← Money Rehab with Nicole Lapin
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- [00:00]
Nicole Lapin
You know, there was this one time.
- [00:02]
Kelly Ben Simone
Before I did my own money rehab when I checked my credit score and I realized I had no idea what it actually meant for my financial future. That's when it hit me. It was time to get serious about my money. We've all had that moment, right? Whether it's saving for something big or finally paying off debt, we all get to a point where we need to make some real money moves. That's where Chime comes in. Chime offers a checking account designed to help you take control of your finances with no monthly fees, no maintenance fees and fee free overdraft up to $200 with sponsors. Imagine overdrafting and not having to worry about fees piling up. Chime's got you covered. Plus, Chime isn't just a financial tool, it's a community. You can get boosts from friends to temporarily increase your Spot Me limit, and when you help someone out with their own boost, they can return the favor. Friends helping friends make progress. It's that simple. So why not make your fall finances a little greener? Open your Chime account in just two minutes@chime.com MNN that's chime.com as in money News Network. Chime feels like progress. Banking services and debit card provided by the Bancorp NA or Stride Bank NA members FDIC Spot Me eligibility requirements and overdraft limits apply. Boosts are available to eligible Chime members enrolled in SpotMe and are subject to monthly limits. Terms and conditions apply. Go to chime.com disclosures for details. I love hosting on Airbnb. It's a great way to bring in some extra cash, but I totally get it that it might sound overwhelming to start or even too complicated. If, say, you want to put your summer home in Maine on Airbnb but you live full time in San Francisco and you can't go to Maine every time you need to change sheets for your guests or something like that. If thoughts like these have been holding you back, I have great news for you. Airbnb has launched a co host network which is a network of high quality local co hosts with Airbnb experience that can take care of your home and your guests. Co hosts can do what you don't have time for, like managing your reservations, messaging your guests, giving support at the property, or even create your listing for you. I always want to line up a reservation for my house when I'm traveling for work, but sometimes I just don't get around to it because getting ready to travel always feels like a scramble so I don't end up making time to make my house look guest friendly. I guess that's the best way to put it. But I'm matching with a co host so I can still make that extra cash while also making it easy on myself. Find a co host@airbnb.com host Happy New Year's Eve.
- [02:22]
Morgan Lavoy
Money Rehabbers it's Morgan. The EP of the show. As we look back on the year, one of the biggest questions that came up again and again was all all about how to make the most of the cuckoo crazy housing market. So today we wanted to re air an episode with one of our favorite real estate experts, Kelly Bensimone, who also was a Real Housewives of New York cast member. Today she shares all about the do's and don'ts of navigating the real estate market, whether you're looking at an investment property or trying to beat out competitors with a great application. You're also going to hear a bonus story in the middle of the episode from me about how I make a little extra your income through real estate. So don't miss that part. Again, it's around the middle of the episode. Here's Nicole and Kelly.
- [03:13]
Kelly Ben Simone
I'm financial expert Nicole Lapin. It's time for some Money Rehab. Today I'm chatting with Kelly Ben Simone. To Roni fans, Kelly is an icon from the two seasons she spent on.
- [03:30]
Nicole Lapin
The show over a decade ago. Now she's a successful real estate agent.
- [03:34]
Kelly Ben Simone
Who closed nine figures of sales in 2021 alone. Of course, with real estate being such.
- [03:40]
Nicole Lapin
A hot topic, I wanted to get.
- [03:42]
Kelly Ben Simone
All of her inside expertise. But there's another money trail.
- [03:45]
Nicole Lapin
I also wanted to follow the money.
- [03:47]
Kelly Ben Simone
Trail of the Real Housewives.
- [03:50]
Nicole Lapin
Full disclosure, I've never actually seen an episode of the Housewives. I know I'm probably the only person.
- [03:55]
Kelly Ben Simone
On the planet, but somehow I am still hooked. Despite not watching the show. I see all of these headlines about cast members who have gone bankrupt or are embroiled in some kind of financial scandal. And my question is why? Why are there so many housewife stars with financial skeletons in their closet?
- [04:15]
Nicole Lapin
Seems to be a story there and I wanted to find out. Kelly Ben Simone, welcome to Money Rehab.
