EP 31 - Fame Almost Broke Us: What You Didn’t See on Reality TV

Summary

More Than Reality with Adam and Danielle Busby Episode 31: "Fame Almost Broke Us: What You Didn’t See on Reality TV" Release Date: May 1, 2025

In Episode 31 of "More Than Reality with Adam and Danielle Busby," titled "Fame Almost Broke Us: What You Didn’t See on Reality TV," the Busby family delves deep into the unseen struggles and challenges that accompanied their rise to fame. Moving beyond the polished portrayal of their lives on TLC's "OutDaughtered," Adam and Danielle offer an intimate look into the trials that nearly strained their marriage and family dynamics.

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1. Personal Updates and Community Involvement

The episode begins with Danielle sharing recent experiences, including attending a women's retreat sponsored by their church. (01:22) The retreat, held at a unique location like Margaritaville's Lake Conroe, provided a space for prayer, community bonding, and spiritual growth. Adam discusses his role on the women's ministry admin team, emphasizing the joy and fulfillment he found in organizing and participating in these retreats. (03:07)

2. The Strain of Reality TV and Public Scrutiny

Transitioning from personal updates, Adam and Danielle address the central theme of the episode: the impact of fame on their family and marriage. (25:58) They candidly discuss how being under the constant gaze of reality TV introduced unprecedented pressure. The couple reflects on societal skepticism, with many questioning whether their large family and public lifestyle were sustainable. (27:50) Adam states, “But the one thing that kept us solid was having Jesus in our hearts and knowing where our identity is.” (27:52)

3. Navigating Mental Health Challenges

Danielle opens up about her struggle with depression, a facet of their life that was not visible to the public. (38:09) She explains how the overwhelming responsibilities and constant public presence led her to seek solace in social media, which became both a lifeline and a source of further stress. The couple acknowledges the difficulty of maintaining mental health amidst the chaos of a growing family and the demands of reality TV.

4. Communication Breakdown and Love Languages

A significant portion of the conversation centers on the breakdown of communication between Adam and Danielle. (48:03) They explore how differing love languages and communication styles created distance in their marriage. Adam identifies as a "task doer," focusing on practical solutions like maintaining a family calendar, while Danielle often felt emotionally neglected. (48:14) Danielle shares, “We were speaking two completely different languages... the most polar opposite people I've ever met.” (48:27) This disconnect led to misunderstandings and heightened tensions, especially during stressful periods.

5. The Role of Faith in Sustaining Their Marriage

Despite the mounting challenges, Adam and Danielle credit their unwavering faith as the cornerstone that held their marriage together. (50:00) They emphasize that their relationship was a covenant with God, which provided resilience against external pressures. Danielle recounts her journey of surrendering personal struggles to God, saying, “I choose to not cling to those deep emotions... but cling to God and pray for His guidance.” (51:17) This spiritual foundation enabled them to navigate conflicts and rebuild their connection.

6. Overcoming Adversity and Rebuilding

The couple discusses the pivotal decision to take a break from their TV careers to prioritize their relationship and family. (49:38) This hiatus allowed them to seek marriage counseling, reconnect spiritually, and establish healthier communication patterns. They highlight the importance of mutual effort, patience, and understanding in overcoming marital strife. (54:35) Adam advises, “It's us against the problem, not us against each other,” underscoring the necessity of teamwork in resolving conflicts.

7. Advice and Insights for Listeners

Wrapping up the episode, Adam and Danielle offer heartfelt advice to listeners facing similar challenges. (58:44) They advocate for daily surrender to God, investing in marriages, and maintaining open communication. Danielle emphasizes, “Constantly remind yourself that it’s us fighting the problem together,” encouraging couples to view obstacles as joint battles rather than individual struggles.

