Melissa Ann Shepard: The Internet Black Widow

Summary

Morbid Podcast: Melissa Ann Shepard — The Internet Black Widow

Hosts: Ash Kelley & Alaina Urquhart
Date: February 23, 2026
Episode Theme:
This episode dives into the life and crimes of Melissa Ann Shepard, notoriously known as "The Internet Black Widow." With a blend of deeply researched true crime storytelling and candid humor, Ash and Alaina examine how Shepard preyed upon vulnerable, often elderly men, leveraging romance, manipulation, and poison for personal gain. The tone remains empathetic for the victims while sharply critical of Shepard’s chilling tactics.

---

Main Theme & Purpose

Purpose:
To explore the criminal history, methods, and legacy of Melissa Ann Shepard, centering on her pattern of exploiting and harming elderly men — often through marriage and subsequent poisoning — and examining how her actions rippled through families and legal systems in both Canada and the US.

Episode Structure:

• Case background and initial victim story
• Exploration of Shepard's early life and previous crimes
• Deep dives into subsequent victims
• Reflections on the effects upon families and society
• Notable psychological and legal commentary

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Introduction to the Case

[10:01]:

• Alaina sets up the story of Fred Weeks, an elderly widower in Nova Scotia, who, after losing his wife of 54 years, meets "Melissa Ann Russell" (Shepard's alias) in 2012.
• Their whirlwind romance quickly leads to marriage, but soon after, Fred falls ill.

Quote:

"He was in fact lonesome. And they hit it off and started a whirlwind romance." (Alaina, [11:47])

---

2. The Pattern Emerges: Romance, Poison, & Power

[11:50–19:01]:

• Fred’s friend and officiant, George, discovers after the wedding that Melissa is a convicted killer known as the Black Widow (from Canadian investigative show 'The Fifth Estate').
• Fred quickly falls gravely ill; toxicology finds unexplained tranquilizers in his system.
• Melissa confesses to dosing Fred with drugs in his coffee but claims no murderous intent. Charges are dropped from attempted murder to "administering a noxious thing with intent to aggrieve or annoy a person" ([18:02]).

Quote:

"I just want Fred to know the situation he might be in. You know, he could be in danger." (George, [13:21])
"I'm charging you with administering a noxious thing." (Ash, [15:49])

Insight:
Police were hamstrung by the lack of "actionable crime" until Fred was hospitalized; early intervention is difficult even with known repeat offenders.

---

3. Victim Empathy & Community Response

[19:05–20:09]:

• Despite being poisoned, Fred expresses no ill will:

"I'm just very glad to have it all over with and have it come to an end. I'm not worried about what she gets." (Fred, [19:01])

• The hosts reflect on how devastating it is for elderly people trying to move on after loss to fall prey to such manipulation.
• Shepard’s targeting of the elderly is labeled "inherently sad" by both hosts.

---

4. Shepard's Backstory: Roots of a Black Widow

[24:33–25:54]:

• Born 1935 in Burnt Church, New Brunswick; later lived on Prince Edward Island.
• Locals remember her as entitled, scornful, and always wanting more than she’d earned.
• After her first husband left, she pivoted to high-effort financial crimes, collecting 30+ fraud convictions under a series of aliases (e.g., Melissa Ann Weeks, Friedrich, Sheppard, Stewart).

Quote:

"Fraud always gets me because I'm like, that's so much work. So much admin...You could just get a job and it would probably be less work!" (Ash, [25:26])

---

5. The Stewart Death: Escalation to Murder

[27:36–31:47]:

• Shepard marries Gordon Stewart (still technically married to her first husband), another elderly widower.
• Gordon’s family is warned:

"Tell Gordy to get away from her. She's trouble." (Kate Reeve, Gordon’s sister, [27:36])

• Stewart dies in a suspicious car accident; Melissa claims self-defense after rape, but autopsy reveals Stewart was heavily sedated and the sequence of events is implausible. Motive found to be financial: she inherited his pension benefits.
• Convicted of manslaughter; receives only a two-year sentence, which Ash and Alaina lampoon as shockingly lenient.

---

6. Reinvented as "Survivor" & Repeat Offending

[32:01–34:43]:

• Shepard rebrands as a battered woman; leverages battered woman syndrome to speak on lecture circuits and in documentaries.
• Upon release, she quickly resumes her predatory behaviors, this time targeting American widower Robert Friedrich in Florida.

Quote:

"The Holy Spirit told me this man would be my next husband...I felt the presence of the Holy Spirit." (Melissa Shepard, [34:44])

---

7. Systematic Exploitation of Elderly Widowers

[35:15–44:03]:

• Marries Friedrich, isolates him from family, and quickly moves to get power of attorney and change his will.
• Family notices health decline and suspicious financial activity.
• Despite reports to Florida Elder Abuse Commission, Melissa blocks in-home monitoring; she also threatens the family:

"He's going to leave all the money to me and the portion he set aside for you and your two brothers...that portion is now going to the Christian retreat. And you are getting nothing. A big fat zero. So try that on for size and have a nice day." (Melissa voicemail to Bob Friedrich, [39:46])

Quote (Host Reaction):

"How are you still a mean girl in your goddamn golden years, in your twilight years?" (Ash, [41:28])

---

8. Online Predation: The Digital Black Widow Era

[51:10–62:07]:

• Shepard progresses to using online dating sites to find her next victim: Alex Strategos, 73.
• Within two months, she drugs him, seizes power of attorney, attempts to move him to long-term care, and siphons $20,000.
• His son, Dean, pushes for medical staff to test for drugs and ultimately helps rescue his dad. Melissa is caught, pleads guilty, and receives a five-year sentence.

Quote:

"I can thank my son for saving my life because the rest home discovered drugs in my system." (Alex Strategos, [56:40])
"You don't mess with ice cream like that." (Alaina, [60:13])

---

9. Shepard’s Perspective & Lack of Remorse

[62:07–63:22]:

• Even after numerous convictions, Shepard denies wrongdoing, says she was only seeking love:

"I can't say that from now on, I'll be a perfect citizen, but I'm gonna try day by day to behave myself...but I can't say that that's going to be the outcome." (Shepard, [63:01])

---

10. Expert Commentary: Calculated, Cold, and Dangerous

[63:22]:

• Forensic expert Eric Hickey:

"They see these men as simply objects...They are black widows. They are quite calculating, and they are pretty good liars." ([63:22])

---

11. Release, Restrictions, and Ongoing Risk

[64:44–66:01]:

• Melissa is released at age 80 with strict conditions: curfew, no Internet, notify police of romantic interests.
• Quickly reoffends; caught using Internet at the library, but charges dropped.
• Multiple victims and their families continue to say she remains a threat.

Quote:

"I think she's a wicked woman. She's not safe with any man. And she'll do it again." (Fred Weeks, [66:01])

---

Notable Quotes & Memorable Host Moments

• "I just really feel bad for them because this is the ultimate betrayal, and your whole world comes crashing down." (Ash, [58:11])
• "Let old people vibe, man." (Ash, [58:51])
• "If I'm even like, don't you feel like hot garbage inside? Because if I have to get mean with someone, I feel like hot garbage inside." (Ash, [45:44])
• "Diabolical. Not to use ice cream, but to use my evening snack against me. How dare you?" (Alaina, [60:13])
• "If you are drugging people, not cool. Cut it out." (Ash, [58:03])

---

Timestamps for Key Segments

| Segment | Timestamp | |----------------------------------------------------|-----------| | Start of Case Discussion | [10:01] | | Fred Weeks' Story & Wedding | [11:03] | | Discovery of Shepard's Criminal Past | [13:14] | | Drugging & Legal Fallout | [14:33–18:36] | | Shepard’s Background & Fraud History | [24:33–25:54] | | The Gordon Stewart Case & Death | [27:36–31:47] | | Battered Wife Lecture Circuit/Documentary Era | [32:01–34:43] | | Robert Friedrich’s Decline & Family Conflict | [34:43–44:03] | | Alex Strategos: Internet Victim | [51:10–62:07] | | Shepard's Denial & Psychological Analysis | [62:07–63:22] | | Parole Problems & Final Updates | [64:44–66:11] | | Final Reflections/Host Advice | [66:11–68:37] |

---

Original Tone & Style

• Empathetic towards victims and their families
• Intensely critical and often incredulous at Shepard's repeated offenses and the justice system's handling
• Witty banter and comic relief interwoven with heavy subject matter ("Mean girl energy perseveres," [41:40])
• Advocacy for elder safety and recurring joke-advice for Shepard to "just chill out and pick up a hobby" ([66:14–66:36])

---

Takeaways

• Pattern of Victimization: Shepard systematically preyed on grieving, isolated older men — befriending, drugging, then financially and legally exploiting them.
• Legal Frustrations: Repeated difficulties in proactively intervening or delivering meaningful sentences, exposing gaps in protection for vulnerable elders.
• Persistent Danger: Even post-conviction and with advanced age, both families and experts agree Shepard remains a threat, prompting severe parole conditions.
• Empathy & Prevention: The episode closes with hosts advocating vigilance, support for elderly relatives, and the importance of reporting suspicions early.

---

Summary in a Sentence

This episode exposes how Melissa Ann Shepard, "The Internet Black Widow," orchestrated a decades-long pattern of targeting vulnerable elderly men through romance, poison, and deception — leaving heartbreak, loss, and a legacy of legal shortcomings in her wake, all illuminated with Morbid’s signature blend of empathy, insight, and humor.

