Listener Tales 104: Your Grandparents Might Be Criminals!

Summary

Morbid Podcast – Listener Tales 104: Your Grandparents Might Be Criminals!

Hosts: Ash Kelley & Alaina Urquhart
Release Date: November 20, 2025

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Episode Overview

This episode is another round of Listener Tales, where Ash and Alaina (in full costume mode and high-energy, thanks to bad sleep scores) read stories submitted by listeners. The common thread: each tale is wild, spooky, or downright criminal—sometimes in the literal sense! From haunted childhood homes and chilling family secrets, to vigilante laptop "justice," to haunted houses with helpful ghosts, it's a lively, emotional, and darkly hilarious episode that shows just how weird (and crime-adjacent) people's grandparents—and everyone else—can be.

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Key Discussion Points & Listener Tales

1. Listener Tale: The Chained Man ("Rose’s Story")

[05:22–24:08]

• Setup
  • Rose shares a multi-generational story full of paranormal and emotional events. Her mother was known for electric energy (even streetlights reacted to her presence), piano-key jeans, and the mysterious recurrence of the number 23 throughout her life.
• Haunted Childhood Home
  • Rose's mother grew up in a haunted house in Santa Fe, NM. The original owner had murdered her own children in despair.
  • Paranormal activity included a ghost boy playing, flushing toilets, and a series of recurring dreams featuring “the chained man” in the closet.
    • "My mom would wake up in her dream to his moans. And she would get out of bed, feed him, bathe him..." (13:17, Coraline)
  • After years of comforting the spirit, the narrative reversed; the chained man turned on her, and the dream cycle grew darker.
• Mother's Passing & Signs
  • Her mother, after a battle with cancer, saw comforting golden light and spoke to unseen visitors before death.
  • The number 23 keeps appearing (license plates, ashes tag, etc.), seeming to be her mother’s way of signaling she’s still present.
  • Rose's friends and children have paranormal experiences involving her mother—one calling out her mother's signature jeans with piano keys (which no photo existed of).
    • “She said her long brown hair … and her jeans had piano keys on them… I immediately started crying as Luna repeats the words I have held dear... ‘I love you, sweetie.’” (21:29, Coraline)
• Hosts’ Reactions
  • Both Ash & Alaina are genuinely moved:
    • “That was terrifying and really beautiful and touching. I loved it. That hit like every damn—everyone. That hit every bone in my bodies.” (24:04, Coraline)

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2. Listener Tale: That Time I Peed on a Rapist’s MacBook Pro ("Sam’s Story")

[24:08–34:56]

• Funny Start, Serious Turn
  • Sam recounts drunken college days at UGA, including the shameful trend of college students peeing in their sinks.
    • “I promise you, everyone was doing it in college. We were repulsive…” (28:13, Miranda)
  • One night, Sam drunkenly mistakes a roommate’s open laptop for a sink and urinates on it.
  • After being extorted for both the laptop and the rental replacement by the increasingly unpleasant roommate Butch, Sam’s tale takes a sharp turn.
• Butch: The Real Criminal
  • A year later, Sam learns Butch is arrested for attempted rape. Despite clear evidence, he serves almost no jail time due to family connections.
    • “For those who can’t see this article, Butch is shown with bloody claw marks all over his face. He attacked a girl and attempted to rape her on a sidewalk…” (33:11, Miranda)
  • Sam reflects: the universe putting her in the right place and time to engage in some unintentional (and gross) vigilante justice.
    • “To conclude: you, Butch, that wasn’t a spilled drink. That was my piss.” (34:01, Coraline)
• Hosts’ Reactions
  • Utterly delighted by Sam’s revenge-by-accident:
    • “The universe just knew that you should have pissed on that guy’s laptop.” (34:48, Miranda)

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3. Listener Tale: Hoarders Have Secrets ("Casey’s Story")

[38:50–47:36]

• Family Hoarding and a Chilling Discovery
  • Casey describes her grandma’s extreme hoarding house in rural Utah, housing 13 children (5 biological, 8 adopted, mostly special needs).
  • After her grandmother’s move to assisted living, the family has to clean out decades’ worth of filth—dead animals, 17 dumpsters of garbage, and then...
  • A severed finger is discovered preserved in a glass jar in the basement.
    • “It was preserved pretty well from my non-medical opinion, in a small glass jar.” (44:19, Coraline)
  • Grandpa claims he once saw it but ignored it; the police do little. There’s also a history of a missing foster child whose family suspects foul play, but the finger appears to be from an adult.
• Hosts’ Reactions
  • Unanimous: yes, your grandparents are probably criminals.
    • “Here’s the thing. We don’t know a lot of things, but one thing is for sure, your grandparents are criminals. And that’s the name of this episode...” (46:40, Miranda)

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4. Listener Tale: Moved In, Moved Out Two Days Later ("Mark’s Story")

[48:21–60:21]

• A Not-So-Evil (Or Is It?) Ghost
  • Mark (65, zero fucks to give) tells a 1975 tale of buying their first home just as their first child was born.
  • A series of increasingly unsettling but oddly nurturing events occur in the new house: doors unlock, coffee is brewed, a rose and baby powder appear, and the baby is mysteriously attended to overnight.
    • “I saw no baby powder this morning. However, the coffee was already brewed and mine and Angie’s coffee cups were set beside… along with the sugar bowl and the creamer.” (54:07, Miranda)
  • Culminates in all the shelves and heavy books stacked in their baby's crib—had the baby been there, tragedy would have struck.
    • “In the center of the crib … was stacked all of our books. Not just the bedtime stories, but Dungeons and Dragons books as well.” (55:48, Miranda)
  • Hosts speculate: one ghost, or two? Helpful or sinister? Mark later follows up: the new homeowners (descendants of the first owner Mabel) describe the ghost as protective.
    • “She went on to say that Mabel had been a huge help … kept them safe from everything from a fire in the basement to a break in.” (59:27, Miranda)
  • Hosts’ Conclusion: Initially skeptical, but end on a warm note about generational protection and family spirits.

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5. Show Highlights, Banter, & Notable Quotes

• Lots of spirited back-and-forth about costumes (Ash as Coraline, Alaina as Miranda Priestly), being "feral children," and getting older.
  • “We both got really bad sleep scores last night on our aura ring, so this is gonna be crazy.” (03:09, Miranda)
• Ongoing inside jokes (ASMR, strange Gemini energy, trashy college habits).
• Frequent and loving shout-outs to listeners by name after each story — great sense of community (“You guys rock!”).
• Unabashed judgment of the hoarding grandparents and Butch (“Yeah, your grandparents are criminals, but.” (47:58, Miranda))
• Meta-reference to how they pick and read stories:
  • “Brought to you by you. For you. From you. And all about you. That’s all. That’s all.” (04:22, Miranda)

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6. Timestamps for Important Segments

• [05:22] Listener Tale 1 (The Chained Man / Rose)
• [24:08] Listener Tale 2 (Peeing on the Rapist’s MacBook / Sam)
• [38:50] Listener Tale 3 (Hoarders Have Secrets / Casey)
• [48:21] Listener Tale 4 (Moved In, Moved Out / Mark)
• [60:21–61:50] Hosts recap all listener tales and reactions
• [61:50-end] Show community shout-outs and calls for more submissions

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Memorable Quotes

• On Rose’s mother and the uncanny recurrence of the number 23:
  • “Her mother telling me that she’s there and still supporting me from the afterlife? Yes, it is.” (23:18, Miranda)
• On Sam’s accidental act of justice:
  • “To conclude you, Butch, that wasn’t a spilled drink. That was my piss.” (34:01, Coraline)
• On encountering a severed finger:
  • “It was preserved pretty well from my non-medical opinion, in a small glass jar.” (44:19, Coraline)
• On Mark’s ghost encounter:
  • “I placed Angie’s breakfast on a tray with a cup of coffee prepared to her taste…” (54:07, Miranda)
  • “She went on to say that Mabel had been a huge help… It seems I may have jumped the gun on moving out.” (59:27, Miranda)
• Episode Title Drop:
  • “Here's the thing. … one thing is for sure, your grandparents are criminals. And that’s the name of this episode…” (46:40, Miranda)

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Episode Summary

This episode of Morbid is equal parts chilling, funny, and heartwarming. With listener tales ranging from haunted family history, to accidental justice against a future criminal, to the dark secrets lurking in hoarder houses, and finally to a ghost who might be more guardian than ghoul, Ash and Alaina bring their signature camaraderie and dark humor to every weird twist. If you think your own family history is wild, this episode dares you to reconsider—maybe your grandparents are criminals too.

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Listener call to action:
Keep sending those double-spaced pu feu tales with snappy headlines to [e-mail]!

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Hosts:
Ash Kelley (“Coraline” this episode)
Alaina Urquhart (“Miranda Priestly” this episode)

Podcast: Morbid | True crime, history, and all things spooky, but always with a healthy splash of irreverent humor.

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For future listener tale submissions:
"Keep it weird, but not so weird that you have a severed finger in your cold storage and don’t tell anyone about it." (47:31, Coraline)

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Transcript

[Coraline Jones]

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[Miranda Priestly]

Degree can be straight up terrifying. We get it. But Southern New Hampshire University makes it easier than you'd think. They have over 200 degrees that you can earn online. No Set class time so your social life stays alive and well. And low online tuition that won't scare your bank account. College doesn't have to be a horror story. Visit Snhu. Edu Morbid to get started. That's Snhu Edu Morbid. This podcast is brought to you by Squarespace. Squarespace is the all in one website platform designed to help you stand out and succeed online. Whether you're just starting out or you're scaling your business, Squarespace gives you everything you need to claim your domain, showcase your offerings with a professional website, grow your brand, and get paid all in one place. Every dream needs a domain. Squarespace domains make it easy to find the best name for your business at one fair, all inclusive price. No hidden fees or add ons required. And with Squarespace's collection of cutting edge design tools, anyone can build a beautiful professional online presence that perfectly fits the their brand or their business. Start with Blueprint AI, Squarespace's AI Enhanced Design partner, or choose from a library of professionally designed and award winning website templates. No matter where you start, your website is flexible to what you need. Head to squarespace.commorbid for a free trial and when you're ready to launch, use Offer code Morbid to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Hey weirdos. I'm Miranda.