Notable Quotes

• Adam Busby (27:52): “But the one thing that kept us solid was having Jesus in our hearts and knowing where our identity is.”
• Danielle Busby (48:27): “We were speaking two completely different languages... the most polar opposite people I've ever met.”
• Danielle Busby (51:17): “I choose to not cling to those deep emotions... but cling to God and pray for His guidance.”
• Adam Busby (54:35): “It's us against the problem, not us against each other.”

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Conclusion

Episode 31 of "More Than Reality" provides a raw and honest portrayal of the complexities that come with fame and a large family. Adam and Danielle Busby bravely share their vulnerabilities, illustrating how faith, communication, and mutual support have been pivotal in sustaining their marriage amidst the relentless pressures of reality TV. This episode serves as a testament to the strength of their bond and offers valuable lessons for listeners navigating their own familial and marital challenges.

Transcript

[Danielle Busby]

This is an ad by Regain Couples Therapy. Let's be honest, loving your partner doesn't mean you always like them. And guess what? That's normal. Regain, powered by BetterHelp, offers couples therapy that's flexible, affordable, and 100% online. Whether you're reconnecting or working through conflict, Regain is here to support you both. See why people wish they'd tried couples therapy sooner? Visit regain.com couplespod to get 10% off your first month. That's regain.com couplespod this is an ad by Regain CouplesPod Couples Therapy and features real testimonials. This was our first time trying therapy, and honestly, it was long overdue. Looking back, we just wish we had started sooner. Regain's qualified therapists help couples when they can't get there on their own. We thought it was intimacy issues, but.

[Adam Busby]

Andrea helped us uncover a deeper root.

[Danielle Busby]

Cause we hadn't even realized was there. Visit regain.com couplespod to get 10% off your first month. Regain couples Therapy. That works.

[Adam Busby]

This is More Than Reality podcast, where we dive into all things faith, family, and marriage and share that there is so much more than the reality that you see on the surface.

[Danielle Busby]

Welcome to More Than Reality with Adam and Danielle Busby.

What's up? Welcome to episode 31 of More Than Reality podcast with Adam and Danielle Busby. And today was. I mean, not just today, this past week. Give a little update for the week. So Daniel had.

[Adam Busby]

I don't even remember the week.

[Danielle Busby]

I know it's probably a blur for you. It's probably a blur for both of us. So, like, what, you left on Wednesday?

[Adam Busby]

Oh, yeah. I went to women's retreat.

[Danielle Busby]

Yeah. So there was like a women's, Like a spot. It was kind of like, sponsored by our church. There's a big women's retreat. But first, we want to thank one of the sponsors for our show today, which is Good Ranchers. And we're going to talk a little bit later in the episode about a new, exciting offer, which means a discount, an even bigger discount, and it actually involves a lifetime discount, which is crazy. I was actually shocked whenever I read it. I was like, wait, is that right? Yeah. Lifetime discount. So thank you good wrenchers for sponsoring this episode. Stay tuned later in the episode for the details. The big offer, but good ranchers is 100% American born, raised, harvested meat delivered to your door, all in the US which means tariff free. Yeah. And that's a big deal right now. To be tariff free. We have a.

[Adam Busby]

Don't be terrified of your meat. You can be tariff Free.

[Danielle Busby]

That's a good one. So thank you, Good Ranchers. You can go to good ranchers.com and then also good ranchers.com busby for the busby box. But now we're gonna get back to the episode. Good Ranchers, American Meat delivered.

[Adam Busby]

So I joined up on the women's admin team, and so kind of, like, helping with women's ministry things. That's where, like, my heart passion are, women's ministry. And so I jumped on board with helping out with some of the getaway retreat planning. So it's really good. It's really fun time. I went up a day before to kind of be with the team and get some stuff set up and just kind of have like, some time together to, like, pray together and just chat and kind of, like, look at the property and, like, look at everything and stuff. So it's really fun.

[Danielle Busby]

It was an interesting property, too. Compared to, like, past retreats.

[Adam Busby]

Yeah. Not. Yeah, I mean, it. What it was. It was at. So it was at Margaritaville, which seems.

