Listener Tales 105: Krampus Edition!

Summary

Morbid Podcast – Listener Tales 105: Krampus Edition!
Hosts: Ash Kelley & Alaina Urquhart
Date: December 18, 2025

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Episode Overview

This special “Krampus Edition” of Listener Tales is a festive, chaotic, and hilariously spooky holiday romp. Ash and Alaina read wild stories from their listeners, featuring everything from criminal neighbors with cursed energy, to supernatural encounters in the woods, out-of-body experiences, and a Christmas light display that accidentally attracts police drama. As always, the stories are served up with plenty of the hosts’ signature banter and warmth.

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Key Discussion Points and Stories

1. Krampus Vibes and Christmas Chaos ([02:03–03:00])

• The episode opens with Ash and Alaina in playful, faux-Krampus personas, joking:
  • Elena: “I'm Krampus one and I'm Krampus actually number one.” [01:58]
  • They riff about being “ancient,” holiday acrylics, and Krampus mischief.
  • Ash: “This is brought to you by you, for you, from you and all about you. And it's holiday themed.” [02:49]
• Tone: Silly, high-energy, and very much in the holiday spirit.

---

2. Story 1: The Dollar Tree Florida Man but Make It Alabama (aka Steve, the Felonious Neighbor)

Submitted by Andrea
([03:06–16:21])

The Tale:

• Andrea recounts moving to Mobile, AL, and living next to Steve — “chaotic energy with a side of felony” ([05:32]).
• Steve’s misdeeds escalate:
  • Constant activity at his house, revving motorcycle at night, and sketchy trash habits.
  • Utilities shut off for nonpayment—he cuts off a city padlock to restore his water ([08:11]).
  • Runs a hose from a fire hydrant to his pool (“That's a felony! So I called up my Ted Lasso husband, and I was like, this is illegal, right?" [08:41]).
• Christmas drama peaks:
  • Steve’s girlfriends come and go; one tries to break in, prompting concern.
  • The toddler “G unit” becomes obsessed with inflatables as a SWAT standoff unfolds in the neighborhood ([12:00–14:13]).
• The SWAT team arrives after Steve causes a car crash and flees ([14:37]).
• Andrea’s reflection: “Every time I hear a motorcycle rev after 9pm a small part of my soul leaves my body.” ([15:00])
• Quote: “Steve was a vibe. And by that I mean chaotic energy with a side of felony.” – Ash ([05:32])

Hosts’ Reactions:

• Both riotously entertained but grateful not to be next-door anymore (“You were correct to move... Steve sounds like a hoot and a hoot until he injured a family of five.” – Elena [15:47])

---

3. Story 2: My So-Called Out of Body Experience

Submitted by Nicole
([16:29–34:49])

The Tale:

• Nicole details a New Year’s Eve in 2001 where a shroom trip with friends turns unexpectedly terrifying.
  • Begins typically: “We decided we would take some magic mushrooms and watch some sort of WWE special” ([23:08]).
  • The high goes wrong after a sisterly spat—Nicole blacks out, entering “complete darkness” ([27:13]).
  • Out-of-body experience: Nicole floats above, watching her body from the ceiling, noting her “loud horizontally striped shirt” ([28:13–29:43]).
  • Returns to her body with “a slightly jarring slam”; spends the rest of the night vomiting.
• Her father later suggests: “What if you were checking out but then turned around and came back?” ([32:06])
• Nicole questions whether she almost died.
• Quote: “I can see myself as if it’s from someone else’s perspective... I’m looking down at the loud horizontally striped shirt I wore for the magic mushroom trip.” – Nicole (read by Elena) ([28:13])

Hosts’ Reactions:

• Ash and Elena share personal stories and joke about “never doing shroomies.”
• Both muse on near-death and out-of-body experiences.
• Ash: “That one was scary. I think you might have almost died.” ([34:18])

---

4. Story 3: Anya the Ghost – A Christmas Tale

Submitted by Kelsey
([34:50–47:55])

The Tale:

• Kelsey, once a skeptic, shares the story that “made me change my mind” about ghosts.
  • While backpacking in Colorado with husband Josh and dog Sunshine, they encounter a mysterious barefoot woman, Anya: “She’s not wearing shoes, has no pack, no water bottle, no jacket, nothing...” ([37:20])
  • Anya abruptly asks Kelsey: “Are you not Caitlyn?” ([37:48])
  • Returns later to request: “May I share the warmth of your fire for a moment?” ([38:48])
  • Anya’s eyes are “the blackest black,” and her cryptic answer is: “If I told you, it wouldn’t make any sense.” ([40:19, 40:32])
  • Anya leaves; there’s no trace of her or evidence she ever existed, despite the wild terrain.
• Quote: “If I told you, it wouldn’t make any sense.” – Anya ([40:32])

Hosts’ Reactions:

• Both are amazed and unsettled, bantering about black-eyed children and whether Anya was a ghost or an alien.
• Elena: “I think maybe she was an alien.” ([48:27])

---

5. Story 4: The Time a Crazy, Possibly Abusive Found My Holiday Light Warm and Inviting

Submitted by Peyton
([48:49–59:01])

The Tale:

• Peyton describes a tense encounter: a bloodied, shirtless stranger appears at the door one night, asking to wait “because the Christmas lights looked warm and inviting” ([54:16]).
• Her husband “C,” a Green Beret, keeps his cool, ensures her safety, and interacts with the man until police arrive.
• The stranger had been in a fight at home, broke his own nose, and tried to blame his wife ([57:44]).
• Peyton upgrades their home security after the ordeal.
• Quote: “So there is the story of how my holiday lights invited a crazy asshole over at 9pm on a weeknight.” – Peyton ([58:37])

Hosts’ Reactions:

• Find the tale both terrifying and darkly comic.
• Elena: “I'd be so mad because it's like, you sit down, you want to watch the new episode of Stranger Things. And then this is happening outside...” ([55:41])
• Both appreciate the resilience and humor in Peyton’s recounting and coo over her adorable dog, Nola ([59:13]).

---

Notable Quotes & Moments

• “Steve was a vibe. And by that I mean chaotic energy with a side of felony.” – Ash ([05:32])
• “If I told you, it wouldn’t make any sense.” – Anya ([40:32])
• “That was too good. Steve is wild.” – Elena ([15:39])
• “I can see myself as if it’s from someone else’s perspective... I’m looking down at the loud horizontally striped shirt I wore for the magic mushroom trip.” – Nicole ([28:13])
• “So there is the story of how my holiday lights invited a crazy asshole over at 9pm on a weeknight.” – Peyton ([58:37])

---

Fun Banter & Holiday Cheer

• Jokes about Krampus energy and being “ancient.”
• Playful asides on slang—“I think he likes my drip” ([03:37]).
• Ash and Elena routinely riff on audience emails, personal anecdotes, and each other's quirks, maintaining a mix of dark humor and celebration of listener community.

---

Important Timestamps

• [03:06] – Start of Andrea’s Listener Tale about Steve
• [16:29] – Nicole’s Out-of-Body Experience begins
• [34:50] – Kelsey’s Anya the Ghost tale starts
• [48:49] – Peyton’s Holiday Lights Stranger story

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Episode Tone

Lighthearted, candid, and mischievous, with a balance of spooky and comic moments. The hosts’ chemistry and the listeners’ wild stories make this a prime holiday episode—equal parts nightmare and festive cheer.

---

Conclusion

A classic Morbid Listener Tales episode: chaotic, spooky, full of holiday strangeness and the loving, hilarious banter fans adore. The stories serve up true crime, the supernatural, and “Florida Man”–level chaos—all with a Christmas (and Krampus) twist.

Ending Note:
“We hope you keep listening—and we hope you keep it weird, but not so weird that you don’t have the happiest holiday season.” – Ash ([61:01])

Transcript

[Ash]

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[Ash]

Hey weirdos.

[Elena]

I'm Krampus one and I'm Krampus actually number one.

[Ash]

Wow. I was like two and this is Mul.

[Elena]

This is Morbid Listener Tales Holiday Edition. What Krampus kind of one said?

[Ash]

What does she think this is?

[Elena]

I'm in my Krampus vibe.

[Ash]

I'm in my being a dick.

[Elena]

Careful. That's what Krampus does. Okay, you do have the acrylics.

[Ash]

I know I have toe acrylics and hand acrylics. I was very that these be in the shot.

[Elena]

Yeah, yeah. Feet picks.

[Ash]

Feet pics. Free feet pics. Well, anyways, this is brought to you by you, for you, from you and all about you. And it's holiday themed.

[Elena]

Obviously it's merry as it's so bright. Let's get into it.

[Ash]

Let's get into it. You want to go first or you want me to?

[Elena]

Why don't you go first? Okay, I'll let you be Krampus. One for this.

