
The four girls are the first ones to arrive in the mansion. This is where they might meet the love of their lives - it’s going to be a big weekend for them. The first dating challenge for the four girls is to fill up an empty box with something that shows off their aura. Afterwards, men will come in and pick the girls based only off the boxes they have prepared. Jasmine instantly takes off her bra and places it proudly in the box. She says it’s the biggest asset that she has and clearly she knows what she’s talking about. The four men walk in and instantly fight over the bra box. The entire weekend results in the most chaotic dating show I have ever seen. A banana having the time of its life on camera. A full mental breakdown over a re-coupling and a game that results in one of the men taking home the title of “King of Sperm.” Welcome to the Chinese version of “Single’s Inferno.” It is the worst and best thing I have ever watched.
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Stephanie
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Tiffany
Can I go quack, quack.
Stephanie
I will be divorcing my husband in the next 24 hours. No, I'm just kidding. No. Okay, listen, here's the thing. And it's not even about my husband. I love my husband. He's hot. He's. Why'd you look at me like that?
Tiffany
Hello?
Stephanie
Why'd you look at me like you're waiting for 20 more adjectives? Okay, I could go on the rest of the episode. He makes me very happy. However, we have irreconcilable differences now because I got into a fight with his sister the other day. My sister in law, her name is Tiffany. And let me explain what's been happening. I'm sitting there and we were looking for something to watch and I'm like, I have literally watched every single reality TV show. I got her into American reality TV shows. Her reaction to Too Hot to Handle was the most insane thing I've ever seen. You would have thought, thought that I was like on pornhub.com or something. She was like, what's happening? It was crazy. Okay, she was blushing, she was hiding, but also peeking and watching every moment of it. And then come in tomorrow, the next day to watch another episode. It was a lot. And then we watched Singles Inferno together. And I told her, listen, this is the thing about Singles Inferno. There's an angst to it for multiple episodes. You just don't know where everybody's at. There's so much being said with nothing being said at all. And she goes, oh, I actually know a reality show. It's the Chinese Singles Inferno. So I said, give it to me, give it to me. We start watching it, right? And it's called the Beauty and the Best. And I was like, what does that even Mean beauty and the best.
Tiffany
Yeah, not the beast.
Stephanie
No, Beauty and the best. So I'm like, oh, this is going to be good. They're going to have the hottest people known and like China's got a billion people to choose from. They probably have some of the hottest people ever. So get them on tv. I want to see them date. Then we get in the four girls. We're watching this in real time. She's like translating for me and I'm like, let me get the angst in here. Let's watch this. I'm sitting there with my little chips. Okay, let me introduce you to the show that has changed my brain chemistry. That made me get into a throw down showdown with my sister in law and I felt like I was having a brain aneurysm whilst watching this. It is the most what the fuck reality show I've ever laid my eyes on. Love is Blind is so tame. This is weird.
Tiffany
Sure.
Stephanie
Yes.
Tiffany
Okay, good way or a bad way?
Stephanie
So bad. So good. So bad and yet so good.
Tiffany
So it's the best.
Stephanie
Yeah, it might be the best show that I've ever seen in my life. Okay, first we have the girls that are introduced to the tv and I'm like, okay, I get half of it. The beauty. And now we haven't seen the best yet. We haven't seen the guys yet. But we see the beauty. We get Suzy. Suzy is very straightforward. She's not afraid to say what's on her mind. She likes.
Tiffany
So what's the premise, by the way? Do we know the premise or you're just meeting the girls right now.
Stephanie
Okay, the premise is this. Four girls, four guys in a mansion for three days and two nights, they have to share a room. So the four girls share a room with their prospective partner. They have to share a bed, they share a room.
Tiffany
So you're saying the girl and the guys all share one room? All eight of them.
Stephanie
One girl, one guy in each room. There's four rooms. Oh, and then after the end of episode one, they kick out a couple. Or you can leave. If you decide, you know what, we want to go date in the real world now, then you can leave this show. And then by episode two, new people come in. Episode three, new people come in. And it's just a revolving door of people in and out of the house and they're sharing rooms, they're acting like couples. It feels like four couples go camping in a mansion in the woods. That's the vibe of the show. And then randomly a host will show up like A little fairy godmother, like a fairy godfather. And then be like, hey guys, I'm going to need you to play some crazy games so that I can get the viewership up. Okay? You're going to do some nasty, nasty stuff on screen today. Okay? Now we just get first introduced to the four girls. We've got Susie, very straightforward. She's asked to describe her ideal type and she says, I really like guys that are cute and introverted, but they don't look cute and introverted, meaning she wants them to look like dominant sex CEO jacked motherf, but be cute personality wise. Then we have Amy. Amy used to be a female guest on another Chinese reality show. I've been told it's called if youf Are the One. I've actually seen clips of the show. Okay. It's like one of the most well liked shows and she's one of the most well liked guests on the show. And then next we have Jasmine. She, she, she has really big boobs. Yeah, she was like talking for three minutes. I couldn't find any subtitles on this show. She was introducing herself, she was saying a lot. And then I paused it and I said, tiffany, what did she say? And Tiffany goes, she has really big boobs. And then she played it again and I said for three minutes. That's all she said, is she's got really big boobs. So Jasmine is very pretty and very voluptuous. That's all I know at this point. You're going in raw, same as me. Next we have Lulu. Lulu is considered one of the most well liked participants in the show because she's very expressive, she likes to express herself, she does the facial emotions. You know, guys typically like her because they're like, she thinks I'm funny. Nobody else laughs at my jokes except for her. So over the course of the next three days, these women are going to embark on a journey of self discovery. They're going to undergo a series of tasks in the pursuit of true love. Right? But before they can be paired with their male guest, each woman needs to do something that is a token of their essence. So when these four men come in, they're not going to see the girls. They're going to be presented four different boxes. They open the box and there's going to be an item that represents each woman. And based off of the item, these men are just going to choose the item and it's going to lead them to the girl's room. So they don't get to see the girls. They don't get to talk to the girls, get paired based off of the item.
Tiffany
Like a blind box.
Stephanie
Yes, a blind box. That's a good one. Okay, but. But this is when I knew. This is when I knew that Tiffany had lied to me. Okay. This is when I knew Singles Inferno was not Singles Inferno ing in China. Because the first thing that I see is the boxes are out in front of the girls. And one of the girls decides, I'm going to give them the essence of my breath. And she gets a bottle, an empty bottle, and just shut up. Her breath sh. Into the bottle. It's foggy. It's foggy in there. Her breath is in there. And she puts the lid on and she puts the glass back in the box. And I was like. I pause it. I keep. I keep thumping the space bar, looking at Tiffany, and she's looking at me like, you said you wanted Singles Inferno, so I'm giving you Singles Inferno. And I'm like, this girl cannot be serious right now. And then she'll lean over and press the space button.
Tiffany
Wait, which car is this?
Stephanie
I'm talking about your sister.
Tiffany
No, no, no, I'm saying which girl? Like, into the bottle.
Stephanie
Lulu.
Tiffany
Lulu, the expressive one?
Stephanie
Yeah, yeah. She was expressing her love with her breath. Like, can you imagine sniffing it? I actually want to try that. Does the scent last? Does the scent last? If I. If I die tomorrow and all you had was a vial of my breath, what would you do with it?
Tiffany
Probably make, like, nuclear weapon.
Stephanie
That is so rude. I'm an avid flosser. I have really great dental hygiene, actually.
Tiffany
Okay, I'll hold the bottle in front of me. Be like, back off. Back off right now. You don't know what I'm holding.
Stephanie
Would you rather have a vial of my breath or a vial of the natural gases that my body produces when I eat a whole batch of cauliflow? What? Moving on. And then this is what I knew. This is when I knew everything was gonna go downhill. She gives her the breath, and I'm still like, you know what? Maybe this could be romantic. Maybe I am mistaken. Maybe this is just how they do it in China. Jasmine stands up, and she's reaching behind her. She's got both hands behind her, and in one swoop motion, she takes off her bra.
Tiffany
They're huge.
Stephanie
One part of her bra, half of her bra. One cup could fit my face. Okay, they're huge. And she just slams it down onto the box.
Tiffany
That must be really, really big.
Stephanie
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. They're huge. Yeah.
Tiffany
She left her bra yeah.