[Coraline Jones]

And I'm Coraline Jones.

[Miranda Priestly]

That was so deeply upsetting. And that's all. Just kidding. It's morbid. It's morbid. Can you do that again? I don't want you to, but I also want you to.

[Coraline Jones]

I'm Coraline Jones. I said it with a good accent the first time. Yeah, the. That's crazy.

[Miranda Priestly]

Yeah, that's gonna be like pleathering all over the place. I just realized ASMR can't believe she's wearing pleather. It's fall of 2025.

[Coraline Jones]

Listen, it's raining. Okay, that's not in my news. It's raining.

[Miranda Priestly]

Not in My newest print here.

[Coraline Jones]

I don't give a. I'm Coraline Jones. Hello.

[Miranda Priestly]

I was gonna say, nice cerulean hair.

[Coraline Jones]

It's blue.

[Miranda Priestly]

It's not just blue.

[Coraline Jones]

You're not my mom.

[Miranda Priestly]

Okay. I'm your other mother.

[Coraline Jones]

Or as my youngest would say, the uddermudder.

[Miranda Priestly]

The uddermudder.

[Coraline Jones]

Hey.

[Miranda Priestly]

We both got really bad sleep scores last night on our aura ring, so this is gonna be crazy.

[Coraline Jones]

It really is.

[Miranda Priestly]

But here we are. Coraline Jones and Miranda Priestly. Which also. I didn't even plan this to be as topical as it is. You originally were gonna be somebody else.

[Coraline Jones]

Yeah. Which I'm gonna be next week.

[Miranda Priestly]

And I'm gonna pivot to be something even funnier. Yep. But I said to Alena, before we got started here, I said, I've never felt more like myself.

[Coraline Jones]

I looked over at Ash, and I just was like, something about this works. Like, I think everything about this works.

[Miranda Priestly]

Thank you.

[Coraline Jones]

I just looked over and I was like, that's right.

[Miranda Priestly]

Yeah.

[Coraline Jones]

That's great.

[Miranda Priestly]

I feel great right now.

[Coraline Jones]

As you should.

[Miranda Priestly]

I don't know that I'd ever get this haircut. I'm not saying it's a bad haircut.

[Coraline Jones]

Maybe you will. You don't know.

[Miranda Priestly]

I don't know. Who knows how you're gonna feel? Not me.

[Coraline Jones]

You know, because you look great.

[Miranda Priestly]

Thank you.

[Coraline Jones]

So, thank you.

[Miranda Priestly]

It would be a lot to style this haircut every day.

[Coraline Jones]

I feel that's how you. Then you get older and you get it styled.

[Miranda Priestly]

Oh, yes.

[Coraline Jones]

Yes. That's your luxury. Oh, God.

[Miranda Priestly]

I can't wait for that luxury. We say all the time. We should start doing that.

[Coraline Jones]

I know. I would love to do well.

[Miranda Priestly]

And you know why? Because we have to redo your listener tales.

[Coraline Jones]

That's important, too, because listener tales are.

[Miranda Priestly]

Brought to you by. Wait. Should I do it in Miranda Priestly?

[Coraline Jones]

Yes.

[Miranda Priestly]

Brought to you by you. For you. From you. And all about you. That's all. That's all. I love saying that. I used to. There was a girl on my softball team, and her. And I would do that all the time. That's all.

[Coraline Jones]

That's all. I like when he says, you become an incubus of viral plague. I say that all the time.

[Sponsor/Ad Voice]

Yeah.

[Coraline Jones]

Anytime one of my kids gets sick, I'm like, oh, you're an incubus of viral plague.

[Miranda Priestly]

I need to rewatch the Devil Wears Prada. I haven't seen it in forever.

[Coraline Jones]

Yeah. Because the new one is being filmed, isn't it?

[Miranda Priestly]

I think it's done.

[Coraline Jones]

Oh, it's done. Yeah.

[Miranda Priestly]

The mini trailer.

[Coraline Jones]

It's not.

[Miranda Priestly]

People say the trailer came out. Sorry. My glove broke and I'm upset about it. It's really like a teaser.

[Coraline Jones]

I haven't even seen the teaser.

[Miranda Priestly]

I haven't either. I just heard that it came out.

[Coraline Jones]

Maybe it's a lie.

[Miranda Priestly]

It's not. They watched it on Sup and I was listening. It's not. I heard it on Sup. It's real.

[Coraline Jones]

Sup said it's real. Okay.

[Miranda Priestly]

Sup said it's real. So it's real.

[Coraline Jones]

And we believe Carrie and Lara. Yeah, we do. We do. That's all. All right. So should I start? Yeah, let's start. Start with a listener tale. How about that?

[Miranda Priestly]

I think that's the best way to start.

[Coraline Jones]

So this one's called the Chained man and. Shut the ass up, Ash. You're a Gemini, so of course it's always about you. How do I know? Because I'm a Gemini too.

[Miranda Priestly]

I was offended when I first started reading this. I was like, wow, is this hate mail? And then I was like, oh, you too? Okay.

[Coraline Jones]

Imagine if it was just like the Chained man and Shut the up, Ash.

[Miranda Priestly]

Yeah.

[Coraline Jones]

I'd fight you.

[Miranda Priestly]

Yeah. Oh my God, thank you. I would. Alena would fight you.

[Coraline Jones]

I would.

[Miranda Priestly]

You guys think that. Well, not you guys, but some people think that Elena's mean to me, but if anybody's actually mean to me, she'll pummel them.

[Coraline Jones]

Yeah.

[Miranda Priestly]

I'll kill you, Helga Pataki. That would be such a good listener. Tales costume. Helga Pataki.

[Coraline Jones]

Oh my God. Yeah.

[Miranda Priestly]

Storing that in my vault. In the vault? Yup, in the vault. Listen to the re watcher.

[Coraline Jones]

All right? Please listen to it. It's unhinged. Please let me start with yes. Use my name. I will have a literal heart attack when not if I hear it on the pod. Good thing both my kiddo and husband know C. Ah.

[Miranda Priestly]

Like we said, low sleep scores. Hello.

[Coraline Jones]

It says that. It says hahaha.

[Miranda Priestly]

It's actually lowercase, though.

[Coraline Jones]

I took it as that.

[Miranda Priestly]

Ha ha ha.

[Coraline Jones]

Good girl.

[Miranda Priestly]

What?

[Coraline Jones]

That's how I read it. Get your butts ready because here's the smoke. That's what it says. I'm reading it. Thank you for making my. Is it because you're dressed like a.

[Miranda Priestly]

Little kid that you're like, absolutely fucking unhinged? Maybe you're just like, lol.

[Coraline Jones]

It's past my bedtime. It is past my bedtime. I need a nap.

[Miranda Priestly]

It's 8:30 in the afternoon.

[Coraline Jones]

It is past my bedtime right now. I got a bad sleep.

[Miranda Priestly]

Score.

[Coraline Jones]

It says thank you in all capital letters. You're welcome for making my hour long commute way more enjoyable. But I have to not listen to the episodes I really want to listen to because my 13 year old is in the car with me. I love your podcast so much. And that's coming from someone who has been anti podcast for years. Anti podcast for my. Due to my inability to maintain focus on anything longer than 30 seconds.

[Miranda Priestly]

Thanks.

[Coraline Jones]

ADHD relatable. My sister introduced me to you with a story from my home state, New Mexico, and now it's all I want to talk about. No, you're all I want to talk about.

[Miranda Priestly]

I don't even edit any of this. Just leave this crazy in. Leave it all in. Leave it, leave it in. Mikey just turned around and literally went.

[Coraline Jones]

Did I do something bad?

[Miranda Priestly]

No, you didn't. She's just fucking crazy. I know.

[Coraline Jones]

I'm a feral child.

[Miranda Priestly]

Leave that in too. That was adorable. Did I do anything bad?

[Coraline Jones]

Anti podcast ADHD introduced to you, New Mexico.

[Miranda Priestly]

I can't.

[Coraline Jones]

And now you're all I want to talk about. I can't because I work with kids, but you're all my husband hears about now. And based on the few stories read from New Mexico, you. Yes, we have a ton of flesh, pedestrians, chupacabras, both of which I've seen, and tons of ghosts. We are super haunted state. Come visit. Just don't whistle. I won't.

[Miranda Priestly]

And do you know about that?

[Coraline Jones]

Isn't that in the Appalachians too?

[Miranda Priestly]

Yeah, I think that's everywhere.

[Coraline Jones]

I just think whistling is fucked up.

[Miranda Priestly]

I hate whistling. You know, I'm not somebody who really whistles. Drew loves to whistle.

[Coraline Jones]

I love to whistle.

[Miranda Priestly]

Actually, I don't like whistling. I had a boss that had a whistle. It was like, it sounds really awful, but it was like, necessary. If, like we were in another. If I was in another part of a salon, he had to whistle to get my attention. But now when I whistle, I'm like, what? Like when I hear a whistle, I.

[Coraline Jones]

Love to whistle, but I won't do it in the Appalachians or in New Mexico.

[Miranda Priestly]

Do you know, I don't even know if I've ever heard you whistle. No, I'm not calling you out saying you don't whistle. That was a good whistle.

[Coraline Jones]

I can do an out whistle or an in whistle.

[Miranda Priestly]

Oh, see, I can only do an in whistle.

[Coraline Jones]

But out. My out is trying to get out way better.

[Miranda Priestly]

My in is the only one that works.

[Coraline Jones]

That's the only one I got that's all I got.

[Miranda Priestly]

I got one whistle.

[Coraline Jones]

I got one whistle and that's it. Ash Geminis are always the center of attention. So shoulder shrug, heck and shame. Oh, well, for everyone else, we're the coolest.