- [04:22]
Kelly Ben Simone
Thank you. I love that Money Rehab. It's such a great title.
- [04:26]
Nicole Lapin
Thank you. I think we're going to keep it. How did you start in real estate?
- [04:31]
Kelly Ben Simone
I actually stumbled upon real estate. Unfortunately, my mom fell ill and wanted me to help sell our family properties and my father's older so I oversaw that quickly got my license and wasn't really thinking that, you know, this is like, just when million dollar listing had gone on, and I was, you know, just finished. I just retired from housewives, getting my mba, and I was just like. And I just was kind of stumbled into this because I had to do it. And so out of something that's so traumatic came something, like, so incredible. Who'd have known that, you know, she's asking me to do something to, like, preserve our family, and all of a sudden, I'm pulling in 110 million on my own.
- [05:14]
Nicole Lapin
I was just about to ask that. I was just. I was waiting to, like, throw down that number because you were like, I.
- [05:20]
Kelly Ben Simone
Just stumbled into this little thing.
- [05:22]
Nicole Lapin
Casual. $110 million in sales later last year.
- [05:26]
Kelly Ben Simone
Yeah, just last year.
- [05:27]
Nicole Lapin
In one year.
- [05:27]
Kelly Ben Simone
One year started with the number one deal of 2021. So we're in Covid. No one's in New York City. And I sold 150 Charles, penthouse of 150 Charles for 42 million, all cash.
- [05:40]
Nicole Lapin
Nicely done.
- [05:41]
Kelly Ben Simone
That was. Yeah, that was really nicely done, actually. It was. So one friend of mine happened to be looking for a $30 million apartment for his son.
- [05:48]
Nicole Lapin
Does that guy want to adopt another child? Who wants to buy a $30 million apartment? Who. Who is that kind of person?
- [05:55]
Kelly Ben Simone
I mean, they're just New York investors. I mean, I think a lot of these New York. A lot of New York guys knew what was going to happen. They. They forecasted that there was going to be something happening. They were just. They just bought everything up because it.
- [06:04]
Nicole Lapin
Was on the down. So buy low, sell high.
- [06:07]
Kelly Ben Simone
And so when buy low, sell high, that's your business.
- [06:10]
Nicole Lapin
That's right. But it works in real estate, too. You just. It's really hard to time the market. It's hard to figure out the trends of real estate. It's so city specific. What do you think is going on with the real estate market now? If you could give us a pulse check?
- [06:24]
Kelly Ben Simone
Well, so, you know, stock market's your business? Real estate market's my business. But, you know, we had, you know, 14 contracts over 4 million last week, and four of those were over 20 million. So. And it was Thanksgiving. So, you know, that's really interesting. I mean, there's a lot of big cash buyers out there. So when people ask me about my business, they're like, well, you know, people aren't selling anything. You know, I don't want to sell. I'm like, well, you can sell. It's like any market, if the person wants what you have, they're going to pay the price for it. So it doesn't matter what the state of the stock market is. You know, it's like people want what they can't have. And the good news about my business is I have a lot of great properties that most people can't have.
- [07:07]
Nicole Lapin
Well, it sounds like it's really a relationship business.
- [07:09]
Kelly Ben Simone
Completely. Completely. But this isn't something I just fell into. People are like, oh, she's got her license, and all of a sudden she's ranked 42 million. This is not how that works. I mean, I. Columbia, I have my mba. You know, I had great mentors along the way. I started L Accessories. I had Gotham magazine. Like, I'm really. I'm used to working with, you know, investors. I'm used to working with advertisers. I'm used to, like. You know, I think one reason that real estate really resonates with my clients is because I know everything about lifestyle. I started a magazine based on lifestyle. So it's like I already put the work in, and so I can kind of sit back and say, okay, this is the strategic opportunity for this apartment. This apartment needs staging. This apartment needs press. This apartment needs, you know, a party. This apartment, you know, whatever it is, you know, everything needs a little love in some kind of way. And, you know, you just can't, like, you know, they always say, like, put lipstick on a pig. We don't do that. I, like, make it movie magic.
- [08:08]
Nicole Lapin
I did bid on a place in la and I lost it.