Stephanie
And she also in the confessional because, like, you know how the reality shows, they cut from that to the confessionals. And this is, like, the most unhinged reality show I've ever seen. She cuts to the confessional, and she goes, I just want to see how the guy performs tonight. If it's good, I'll let him sleep on the carpet. If it's bad, I'll let him sleep on the toilet. Or it depends on his looks, really. And we're not perform. Yeah, we're not. I don't know what he's performing. We're only, like, three minutes into the show, mind you. Okay. I can only hope that she's talking about quantum physics and algebra. Other than Jasmine, all the other girls actually seem kind of nervous by the time that they put their little artifacts.
Tiffany
What is it? What's the other two?
Stephanie
Oh, it was like, nothing. Yeah, nothing important. What? I forget. Honestly, it was like. So, listen, me and Tiffany were having a field day with the bra. The other two were like afterthoughts. They were like, chill people. Yeah. They were just like, here's a letter of my devotion and love. It was like, very normal stuff. Here's a piece of chocolate. Cause I love chocolate. Yeah. And then Jasmine was honestly the stunner. All the guys. The four guys walk in. Can I just say something about it? You know what? No. Let me tell you what the girls are doing. They are all each escorted into their rooms, separate rooms, and there's cameras all up in the rooms. And the rooms have, like. You know when you go to a school and you see the cafeteria, and there is that door that swings in and out. Like, you just push it and it swings in. But it's also got that circle window. Yeah. Those are the doors to the bedroom. I'm like, whoa, what the is happening right now? This is kind of weird. All the four girls go into their little bedrooms. And I did have to pause it. And I said, tiffany, was this film, like, 20 years ago? And she said, no, it's actually recent. And I said, oh, was this, like, a small network? Because this feels like a YouTuber budget film. She said, actually, you know, that bald guy, he's like one of the most famous hosts. He probably charges so much money to be on this show. Host the show. And I was like, oh, so this is like, a creative decision that they made.
Tiffany
What's wrong with it? I'm sorry. What is it?
Stephanie
Everything about the show feels like it's from 30 years ago. House. The way that it's filmed Everything is just crazy. This show is crazy. I felt like I was in the back rooms of reality shows. And it's crazy because this show did pretty well in China. So I'm like, okay, there's got to be something I'm missing. So she's like, just watch. Just watch. I press play again. The four girls are in there and they're hiding. What? They're getting shy. They're like, what if it's called beauty and the best. They're bringing in the best looking guys. They're bringing in the best talent, they're bringing in the best marriage material men. I might walk out of here with my future husband. But also, what if nobody chooses my artifact because they're too busy ogling Jasmine's bra and nobody wants to pair with me? And then the guy comes in and he doesn't even like me. What am I gonna do? Then they're hiding in there in their rooms. And then we see the men walk up to the house. Music plays, Slow mo hits. You see their feet first before it starts panning up. And they walk in like the world's most. World's most diverse C pop band of middle aged men.
Tiffany
Shut up.
Stephanie
One guy, shut the front door. One guy looks like he just walked out of Universal Studios. Not set, not the filming set. Not an actor. He looks like he walked out of the theme park after buying all the merchandise that he could find in the clearance section. He's wearing a the Amazing Spider Man T shirt, but like it's a long sleeve shirt, you know, where it's like, like white on the torso and then the sleeves are red and he's wearing a red backwards cap. He's got long hair. He looks like he's never talked to a girl in his life. Okay, and then next to him you got a middle aged balding man who looks like he teaches violin or he teaches like the theory of relativity or something to his house plants in his free time. He's a little bit shorter. He looks like a professor at your local community college, but really stressed out because he is really balding. And I have nothing against men that are balding. Okay? I think they are some of the sweetest men alive. Causation is not correlation, however, it's just weird. And then the third guy kind of looks like a college student. And then the fourth guy looks like the college students. His dad that's going to be dropping him off during college welcome week and his like help setting up his dorm. But he's not the dilf. He's not the hot dad. Every time he bends over to help his son unbox his boxes, you get a sneak peek of his craft. Like, that's what that guy looks like. No, I. This is. These are the four men that are coming in. These are the four men.
Tiffany
Wait, so the girls look normal, right?
Stephanie
They're pretty, yeah.
Tiffany
Okay. Girls are normal.
Stephanie
Yeah. And the guys look like they're not the most conventionally attractive.
Tiffany
So they didn't go through like a little elimination. They were chosen or what's going on?
Stephanie
They were chosen.
Tiffany
Okay.
Stephanie
These are the best. I don't know what pool of applicants they were choosing from, but rest assured, these were. Were the best. They said, okay. And you know what? That's very rude. These men could be the sweetest men on mankind. Right. So let's see if they are. Let's see if they are.
Tiffany
Are they like rich?
Stephanie
No. So these men walk in and they all immediately. And I. They all immediately start fighting for the bra. How, How? This is mine. And I'm already like, I don't. I don't think I like this. I keep pressing the space bar and then I keep looking at Tiffany and I just keep going. And then she keeps leaning over and pressing it to start the show all over again. Okay, now is the one that pairs with Susie. Sam is the college dorm room dad with the butt crack.
Tiffany
Okay, hold on, slow down, Susie. Which one? Susie again.
Stephanie
Straightforward Susie. She said she wanted a hot, domineering guy that looks, but that's personality is cute. And then she gets college dorm dad. Sam. Nothing's wrong with that. He's a 33 year old man and during his confessional he very proudly states, I have zero experience with girls. I have never kissed a girl. I've never held hands with the girl. So, yeah. Sam shows up at Susie's door. She was so nervous, she was like hiding behind the couch. She opens the door and immediately it cuts to her confessional. And she said, I don't know why the f. C.K. i was nervous. Like, really? This is. I'm so confused. All the girls, when you see that confessionals after they meet the men, they're so confused. They're like kind of laser eyeballing the producers. Like we're gonna. Is the camera still running? Because I. I'm about to commit a very serious felony crime right now against you guys. I just want to know, do you.
Tiffany
Think they all thought that they got the worst pic?
Stephanie
Oh, yeah.
Tiffany
Are they going to see the other ones?
Stephanie
Oh, yeah, soon. Yeah, soon.
Tiffany
Okay. Okay.
Stephanie
So Susie, during her first confessional she says about Sam, I think he has the definition of a geek, the way he looks. And I paused it, and Tiffany translated, and I said, I think Suzy is too straightforward. I think Suzy is really rude. And then I went to Google and I typed in G, E, E, K. And then Sam's picture popped up. Shut the F up. No, no. Almost literally the same. And I said, she is mean, but factually correct. So I have nothing else to say at this point. This was. Honestly, it was kind of mean. There were obviously no red flags from Sam. Like, I thought his personality was very cute. However, it just was kind of awkward because he really, again, has no dating experience with girls. And I guess Susie was. Was trying to, I don't know, make it steamy or something. She was testing the waters. What? She's in the bathroom, and she says, hey, Sam, could you pass me my bra? This is a trick, you know. What do you mean?
Tiffany
If he's standing inside with the camera.
Stephanie
Pointing to the door.
Tiffany
Gotcha.
Stephanie
This is a trick, you know, if you also have no dating experience with men. But, like, it's supposed to make the guys all hot and steamy. Like, you know, like, Jasmine took off her bra, and everyone was obsessed. They were foaming at the mouth. You know, they were acting like little dogs with rabies. They're just. They're going crazy. So she's expecting Sam to be like, what do I do? What do I do? Right. I don't know how to describe Sam's reaction other than it appears that Susie and Sam had been married for 70 years. And Sam is in the middle of a very intense game of Scrabble, and his wife just asked him to get a glass of water. He looks very annoyed and, like, this is the most tedious thing. And he starts looking around like, okay, fine. He finds her bra, lacy, white, sexy. He grabs it with two fingers as if it is radioactive, as if it has spent its lifetime at Chernobyl and has just recently made its way back to its rightful owner. Susie. And he grabs it with two fingers like it's got a stench just emanating from it. He walks over to the bathroom, gives it to her, and says, you know, this is the second bra I've touched today.
Tiffany
Like, he's disgusted by it.