[Danielle Busby]

Weird, but honestly, this women's retreat has grown so much every year that the place that they had it last year could not even support it anymore.

[Adam Busby]

And it's a place that they've been for years. And so we had to outsource to a different location. And so this place was great. And I know it sounds weird when you say, like, Margaritaville, but honestly, it was so good because I think the season of time, it was not, like, summer or, like, a holiday. It was just like a midweek into the week kind of, like, event. And so there was barely anybody there, like, elsewhere.

[Danielle Busby]

You don't go in there, like, in the middle of a week, but it was nice.

[Adam Busby]

I mean, they had, like, a lazy river. They had, like, pools. And just, like, for mom to, like, be out there. And, like, we were on a lake.

[Danielle Busby]

It was a water one.

[Adam Busby]

What do you mean? Of course there's a pool.

[Danielle Busby]

Was a water warm.

[Adam Busby]

Oh, I thought you said they had a. A water one. And I'm like, of course there's water there. So it's up on the lake. So Lake Conroe. Lake Conroe. Which had never been up there before, like, this far out. And so it's really pretty. Yeah. So there was, like, a lazy river. There was, like, a whole kid area. There was like another pool area. Hot tub. They had, like, pickleball courts because you know how to play pickleball. They had, like, putt. Putt. I mean, the rooms were great. The rooms were big. Like, every room was like had like a mini living room with the bed, with a bedroom and so.

[Danielle Busby]

So they're all kind of like suites.

[Adam Busby]

Yeah, in a sense. So I mean, I thought it worked out great. A little logistic. Things were different and you know, stepping into somewhere the first time. But I think we had, if not half the crowd, at least a third of the attendees were first timers, which is huge. This is why we had to go somewhere else.

[Danielle Busby]

And it shows how, like, how much the church is growing.

[Adam Busby]

Yeah, but it was really good. I mean, you know, I think a lot of us felt big for what was going to happen over those couple days at the retreat and just like seeing God move and heal and tear walls down for people. And so it, it was. And I, I love being involved in just being there for.

[Danielle Busby]

And you got to, you got to get up on stage and.

[Adam Busby]

I didn't get up on stage. I just got up in a mic.

[Danielle Busby]

Oh, you got up on a mic to share. Was there a stage?

[Adam Busby]

Well, not in the. It was like. It was a breakout session. I did one of the breakout sessions. So we did a breakout session on small version of like hope on like wondering. Going through a season of like experiencing where are you God? To then being fulfilled with things of maybe whatever season. Like, it's hard to explain. My story of hope is going through a season where I didn't know where God was and questioned and struggled and then overcame what my hope was for. And like, what was I looking forward to? What was the struggle in? So like infertility, growing a family, having quits like all that season of having family. And so I shared my testimony of like walking through trials to have a family and then to be blessed with more than I could ever imagined. It just fit into the breakout. It was just a breakout. There was like six breakouts one day. And so I was in one of the breakouts. But yeah, went really good. It was really funny. To have something to share within 10 minutes. Speech that's about your testimony is very, very hard.

[Danielle Busby]

When Danielle gets. Starts talking about her story, it usually takes more than 10 minutes.

[Adam Busby]

Too many details, huh? But so it was funny because I like just gave. I mean, I typed it up, I read through it and I'd read through it multiple times. I'm like, okay, it's five minutes. So 10 minutes I should be good. Ad lib.

[Danielle Busby]

When you told, when you told me you had to give your. Your whole story in 10 minutes, I was like, oh boy.

[Adam Busby]

I mean, it's not interesting. I mean it is interesting because it's God's story. But it is interesting. I feel like there's so much more emotion and stuff with more details. And like, the heart of it is it needs details.

[Danielle Busby]

Like, it took. It took more than an hour long podcast.

[Adam Busby]

But I just kind of did like a little snippet of like, who I was and then, like, got married, wanted a family. And then when I got to the part of talking about the quints, I had already been getting, like, tapped. Like, time's up, like, two minute warning. And then I got to the end and she's like, really gotta wrap it up. And I'm like, okay, one more second. Let me. Very good.