[Miranda Priestly]

Yeah, we fucking are. That's right.

[Coraline Jones]

Whatever, Alina. I'm also very short. Good job. Five foot and proud, says the Capricorn. Five foot and proud. And if I ever get tired of teaching, currently I'm teaching fifth grade and I'm a CPR instructor. I want to go to school for mortuary sciences. All right, you're pretty fucking cool. See? All right, you're pretty fucking cool.

[Miranda Priestly]

That's a win for both of us.

[Coraline Jones]

Anyways, I've included a 14 point double spaced pu feu. A picture of my sons on Halloween and a picture of my family when I was a baby. I want to start by saying that my mom was the most beautiful and kind person you could meet. She made and kept friends wherever she went. It's been almost 20 years since she passed and her photo is still hanging up in the office she worked at. Her best friend basically acts as my mom now. And she's also supportive and amazing. But she isn't going to be part of this story.

[Miranda Priestly]

Will she be part of the next one?

[Coraline Jones]

Maybe. My mom was special. And I don't mean that as in she's my mommy, so of course she is special. But she had an electric quality to her. She had this radiating energy that people felt. She drew people towards her, which was extra funny because she rebuilt computers for low income kids in her free time. This was the late 90s, so no need to worry much about the Internet. Ba ding, ba ding.

[Miranda Priestly]

E.

[Coraline Jones]

I knew exactly what that was.

[Miranda Priestly]

Oh my God. And that shows our age difference because this is. That's literally the reason I made you read this. Ba ding, ba ding. What's the ba ding? Ba ding?

[Coraline Jones]

It would do this like before it started.

[Miranda Priestly]

I know what you're talking about now. When I first read this, I was like, I don't know what that means, but I know Elena will. So that's why I forced you to read the first immediately.

[Coraline Jones]

See? We are one. We are one. Also, I don't. Wait, I don't know your name. Rose.

[Miranda Priestly]

Such a pretty name, Rose. But that's a beautiful name, Rose.

[Coraline Jones]

I freaking love you.

[Miranda Priestly]

Technically down.

[Coraline Jones]

I guess I freaking love you. All right, Rose. Another important fact about her electric quality was that anytime she left the house after dark, the streetlights would turn off. Another important fact about her electric quality was that anytime she left the house after dark. The street lights would turn off when she drove under them and then turn back on once she had passed. She was interdimensional.

[Miranda Priestly]

Fuck, yeah, she was.

[Coraline Jones]

And while it may seem random, my mom's favorite jeans had a strip of piano key fabric down the side of one leg. We have no pictures of my mom in these pants. Remember this? I'm interested. You've hooked me.

[Miranda Priestly]

You got me with the piano pants.

[Coraline Jones]

I gotta tell you, Me with those piano pants. And the street lights.

[Miranda Priestly]

Yeah, the street light. I mean.

[Coraline Jones]

Yeah.

[Miranda Priestly]

And the interdimensional.

[Coraline Jones]

And the interdimensional.

[Miranda Priestly]

You just really got me.

[Coraline Jones]

You got me, Rose.

[Miranda Priestly]

Yeah.

[Coraline Jones]

She was also followed by number23, to be specific. She was born on the 23rd, died on the 23rd, had two tens and three ones in her wallet. When she died, her social added up to 23, and she found some mathematical equation to make her name Bellen, add up to 23.

[Miranda Priestly]

Isn't that crazy?

[Coraline Jones]

That's crazy.

[Miranda Priestly]

That's also a cool name.

[Coraline Jones]

Yeah. I will try to make it short, but I know you won't care. We don't. This starts when my mom was a kid, so I don't remember every detail I was told, but I remember enough to still get the chills when I think about it. I almost burned. I'm sorry, everybody. That would have been my mom. My mom grew up in a very haunted house in downtown Santa Fe, New Mexico. We found out that the woman who had originally owned the home murdered her two children and hung their bodies on the porch.

[Miranda Priestly]

Yeah.

[Coraline Jones]

Before killing herself after she learned her husband had died in war.

[Miranda Priestly]

That's like, hella tragic.

[Coraline Jones]

That's up.

[Miranda Priestly]

It's really up.

[Coraline Jones]

The little boy was killed in the bathtub and would frequently climb out of the bathtub to flush the toilet.

[Miranda Priestly]

Like in the afterlife.

[Coraline Jones]

Yeah. And would playfully chase my uncle around the house and then hide from him. My uncle is 12 years younger than my mom and did not realize this boy was a ghost until he was much older.

[Miranda Priestly]

Oh, that's so spooky.

[Coraline Jones]

We don't know exactly where the girl was killed, but my mom slept in her room for years. My mom would have a dream of a man chained in her closet.

[Miranda Priestly]

Ew.

[Coraline Jones]

My mom would wake up in her dream to his moans. And she would get out of bed, feed him, bathe him, and keep him company until morning when it was time to really wake up. Huh.

[Miranda Priestly]

That's something.

[Coraline Jones]

Where you looking? Anywhere but there.

[Miranda Priestly]

Anywhere? Anywhere but there. That's wild.

[Coraline Jones]

Okay. My mom never told me if she asked why he was chained up, I mean, that's valid, but she didn't need to know. She never really felt threatened by him. I'm gonna be honest with you. My first question to him would be, how'd you find yourself in this predicament, sir?

[Miranda Priestly]

Yeah, that's. You gotta ask the hard hitting questions.

[Coraline Jones]

Those are important questions. She didn't feel threatened, though. She said during these years she was exhausted and felt like she was actually awake. During these dreams, after years of caring for him, he asked my mom if she could unlock the chains because he had earned her trust. She did. In turn, he locked her in the chains f and until she had moved out of the house, she would wake up in her dream to the sound of her own moans and chained in the closet.

[Miranda Priestly]

So she would wake up chained in the closet?

[Coraline Jones]

Kind of.

[Miranda Priestly]

Not. And also in her bed, hearing herself in the closet.

[Coraline Jones]

Don't.

[Miranda Priestly]

I hate them.

[Coraline Jones]

Here's the thing. If you wake up to a man chained in your closet, moaning, call the police.

[Miranda Priestly]

First.

[Coraline Jones]

First ask him, sir, how did you find yourself in this predicament?

[Miranda Priestly]

Well, that's actually. Secondly, after you call the police.

[Coraline Jones]

This feels like a pickle. Sir, how'd you get into it? Yeah. And then go from there, you know.

[Miranda Priestly]

Go from there after, you know, you call them.

[Coraline Jones]

Call the authorities. Every time I had to go to this home, I couldn't sleep. I wonder why. Thankfully, my grandma sold it long before I stopped talking to her. For offering me 500 to get an abortion.

[Miranda Priestly]

That's up.

[Coraline Jones]

Damn. I am not anti abortion, but I am anti. Let me tell you what to do. Which is all my grandmother does.

[Miranda Priestly]

Tell your grandmother to fof.

[Coraline Jones]

It's true. Anywho, weird things for my mom didn't and didn't end there. She had seen numerous ghosts throughout her lifetime. But the chain man still gives me me chills. Yeah, me too. Yeah. My mom was diagnosed with breast cancer when I was in sixth grade.

[Miranda Priestly]

That's awful. I'm sorry.

[Coraline Jones]

Went into remission and then diagnosed with bone cancer on my first day of freshman year in August of 2003, which also.

[Miranda Priestly]

2003. Yeah, 2 and 3.

[Coraline Jones]

She had to stop working and became miserable. Even though she hid it from my sisters and I as best she could. Her sister decided to take her to Hawaii for two weeks in November 2003. Because my mom was born there but had not been back since she was two.

[Miranda Priestly]

Literally. Exact same.

[Coraline Jones]

You're like girly. When they were on their way back with a pit stop in la. Because that's where my aunt lived. I Wonder if that's LA or LA.

[Miranda Priestly]

I don't know.

[Coraline Jones]

I don't know.

[Miranda Priestly]

Probably LA, because that's on the way back. Yeah.

[Coraline Jones]

Oh, through Hawaii. My mom took a fall on the plane and had to be rushed to the er. They found that the cancer had spread to her brain. My grandmother flew me out to LA to say goodbye.

[Miranda Priestly]

That's so sad.

[Coraline Jones]

That's so sad. During the time I was there, my mom slowly became less and less aware as her body deteriorated and shut down. During this time, she said she could see a gold light coming from the other side of the wall. She felt its warmth and she wanted to get closer to the person the light was radiated from. She also kept talking to the empty chairs. She would say things to them as if she could see all her children as babies sitting there bathing in the gold light and waiting for her to make her journey to the other side.

[Miranda Priestly]

I have such, like, ch. Like a. Not even chills. Like the wall.

[Coraline Jones]

Yeah.

[Miranda Priestly]

Oh, isn't it crazy? Like, do you. You follow those, like nurses on Tik Tok, like hospice nurses. And they all say the same things like.

[Coraline Jones]

Yeah.

[Miranda Priestly]

There's such a progression of when somebody is dying and like, everybody, like across the board talks to things that you can't see.

[Coraline Jones]

Yeah. Like in the room that aren't there.

[Miranda Priestly]

But it's like they're clearly having actual conversations.

[Coraline Jones]

Yes. And it's like across the board.

[Miranda Priestly]

Yeah. And a lot of times it's like people who have died.

[Coraline Jones]

Oh, yeah. It's weird. There's something.

[Miranda Priestly]

There's something.

[Coraline Jones]

The very last time she was lucid, she looked at me and said, I love you, sweetie. She passed away a few hours later. I was 14.

[Miranda Priestly]

That's also. First of all, I'm so sorry that you lost your mom at such a young age. And that's also the crazy part of when people pass is they'll go into these moments where like, lucid completely. They're completely lucid after just being somewhere else entirely.

[Coraline Jones]

No. That's so true.

[Miranda Priestly]

It's so crazy.

[Coraline Jones]

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[Miranda Priestly]

Just got a new puppy or kitten.