Transcript

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[Ash]

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[Elena]

Morbid is all about the facts. So when Southern New Hampshire University came out as a sponsor, it was time to do some research. Turns out they offer more than 200 online degree programs. And get this, criminal justice and psychology are some of the most popular. Classes have no set meeting times, and tuition rates are some of the lowest in the U.S. want to learn even more about SNHU? Visit SNHU. Edu Morbid in order to support our show, we need the help of some great advertisers and we want to make sure those advertisers are ones that you'll actually want to hear about. But we need to learn a little more about you to make that possible. So go to podsurvey.commorbid and take a quick anonymous survey that will help get us to know you better. That way we can bring on advertisers that you won't want to skip. Once you've completed the quick survey, you can enter for a chance to win a hundred dollar Amazon gift card. Terms and conditions apply. Again, that's podsurvey.comm O R B I D thanks for your help. Hey weirdos. On top of your head.

[Ash]

On top of your head.

[Elena]

I am Elena and this is Morbid. On top of your head. We were just watching. If you're not following Marty Miller on TikTok, you made a grave mistake.

[Ash]

Truly. I don't know how to describe his content.

[Elena]

It's indescribable in the best way.

[Ash]

But I urge you to go listen

[Elena]

to I have been sending you those TikToks for years. this point he will just be like shout out to you girl. On top of your head. This is looking awesome today.

[Ash]

He's, he's phenomenal.

[Elena]

And we were just watching the one that he did. Elena found it of after the America's Next Top Model doc, which we just watched and you know it's going to be a bonus app. Oh guys, I have so much to say and I won't Say it here and now, because we are.

[Ash]

We're getting ready to film the bonus episode or to record the bonus episode. Yeah, I'm sorry I said film. I shouldn't have said that.

[Elena]

We're not filming it.

[Ash]

We're not filming that one. Maybe in the future we'll film. Maybe we should.

[Elena]

And we should smize through it.

[Ash]

Oh, my God. Just smize the entire time. I don't think I can smize.

[Elena]

Do try. She just. She actually just smiled like. Like forcefully at me.

[Ash]

I did.

[Elena]

I said that's not. No, that's not it.

[Ash]

On top of your head.

[Elena]

He always says on top of your head.

[Ash]

No, it was a trip.

[Elena]

Yeah.

[Ash]

In my opinion, I think the only people that looked came out good in that documentary were the contestants. Yeah. Personally.

[Elena]

Yeah.

[Ash]

So I can't wait to talk about it.

[Elena]

I have so much to say. We can't even get too far into it, but go follow Marty Miller on Tick Tock and watch that Tick Tock on top of your head and listen

[Ash]

to what he says about it.

[Elena]

Hot ice cream. I say, darn. I love him so much. Anything else you want to talk about? Big Red. Big Red.

[Ash]

Big Red on top of your head. You should buy. Buy the Butcher Legacy. You should pre order it. Duh. Yeah. ButcherLegacy.com. you can get it anywhere. I signed 2,000 more copies for Barnes and Noble, so go get those casual

[Elena]

fucking feet to address 2,000 more babes. You have a wrist still.

[Ash]

I have them in front of me. That's another thing.

[Elena]

Your wrists.

[Ash]

I do. I have my wrists in front of me. I have a stack of tippins in front of me that I'm signing. As we do this, some people have asked, are they actually signed?

[Elena]

Yes.

[Ash]

I. I swear to you they're actually.

[Elena]

I should just every now and again when you're doing it, just take videos of you and then we can. We can compile. Yeah.

[Ash]

These aren't one of those things where they get like matte, like mass produced with like a signature on it. I have a giant. I've six giant boxes of tippins. Yeah. So they're really signed. Just so you know, I've had a couple of those questions and I just wanted to clear that up.

[Elena]

I just want to clear the irons.

[Ash]

I just want to clear that up.

[Elena]

Clear it up.

[Ash]

But go get it. Go pre order it. It's great.

[Elena]

I am gonna start listening to. Because let me clear something up. I've read all the books except the third one. I haven't read that one yet. But I want to redo them. And I'm gonna listen to the audiobook because it's been highly suggested for butcher and the wren and the butcher game.

[Ash]

They're pretty great.

[Elena]

Because I heard Joe and Sophie.

[Ash]

Joe and Sophie are not in the

[Elena]

park, so I'm gonna listen.

[Ash]

Yeah, I highly suggest.

[Elena]

Is Mikey whistling? Because I'll kill him for that. One thing about me. Do you ever. Do you get like, rage about things that don't make sense? Oh, yeah, you do.

[Ash]

I'm just gonna say, have you met me? I hate.

[Elena]

I've probably addressed it before. I hate whistling.

[Ash]

I whistle all the time, so I can't.

[Elena]

I feel like I've never even heard you.

[Ash]

I do it all the time.

[Elena]

Do you know that? I hate it. So you don't do it in front of me.

[Ash]

Maybe deep in my soul, I know that that's nice.

[Elena]

Drew whistles and I literally. I'm like, stop it.

[Ash]

That's so funny. Whistling doesn't not have any effect on me.

[Elena]

I just hate it.

[Ash]

That's. That's. That's a thing.

[Elena]

It's a thing. I had a boss that used to whistle for me. So, like, not in a hot way. In a, like, I need you to come do this one.

[Ash]

Is there a hot way to whistle at you? No.

[Elena]

Well, I was saying, like, like how people would be like, oh, like, he wasn't. He wasn't sexually harassing me, just to be clear.

[Ash]

Yeah, but.

[Elena]

But it was more like, come do this. And I was like, ugh.

[Ash]

You were like, fuck you.

[Elena]

No, I don't wanna work.

[Ash]

Oh, you were. You were better at it. You didn't say, fuck you, bitch.

[Elena]

No, no, no, no. All right. Yeah.

[Ash]

I don't think there's. I'm trying to think. Oh, what? This is just another personal thing.

[Elena]

What's up?

[Ash]

I'm very late to the party on this, but I have to say it. I finally got to sit down and watch Sinners. Me and John have been wanting to watch it for five months and months. And the girls had a sleepover with Auntie Titi.

[Elena]

Hey.

[Ash]

And so we were like, oh, my God, we can watch a two hour movie. And so we watched it. I cannot stress it enough if you have not seen Sinners or you didn't think you wanted to see it. You want to see it.

[Elena]

I knew that I wanted to see it and I just kept not seeing it. And I still haven't seen it.

[Ash]

It is one of the most incredible movies I have ever seen. I am still thinking about it.

[Elena]

Is it like super scary.

[Ash]

It's scary.

[Elena]

Is it gory?

[Ash]

It's go.

[Elena]

But like, I don't care about those things, but I have to know what I can watch with Drew and what I can't.

[Ash]

Yeah, it's. It's scary in the best because they. It's like they handle vampires in one of those.

[Elena]

Oh, I didn't know it was vampires.

[Ash]

Yeah. There's vampires involved. There's. The music in it is phenomenal. Oh, it's a mix of all different guys.

[Elena]

It's.

[Ash]

There's one scene in particular, and I'm sure you guys know what scene I'm talking about, where they just meld all these different, like, music genres and music time periods all together. And it's. We were like Jaws on the floor.

[Elena]

Really?

[Ash]

Like, it's one of those movies that when it's over, you're just like, how. How was I allowed to watch that? Really? Like, that was so good. I'm like, what the. I want them to win all the Oscars.

[Elena]

Damn.

[Ash]

I think they should win all the Oscars. Michael B. Jordan was amazing.

[Elena]

Really?

[Ash]

One me Musaku. I believe it's how you say her name. She plays Annie in the. In the movie. I was literally obsessed with her. Really?

[Elena]

Like, I just keep saying really?

[Ash]

Really?

[Elena]

I'm like, for real. Are you sure about that?

[Ash]

And who is the guy who plays Remick? He plays one of the vampires and I. He literally killed it. Jack o'.

[Elena]

Connell.

[Ash]

They all. I mean, buddy guy is in it. Jamie Lawson was amazing. Delroy Lindo. It's just like. It's like Jack, it's like Chalker Block full of these fucking phenomenal actors and musicians. And I'm just. I. I can't. I. Now I get it. I get that. Like, I cuz whenever there's like that much hype, you're always like, is it. Can it be that good?

[Elena]

You should.

[Ash]

I think it's under hyped.

[Elena]

Really. Like, you should. Why can't I stop saying really? I need to pick a different word. Really, really, really. You should pick it for Scream.

[Ash]

I think I'm going to. Because I need to watch it because it's very current.

[Elena]

Yeah.

[Ash]

And it's just everybody needs to watch it.

[Elena]

Yeah. If you're not listening to Scream, go listen to Scream.

[Ash]

Yeah.

[Elena]

Perhaps she'll have that be her.

[Ash]

Maybe I'll pick that because Frankenstein and Sinners are right up top notch.

[Elena]

Wow. Okay, so you're comparing it to Frankenstein in terms of like, liking it.

[Ash]

Yeah.

[Elena]

Oh.

[Ash]

Two very different movies. So of course, compare Them, but they're right there.

[Elena]

They're yours right now.

[Ash]

So good.

[Elena]

Oh, yeah, I gotta watch that.

[Ash]

Yeah, I'm highly, highly, highly recommend obsessed.

[Elena]

Yeah, I'll watch. Oh, also, we discovered just really quickly that I can't ever see Chicago.

[Ash]

Yeah.

[Elena]

No, can't ever see Chicago. I think last episode I was like, oh, my God, I'm going to New York this weekend. I'm gonna have so much fun. I can't wait to see Chicago. Nope, didn't get to see it.

[Ash]

No. Something is cursed about Chicago with Ash and Drew and they can never see it. So don't ever invite them to it.

