kind of like, eh, I don't want to go to one. In Hollywood, where everyone just talks about themselves and this industry, the irony is that I'm sitting here literally doing that. They're like, no, it'll be fun. We get there, we're talking about life. We're sitting around the pool. And then two days later, my manager Laina called me and was like, what did you do this weekend? I'm like, I went to a barbecue. I went to a movie. Why? What's up? And she's like, there's this pilot called Gossip Girl that got picked up for the cw, and there's a role that shoots three different four episodes in New York. You were at the creator's house this weekend, and they really like you for the role. I was like, I was at Josh Schwartz's house. She's like, yeah. I'm like, oh, my God. His name was Josh. But I never put it together, never mentioned anything. It's actually funny when you hear Josh and Stephanie tell the story. They're like, we were literally whispering, like, this is Vanessa as you were sitting there. I'm like, you were? Why didn't you say something? They're like, we didn't even know if you were an actor. So I end up auditioning. I booked it and was, like, on a flight, like, two days later. And then I did the Four episodes. And then that episode, I feels like after that ended, I remember being bummed and that the whole cast took me to dinner. And I remember Blake being like, well, you have to come back for another episode. She can't. Vanessa can't just vanish. And I'm like, that's actually true. But they were all, like, cute. And I was, like, really sad, though, because I was, you know, becoming friends, and we were living in New York City, running around, going to concerts and plays, and just shooting the show was fun. It's not like wearing all the designer clothes. And the story lines were so dramatic and crazy. And so, yeah, I ended up coming. Was coming back. And now I'll never forget when Lena called, she's like, they want to make you a series regular. So then I. It changed because those three episodes, it was just reoccurring. So that's a totally different contract because now it's, like, years, and, you know, so that was a big change. Huge.
- [22:37]
Nicole Lapin
And also, I'm so fascinated because money is a big character in the show. Did working on the show change the way you thought about money or status?
- [22:47]
Jessica Zor
Yeah, because I remember when we got picked up for the back nine late in Texas, she goes, we're rich, bitch. And I was dying laughing. And then I'm, like, reading a script, and I'm like, okay, this kid owns a hotel and drives a limo. The world and the money that these Upper east side kids are living in in the show, but actually in real life there, too, because I. You know, we filmed up there a lot. I got to know some people whose kids were in high school. You know, that really is, like, a very small percentage in the world that, like, live that way. I'm not saying exactly to Gossip Girl, but living in these crazy apartments, you know, that overlook Central park and are going to these school. I mean, it's. It's wild.
- [23:29]
Nicole Lapin
I loved Gossip Girl. Still love Gossip Girl. I feel like it's made a comeback again. My ex's daughter was watching it, and I was just like, this is. This is, like, such an iconic show, and. And money is such an iconic character in it. I thought, yeah, this is just really, like, a good look into a world that people don't get access to. A lot, as you said, you know, it's. It's a super small percentage. The amount of money that you spend on these schools, I think is up to, like, a hundred grand or something crazy a year right now. Yeah, Just bananas.
- [24:02]
Jessica Zor
It just even, like, have the. To live in New York City. Like, you walk Outside. And before you're even in the cab or in the Uber, you're spending, you're just. I remember saying to one of my best friends, you know, we were living there for this, like, a couple summers ago, and I remember being like, I just walked out and spent 300, and I haven't even got a coffee yet, like, between the. You know what I mean? But it was great. It's just nuts.
- [24:26]
Nicole Lapin
And it sounds like you became really close friends with your co stars. Did you guys ever talk about money? Like, did you. Is it taboo to ask your. Because now it's much more common to have salary transparency. But did you ever know what you.
- [24:41]
Jessica Zor
Honestly, I was never. Yeah, I was never on any set where anyone had ever asked me, or vice versa. I feel like it's kind of like an un. You just. You just don't ask. Or maybe that's just how I feel, because I never have, but I've never been asked that.
- [25:00]
Nicole Lapin
I mean, do you. Do you have a favorite memory from that time of your life?