[Coraline Jones]

Congrats.

[Miranda Priestly]

But also yikes. Between crates, beds, toys, treats, and those.

[Coraline Jones]

First few vet visits, you've probably already.

[Miranda Priestly]

Dropped a small fortune.

[Coraline Jones]

Which is where Lemonade Pet Insurance comes in.

[Miranda Priestly]

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[Coraline Jones]

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[Miranda Priestly]

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[Coraline Jones]

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[Miranda Priestly]

Handled in as little as 3 seconds. Pro Lemonade offers a package specifically for puppies and kittens. Get a'llemonade.com pet your future self will thank you.

[Coraline Jones]

Your pet won't. They don't know what insurance is. When I was 16, I had one of my best friends, Xtina, read Christina spend the night. We had decided to invite another one of our friends because she was a little depressed and we wanted to be there for her. Let's call her Luna. Aw, that's a cool name.

[Miranda Priestly]

I like that name.

[Coraline Jones]

We were hanging out in my room, listening to music, eating snacks and Giggling over boys.

[Miranda Priestly]

Oh, those were the days.

[Coraline Jones]

Luna got the sudden urge to go out to the kitchen and get some water. She said it had to be in a glass and it had to be from the fridge.

[Miranda Priestly]

We love a girl who knows what she wants.

[Coraline Jones]

Hydration is important. When she came back and she didn't have water and her face was white, she said, there's a woman in the living room who wanted to see me.

[Miranda Priestly]

I'd be like, what?

[Coraline Jones]

I'd be like, that's a no for me. We walked out there cautiously because the only other person home was my dad and he had been asleep for hours at this point. We walked into the empty living room and Luna then realizes that she is looking at the ghost of my mother. She said her long brown hair was resting on the chair she was sitting in and her jeans had piano keys on them because remember, there was no picture with the piano key.

[Miranda Priestly]

Jeans? Yeah. So that was such a specific detail.

[Coraline Jones]

I immediately started crying as Luna repeats the words I have held dear and close to my heart. I love you, sweetie. She then says, look for the number.

[Miranda Priestly]

Oh, fuck.

[Coraline Jones]

Luna becomes quiet as I softly sob. It was probably actually a loud, ugly cry. After a few minutes, Luna then looks around and asks why we're in the living room. We tell her everything that happened and she has no memory of any of it.

[Miranda Priestly]

That's.

[Coraline Jones]

She doesn't even remember wanting water in a glass from the fridge. The only thing my mother ever drank.

[Miranda Priestly]

Oh, wow.

[Coraline Jones]

A few years passed and Now I am 19 and pregnant. On my drive over to tell my father the news, every single car that passed me had a 23 on their license plate.

[Miranda Priestly]

My goosebumps will not go away.

[Coraline Jones]

Now every time I have big news. Passing my GED tests. Getting divorced from my very first, my first son's dad. Getting married to my current husband. Getting pregnant again. Graduating college, becoming a teacher. What about us?

[Miranda Priestly]

I know, okay. Accomplishments, mama.

[Coraline Jones]

I see 23 constantly. This has also happened when I have had big bad news. My father died of liver failure in 2015. When we got his ashes back, his ashes tag was 58735 plus 8 plus 7 plus 3 is. You guessed it, 23. Is this my mother telling me that she's there and still supporting me from the afterlife? Yes, it is. The morning after my father died, a friend of mine called me crying. She said she had a dream of two women carrying my father's soul away. Oh, I gotta chill. Yeah. She described my mother and my paternal grandmother perfectly, even though she had never seen a picture of either of them. If I'm driving and feeling nervous because it's a big DUI party night or something just feels off. Street lights will turn off the night. The night that street lights don't turn off. I will not, cannot keep driving. And numerous times there have been near fatal or near fatal accidents near a route I would have been driving.

[Miranda Priestly]

That's crazy.

[Coraline Jones]

I have numerous small stories like this and thank my mother every single time. My kids have both giggled uncontrollably at her photos. Like they play with her often and know she is with a was a big goofball and only wanted people to be happy. I guess I will end this now by saying keep it weird, but not so weird that you're a creepy ghost man in chains in a young girl's closet, earn her trust and then lock her in the chains once you freeze you. But also do keep it so weird that you send your children signs as a ghost and make your grandbabies laugh uncontrollably even though you never got to meet them.

[Miranda Priestly]

Rose, that's a crazy and beautiful story.

[Coraline Jones]

That was unbelievable. That was terrifying and really beautiful and touching. I loved it. That hit like every damn everyone. That hit every bone in my bodies.

[Miranda Priestly]

All of my body that is just made of bones.

[Coraline Jones]

I loved it.

[Miranda Priestly]

All right, my next one is Listener Tale. That time that I pissed on a rapist MacBook Pro.

[Coraline Jones]

I'm in.

[Miranda Priestly]

I'm obsessed.

[Coraline Jones]

I'm in.

[Miranda Priestly]

Good afternoon, spooky sistas.

[Coraline Jones]

Good afternoon.

[Miranda Priestly]

Literally perfect. Because it is afternoon.

[Coraline Jones]

It is.

[Miranda Priestly]

Please find my double spaced 14 point attached. I adore y' all and hope you enjoy this tale. Please pick me, Dub Dub.

[Coraline Jones]

She did.

[Miranda Priestly]

She did. Hello, my lovely witches. My name is Sam and my pronouns are she, her, and hers. Thank you, Sam. Hello, Sam. You can use my name because there are a billion Sams out there. You can use the other names in this story because one of them also has a super common name like mine. I actually married someone with the same name as his. Haha. I'm a long time listener. Maybe like three years. I don't know. But I was with y' all underwater, if you know what I mean.

[Coraline Jones]

Hell yeah. That's.

[Miranda Priestly]

That's a true blue.

[Coraline Jones]

Yeah.

[Miranda Priestly]

I'm writing from Elena's favorite place in the world. Nola. Nola. We love to hear it.

[Coraline Jones]

Nolan's.

[Miranda Priestly]

Here comes the gushy mushy love. I truly adore y'. All. Elena, I read your book in like two days.

[Coraline Jones]

Oh, thank you.

[Miranda Priestly]

It was so incredible. The twist.

[Coraline Jones]

The twist.

[Miranda Priestly]

I was mind blown Emoji.

[Coraline Jones]

Ugh, I love it.

[Miranda Priestly]

Same. That's a great fucking twist. I'm just really proud of you and so happy you get to influence so many people with your badassery.

[Coraline Jones]

Oh, thank you.

[Miranda Priestly]

So sweet.

[Coraline Jones]

Really nice.

[Miranda Priestly]

Ash, congrats on your engagement. I got. That's so funny because it's actually almost my two year anniversary. It's like a couple days away. I got married a little over a year ago now. And my best piece of advice is to try to not be super stressed out all day. Once the actual day comes, there will very likely be things that didn't go as planned. It's hard when you spent so much time and money to be honest, but there's literally nothing you can do about it. So go get your mans and know that everything works out how it's meant to.

[Coraline Jones]

That was really nice.

[Miranda Priestly]

That was so nice. And you know what it did? There was like very minimal things that went wrong, but when they did, I was like, I just want to marry Drew. Yeah, that was your best advice that you gave me too. For example, it literally rained on all my guests as they waited for me to walk down the aisle. And of course, the rain stopped just for me.

[Coraline Jones]

Oh, hell yeah.

[Miranda Priestly]

I felt bad for my guests, but like, I can't control the weather. Sorry, guys. Anyway, time for my actual tale. It's a bit of a mix. Kind of funny at the beginning, but gets very serious and up at the end. Please do enjoy my double spaced puffer. And I hope y' all enjoy it.

[Coraline Jones]

I'm ready.

[Miranda Priestly]

We're gonna enjoy out of it. In 2010, I started at the University of Georgia present college football national champions.

[Coraline Jones]

Woo.

[Miranda Priestly]

Sorry, I had to. I don't know what that means, but you guys go. I joined a sorority. You spelled it like that. Like with the uppercase lowercase letters. Which was pretty common in big southern schools back then. From a quick Google search, about 29% of the students at UGA join. That's crazy. Anywho, I got invited to go to a frat party with one of my best friends from high school, Billy. Billy has also come out since college, which seems like an unnecessary fact, but plays into the story because I definitely felt super safe with him. And we were not sexually attracted to each other.

[Coraline Jones]

Twas platonic.

[Miranda Priestly]

I love it. So I go to the party, drink a ton, and we go back to Billy's dorm at some point in the middle of the night. Okay, so why didn't I go back to my own dorm?

[Coraline Jones]

I don't know.

[Miranda Priestly]

Definitely wasn't Trying to fuck Billy, but I guess I just didn't want the night to end.

[Coraline Jones]

Definitely wasn't trying to fuck Billy.

[Miranda Priestly]

I love it.

[Coraline Jones]

For sure.

[Miranda Priestly]

And then, who knows? Not me. Probably because I was so up that Billy wanted to make sure I was safe and he wasn't allowed to go in my dorm. Okay.

[Coraline Jones]

Oh, Billy's a good guy.

[Miranda Priestly]

He is a good guy. Now, I need to back up a bit and give y' all a little info on my dorm room. I chose my dorm because it was one of the only dorm buildings that had their own sinks. All of the dorms on campus had community bathrooms, but only two or three of the super small dorms had their own sinks, which was one of mine. The other huge dorms didn't have sinks, but they were cooler for some reason, I don't know. So I stayed with my friends on the cool dorms fairly often. But when I did stay in my own dorm and I had to go pee in the middle of the night because I drank like a fish pretty much every day of college, I used to pee in my own sink. Vomit emoji times a thousand. It's very shameful to admit this as a grown woman, but I promise you, everyone was doing it in college.

[Coraline Jones]

I hope he said.

[Miranda Priestly]

I hope he said, I hope you have shame.

[Coraline Jones]

I hope you're ashamed. How dare you?