Stephanie
Yeah. And so Susie is so confused. Maybe he's still recovering from how big Jasmine's bra was. But Susie immediately runs to the confessional room, and she sits there in silence for a hot minute, like she's really rethinking every decision in her life that Led her to this point, and she just looks into the camera and says, no, no, he's gay. That works for. That works on everyone. He's gay. He's gay. He's gay. There's only one answer. He's gay. And the producers. Okay, okay. Now then we cut to Amy. Her partner is Andy. He's Sam's son. Not actually, but he's the one that looks like a regular college student. Okay. Andy shows up. Amy's like, you're whatever. He's like, you're whatever. And then both of them just turn into side characters for the rest of the episode. Okay. They're just kind of like, eh. I mean, you're okay. Right? Then nothing crazy happens. Then Jasmine, she's waiting by her door, braless, nipples out. No, I'm just kidding. I think she put on a new one. I don't know. Not that I was looking. Not that I was staring, pausing, analyzing. I'm just guessing. Okay. And then the door opens. In walks Universal Studios. Jason. That's what we're going to call him. Universal Studio. Yeah. But a lot of Chinese netizens call him Thailand Virgin.
Tiffany
Thailand Virgin?
Stephanie
Yeah. It's kind of weird. He's Thai, but I don't know how he went to Thailand. Okay. And he seems like a virgin. Yeah. He also states that he's a virgin. And a lot of the girls actually openly stated that their ideal type was a virgin. And I was really thrown off by that. I was. Let me tell you my mind. I had to pause that for a second. And then the way that Tiffany was trying to translate it to me without using the actual V word because, like, she was a little nervous to use that. So I was like, what's happening right now? What has he never done? And she's like, you know he's never done it. What you mean his taxes? Like, what has he never done? Okay, this is like so different.
Tiffany
Like his American Chihuahua phobia, bro. I do it like 52 times a day.
Stephanie
If I don't do it, I grow a third leg. And then things get rough, you know.
Tiffany
It'S like too hot to handle.
Stephanie
Right? Yes. Yeah.
Tiffany
It's like that the moment they stop, they're gonna die.
Stephanie
Yeah. Like life is no longer worth living.
Tiffany
Yeah.
Stephanie
It's crazy. And then. Yeah, but he. He picked Jasmine. He picked the bra.
Tiffany
So I was like, oh, he's ready to.
Stephanie
He's never done it, but he's ready to do it.
Tiffany
Yeah.
Stephanie
Yeah. So it's obvious he knows what he's in for and he first approaches Jasmine's huge assets.
Tiffany
What do you mean?
Stephanie
He just be kind of taking looks, you know what I mean? And then Jasmine does not hold back. She's very interested in Jason. She says look at our room.
Tiffany
Oh, she really likes the loves him. Oh really?
Stephanie
She's like look at our room. We can't even perform large movement exercises in here. Which is like a very convoluted thing to say. Imagine saying that to somebody. It's not even sexy anymore. What? Yeah, but she says what a pity we can't even do large exercises.
Tiffany
Like that's literally what she said verbatim.
Stephanie
Yeah, and I thought, I thought I was being dramatic. Right? Just wait. There will be a banana eating scene like you've never seen before. A banana eating scene like actual banana? You'll have to wait and see. Today's episode is sponsored by Acorns. The most valuable financial advice I've ever encountered is pay yourself first. This simple approach transforms saving into a non negotiable priority. You can easily do this with Acorns. Acorns is a financial wellness app that makes it easy to start saving and investing for your future. Acorns lets you get started with the money you've got right now. Even if all you've got is spare change, you don't need to be an expert. Acorns recommends a diversified portfolio that can help you weather all of the market's ups and downs. You just need to stick with it and Acorns makes that easy too. Acorns automatically invest your money, giving it a chance to grow with time. Sign up now and join the over 14 million all time customers who have already saved and invested over $25 billion with Acorns. Head to acorns.com rotten or download the Acorns app to get started. Paid client Endorsement Compensation provides incentive to Positively promote Acorns Tier 4 compensation provided investing involves risk. Acorns Advisors LLC and SEC registered investment advisor. View important disclosures@acorns.com Ratin Lights Camera Innovation Walt Disney Studios chose advanced 5G solutions from T Mobile for Business to transform the movie making process. Together we kept a remote production hub in Hawaii and sync with a team in California to bring Lilo and Stitch to theaters this summer. This is picture perfect collaboration. This is Walt Disney Studios with T Mobile for business. Take your business further@t mobile.com now. Just got a new puppy or kitten. Congrats. But also yikes. Between crates, beds, toys, treats and those first few vet visits, you've probably already dropped a small fortune which is where Lemonade Pet insurance comes in. It helps cover vet costs so you can focus on what's best for your new pet. The coverage is customizable, sign up is quick and easy, and your claims are handled in as little as three seconds. Lemonade offers a package specifically for puppies and kittens. Get a'llemonade.com pet your future self will thank you. Your pet won't. They don't know what insurance is. Jason is so lost. What type of exercises? Exercises. Between the two of us, we can only make small movements. Don't you think? And he's looking around. Yeah, it's kind of small. I guess so. He's so lost. They're not even on the same planet right now. They're not even talking about the same thing. Jason genuinely thinks that this is a fitness guru in front of him. Okay. And she's ready to jump his bones. But of course, we save the best for last. Lulu is waiting for her partner, and she's just anxious on her tippy toes, just like, who's gonna walk in through that door? Is it gonna be my prince charming? And in walks what every netizen has described as the dominant CEO of this episode of this season. You know, the dominant CEO personality. Fifty Shades of Grey.
Tiffany
Yeah. Christian Grey.
Stephanie
It's the Daddy Roland. Daddy Roland.
Tiffany
You know?
Stephanie
Yeah. It's like the. Every dark romance, mafia boss, dominant CEO. They tell you what you're gonna eat for dinner, and it's so hot. But if anybody else did it, you'd be like, hey, shut the up. But when he does it, you're like, okay, Daddy, I guess I'll eat that for dinner. That is.
Tiffany
Eat what for dinner?
Stephanie
You know what?
Tiffany
Shut up.
Stephanie
And in walks MIT graduate Oya from the United States. Started from the bottom, tech CEO and VIP client at multiple airline companies. He needs everyone to know that he is diamond medallion at multiple various different airliners.
Tiffany
That's a weird flex, I know, but okay.
Stephanie
No, it's gonna get better. Okay.
Tiffany
Okay.
Stephanie
So he speaks multiple languages, and he's very different. He's very special. He is the one and only balding violin teacher that I was just telling you about. He walks in through the door, and I kid you not, Lu Lulu can't help but break the fourth wall. She turns to the camera in the room and she says, what is this? She says, what is this? She doesn't even run to the confessional room. She just. What is this? I need to talk to the manager right now. Okay.
Tiffany
Did they get scammed? Okay, this is the Chinese single's Inferno.
Stephanie
Boom.
Tiffany
Here comes your substitute teacher.
Stephanie
Yes. I'm looking at Tiffany and she's looking at me in silence, just nodding like, yeah, keep watching. Okay, so we press play again. This is CEO Zuzu from Gwangju. Zuzu is his name, he's Zoo, but I like to call him Zuzu from Gwangju. Okay, now no.
Tiffany
Okay, okay, got it. He looks. Okay, got it. He looks like a body. Body violin teacher.
Stephanie
What you said yes.
Tiffany
Okay.
Stephanie
Yes, he does. And like, you know how they. You know how in like reality shows, dating reality shows, they always have like the picture of the person and they flash it on the screen and it's like Zuzu the CEO, you know, and then it's always like, ding, you know, the picture. Yeah, his pictures.
Tiffany
Wild.
Stephanie
These teachers are wild. Okay, I just want to say.
Tiffany
Mifa.
Stephanie
What the is that? What? What's going on in your mind while I'm telling you? The craziest reality show is Zuzu.
Tiffany
That's all I hear.
Stephanie
Listen, I just want to say I feel like at points in this episode I sound rude because these men are not conventionally attractive. But just you wait. Just you wait because they be. They be trying to do too much. They are doing so much. These girls are beautiful on the inside and out. And some of these boys are just around and being disgusting. They're being vile human beings. And I just want to say the producers knew exactly what they were doing. They do exactly what they were doing casting this crew. So don't come at me, go at them. Because right after Lulu does a 180, breaks the fourth wall, stares me directly into my eyeballs and asks me, what is this? Okay? I said, I don't know. I'm sorry. They bring in Zuzu into the confessional, okay? All three strands of his hair and all. And he sits there. And the producers, they know exactly what they're doing. They ask him, so what do you think? And he says, I think our appearances are extremely compatible. Not only that, I think I can also open up Lulu's eyes to the new level of, you know, life and stuff.