- [25:04]
Jessica Zor
I mean, there was so many. So many things. I remember getting there, and we were all going out, and the show hadn't aired yet, but, like, there were billboards everywhere in the city and on the sides of buses, and I remember thinking, oh, my God, this shows. This show's. They're like putting time and money and energy into this, and I. I think people are gonna like it. And then I really knew that it was a hit when we had to get security guards, like, to walk us to and from set and to our. To and from our apartments and when, you know, paparazzi was following us and outside, it was really weird because you. No one can prepare you for that. And to compare it from going to, oh, you just want to book a job that, you know, you can pay your bills until. Still tell a story to, like, your whole world is out to the public. Like, it was really crazy. I mean, we were in the tabloids every week. I feel like there was, like, fake reporters at restaurants sitting next to us. It was. It was really wild to go from, like, I could do whatever to, like, okay, you got to kind of look over your shoulder.
- [26:08]
Nicole Lapin
Would you do a reunion?
- [26:09]
Jessica Zor
I think it would be fun just because it would be cool to see where everyone is years down the line. But I just. I feel like we've also all moved on, so you know what I mean? So I'm not opposed to it. I mean, that was such a big part of all of our lives, and it's still a big part in my heart. I mean, it changed my life. And I also got to live in New York City and we had so much fun. And there was like, Ed and Chase were roommates and I lived next in the next building over. I mean, the three of us were going to like every concert, all these different, like events and art shows and plays and it was just. It was so fun.
- [26:47]
Nicole Lapin
It sounds so fun. Do people recognize you now in Arizona?
- [26:52]
Jessica Zor
Yeah. I. My husband is always like, how many, how many legs is this show gonna have? Like, is this the last part? Because I almost think the show's bigger now than it was when we were on it because it's like on Netflix now. It's on all these different streaming. I am the oldest of five, so. And I have three sisters. One of my sisters was in high school when this was going on. Then my younger sis, youngest sister, I'm 17 years older than. So from they. The difference between them, it was so big for each sister in high school and it was all different times. So to me, I'm like, this is crazy. Like someone 17 years younger than me, her. Her grade and age were just as into it as the rest. It was. It's. It was crazy. It's wild. I think the only thing when you go back and, and watch it, which I. I did six months ago, I was like sick in bed and I ended up like flipping it on and I was like. And I never really had seen it. A few episodes here and there when I did the podcast for EXO or with iHeart xoxo but I hadn't seen some of the seasons and I was like, they really nailed it. Like, the casting, the writing, the, like just all the dramatic. There would be 15 minutes and I'm like, nowadays this would. You don't have to shoot anymore. This would be the episode. The amount of drama and like jaw dropping moments and then the crazy outfits and then the guest stars that were coming on. I mean, they did a really good job. The only thing I think that like, you could be like, oh, this was longer than we. Like a while back. This is in 2007 because of the flip phones. Do you know what I mean? Like, other than that, you can kind of. It would be. It could have been five years ago. You know what I mean?
- [28:35]
Nicole Lapin
Yeah. This new generation's like, what's that? I was so sorry to hear about Michelle Trachtenberg. My God. I mean, I know that when I've lost people that I knew when I was younger, it's really such a reminder to cherish Every moment. Did you. Did that passing have that effect on you?
- [28:54]
Jessica Zor
Yeah. I mean, wow. I remember being super shocked. I mean, she's. She's such a. She was always such a. Oh, my God. I'm gonna cry. Just, like, such a beautiful soul and so funny, and it was really shocking. And. Yeah, it definitely, like, made me realize that life's short and you don't know. You know, we're not always promised tomorrow. She was really a breath of fresh air. She would say stuff. We would be like Michelle, but it would be so funny, and. And she was so fun to work with and such a good actress. They would yell action. And she would just dial in, and it was so fun to watch and play off of. She. She was special. Yeah. Oh, my God. Sorry, guys. No.
- [29:45]
Nicole Lapin
I want to give you a big hug.
- [29:49]
Jessica Zor
Oh, do you.
- [29:51]
Nicole Lapin
Do you need a minute?
- [29:53]
Jessica Zor
Yeah, I'm gonna just get a cleanup. Are you.
- [29:55]
Nicole Lapin
Are you okay to keep going?