[Ash]

Thanks. This is called Listening Tale. Our neighbor was a dollar tree, Florida man, but make it Alabama. I'm so glad I got to read this.

[Elena]

I'll always make.

[Ash]

Oh my God. At first I thought he said sexy, but he actually said succeed.

[Elena]

Oh, he said succeed?

[Ash]

Yeah. I don't know why I like that. Is he telling me to succeed? Because he likes you better. He called you a drip. Well, drip nowadays is pretty cool. Like I got drip.

[Elena]

I don't know if Nicholas is up on the. On the slang.

[Ash]

Are you doubting your man?

[Elena]

No, I just know he's an elder.

[Ash]

I don't know. I think he likes my drip.

[Elena]

Anyway, he said a drip.

[Ash]

I've never even heard somebody be called a drip.

[Elena]

Really? Oh. Oh, damn. Well, I'm old. I'm old.

[Ash]

I mean, today we're both ancient.

[Elena]

It's true.

[Ash]

So my name is Andrea. And yes, you can use my name. I changed all other other names in the tale for you. I'm a long time creeper. First time emailer here. I had to send in this true crime slash weird ass encounter that unfolded over several years ago while my family lived in Mobile, Alabama.

[Elena]

Mobile, Alabama.

[Ash]

Mobile, Alabama. Just basically you have a baby in a bar. It involves a sketchy neighbor, a literal water heist, a surprise home intruder, and a toddler conducting inflatable inspections during a SWAT standoff.

[Elena]

That's so much.

[Ash]

That's a wild ass sentence.

[Elena]

This is a tale.

[Ash]

Well, buckle up and hold on to your butts. So let's hold them. So let's rewind around 2019-2022. My husband and I moved to Mobile, Alabama.

[Elena]

Alabama. Mobile, Alabama.

[Ash]

Mobile, Alabama. From Wichita, Kansas.

[Elena]

Oh, is it Mobile?

[Ash]

Mobile.

[Elena]

Mobile. Oh, Deb. Deb just helped us out here because.

[Ash]

Holy people, we've already.

[Elena]

Mobile.

[Ash]

We've already gotten 18.

[Elena]

Mobile, Alabama.

[Ash]

Mobile.

[Elena]

Mobile.

[Ash]

So we moved from Mobile to. It from. We moved to Mobile from Wichita.

[Elena]

That's what we did.

[Ash]

My face is itchy.

[Elena]

Okay.

[Ash]

I was already in a culture shock. It's gonna be hard to get out of that mobile. Because of the mobile.

[Elena]

Yeah.

[Ash]

And I was soon to be in a neighbor shock as well. Oh, we bought our first house in a beautiful neighborhood. One lots and custom home builds. Gorgeous stone.

[Elena]

I'm sure there was stone.

[Ash]

Yeah, definitely stone.

[Elena]

He said stone walls even.

[Ash]

He said, watch out for the radon.

[Elena]

Call a mason.

[Ash]

I felt so grown up. And I was living in my dream house. We lived next door to a man we'll lovingly call Steve.

[Elena]

Steve.

[Ash]

Steve was a vibe. And by that I mean chaotic energy with a side of felony.

[Elena]

Oh, that is a vibe.

[Ash]

It's some kind of vibe. He had people coming and going from his house at all hours of the day and night. And he always seemed to be working on his fen tents, but only after dark. Oh, and he liked to randomly rev up his motorcycle in the middle of the night. Not to go anywhere, just to make noise.

[Elena]

That would annoy me.

[Ash]

That would annoy the out of me. It was giving ritual sacrifice to the gas gods. At this time, we had an infant, and I dared Steve to wake that baby up. This mama was running on caffeine and rage.

[Elena]

Yep.

[Ash]

And I wasn't scared of prison. There were whispers that he'd been in and out of jail. But things got truly unhinged around Covid. That's when they got real unhinged for everybody.

[Elena]

For everybody.

[Ash]

I was so excited to get another disgusting. And then it was so short lived by. Why can't I come? That could be seen in so many lights. How does one recover from a question like that?

[Elena]

Oh, my God. Wow. I'm literally crying tears my mouth. I didn't know how to respond to that.

[Ash]

We all rejected the same.

[Elena]

It was just happening. Disgusting.

[Ash]

Why can't I come? I was like, I don't know. Steve. It's not Steve. It's Nicholas.

[Elena]

Steve.

[Ash]

Nicholas. I'm so stressed. I'm thinking about Steve. All right, let's get back to Steve.

[Elena]

Nicholas. I'm sorry.

[Ash]

So there were whispers that he had been in and out of jail, but things got truly unhinged around Covid. Like most people, I started going on daily sanity walks. And that's when I noticed Steve's trash was never getting picked up. Turns out our boy was stuffing his garbage into other people's cans. Like a raccoon with poor impulse control. There was trash everywhere. On the sidewalk, in his yard. Overflowing was an understatement. It got worse. The lights stopped turning on in his house. But someone was clearly still living there. One day, the gas and water companies Came and padlocked his utilities off. Like, physically chained them shut.

[Elena]

Damn.

[Ash]

Jeremy, my real life Ted Lasso husband.

[Elena]

I don't know what that means.

[Ash]

Do you watch Ted Lasso?

[Elena]

I didn't watch Ted Lasso.

[Ash]

Debbie.

[Elena]

Yes?

[Ash]

What does that mean?

[Elena]

Like a sweet, lovely man.

[Ash]

A sweet, lovely man, says Deb. So Jeremy and you were nosy as hell, so we kept tabs through our new security cameras. So one night, we watched Steve lift the water main lid and cut off the padlock to work to turn his water back on.

[Elena]

I mean, he.

[Ash]

He's strong.

[Elena]

He's. He's. He's a DIYer, I suppose.

[Ash]

Yeah, he's.

[Elena]

He's going for it.

[Ash]

That's crazy.

[Elena]

So there's that. He said, it's fine. I'll do it myself, I guess. Fine?

[Ash]

Yeah. Just casually committing felonies like he was brushing his teeth. He ended up rigging a rain barrel on the side of his house to run into his kitchen. It was an eyesore, but do what you have to do, I guess.

[Elena]

Industrious.

[Ash]

And then the piece de resistance. I was really going for that.

[Elena]

I like that.

[Ash]

I left for a gym run and saw a hose running from the fire hydrant to wait for it. His pool, sir, that's not a legal plumbing choice. That's a felony. So I called up my Ted Lasso husband, and I was like, this is illegal, right?

[Elena]

This can't be good, right? No.

[Ash]

He reported it to the fire department and the police, and spoiler alert, it was very illegal.

[Elena]

Yeah.

[Ash]

Now, listen. Steve's dating life was its own soap opera. Women came and women went like doordash deliveries. Live your truth, bro.

[Elena]

Yeah.

[Ash]

Things got wild right before Christmas, 2020. Things always get wild around Christmas.

[Elena]

They do.

[Ash]

We had just put our toddler. We'll call him G. To bed, and we're decom. G. G unit. That's your baby.

[Elena]

That's your baby.

[Ash]

That's your baby. G unit was in bed, and you guys were decompressing on the couch when suddenly. Bang, bang, bang. Oh, more. More like bang, bang, bang.

[Elena]

Oh, she. She went, like, straight to the felonious.

[Ash]

Well, we're talking about a felon. You were.

[Elena]

You were like, bang, bang, bang.

[Ash]

Someone started y our front door. Jeremy flipped to the security cam, and there was Steve and his newest girlfriend, who's trying to come into our house. No shoes, in shorts in winter. She's yelling, and he's trying to drag her home. Jeremy opens the door. Steve runs away, and she says, can I come in? And you all should have Said, say it with me now. No, but I'm not judging. Jeremy, saint protector, golden retriever, energy. Told her no, good job, but offered to help. He grabbed his phone and an old hoodie for her. But when he came back outside, she was gone. She had vanished. Turns out she wandered around the side of the house in total darkness. Like, why?

[Elena]

I'm scared. I don't know why. My immediate thought, when you said she wandered around the house in total, I thought you said, and totaled our car.

[Ash]

I thought that's what you were going to say.

[Elena]

I don't know why. And she.

[Ash]

She walked around and she just totaled our car. Why would she do that? I mean, why would she do anything, really?

[Elena]

I don't know. I have, like, a slight migraine approaching, so I think I'm in, like, weird migraine land right now.

[Ash]

I was sitting, like, to the side too long, and it started to hurt.

[Elena]

It happened. Pilates. Thank God. Thank you. Thank goodness. Thank gosh. Thank crampus.

[Ash]

Thank cramp.

[Elena]

Cramp.

[Ash]

So she wandered to the side of the house to totally recall. Jeremy called the police, who arrived and asked her why she tried to come in. Her answer, you have a baby. I knew you'd be nice and be home. That's very Strangers coded.