[Elena]

Don't ever invite us. We were supposed to have seen Chicago three times now. This is the third time we were supposed to have seen it. And feline acne struck again. And we couldn't leave Franklin with his acne because it can get infected. Feeling acne is nuts. It can get infected. So I. It.

[Ash]

It just sounds so funny. Like we can't leave Franklin with the sac.

[Elena]

It's ridiculous. It's a ridiculous way to live. But here we are. And here we are. He's good. Don't worry. We took him to the vet.

[Ash]

He's killing it, so.

[Elena]

But we had to stay home. And I was. I was honestly so bummed. Like, I wasn't mad at Franklin, but I was so excited for New York.

[Ash]

Yeah.

[Elena]

Because I feel like a part time New Yorker lately.

[Ash]

I know he's been there a lot lately.

[Elena]

We've gone like every month. And I broke the streak.

[Ash]

You did. How dare you?

[Elena]

Really sad. But you know what? I lived. Franklin lived.

[Ash]

And I lived. I laughed. I loved.

[Elena]

Yeah, I did. On top of my head.

[Ash]

On top of my head.

[Elena]

So I have a case for you.

[Ash]

I. That's great. Because that is why we're here.

[Elena]

That is, in fact, why we're here. I did do my job, which is nobody had to whistle at me about it. I love that because I was going to. You were gonna do it. Don't. I hate whistling. Were you just whistling out there? No.

[Ash]

Maybe it was Joan.

[Elena]

Was it John whistling?

[Ash]

Maybe.

[Elena]

Damn.

[Ash]

Yeah.

[Elena]

It was a jaunty whistle.

[Ash]

I thought it was.

[Elena]

It had theater kid energy.

[Ash]

I'll tell John that.

[Elena]

I love that. All right, so we are going to be talking today about Melissa Ann shepherd, who is known as the Internet black widow.

[Ash]

Whoa.

[Elena]

Yeah.

[Ash]

Okay.

[Elena]

This is a interesting case. It's a really sad case because a lot of, like, people were taken advantage of in the later years of their life, which is the worst time, I think to be. Well, it's always a bad time to be taken advantage of. But.

[Ash]

But there's something like inherently sad when like an elderly person or someone, like the later years of their life gets taken advantage of. Yeah. Cuz like at that point you're, you're just supposed to be like living.

[Elena]

You're supposed to be like enjoying fruits of your labor.

[Ash]

Yeah.

[Elena]

And just chilling and not having an Internet black widow take advantage of you.

[Ash]

You don't, you don't need that.

[Elena]

So let's get into it. Let's do it in the fall of 2012. So pretty recently actually sort of. Doesn't that feel like it was like last week?

[Ash]

That's still very recent.

[Elena]

To me it is. In the fall of 2012, Fred Weeks was still mourning the loss of his wife of 54 years. But he decided it was time to move forward in his life. He wanted to start dating again, or at least thinking about it. And it was then that he met Melissa Ann Russell.

[Ash]

Okay.

[Elena]

She was a 78 year old woman who moved in four doors down from him in a retirement community. And this was in New Glasgow, Nova Scotia. A few days later, Melissa, knock, knock, knocked on Fred's door. And he told reporters, she just wanted to know if I was lonesome the same. She was. He was in fact lonesome. And they hit it off and started a whirlwind romance.

[Ash]

It sounds like such a meet cute.

[Elena]

It would be. So a few weeks into Fred and Melissa's relationship, Fred called his longtime friend George to be like, yo, I have fallen in love.

[Ash]

That's like verbatim what he said.

[Elena]

It's a quote. He said he and Millie wanted to get married as soon as possible because this whirlwind romance was whirlwinding.

[Ash]

That's cute.

[Elena]

It is cute. George, the friend later told CBS News they were kind of bubbly.

[Ash]

Kind of bubbly.

[Elena]

Kind of bubbly. Now listen, George was the justice of the peace. So Fred was like, will you perform the ceremony? And George said, hell yeah, brother.

[Ash]

Hell yeah.

[Elena]

He recalled. I congratulated them both and Fred thanked me profusely for the ceremony. They were happy at the time, or at least Fred was. And Millie appeared to be.

[Ash]

Oh, man.

[Elena]

So after the ceremony, they immediately left for their honeymoon. And George was like, have the best time. So happy to have done this favor for you. I love love.

[Ash]

Hell yeah.

[Elena]

But the next day, George got a call from somebody who had pretty alarming news. George told reporters years later, I got a call from a lady who asked me if I knew who Millie was. And I said, yeah, I do. She's Millianne Russell, obviously. Then she asked me if I'd ever seen a program on the Fifth Estate called Black Widow. Now, the Fifth Estate is like an investigative news show over in Canada. And George was like, no, I haven't seen that, but I guess I should go check it out.

[Ash]

Oh, boy.

[Elena]

So he didn't know it at the time, but he had just sent his friend off on a honeymoon with a notorious felon and convicted killer.

[Ash]

That's not what you want to find out. The day after that. Performing a ceremony.

[Elena]

That's the thing. The day after you performed this ceremony and said, like, do you take you. By the power vested in me, live your best damn life.

[Ash]

Yeah, that's not great.

[Elena]

Shout me out. Doing one soon. Just kidding. So after familiarizing himself with the Fifth Estate episode, George learned that Millie was, in fact, Melissa Ann Sheppard, who was a notorious Black Widow. And she was also known to have killed at least one of her husbands in addition to committing other crimes. So George tried to call up Fred and warn him, but they had already left for the boat for Newfoundland. So he called the police instead and insisted that they needed to warn his friend somehow. He said, I wanted Fred to know the situation he might be in. You know, he could be in danger. But unfortunately, and I'm sure you're all thinking this, the police explained, since Melissa hadn't done anything or, like, committed any crimes against Fred, and she had already served her time for previous charges, they couldn't get involved. There was nothing they can do. They can't just be like, knock, knock, warning, you married a felon. So four days later, Fred and Melissa were on a boat headed on their honeymoon, and Fred started to feel dizzy.

[Ash]

Oh, no.

[Elena]

Yeah, he was still unwell when they reached their hotel and went to lay down, but he woke up a few hours later, and. And he was still dizzy. And soon after, he collapsed and had to be rushed to the nearest hospital on their honeymoon.

[Ash]

Poor Fred.

[Elena]

So the nurses ran blood tests, and the results showed that Fred had a large amount of the tranquilizers, lorazepam and temazepam in his system, despite having no memory of taking either of those drugs. When medical staff asked Melissa about Fred's medical history, she said that he had prostate problems, bowel surgery, and that he was suffering from dementia and chronic obstructive pulmonary disorder.

[Ash]

Copd.

[Elena]

Yeah, but I didn't even know that. Check you out. But when those same providers tried to confirm this with Fred, he was like, I don't have any of those things.

[Ash]

Oh, no.

[Elena]

But also they're just being told that he has dementia. So they're like, does he not know that he has this or does he not have these things? What?

[Ash]

What the fuck?

[Elena]

Two days later, Nova Scotia police arrested Melissa and charged her with attempted murder and administering a noxious thing.

[Ash]

Holy.

[Elena]

Meanwhile, Fred was just sent home to recover.

[Ash]

And also. Was that administering a noxious thing? Yeah.

[Elena]

Is that how.

[Ash]

Why does that sound so funny?

[Elena]

It does, doesn't it?

[Ash]

I'm charging you with administering a noxious thing.

[Elena]

Whenever I look at the word and I say it, I always feel like I'm saying it wrong.

[Ash]

No, you're saying it just sounded so funny. Like, obnoxious thing.

[Elena]

Yeah, a noxious thing.

[Ash]

I don't know why that was so funny.

[Elena]

Don't do that now. So he's just sent home to recover from all of that, but also he's still married to this woman.

[Ash]

Yeah.

[Elena]

And is like, what the just happened?

[Ash]

Who might have just tried to. To do something to kill him.

[Elena]

Yeah, like allegedly.

[Ash]

Yeah, allegedly.

[Elena]

So while in custody, Melissa admitted to investigators that she had, quote, dissolved both medications and coffee and then given them to Fred over a period of time in the days leading up to his hospitalization. What the. So this was. This wasn't just a one time thing. She was doing this for days on end and she's just like, yeah, yeah, I did that.

[Ash]

I did do that.

[Elena]

Yeah. She said that she had done so without his knowledge. Wow. So she admitted that.

[Ash]

She admitted that she did that.

[Elena]

So through their interviews with friends and people who had had contact with the couple in the previous two months, investigators started to recognize a pattern. Fred did actually seem to be experiencing periodic dizziness and brain fog in even, like, before they got married. But when he would go to a hospital for treatment and was away from Melissa, he'd instantly get better.

[Ash]

Wow.

[Elena]

On the day of their wedding, Fred actually almost drove his car off the road when he just inexplicably became confused and disoriented. The day of their wedding, he was potentially drugged.

[Ash]

Holy shit.

[Elena]

He later said, I almost went over the bank because my foot wasn't doing what my brain should be telling it to stay on the road.

[Ash]

Oh, that must have been so scary.

[Elena]

Yeah. Now, for investigators, obviously, the pieces all started to come together when they searched Melissa and Fred's hotel room and discovered on a notepad the words lawyer, power of attorney, and will written down.

[Sponsor/Advertiser Voice]

What?

[Elena]

Yeah. Could you be any more like you're

[Ash]

writing of attorney post it Notes about what's going on, apparently. Damn.

[Elena]

So she admitted to drugging Fred, but Melissa stopped well short of confessing to attempted murder. And the prosecutor didn't really have any evidence that that was her intention per se.