[Miranda Priestly]

Oh, Nicholas, I promise you, everyone was doing it in college. We were repulsive. We were living off four locos and ramen noodles. We had just left our parents houses for the first time in our lives. We were wild animals. Holy shit. You can judge me. Hell, I'm judging me. Also, yeah, I had a roommate. She hated me. I would have hated me, too. Sorry, K. And yes, this is the same thing that we brushed our teeth in.

[Coraline Jones]

I know.

[Miranda Priestly]

She goes, I know, I know, I know. I'm trash. Okay, so now that that's over, I can get on with my story. I woke up in the middle of the night in Billy's dorm and I really had to pee. I'm half asleep and I'm still wasted as fuck. So I go to Billy's roommate's desk where his open laptop was sitting, and I. And I stand up on his desk chair, turn around, pull down my pants, squat, and piss all over his roommate's open laptop. Up.

[Coraline Jones]

And then she goes.

[Miranda Priestly]

She goes, yep, I did that.

[Coraline Jones]

Yep, I did that.

[Miranda Priestly]

How do I know I did? How do I know I did that? Well, honestly, I don't. I don't remember it at all.

[Coraline Jones]

Oh, my God.

[Miranda Priestly]

I woke up the next morning to Billy's roommate, whose name is Butch, shouting that one of us had spilled a drink all over his laptop in some form. Yeah, maybe.

[Coraline Jones]

Yeah.

[Miranda Priestly]

Billy immediately started apologizing, and so did I. We told him we would pay for it. I changed into some of Billy's sweats. Shacker clothes were like a badge of honor back in the day. So weird. I'm obsessed. College is such a wild time.

[Coraline Jones]

It is.

[Miranda Priestly]

And we left to go to the dining hall for breakfast. The second we closed the door, Billy goes, sam, you peed on his laptop last night. I was like, what the. No, I didn't. And he was like, dude, I saw you in the middle of the night. Go pee on it. And I was like, what the. At this point, I had known Billy for a long ass time, and I knew he wasn't lying. And I realized that that laptop, unfortunately, was located in the same spot as my sink was located in my dorm.

[Coraline Jones]

I love that. He's just like, girl, I saw you pee on that laptop.

[Miranda Priestly]

What a fucking solid ass friend, though. Because he was like, damn, sorry that we spilled a drink on that. And then our bag closes.

[Coraline Jones]

He's like, yo, I saw you piss on that laptop.

[Miranda Priestly]

He's like, hey, bitch, what were you doing? Okay, so now I need to figure out how to pay for this piss.

[Coraline Jones]

Computer as a broke college kid who.

[Miranda Priestly]

Can'T tell her single mom that she was blackout drunk and pissed on a $2,000 computer. So I tell Butch that I'm sorry I spilled a drink on his computer and I was gonna have to try to find random jobs to pay him back for it.

[Coraline Jones]

Would you be like, I didn't do it?

[Miranda Priestly]

Yeah, I'd be like, I don't know what you're talking about. That's your laptop and your problem. He agrees and goes and gets a rental laptop. Well, let's just say waiting tables at the local watering hole with super creepy old men wasn't making that $2,000 happen very quickly. Shockly, yeah. Honestly, I had only saved up a few hundred dollars before I get a call from the dean of something important as from uga, telling me if I didn't pay my back in some super short ass amount of time, that he would be pressing charges that may lead to my expulsion.

[Coraline Jones]

Oh, what a piece of.

[Miranda Priestly]

It's also, like, for spilling a drink.

[Coraline Jones]

Like, sure, you pissed on the laptop. But he didn't know that.

[Miranda Priestly]

He didn't know that. Although maybe he figured it out. And then that's when he was like.

[Coraline Jones]

I'm Gonna press charges? Yeah.

[Miranda Priestly]

What the. Turns out that Butch's dad was some super entitled who literally thinks that he can do anything to anyone. So I cried a ton. And I called my mom and I had to tell her everything. She lended me $2,000 and I try to give it to Butch, and then this asshole has the audacity to tell me I also have to pay for his rental laptop.

[Coraline Jones]

Oh, fuck that.

[Miranda Priestly]

Yeah, fuck that.

[Coraline Jones]

A whole.

[Miranda Priestly]

A whole bunch. Okay, y', all, I know that's fair, but it was. No, it's not. It was super, super hard for my mom to even find $2,000. And I knew that Butch's family was rich as fuck, so it just felt icky.

[Coraline Jones]

It is icky.

[Miranda Priestly]

It is. Fuck them. I called my mom back. I got another $800 or something for the rental laptop. And I finally paid back butcher glitch for the water damage.

[Coraline Jones]

Water damage?

[Miranda Priestly]

Hey, maybe you were really hydrated. It was probably a lot of water. Well, actually, you weren't. Never mind. I go on with my life. I eventually pay my mom back and all's good. About a year later, I move out of the dorms and into the sort. Did I say I'm moving? Where are you going?

[Coraline Jones]

Where are you going?

[Miranda Priestly]

Don't go to Georgia. This. This gal might piss on your laptop.

[Coraline Jones]

Don't leave me. If you have one, let me know where you're going.

[Miranda Priestly]

You guys really bonded, huh? We did. It's crazy. All right, so fast forward. I moved out of the dorms into the sorority house. I get a call from Billy, and I was like, what the. We don't call. We text calling is like super cringe, honestly.

[Coraline Jones]

Yeah, it is.

[Miranda Priestly]

Don't call me. So I either thought that one of our high school friends had died or something or that Billy was just butt dialing me, but I picked up Billy. Sam, Butch got arrested for raping a girl. Holy me, huh? Billy, check your phone. Me opens article to the news story. I'm vomiting. Not actually, but my body was convulsing and my heart was racing. For those who can't see this article, Butch is shown with bloody claw marks all over his face. He attacked a girl and attempted to rape her on a sidewalk at 2:30am on a Monday.

[Coraline Jones]

Oh, my God.

[Miranda Priestly]

And then trying to flee, the police dove butt ass naked into a lake to try to get away. What a fucking vile piece of garbage, that guy. He didn't get away.

[Coraline Jones]

I love that she just wrote, he didn't.

[Miranda Priestly]

Yeah, he didn't.

[Coraline Jones]

He didn't.

[Miranda Priestly]

He didn't get away. The part that infuriates me beyond belief is that because his dad is super rich and his has friends with connections or something, Butch only had to go to jail for a few days.

[Coraline Jones]

Oh, that.

[Miranda Priestly]

And he was let out on $10,000 bond. And all he had to do was sir was serve community service and be on probation. What the.

[Coraline Jones]

What the.

[Miranda Priestly]

Indeed it still with me that I slept in the same room as this monster. I'm not ignorant to the fact that a broken laptop is nothing compared to what could have happened. To conclude you, Butch, that wasn't a spilled drink. That was my piss.

[Coraline Jones]

Hell yes. Like, I pissed on your laptop. That.

[Miranda Priestly]

I love y' all so much and I hope y' all keep it weird, but not so weird that you use your sink as a toilet because you're a lazy piece of trash. P. S. Let me know if you want to hear the story about how I saw my first not in a cadaver lab dead body the night before my wedding.

[Coraline Jones]

Of course I want to hear that.

[Miranda Priestly]

Would you even have to ask? Yeah. Come on, PPS Here's a cute picture of me and my will during our second line at our wedding in nola. And of course, a pic of our cute little puppet puppy, Koda on our wedding day. Nicholas was like, I know. I know.

[Coraline Jones]

Your dog, Koda. It's been so great. I loved your wedding.

[Miranda Priestly]

I love your wedding. Holy Sam, that was such a good story. Sam.

[Coraline Jones]

I am.

[Miranda Priestly]

Wow, Sam. Yeah. The universe just knew that you should have pissed on that guy's laptop. I can't believe you pissed in your sink, girl. But, you know, we've all done some gross shit.

[Coraline Jones]

Yeah. I had no idea that pissing in the sink was such a common occurrence.

[Miranda Priestly]

I was a trash human for a really, really long time, and I never pissed in a sink. Damn, I pissed outdoors.

[Coraline Jones]

She really just called you out? Oh, yeah.

[Miranda Priestly]

I'm sorry. I didn't mean that.

[Coraline Jones]

She said me, I was a trash human, but I never was that trashy.

[Miranda Priestly]

But, like, non derogatory.

[Coraline Jones]

It was very Miranda Priestly. It was. You were like, not me. Couldn't be me.

[Miranda Priestly]

I wasn't that trashy.

[Coraline Jones]

Oh, I did.

[Miranda Priestly]

It's actually super weird because my sweat. I don't even know if you can see the. I'm telling you a story.

[Coraline Jones]

Sweat weather. Okay.

[Miranda Priestly]

I don't know if you can see this on the video. You can leave this in. But I'm really in a place of leaving in. This just keeps getting lowered. Sad. I'm trying to talk. I'm sorry that you're sad. You can get through to us. Are you pushing my microphone down though? Because as I'm telling stories, it's like going lower and lower. I think maybe it is.

[Coraline Jones]

Nicholas, you trying to get our attention?

[Miranda Priestly]

Nicholas, what's going on?

[Coraline Jones]

Nicholas, don't be sad.

[Miranda Priestly]

We got your back, homie.

[Coraline Jones]

Yeah. We love you, Nicholas.

[Miranda Priestly]

Big love, Nicholas. For life.

[Coraline Jones]

Okay, so that was amazing, Sam.

[Miranda Priestly]

Foreign.

[Coraline Jones]

Guys.