[Elena]

I was just going to say, I knew you would be nice and be home.

[Ash]

Lots of mean people have babies. Yeah, ask my mom.

[Elena]

And I'll be very nice to my baby and be very mean to you.

[Ash]

But I'm like, not everybody with a baby is a nice person. Like, hello. So, ma', am, you could have just asked like a normal human. You did not have to break down our door. No, she ended up staying with her parents that night and was back with Steve two days later because, of course. But wait, hold on to your butts. It's now Christmas 2021. One year later. Oh, that's math. Steve is still up to his nonsense. Arguing with girlfriends, being hunted by the repo man, building what can only be described as janky murder trailers in his driveway. People are still coming in and out of his house at all hours of the day and night. We all probably know what he was up to, right?

[Elena]

Yeah.

[Ash]

Yeah. He has a book club.

[Elena]

Yeah.

[Ash]

Our toddler, G, is now fully obsessed with inflatable yard decorations.

[Elena]

G unit.

[Ash]

G unit. So, of course, our front yard looks like the Alabama Griswolds.

[Elena]

That's phenomenal. I love that.

[Ash]

We've got, like, 100 inflatable Santa snowmen and elves. It's a whole situation.

[Elena]

Incredible.

[Ash]

One evening, G and I Are driving home blasting Christmas music and notice two cop cars behind me. I'm going the speed limit. I use my blinker. I'm wearing my seatbelt, but I'm sweating bullets anyway.

[Elena]

Of course, we've all been there. I. I am almost 40 years old, and every time I go to inside a liquor stor store, I'm like, do I have my. Like, I'm.

[Ash]

I don't know if I should be here.

[Elena]

What if they feel like I'm gonna get in trouble? Like it's. What?

[Ash]

No. I hate that. Whenever anybody asks me to go, I'm like, no. Yeah, I feel bad.

[Elena]

I do. I feel bad, bad.

[Ash]

I feel disgusting. So they drive past me. When I pull over, phew. We get home and surprise. Those same two cruisers are now parked in front of Steve's house. Ah. I go inside and I fill in Jeremy. We pull up the cameras and see two more police cars arrive. That's four total, all at Steve's. They're knocking on his door. Circling the house, g asks if we can go outside to look at his flatables.

[Elena]

His flatables?

[Ash]

Absolutely, buddy. Let's go look at those flatables.

[Elena]

And we'll vacuum the lawn while we're outside.

[Ash]

While we're out there. One officer even walks over to us and asks if Steve is home. I'd be like, I don't know.

[Elena]

I don't know Steve.

[Ash]

I don't know Steve's life. Jeremy, who's still working from home, tells him, yeah, his truck is just hidden behind the fence to dodge the repo guy, because of course it is. So Steve had been home for at least 15 to 20 minutes. The officer thanked us and then radios for backup. Two minutes later, sirens. We watched them fly down the road to behind our house. When they stop, we realize there are now two cop cars at the front of the neighborhood, Two more blocking the end of our street, and at least 10 in our cul de sac.

[Elena]

Huh?

[Ash]

10. 10 for Steve.

[Elena]

Oh.

[Ash]

At this point, officers started pulling on tactical vests. Like full on swat gear.

[Elena]

Uh oh.

[Ash]

Jeremy and I decided it was now time to get the tiny boy in the house. G unit is understandably upset that he had to pause his nightly inflatable inspection. Inflatable? But we distracted him with macaroni and cheese, as one does during a neighborhood swat standoff.

[Elena]

That's all you really can do.

[Ash]

We're in the middle of dinner and are glued to the camera channel on the TV. After a 15 minute tense standoff and us Loki watching the entire thing like A true crime reality show. The police arrested Steve. Turns out earlier that week he had been towing a friend's car with rope. The rope snapped, the car veered into oncoming traffic and a family of five was seriously injured.

[Elena]

Oh, my God.

[Ash]

And of course, our boy Steve fled the scene.

[Elena]

Steve, you gotta get it the together.

[Ash]

You can't just enter a family of five like that and steal from the fire hydrants.

[Elena]

You can't.

[Ash]

Let's see. Fellownonius.

[Elena]

Fellow Nonius. Yes.

[Ash]

Yeah, I knew you were gonna let that go either.

[Elena]

Can't let that one. You're so Krampus. I can't do it. I'm Kramp. But I'm also a Capricorn. I can't let that go.

[Ash]

Fellownius.

[Elena]

Yeah, no.

[Ash]

That goes crazy. So that's why the SWAT team came. Not because of the fire hydrant, not because of the trash crimes. Not even the illegal pool water. Because he literally caused a crash and then ran. We moved not long after. I think about Steve every Christmas when I see inflatable Santas. And every time I hear a motorcycle rev after 9pm a small part of my soul leaves my body. Thanks for reading this truly unhinged tale. Stay weird, but not cutting your water padlock and filling your pool with fire hydrant before getting arrested by Spot on Christmas. Weird. Love, y'.

[Elena]

All.

[Ash]

Like Steve loves breaking every single law. From Andrea.

[Elena]

I'm going to use that now. I love you like Steve.

[Ash]

Steve loves breaking law.

[Elena]

Single law.

[Ash]

That was too good. Steve is wild.

[Elena]

Nicholas is right.

[Ash]

Andrea. I hope you were right, neighbor. Now.

[Elena]

Yeah. You were correct to move like Nicholas said. Yeah, but Steve sounds like a hoot and a hoot until he injured a family of five.

[Ash]

Yeah, it sounded like he was just very like handy. What? Cursed? He was cursed. It does sound like he was cursed. He was very cursed. He had a cursed energy.

[Elena]

Nicholas is literally on point here. I just want to point that out.

[Ash]

He really is.

[Elena]

He's really. He's here.

[Ash]

He's doing the damn thing.

[Elena]

He's like. He's really. We were struggling. We were like, he's really.

[Ash]

And he says cursed.

[Elena]

She said, is that the word you're looking for? Sounds like he's cursed.

[Ash]

And it was.

[Elena]

It was all right. I liked that. Andrea. Love you long time.

[Ash]

I want to move, Andrea. That would have worked so well. Last Listener Tales.

[Elena]

It would have. This next one is Listener Tales. My so called out of body experience. Hello, ladies. My name is Nicole and I am no longer a new listener. I almost said Lou Nissan a loo Nissan ER as I started following your podcast. February 2023 and it is now September 2024.

[Ash]

Actually, Nicole, now it's December 2025. So you're the oldest listener.

[Elena]

So old. So old. I've been sitting on this.

[Ash]

Mikey's like, Mikey says you're not.

[Elena]

He's like, that's not how time works. I've been sitting on this email for a while now. I love the show. I can't imagine how much time and effort goes into researching the stories. Thank you so much. Thank you for doing all the hard work so I do not have to. Although I feel like I have a pretty solid working knowledge of most things. Morbid. You provide so much content and context. I'm ashamed to admit I was at first put off by the sideline banter. And laughter of the show. However, I quickly realized that all those giggles are the perfect palette cleanser since the subject matter can be so harrowing.

[Ash]

We're glad you came to the right side, Nicole.

[Elena]

A million apologies for not immediately recognizing the artistry. Okay. I love you.

[Ash]

Half a million.

[Elena]

Accepted. I forgive you. I shall never doubt either of you again. And I will never doubt you, Nicole. Okay, we're friends now.

[Ash]

I won't either.

[Elena]

We're friends now. It's over.

[Ash]

Nicholas actually wants to know why you're.

[Elena]

Here, so Nicholas isn't as quick to forgive. We'll work on him. Okay.

[Ash]

Chime is changing the way that people bank. Forget overdraft fees, minimum balance fees, and monthly fees. I don't like fees and Chime doesn't care about fees. It's the new way to build a credit history with your own money and get rewarded every single day. If I had known about Chime or if it had existed when I was like 1920, I would have lived such a better life. Because forgetting overdraft fees is just simply.

[Elena]

The way to live.