- [08:11]
Kelly Ben Simone
So I need help.
- [08:12]
Nicole Lapin
We've seen these crazy bidding wars, right? It was like, you know, when interest rates were nothing. Lines around the block for open houses, like they were giving something away.
- [08:23]
Kelly Ben Simone
I mean, that's for rentals and for sales.
- [08:25]
Nicole Lapin
Yes. And that's kind of changed as interest rates have gone up. But what would your advice be for.
- [08:30]
Kelly Ben Simone
Winning a bidding war to have your financials in order. Just be ready to go. Because, you know, for example, my, you know, my daughter is looking at an apartment and they were like, okay, it's hasn't even been finished yet. It's like they literally. The apartment is in construction, and they're like, okay, you need to Zell the money. You know, first month's rent, earnest deposit, all this money, like, zell it. No checks Zell, like, right away. So you have to be really ready to go. You can't be like, oh, wait, hold on. Let me just. Let me just get myself together. Because there is that person that has their money ready to go.
- [09:03]
Nicole Lapin
And that's when you lose something. I mean, I don't hate renting. I talk about this a lot too. Because if you are taking out a jumbo mortgage and you're paying money every month, right. Most of that's going to interest in the beginning.
- [09:17]
Kelly Ben Simone
Right?
- [09:17]
Nicole Lapin
Right. And that's money you're not getting back. So when people say you're throwing money away by renting, you don't get that interest back, you don't get a bunch of other stuff back, you don't get closing costs back.
- [09:26]
Kelly Ben Simone
Right.
- [09:27]
Nicole Lapin
And so do you think we should bring sexy back to renting?
- [09:32]
Kelly Ben Simone
I mean, there are so many. I mean, the rental market in New York is just insane right now. And you know, I think there's a lot of fear associated with buying properties because there's, there's fear with the unknown. And it's not like, you know, because of the volatility of the stock market, people are like, okay, that's a forecasting of what's going to happen in the real estate market. But again, like, you know, you know, I live in this beautiful building I just sold. It's approximately, because it's a, it's a co op. So it's approximately 1800 square feet. One apartment for 2.9 million. And then I sold another one a couple of months later for 4.1. So I basically raised the price of the building. Obviously the other apartment was a different apartment with a different narrative. But do you see what I'm saying? Like, you can really make really good money or you can, you know, if you're, if you're living in a great home, like, for example, like I represent this insane home on the upper West Side, 26 West 87th street, where Billie Holiday, she lived. And it's this phenomenal townhouse. It's been completely renovated for 13.7. And you know, that's a place like, if you bought that home, I mean, you could really later on do whatever you want and really make a lot of money. So it just depends if you're not.
- [10:51]
Nicole Lapin
Paying a lot of mortgage because you can, if you take that big lump sum, like if somebody saved up $200,000 to buy a million dollar place, but they only have 200 grand and they put all that money into their house, they're kind of house poor. And then they can't use that money to put in the market and make more money potentially. So that opportunity cost of the big lump sum sometimes doesn't make sense for people.
- [11:14]
Kelly Ben Simone
Well, we have like different buckets. So we've got the Midwestern bucket Where they're putting money into. Under their. Under their mattresses. And then we have the real estate bucket, and then we have the stock market bucket. So we have, like, different people trying to figure out their finances in different kinds of ways. And it's just kind of. It's just really like, what works for you. Some people are just like, I'm just gonna put that cash under my mattress. And.
- [11:34]
Nicole Lapin
Which we don't recommend for off record.
- [11:36]
Kelly Ben Simone
But some people are just like, I'm just gonna save it for a rainy day, because cash is king, queen, queen, king, and queen. So you may not recommend it, but at the end of the day, sometimes it's good because, you know, if during COVID when you had a lot of cash, you could really buy anything you wanted. So just. It's. There's just three different kinds of buckets, and it's just really what you want to do and how you want to do it. At the end of the day, whether it's real estate, stock market, or your Matt. The most important, the number one priority for me in anything that I do with anyone is I tell them, like, your family, they're your legacy, so you need to give them shelter.
- [12:13]
Nicole Lapin
I like it.