[Ash]

Babe. What else would be.

[Elena]

I know, but it's a. I know. You need a lot to take it to court.

[Ash]

Yeah.

[Elena]

So as a result, the Crown agreed to withdraw the charge of attempted murder and they amended the second charge to, like we said, administering a noxious thing with intent to aggrieve or annoy a person.

[Ash]

I like that.

[Elena]

Doesn't that get even better or annoy a person?

[Ash]

That annoyed me.

[Elena]

I like that. That's a.

[Ash]

That's like an actual thing. It's like you annoyed someone.

[Elena]

Yeah.

[Ash]

Your intent was to annoy someone.

[Elena]

It's rude. It's rude. So that was going to be the charge and that would be an exchange for a guilty plea and a three and a half year sentence.

[Ash]

Wow.

[Elena]

So obviously Melissa accepted that deal.

[Ash]

Obviously.

[Elena]

Now, remarkably, when he was asked how he felt about the arrest in the plea deal, Fred appeared to actually have no ill will towards his now ex wife. Eventually they did divorce guys. In the days leading up to the sentencing, he told a reporter, people want her hung up from a tree and cut to pieces. I'm just very glad to have it all over with and have it come to an end. I'm not worried about what she gets. Whatever she gets is what the judge will give her and that's what she deserves.

[Ash]

Fred is the chillest.

[Elena]

Fred is big chillin.

[Ash]

Fred chills to the max.

[Elena]

Poor Fred loses his wife.

[Ash]

Yeah.

[Elena]

Finally gets back out there and this is the first woman he encounters.

[Ash]

First woman.

[Elena]

I'd be like, I will never get back out there.

[Ash]

I'm hanging up my suspenders at that point. We're not. We're not going out on the town anymore.

[Elena]

No. I would say we're going to go ahead and watch a lot of television. We're getting a hobby. I was just going to say we're going to pick a hobby.

[Ash]

Yeah.

[Elena]

Perhaps we'll crochet.

[Ash]

Yeah. Maybe model trains.

[Elena]

Sour. Sour dough.

[Ash]

Yeah. Sour dough.

[Elena]

Sourdough, if you will.

[Ash]

Perhaps, but yeah.

[Elena]

So under normal circumstances, an elderly woman attempting to poison her husband would have garnered a pretty small amount of attention from the press. Yeah. You know, unfortunately those things don't really get a lot of heat on them. It would have faded away. A larger story would have come along. L. DA do. But in this case, it didn't take long for the press to learn that this wasn't the first time Melissa had been suspected or convicted of attempted murder. Oops. She actually had a criminal history in two countries that went back decades. Holy. Including a lot of crimes that were very similar to this one that she had just perpetrated, only with a much worse outcome.

[Ash]

Oh no.

[Elena]

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[Ash]

Whoa.

[Elena]

So obviously like it, Even if it was good, at one point, it got real bad.

[Ash]

Something went awry.

[Elena]

Something happened. Now among the residents of Prince Edward island who remembered her from those days, few, if any, had nice things to say about Melissa. The general consensus on the island was as far back as anybody could remember. Melissa thought that she was better than most everybody on the island and thought that she was entitled to more. And she hadn't really earned any of that.

[Ash]

Oh, that's the problem there is when you think it needs to be just handed to you.

[Elena]

Exactly. Now, whether out of desperation or some other reason, after her divorce, she turned to crime as a primary source of income. And between 1977 and 1991, she racked up more than 30 convictions for fraud and other financial crimes under four different aliases.

[Ash]

Holy.

[Elena]

Yeah, there was Melissa. Truly. Also, I don't know when people have this many aliases, how they keep track.

[Ash]

I. That's the thing, like in the fraud of it all, fraud always gets me because I'm like, that's so much work.

[Elena]

It's a lot of work.

[Ash]

So much admin, so much keeping up with shit.

[Elena]

Yeah.

[Ash]

You could just get a job and it would probably be less work than

[Elena]

the fraud because then you could just bring your stuff to TurboTax and file.

[Ash]

Yeah. Legally, like the fraud is just too much work.

[Elena]

Actually, the first thing we said when we hired accountants was we don't want to go to federal prison. Yeah.

[Ash]

They said, what are your goals here? And we said, not to go to federal prison.

[Elena]

That's literally it.

[Ash]

I just would like to not commit fraud.

[Elena]

I would like to pay what I'm supposed to pay.

[Ash]

Yeah.

[Elena]

Fraud. Nobody. And live a life out of federal prison. Just please do that and not have an alias.

[Ash]

Yeah. And I think they appreciated the honesty.

[Elena]

They said, lol.

[Ash]

They said, we'll do that.

[Elena]

Sounds good.

[Ash]

I said, great.

[Elena]

They said, we'll file your taxes. Melissa didn't talk to any of these people, though. Instead she did not have those desires. Instead, she came up with all her different aliases. There was Melissa and Weeks, Melissa and Friedrich, I think. Melissa Ann Sheppard and Melissa Ann Stewart.

[Ash]

Oh, okay. So she's. She's always Melissa Ann for the most part.

[Elena]

Yeah. She loves, she loves. First name, middle name, last name is where it gets hairy.

[Ash]

Yeah.

[Elena]

So she ended up serving a five year sentence in a Toronto prison for some of those scams. But in 1991, she saw an opportunity for A new scam when she met a man named Gordon Stewart. He was a prince Edward island native whose circumstances would eventually sound very familiar in the context of Melissa's life wife. So, Gordon Stewart, like I said, there's a lot of sadness to this Gordon. Gordon. I know he lost his wife in 1989, and since then, he had obviously been struggling with grief. His sister Kate Reeve said, I thought it would be so wonderful if he found someone. The sooner the better. So when he met Melissa a few years later, they couldn't have been happier. His family, they were, like, awesome. Like, he's been so lonely, and he's been in the thick of it. This could take him out of it. Unfortunately, though, it didn't take long before Gordon's family started to question Melissa's intentions with their brother, their loved one. And they got more and more concerned when they started to hear rumors around town about Melissa, his sister Kate. Again, she said, we had heard that she had been in a lot of trouble with the law, and a member of the police force told my husband, tell Gordy to get away from her. She's trouble.

[Ash]

Okay. So you gotta listen to that.

[Elena]

Yeah. And the Reeves and Stewart families were right to be concerned. Although she was technically still married to shepherd in Canada. After just a few weeks of dating, Melissa and Gordon eloped to Las Vegas. And soon after, Gordon's life took a turn for the worst.

[Ash]

Oh, no.

[Elena]

For reasons that are still pretty unclear, though almost certainly related to this relationship with Melissa, Gordon started gambling and drinking heavily, which quickly led to, obviously, financial problems.

[Ash]

And that doesn't sound like that was his.

[Elena]

That was not his typical character. Not at all. On at least one occasion when he needed medical treatment, following, you know, kind of weeks and weeks of this behavior, doctors found drugs in his system that he couldn't explain. Gordon. Oh, he didn't know why these drugs were in his system, which sounds familiar.

[Ash]

It sure does.

[Elena]

So in mid-1991, the couple moved to Halifax, and Gordon hoped that the change of environment maybe would get things back on track again. But things only got worse from there. His drinking got worse. And while he never seemed like what we were just saying, to have money problems before, he was hemorrhaging money at this point at a rate that didn't seem to make sense at all. And the only explanation for all of it was. Melissa.

[Ash]

Melissa, what are you doing?

[Elena]

Well, in a letter written shortly before his death, he detailed his life with Melissa, how she drained their bank account, lied and cheated. He said, I took her back. I still loved her. And kept hoping things would change. But unfortunately, just a few months after moving to Halifax, tragedy struck. So one night, while Gordon and Melissa were out in a very rural area, he was struck and killed by his own car. While Melissa was behind the wheel. No, there are different and very conflicting reports about this. So I'm just going to tell you what we have here. Melissa reported the death to the police, claiming that. And this is just what she claims, that Gordon had attacked her and raped her. So she said she ran him over with the car in order to flee the scene and that it was self defense.

[Ash]

Wow.

[Elena]

The problem though, and this is investigators problem, as soon as they started looking into the case, nothing Melissa said about the scene made a lot of sense. For one thing, when an autopsy was performed on Gordon, Tess showed a quote, unquote, lethal dose of various drugs in his system at the time of death. Which meant that not only would he have been too sedated to pose a threat to anyone, he almost certainly wouldn't have been able to drive a car either.

[Ash]

Huh.

[Elena]

According to Jerry Swain, the RMC RCMP detective assigned to the case, it aroused suspicion to hear that story. It just didn't seem to fit the scenario of the situation. If you accidentally ran over your husband, why would you not remain and explain the circumstances to whomever?

[Ash]

Yeah.

[Elena]

So the more that Jerry Swain investigated, the less he believed Melissa's story. Gordon Stewart didn't have any history of violence. He didn't have any criminal history, and there was no evidence to support her claim that she had been raped. Her claim that she had hit him with the car in order to escape was also pretty suspicious in Melissa's version of events. After Gordon assaulted her, he got out of the car and walked around the back of the vehicle to use the bathroom. And that's when she jumped in the driver's seat and put the car in reverse. Hitting and killing her husband before fleeing, which like. Like you didn't need to put the car in reverse.

[Ash]

Yeah, I was gonna say, what was the reverse?

[Elena]

About all she would have done to escape the scene was put the car in drive and go forward. Meaning the only way that she could have hit and killed him was if she had done so intentionally and unnecessarily. And that's investigators opinion on this case.