- [29:57]
Jessica Zor
Oh, yeah, yeah. She. Yeah, she really brought such. I mean, what she did with Georgina was, like, so epic. Like, you loved her, you love to hate her, but you also, like, rooted for her. And it just speaks volumes of how good, how great of an actress she was. And she was just so professional, just, like, always, literally watching her. Leighton has a lot of this, too. It was like taking an acting class. They were just, like, so dialed and so fun, and you didn't know what was gonna come next with their delivery. So it kept you on your toes, which I think makes you grow as an actor. And I think Michelle just, like, was epic. I didn't mean to break down like that. I actually. To be honest, it's. A lot of people reached out about it, but it's. This is the first time I've done, like, a interview where I've been asked, so.
- [30:46]
Nicole Lapin
Miss her, you know, thinking about her. Does it change the way you. You look at. At cherishing every moment. Moment now?
- [30:57]
Jessica Zor
Yeah, I. Cause I feel like, especially. Cause you're so young. I mean, we're not promised tomorrow. We. We. We. You do have to cherish things. Life is fragile and special, and that definitely. I mean, I think, as a whole, for all of us, as a cat, I think we were all, like, shocked and sad and couldn't believe it. So. Yeah, it definitely makes you, like, open your eyes and realize that, like, we just never know what tomorrow brings.
- [31:27]
Nicole Lapin
Did you stay in touch?
- [31:29]
Jessica Zor
Yeah, we were. We were, like, two people that would have more fun at an event. And I moved to Scottsdale. I know she was back and forth between LA and New York quite a bit. And she was always working. That girl was always working, like, whether she was producing something or filming something. But we definitely kept a friendship. We weren't in the same city often, but we definitely, like, checked in with each other and loved being around each other. She was. She's such a trip in the. In the best way.
- [32:01]
Nicole Lapin
Hold onto your wallets. Money rehab will be right back. And now for some more money rehab. You moved to Scottsdale. You are married, beautiful daughter, stepdaughter. You mentioned that you and your husband Brad have the same money mindset.
- [32:24]
Jessica Zor
I mean, he's grown. He's, like, helped me grow in that. Like, I feel like if he didn't play hockey, he would be a really good business guy, and he's still a good business guy. Like, for me, if I wasn't acting, I wouldn't be, like, a great businesswoman. I would need, like, a team around me to help. I'm very creative. I have a lot of ideas that have helped me make money and that hopefully some of these ones that I'm working on now will. Will grow where people like it and I make money on it as well and. And all that. But, like, he's like, could have done either one.
- [32:52]
Nicole Lapin
Do you guys have the same bank account? Like, do you check in on money often? How does it work?
- [32:58]
Jessica Zor
We definitely check in on things often. He's. He's also helped me in a way to make sure that money goes away monthly for the girls and trusts and things like that. And then we own a couple properties together. We. We have our own bank account, have some that are joined. So we share some things. Some things we have on our own.
- [33:19]
Nicole Lapin
And you share, like, what you prioritize spending on with experiences or. I mean, you guys met at Coachella.
- [33:26]
Jessica Zor
So I mean, we did. We're not shy to, like. We love having a good time. We love going to concerts, we love traveling. He's a real foodie, I would say. He's, like. He's a. He's bougie. I would say a little bit as. As down to earth and chill as he is. He likes nice things, which is great, and he's worked really hard, and. And he deserves those. But it's, like, funny because he'll, like, pick a restaurant. It's. He's just such a trip. He's got such good taste. He's got great style, and he works really hard, and he's really. He's really smart with his money, and it's helped me. And he's also made me A lot of money.
- [34:08]
Nicole Lapin
Yeah.
- [34:09]
Jessica Zor
Yeah. With different investments. Like, I wouldn't have known about either of these. Either of the two properties that we. We own. I would have never even thought to look in those places. And one property we've sold, and we made a nice little chunk of change, which was. Was. Which was great. But again, I wouldn't have probably done that investment had he not shown it to me. So I owe him a big hug and kiss right now.
- [34:36]
Nicole Lapin
Yeah. I mean, he owes you a big hug. Yeah.
- [34:38]
Jessica Zor
And that, too. This is true.