- [12:13]
Kelly Ben Simone
Like, that's crucial. And, you know, food, water, and shelter, those are the things that people need.
- [12:19]
Nicole Lapin
Everybody needs shelter from the storm. Can we talk about a type of storm?
- [12:24]
Kelly Ben Simone
The storm that is the housewives?
- [12:26]
Nicole Lapin
I think there are a lot of people listening who will know you from the housewives. Do you think there's anything that you learned doing that show that helps you with real estate?
- [12:34]
Kelly Ben Simone
I mean, I am so grateful for housewives and for bravo because they gave me this massive. They basically took my name, that was, like, a small name in New York city, and, like, blew me out of the water.
- [12:47]
Nicole Lapin
So looking back, this is not something you regret doing. You're happy about being on the show?
- [12:51]
Kelly Ben Simone
No.
- [12:51]
Nicole Lapin
It paid dividends. Yeah, many, many.
- [12:53]
Kelly Ben Simone
I mean, I think that, like, when everyone asked me about the regrets, like, the only regret that I ever had was not showing, like, my real life, because it wasn't fair to the. To single women to not show them, like, how I was making money on my own. Like, they just thought that I was running around, you know, cartwheels, like, you know, like, chewing gum, having fun, which is something that I do all the time. But I also know how to make money and provide for my family.
- [13:19]
Nicole Lapin
And they didn't show enough of that.
- [13:21]
Kelly Ben Simone
You don't think.
- [13:21]
Well, it was. Yeah, they didn't want to because they were, like, She's a supermodel. And you have to remember, too, like, back when I was on television in the Ice Age, it was like 2009. You know, being a single parent was definitely not sexy. That was, like, almost taboo. Being able to provide for your family was, like, an anomaly. And, you know, just talking about being single was something that's like, oh, you're not with a man. It's like you don't have. You're not a unit. Right? You're not complete. You're not like a traditional family. So there were all of these interesting layers of things that were. That people didn't want to necessarily hear about. And now people are like, how did you do it? How did you do it? I'm like, I don't know. You asked my kids. They did it. I didn't do it. I just, like, pushed them.
- [14:04]
Nicole Lapin
So we heard rumors that Bravo wants you to come back for Housewives of.
- [14:09]
Kelly Ben Simone
New York Legends show.
- [14:11]
Nicole Lapin
Are you gonna do that?
- [14:12]
Kelly Ben Simone
I mean, you know, I'm definitely thinking about it. You know, it's like, I love the brand and I love the women, so.
- [14:21]
Nicole Lapin
I'm definitely thinking about it, but leaning more toward yes.
- [14:24]
Kelly Ben Simone
We'll see.
- [14:25]
Nicole Lapin
It sounds like it.
- [14:26]
Kelly Ben Simone
We'll see. We'll see what happens. I never, you know, you never say never, but, you know, everything has to. Everything has to align.
- [14:33]
Hold onto your wallets. Money Rehab will be right back.
- [14:36]
Morgan Lavoy
Hey, guys, it's Morgan, the EP of the show. And as you're loving all of these great real estate stories with Kelly Bensamone, I have another tip for you. Hosting on Airbnb is an amazing way to make your real estate work even harder for you. I love hosting on Airbnb because I work remotely. I'm lucky enough to get to spend summers back where I'm from in Maine. So when I'm away for the summer, I host my apartment on Airbnb. And it's been such a great side hustle. So, yes, I am a proud Airbnb host. But what I'm even prouder of is the fact that I got my best friend's mom, Lori, to be an Airbnb host, too. Lori lives in New England and is retired, and she and her husband go off on all these really cool background backpacking trips for weeks at a time, and when they're gone, their house just sits empty. I told Lori that hosting on Airbnb is just a no brainer for her. Her house could be collecting checks for her instead of just collecting dust. But also because she's retired, she's just not making the big bucks anymore. And through hosting on Airbnb, she could have some income coming in. That income can help her feel even better about her retirement nest egg, but also can contribute to a slush fund for those phenomenal trips she takes with her husband. But the idea of having to make the house spotless and coordinate with guests while she's also getting ready for a big trip felt like just too much for Lori. But Airbnb's co hosting feature changed the game. Airbnb's Co Host network is a network of high quality local co hosts with Airbnb experience that can take care of your home and guests for you. Co hosts can do what you don't have time for or just don't want to do, like managing reservations, messaging guests, giving support at the property, or can even create your listing for you. When I told Lori about this, she finally signed up and she has her first guest lined up for the summer, thanks to her co host. Find a co host for you or for your friend's mom@airbnb.com host that's airbnb.com host.