Tiffany
Airline status.
Stephanie
Yeah. So Zoo, Zuzu, he decides to break the ice with Lulu. He says, lulu, let me introduce myself. And he slides over a two by one. Two by one. You know what a two by one is?
Tiffany
A business card.
Stephanie
A business card. He slides over his business card as a way to enhance his charisma. He tells the confessional the purpose of giving her his business card is to indicate his position as a CEO and to reveal that his company is from Guangzhou. Guangzhou is a tier one city, which is a good city. Tier ones are the best cities in China. However. However, it's not New York City. It's not Los Angeles. This. It's like being like, I'm from Atlanta. No, I know. But the Chinese netizens were saying it's not that good to be doing that. They were saying it's not that good to be flexing on your city like that.
Tiffany
Oh, it's not like you're. It says like, oh, I live at like Upper east side of a Manhattan.
Stephanie
Yeah, okay. Yeah. But he was on everyone else that wasn't on Guangzhou. So that's why people said, it's not that good. It's not that good. Sit your ass down. So the two sit down in these. I don't know why. Again, they're given like these kids tables. They're sitting down in what I can only imagine is a playset for my nieces. And they look incredibly awkward sitting there.
Tiffany
But I do think Zuzu and Lulu.
Stephanie
Yeah, Zuzu and Lulu. Their knees are like up to their chins and they're just sitting there eating snacks from a table that is underneath them, basically off the floor. It's ridiculous. And so while eating the snacks, Lulu is trying to be nice, even though you can clearly tell she's very active. Upset. She says, so you have your own company? Yeah. Started from the bottom. Okay. Lulu tries to keep the conversation going because, I don't know, she's just trying to be a polite person. Oh, your business card said you're from Guangzhou. I heard Gwangju is super expensive, which. What's a normal reaction to that? If you're like. If you're from New York City and people say you're from New York. I heard New York is so expensive. Normal people go, bruh, don't even get me started. It's so expensive. It's so stupid. It's ridiculous. Right? And he goes, it's not that expensive. You know, if you go a little bit outside of Gwangju, it's only about $4,000 per square meter.
Tiffany
Okay.
Stephanie
You know what this reminds me of? It's like, it's not that expensive. It's only $2,000 per square footage. It's like, that's clearly f. Cking expensive.
Tiffany
Oh, he's. Oh, he's bragging.
Stephanie
Yeah. But also the fact that you know those very specific details and then also feel the bring it up in such a casual conversation. It's like, oh, hey, I really like your bag. And they're like, oh, it's not that expensive, actually, it's only $20 million. And then you're like, I never even asked you. Okay, I was just saying. I was just saying. So at this point, Lulu is already. She's had enough. She does another double take, side take to the camera and rolls her eyes.
Tiffany
In front of him.
Stephanie
Yeah, yeah, in front of his face. The conversation swiftly transitions to discussing hobbies, which Lulu is again just trying to have a normal human to human conversation. And she brings up the fact that she loves traveling. And Zuzu's response is, oh, yeah, me too. I usually use the points and miles from airline companies. Every time I fly with an airline, I will always sign up for their membership. That way I will get points every time I buy that airline's ticket. By using those points, I get hotels and I save a lot of money. But the way that he's saying it is as if he flies private everywhere. It's just the weirdest thing. He's got this dominant SEO energy. He might as well be leaned all the way back in this kiddie chair with his legs spread, mansplaining. How stonks work. That's the vibe. And Lulu just wants to leave. In her confessional, all she says is, he's a show off. I want to leave. I literally want to leave. So after all of this, all the couples are asked to gather for dinner. And this is the first time that they're going to be seeing each other's parts partners. And this is when all the girls, they be sharing some side eyes with all the girls. They'd be looking at each other like, did you know what was happening? Did anybody know what was happening? Because I didn't and I'm not happy about this. So they all gather and this is their chance to expand the other options because they can later decide if they want to switch couplings. This is not permanent, right? They can switch coupling. So the first three couples to arrive are Lulu and Zuzu, Susie and Sam, and Amy and Andy. The minute Zuzu lays his beady little eyes on Amy, he's in love. She was on the other reality show, remember?
Tiffany
Oh, okay.
Stephanie
Now he doesn't play it cool.
Tiffany
Does he know Amy?
Stephanie
Oh, yeah.
Tiffany
Oh, he knew Amy.
Stephanie
He goes, is your name Amy? I watched, I watched you on if you are the one. I watched you and I remember you that time because you went, you went with Jason, right? That was his name. Because I have mutual friends who are friends guy that you left with. He's an abc. He's An American born Chinese. And I just came back from studying in America and I, I, I was in America and I came back and after listening to his speech about you, you know, like, it just. Yeah, Hi.
Tiffany
So creepy.
Stephanie
Yeah. And everyone is like, whoa, this is kind of weird. It's like stalkerish to the point where someone tries to laugh it off and say, wow, you sure know a lot about Amy. And everyone is laughing because that's so creepy. But Zuza is like, oh, oh, that's good. Let's talk about something serious, guys. Let's talk about something serious. And he's just staring all of them down. I have points at China Southern Airlines that I can buy all of yalls tickets at discounted prices and they will all be business class. I have enough points to take every single one of us to Thailand right now.
Tiffany
Okay.
Stephanie
You want to take us all to Thailand? Sure. We can make plans and everyone's eyes. Zuzu is a fucking weirdo. He's an egotistical, creepy weirdo, but he genuinely thinks in his mind. Okay. You know how, like, when you have a really small dog, like I have a really small dog. And she's very returned. She, she does not have a single muscle in her body. She's just all love and blubber. Okay. But when she goes outside, something in her brain clicks where she believes she's a coyote. She believes she's in the backyard huntress. She's hunting down the prey. The prey are just tennis balls. It's not that serious. But that's what she thinks of herself. He thinks he is the dominant CEO, sexy, alpha, like, just oozing with charisma. Oozing, dripping money. Like people could shake his pants and just coins be tink, tink, tinking, falling out of there. That's what he believes.
Tiffany
So he want to fly them out.
Stephanie
Yeah. He said, I'll fly you out. Business class, baby.
Tiffany
With points.
Stephanie
Yeah, with my points. Of course. I'm a diamond medallion. Like, it's very bizarre. And everybody is put off by this. Jasmine even jokes at Lulu because this is Lulu and Zuzu and your boyfriend is so attractive. Yeah. And she says it in a mean way, but Zuzu is like, yeah, sit on my lap. He doesn't say that.
Tiffany
So Jasmine's being like, sarcastic.
Stephanie
Yeah. About Zuzu in front of Zuzu.
Tiffany
And then Zuzu took it as a compliment.
Stephanie
Yeah. Zuzu is like, she wants to sit on my lap and call me daddy six days of the week. No, forget. She wants to, to be my secretary. Who's like, oops, I dropped a pen, sir. Yeah, yeah. And everyone is like, this guy is living in his own reality. That's what Chinese netizens are saying now. I digress. In the middle of the conversation, Amy starts smiling at Lulu and asking her to leave the table for a private conversation. And seeing the two girls leave, Zuzu and Amy's partner, Adam or Andy. Who? College kid. He's not that important. There's only one scene in this entire episode, and it's him touching himself. We're gonna get there. What? They decide that they're gonna have their own conversation right now. Zuzu immediately tells Andy, hey, I want Amy. Let's switch. And Andy is like, that's actually really good because I've been into Lulu, so we should just swap partners. And the fact that the two girls left first, they're probably thinking about swapping partners too. Then we cut to the two girls, right? And Amy is like, I am so sorry. Are you okay? He's the worst.
Tiffany
Who said that?
Stephanie
Amy, to Lulu about Zuzu. She says, I feel so bad for you. Your partner is so weird and annoying. And Lulu says, I know. When he first walked in, I felt so afraid. Shut the front door. I don't know what's happening. And every time scenes like this happen, I have to just look at t Vinnie, and she's looking at me, and I'm looking at her, and then she, in slow motion, reaches over and hits my space bar to keep playing the show again. It's just a disaster. So at night, when Amy and Andy go back to their rooms, she's so weirded out by Zuzu that she even says, the guy sitting opposite you, Zuzu, don't you think he's very weird? Now there's so much going on in Andy's mind because the plan was to swap partners, but now Amy's like, I don't know. With Zuzu. So he's like, what do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What can I say in this moment to make her feel good about this? He's not a bad person. I think he's interested in you. Huh? Oh, God, I don't know. Okay, what else can Andy say about Suzu? He turns to Amy, very serious.