[Ash]

Overdraft fees were bogging down my life. I would have lived a different life if I had Chime back in the day. Chime is not just smarter banking. It is the most rewarding way to bank. Join the millions who are already banking fee free today. It just takes a few minutes to sign up. Head to chime.commorbid that's chime.commorbid Chime is a financial technology company, not a bank. Banking services. The secured Chime Visa credit card and my pay line of credit provided by the Bank Corp. NA or Stride Bank N A MyPay elig requirements apply and credit limit ranges $20 to $500. Optional services and products may have fees or charges. See chime.com feesinfo advertised annual percentage yield with Chime+ status only. Otherwise, 1.00% APY applies. No minimum balance required. Chime Card on time payment history may have a positive impact on your credit score. Results may vary. See chime.com for details and applicable terms. Life doesn't happen bi weekly, so why should Payday? The money that you earned should be in your hands. And with Earn in, it can be Earn it is an app that lets you access your pay as you earn it up to $300 a day with a max of a thousand dollars between paydays. Just download the Earn an app and start accessing your pay as you work. Any money that you access, plus optional tips to help keep the app running, are automatically repaid from your next paycheck. I am obsessed with the idea of earning your money as you work. I feel like it makes work more tolerable. I mean, I love my job, but not everybody does. And like back in the day I didn't love my job. So if I earned my money as I was working I'd be like, oh, this is all worth it anyways. Download Earn in today spelled E A R, N I N in the Google Play or Apple App Store. When you download the Earn an app, type in morbid under podcast. Earn in is a financial technology company, not a bank. Access limits are based on your earnings and risk factors. Standard cash outs take one to two business days with no mandatory fees. Expedited transfers available for a fee. Tips are voluntary and don't affect the service. Available in select states. Terms and restrictions apply. Visit Earnin.com for full details. Download Earn in today and take control of your pay. One in five Americans have learn a new language on their bucket list. If that's you, make 2025, the year that you finally check it off with Babel, the language app that makes grammar fun and actually worth your time. Babel lets you practice real life conversation step by step without the stress. You'll build up the confidence to speak up when it matter. From ordering a cup of coffee to chatting with new friends abroad. One thing about me, you probably know it if you listen to this show. I have always wanted to learn French and then my sister over there sitting across from me, she decided she was going to learn French and then my niece was going to learn French. So I said I better download Babel because they're not going to have French conversations without me. Here is a special limited time deal for our listeners right now. Get up to 55 off your Babel subscription at babel.com forward/morbid. Get up to 55 off at babbel.com forward slash morbid. Spelled B-A-B-B-E-L.com forward slash morbid. Rules and restrictions may apply.

[Elena]

But one more thing before getting into my tale. The chemistry you two have is off the charts.

[Ash]

She's all right.

[Elena]

Wow. How well you know and love each other really shines through. You can tell Ash is Elena's biggest cheerleader. Elena is Ash's biggest cheerleader. It's true. It's refreshing to hear two women who are so encouraging and proud of each other.

[Ash]

I almost hit you right in the face. Hold on. It's the wrong one. You need a better one. Hold on.

[Elena]

Wait, wait. There it is. There it is. Okay, that first one was Woo. Okay, enough of the ass kissing. That wasn't ass kissing. That was great.

[Ash]

That was just kind.

[Elena]

I came here to tell a story, so here we go. Tell it. My tale begins in the long ago year of 20 oh. 2001. Damn. 2001. Isn't that 10 years ago?

[Ash]

What?

[Elena]

I was 19 years old and it was New Year's Eve. My boyfriend Alec, my sister Diana and her boyfriend Pete, along with our friend Tina, decided to be responsible teenagers by staying at our dad's house instead of running all over town drinking and smoking weed like the rest of our friends.

[Ash]

Good job.

[Elena]

However, it was New Year's Eve and we decided we would take some magic mushrooms and watch some sort of WWE special while ringing in the new year.

[Ash]

That's pretty iconic.

[Elena]

Yes. Hallucinogens mixed with wrestling. Don't tell me we didn't know how to get down back in those early aughts. I'd love to be able to tell you that the girls and I were wearing velour tracksuits and trucker hats to really help paint the picture. Alas, I cannot.

[Ash]

Aw, man.

[Elena]

I remember distinctly I was wearing a pair of jeans, low cut flares, of course, and a loud horizontally striped shirt. You may think, who cares what this chick was wearing? But trust me when I say it'll. I'll bring it back before the end of the story.

[Ash]

It was the stripes, wasn't it?

[Elena]

It was. I had taken mushrooms twice before. Each time was fun, but I may have had some sort of allergic reaction the second time because the morning after I had a rash all over my chest and upper arms. Oh, shit. The rash wasn't raised up, but my skin blanched when I pressed on it. So honestly, I didn't think much of it. I just wore a long sleeve shirt and the next day the rash was gone. At the time, I didn't correlate the rash to the shrooms. Later, I would wish I had. Oh, no. A few months after the second dalliance with the magic fungi, my dad tells my sister and me he's going out of town for New Year's Eve or for New Year's, but that we can stay at his place and party or whatever. He doesn't want to worry about us being on the roads going from party to party. It was actually pretty nice. It was a nice offer. My dad had a large screen TV in his basement and plenty of places for us all to crash, so we took him up on it. I'm not sure if we told him ahead of time what substances we were planning to indulge in, but I don't think it would have mattered as my dad was a partier himself. We were all just happy to have a safe place to trip out at. Finally, the big night is here and all five of us eat peanut butter sandwiches topped with a few mushroom caps. And off we go.

[Ash]

I feel like that's a frequent thing for people that do shrooms. They put them on peanut butter sandwiches, I think, because shrew. I've never done them, but I think they taste really bad. Remember that show Love?

[Elena]

Oh, yeah. Yeah.

[Ash]

That's how they do shrooms on there.

[Elena]

Oh, okay. Everything starts off fine. About a half hour after eating our shroom sandwiches, I feel slightly. A slightly light body buzz. And the colors of the room seem to be different than I remember. The TV also looks like it's getting further away from me. I would die. I want to be clear about that. I would die on shrooms. Just that.

[Ash]

Yeah. I've never done shrooms, but I did once.

[Elena]

How do you.

[Ash]

Can you say on YouTube?

[Elena]

I have no idea. Nicholas can't stand that.

[Ash]

What did he say? Wow. Okay, Nicholas. One time I gardened and I think my gardening substance was laced because I found myself inside of a VCR box.

[Elena]

For real.

[Ash]

So while I haven't done shrooms, maybe I have a box.

[Elena]

What does that mean?

[Ash]

Not a VCR box. You remember those old Comcast like. Like it was the.

[Elena]

It came with your table.

[Ash]

Cable box.

[Elena]

Yeah.

[Ash]

And it had the orange writing. Oh, yeah. I was inside of it, looking up out in my head. Really? I was sitting on a couch.

[Elena]

Yeah, you weren't actually in the cable.

[Ash]

I also fell down the stairs at a house. The house that I Was at before that and they shut the lights off and I thought that I was blind. So like I can relate to this.

[Elena]

Yeah.

[Ash]

Even though I didn't do shroomies.

[Elena]

Yeah. Yeah. I mean, don't do substances. Yeah.

[Ash]

Don't garden unless it's the real gardening.

[Elena]

Like Nicholas just said.

[Ash]

Revolting.

[Elena]

Damn.

[Ash]

Yeah.

[Elena]

So the TV looks like it's getting further away from me. I would die. The whole as if the whole room is being extended out. Seems like the trip is starting. And I wait for some additional visuals to hit me before anything else psychedelic happens. There's some sort of sisterly drama which happened between Diana and me.

[Ash]

Not during shrooms.

[Elena]

I do not remember what caused it, but I remember thinking she got really attitudy with me for no reason and it really pissed me off. Oh no. Now, for anyone who has done hallucinogens, you know that something like this can totally play with your mind. And you can go from nice happy tricks trip to strange scary trip. Super quickly I start to internalize things and get in my own head. And that's when things go wrong. The room now seems to be shrinking in on me. I can literally feel it getting smaller. And there's blackness clouding my peripheral vision. It starts slowly but picks up speed. And then wham. Nothing but complete darkness surrounding me.

[Ash]

I didn't even read this before you went blind too.

[Elena]

I sense this darkness, but I can't see or hear anything at this point.

[Ash]

Point.

[Elena]

I'm not sure how long this lasted, but I don't think it was more than a minute or two. My senses slowly start to come back. At first I can hear my sister and Tina are crying. I can hear Alec. He's saying my name and asking if I can hear him. Then I can start to see. And I'm looking right at the drop ceiling of my dad's basement. My face is only inches from it. I know this is weird because I'm not tall and I should not be this close to any ceiling anywhere. So now I can hear and see, but I can't feel anything. In fact, I do not even feel like I have a body. I have this sensation of just like floating in the air. I reach my arm out, touch the ceiling tile, but I can't feel it. I try to turn away from the ceiling and it's difficult because I cannot feel my body. So I'm not really sure how to move. I liken this feeling to having dental work done. You know when your mouth is numb and you try to eat or put chapstick on but you can't really do it because you feel. You can't feel your lips. This was very similar.

[Ash]

I hate that feeling.