[Danielle Busby]

Did that time include people, like, asking you questions?

[Adam Busby]

No. So what's very funny is I kind of wrapped it up with just like a scripture of like, just encourage people and hope. Okay. With Isaiah. And so I'm walking, I'm like, get my computer and I walk off in the la and the crowd goes, wait, wait, wait, wait. But did you have the babies? And I was like, oh, yes, I did. See, the story was cut off too soon. I was like, I did have them. They're 10 years old and they're perfectly healthy. It was.

[Danielle Busby]

Golly, you did have to cut a lot off.

[Adam Busby]

I did.

[Danielle Busby]

So did you have the baby?

[Adam Busby]

But it was fun getting to hang around and be with our, like, community group and a couple other people added into the group for the, for the week. So, yeah, I mean, doing things like that builds your community tighter and it's more intimate and you get to know one another. And this was the first year that I went. This is my third year at this women's retreat with the church. And this was the first year I went with.

[Danielle Busby]

Because we've only been going to this church for about three years.

[Adam Busby]

Yeah, this is the only time I've gone with, like, knowing the people that I'm doing group with. Like, the first year I went with someone I knew, but we didn't really know each other. Last year I went with, I mean, my sister. And then, like, there were people I know there, but it's just very different. So the people I went with this time, we've been in community group and so, like, doing real, real realness together and stuff for at least, what, since August, So like, seven months or something. So it was fun to, like, step into, like, growing our bond deeper within that. So. And then I led one of the activities, which was pickleball, which was supposed to be Glow in the Dark pickleball, but it wasn't Glow in The dark, because the court lights were on and it was really bright. And then I couldn't play because I was sweating, and there was a lot of glare with the lights, but. But I was like, it's okay. I'm trying to run this pickleball thing, so everybody get your playtime in. But it was fun. Then right back left early Saturday to go straight to Darby's baby shower and then to a birthday party. And then we were supposed to go see Aaron Watson that night.

[Danielle Busby]

And I was like, I'm just excited we had to wake up. We wanted to go. Buddy of ours, Aaron Watson, he's a Texas country singer, and I text him early in the week and said, hey, we're gonna try to come. And just. Because normally he plays at, like, honky Tonks and, like, bars and stuff. Plays like, the whole Texas country.

[Adam Busby]

This was like some festival.

[Danielle Busby]

Yeah, it was like a. A beach festival. And I was like, oh, that's actually super cool because, like, this is like, an event that I can take the whole family and so, like, you can meet the kids and, like, see the kids and stuff like that. But I just started thinking about it and. And Ava and Parker had a. Oh, the volleyball tournament the next day, and we had church and everything. And typically, how concerts go, they say the concert starts at 8, 8pm and he's got an opener. And so usually it was Thai. Which concerts never start when they say they're gonna start? It's usually like an hour after. It's like, how do you do that? So concert starts at 8, and then it doesn't start till 9. And then usually the opener goes for 45 minutes to an hour. And then there's probably a 45 minutes to an hour break while they, like, swap out all the gear on stage. And then he's gonna go. So I'm like, man, he's probably not gonna start till, like, 10pm and that's gonna be a lot to, like, keep the kids up after they've been playing. And, like, they went to a skate party. You know, they're going to be exhausted.

[Adam Busby]

Roller skate.

[Danielle Busby]

Roller skating. And then knowing we got to be up early the next morning, I was like, man, it's just. I feel like that's going to be too much. And so we didn't do it.

[Adam Busby]

But it was a busy weekend, and I know that I was sad not to go to the little. What do they call. It was a beach party. Beach.

[Danielle Busby]

It was called, like, Sylvan. Sylvan Beach Festival or something.

[Adam Busby]

But it was packed. Um, it would have been fun.