[Miranda Priestly]

We live in such a world of convenience today that sometimes it's kind of easy to sacrifice quality nutrition for convenience. I come into work, well, let me, let me asterisk that. I used to come into work quite often and say, elena, let's order breakfast this morning. And then I realized we were spending so much money doing that and I was like not really feeling that great. Great. Thank goodness I found cachava. It is a whole body meal packed with everything the mind and body crave without the guilt or the greasy bag. And you know, it's delicious. Each serving delivers 25 grams of 100 plant based protein. And it comes in six different flavors like chocolate, vanilla, chai, matcha, coconut, acai and now strawberry. With every two scoops of Cachava, you get over 85 superfoods, nutrients and plant based ingredients. No artificial flavors, colors or sweeteners. Just clean, delicious fuel that fits a busy schedule. Cachava makes it easy to stop sacrificing quality for convenience and start feeling good about what's in the cup. I make a cachava almost every single morning. I do one scoop of vanilla, one scoop of chai. I make myself a little vanilla chai every now and again when I'm getting crazy, I'll do strawberry into it like the strawberry cachoba. Scoop into a smoothie with a little bit of peanut butter and it's like a peanut butter and jelly smoothie. It's super convenient, it's super easy and my body feels good. It feels great. It feels iconic and beautiful when I'm drinking cachava. Your future self will thank you. Go to kachava.com and use code morbidpod for 15 off your next order. That's Kachava. K A C h a v a.com code morbidpod for 15 off on deck.

[Sponsor/Ad Voice]

Is built to back small businesses like yours. Whether you're buying equipment, expanding your team or bridging cash flow, gaps on deck's loans up to $250,000 help make it happen fast. Rated A by the Better Business Bureau and earning thousands of five star trust pilot reviews Ondeck delivers funding you can count on. Apply in [e-mail] depending on certain loan attributes, your business loan may be issued by Ondeck or Celtic Bank. Ondeck does not lend in North Dakota. All loans and amounts subject to lender approval.

[Miranda Priestly]

If you're an experienced pet owner, you.

[Coraline Jones]

Already know that having a pet is.

[Miranda Priestly]

25% belly rubs, 25% yelling drop it. And 50% groaning at the bill from every vet visit. Which is why Lemonade Pet Insurance is tailor made for your pet and can save you up to 90% on vet bills. It can help cover checkups, emergencies, diagnostics, basically all the stuff that makes your bank account nervous. Claims are filed super easy through the Lemonade app and half get settled instantly. Get a'@lemonade.com pet and they'll help cover the vet bill for whatever your pet swallowed after you yelled drop it.

[Coraline Jones]

Now we have Listener Tale Hoarders have Secrets.

[Miranda Priestly]

Hoarders have Secrets. I've never seen that show on tlc.

[Coraline Jones]

No, that sounds like a great show. Hoarders have Secrets. Period.

[Miranda Priestly]

I would watch that because I can't watch the TLC one. It's so sad.

[Coraline Jones]

No, it's awful. Yeah. So sad. Yeah. Hi you two beautiful humans. Also shout out to Deb Deb. My name is Casey and you can use it. I like that smiley face. I submitted this listener tale previously but was a complete hot mess and ended up not attaching the story face palm.

[Miranda Priestly]

We all do.

[Coraline Jones]

However, I am proud of actually writing it down and have my mother's blessing to share with the world through your podcast. I love your show and await eagerly for each episode to drop. It's the only thing that gets me through folding laundry in my head. We are true best friends. You also introduced me to Buffy, although the episodes weren't coming out fast enough to keep up with me binging the series. Sorry, not sorry.

[Miranda Priestly]

Oh, it was so hard for me to not do that.

[Coraline Jones]

Oh yeah. Anyways, and now we're under True Blood. You should listen to it.

[Miranda Priestly]

Go watch the rewatcher.

[Coraline Jones]

Anyways, please enjoy the attached double space pudufa. Please advise that I've also attached pictures of a real and I severed finger and proceed at your own risk in viewing. I appreciate that. I think it's awesome though. I've also attached a picture of my fur baby who just turned one.

[Miranda Priestly]

Love fur baby hello.

[Coraline Jones]

You can use my name. Casey. I can't believe you're actually reading this. I saw you for years and I'm a big fan. Currently planning a tattoo in commemoration. I could not say that word of mine and your weirdness. I love that.

[Miranda Priestly]

Hell yeah. Let's see it.

[Coraline Jones]

I haven't written any. Let's see it.

[Miranda Priestly]

Let's see your tattoo.

[Coraline Jones]

Casey.

[Miranda Priestly]

We want to see the commemoration.

[Coraline Jones]

I want to see.

[Miranda Priestly]

Stop, commemorate and show us.

[Coraline Jones]

You are getting a tattoo. No, I had it, but it was finished. You know, I had a bad sleep score. I had a bad sleep score.

[Miranda Priestly]

You're being so mean to Elaine.

[Coraline Jones]

Everyone thinks that I'm mean.

[Miranda Priestly]

I can be a little mean.

[Coraline Jones]

She's being very Miranda Priestly today.

[Miranda Priestly]

I'm channeling the energy.

[Coraline Jones]

You were. You're method acting. I haven't written anything in years as I am a college dropout and it is not required at my job. I get it. So please allow some grace in the grammar and run on sentences. Also, this story is still developing as the years roll by. So this is as it stands now. Damn. To be honest, I don't think I ever had a listener tale to contribute until my friend gave me a dumb bitch moment and reminded me of this tale. Small disclaimer. The part of my extended family in this story is in no way a reflection of my immediate family. And my mom has overcome so much mental turbulence from them and her childhood abuse.

[Miranda Priestly]

Oh.

[Coraline Jones]

Oh.

[Miranda Priestly]

I'm happy that she's overcome it, but I'm sorry that she experienced it it.

[Coraline Jones]

I'm from a town in Utah where me and my high school sweetheart raise our fur baby. My mom grew up in a more rural town 30 minutes south of where we are now. My grandma and grandpa had become special needs foster parents and eventually adopted eight kids.

[Miranda Priestly]

Damn good.

[Coraline Jones]

Yeah. That was into in addition to the original five kids they already had, that included my mom. Her childhood was rough for many reasons.

[Miranda Priestly]

Wait. I'm so sorry. Is that 13 kids?

[Coraline Jones]

That's a lot of kids. Yeah. Yeah.

[Miranda Priestly]

I just did quick math. Look at me.

[Coraline Jones]

Whoa. Her childhood was rough for many reasons including she was the only girl of all boys and my grand had an addiction to hoarding. I am talking like TLC series level of hoarding. Let us fast forward to a couple years ago and my grandma's health was rapidly declining. I'm only going to spare some of the details as I don't want to steal from the true point of this story. But with her needing a lot of assistance and the condition of the house was in, my mom opted to put her in a care facility with her out of the house. My grandpa's house health was also not the best and having four of my special needs uncles in the house, he also Needed a lot of existence. That's a lot.

[Miranda Priestly]

That is.

[Coraline Jones]

My mom's sister and I took on the responsibility of taking dinners down, taking them to appointments, and even started shoveling the garbage out that had overtaken the house. Oh, that's awful. I got to the point where my poor grandpa couldn't do it on his own anymore. And after my grandma passed away, he went to the assisted living facility as well.

[Miranda Priestly]

That's, like, so sad. But I'm also so glad that he got to live in, like, a clean place at the end of his life.

[Coraline Jones]

Exactly. With everyone out of the house, we began work on cleaning out the house to figure out if it was even possible to sell or if it would have to demolish it and sell the land. Let me tell you, it was not for the squeamish. For years, my mom tried to give us a relationship with my grandparents, and we would often go down to visit, even if we had to stand by the front door because there was nowhere else to go. Oh, wow. I thought I had built up a tolerance for the smell and disaster. However, there were parts of that house that not even my mom had seen in 30 years.

[Miranda Priestly]

Oh, my God.

[Coraline Jones]

A lot can get buried in that amount of time. It took 17 dumpsters of garbage to get through the first three rooms, and that is just what my family was able to accomplish. Animal trigger warning. We did find several dead cats and lots of rats.

[Miranda Priestly]

That always happens on that TLC show, and that's part of why I can't watch it.

[Coraline Jones]

One room was filled from floor to ceiling with clothes mixed with human feces.

[Miranda Priestly]

Oh, man.

[Coraline Jones]

Don't mean to overshare and gross you out. Just trying to convey the nastiness that was there and the condition in which they were living in.

[Miranda Priestly]

It's sad. It's a mental illness.

[Coraline Jones]

It is. We ended up being so overwhelmed emotionally and physically by the job that my mom and her oldest brother made the decision to sell the house. As is, some very talented and determined diyers bought it and picked up where we left off.

[Miranda Priestly]

Wow. That's remarkable. I didn't even know you could do that.

[Coraline Jones]

I didn't know that either. Where does the true crime start in all this? You may ask. I'm asking. Here's the part of the story that we're all here for. While they were in the middle of renovating in the cold storage basement that nobody had accessed in years, they found a freaking severed finger. Pictures are attached. If you can handle it.

[Miranda Priestly]

What?

[Coraline Jones]

Girl, I can handle it.

[Miranda Priestly]

We know you can. I. I Know you can.

[Coraline Jones]

It was preserved pretty well from my non medical opinion in a small glass jar.

[Miranda Priestly]

Preserve and in a jar.

[Coraline Jones]

Hello. After taking pictures and reporting it to the police. Small town, so likely nothing will come of this. We promptly went to visit my grandpa to see what the hell he knew about this. He told us that he had seen it before.

[Miranda Priestly]

Grandpa.

[Coraline Jones]

He didn't know what to do with it so he just put it back and didn't say anything to anyone.

[Miranda Priestly]

Grandpa, I'm tired of this.

[Coraline Jones]

Grandpa. I'm tired of this. Grandpa.

[Miranda Priestly]

And he said well that was too damn bad.

[Coraline Jones]

That's my severed finger.

[Miranda Priestly]

It's not. Wow. That's the problem. It's not his severed finger.

[Coraline Jones]

He then refused to talk about it any further. What? My grandpa was a more quiet person and was definitely not the dominant personality in my grandparents marriage. When we were getting stories for my grandma's funeral, her sister mentioned several times that he would just go along with whatever plan or manipulation she had going at the time.

[Miranda Priestly]

Yikes.