Tiffany
He sell. He's trying to sell. Okay.
Stephanie
Okay. Smart people are usually bald, right? What the. I mean, right? Would you mind if I switched with him? And she said, what if. If Zuzu and I switch, is that okay? No, no, no. You cannot switch with him. I will cry. I will cry. And she genuinely, genuinely seems distraught she's not against. She's not even just against Zuzu. She is genuinely terrified of this man. And so am I. So am I. So at the end of the night, all of the couples were instructed to write on a whiteboard all of their rules inside this room. The girls write the rules inside that room. So, for example, you can write, the guy must sleep on the couch. No sharing the bed. For Amy and Andy, it was, turn off the lights before bed, don't watch each other, shower, and keep a minimum distance of 5ft. They're social distancing. Okay. However, after their conversation about Zuzu, Amy storms up to the whiteboard and writes another rule. Don't change partners. You can't really enforce the rule, but that just shows you how much she does not want to be with Zuzu. And of course, Zuzu is oblivious to all of this. Okay. And he's just. He's doing a lot. Talking about being a. Yeah.
Tiffany
Does he think all of them want him?
Stephanie
He thinks he is the catch. He thinks they're all just, like, salivating in their beds thinking about him. Yeah. He thinks that they're all looking up rent prices in Gwangju right now to go live with him, to go live near him, just to be in the vicinity of him. So he starts. He's talking to Lulu. I just wanted to come back to China to start my own company, okay? Lulu's like, I really don't give a fly in rat's ass about sh. Okay, I just want to go home. I just want to go home. But she's very nice. She says, yeah. I mean, it sounds like you're very capable. I heard MIT is very expensive. Well, I had a scholarship. How much would it be if you didn't have a scholarship? About 70 to 80,000. Oh, that's not bad. She says that's not bad because she's thinking reming B, which is still a lot.
Tiffany
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Stephanie
Right.
Tiffany
So if 70,000 RMB, then that would be US$10,000.
Stephanie
Yeah.
Tiffany
So she's saying US$10,000. Okay, that's not too bad.
Stephanie
Yeah. And then he gets very upset by that. He goes, by the way, that's in USD, not remming B. And she's like, whoa, okay, I'm sorry. Holy. She keeps looking at the camera like, are y' all seeing that? And I have to pause it and be like, oh, my God, Tiffany, what are we watching? So then he talks about his PhD. He talks about how he was working for a Japanese company, blah, blah, blah. He just, blah, blah, blah, Blah, blah, yapping away. And Lulu is like, does he do exactly.
Tiffany
I'm sorry, he's a CEO. He's a CEO of what's the company?
Stephanie
He didn't say he's a CEO.
Tiffany
Okay.
Stephanie
Tech company. But he's a CEO. That's all that matters, right? He is the CEO.
Tiffany
Okay.
Stephanie
Yeah, yeah, yeah. And so Lulu is like, oh, yeah, I heard you speak a lot of languages. Do you speak Japanese? Yeah. Oh, then how do you say this in Japanese? He just. Just be bullshitting. Because everyone. Netizen comments later are like, that is not how you say that in Japanese. So he's just out here.
Tiffany
Oh, he made something up.
Stephanie
It's like he does not speak Japanese. Oh, it's like me. I did see a comment that said, I love you, Stephanie, but your pronunciation of Spanish words is diabolical. So I guess it's like me trying to speak Spanish. I'm sorry, I have such a hard time with pronunciation. It's really bad. And I try to work on it every day. Literally. There will be days I sit at dinner and I'm like, guys, help me with my pronunciation of things. But he just be saying shit. So everyone is like, God, this guy is the worst. Meanwhile, the only people who have chemistry are Jasmine and Jason. Jasmine.
Tiffany
Oh, the.
Stephanie
Jasmine is like. She's got a lot of assets. And then Jason has never touched assets. Assets before in his life. Oh, and he's still wearing his the Amazing Spider man shirt. Can I tell you exactly what Jasmine and Jason look like to me? And I mean this with as much admiration as possible because they're my favorite couple on this show, which is really saying nothing. Absolutely nothing that says as much about what I think about eggs as it does this show. It means nothing. Okay. Basically, you know, like those really cool Asian moms on TikTok. Okay. Like, you have my mom, who I'd be saying like the before every sentence or after every sentence in front of my mom. And she's not a cool Asian mom. So she's like, don't say that. Oh, my gosh. Don't ever say that. Right. That's a normal Asian mom. And then you got like the cool Asian moms on TikTok, where the cool kids are like, duh. And then the mom is like the. Did you just say? And then you're like, that's a cool mom. I bet she's still parties, like, on the weekends. Like, I bet she has a life, right? Yeah. That's what Jasmine looks like. And then Jason looks like her son. I Don't know how to describe it. She looks like the cool mom and he looks like the son.
Tiffany
Okay, yeah, okay, okay.
Stephanie
But she's really into him.
Tiffany
Okay.
Stephanie
After dinner she sits on the bed and they're sitting on the edge of the bed and she's like, so what do you think about the other girls? Are they pretty? And immediately there's only one right answer. What's the right answer?
Tiffany
Oh, I didn't even see them. What? There's more girls. Where?
Stephanie
Where?
Tiffany
I only saw four guys and one girl. Uh huh.
Stephanie
Fine, that was kind of good. But anyway, Jason looks at her and goes, yeah, I thought they were all really pretty. Ah. So then she says, you know, the other couples are all happy, like they've all coupled up officially. She says that? What's the appropriate response to that?
Tiffany
The other couples are all coupled up. Oh good, so nobody will couple with you.
Stephanie
Exactly. But he says, that's a shame because that means I can't get to know anyone now. So then Jasmine is very frustrated, but she doesn't want to come off too strong because they just met like five minutes ago. So what she does is she's looking around the room looking for some sort of idea, some old trick in the book, and she sees it laying right there on the console table and she reaches over, grabs it, sits back on the bed and she peels one layer of the banana at a time and she stares at Jason. And I've truly never seen anyone eat a banana like this. There's no reason for you to suck in when you eat a banana. Her cheeks were going in cuz she was sucking so hard and I was like, I've never seen. I also don't know if I eat a banana in too long deep bites. I gotta at least hit a banana with 20 bites. She said two bites it is. Yeah, yeah, okay.
Tiffany
Did it work?
Stephanie
It did. It did work, yeah.
Tiffany
Like in what way?
Stephanie
It did. As in they might get married soon actually, like this.
Tiffany
What was, what's his name? Jason.
Stephanie
Just looking, Jason. Yeah, Jason's just looking.
Tiffany
He was just looking.
Stephanie
Yeah. And that banana is just going to third base. And I'm like, how is this the singles inferno of China? I'm looking at Tiffany, the bananas having the time of its life. There's so much happening right now. Now the next morning, when everybody is still asleep at 5 in the morning, Zuzu gets up and prepares breakfast for everyone. This is kind of a sweet gesture he makes. Untoasted bread with scrambled eggs. It's like prison food. And a cup of coffee while everybody is asleep. However, when they all come down, they're confused about who made the breakfast and when they find out it's Zuzu, nobody wants to eat it. This is actually mean. Nobody wants to eat it because he does kind of give creepy vibes. I'm not gonna lie. And like, you just can never be too safe. I am non confrontational and I don't like to hurt people's feelings. So I would definitely eat it and probably be drugged. But everybody else is smart. They don't want to eat it.
Tiffany
So what do they do?
Stephanie
They start making their own eggs.
Tiffany
So they just didn't touch the food.
Stephanie
They don't touch the food.
Tiffany
That is crazy.
Stephanie
Amy looks disgusted with the food. She looks like she's gonna gag so she makes her own food. It's kind of mean, but this next scene will make you realize it's not that mean. It's not mean at all. If you're an experienced pet owner, you already know that having a pet is 25% belly rubs, 25% yelling drop it. And 50% groaning at the bill from every vet visit. Which is why Lemonade Pet insurance is tailor made for your pet and can save you up to 90% on vet bills. It can help cover checkups, emergencies, diagnostics, basically all the stuff that makes your bank account nervous. Claims are filed super easy through the Lemonade app and half get settled instantly. Get a'@lemonade.com pet and they'll help cover the vet bill for whatever your pet swallowed after you yell drop it. Ryan Reynolds here from Mint Mobile.