[Danielle Busby]

I saw all the pictures and videos and there's a ton of people there.

[Adam Busby]

Yeah, tons of people. But, yeah, it's a busy weekend now. Back into.

[Danielle Busby]

It's funny because, like, the day I think we told the story about Hazel's glasses breaking and so literally the day Daniel leaves, kids get home from school.

[Adam Busby]

And one day we're gonna get those glasses fixed. But we fixed them and they. They were for a couple days in a week or so.

[Danielle Busby]

And then we. We like epoxy. Epoxied them back together over Easter break in Louisiana. And it was just like a. Just an epoxy that dad had in his garage, which I don't think it was like the best epoxy to use for that case because even whenever I was like taking it apart, it was still kind of almost like a really hard hot glue. I felt like it just wasn't going to hold up for a while. And then sure enough, like, Hazel came and grabbed me. It was like at 6:30, she's like, Dad, I forgot to tell you, I broke my glasses today at pe. I'm like, oh, goodness. And she like. But she was still wearing them. She takes them off and they're like duct taped, like around. Around the end. I was like, hey, so why didn't you tell me? I left earlier to go. To go run to the store to pick up food, to like cook or whatever. So I could have ran to the store and grabbed that. And so like, I just stop what I was doing, leave again and go get like a really strong epoxy and bring them home and like, mix it up and try to try to fix them. I knew they weren't going to be ready for the next day because they umpteenth time. They take like 24 hours to like, harden well.

[Adam Busby]

But those glasses, like, have like, warranty on them and like, I don't have to pay to get them fixed, but I can't give them the glasses without her having a pair of glasses. So I finally ordered a pair of glasses and I was like, oh, these are pretty cheap. I'm just gonna order two with these prescriptions so I can actually send hers off because she needs another pair to wear around and then like some sunglasses, like the sunglass ones.

[Danielle Busby]

But anyway, so I'm not a fan of the, like, the glasses she has right now. Did you get them with this?

[Adam Busby]

She loves the translucent.

[Danielle Busby]

I'm just not a fan of it. I mean, and it's convenient. She's got the transition lenses, but it sucks whenever we're, like, taking family photos.

[Adam Busby]

Yeah. So that's why I got another pair.

[Danielle Busby]

Because it just looks like Hazel's wearing sunglasses. It's like all of us are, like, looking at the camera smile, and Hazel's just over there in her sunglasses, like, hey, take that kid's sunglasses off. But she can't help it because it just automatically transitions in the light.

[Adam Busby]

Yeah. I got her a pair that's literally just like, just clear lenses. That way. It won't do that. The other ones will switch.

[Danielle Busby]

That's one. That's. I mean, photographer brain. Like, that's why I don't like transition lenses, because they can't do anything about it. The glasses just turn dark, and it just doesn't look good in a photo.

[Adam Busby]

All right, thanks to Cozy Earth for sponsoring this podcast. I'm gonna shout out to all you mamas out there and check out cozyearth.com for. For a great Mother's Day package delivered to your door. So when you think of moms, I think of someone who's caring, loving, resilient, exhausted, multitasking. And so mothering can look different across the board. I mean, some moms have helped shape their daughters and their families, and some women are moms themselves.

[Danielle Busby]

Or sons.

[Adam Busby]

Yeah, or moms. That's. Did I say kids?

[Danielle Busby]

You said daughters.

[Adam Busby]

Daughters. Well, this is a mom of daughters, so that's usually my language. But whether you're celebrating Mother's Day or just a loved one, moms deserve the best. Amen. Can I get an amen? Amen. Okay.

[Danielle Busby]

I enjoy cozier sheets.

[Adam Busby]

Well, we're talking about moms right now, so Mother's Day is coming. And go to cozyearth.com use code more than. And get 40% off those cozy sheets. And let me tell you, from one hectic mom to another, I love me some cozy time, some relaxing comfort in my. Comfort in my bed. And I will tell you, as a mom who has been stepped into her 40s, been struggling with a lot of health and hormone things, when we finally slept on our cozy Earth sheets that are impeccable.