- [16:37]
Kelly Ben Simone
And now for some more money. Rehab.
- [16:40]
Nicole Lapin
It sounds like it. I mean, Bethany has said that there's always a number to go back to the housewives, right? Do you have a number?
- [16:45]
Kelly Ben Simone
Well, it's work at the end of the day, so there's always a number for everything.
- [16:49]
Nicole Lapin
I agree. It's not a charity. Okay, so what would you like, a ballpark?
- [16:56]
Kelly Ben Simone
I don't know, really.
- [16:58]
Nicole Lapin
Okay, so I'm going to give you $50 million. Would you go back to the housewives?
- [17:02]
Kelly Ben Simone
50 million? I'd probably go back to the housewives.
- [17:05]
Nicole Lapin
10 million. We're doing an auction.
- [17:09]
Kelly Ben Simone
Why is it 50 to 10? That's terrible. Like, it's usually like 50 to like 7. Or like.
- [17:17]
Nicole Lapin
We're not buying a house here, sister. I mean, I'm just trying to find the ball. I'm trying to find the range. Everyone's always, what neighborhood are we in?
- [17:27]
Kelly Ben Simone
No, but everyone's like, when that, when they ask me, I'm like, oh, no, I don't really like that number. They're like, why? I'm like, what? You mean like 4, 9, 7, 5? They're like, what?
- [17:34]
Nicole Lapin
But it sounds like the salary isn't really where you're making the money. But you get paid by episode.
- [17:39]
Kelly Ben Simone
It depends on your deal.
- [17:40]
Nicole Lapin
So there's not a standard thing everybody gets.
- [17:42]
Kelly Ben Simone
Yeah, I mean, yeah. I don't. I mean, I don't really know what other people are Getting. I don't really like a lot of. A lot of housewives, they, like, try to commiserate. I'm like, no, no. I'm like, I'm good.
- [17:51]
Nicole Lapin
You don't like talking about it. I like financial transparency.
- [17:54]
Kelly Ben Simone
I do, too. But I think that you have to be careful, especially on a show like that. It's different, like, when you're working together, but when you're, like, on a show that's being filmed under, like, a microscope on hgtv, I think it's different when you're talking because there's that constant, like, the. The. The level of competition just gets really, really high because of, like, how much the person's getting paid versus, like, what's at stake emotionally. Do you know what I mean?
- [18:21]
Nicole Lapin
Got it. I'm sure Bravo doesn't want everybody talking about it. Cause there'll probably be, like, some collective bargaining agreement where everybody goes up and.
- [18:29]
Kelly Ben Simone
Tries to get it. But again, like, you don't want to be. Like, you don't want to have. I mean, you wouldn't want to be on a show. You wouldn't want to produce a show where you have, like, four people already arguing about knowing how much the other person is making.
- [18:40]
Nicole Lapin
I mean, there's a balance.
- [18:41]
Kelly Ben Simone
Right.
- [18:41]
Nicole Lapin
Because I think, especially for women negotiating in order. This will be a real estate analogy for you. In order to price your house, you need to know the comp of the area, obviously. Okay, so the same thing works for, like, salaries.
- [18:53]
Kelly Ben Simone
Right.
- [18:53]
Nicole Lapin
If you don't know the comp, like, how are you pricing yourself? You're shooting in the dark.
- [18:56]
Kelly Ben Simone
Right? That's a good point. But I think that when you're seeing people that are getting like, a million versus, like, other people that are getting, like, 10,000, I think that. That such a. Like, it doesn't level playing field. And so then people get, like, at the onset, like, ferocious. And they don't want that. They want people to be genuine, and they want people. They want to, like. It's hgtv. You want to see, like, authentic moments.
- [19:23]
Nicole Lapin
Yeah. Although I would argue with Housewives, there's been so much financial turmoil for so many of these women that maybe talking about it would be helpful because the number of bankruptcies, the number of financial scandals.