[Coraline Jones]

Was he afraid of my grandma? I now found myself asking. Turns out it wasn't the first off color thing to happen in that house. Oh man. As I mentioned earlier, my grandparents fostered many special needs kids and adults. Hold on to your butts. One of the little girls went missing shortly after arriving in their custody.

[Miranda Priestly]

Oh.

[Coraline Jones]

My mom was younger so she doesn't know if she just ran away or something else happened. In fact, the girl's family would drive by my grandparents house when they were outside on the porch and stare them down. Oh. The family was convinced that they did something to her even though there was nothing to suggest foul play. But because it was the 80s, nothing was really done about it to find out either way. Was that the kid's finger?

[Miranda Priestly]

Is it a kid's finger?

[Coraline Jones]

Actually it's probably not. More looks more like an adult size.

[Miranda Priestly]

I literally was reading along with you but I didn't even think. See the next part I swear.

[Coraline Jones]

Was it a kid's figure?

[Miranda Priestly]

The way you just answered, probably not.

[Coraline Jones]

Looks more like an adult size. But still, someone, apparently me, is the only one asking these things. My mom had to deal with all of this along with the passing of my grandma, which brought up some conflicting feelings from her own childhood trauma of things that I can't even scratch the surface of. Sure my mom is superwoman strong. A so many questions. Some of which are who is missing this finger? Who put said finger in a jar? Why did nobody question the girl's disappearance? Are my grandparents criminals?

[Miranda Priestly]

Yes.

[Coraline Jones]

I know this isn't The Babe.

[Miranda Priestly]

Babe. Pause right there.

[Coraline Jones]

Babe.

[Miranda Priestly]

We know a lot of.

[Coraline Jones]

We. No, no, no.

[Miranda Priestly]

Here's the thing. We don't know a lot of things, but one thing is for sure, your grandparents are criminals. And that's the name of this episode, Listener Tales. Your grandparents are criminals.

[Coraline Jones]

Absolutely.

[Miranda Priestly]

What the.

[Coraline Jones]

I. I don't know. Are my grandparents criminals? Yes. I know this isn't the most exciting listener tale you have gotten.

[Miranda Priestly]

It's pretty up there.

[Coraline Jones]

But I finally had something to contribute. It was also fun to write this down as it became a good party anecdote, which is how it got the name the Lone Fange.

[Miranda Priestly]

The Lone.

[Coraline Jones]

The Lone Fange.

[Miranda Priestly]

I like phalange better. It's a little brunch.

[Coraline Jones]

Thanks for letting me share. You betcha. Keep it weird, but not so weird that you had a severed finger in your cold storage and not tell anyone about it. Also, don't keep it so weird that your foster kid runs away and nobody cares. And don't keep it so weird that you have a hoarder house that could be full of other possible human body parts.

[Miranda Priestly]

Bye.

[Coraline Jones]

That was heavy, babe. That was heavy, babe. I look over and you're just like.

[Miranda Priestly]

I'm just lost in thought, lost in the sauce.

[Coraline Jones]

This is. That's some other mother. Shit.

[Miranda Priestly]

That is some other mother. That was crazy.

[Coraline Jones]

Damn. All right.

[Miranda Priestly]

Wild.

[Coraline Jones]

Hopefully your grandparents are criminals.

[Miranda Priestly]

Yeah, your grandparents are criminals, but.

[Coraline Jones]

Holy.

[Miranda Priestly]

Hopefully. I've been watching so many of Ryan Lil's tiktoks lately.

[Coraline Jones]

Ryan Lil is one of the funniest humans on the planet. And also one of the sweetest humans.

[Miranda Priestly]

All of the above. If you don't follow Ryan Lil, get out of here.

[Coraline Jones]

Ryan Lil Washington. Follow him on everything.

[Miranda Priestly]

Follow him back.

[Coraline Jones]

Get his books into the pines. Oh, so good.

[Miranda Priestly]

Good. Our quotes are on them.

[Coraline Jones]

It's true. All right.

[Miranda Priestly]

For Listener Tale, not all ghosts are evil.

[Coraline Jones]

Agreed. I. Yeah. Right.

[Miranda Priestly]

Nicholas. Hello, weird and wonderful ladies. First of all, thank you for your captivating content. You're welcome. And for your equally captivating and often hilarious personalities. You are great. Thank you. I don't listen to a lot of podcasts. Only two. You and Mr. Ballin. We love Mr. Ballin.

[Coraline Jones]

Came over to Sirius.

[Miranda Priestly]

Yeah.

[Coraline Jones]

From Wondering.

[Miranda Priestly]

Came to the Good place. Stumbling across one of your listener tales was what got me hooked. My name is Mark. Feel free to use it and any other names mentioned in this tale. Mark, I am 65 years old, and I no longer give a shit about what people think.

[Coraline Jones]

Mark, I literally love you.

[Miranda Priestly]

Mark. I turned 65 today, and I also don't care what people.

[Coraline Jones]

She also doesn't give a that's great.

[Miranda Priestly]

If you're not watching this, that's so confusing for you.

[Coraline Jones]

It's true. You're it. Trust me, it makes sense.

[Miranda Priestly]

Mark, I love you. You all right? So, okay. On with my tail. I would truly like your point of view as to if the spirits in this tale are evil or if they're trying to be protective. So this story is 100 true. I know because it happened to my wife, my son and myself back in 1975. Hell yeah, we will call this Moved in, moved out two days later.

[Coraline Jones]

Okay.

[Miranda Priestly]

In March of 1975, my wife Angela and I were expecting our firstborn and in expectation of his arrival, had just purchased our first first home. Oh then that's beautiful. Congrats. Retroactively.

[Coraline Jones]

Yeah.

[Miranda Priestly]

The night before we were to to due to move in, my wife went into labor. Our son came into the world at 3:56am Amazingly, I remember every detail of that night and the following two days as if it was today. Mark, I never gave you permission to make me cry like that.

[Coraline Jones]

Seriously. Never change.

[Miranda Priestly]

The morning after his birth, I gathered a few friends and moved all our crap over to our new home. This took all day and I didn't have time to set up everything up, so I put a mattress on the floor in the bedroom and set our son's crib next to it. The rest of the stuff was piled against the walls and sliding glass doors, which is important later in the story. Angela and Johnny were released from the hospital that evening, so I locked up the house and went to pick them up, then stopped for dinner with our friends Scott and Debbie. After dinner, the four of us returned to the new house. When we went to go in, I noticed the front door was unlocked. I know when I left that I locked all the doors and the windows. I shrugged it off as being the real estate agent just checking up. Angie put our son to sleep in his crib and the four of us adults visited and drank a few brews until around 11pm When Scott and Debbie headed home, I locked the front doors. Two locks handle and bolt and we went to bed as newborns do. Our son woke up at around 2am screaming to be fed. Before I could get up to get him, I felt movement on my wife's side of the bed and heard my son quiet down. Assuming my wife had handled the situation, I went back to sleep. Sleep well. You know. What about assuming it makes an ass out of you and me? It does, it does. I found out the next day. How true that was. I woke up before my wife headed to the kitchen to make coffee. To my pleasant surprise, it was already brewed and waiting again. Assuming my wife had woken up early and started the coffee and went then went back to bed, I poured a cup and turned to go into the living room to sit and drink my coffee. That's when I noticed it. Baby powder. Splotches of baby powder were going from the coffee pot, through the kitchen, out the living room, beyond the still locked front door and into the driveway. I checked through the house and all the doors and windows were still locked. It was strange to say the least. Yeah, but not beyond the type of prank that my friends would pull. So you're thinking maybe this is your friends? I didn't let it get to me until later that evening. That evening, Scott, Debbie and two other friends all met up for dinner. As we were sitting having a casual conversation. As we ate, I asked Scott if he was in the baby in on the baby powder prank. His response was baby powder? What are you talking about? That told me he was not in on it.

[Coraline Jones]

Oh no.

[Miranda Priestly]

I proceeded to tell him about it and he couldn't figure out how it was done either. But it was a few minutes later that sent chills down my spine and made me question my sanity. When my wife thanked me for getting up to care for our son at 2am and for putting him in bed with us, I was stunned speechless. How do I handle this? Do I tell her that I didn't get up and take care of our son, let alone put him in bed beside her? She would freak out and think that I was lying or with her. So I just sat there nodding my head and stunned silence.

[Coraline Jones]

Honestly, that's probably smart in that situation.

[Miranda Priestly]

Yeah, because she's literally like a brand.

[Coraline Jones]

New front of people. You're just like in front of people. Yeah.

[Miranda Priestly]

So we returned home around nine that night and found nothing out of the order. Ordinary doors and windows still locked. Our bed frame and box spring leaned securely against the sliding glass door leading to our carport. So I didn't worry too much about the strange things that had happened, telling myself that there was a logical explanation for it. It's important at this point to inject the fact that we had earlier that day unpacked a lot of our belongings and had put up shelves and pictures in the living room and the bedroom. One of the shelves I had installed was above Johnny's crib and held an array of bedtime storybooks and stuffed animals, toys, etc. The installed Shelves in the living room held our collection of fantasy figures, crystal dragons, carved wood wizards, and various dungeons and dragons games. Equip game equipment. You guys sound awesome.

[Coraline Jones]

Truly.

[Miranda Priestly]

Okay, on to what caused us to move out the next day and put the house back on the market. I forgot.

[Coraline Jones]

It's like two days.

[Miranda Priestly]

I forgot that that was it too. Angie put our son to bed and her and I snuggled on the couch and watched a movie before going to bed. I slept hard that night. Night. Didn't hear our son wake up for his 2am feeding or his diaper changes. I woke early about 5am and got up to make coffee and surprise my wife with breakfast in bed.

[Coraline Jones]

Mark a good man.

[Miranda Priestly]

I noticed upon getting up that our son was sound asleep, snuggled against his mother. I saw no baby powder this morning. However, the coffee was already brewed and mine and Angie's coffee cups were set beside the coffee maker, along with the sugar bowl and the creamer. I chose to ignore this and I just made breakfast. Biscuits and gravy. Eggs, ham and English muffins with butter and jam.