[Danielle Busby]

This is an ad by Regain Couples Therapy and features real testimonials. This was our first time trying therapy, and honestly, it was long overdue. Looking back, we just wish we had started sooner. Regains qualified therapists help couples when they can't get there on their own. We thought it was intimacy issues, but.

[Adam Busby]

Andrea helped us uncover a deeper root.

[Danielle Busby]

Cause we hadn't even realized was there. Visit regain.com couplespod to get 10% off your first month couples therapy that works. This is an ad by Regain Couples Therapy. Let's be honest. Loving your partner doesn't mean you always like them. And guess what? That's normal. Regain, powered by BetterHelp, offers couples therapy that's flexible, affordable, and 100% online, whether you're reconnecting or working through conflict, regardless, Regain is here to support you both. See why people wish they'd tried couples therapy sooner? Visit regain.com couplespod to get 10% off your first month. That's regain.com couplespod is that the right word?

I would just say they're very soft and cool.

[Adam Busby]

They're warm, but very cooling. And that's what I was getting at.

[Danielle Busby]

It's the weirdest feeling, like, whenever you first get into it, like, you get into bed and it's just cool.

[Adam Busby]

I'm like, but it was so.

[Danielle Busby]

And to have that cool feeling, but then you have, like, the heavy, the heaviness of the comforter on you.

[Adam Busby]

But that's what's special about these shoes, is that they're not cold. Like, they stay cool, but they keep you cool.

[Danielle Busby]

Yeah.

[Adam Busby]

Okay. So they're incredibly soft and then. But they feel, like cold and silky. Right. So I will. I will vouch for the mom who's going through all the hormones in her 40s and wake up with those midnight sweatshirts. And I will tell you, since I've slept in these cozy air sheets, not once, not once have I woken up sweating. That is a miracle over the last year.

[Danielle Busby]

And the pajamas are pretty awesome, too, in the pajamas.

[Adam Busby]

So I think all you mom and women and heck men out there, go to cozyearth.com, check out with code more than 40% off your purchase. Get your wife, your mom, your family, yourself, some sheets for the.

[Danielle Busby]

For the perfect Mother's Day present.

[Adam Busby]

PG's, PJ's.

[Danielle Busby]

Yep.

[Adam Busby]

Yes. So perfect Mother's Day present. And I'm a mom, and I know.

[Danielle Busby]

So thank you, Cozy Earth, for sponsoring this podcast. And now we'll get back to the conversation.

[Adam Busby]

Moms deserve the best. Don't forget. All right, so what are we talking about today?

[Danielle Busby]

So today we're going to be talking about. It's kind of. We're going to kind of be taking, like, a little trip down memory lane and just talk about, like, how God has shaped us through probably the toughest seasons of our lives. And, like, what we learned through it, what we learned about ourselves through that season of just coming through things that we've never been exposed to and never knew before that season. And you know, how it, how it affected us then, how. How it had affected us personally, our marriage, our family. And then, you know, how we kind of how we overcame those situations and, you know, and allowed God to like, shape us through that to like where we are right now.

[Adam Busby]

I mean, if we jump back like before, like public life and quints, I would say that the season of just like feeling normal.

[Danielle Busby]

Just like this normal, normal people.

[Adam Busby]

Normal people that didn't drive a bus and, you know, had six kids, whatever. Anyway, the normal average family, first little three bedroom home, you know, have a daughter, have the two dogs, have a house and spirituality. Like both careers. Our faith was like strongest it had ever been. Going through the trial of like trying to have Blake is where it kind of all like really got to its height.

[Danielle Busby]

Yeah, I feel like that that was like one of those pivotal moments in our life that like drew us near to our faith through. Through the, through the trying times of infertility when we were trying to have Blake. That's what that taught us a lot about just faith and, you know, God's timing on things. And, you know, life doesn't really necessarily always go how you just envision it in your head of like, oh, we're going to do this and we're going to get married and we're. And we're gonna have kids and. And then all of a sudden, like once disappointment hits, it really like kind of, it tests you and shows you like, who you really are, you know.