- [34:40]
Nicole Lapin
What if your daughter told you she wanted to be a child actor or model? What would you tell her, knowing all that you know now?
- [34:47]
Jessica Zor
Yeah, I just. It's such a crazy industry. You're told no so many times. I think it takes a while to kind of get through how hard that can be to where you can keep it moving and not be too hard on yourself. I think that takes. Or. It took me a minute. I wouldn't want to discourage her of doing something that she wants to do or loves, but I would want to have, like, a real conversation about, like, why. What do you want to get from it? What do you want other people to see when you're, you know, telling these stories or getting into character? And I would probably want her to be old enough where she really can answer those, but, like, 10, you don't really know. You don't have enough life experience to. To know the kind of things I would want her to be aware of out of being an actor and being in the industry.
- [35:41]
Nicole Lapin
Because it's a lot.
- [35:43]
Jessica Zor
It's a lot.
- [35:44]
Nicole Lapin
Have you started thinking about allowance with her?
- [35:46]
Jessica Zor
We, a couple months ago, were starting to think about chores and things for Lexi to kind of show. Like, okay, if you do these things, you can make this money and then use that money to buy certain things so that you can kind of start being aware. Not that we still wouldn't provide and get hurt, but, like, little things where it's like, okay, you want this sweatshirt? And we haven't really buckled down to do it yet, but we should. Because I do think that's important. Because if you don't have. I didn't have that. So, like, when I came into money on my own, I would, like, go to dinners or go in trouble. I mean, I went through money like crazy. So I think it's important. Important that they have some awareness of that. And it's just so nowadays with. Even with the cell phones and Venmo and all that kind of stuff, like, they don't really Kids don't really see. I remember if I asked my mom for money growing up, like, you got the $10, so you kind of. You watched, you know, when, when it was gone, it was gone where? Now it's like people have a credit card. Yeah. You swipe it. Tap. Just. I feel like there's. It, it's. It's weird because I feel like because of all these podcasts and, and the Internet and all that, there's a lot of ways to help people talk more about money and saving and being aware. But I also think because of technology, there's lots where you. It. You are unaware. You know what I mean? I also wish Venmo would have been around years ago, because I will say this. This is like a lesson I really wish I would have learned earlier is that when someone asks to borrow money or for you to lend them money, you're probably not seeing it back. Yeah. You're really probably not seeing it back. Yeah. Quite a few times. And I remember my first business manager was like, this is not. I'm just telling you. And I'm like, I know, but it's fine. And they're going through a hard moment, and it's okay. And I, you know, I had to learn that it's okay to say no, it's okay. That the money that I worked really hard for and left my family and had lonely nights and all that. Just because I came into something for working hard doesn't mean that I have to feel like I owe that to other people. But I'm like a real. I don't ever want anyone that I love or that I'm close to struggling. You know what I mean? But I really wish I would have been WISER in my 20s with that. Not only. Not only because of losing the money, but also because of the principle of, like, that's not cool. And it's okay to say no. Like, it's okay to say, yeah, I'm sorry, I can't. I'm not going to do that this time. Or I can't do that, or, you know, my money's tied up here. Yeah, that's. That's one thing I really wish I would have been better with.
- [38:29]
Nicole Lapin
Do you hold the boundary now? I do this adage that, you know, if you lend a friend money, decide what you want more, the friend or the money.
- [38:38]
Jessica Zor
Right.
- [38:39]
Nicole Lapin
I mean, yeah, that's basically lose relationships.
- [38:42]
Jessica Zor
Yeah. That's also why they say don't. Don't do business with. With friends and family, too, because that.
- [38:49]
Nicole Lapin
That can get hard and what if one of your girls said they wanted to support a guy for two years?
- [38:55]
Jessica Zor
Oh, I. I wouldn't like that. I. Yeah, I don't like that.
- [38:59]
Nicole Lapin
Your mom didn't like that?
- [39:00]
Jessica Zor
No, my mom didn't. And when I look back, I don't know what that was. I don't know why I felt like that was okay. But. No, I would. We would know by now.
- [39:12]
Nicole Lapin
So I'm a brand new mom. Do you have advice for me?