- [19:36]
Kelly Ben Simone
Well, I mean, if we talked. If you're talking about actual finance, if you're saying to, like, so and so, like, if you went on and we're like, hi, this is what you need to do, or if someone was in a situation with bankruptcy, if you were there to be, like, Well, I can help you navigate that. I think that's different than, like, trying to get people to, on the onset to be like, you're making 10,000, I'm making a million. Like, I'm better than you are, you know, kind of thing.
- [20:00]
Nicole Lapin
Should I bust into the house?
- [20:01]
Kelly Ben Simone
Cause you don't know what's going to. You don't know, like, who's going to be the breakout star. Like, you don't know. Just because you're making X amount of dollars doesn't mean that you're not going to be that. That you're going to be the breakout star versus the other one. You don't know that. It depends on, like, the narrative. It depends on, like, what they're doing, you know?
- [20:17]
Nicole Lapin
So I'll be honest. I haven't watched any housewives franchise at all. Which one should I be on? There's a Potomac. That's not a joke.
- [20:26]
Kelly Ben Simone
There's Dubai. There's Potomac. They're like, all over. There's Miami.
- [20:30]
Nicole Lapin
I'm coming on. I'm going to help these women.
- [20:32]
Kelly Ben Simone
There's Beverly Hill.
- [20:33]
Nicole Lapin
I'm going to. They can tell me. We don't have to put it on. They can tell me how much they're making. I can look the books. Because it seems like there's always a headline about a financial scandal on the housewives.
- [20:44]
Kelly Ben Simone
Always.
- [20:44]
Nicole Lapin
There's Jen Shaw. There's Erika, Jane, Teresa. I don't know how to say her last name. Why do you think so many housewives get into financial trouble?
- [20:55]
Kelly Ben Simone
Because I think they live above their means. I think they get excited, and I think that they. They forget why the fans want to hear from them. They want to hear their story. And then all of a sudden, they're like, I'm wearing Louis Vuitton. I'm in a G wagon. Like, I'm killing it. Look at me. I'm famous. And then all of a sudden, you know, cameras stop rolling. It's like in any business. It's like an entertainment business, like music, modeling, acting. You see all these people, like, doing so well, and then all of a sudden, they stop doing well and the money stops going, you know, coming in. And all of a sudden it's like, dun, dun, dun. Then life gets real. So I think you'd be great. I think they would be. They know. I think it'd be great to just have you just, like, general, just like, telling women like, you know how to take care of themselves.
- [21:42]
Nicole Lapin
And I'm in. Sign me up. Because it's not even living within your means. It's living below your means, which is not fun and sexy, but it builds long term wealth. Just saying, right? With Erika Jayne, she's been having all this trouble with her husband. Ex husband. It came out that she didn't have a prenup or something like that. What do you think about prenups?
- [22:06]
Kelly Ben Simone
It depends on the situation. You know, I think that some situations you should have a prenup. I mean, I didn't have a prenup with my ex husband.
- [22:16]
Nicole Lapin
Was that a mistake?
- [22:17]
Kelly Ben Simone
No, no. Because I mean, I had money coming in, he had money coming in, and, you know, I just genuinely wanted to, you know, move forward and, you know, money wasn't the impetus. Like, I didn't marry him for money and I wasn't divorcing him for money. I was divorcing him for freedom and to raise my kids and to give them the greatest life ever. And I just didn't feel like, you know, being with him was doing that. So I don't necessarily, I don't think of it like that. Like, some women are like, oh my God, money, which is great.
- [22:50]
Nicole Lapin
Or you could flip the script, right, and say, like, this is an empowering thing. I'm a woman, I make my own money. Like, I need to protect my own stuff.
- [22:58]
Kelly Ben Simone
Right? Well, there's, there's two sides of it. I mean, I definitely raise my kids with good values and a sense of self and they've always worked. And, you know, my daughter's worked through college and they've, you know, done everything from like babysat to what, you know what, like bartending, waitressing. Like, they've done it all. Personally, I don't know. I mean, it's like I don't judge people, but I don't marry for the ring. Like, I, you know, married because he's, you know, I married my ex husband because I thought he was amazing, more human I was. If I thought that I was marrying for the ring, like, I would have gotten a bigger ring.