Tiffany
With the price of just about everything going up, we thought we'd bring our prices down.
Stephanie
So to help us, we brought in a reverse auctioneer, which is apparently a thing Mint Mobile Unlimited Premium Wireless 30. 30. Better get 30. Better get 20. 20. 20. Better get 20. 20.
Tiffany
Better get 15.
Stephanie
15, 15, 15. Just 15 bucks a month. Sold. Give it a try@mintmobile.com Switch upfront payment of 45 for 3 month plan equivalent to 15 per month required new customer offer for first 3 months only. Speed slow after 35 gigabytes of networks, fizzy taxes and fees extra. See mintmobile.com Want to pull off the season's freshest trends? You just need the right shoes. That's where designer shoe Warehouse comes in. Loving wide leg jeans. Pair them with sleek low profile sneakers. Obsessed with the sheer trend? Try it with mesh flats. Feeling Boho Comfy sandals. Nail the whole free spirited thing. Find on trend shoes from the brands you love like Birkenstock, Nike, Adidas and more. At dsw, the host comes in and says, guys, we need to get crazier. We're gonna play a game of Never have I ever. We're gonna have five fingers, four fingers up in the air, and we're gonna go around and say, never have I ever done this. And the person with the most number of fingers still up in the air, still pointing to the sky, their digits, they are going to be the winners. You guys know how never have I ever works, right?
Tiffany
Yeah.
Stephanie
So they all sit in a circle, and people. The first one is, never have I ever cheated or dated two people at the same time. And everyone keeps all four fingers in the air, but they look over at Zuzu, who's only got three digits suspended in space. Zuzu, you dated two girls at the same time? Yes. Wait, how many girls did you date at the same time? I've dated three girls at the same time. And he's smirking like he's so content with himself. I got three. I got three waiting for me in three different cities. And I fly business class to each of them with my airline points. Okay. Everybody else, though, is looking at him in disgust and disbelief. He looks proud. It's giving. I'm so attractive. I can get so many girls. But Jasmine, she breaks the silence. Everybody doesn't even know how to respond, because I think most of them want to say how, but they don't. They're just sitting here like. And also, why are you proud of that? But Jasmine steps in and she breaks the silence and she mutters, this type of guy is the worst. Mm.
Tiffany
What? Did he hear it?
Stephanie
She didn't know if he heard it. So she slams down her chopsticks and then says, this type of guy is truly the worst. Then she was worried that maybe the mic, the clip on mic, did not get it. So then she moves her chin to the mic and says, this type of guy is the worst. So she repeats it three times just in case. She's like, sound guy. Did you get that? Yeah.
Tiffany
I'm so lost.
Stephanie
Yeah. Honestly, I love Jasmine.
Tiffany
She just wanted. She's calling him out on his.
Stephanie
Yeah. And Lulu's turning to the side like, why don't you just date 10 girls at the same time instead? And everyone's like, God, he's the worst. The next following questions were, I never slept in the same room with the opposite sex. I never had sex, never got drunk. In the end, the first person to put all their fingers down is Zuzu. So he was awarded the right to wash the dishes. And be the most hated guy in the house. Congratulations, you weirdo. Okay. But before that, the MC had another question. The host says, can you guys accept if the woman makes more money in the relationship? And all the guys are like, I mean, I guess, whatever, right? These guys are so passive. These guys don't give a shit about anything. These guys want to go back home right now. And the girls, they're trying so hard to be kind and polite, but you can just tell. You can just tell the minute that they get out of here, oh, they're going down their contacts on their phone. There's gonna be a lot of FaceTimes. There's gonna be a lot of rants. There's gonna be a lot of speechless moments. Yeah. And so they were asked, if you were to guess who makes the most money, who would you all choose in this room? Oh, and puffing his chest. Yeah, he's puffing his chest. And he says, I think my net worth is definitely the top two. And everyone said, bruh, net worth is a crazy phrase to pull out right now. Like, to pull out the net worth.
Tiffany
Whoa, bro.
Stephanie
Like, imagine someone being like, how much cash do you have on you? And it's probably like, I don't know, five bucks? And they're like, my net worth. It's like, I don't need to be hearing this right now. This is weird. And then they're like, first or second? The host is egging him on. So you think you're first or second, to be honest. First. Zuzu also doesn't forget to roll his eyes in confidence. Like, it's not really a. It's not really a debate, is it now? Yeah. However, the host.
Tiffany
Does he tell us, though?
Stephanie
No, but the host knows how much everyone makes, and they actually announced he doesn't make them the most. Oh, Jasmine makes the most.
Tiffany
The bra girl.
Stephanie
Put the respect on it. Jasmine, the money girl. Okay. The money girl. She makes the most. The money girl. Excuse you? Okay, so because of Jasmine's behavior and appearance of taking off her bra, a lot of the guys were shocked, but she is the most financially independent and she, of course, has even supported some of her ex boyfriends in the past. She really likes, like, cute guys.
Tiffany
She's the provider.
Stephanie
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And this takes an emotional toll on our dominant CEO. So the rest of the episode, he's kind of in, like, a sour, foul mood. I'm not even lying. He's just, like, got a scowl on.
Tiffany
His face, but we don't know where he falls.
Stephanie
No.
Tiffany
Okay, okay.
Stephanie
So on this show, Jasmine really likes Thailand Virgin Jason. And he is the one with the lowest income, actually. So they say he's actually the lowest. Are you okay with that, Jasmine? And Jasmine's like, I don't care. I don't care. Did you see what I did to that banana, Jason? Did you see it? I read it. Okay. Now, Jason, however, is like, I kind of want to see if Susie's interested in me now. This is the part that behooves me. This is the part where I'm like, what is happening right now? Because out of nowhere, they'll be like, I want to see if Susie's interested in me. And I'm like, you have not said one word to Susie. You and Susie have the chemistry of a bottle of WD40 and a potato. Like, there is nothing correlating you to. There's nothing. Like, one is gasoline and then the other one is a grasshopper. I don't see any sort of connection. No, no. Sparks are flying. Nothing. And suddenly he's like, I am really conflicted between Susie and Jasmine. I'm like, I didn't know you had choices, dude. I don't know what's going on. Susie, however, is also like, I'm very interested in Thailand virgin.
Tiffany
Oh, everyone likes him.
Stephanie
Yeah. Yeah. Because Sam is dating, or Susie is with Sam, who is the college dad.
Tiffany
Oh, she don't like college dad.
Stephanie
No.
Tiffany
Is he the geek?
Stephanie
She's definitely convinced he's gay because of the bra thing. Yeah. Maybe he's just not into her. I don't know. But she wants Thailand virgin. So then the host decides, okay, we're gonna settle all of this. We're gonna play a new game. It's called who is the Sperm King? Now, I just want to say, the juxtaposition of a cast of characters who have absolutely no sexual chemistry whatsoever. Jasmine has more sexual chemistry with the banana than she does her own partner, Jason on this. And then the juxtapos position of that. With such crazy games, it's insane to me. They wouldn't even play this on Singles Inferno. Let me just cut to a scene for you. Okay. There is Andy standing behind a podium.
Tiffany
Which one's Andy again?
Stephanie
He's the college kid.
Tiffany
Oh, okay. Okay.
Stephanie
He's Amy's partner. He's standing behind a podium, and you can only see above his waist. Below his waist. It's blocked. He's got, like, a giant poster. A podium.
Tiffany
Okay.
Stephanie
And then he's got both of his hands down there. And then he's focusing really Hard. Oh, yeah, he's focusing. And then he's scrunching his nose, and then he's tilting his head up towards the sky. The girls are sitting in front of him, watching him sitting there. They can't see behind the podium. They can't see his private parts, but they're all kind of looking away. Some of them are sweating. Some of them are avoiding eye contact. Some of them are fanning themselves because, oh, my gosh, what is happening? Some of them are just swallowing because what is going on right now? And he's just like. And then his time is up. The next guy goes. And then he does the same thing. And they just look so focused and they're, like, about to explode. And then they just let it out. And then they're going to compare. What are you comparing, you ask? What do you think they're doing, bruh?