- [39:16]
Jessica Zor
There's a quote that I don't think could be any more true. That the days are long but the years are short. And it's so true. I keep saying this, like, because Bowie was my first. My first baby. I always think about, like, going back to the six months because everything's so new and fresh and you're, like, excited. But for me, I was, like, nervous. And you're not sure what you're doing, but you're trying and you're doing your best. And I just remember feeling like, oh, my gosh, like, okay, we'll get through this. This week of. And then it's like another. You know, it's the teething, then it's the crawling and making sure they're not getting hurt, but it's all such beautiful, amazing things. But I think now looking back, like, I'm like, oh, my gosh, it all was. It wasn't that, like, stressful. Do you know what I mean? Like, I was so. Did she poop yet? I was so worried, and I wish I was a little bit more relaxed because she was fine and everything was fine and we got through the teething and the crawling and the. You know, when they stopped sleeping again, I. One thing I didn't know is that they. They go three naps and then all of a sudden, she stopped napping at 2. And I didn't know that that was like a thing at two.
- [40:29]
Nicole Lapin
Oh, well, then what happens? It's just at night, she just.
- [40:31]
Jessica Zor
Yep. Just no napping. I was like, called my sister. I'm like, I didn't know. They just stopped napping. She's like, well, two's pretty early, Jess. But yeah. Yep. But I guess the advice is, is just I also think really trying to be as present as possible. Like, I really try not to be on my phone when I'm with my girls. A lot of my friends are like, you're the worst with your phone. Like, they'll call for, like, three days. I like, try to check my email and stand stuff up with work. But I think being really present and Just enjoy it. It's, it goes so fast. It's the best thing in the world. I write, I, I have a journal that I've written to Bowie since, since she was in my tummy, like, about different things that were going on in the world or my emotions or things that she's going through. And I, I'm, like, really excited, like, to give her that when she's, like, 18 of, like, the different things. Yeah. But I think you're, you're killing it. What's been the most challenging for you?
- [41:24]
Nicole Lapin
I think you, you hit on a pain point that, you know, I worry. I'm a worrier. My therapist has often said, like, well, what if it just works out? She, she did have to, you know, apologize to me right after the fire, because right before that I was like, oh, my God, everything is great. Like, what if it all just works out? And then here we are.
- [41:50]
Jessica Zor
Aw.
- [41:51]
Nicole Lapin
But sometimes it does just work out.
- [41:54]
Jessica Zor
Yeah.
- [41:55]
Nicole Lapin
And oftentimes we imagine the opposite.
- [41:58]
Jessica Zor
Right.
- [41:59]
Nicole Lapin
What's the worst case scenario? But sometimes it's important to entertain the best case scenario.
- [42:06]
Jessica Zor
Yeah. Were you. I know she's only six months, but do you want, like, more kids, do you think? Or it's, I, I, I would be so annoyed, me asking you. That is so annoying because you're like, she's six months. Just like, come on. But I mean, like, were you someone growing up who was like, I want a couple kids. I, like, thought I was going to have four kids at, like, 27.
- [42:22]
Nicole Lapin
7.
- [42:23]
Jessica Zor
And I hit 25, and I'm like, the total. Are you thinking? Yeah, and now I have one.
- [42:27]
Nicole Lapin
And I'm like, you, like, you like your family?
- [42:31]
Jessica Zor
You wanted a whole.
- [42:32]
Nicole Lapin
I wanted, I mean, I'm 41. I'm like, the, the elevator is like, to fertility, I feel like.
- [42:40]
Jessica Zor
But I also think this is such a fun age, too. Like, you've lived your life, you've went through your 20s, you have this great career, you have your husband. Like, I, I think it's awesome because there you've done so much. I mean, I guess this is all I know. I was 36 years old when I had her. So it's like, and you're done? If we didn't, if she didn't have Lexi, like, have a sister, I would definitely want a dynamic of that, maybe. But then again, I don't know. When her and I are just hanging, I'm like, she's great. Yeah. I, I, I'm 40, so I'm like, I'm probably, I'm probably good but again, at 40. Yeah, it's not like off the table, but. But I also, when I got pregnant, the first house we bought together, it's actually really kind of funny. We hired Lexi, my stepdaughter's mom, Lauren. So Brian's ex, Brad's ex wife, you.