- [23:32]
Nicole Lapin
I think some people think of it that, you know, you, you, if you get divorced or if something happens, it's like having insurance. You don't want the state to decide. You just want to be in control of what happens. You can throw it in the fire or whatever.
- [23:46]
Kelly Ben Simone
So.
- [23:46]
Nicole Lapin
So would you get married again?
- [23:48]
Kelly Ben Simone
Definitely, yeah. I mean, if we're talking about like your inheritance, like your family's inheritance or something like that. Like, I don't. That's fair for, you know, for an ex to get that, that's not fair. But when you bring something to a relationship, and you are in the relationship, and you're. You're going under contract. You know, it's a transaction. At the end of the day, it's a legal contract. I'm going to marry you, and this is what we're going to do. And here's the terms of the contract. I mean, that's what it is. So if you don't like the terms of the contract, you probably shouldn't have got bonds in the first place.
- [24:21]
Nicole Lapin
So you're out dating?
- [24:22]
Kelly Ben Simone
Yes.
- [24:23]
Nicole Lapin
How's that going?
- [24:24]
Kelly Ben Simone
It's going well.
- [24:24]
Nicole Lapin
Are you on the apps?
- [24:26]
Kelly Ben Simone
No. I have a boyfriend. I have a boyfriend. I have a really serious boyfriend.
- [24:29]
Nicole Lapin
Congratulations.
- [24:31]
Kelly Ben Simone
Thank you.
- [24:31]
Nicole Lapin
When you were dating, did men feel intimidated by you, do you think?
- [24:35]
Kelly Ben Simone
No.
- [24:36]
Nicole Lapin
By your network?
- [24:36]
Kelly Ben Simone
No. They're always trying to, like, take care of me. Men are always like, oh, let me take care of you. Like, they made me feel very insecure. Very insecure.
- [24:45]
Nicole Lapin
Because you want to take care of yourself, right?
- [24:46]
Kelly Ben Simone
Because it's like, you know, here I have these two girls, and what am I going to do? Just be like, oh, okay. Like, let me just, you know, hop into your arms with two guys. Ready, set. Here we go. You know, I felt a big responsibility, and people, you know, guys that I were dating were very, very assertive about, you know, taking care of me. Made me very insecure. Not to say that I don't. I don't appreciate it, but I felt like, kind of like it was like, okay, this is the amount of money you're going to get every month. And I was like, what? Wow?
- [25:18]
Nicole Lapin
Or you didn't want to show that kind of paradigm to your kids too, right?
- [25:22]
Kelly Ben Simone
I just didn't. Didn't. I mean, the whole thing just really. I didn't, like, didn't agree with me. So.
- [25:27]
Nicole Lapin
With your. With your man.
- [25:28]
Kelly Ben Simone
But some people really like that. Like, some people are like, great. Like, at least I know what I'm getting. Like, you know, I mean, again, like, we're talking, you know, honestly, like, some women just really like that. I just. That was just never, like, I wasn't raised like that. I'm. If I told my father, by the way, I'm marrying this guy and he's going to give me X amount of dollars per my daughter. My father would be like, I, you know, spent all this money on this great education for you to think like, that.
- [25:52]
Nicole Lapin
You went to Columbia to.
- [25:53]
Kelly Ben Simone
He would not be. He. No, he passed. And he would not be happy. He would want me to, like, have a partner and to build. He would Want me? Yeah, he would. Want me to build. I don't. I think that there's. There has to, like, you know, women have to be able to be doing something that really, like, ignites them and makes them feel whole so that the relationship where what started off is, you know, it ignited for a reason. And then all of a sudden, you know, you go into this transaction, you sign this piece of paper, this, you know, stone goes on your finger, and all of a sudden the dynamics change, you know, And I think that people get lost. And I think it's not about the money. I think it's about they just get personally just and emotionally lost. I mean, I mean, I know we're talking about money for you, but I mean, I think of it more like an emotional way where, you know, I have a lot of empathy for both women and men who are getting, you know, get lost in relationships. And I don't want someone to be in a relationship with me that feels like that, you know, for someone like me. I just, you know, I've waited so long to be with the right person. And, you know, I've met a lot of really great guys, but they're definitely not the right person for me. And, you know, I just want to have respect for my. For my partner, and I want him to, you know, do everything that he wants to do, and I want to do the same.