Tiffany
I don't want to know.
Stephanie
What do you think they're doing?
Tiffany
I don't want to know.
Stephanie
Sperm king.
Tiffany
No.
Stephanie
Okay, so this is how it works. The men are given 15 minutes to drink as much water as possible, and they have to hold their pee for an hour. After that, time is up, they pee into a machine called a Euroflow meter, a machine that tests their peeing speed. Now, the host. Take his word for it, okay? Because I don't know. The host said the whole point of the challenge is to see who can pee the fastest, because whoever can pee the fastest can usually. Pew pew. The strongest. Their gun is working the bestest. That's what the host is saying. These four girls. Girls look like they'd rather jump off a cliff. Okay? They don't want to envision these men doing pew pew with their view. They don't want to do anything. They want to die. They don't want to be here. Like, I think they'd have more fun in line at the dmv. This is crazy to them. But this is apparently supposed to accurately measure how well your bladder, prostate, and your sphincters are functioning.
Tiffany
So they have an actual machine.
Stephanie
Yeah.
Tiffany
That can measure how fast that is. So high tech.
Stephanie
Do you want one? Kind of our next vlog. Who is the sperm king? Yeah, yeah, yeah. They gotta hold their pee to test their manhood capabilities. And by the point that the host is done explaining the logistics of this, Zuzu has already finished chugging two water bottles. Bottles. Like, two full water bottles. And, like, this is technically supposed to be. I don't know. I don't really care who the sperm king is. Like, this seems like only something Men care about. Like, I can't imagine a girl given a flying fork about this. Like, I genuinely don't care. Like, let me go in the corner and read. I don't know. Fourth wing, Right. I don't need all this right now. But they are on there taking this so seriously.
Tiffany
All the guys.
Stephanie
The guys. All the guys are taking it so seriously. And it is so unhot, like, you don't even understand. Zuzu almost never stops drinking water. The entire hour. He is drinking until his hand is trembling. He's drinking so much water, that water, unlimited water. And he's drinking so much water, that water is dribbling out of his mouth. And it's just disgusting. Not only because of what title he is fighting for, but also just the visual image they said was disgusting. It's just too much. He drinks seven bottles of water. Yeah. In the span of an hour. He wants that title. So after an hour, all eight of them gather outside. And like I said, there's that podium that the guys go behind and they pee and they measure the pee and they. Then the king will come out on top. Except in this case, everyone is a loser here. I'm the loser for watching this. Tiffany's the loser. Cause I'm staring at her like, really? Really? No. Everybody is a loser. The first one to go is Sam. This is Susie's partner. This is college dad. But because this was his first time peeing in front of an audience, he said that he was having performance issues, which is not a great way to start this. Yeah.
Tiffany
Like, he couldn't pee.
Stephanie
Yeah. And then he said he was pee shy. So then the whole audience is cheering him on. All the contestants go. They go, it's okay, Sam. Psst, pss, psst. But halfway through, he's like, very serious. He's like, I can't do this anymore. I can't do this anymore. I'd rather get a bladder inflammation, bladder infection, than pee in front of the camera. I'd rather. Yeah, no, I don't want to pee anymore. And everyone's like, it's okay, Sam, come take your seat. Next in line is Andy. He goes up there and he's just so focused. He's just like. Eyebrows are crunched up. He's closing his eyes. He's looking at the sky. It's just a lot. It's a lot. Yeah. It's very sexual. For no reason. Yeah. And then the girls are looking at him, and they're swallowing their saliva because they're like, I'm so uncomfortable right now. You know, and then he has to pick who goes next. And he says, I pick Zuzu. He's already squatting down. He looks like he needs to pee. But Zuzu's like, what? No, I don't want to go next. See, this is all part of his strategy. He thinks the longer he holds his pee, the faster it'll come out. So he's like, no, I'm going to go last. He also, while he's holding in his pee, he looks like he's being tortured because he drank so much water. But on top of that, he doesn't forget to show off his English. He goes, no, I'm thinking fine in English. And I was like, was that English? He explains that the reason that he needs to do this is because he needs to be the king. So then Jason comes up. He peace. And then now it's Zuzu's turn. The veins in his neck are popping out. At this point, he just wants to show off. He thinks if he wins this title, Amy. Amy will fall in love. And this is why I tell you, some men are so misguided. I don't know who's teaching them about love, but I've never met a girl who is so ached out by a guy. And then they win a competition in the most ickiest way and win the ickiest title, and that's going to change her mind. That's crazy. Yeah, he says, all I can think about is that I want to pick Amy next. And then he pees into the bottle, and it's just the most illegal sight I've ever seen on national television. After everybody is done playing peeing, it's time to reveal the king. Third place place goes to Jason. Second place goes to Zuzu. So between Sam and Andy, you would imagine Andy is our king. Yeah.
Tiffany
Which one is Andy?
Stephanie
College kid.
Tiffany
Oh.
Stephanie
And then Sam is college dad. Oh. So, okay, this is how it goes.
Tiffany
Was Zuzu upset?
Stephanie
Yeah, he was a little upset, but he was like, I'm gonna get Amy. Because he believes that Andy's gonna go for Lulu. So they all stand behind the woman that they want to go with and stays with Susie. Jason stays with Jasmine. And then what's his face? Zuzu goes and stands behind Amy. She doesn't want this. The only way that she's not gonna.
Tiffany
Get this is Amy's. The one that rolled the rule on the whiteboard.
Stephanie
Don't change partners. Yes. So now if Andy comes and stands behind Amy, then Zuzu's gotta leave because Andy was first in the game. So he gets the number one pick. But Andy goes over and he stands behind Lulu. Lulu. And Amy starts screaming. No, like literally screaming and sobbing. I will say, for a brief moment there, I thought maybe it was kind of for show because the way she's screaming, it's like, no, I don't want it. Right. So I thought it was funny. But then she starts sobbing, so I'm like, oh, oh, she's so serious. And I can totally see her point of view now. This is where I was kind of side eyeing this entire episode and the producers because she seems genuinely terrified of him now. I feel like if you just listen to everything I've said, I was trying so hard in all the points to point out all the creepy mannerisms that he has. But it's not just Zuzu being an annoying, dominant, CEO wannabe alpha male saying the most obnoxious things. It's the fact that his mannerisms are just creepy. Like, he'll just stare at you in, like, the most unsettling, creepy way. And he just smirks a lot. And the smirk is like a very evil, condescending smirk. And, like, as a woman, it's pretty scary. Like, you're scared of this guy. I would not trust him around my water bottle. I would not trust him around anything, anyone. Like, he is giving very creepy vibes. Vibes. So she starts screaming. The producers have to jump in, and they basically tell her, like, if you don't want to sleep with him, not like, sleep with him, but like, if you don't want to share a room with him. Because some of the girls, they either share the bed and put pillows in the middle or they will have the guys sleep on the couch in the room. They're like, if you don't even want him in the same room, then you could just ask him to sleep in the living room. So that way she decides, okay, fine, I'm just gonna stay, but I'm gonna put. Make him sleep in the living room. That's the only way that I will partner with him, because there's no way. So the producers, they're like, okay, sounds good. This becomes a whole ordeal. Yeah.
Tiffany
What do you mean?
Stephanie
I will say Zuzu does go to the living room to sleep, but Amy is just so. I feel bad. It's like she's being held hostage.
Tiffany
Like, what's Zuzu's reaction to all that? Like, did he say anything?
Stephanie
No, he's just quiet. Oh, and it's kind of creepy, huh? But also, like, wouldn't you just leave then? Yeah, I feel like, the right thing to do is like, wow, I didn't know I was that creepy. Like, maybe I would apologize and then I would just remove myself from the show because, like, I don't need to be creeping somebody out. That's like, a lot for someone to cry because they're so creeped out about me. I feel like I would need some time to reflect, some introspection. But they decide that they're gonna sleep separately. And there's like, one more challenge where they do each other's makeup. And Amy decides, okay, maybe I've been a little tough on him. So she lets him into the room to do her makeup. The guys are doing all the girls makeup, and his makeup actually turns out the best.
Tiffany
Zuzu.
Stephanie
Yeah, the worst is Jason. Jason and Jasmine.
Tiffany
Oh, yeah.