- [43:34]
Nicole Lapin
Guys all get along?
- [43:35]
Jessica Zor
Yes. Brad's ex wife to be our realtor. And when she came in when we were like closing or something, I was seven months pregnant. Lexi ran in and like hugged me and. And the other realtor was like, wait, how do you guys know each other? And I'm like, this is his ex wife, that's their daughter, and I'm pregnant with his baby here. And she's our realtor. And she was like, this is as modern family as it gets. But. Yeah, but we.
- [43:58]
Nicole Lapin
That's an awesome blended family.
- [44:00]
Jessica Zor
It is, it's great. But we ended up moving at 7 months to Nashville. Then when she was 4 months, her and I moved to LA. But moved back to LA cause I had to film. And he was playing, finishing the season with the Predators. Then we moved to Calgary, then Vancouver and then Scottsdale. So. But we lived in five different places before she was like two. So when I look back at that, I'm like, oh my God, I don't know. And Brad's like, but it wouldn't be that again because I'm not playing your show shoots in la if that's, you know, if we do another season there. So I feel like part of my like brain goes to like, oh my God, I can't do all of that again. People are like, how was postpartum? I'm like, honestly, I don't know because I was working 17 hour days and on flights on the weekend and breastfeeding my daughter in my trailer looking like an alien. I mean, it was like a grind.
- [44:51]
Nicole Lapin
With a four month old beautiful alien. Yeah, I, I don't. I kind of miss the postpartum stuff because I had to jump into like crisis mode.
- [45:00]
Jessica Zor
Right.
- [45:01]
Nicole Lapin
And she's already lived. I mean, she lived in our house that burned down for two weeks. My baby nurse is the one that's being a little bit of a rabble rouser. She's like, so do you want to keep these clothes or these small diapers? They never go bad.
- [45:17]
Jessica Zor
And I'm like, like, part of me.
- [45:20]
Nicole Lapin
Was like, actually I. Those are expensive. So I don't know. But anyway, that, that's, that's what's happening around here. We're doing great, Jessica.
- [45:32]
Jessica Zor
I mean, you are through.
- [45:34]
Nicole Lapin
But yeah, Just, you know, getting through the day, realizing that, you know, you can always get more money, you can't get more time and like, such a good reminder.
- [45:43]
Jessica Zor
So true.
- [45:44]
Nicole Lapin
Thank you for opening up to all of this.
- [45:47]
Jessica Zor
Oh, my God. Yeah. Wild. Life is wild. I also wanted to say too, like, working really hard and, and it's so funny, my mom always say, you know, people be like, money doesn't solve your problems, but it surely does help them. It doesn't solve them, but it'll help them.
- [46:07]
Nicole Lapin
I mean, I've been broken rich. Being rich is more fun.
- [46:09]
Jessica Zor
Yeah. But I, I never like when Gossip Girl hit. I was just gonna say this before for like, younger, younger people listening. I think when you're choosing what you want to do in life and like picking a passion and working really hard at it, if you're picking something that you truly believe in and give it your all, like, you will find so much happiness and the right things will fall into place. And sometimes I think that's when people all of a sudden, like, do fall into to a nice chunk of money or a good investment and things like that. Because your passion and everything you're giving, it's like bleeding into something. And I think, I think sometimes if you're going after something to make the money and you only focus on that, it can cloud that.
- [47:02]
Nicole Lapin
Yeah. And we actually end all of our episodes by asking our guests for a tip that listeners can take straight to the bank. So, like a final tip. Yeah, but you just read my mind. Money Rehab is a production of Money News Network. I'm your host, Nicole Lapin. Money Rehab's executive producer is Morgan Lavoy. Our researcher is Emily Holmes. Do you need some Money Rehab? And let's be honest, we all do. So email us your money questions moneyrehaboneynewsnetwork.com to potentially have your questions answered on the show or even have a one on one intervention with me. And follow us on Instagram, MoneyNews and TikTok MoneyNewsNetwork for exclusive video content. And lastly, thank you. No, seriously, thank you. Thank you for listening and for investing in yourself, which is the most important investment you can make.