- [27:10]
Nicole Lapin
And do you believe in like a co creation, talking about work or having him help you with.
- [27:16]
Kelly Ben Simone
Oh, absolutely.
- [27:16]
Nicole Lapin
Connections or stuff like that?
- [27:18]
Kelly Ben Simone
Of course. And I think that's really important too. It's like you, you know, support each other. You have to be a supportive spouse. I mean, you can't just be like, oh, just come over here. Let me just, you know, like Shel Silverstein, where like, all of a sudden the giving tree is like this little stump. Like, that's not fair.
- [27:34]
Nicole Lapin
Yeah, it's give and take.
- [27:35]
Kelly Ben Simone
Listen, I mean, we're talking about finances, but I think that, like, there's nothing wrong with being in love. There's nothing wrong with that. You don't have to get married for money. You don't have to get married because you need to, like, live and move into an apartment. It's like, it's so nice to have someone like you as a role model who can talk to women about finances. Because it's something that's daunting. And I've had to deal with it all my life. I don't talk about it. I don't. You know, I know a lot, you know, like a lot of the Housewives are like, I made all this money and they're throwing it around, and. And all these women, like, are watching, and they're just kind of like, what. What about me? Like, I can't even pay bills. And you know what I mean? So it's hard. It's hard to see all of that. So I just want, you know, women to be excited about what they have and who they are and, you know, to, like, recognize that there are checks and balances and the money that goes in, the money that goes out, and just to try to be mindful of what they're doing. Yeah.
- [28:27]
Nicole Lapin
I think how people are in different parts of their relationship, if they're avoidant or whatever, it just transfers over to how you approach money, too. But it sounds like you're saying to viewers or watchers of the housewives, maybe don't emulate what you see. Don't be as frivolous as what you're watching on the show.
- [28:45]
Kelly Ben Simone
Right, right. But, I mean, at the same time, you shouldn't be, like, you know, be. You know, I need to be rich in order to be, you know, to feel good. Because it's, you know, there's so many more things in, you know, to be happy. And, you know, I've had so many iterations of my life, and I've been through so much, you know, so many, like, peaks and valleys, and I don't feel I still, to this day, believe in love and believe in, like, taking care of myself and taking care of other people.
- [29:10]
Nicole Lapin
Yeah. What's one financial piece of advice you would give your former self?
- [29:14]
Kelly Ben Simone
It's just what I tell myself today. It's just like, you know, there's a little for me, a little for the. For Uncle Sam, and then a little to put away. Yeah. And I'm always, like, thinking of my girls, like, what we're going to do for them, and just, like. Just to be balanced about it. Because, like, I mean, what you were saying before about, like, you know, to live under your means, some people just can't do that. Some people just, you know, it's like, you know, my father came from absolutely nothing, and he gave us so much education, integrity, you know, healthy mindset, and he loved. Lived way above his means. Way above his means. But he created like, we were his legacy, so whatever he spent was, well, we were his stocks. Just kind of like a different kind.
- [29:59]
Nicole Lapin
Of way of investing. Way of investing money.
- [30:04]
Kelly Ben Simone
Rehab is a production of Money News Network. I'm your host, Nicole Lapin. Our executive producer is Morgan Lavoy do you need some money rehab? And let's be honest, we all do. So email us your money questions@money rehaboneynewsnetwork.com to have your question answered on the show or even have a one on one intervention with me. And follow us on Instagram at Money News and TikTok at Money News Network for exclusive video content. And lastly, thank you. Seriously, thank you for listening and investing in yourself, which is the most important investment you can make. This episode is brought to you by Progressive Insurance. Fiscally responsible Financial geniuses. Monetary magicians. These are things people say about drivers who switch their car insurance to Progressive and save hundreds. Visit progressive.com to see if you can save Progressive Casualty Insurance Company and affiliates. Potential savings will vary. Not available in all states or situations.