[Elena]

I hate that too. Somehow I got myself turned around and to my surprise, I can see everything. Everyone. They're all standing below me. The girls are holding each other and crying. Pete is standing nervously next to Diana and not sure what's going on but or what he can do to help her. Tina or me. The strangest thing of all is that I can see myself as if it's from someone else's perspective. I'm looking down at Alec. He's holding my me in his arms as if we were newlyweds and he is ushering me across the threshold of the bridal suite romance. I see myself with my head thrown back, legs dangling, and I'm confused. That can't be me, can it? But it is. And I know it is because I'm looking down at the loud horizontally striped shirt I wore for the magic mushroom trip. That shirt was ugly even for 2001. This is wild. And I realize I must be having an out of body experience. I can hear and see everything going on in the room, but not from my own eyes. In my own body, I'm seeing this all happen as I'm floating, hovering above everyone and everything in that room. This all happened pretty quickly. So not long after my realization, something even more strange happens. I can feel myself being sucked back to earth, back into my own body. Like the ceiling retreats from my view. I can feel the rush of air around me and I feel my spirit and my physical body becoming one again. It happens fast and I go from seeing everything from a bird's eye perspective to being transported back into my body with a slightly jarring slam.

[Ash]

Boom.

[Elena]

My eyes fly open. I can feel Alec holding me. Diana rushes to my side and yells her eyes are open and she's grabbing me and crying all over again. All over me. Hugging me.

[Ash]

I bet she regretted giving you attitude.

[Elena]

I bet she did. As I start to come to, I can tell my friends are relieved. They settle me on the couch and tell me their version of what happened. Diana knew she acted like a so she looked at me to make amends. But she said she could tell something was wrong right away. I didn't look good. My eyes weren't focused and I wasn't responding as she tried to talk to me. Then apparently my eyes rolled to the back of my head as I passed out and slumped over onto Alec.

[Ash]

Holy.

[Elena]

That's when they all started freaking out. Alex Slapped my cheeks, if a couple of times. And then when I didn't react, he lifted me off the couch. I think the next move was to get me upstairs to a car or to call an ambulance. But then I woke up. I mentioned earlier that I may have had an allergic reaction to mushrooms.

[Ash]

Oh, right.

[Elena]

I didn't get a rash this time. But for the next four to five hours, I was in the bathroom puking my guts out. I've never ever vomited that much in my life. I mean, all I could do was lie on the floor of the bathroom in my dad's basement and heave all night long every time I thought I was done. I wasn't. It just kept coming. But hey, at least I was on the ground, not getting sick from eight feet in the air.

[Ash]

That would have been so exorcist coded of you.

[Elena]

So maybe I do have an allergy to natural psychedelics. And after my ethereal body rejoined my physical one, that puke was my body's way of ridding itself of the allergens. I don't know. But I do. I never did shrooms again.

[Ash]

Good job.

[Elena]

I'm known in my circle of friends for being a bit of a bullshitter. I embellish and exaggerate to prove a point or tell a good story.

[Ash]

Iconic.

[Elena]

But the next morning, when I recounted this one to Alec, Diana, Pete and Tina, they 100% believed me. I don't know why. It's not like anything specific happened while I was unconscious that I could point to and prove I was there on some level. It all just happened so quickly. There honestly isn't all that much to tell. But I'm convinced of what happened. And I guess they knew me well enough to know it was. It wasn't a tall tale. Sometimes the truth just rings clear and people know when they hear it. Now here is the part which prompted me to write in to you guys last year. My dad was over and we were reminiscing about our younger years. Well, this story came up again. He'd probably already heard it at least twice before. Anyhow, after I'd wrapped it up, my dad looks at me and says, what if it wasn't an out of body experience? What if you were checked?

[Ash]

Sensible, sensible, sensible.

[Elena]

That is sensible. What if you were checking out but then turned around and came back?

[Ash]

That's kind of what I was thinking. Like, were you dying?

[Elena]

Yeah. I was stunned for a minute. My own dad was alluding to the fact that I may have been dying and then for whatever reason, didn't head towards the bright white light but instead plummeted back to earth.

[Ash]

You guys, crazy decision.

[Elena]

I had never thought about it like that before and I gotta tell you, it scared the living out of me. Of me. Those two sentences changed my whole perspective on that experience. I told that story 20 times over the over the years and always in a self depreciatingly jokey type fashion. Oh, look at me, the girl so allergic to magic mushrooms, I pass out and have an out of body experience. Now I can hardly stand the thought because it isn't even very fun to think that as my dad so lovingly put, I was checking out. Maybe it was both. I mean, I suppose it's possible that I could have had an out of body experience and then die.

[Ash]

Or most people have like body experiences before they die probably.

[Elena]

Or that you have an out of body experience on your way to dying and then come back to life. I'm no expert on the matter. It was a super strange experience and I wanted to share with you guys and the listeners. Thank you for the time. Love you both and the show. Two things before I go. One, I love when Ash says, oh absolutely. Anytime I hear anyone else say that, it reminds me of Morgan.

[Ash]

I love that.

[Elena]

Especially the Long Island Lolita show with Bailey Sarian. Ash said oh absolutely so many times at the end of that episode. Go back and check it out. She probably says it like eight times.

[Ash]

I was admittedly so starstruck the first time we honestly, the first and second time that we recorded with Bailey Sarian, I probably said some crazy shit.

[Elena]

She is one of the sweetest people.

[Ash]

One of the nicest people we've ever met.

[Elena]

Do you. And two, do you have any plans to cover the Asha degree case? Maybe you already have and I missed it. It's just totally mindboggling. I'm haunted by it. I think you guys would do a really great job covering it. Thanks Ash and Elena. Have a good one and hope you keep it weird, but not so weird you take illegal drugs in your dad's basement man cave and pass out and have an out of body experience and maybe almost die.

[Ash]

We won't take it that weird.

[Elena]

The Asha case. I don't think we've covered it.

[Ash]

I don't think we have.

[Elena]

But I do want to cover that case for sure.

[Ash]

Yeah, absolutely.

[Elena]

Oh, absolutely.

[Ash]

Absolutely. That one was scary. I think you might have almost died.

[Elena]

I think you did.

[Ash]

I wonder, are you allergic to just like actual mushrooms maybe? I don't know what's like in magic mushroom. It's just like chemicals, isn't it?

[Elena]

I have no idea. Well, it's natural.

[Ash]

Oh, it is?

[Elena]

Yeah. Aren't they natural?

[Ash]

I think it depends, like what ones you.

[Elena]

I don't know. No, I think mushrooms are like natural psychedelics.

[Ash]

Oh yeah. Yellow jackets.

[Elena]

Yeah. See?

[Ash]

Huh. Wow.

[Elena]

So. I don't know.

[Ash]

Damn. Maybe you're allergic to mushrooms and psychedelics.

[Elena]

Maybe.

[Ash]

I don't know.

[Elena]

Who knows.

[Ash]

Next one is listener story. Anya the Ghost. A Christmas Tale.

[Elena]

I love. Anya should be a Krampus tale. Krampus.

[Ash]

Hey, Ash and Elena. Hey. I just.

[Elena]

Hey.

[Ash]

I just want to say how much I love your show. Thank you.

[Elena]

Oh my God.

[Ash]

The first podcast I ever listened to and I just can't get enough. My BFF and I are obsessed and get together when new episodes come out to listen and discuss. You guys have kept me going through tough days at work and in quarantine. Oh God. God, no. I'll keep the fangirling to a minimum because this is. Sorry, not sorry. Going to be a long one. So get comfy and hold on to your butts.

[Elena]

Hold them.

[Ash]

To preface, this story really has nothing to do with Christmas. But my neighbor has our small neighborhood over for a Christmas dinner every year. And for the last couple of years her sister, who is also addicted to Morbid now, has requested this story. So for the last couple of years we've gathered around the the Christmas tree and I tell the tale of Anya, the good ghost. First, I'd like to make that it clear that I'm pretty skeptical when it comes to ghosts and paranormal stuff. This is the incident that made me change my mind. And now I'm very much of the opinion that the dead can leave an imprint on this world. Here it goes.

[Elena]

Let's go.

[Ash]

After nine years of around being in and out of school, I finally graduated college with my four year degree.

[Elena]

Hello.

[Ash]

I'm actually using it now. Congratulations. To celebrate, my then boyfriend, now husband and I decided to do a six week backpacking trip on the Colorado Trail. It's a 485 mile trail from Denver to Durango. I know fresh air is for dead people, but we were. But we really like the outdoors and sun and exercise works better for me than Prozac. Anyway. After several weeks on the trail, we were about four or five days out from reaching our destination of Durango, Colorado. After a long day's hiking, we found a nice campsite by a creek just off the trail and settled in for the evening. We had just finished up dinner and Josh, my husband and dog Sunshine. RIP Sunny girl.

[Elena]

Sunshine.