Stephanie
The worst. He uses blush as eyeshadow, but puts it all over her eyes. She looks like a raccoon, but with pink eyes. She looks like she has two pink eyes. And it's. It's pretty bad. Yeah, it's pretty bad. They have a little competition, and then it's their last dinner together. And the editing on this is hilarious because during dinner, you have Zuzu turn into camouflage.
Tiffany
What does that mean?
Stephanie
Like, they edit him to just be a hologram. Like an outline of a person that's see through because no one's talking to him. No one's acknowledging his presence, Nothing. Nobody's even looking at him because he just is.
Tiffany
He's just really, really annoying.
Stephanie
Just really annoying.
Tiffany
Like, is he still flexing? Like, still, like, making weird comments?
Stephanie
Yeah. And there's moments where he's reading a book, but he's zoning out and his eyes will glaze over and he's just staring, but it's like a very mean stare. Now we could be just. Nobody was, like, staring into the void. It's just a lot. So eventually, people describe it as having the stare of a sasaeng fan. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. And a lot of people say it's not hate that they feel for Zuzu. It's like repulsion, which is like, these are really, really intense things to say that I would normally disapprove of. I would say you guys are kind of mean. Let's tone it down a little. Okay. But it's not like that. It's. It gets worse. So now it's the third and final day. Everybody's packing their bags because nobody knows if they're getting eliminated. Basically, this is what happens at the end of the third day if any couples want to leave the show. In love and try to love, like, good date out. Outside of this, they get to leave. And also, they have to vote out one girl and one guy. It doesn't have to be the same couple. It can be a random girl, a random guy, but they have to. To make space for new people to come in, basically.
Tiffany
Oh, so Zuzu is gonna be gone.
Stephanie
Yeah, Zuzu is gonna be gone. So this is the last day. Everybody's preparing for it, and Zuzu decides that I want to write a letter for Amy. I just want to show her my feelings. He writes, the letter goes to. The door is knocking on the door. Amy is acting like she doesn't hear it, but he knows she's acting like she doesn't hear it because there's a window on the door. And after she does not open the door, this is when Zeus, he walks away, so calm, but it is angry calm. He starts shredding the letter with his hands with, like, the most menacing glare. And he says in the confessional, the show asked us to spend 30 minutes together. When I knocked on the door, even if you refused to, you could have at least pretended to for the show. So then they get to the final round, and during this process, there's a point where Zuzu is saying something, and Amy turns to him and is like, can you just shut up? I wasn't even talking to you. I really had enough of you. You think I want this? They're, like, fighting for real. It's very creepy the way that Zuzu is talking to Amy. So throughout all of this, in the end, ultimately, Jasmine and Jason decide that they're gonna walk away and try to be a couple. They're gonna try it. Mm. They're gonna leave the show together. And then now it's time for eliminations. The guys get together, and they have to vote one girl out, and the girls get together, and they have to vote one guy out. The girls all are voting Zuzu out. They're like, this is. He's, like, the creepiest. He's egotistical. He has no eq. He's creepy. Then when the guys are in their little meeting, Zuzu is, like, passionately convincing everyone to write Amy's name. And it's so creepy. It's so vile. I feel like he's. He's genuinely scary.
Tiffany
What is he saying? Do you know?
Stephanie
Like, you have to pick her. Do you see the way that she's acting? Like, look at the way that she treated me. He even says in the. The little confessional, I have full control of the situation, I exhibited a strong sense of leadership them to vote Amy out.
Tiffany
Did they vote Amy?
Stephanie
Yeah. When they finally reveal, they reveal that they voted Zuzu out and then Amy. And he's so pleased with himself. He's smirking and he's so excited. And then at the end, he walks up to a producer, not knowing that they're still filming him, and he says, can you cut out some of my unattractive scenes so that I don't look as bad? And that is kept in the show.
Tiffany
Dang.
Stephanie
And that is the first episode of what your sister promised me was the Chinese Singles Inferno. Was it the Chinese Singles Inferno? Absolutely not. Did I get more than I thought I was gonna get? Absolutely, yes. There's gonna be new people for episode two. Please let me know if you would like episode two of a recap, because this is insane. It gets even crazier. Let me know in the comments. But that's it for episode one, and I hope you guys enjoyed. Please be safe and I'll see you in the next one. Bye. I've never felt like this before. It's like you just get me. I feel like my true self with you. Does that sound crazy? And it doesn't hurt that you're gorgeous. Okay, that's it. I'm taking you home with me. I mean, you can't find shoes this good just anywhere. Find a shoe for every you from brands you love like Birkenstock, Nike, Adidas and more at your DSW store or dsw.com Some say Odoo business management software is like fertilizer because of the way it promotes growth. Some say Odoo is like a magic beanstalk stock scaling with you while being magically affordable. And some say Odoo's programs for manufacturing, accounting and more are like building blocks for creating a custom software suite. But I say Odoo is all of it. Fertilizer, magic beanstalk, building blocks for business. Yeah, Odoo. Exactly what every business needs. Sign up@odoo.com that's o-o o.com.
Podcast Summary: "Chinese “Single’s Inferno” Has All “Dominant CEO” Type Men - It’s The Best Thing I’ve Ever Seen"
Podcast Information:
In this episode of Moral Of The Story, host Stephanie Soo delves into the intriguing and chaotic world of the Chinese reality TV show "Singles Inferno." Stephanie recounts her experience watching the show with her sister-in-law, Tiffany, highlighting the unique and often unsettling dynamics that set it apart from other dating reality shows. The episode is a deep dive into the show's premise, participant behavior, and the cultural nuances that make it both fascinating and bewildering.
[01:10] Stephanie Soo:
Stephanie begins by setting the scene, explaining her initial enthusiasm for introducing Tiffany to various reality TV shows. Their exploration leads them to "Singles Inferno," which Tiffany claims is the Chinese version of the popular "Singles Inferno" format.
Key Quote:
"I will be divorcing my husband in the next 24 hours. No, I'm just kidding." [01:10]
[04:07] Stephanie Soo:
Stephanie outlines the show's premise: four girls and four men live together in a mansion for three days and two nights. Each girl shares a room with a prospective partner, leading to frequent re-pairings based on performance in various challenges.
Key Points:
Key Quote:
"It's like four couples go camping in a mansion in the woods." [04:22]
[04:03] Stephanie Soo:
Stephanie introduces the four female participants:
Key Quote:
"Jasmine is very pretty and very voluptuous. That's all I know at this point." [04:33]
[07:28] Stephanie Soo:
The episode delves into the initial pairing process, where boys choose girls based solely on the symbolic items presented in blind boxes. This unconventional method quickly reveals the producers' intent to create unconventional pairings.
Key Moments:
[12:10] Stephanie Soo:
Stephanie introduces the four male participants, all embodying the "Dominant CEO" archetype but diverging in appearance and demeanor:
Key Quote:
"He looks like he's never talked to a girl in his life." [13:25]
[27:03] Stephanie Soo:
Zuzu, portrayed as the quintessential "Dominant CEO," becomes the focal point of the episode. His over-the-top confidence, business acumen, and peculiar behavior create friction among the participants.
Key Characteristics:
Key Quote:
"I need everyone to know that I am diamond medallion at multiple various different airliners." [27:03]
"He believes he is the catch. He thinks they're all just salivating in their beds thinking about him." [31:12]
**1. "Who is the Sperm King" Challenge
**2. Amy and Lulu's Response to Zuzu
**3. Final Eliminations and Outcomes
Throughout the episode, Stephanie's reactions oscillate between amusement and bewilderment at the show's bizarre elements. She criticizes the casting choices, particularly Zuzu's unsettling presence, and expresses frustration over the lack of genuine chemistry among participants.
Key Observations:
Notable Quote:
"Zuzu is a fucking weirdo. He's an egotistical, creepy weirdo, but he genuinely thinks in his mind." [70:05]
Stephanie concludes the episode by summarizing her intense and often exasperating experience watching "Singles Inferno." She highlights the show's potential for escalating chaos in subsequent episodes and teases future recaps based on audience interest.
Key Quote:
"The first episode of what your sister promised me was the Chinese Singles Inferno. Absolutely not. Did I get more than I thought I was gonna get? Absolutely, yes." [74:28]
Note: This summary is crafted to provide a comprehensive overview of the podcast episode using the provided transcript. It focuses on capturing the essence of Stephanie Soo's discussion, highlighting key events, participant dynamics, and her personal reactions, while omitting advertisements and non-content sections.