[Ash]

Yeah. That is not our opinion.

[Elena]

No. So it didn't take long for Swain to determine that Melissa had fabricated her story and his belief, and she was arrested and charged with manslaughter. He said as a result of the full investigation, we Determined that the motive was monetary. Gordon Stewart had a regular pension from the Department of Defense, and as his wife, she was entitled to his benefits. So Melissa ended up going on trial for the death of her husband or for the murder of her husband in 1992. And she ultimately was found guilty of manslaughter, but sentenced to two years in prison.

[Ash]

What are we doing?

[Elena]

Two years in prison?

[Ash]

What are we doing here?

[Elena]

Hello.

[Ash]

Two years for manslaughter.

[Elena]

Yup.

[Ash]

The.

[Elena]

So upon her release from prison in 1994, which was literally just like a whoop blip in time.

[Ash]

Yeah.

[Elena]

She found a new scheme pretty quickly and a viable means of making some money. While she was serving her sentence for manslaughter, she had come into contact with several women's rights and domestic violence activists who saw her as a perfect example of a woman who had been punished for what they argued was nothing more than protecting herself from an abusive husband. Husband. So throughout the late 80s and early 90s in North America, there was this concept which we've obviously heard of the battered wife syndrome, and it was also referred. Also called battered woman syndrome. And it had been gaining a lot of traction in, you know, medical professionals, legal professionals, and they were using it as a way to explain a range of behaviors and symptoms pretty similar to those of post traumatic stress disorder, especially in women who had been victims of violence. Yeah. So in some cases, battered women syndrome had also been used as a defense in court cases where a wife or an intimate partner was accused of murdering or physically harming their supposed abuser.

[Ash]

Okay. Yeah.

[Elena]

Or their alleged abuser having been convicted of killing a man that she claimed had been abusive and violently sexually assaulting her. She seemed an ideal spokesperson for the movement at this point in time.

[Ash]

Yeah.

[Elena]

And she quickly became a popular speaker on the lecture circuit.

[Ash]

Wow.

[Elena]

In 1994, she actually appeared in a documentary about domestic violence, and she described the night of the murder. This is her words. She said, he had a knife in his hand. He told me he was going to kill me, but first he was going to take me somewhere. Later on, early that evening, we went into this road. It was like a logging road in the woods. This is triggering trigger warning for sexual assault. She said, he raped me at knife point. And then he got out of the car and walked around behind the car. He had to urinate. So I saw that as my chance to get away.

[Ash]

Wow.

[Elena]

So the description that she gave in the documentary was pretty much the same one that she gave to police on the night of the murder.

[Ash]

Yeah, it sounds like harrowing as an

[Elena]

actual story, and it does, but it doesn't account for any of the inconsistencies that resulted in her conviction. But the producers didn't really raise any questions, so it got out there. But after a few years on the lecture circuit, she moved to Florida in 2000, and she found a place to live in Christian retreat. Among the community leaders was Robert Friedrich. He was an 81 year old retired electrical engineer who had lost his wife of 53 years, Mary, earlier that same year. His son Dennis told a reporter in 2005, dad was the proud, stoic German type. And he was referring to his father's tendency to keep his feelings to himself. He said, we didn't know how lost he really was, which is just heartbreaking. So to fill his time and occupy his mind, Robert threw himself into volunteering with the church, which is where he met Melissa Ann shepherd.

[Ash]

Oh, no.

[Elena]

In 2012, Melissa told reporters, the holy spirit told me this man would be my next husband. He told me exactly who the person was. I could see him because he was up on the platform with the pastor. I began speaking in tongues, and I felt the presence of the holy spirit. Okay, quotes. Yikes. So after struggling with the loss of his wife to cancer, by the way, she passed of cancer. Robert was very excited to have met somebody new. And within a few days of meeting, Melissa and Robert were engaged to be married.

[Ash]

Wow.

[Elena]

I think, like, the older you get, the less, you know, like, you don't have as much time.

[Ash]

I was gonna say you're not gonna have a long engagement.

[Elena]

You're prone to adventure.

[Ash]

Yeah. You're not gonna have a ton of, you know, courting time.

[Elena]

Right, Exactly. If it feels right, maybe it's right.

[Ash]

It feels right. We're in our 80s.

[Elena]

In this case, it was not right. Yeah. So when Robert told his children about his plans to marry Melissa so soon after having met her, obviously they were pretty stunned and, you know, nervous about this. Dennis told his father, at best, she's a kook. At worst, she's a gold digger. But Robert just chuckled and he said, I like to keep my options open. You're an icon.

[Ash]

Wow.

[Elena]

So obviously they were apprehensive about their father's new girlfriend. But Dennis himself tried to be respectful. He remembered he felt, speaking about his dad, that he was going to be taken care of. He had a bride. He wasn't going to be alone anymore.

[Ash]

Oh.

[Elena]

And also, you have to think, like, this is a generation who has, like, always been with somebody romantically, usually 54 years or something like that you're so

[Ash]

used to connection for 54 years, 24, seven, you're around them.

[Elena]

So then to be all by yourself, like, that's a lot to swallow.

[Ash]

Yeah.

[Elena]

So a month later, In June of 2000, Robert and Melissa were married and immediately set off on their cross country honeymoon, which ended with a luxury cruise to the Caribbean, all at Robert's expense. Once they returned, Melissa moved into Robert's home in Brandonton, Florida. And not long after, Robert's children started noticing troubles and changes to their father's health.

[Ash]

Oh, man. Yeah. This isn't coincidence. It feels.

[Elena]

It's not. Robert was 81 years old, like I said, when he married Melissa, and his health had already begun to decline. At that point. It was natural for somebody his age. But after the wedding, there were new health problems that Dennis and his siblings just hadn't seen before. Now, and this will sound interesting to you, Robert was experiencing periods of dizziness without any apparent explanation for, like, why he would be dizzy and he started falling. So obviously the new symptoms were concerning in and of themselves. But equally concerning was another pattern that the kids started to notice. His children. Whenever Robert was home, he seemed to be in poor health. But as soon as he went to the hospital for treatment, he would get better.

[Ash]

Huh.

[Elena]

Which is to be expected. Obviously. Like, you do get better when you get treatment, but it was a marked difference.

[Ash]

Yeah. It's like kids with the croup.

[Elena]

Yes.

[Ash]

They sound like they're dying and then you get them outside in the cold air and get them into the ER and you're like. I swear they were sounding horrific.

[Elena]

Right. Which like, that at least could be accounted for. Like, that makes sense. Yeah. This didn't really make. Not much sense.

[Ash]

No.

[Elena]

So Dennis and his wife noticed something similar whenever Robert would come to visit them at their home in Boston. So this wasn't just like, oh, you're getting medical treatment and you're responding.

[Ash]

Yeah.

[Elena]

It was like whenever you're not home, you're thriving, but you're not at all. Dennis said if he came up here and visited, he'd be fine. But if we talked to him on the telephone, he'd sound dopey. So we became suspicious.

[Ash]

Oh, my God. Can you imagine being his kids too? No. I can't imagine suspecting what they're suspecting

[Elena]

right now, especially after you have to think, too. They're grieving their mother.

[Ash]

Yeah.

[Elena]

And now having to face this woman.

[Ash]

And their parents obviously had like a long, happy marriage.

[Elena]

Yeah.

[Ash]

And they're all grieving and then all of A sudden he's met someone, and now all of a sudden he's sick whenever he's around her.

[Elena]

Yeah.

[Ash]

Scary that I would lose my mind. I can't imagine it. Ooh.

[Elena]

I would get fired up.

[Ash]

Why, I oughta.

[Elena]

Why I oughta, indeed. So obviously they were worried that Melissa was abusing or taking advantage of their father. So Dennis filed a complaint with the Florida Elder Abuse Commission.

[Ash]

Good for him.

[Elena]

Which was very smart.

[Ash]

Dennis is like, I gotta say, Dennis from the beginning of the story is like the kid you want to have.

[Elena]

Truly like.

[Ash]

He really is. He really is. He was a little sus at first, but he said, you know what? We tried to be respectful, and I'm gonna be. I'm gonna be into this for him. But now he's taken action. Yeah.

[Elena]

He said, listen, as soon as I see something weird, I'm calling it out.

[Ash]

Say something, something. I say something.

[Elena]

So the Elder Abuse Commission opened an investigation and ultimately recommended that Robert receive round the clock in home care from a qualified provider. But Melissa outright refused to allow that.

[Ash]

Okay, that's. That's a crimson flag.

[Elena]

That's crimson.

[Ash]

That's the reddest of flags.

[Elena]

So the agency pushed back and they said, no, this would really be good for Robert. Like, we really highly recommend him around. She threatened. Melissa threatened allegedly to file a lawsuit against them. So they backed off and they closed the case.

[Ash]

Wow.

[Elena]

A few days later, Robert's son Bob received a vaguely. A quote, unquote, vaguely threatening message from Melissa. She said, hello, Bob, this is Melissa calling. I have something to share with you. This morning. Your father and I are going to see a lawyer. We've made an appointment, and your father is going to change his will. He's going to leave all the money to me and the portion he set aside for you and your two brothers. That portion is now going to the Christian retreat and you are getting nothing. A big fat zero. So try that on for size and have a nice day. I would have lost my mind when

[Ash]

I tell you she would catch these hands. I don't care how old she is, she would catch.

[Elena]

It's these mothers very reminiscent of beat your grandpa's ass. It's very represent. Honestly,

[Ash]

if I were them, like, that

[Elena]

is the black widow. The Internet black widow's ass, that is. Try that on for size. Okay. Meredith Blake.