[Ash]

We were in the tent chilling for a second while sitting by the fire. Keep in mind that Sunshine was the kind of dog that would bark at people for approaching her house, quote unquote. In this case the tent. It was about 8:30 in the evening in July, so the days were long. But the sun was starting to set and it was the sort of gray dusk hour. So we were all minding our own business, enjoying the solitude and distinct lack of people. Suddenly and quietly, a woman comes around the corner past our campsite. Not super weird until I see she's not wearing shoes, has no pack, no water bottle, no jacket, nothing except the clothes on her back. Just a black cotton T shirt and black cotton Caprice. It's a cute outfit.

[Elena]

It is.

[Ash]

I think this is super weird, but hey, it's Colorado and there's plenty of people that go in the woods and get weird and talk to trees and shit like that. People I don't judge. No. So I think, huh, weird. But whatever. She's probably just tripping her face off and is camping down the trail a.

[Elena]

Little way more mushrooms, Shroomies.

[Ash]

As she's walking past the campsite, she stops abruptly and looks at me and says, are you not Caitlyn? I say no, but internally I also.

[Elena]

Love like are you not Caitlyn?

[Ash]

It's like imagine if you were Caitlyn.

[Elena]

I'm not a lot of things weird that you chose Caitlyn.

[Ash]

I'm not that. I'm not this.

[Elena]

Yeah.

[Ash]

I say no, but internally I'm super weirded out because that's my sister in law's name.

[Elena]

Oh.

[Ash]

She says never mind and then continues down the trail. I'm just left thinking, huh, okay, that was weird. And maybe the name thing was just a coincidence. At this point, Josh comes out of the tent and asks who I was talking to. I explained what happened and he said weird. I wonder why Sunshine didn't bark. We chalk it up to just some weirdness and we're having a night by the fire, having a nightcap by the fire. In case you don't know, they make juice box size wine and it's delicious and great for backpacking.

[Elena]

I didn't know that.

[Ash]

I didn't know that either. So we're hanging by the fire, drinking our juice box wine, when who comes back, Walking back around the corner, the barefoot woman. That was Anya. I bet. I bet she comes around the corner and says, may I share the warmth of your fire for a moment? I hate that. I'd say you can make the warmth of your own fire, babe.

[Elena]

It's the way she asks.

[Ash]

Yeah, it's a little free.

[Elena]

Freaky. I would have been like, no, no.

[Ash]

This is my warmth.

[Elena]

Nope, I got all the warmth.

[Ash]

This is my warmth.

[Elena]

Can't have any of it.

[Ash]

Josh and I look at each other and say, sure. So this random lady comes over to the fire and sits across from us and doesn't say a word and just stares into the fire.

[Elena]

No.

[Ash]

Nope.

[Elena]

No.

[Ash]

As soon as she sat down, we both got uneasy and had a bad feeling about it. Yeah, we noticed she's pretty clean for wandering around the woods with no shoes. She had no dirt on her feet or her hands, and her T shirt and her capris were both clean. This whole time, Sunshine is in the tent a few feet away, not making a peep, when normally she would have demanded to come out and meet this person. Josh and I were sort of just looking at one another like, what the is this barefoot doing at dusk with no form of supplies?

[Elena]

Who is this barefoot?

[Ash]

I like barefoot. Barefoot.

[Elena]

I like that.

[Ash]

So we were asking questions, and the following is my recollection of. Of possibly the strangest conversation I've ever been. I've ever been a part of. Nicholas says, neat me. So what's your name? Her. Anya. You're right, Josh. Where are you from, Anya? I lived in Rico for quite some time now. Me.

[Elena]

It is a struggle. It feels like a struggling conversation.

[Ash]

Conversating is struggling in general. Me. Where are you going? Anya looks up from the fire and directly at me. Her eyes were the blackest black I have ever seen. Like there was no definition between iris and pupil. It's like the Black Eyed Children.

[Elena]

Oh, no, the Black Eyed Onions, they're worse.

[Ash]

The Black Eyed Peas, even worse. Without Fergie.

[Elena]

Forget it.

[Ash]

She says. If I told you, it wouldn't make any sense.

[Elena]

Okay. I'm already annoyed that she wants to share the warmth of my fire.

[Ash]

And now she's lacking your intelligence.

[Elena]

You're like, you know what if I told you it would make sense. Don't assume. Yeah, don't assume I won't understand your otherworldly travels.

[Ash]

I'll get it on you.

[Elena]

Don't assume. Don't assume it makes the ass out of you and definitely not me.

[Ash]

Anya.

[Elena]

Anya. Guys, master class has really been helping me feel like I have it more together for the holidays. The holiday stress is less because I've been taking a lot of, like, cooking master classes. I feel like I can tackle these big feasts that I have to put on With Masterclass you can learn from the best to become your best. Learn how to tell a great story with Big Short and Moneyball author Michael Lewis. With plans starting at $10 a month, billed annually, you get unlimited access to over 200 classes taught by the world's best business leaders, writers, chefs and more. Turn your commute or workout into a classroom with audio mode. You can listen to Masterclass Less anytime, anywhere. We love that. Get thousands of bite sized lessons across 13 categories that can fit into even the busiest of schedules. I've been taking a Wolfgang Puck class on cooking and I can tell you right now my mise en place is on point. I feel like Thanksgiving is going to be so easy, breezy, beautiful. The stress is gone. I'm telling you it's really fun to take. I also took a class with Gordon Ramsay and I really feel like I can cook anything now. I don't know, maybe you should put me on Food Network. Masterclass always has great offers during the holidays, sometimes up to as much as 50% off. Head over to masterclass.commorbid for the current offer that's up to 50 off at masterclass.commorbid masterclass.commorbid your home should show off.

[Ash]

Who you are and Ashley has styles that balance timeless appeal and modern trends to bring your personal look home. I am obsessed with my house and it is like my cozy little oasis. So I want to be curled up on my beautiful couch that's cozy and chic just like an extension of my style. Who I am and then people know that when they walk in they say oh this is so ash. And Ashley offers well crafted affordable pieces for any style built to stand up to real life with great looks that are made to last. More than just eye catching design, get style with substance like stain resistance performance fabric options. They're incredibly durable and stain resistant with machine washable cushion covers. Honestly perfect for the holiday season and just life in general. Ashley.com is easy to shop with so many stylish options to choose from and the ordering process is smooth from start to finish. Plus Ashley provides fast, reliable white glove delivery to your door. Visit your local Ashley store or head to Ashley.com to find your style. This show is sponsored by Better Help. The holidays are coming up and that is a stressful time of year. You have to balance family expectations. Sometimes you're traveling, traveling is over, always stressful and especially now. Honey, you're just trying to make everything perfect and that's a lot of pressure. It can be super easy to forget to take Care of yourself in between all of that. But that's why Better Help is encouraging you to rewrite your traditions this season by making time for you. Incorporating therapy into your new or even your existing traditions can help you slow down and take care of yourself during what can be a joyful but sometimes hectic and lonely time of year. The holidays look really different for everybody. Maybe it's baking your aunt's sweet potato pie or starting something new, like a quiet night in with friends. Therapy can be one of those new traditions, too. Better Help gives you space to pause, reflect, and feel more grounded. They match you with a licensed therapist based on your goals, your preferences, and if it's not the right fit, don't worry, you can switch therapists at any time. With over 30, 000 therapists and more than 5 million people served, Better helps people close the year with clarity. Instead of Chaos House, this December, start a new tradition by taking care of you. Our listeners get 10 off at betterhelp.com morbid that's betterhelp H-E-L-P.com morbid. The hair on the back of my neck stood, was on end, and inside my head, all I could think was, what the? What the? What the? Who is this chick? Josh says, says, well, the sun's setting. And she turns to him and says, I'm deathly afraid of the dark. I'd be like, then what the are you doing wandering in the woods?

[Elena]

Anya, you gotta go, you gotta go.

[Ash]

Yeah, be careful.

[Elena]

Honestly, he's on a care level. He's like, anya, be careful.

[Ash]

He's so, like, on. Yeah, like, spot.

[Elena]

He's on it.

[Ash]

Josh and I look at each other like, what the? What the? I mean, we really had nothing to say, so we were just like. Then just as suddenly as she came, Anya stands up and says, thank you for sharing your fire. And then walks down the trail like you're welt Anya. Again. Josh and I look at each other like, what the? What the, what the? And then Anya was gone. Nicholas just goes, I'm haunted.

[Elena]

Honestly. They're haunted as well.

[Ash]

Yeah. That night, we didn't sleep. We just laid in the tent holding our knives, listening to every sound, hoping it wasn't holding our knives and listening to every sound, hoping it wasn't Anya.

[Elena]

Honestly.

[Ash]

The next morning, we're looking at our map to see where she could have come from or gone to. Where did you come from?

[Elena]

Where did you go? Where did you come from, Anya?