[Coraline Jones]

Holy.

[Miranda Priestly]

Mark.

[Coraline Jones]

Mark.

[Miranda Priestly]

Angie is a lucky lady. I love biscuits and gravy. I placed Angie's breakfast on a tray with a cup of coffee prepared to her taste.

[Coraline Jones]

Listen to this. I mean, Mark, a dream. Mark forever.

[Miranda Priestly]

I picked up the tray and I turned to go to the bedroom and almost dropped the tray because on the floor not more than three feet away from me sat a single red long stem rose in the center of a ring of, you guessed it, baby baby powder. What the.

[Coraline Jones]

But, like, this is so nice.

[Miranda Priestly]

It's all so lovely.

[Coraline Jones]

It's so nice.

[Miranda Priestly]

Like, is this.

[Coraline Jones]

Is this ghost making you coffee in the morning?

[Miranda Priestly]

Because, like, no, he literally. He or she literally is. And they also tended to your baby in the night, perhaps twice.

[Coraline Jones]

This is a boss behavior, to be honest.

[Miranda Priestly]

But also, is it being nice to like, lure you into a sense of. I know.

[Coraline Jones]

I don't trust it.

[Miranda Priestly]

Yeah. I don't know. I know that. There was no one else in the house and Angie and Johnny were still sound asleep. So I squatted down and picked up the rose, placing it on the tray and mumbling a thank you under my breath to whoever provided it.

[Coraline Jones]

I love that he's just like.

[Miranda Priestly]

He's like, yeah, we'll go with this.

[Coraline Jones]

Yeah, appreciate it.

[Miranda Priestly]

It.

[Coraline Jones]

And I love that they were just like, here, babe, add this to the. You need this. This. This is the piece de resistance.

[Miranda Priestly]

Yeah, of course.

[Coraline Jones]

I love that.

[Miranda Priestly]

So I took the tray into Angie, woke her up with a kiss and gave her the tray. Being very careful not to wake Johnny, I picked him up and put him back in the crib. I gave Angie a good morning kiss and went to get my breakfast. And as I entered the kitchen, I noticed that the circle of baby powder was gone, with no sign of it ever exist. Existing.

[Coraline Jones]

What the.

[Miranda Priestly]

That's insane. I picked up my breakfast and joined Angie. We ate and talked about things that newly married couples discussed until we had finished eating and John woke up needing a diaper change. I took the trays and dirty dishes into the kitchen as Angie placed Johnny on the bed to change him. I put the dishes in the sink and rinsed them. Then I unlocked the front door. That's when I heard Angie's bewildered call for me. I went into the room, and I saw Angie holding Johnny tight to her and staring at the crib. I turned my gaze from Angie to the crib, and what I witnessed was, as a new parent, terrifying. In the center of the crib, exactly where my son had been moments ago, was stacked all of our books. Not just the bedtime stories, but Dungeons and Dragons books as well. Angie and I stared at each other for a moment, and I could see the fear in her eyes. I took Johnny from her and told her to get dressed. I swear that was the quickest I have ever seen any woman get dressed.

[Coraline Jones]

Oh, my God.

[Miranda Priestly]

Within 10 minutes, we were in the car and headed to Scott and Debbie's house.

[Coraline Jones]

What the.

[Miranda Priestly]

While Angie and Johnny stayed inside with Debbie, Scott and I returned to the house to get a few needed items and lock up. When we entered the bedroom to grab the diaper bag and bottles, we noticed that the shelves, the shelf was torn from the wall and was in the crib as well, and the bottom of it had collapsed and was on the floor. I have goosebumps all down my arms and legs right now.

[Coraline Jones]

What's so weird is that we're like, wow, this is, like, really nice. And then we were like, I don't trust it, though.

[Miranda Priestly]

And then it got so dark.

[Coraline Jones]

What the.

[Miranda Priestly]

Oh, I don't like this at all. Scott and I just looked at each other, grabbed what we needed, and left quickly, almost forgetting to lock up. If our son had been in the crib, he would have been crushed. Yeah, I didn't know until later that night. The night before, neither Angie or I had gotten up and put Johnny in bed with us or had gotten him his bottle, which was on the bed when Scott and I had returned.

[Coraline Jones]

What the.

[Miranda Priestly]

It almost feels like there's, like, two energies at play here.

[Coraline Jones]

Like, one of them was trying to get him out of the crib. Yeah. Because that was not a safe place. Yeah.

[Miranda Priestly]

What the. We didn't go back to the house and we put it on the market that same day, so that's my tail. What do you think? There's no doubt that there was a spirit in that house, but was it potentially harmful or was it a protective spirit? You decide.

[Coraline Jones]

I think there was two.

[Miranda Priestly]

I think there was two at least.

[Coraline Jones]

I think.

[Miranda Priestly]

Yeah, I think there was two. Or I think there was one that was, like I said earlier, like, trying to lure you into a sense of trust and calm and then, like, with.

[Coraline Jones]

You for something like, they're moving the baby. So it's like. I don't. I think there was two. I think one was trying to come cause damage.

[Miranda Priestly]

Yeah.

[Coraline Jones]

Damn.

[Miranda Priestly]

Okay, so thank you so much for reading my tale and stay weird, but not so weird that a ghost prepares your coffee for you and then moves your child, only to nearly crush him and spreads baby powder all over your house. Looking forward to future podcasts full of your unique outlook and humor. Keep up the great work. A loyal listener and fellow weirdo. Mark P. S. I apologize. Yeah, thank you. I apologize for the long story. Please don't. But sometimes the details make the story they really do. Follow up. Recently, I visited that town in Oregon, and out of curiosity, I drove past the house. It was still there. In the front yard was a young couple and their daughter. The couple were about the same age as my wife and I had been when we purchased this house, and their daughter was about five years old. I stopped, introduced myself, and explained that many years ago, I had purchased that house and explained to the couple what we had experienced. And I was curious if they had any similar experiences in the house. The young woman chuckled and said, you're talking about Mabel.

[Coraline Jones]

Fucking Mabel. Hello. Tell me about Mabel.

[Miranda Priestly]

I was dumbfounded. She went on to say that Mabel had been a huge help over the five years that they lived there. That more than once she kept them safe from everything from a fire in the basement to a break in. It seems I may have jumped the gun on moving out. Mabel, they had discovered, had been a young single mother who was the original owner of the house and had passed away in the late 50s in a car accident. Her newborn child had survived the accident and and was raised by her grandparents. And get ready for it. The young woman who was living in the house, that was her grandmother.

[Coraline Jones]

Holy.

[Miranda Priestly]

Yep. Her mother's mother was in fact the very spirit that to this day takes care of their family and keeps them safe.

[Coraline Jones]

I love this.

[Miranda Priestly]

They intend on never moving and will pass the house onto their d daughter when she's old enough.

[Coraline Jones]

And Maple will take care of her.

[Miranda Priestly]

That was the most beautiful place to end that listener tale.

[Coraline Jones]

Mark, you just gave me full chills.

[Miranda Priestly]

Yeah, that's a beautiful story. So it was. It was just one energy who was like. I don't know, Mark, maybe you have.

[Coraline Jones]

Like a weird little yucky energy that Mabel was trying to get rid of.

[Miranda Priestly]

Yeah, maybe that's what it was. I was about to tell you. You just messed up when you installed the shelves.

[Coraline Jones]

Yeah, maybe that as well. Shelves are hard.

[Miranda Priestly]

Hard. Wow, guys. That was a solid ass batch of listeners.

[Coraline Jones]

That was a really solid batch of listeners.

[Miranda Priestly]

We had the mom turning off the street lights. We had a peeing on a rapist computer.

[Coraline Jones]

Hell yeah.

[Miranda Priestly]

We had Mark out here making ghost breakfast.

[Coraline Jones]

We had chained up men in closets.

[Miranda Priestly]

Chained up men in closets.

[Coraline Jones]

Like, what the.

[Miranda Priestly]

Yeah, that was.

[Coraline Jones]

That was a good one. We.

[Miranda Priestly]

We missed one. Oh, we had several. We had severed fingers. I think my. That was my trauma of that story. Just like protecting me.

[Coraline Jones]

You're like, forget about that.

[Miranda Priestly]

I was like, I don't remember.

[Coraline Jones]

No, we had severed fingers.

[Miranda Priestly]

Yeah, we had severed fingers. Those were great.

[Coraline Jones]

Yeah, I love them. You guys rock.

[Miranda Priestly]

You rock.

[Coraline Jones]

We got Mark, we got Sam, we got Rose, Casey. We got.

[Miranda Priestly]

And Casey.

[Coraline Jones]

Rose.

[Miranda Priestly]

Boom. You guys rock out loud. We love you and we hope you keep listening.

[Coraline Jones]

And we hope you Casey it.

[Miranda Priestly]

But not so weird that you don't send your listener tales into morbidpodcast. Gmail.com, please make them a P and I don't know, make a snappy headline.

[Coraline Jones]

Keep sending them because they're too fun.

[Miranda Priestly]

They're the best. We love this.

[Coraline Jones]

We never want to run out.

[Miranda Priestly]

And we'll see you next month with a pretty solid set of costumes.

[Coraline Jones]

Pretty solid.

[Miranda Priestly]

And with that, we leave you.

[Coraline Jones]

Goodbye.

[Miranda Priestly]

Oh, you gotta rip off your wig. This anti climacting. It's.

[Sponsor/Ad Voice]

At designer shoe warehouse. We believe that shoes are an important.

[Coraline Jones]

Part of, well, everything.

[Miranda Priestly]

From first steps to first dates. From all nighters to all time personal best.

[Sponsor/Ad Voice]

From building pillow forts to building a.

[Miranda Priestly]

Life for all the big and small moments that make up your whole world. DSW is there and we've got just the shoes. Find a shoe for every you from brands you love at bragworthy prices at your DSW store or dsw.com.