[Ash]

What the is that?

[Elena]

Hey, mommy dearest.

[Ash]

The God damn.

[Elena]

Meanwhile, you've known this woman for, like, months, and you're like, where's my mom? Literally, I would like, where's my mom?

[Ash]

Like, what The. I'm shook.

[Elena]

And what do you do?

[Ash]

I'm almost speechless here because, like, the rage that would flow within me, I can't even tap into that rage right now.

[Elena]

Not only try that on for size, but a big fat zero. I'll tell you about a big fat.

[Ash]

How are you still a mean girl in your goddamn golden years, in your twilight years? How are you still a mean girl? How do you still have mean girl energy?

[Elena]

Mean girl energy perseveres.

[Ash]

Unfortunately, mean girl energy goes past high school.

[Elena]

It does. It does a lot of times.

[Ash]

Oh, I know.

[Elena]

Trust me.

[Ash]

I. I encounter it almost daily.

[Elena]

I got it.

[Ash]

But it shouldn't. Like it's. And it's. It's much more a reflection on that person.

[Elena]

78 year old woman. Mean girl energy is heinous.

[Ash]

Yeah. That's rancid.

[Elena]

Well, you know, I've been. I've encountered it.

[Ash]

Oh, yeah.

[Elena]

Not like this, though. I mean, this is pretty intense.

[Ash]

No, this is these poor. These poor kids.

[Elena]

Yeah, this poor family. And poor Robert, he like, obviously is not in his right mind making these decisions. He's being taken advantage of.

[Ash]

Exactly.

[Elena]

By that time, Melissa had convinced Robert to change his will and to make her the beneficiary of his nine insurance policies, among other things. More importantly, the tension between Melissa and Robert's children caused a rift between him and his family. And now he was rarely speaking to them in these final moments of his life.

[Ash]

No.

[Elena]

Dennis's wife, his son, Dennis's wife Karen said, it became evident that we did not like her and she did not like us. So they all kept their distance. And unfortunately, in 2002, Robert died, having never really repaired the rift between himself.

[Ash]

That breaks my heart.

[Elena]

Not long after their father's death, it was confirmed that Robert had indeed left all of his money to Melissa and his church community. And they soon learned that their father's estate had actually become far smaller than they remembered it being in the year since his marriage, dropping from roughly $350,000 to just $100,000. Whoa. Which was left to Melissa. Wow. Like, where did all that money go? Melissa disputes this claim. She said Robert had made many loans to his children over the years, and that explains the smaller amount of the estate. But she has never offered any evidence to prove it. So in their father's final days, Dennis and Bob communicated regularly with Robert's doctors, who were usually confused by the symptoms he was experiencing. Yeah, I bet they thought it was possible that he had maybe developed some kind of degenerative disease, but that wouldn't have accounted for a lot of his other symptoms. And given that he had been in reasonably good health, like, for somebody his age. Before meeting Melissa, Dennis and Bob were convinced that she was somehow responsible for their father's death.

[Ash]

Yeah.

[Elena]

But there wasn't really any evidence to back up that theory, so there was nothing authorities could do to help.

[Ash]

Wow.

[Elena]

So they're just dealing with their grief and, like, injustice.

[Ash]

Yeah.

[Elena]

At this point. So instead, Robert's children filed a civil lawsuit alleging that Melissa had exploited Robert financially. And that was settled out of court with Melissa receiving $15,000 and the remaining money going to the children, Dennis and Bob. Not long after, Melissa sold Robert's house and remaining valuables and just moved to Prince Edward Island. Moved back. So they didn't even have, like, a house to go back to?

[Ash]

Nothing to chauffeur.

[Elena]

No. And nothing that, like, belonged to their dad or anything like that. It sounds like it's.

[Ash]

That's just really sad.

[Elena]

It's horrible. This woman is, in my opinion, horrible.

[Ash]

And, you know, like, that's like. I think, like, something like that happened, like, my. My dad, like, his parents, like, there was a similar kind of. Not with like, you know, alleged drugging and all that.

[Elena]

No, no, no.

[Ash]

But like, a wife happening later in life and changes the whole situation, and they get left with not a lot and everything. And it's so sad.

[Elena]

It is sad because it also really affects the. The relationship that you thought you had with somebody, and you do still have that relationship. And obviously, like, you can hold those memories tight, but it makes you question certain things. You know, it just.

[Ash]

It taints the legacy of, like, what you would like to leave behind.

[Elena]

Yeah.

[Ash]

You know, even as. Just, like, a memory. And it's. That's. It's just really sad.

[Elena]

It's awful.

[Ash]

I just don't get up being like that. I really don't. I don't either. So much work and two. So, like, you're putting all that time and energy just into being mean and,

[Elena]

like, mucking up people's lives. And also. What the is that doing for you?

[Ash]

That's the thing.

[Elena]

I'm like.

[Ash]

If I'm even like, don't you feel like hot garbage inside? Because if I have to get mean with someone, I feel like hot garbage inside. It doesn't do anything, like, good for myself.

[Elena]

No.

[Ash]

Not only deserve it, and then I feel great. Great.

[Elena]

But then it, like, sends her through the roof. You know, I'm clapping for her.

[Ash]

Yeah.

[Elena]

But, like, not even, like, having to be mean to somebody, even if I'M like, oh, was I friendly enough? Like, that trot. I'm literally the kind of person where I'm like, did I say thank you?

[Ash]

Like, was I polite?

[Elena]

You know what I mean? Like, that trashes my soul. It just.

[Ash]

It really does. It trashes your soul to like, be yucky shitty. Yeah. And it's like, that's. I can't imagine living that way. Don't be a bitch.

[Elena]

No, just be a hot bitch. Yeah.

[Ash]

Yeah.

[Elena]

Don't be a.

[Ash]

Be a bad. Don't be like a. Be a bad. Be a. Be a bad. Exactly.

[Elena]

Thank you.

[Ash]

Our advice to you.

[Elena]

That's our TED Talk. Chime makes your everyday spending work harder by delivering real rewards and financial progress. Forget overdraft fees, minimum balance fees, and monthly fees. That's one thing that I just absolutely love about Chime. Fees are the worst. And they get you every time. You'll think that you're saving all this money and then you look at what you spent in fees and you're like, that's literally my salary. What the heck? But not with Chime, because there's no overdraft fees. Like I said, minimum balance fees or monthly fees. Chime is not just smarter banking. It is the most rewarding way to bank. Join the millions who are already banking fee free today. It just takes a few minutes to sign up. App head to chime.commorbid that is chime.commorbid Chime is a financial technology company, not a bank. Banking services the secured Chime Visa credit card and my pay line of credit provided by The Bank Corp. NA or Stride Bank NA MyPay eligibility requirements apply and credit limit ranges $20 to $500. Optional services and products may have fees or charges. See chime.com feesinfo advertised annual percentage yield with Chime+ status only. Otherwise, 1.00% APY applies. No minimum balance required. Chime card on time Payment history may have a positive impact on your credit score. Results may vary. See chime.com for details and applicable terms. As a hairstylist, I have worked with women in the past experiencing hair loss, and I know how much that affects your confidence. Hair in general affects our confidence. If you're having a bad hair day, it does affect the rest of your day. But when you are experiencing hair loss, it's that much worse. You just want to cover up. You want to hide. It really sucks. It might start slow. A few strands left on your pillow, a few more caught in your hairbrush. But over time, the loss does become impossible to ignore. So let's stop the shedding with the all new Pantene Pro V Abundant and Strong Collection. Designed to reduce hair loss and grow healthier, fuller hair, Pantene Abundant and Strong is a three step system, a shampoo, conditioner and a serum powered by science and enriched with antioxidants. We love antioxidants. When used together, it reduces hair loss by 85% and leaves hair looking and feeling thicker. By addressing scalp oxidative stress, your scalp plays such a huge role in your hair growth. The shampoo and serum reduce stress on the scalp, helping retain the hair longer while the conditioner reduces breakage which supports more resilient strands. Like I told you, backed by science, are you ready for stronger and denser hair after just six weeks? Shop Pantene Abundant and Strong Collection now at all stores nationwide. Quince is all about elevated essentials that feel effortless. Designed for layering and mixing, each piece helps build a timeless wardrobe made to last. With versatile silhouettes and thoughtful details. They're the kind of styles that you'll wear again and again and again. They've got the wardrobe staples with quality that's made to last 100 organic cotton sweaters, premium denim made with stretch for all day comfort. Luxe cotton cashmere blends perfect for the changing seasons. And Quince works directly with safe ethical factories. They cut out the middlemen so that you're not paying for the brand markup, just high quality clothing. I shop so frequently at Quints, I actually got the cutest pair of jeans the other day. And the denim truly is made for all day comfort with like a little, a little stretch in there. I was in a bathroom. This girl was like, girl, where did you get your jeans? I said, honey, you gotta check out Quints. And listen, I'm telling all of you right now, check out quints. The sweaters, the denim, the vegan leather, all of it. They even have home stuff too. So refresh your wardrobe and your life with quince. Go to quince.commorbid for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns. Now available in Canada too. That's Q U I n c e.com morbid free shipping and 365 day returns. Quince.com morbid. So unfortunately, Melissa's still at it. So she arrived back in Prince Edward island in 2004 and found herself in a difficult situation. So settling the civil suit brought against her by Robert's children meant that she lost the remaining estate, which she planned to live on. So she needed to come up With a new plan to support herself. Also, in addition for that, the RCMP was investigating her for fraud, alleging that she'd been collecting spousal Social Security benefits under two different names.

[Ash]

Oh.