[Ash]

Black eyed Anya. Anya the ghost. Especially since she wasn't even wearing Shoes.

[Elena]

Yeah.

[Ash]

The town of Rico was 13 miles away by trail. And in the direction she left, the closest jeep road was like five miles. So to even get to a remote road, she would have had to walk five miles in the dark with no shoes. Shoes.

[Elena]

So this is deathly afraid of the dark.

[Ash]

Yeah, and barefoot, in case you forgot. So this chick walked a minimum of 18 miles with no shoes in the remote mountains of Colorado.

[Elena]

Yeah.

[Ash]

Even if she made it to the jeep road, it would have been another 11 miles down that road to a paved road. We thought maybe she had a campsite down the way.

[Elena]

Yeah.

[Ash]

But the next morning, we saw no signs of any other human. Not a footprint, not an ember in a fire ring. Not a single sign Anya had ever actually existed.

[Elena]

Existed?

[Ash]

It was like she just vanished. To this day, we believe she was a malicious spirit. Because we honestly. That is sad and bad.

[Elena]

Yeah.

[Ash]

Because we honestly have no other explanations. There was nowhere she could have gone. And to this day, her words echo in my head. If I told you, it wouldn't make any sense. Yeah, maybe she couldn't tell us because she was on drugs. But I personally.

[Elena]

Maybe.

[Ash]

My abs hurts.

[Elena]

What a valid. What a valid little like, left turn. Maybe she couldn't tell us because she was on drugs. I don't know.

[Ash]

But I personally believe she was trapped in this area between the realms of the living and the dead.

[Elena]

I think that is what happened.

[Ash]

Yeah, probably. So that's my story. Hope you weirdos enjoyed it. And hopefully me and my BFF will see you at your den Denver show as soon as Covid stops being a huge bummer. Love you, ladies. Keep it weird. But not so weird that you wander aimlessly into a super remote mountains with no shoes and freak out poor unsuspecting backpackers. Lots of weirdness. Kelsey.

[Elena]

Kelsey.

[Ash]

Kelsey. That was a crazy one. And you're funny.

[Elena]

And you will not see us at the Denver show. Yeah, it's gonna take a long time. In fact, it's still here from the future. I can tell you.

[Ash]

It's gonna be Elena, like, just had Covid.

[Elena]

It's gonna be a while. Yeah, we're just still up in here getting it. Yeah, it's never gonna go away, but I think a ghost.

[Ash]

I think so too, but I don't know if she was malicious. Maybe. Yeah, maybe she was just like. I don't know if you would get it because I'm from like Planet Zorg.

[Elena]

I think that's probably it.

[Ash]

And I think maybe she was an alien.

[Elena]

I would have been a little Put off by like you don't understand.

[Ash]

I feel like maybe she said like you you couldn't understand like.

[Elena]

But you're not even giving me a chance.

[Ash]

I know. You should ask follow up questions.

[Elena]

Yeah, you should. You should do. But that's okay.

[Ash]

I forgive you.

[Elena]

I forgive you as well.

[Ash]

Well.

[Elena]

So the next one is listener tale. The time a crazy, possibly abusive found my holiday light warm and inviting.

[Ash]

That's the last person you want to find your life.

[Elena]

Don't want that. Hey weirdos. I'd be ecstatic if you used my name. It's Peyton.

[Ash]

Oh, that's name. It's my favorite Celtic.

[Elena]

Peyton. Peyton. Peyton. Below I have included a 14 point double space puffer about the time a crazy, possibly abusive found our holiday lights were warm and inviting. Fighting. But before we start, I have to get my fangirling out by telling you guys that you're the coolest friends I've ever had. You're the coolest friend I've ever had. Even though you haven't known of my existence until now. I pretty much exclusively listen to you guys because something about the pitch of your voices mixed with the true crime stories and the totally relatable, slightly explicit banter is the only thing that can hold the focus of my anxiety ridden.

[Ash]

Add mind scenic people like the banter.

[Elena]

Hell yeah.

[Ash]

Yeah. Just kidding. Nicole, I love you.

[Elena]

We love you, Nicole. Also, Elena, you've survived more flights than you're aware of. Because I've never traveled without at least 20 episode this downloaded. So my indecisive ass has all of the options while cruising at 35,000ft. That actually really helps me. Thank you. Yeah. And Ash, I cannot wait to drool over you and Drew's wedding photos. I know whatever dress you choose is going to slay and I can't wait to see it.

[Ash]

Thank you.

[Elena]

You did slay.

[Ash]

You slayed.

[Elena]

Here is the obligatory forewarning that while my analytical brain has helped me complete two bachelor's degrees in the slate sciences, hell yeah. It hasn't left an ounce of room for creative writing. Unless it involves human anatomy or spores, mold and fungi. So bear with me.

[Ash]

I would call that pretty creative.

[Elena]

Yeah, I would say so. Lastly, this is a long one, but I promise it's worth it for a little background. My husband and I are currently currently live in the Pacific Northwest with our German shepherd, Nola. A tribute to New Orleans, Louisiana. Because that's where your girl is originally from. Elena, every time you talk about your love for New Orleans, I get all 14 year old girl in the 90s at a Hillary Duffy concert, excited. Because I can totally relate.

[Ash]

That's another reason you need to watch Interview with a Vampire.

[Elena]

That's true.

[Ash]

It's literally Nola.

[Elena]

That's right. Because I love that book. That's. It's a new. It's a new thing. In this room, everybody's watching an Interview with a vampire. So good. Now I gotta watch it because I loved the book.

[Ash]

Oh, so good.

[Elena]

My husband, we'll call him C for the privacy of his job, is a Green Beret in the army. Damn. Now, for those unfamiliar with military life, Green Berets can be compared to the Navy Sea seals of the army. Except on land. In other words, he's a total badass. But I may be a little biased and proud. You have a right to be proud.

[Ash]

And he gets to wear a fashion statement.

[Elena]

That's true. Let me take you back. I come and go. He said, you know what? Maybe I'll be back.

[Ash]

He was in a place of like the 80s karma chameleon.

[Elena]

There you go. I come.

[Ash]

Nicholas Cubs and go.

[Elena]

I like her. That was really quick.

[Ash]

And I liked it. Thank you.

[Elena]

It took me a second and then it really hit.

[Ash]

He was in a place of like raspberry beret over there instead of Green Beret.

[Elena]

He's a Prince fan. So we're gonna take you back in time to a weeknight, about five days before Christmas. And we were just lounging on our couch at 9pm, you know, watching murder documentaries to wind down so we can have a long, peaceful sleep, feeling totally safe and dreaming of sunny days in flower fields.

[Ash]

And to be like that up.

[Elena]

There's a knock at the door and we both look at each other like, what did you order that requires me to talk to someone in person at 9 o' clock at night? Because honestly, the best thing that came out of 2020 was contactless delivery.

[Ash]

Oh, my God.

[Elena]

Preach.

[Ash]

Honestly.

[Elena]

Nola starts alert barking as if she wouldn't immediately roll on her back for belly rubs for whoever is on the other side of the door.

[Ash]

That's like Dolores.

[Elena]

It's important to note that because C leaves for work for months at a time. And I'm a true crime lover. I have this house locked up like five Fort Knox. Sensors on every door and window, motion detectors inside and outside the house, curtains on all windows, and a panic button next to the bed. But we don't have outdoor cameras.

[Ash]

What?

[Elena]

So because the curtains are pulled, there's no way to see who's at the door. Unless we were Going to creepily peek through the curtains.

[Ash]

Gotta get you a ring camera.

[Elena]

Which would be the sensible thing to do. But I don't want the person that showed up to my house at night uninvited to think I'm rude. I wait for C to get up and see who's there there, because hello, it's 9pm so I definitely don't have a bra on.

[Ash]

Relatable.

[Elena]

And when he opens the door, I saw his face change to pure terror as he screamed the Geez. Not a full sentence, but hey, words are hard. On the other side of our front door is a middle aged male, shirtless, with one shoe on, covered in blood from head to belly button. The first words he said were, the cops are on their way. I swear I love my wife. Was your first shots thought, oh, he murders his wife. Yes, yes, ours too.

[Ash]

What?

[Elena]

The C now has his full body behind the door with his just with his eyes peeking out as the man continues. Help. Please help. The cops are on their way. I just need somewhere to wait. No, no, no.

[Ash]

You need to go somewhere else.

[Elena]

I run and lock myself in the bathroom because C has trained his whole life for this and has the situation under control. Right. I proceed to call the cops to ensure that they're on their way and listen to the remainder of the conversation through the door. The stranger proceeds to give us his full name and address. Apparently he lives just down the road. He says that he and his wife got in a fight and the cops are coming.

[Ash]

Like, why'd you choose our door?

[Elena]

Eek. He continues by saying that he does not want to run. He just wants to wait in our front yard before they arrive. Cee then asks the man, why our house? That is exactly your question. To which the stranger replies, the Christmas lights just looked warm and inviting. Are you.

[Ash]

I gotta turn my lights off.

[Elena]

At this point, C shoots me a look that says we'll never. We're never putting Christmas lights up again.

[Ash]

Oh, I would be so angry at this man.

[Elena]

I'd be like you.

[Ash]

Because that's. That would be Drew's exact response.

[Elena]

He assures the stranger that everything will be okay and tells the stranger that they will wait for the cops together. C steps outside with the stranger and locks the door behind him so that I'm safely secured inside the home. I married a literal saint.

[Ash]

You did.

[Elena]

The cops arrive shortly after and C tells them everything he knows as the man continues to sit on our fucking lawn. I said fucking. She didn't.

[Ash]

Yeah, get him off your lawn.

[Elena]

The police take over the Situation. And C comes back inside, where we sit for another hour watching through our window to fire trucks, ambulances, and three more police cars arrive.

[Ash]

I would be so pissed off if somebody created a stir in my neighborhood like this.

[Elena]

At my house, it's 9pm My husband.

[Ash]

To sit down and watch Not Home.

[Elena]

All the Time is home.

[Ash]

Yep.

[Elena]

We're about. I have no bra on. We're about to sit down and watch tv.

[Ash]

I'm with my dad.

[Elena]

I probably have a snack. Yeah.

[Ash]

Just made some tea.

[Elena]

I probably am under blankets.

[Ash]

Probably had, like, all my cats on me.

[Elena]

And this is out here interrupting me.

[Ash]

Yeah, yeah.

[Elena]

This has interrupted me. And now I have an entire cops episode happening on my phone friend long. And I can't not watch that. That's the thing. Oh, yeah.

[Ash]

That's the other thing. But then the next day, if you take a walk in your neighborhood, everybody's.

[Elena]

Gonna be like, what the. What happened at your house? That's the thing. And you're like, it wasn't even me. I didn't even do it. It wasn't even me.

[Ash]

Good story, though.

[Elena]

But I'd be so mad because it's like, you sit down, you want to watch the new episode of Stranger Things. And then this is happening outside on your front lawn. And you're like, well, I have to watch this.

[Ash]

Yeah.

[Elena]

And nothing's happening. Probably. It's just cop cars showing up and ambulances. But you're like, it's bright light lights. I gotta watch it. I'm a human that's kind of like.

[Ash]

I mean, at least it's some form of entertainment. Recently, me and Drew watched out Watch down. Hello. Sat down to watch a TV show, and somebody flushed our toilet upstairs. And the entire thing started raining through the kitchen ceiling. And we were like, well, I guess we're not watching Righteous Gemstones because we had to turn the electricity off, and there was nothing to watch. So I would prefer this man sitting on my lawn.

[Elena]

Yeah, that. That is different. Yeah, I will say that. I just know that usually when, like, shenanigans happen on your front lawn or, like, outside of your house and it's just cop cars showing up, in the end, you're like, why did I sit and watch that? Yeah, nothing really happened.

[Ash]

Nothing ever really happens, but you gotta watch in case it's the one time that something does happen.

[Elena]

That's true. That's very true. So we're watching as all those things arrive. Things begin to wrap up, and the ambulance takes the man away, and the other police officers begin to leave. We barely catch the last officer before he gets in his patrol car. Like, hey, is everything okay? Are we safe? Is the wife alive? To which he replies, everything is okay. Have a good night.

[Ash]

I'd be like, you're leaving my place? I'm gonna need a little more information.

[Elena]

And I'd also be like, do you want to talk to me?

[Ash]

Like, are we safe?

[Elena]

We good?

[Ash]

You got one of the bad ones.

[Elena]

To which he. So he said, yeah, it's fine, have a good night. I'd be like, go yourself. Yeah, exactly. And drives away. C and I are left in the doorway like, what the just happened? Are we safe to go to bed? Is this man gonna come back back tonight and go full psycho on our ass? Do we know too much? Is he a threat? We didn't get any sleep that night and not much in the days to follow. I wouldn't either.

[Ash]

I don't see to.

[Elena]

Thankfully our backyard neighbor is an officer in the jurisdiction and he was able to fill us in a few days later.

[Ash]

Yeah, have those connects.

[Elena]

It's convenient. The stranger had come home from work earlier that evening and his wife was on the phone with her father. The stranger didn't get along with his father in law, so he got drunk and started a fight with his wife as one does.

[Ash]

Like she can't talk to her dad.

[Elena]

As one does does. He became so frustrated that he banged his own face into a wall, breaking his nose and then called the cops himself and said that his wife hit him.

[Ash]

Oh you.

[Elena]

This proceeded to run down the street shirtless with one shoe in 25 degree Pacific Northwest weather and picked our house assuming that he looked like a victim and we would corroborate his story. But he was sorely disappointed when he knocked on the door of a Green Beret whose entire life is training to differentiate threats from from sincerity and could see that he was a lying piece of shit that was not a victim. Hell yeah. See? So there is the story of how my holiday lights invited a crazy asshole over at 9pm on a weeknight. Don't worry. I have since added five outdoor cameras. Yay. To complete my Fort Knox system. And I'm working on a plan on how to convince C to let me decorate again this year.

[Ash]

Oh, he better.

[Elena]

Thanks for listening and I hope you keep it weird. But not so weird that you get mad at your spouse for talking to the man that gave them life and become belligerently drunk, breaking your own nose on a wall and calling the cops to frame your spouse and run to your neighbor shirtless and shoeless in 25 degrees weather to have them corroborate your story but come off as a terrifying threat and keep them up an hour past their bedtime on a work night while you sit on their lawn covered in blood and make them question their holiday decorating choices.

[Ash]

Don't keep it that weird.

[Elena]

Don't do it.

[Ash]

Oh, you guys are so.

[Elena]

Oh, my God, look how adorable you are. You guys are adorable. And Nola.

[Ash]

Oh, Nola. I'm obsessed.

[Elena]

Nola is. Noah's a star.

[Ash]

What a beautiful family.

[Elena]

And. And this is Nola, who thinks she's terrifying, but she's really just a sound alarm and most cuddly companion of all. Oh, I love that.

[Ash]

I love her.

[Elena]

Oh, my God, you guys are beautiful.

[Ash]

All more pictures of how adorable you are.

[Elena]

I love it. You know what? One thing I can say about my doshis is that they the cutest little smooshy booins in the entire world. They'll your up.

[Ash]

Yeah, they're.

[Elena]

And they.

[Ash]

And they can like, jump like crazy.

[Elena]

They're. Blanche has springs in her back.

[Ash]

Yeah, she did it to me excitedly today, but I was like, if she was mad at me and did this, she would kill me.

[Elena]

Yeah, truly. Like, JN will pretend to tickle me or the girls and Blanche forgets all love she has for him and will dive from the other room and bite him.

[Ash]

Yeah, yeah, I get it. But only she.

[Elena]

It's like she know they're two girlies, so they like, they keep an eye out for the men.

[Ash]

Yeah, yeah. It's true. No, I think Dolo senses the paranormal because lately she's just barking into our kitchen randomly when there's nothing there.

[Elena]

I like that.

[Ash]

And like, I check the outside cameras. No one's there.

[Elena]

Good for her. Yeah.

[Ash]

You know, she's in touch.

[Elena]

That's a real good for her moment.

[Ash]

It is.

[Elena]

I like that about her.

[Ash]

So, weirdos. Merry Christmas, Happy Chrysler, Merry Christmas and all that stuff. Next week we're going to be off, but you won't know it because we're going to be releasing Elena's favorites. Like we did the week of Thanksgiving with my favorites. December, it's Elena's birth month.

[Elena]

It's the holidays.

[Ash]

You know, it's her birthday.

[Elena]

The high holidays. Yeah, that's a high holiday.

[Ash]

Oh, high holiday. So it's her favorites and those are going to be good. And then when we get back, listener. I think listener Tales have been like, on a couple different days lately, but they'll be back to the last Thursday of every month starting in January.

[Elena]

So be there. Be square Krampus for life.

[Ash]

And we hope you keep listening.

[Elena]

And we hope you keep it weird.

[Ash]

But not so weird that you don't have the happiest holiday season. Yeah, Sam. Sa.

[Elena]

Nicholas said. Revolting. Whoa. We need that little clip.

[Ash]

Yeah, Nicholas. I'm just gonna let you talk to him from now on. I feel like he, like, actually talks to you.

[Elena]

He does. We just had a moment.

[Ash]

I can do the estays and you.

[Elena]

Can talk to.

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[Ash]

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