[Elena]

So she knew consequences were a coming down the pike. So now she had to come up with a plan fast. Not only to get some money, but also to avoid prosecution. So she did what had always worked in her favor in the past. She started looking for a new man. Of course, now, following his second divorce, 73 year old Alex Strategos. I hope I said that correctly. He decided that he was ready to try dating again and he joined an online dating site. Getting back out there. Unfortunately, he met Melissa on that site. He told a reporter later though.

[Ash]

Oh, okay, I, I heard.

[Elena]

Told a reporter later. He told a reporter later, he said, nice to hear. I was just lonely and I thought this was a good chance to find somebody and get together, start a different life. So they sent some messages back and forth before Melissa suggested that, you know, maybe they meet up in person for a date. Knowing that the RCMP was closing in fast, she did need to get out of Canada pretty quickly.

[Ash]

Yep.

[Elena]

So she was like, oh my God, I would love to drive down from Prince Edward island to Florida and meet you irl.

[Ash]

Oh my God.

[Elena]

She said, let's. I'm just so crazy and cuckoo and like we'll do on a whim. Here I come.

[Ash]

She said, brb, afk.

[Elena]

That reminds me of the girl does that. I should pull her up after this. But the girl that I showed you the other day who at the drive thru just goes, here I come. Oh, yeah, I love her. That stresses me out. I'll pull her up. I'll pull her up at the end. Here I come. So that's what Melissa said. She said, on my way.

[Ash]

On my way now.

[Elena]

The proposition seemed crazy to Alex, but he liked that Melissa was, quote, full of life and prepared to do something crazy. He was like, oh, we got a spontaneous girl up in here.

[Ash]

Oh, man.

[Elena]

So she arrived in Florida and she said, ooh, I'm here, but I don't have any money and I don't have a place to stay. So, you know, this date could go on forever. I could just live with you, the

[Ash]

Amy Poehler and baby mama, when she says, oh, no, I don't have gas money.

[Elena]

Yeah, Pat, Pat, where's my wallet? So that obviously caught Alex off guard, but also he's, he's young, he's getting it. He's back on the horse. He's getting out here.

[Ash]

He's like, maybe this is how things are now. Yeah.

[Elena]

He doesn't know, you know, it's been a while. He's like, I don't want to ruin this. So he's like, you can stay with me. Don't worry about it. Nice guy.

[Ash]

Yeah.

[Elena]

He said later, she was a real classy lady. I was lonely, and she was a woman. She was a real classy lady.

[Ash]

He said, I was lonely. She was a woman. You know, we love. We love. He's. He's got simple taste, you know?

[Elena]

Exactly.

[Ash]

I don't need a whole lot more.

[Elena]

He said, lonely woman. Great.

[Ash]

Classy.

[Elena]

Let's go. Classy as well. So from that movement, at that moment, she moved into his condo, and their whirlwind, released relationship again.

[Ash]

Oh, boy.

[Elena]

Just as in her other relationship, she didn't waste any time getting to his money.

[Ash]

Nope.

[Elena]

And also, like her previous relationships, it didn't take long before Alex started to notice some new health problems. This is so crazy. You're never gonna guess what he started feeling. It was dizzy. He started feeling dizzy throughout the day. He also felt weak and tired, and then he started falling over a lot.

[Ash]

Oh, no.

[Elena]

Now, at 73 years old, he wasn't in the best of health. He had diabetes, and he had some other health issues. So he was like, oh, like, you know, consequences of aging. These must just be new symptoms.

[Ash]

Yeah.

[Elena]

But within a few weeks, the problem started to get more and more serious, and Alex actually ended up in the hospital, just like in the other cases. Doctors couldn't figure out what was going on with him, though. But like Robert Friedrich, Alex's symptoms couldn't be explained by any of his known ailments. Like, these people obviously had things they were dealing with, like health. They're elderly or older, but they're. They're not aligning with the. Aligning with the things that they do have. So medical professionals were like this. What is this? Like, it doesn't indicate any specific illness or disease, and it doesn't have to. It doesn't correlate with anything you're dealing with. So the doctors weren't the only ones baffled by Alex's new symptoms. His son Dean also thought it was pretty strange that his father was experiencing such profound new symptoms out of nowhere with no explanation.

[Ash]

Yeah, but good kids watching out for their.

[Elena]

I know.

[Ash]

Their aged parents.

[Elena]

The real ones in this case are truly the kids. And here's the thing. Dean was willing to go a step further and just say, I suspect this is my dad's new girlfriend.

[Ash]

You Know what? Good for Dean.

[Elena]

He called her.

[Ash]

Like I got suspicions.

[Elena]

Yeah.

[Ash]

At least can we check into them? Good for him.

[Elena]

He said as soon as he got home, he would get real feeble and real sickly and was back in the hospital. It was something that was happening to him that wasn't natural. Less than two months. Think of that short period of time. Less than two months into his relationship with Melissa, his symptoms had become so severe that Melissa convinced him he needed to move into a long term care facility.

[Ash]

What the.

[Elena]

Meanwhile this guy like was, you know, dealing with some issues. He had like diabetes that he was managing, but he was managing his symptoms. He meets Melissa and now he has to sign up for a long term care facility. And honestly he's like not that old by any means. So from the moment Alex arrived at the nursing home, the staff thought there was something very strange about his relationship with Melissa. They knew that he had been divorced twice. But Melissa kept introducing herself as Mr. Tegos. And at the same time, Dean was more or less convinced that his father's illness was somehow being caused by Melissa. So he started pressuring the medical staff to test his father for drugs.

[Ash]

Oh, damn.

[Elena]

Alex.

[Ash]

Yeah.

[Elena]

Dean is doing it.

[Ash]

Dennis is getting it going.

[Elena]

Huh? Dean and Dean and Dennis.

[Ash]

Dean and Dennis.

[Elena]

Alex said, I was basically sprawled out flat in bed when she got my power of attorney. But I can thank my son for saving my life because the rest home discovered drugs in my system. And he and his girlfriend called the police.

[Ash]

Dean.

[Elena]

Dean and Dean's girlfriend.

[Ash]

Hell yeah.

[Elena]

So police in Florida immediately arrested Melissa and she was charged with multiple counts of endangerment and assault as well as three counts of grand theft from a person 65 years of age or older. Oh, and two counts of forgery.

[Ash]

I just feel bad too. Like, poor Alex. Like these poor guys who are thinking they're like getting another shot. Yeah. At love in a real, in just companionship. And then they end up being like so not cool.

[Elena]

Yeah. Like this, like, like the woman they find. Yeah.

[Ash]

Like she's, she's just not cool.

[Elena]

Also in like most of these cases, they give her a place to stay. Stay. They're like, oh my gosh, like you're down on your luck. You're welcome to stay with me. Like you said, opening up their home, it's like you just have to be really shitty if you're doing this to people.

[Ash]

Yeah. If, if you are actively drugging people to try to. Whatever you're trying to do to them. I mean, like, don't do that.

[Elena]

Definitely drugging people.

[Ash]

Not good.

[Elena]

Yeah. In fact, don't recommend it.

[Ash]

Blanket.

[Elena]

No, that's fair. That's a fair statement.

[Ash]

No, if you are drugging people.

[Elena]

Not cool.

[Ash]

Stop.

[Elena]

Cut it out.

[Ash]

That's what I say. But I just really feel bad for them. Yeah. Because this isn't the ultimate betrayal.

[Elena]

Yeah, absolutely.

[Ash]

And this is the ultimate. Like, your whole world comes crashing down. Like him getting tested in. And first of all, being put in a nursing home when he probably.

[Elena]

He said, I was sprawled out, she got his power of attorney under duress.

[Ash]

And then the staff tells you, hey, you have drugs in your system, that you haven't been.

[Elena]

That you're not somebody drugging you.

[Ash]

And then your son and their girlfriend is like, we have to call the police on your new girlfriend because she might have drugged you. Right. What?

[Elena]

Like, how do you find a beach

[Ash]

that would send you into orbit? But never mind. When you were in your twilight years, you're supposed to be vibing. And this is not what's supposed to be happening to you.

[Elena]

You are supposed to be vibing.

[Ash]

Let old people vibe, man.

[Elena]

20, 26. What was my old one? Call them out. 2020, was it? Called them out. 2020, yeah. Oh, what a year.

[Ash]

But you know what?

[Elena]

Let old people vibe.

[Ash]

Yeah.

[Elena]

Let all the. Only old people. And only the good ones. I was gonna say we're gonna workshop this. Let me.

[Ash]

Yeah, we gotta workshop that. Because there's a lot of old people that should never vibe again for the rest of their lives.

[Elena]

Wait. Let old people vibe. 20, 20, 26, *. And then we'll work on the

[Ash]

footnote. Yeah, then

[Elena]

we'll. We'll make a footnote for

[Ash]

that. Unless I need to show them these hands, which, you know, who you

[Elena]

are. That's part of the

[Ash]

footnote. Yeah, Mikey just added the part of the

[Elena]

footnote. It's

[Ash]

perfect. We all. We all workshopped that. That was a

[Elena]

brain. It was a live

[Ash]

workshop. It

[Elena]

was. We'll probably add more, in

[Ash]

fact. Thank you for coming to our live

[Elena]

workshop. Xoxo, the potluck. The morbid pot. So let's get back to this. Once the drugs had left his system, Alex. Alex was able, actually, to insist and assist in the investigation. Good for Alex. And that's when the pieces started to come together. He said, at night when I'd go to bed, she'd bring me a little dish of ice cream, maybe a couple teaspoons or something like that, and she'd bring it into the bedroom and she'd feed it to me. I guess that's where the drugs were. Then I'd go up to the bathroom and fall flat on my face to. With ice

[Ash]

cream. I was gonna say to use ice

[Elena]

cream.

[Ash]

Diabolical. Not to use ice cream, but to use my. My evening snack against

[Elena]

me. How dare you? How dare you. How very dare

[Ash]

you. I am finding the rage now. Yeah, there it is with my

[Elena]

evenings. Oh, she's getting red. Big red is

[Ash]

red. You with my evening

[Elena]

snack. It's on

[Ash]

site. How dare

[Elena]

you? On

[Ash]

site. That's diabolical. And not only that, she's feeding him like being like weirdly romantic and I can feed you your ice cream,

[Elena]

like if that's your thing. But like she was allegedly making it seem like she was a

[Ash]

caretaker. That's

[Elena]

sad. It is. It's up. You don't mess with ice cream like that now. So he, she, he just have some ice cream and then fall flat on his

[Ash]

face. He

[Elena]

says. And the two months, Remember this all happened over two months. And those two months that they

[Ash]

dated, that sounded so much

[Elena]

longer. I know that that took me a second to like read

[Ash]

this. 60 days,

[Elena]

right? Yeah, 60 days, give or

[Ash]

take. Within 60 days, this man was being moved into a long term care

[Elena]

facility. And within 60 days, Melissa had managed to steal nearly $20,000 from him. Holy shit. That was my annual salary at one point in my

[Ash]

life.

[Elena]

Insane. $20,000 in two months. Like,

[Ash]

hello.

[Elena]

Wow. So in March 2005, the prosecution offered Melissa employee deal in which she would plead guilty to the charges in exchange for a five year sentence. Wow. And she accepted. After learning of her guilty plea, Alex told a reporter, I think it's fair. Which is really sweet. Everybody's just like, you know what? Whatever a judge wants to do, as long as she stays away from me,

[Ash]

Cool. I think these dudes are literally just like, as long as I don't have to see her again, like, it's, it's. I don't care what

[Elena]

happens. I really hope that ice cream wasn't ruined for him. I know that's really

[Ash]

up. So

[Elena]

sad. Here's the thing. Despite having pleaded guilty to the charges and taking the police, Melissa did continue to maintain her innocence. From her jail cell in Florida. She said she flatly rejects the claims that she's a black widow and says the claims are unfounded. According to Melissa, she never tried to defraud anyone and had only been looking for love. She told the Kingston Wig Standard, I was only interested in a serious relationship and marriage. I was very specific about that. I wasn't trying to lure People to me, I was more or less looking for someone who had the same desires I had. And when a reporter from CBS asked Melissa in an interview, can you change? She said, I can't say that from now on, I'll be a perfect citizen, but I'm gonna try day by day to behave myself and do what I should have been doing all along. But I can't say that that is going to be the outcome of how my life will end. She really said, no

[Ash]

promises.

[Elena]

She. She's really out here just being like. She really said, don't ask a lot of

[Ash]

me. I cannot tell a lie. One thing about me not

[Elena]

lying. Yeah, she

[Ash]

can't. You know, I'm not gonna sit

[Elena]

here. She said, here's the thing. Nobody's perfect. You live and you learn it. She did, yeah, she totally did. I like

[Ash]

that. She was like, can't say that's how it's all gonna

[Elena]

end. She said,

[Ash]

idk. She said, stay tuned.

[Elena]

Peace. So Melissa returned to Nova Scotia after completing her sentence in 2010. And soon after, she met Fred Weeks. That started the cycle all over again. When asked about the case, Eric Hickey, director for forensic studies at Alliant International University, he described women like Melissa as an acute danger to society. He said, they see these men as simply objects, someone who can get them to where they need to go. They are black widows. They are quite calculating, and they are pretty good liars. And they've gotten more sophisticated. They used to use formaldehyde and arsenic to poison their victims, which we have covered many of those cases, and

[Ash]

there's plenty of, like, awful men in the world. Pick them. Why are you picking these nice

[Elena]

guys? Don't go after nice

[Ash]

guys. I mean, don't go after anyone. I'm kidding. You know I'm

[Elena]

kidding. Yeah, she's

[Ash]

joking. Don't take it seriously.

[Elena]

Seriously. Don't take it

[Ash]

seriously.

[Elena]

Seriously.

[Ash]

Seriously. But for real, like, why are you picking these, like, very kind, sweet men who are in these situations of, like, just looking and just kind of, like, being lost,

[Elena]

Lonely?

[Ash]

Yeah. That's really, like,

[Elena]

diabolical. I

[Ash]

know.

[Elena]

Yucky. I know. So on March 18, 2016, Melissa was released from prison after serving her sentence for poisoning Fred Weeks there. Alex Stratigos told a reporter, to tell you the truth, I was surprised. I don't think she should be out at all. She did it before, she'll do it

[Ash]

again. He's like, trust

[Elena]

me. He's like, hey, what's up? So Melissa's release did come with a number of conditions. Though including adherence to a curfew, no use of the Internet, and reporting any

[Ash]

remote. This is

[Elena]

crazy. Reporting any romantic relationships to the police. Imagine having to call up 911 and be like, guess what? I met a boy. It's

[Ash]

on. Like when you. When the. When the government is telling you like, you can't go on the Internet, you're grounded off the Internet. And you better tell your mother and I when you have a new boyfriend. Yeah. That things have gotten

[Elena]

wild. It's not going to be a hot girl summer if you have to report your romantic interest to 91 1. Here's the thing, though. One month later, in April, the 80 year old was arrested again in Halifax when she was discovered using the Internet in a local library. A direct violation. So she was brought back to court on a charge of violating the terms of her release. But the prosecutor did drop the charges. He said there wasn't a reasonable prospect of convicting Shepard. So now in her late 80s, it seems unlikely that Melissa poses much of a risk to anyone. But not everybody agrees. According to her latest victim, Fred Weeks, he said, I think she's a wicked woman. She's not safe with any man. And she'll do it

[Ash]

again.

[Elena]

Damn. And we're here to say, I hope she

[Ash]

doesn't. I hope she does

[Elena]

not. I hope that, you know, she, she. She completes the terms of her

[Ash]

release. Chill

[Elena]

out. Just get a

[Ash]

hobby. Just chill

[Elena]

out.

[Ash]

Yeah. That's literally all I can say. Chill the out, Melissa. I

[Elena]

know.

[Ash]

Allegedly. Chill

[Elena]

out. Stop

[Ash]

it. Stop it. Just like, have a. Have a

[Elena]

moment. Just call the

[Ash]

police. Take up a hobby like you said. Crochet. Yeah. Needle

[Elena]

points.

[Ash]

Sourdough.

[Elena]

Sourdough. That'll take up a lot of your

[Ash]

time. Oh. Miniatures. Little book nooks. Make a book nook, girl. Make a

[Elena]

book. Tough on the

[Ash]

eyes. It's gonna work. Those eyes, though. Keep

[Elena]

those. Keep that mind

[Ash]

going. Yeah. Put on some glasses. Okay. This is all stuff that will take up your time and keep you from. From getting into any

[Elena]

trouble. And it doesn't involve the Internet, which you can't be on,

[Ash]

babe.

[Elena]

Yeah. No

[Ash]

Internet. No Internet for

[Elena]

you.

[Ash]

Nope. And you know what? That's good because the Internet's gnarly. So, like, I want to stay off

[Elena]

it. You

[Ash]

should.

[Elena]

Damn. So, yeah, that is. That's the story that I had for you today. What a wild ride, eh? Holy. Oh, and it was from Canada. I didn't even do that on purpose. Do you have a fun fact for us or is it my

[Ash]

turn? I think it's Your

[Elena]

turn. Okay. Fun fact. That's also pretty morbid. Your brain is constantly eating

[Ash]

itself.

[Elena]

Delicious. The process is called phagocytosis, where cells envelop and consume smaller cells or molecules to remove them from the system. But don't worry, says 121 facts that will blow your mind on science forms. They say it's not harmful. It actually helps preserve your gray

[Ash]

matter. Oh, and you need that. So that's an interesting fact.

[Elena]

That's. It's like when I think too much about having a brain. Now I'm thinking about my brain being hungry. Hungry and snacking on

[Ash]

itself. Now you can kind of feel your

[Elena]

brain. I think I do want. No, stop. Ah. I hate

[Ash]

it. Not

[Elena]

sloshing. Why do you say

[Ash]

sloshing? I mean, it is kind of sloshing. Is it A little bit. I feel

[Elena]

like. Is it moving? Is that why I have a

[Ash]

headache? It's around when you get a concussion. It's because your brain slams against the side of your

[Elena]

skull. That I knew, but I. I thought that was, like, why you got concussed. Because it's, like, not supposed to move. Really? I need you to stop. I'm literally holding my skull together. Okay. We love you. We hope you keep listening, and we hope you keep it. But now it's so weird that you become too aware of your own brain sloshing, quote, unquote, around in your

[Ash]

head. Yeah,

[Elena]

don't. And don't say

[Ash]

weird. Yeah, you didn't say

[Elena]

weird. I didn't say

[Ash]

weird.

[Elena]

No.

[Ash]

Wait.

[Elena]

What? Oh, wait, what? And we hope you keep it weird. Wait, I feel like we did

[Ash]

head. Oh, that's

[Elena]

funny. Crazy. Well, I was too worried about my. Keep all of it in. I was too worried about my brain sloshing around in my

[Ash]

head. I

[Elena]

mean. Yeah, it's been a long day. All right,

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