[Adam Busby]

And I think that through that season, it like built us stronger, you know, as we look back and then, you know, we're blessed with having Blake and then the journey and desire to, you know, ask for another child from God and be like, hey, we, we want more. Like, can we do that? Can we ask for that and then speed that up. I think between the time we had Blake until, you know, finding out we were pregnant with the quince was. We were still very strong in our faith as far as, you know, what we were doing, as far as, you know, church involvement and ministry and just our surroundings of people in our life. We were good and just even healthy, physical wise. That was the best shape after I had like that. I will always say that was the best shape I've ever been in. And I think, and I know as I look back, I say that was intentional, like God intentionally placed us in that season and we had desires and stuff for that so that my body, I feel, could go for what was being prepared for, you know. Yeah.

[Danielle Busby]

And I think it kind of goes along with, like, the topic of last week's podcast is just, like, you know, just taking that next step and getting to, like, that next level in the spiral. Kind of quoting a book from Levi Lusko about blessed are the spiraling. And so, like, you know, us having Blake, it kind of, like, got us to that next level of, like, our faith and stuff. But I think there, through that time, like, there was still so much that God wanted to show us.

[Adam Busby]

Yeah.

[Danielle Busby]

You know, and so you. You know, you get through that season, you're like, oh, yeah, like, we're good. And God's just, like, showing like, no, I want to show you just how much you need me and you're gonna.

[Adam Busby]

How much more you need me.

[Danielle Busby]

Yeah, yeah. And how much you should be depending on me and stuff.

[Adam Busby]

And, like, because I think whenever you're at the height of where you feel you are spiritually sound and strong, there's still more. There's still more that God can do. There's still more that he can do to amaze you in your life, and it's never ending. And so, you know, saying, like, we were. We were. We were healthy, physical and sound, spiritual mind. And then going up and then saying, okay, we want another. You know, we want to pray about expanding our family and having another child and a sibling. For Blake to find out you're pregnant with quintuplets, you're like, whoa, this is definitely a test of our faith, too, because it's another level. And this is something we know we can't do on our own, and we can't do without God.

[Danielle Busby]

And then, you know, obviously, you know, the story of us going through just all the trials and everything surrounding just Daniel getting through the pregnancy and, you know, all the things that the doctors were saying to us about, you know, reduction and all those things, well, you know, finally culminated to, here we are, you know, now we're. We're home with this family of eight now, and, you know, reality TV starts, you know, and there is so much.

[Adam Busby]

You know, we're so much change.

[Danielle Busby]

We were so naive, really, you know, because it was. I mean, how do. I mean, there's nothing that you can really do to prepare you for reality TV life.

[Adam Busby]

Yes, that is true. But also prepare you for LA TV life, prepare you for quintuplets, prepare you for everything in your life change. Like, everything was all at one time. And so if you look at the statistics of the world would say we should have failed multiple times in what keeping up as a family of structure and health and appointments and all that and just like the health and well being of the family. And we should have not been here today in our marriage. We should have let the world of entertainment destroy everything because that's what happens, right? That's what happens. And so that question that we get asked all the time is that or statements still to this day get made and people have their own judgment and whatnot. But you know, this is going to rip y' all apart. This is going to tear you apart. Like we, we know, we know that is what the world says. But the one thing that we feel like we had very differently and maybe not different than everybody in reality tv, but we felt very strong about. But we have Jesus in our hearts and like we know where our identity is like found and like that's what keeps us solid. Doesn't mean it was easy. Doesn't mean that we didn't have fights and arguments and trials. And that's something that we're going to talk about today. But like knowing that no matter what, like that was the core of it all. It kept everything together, even in the not want to be held together, even.

[Danielle Busby]

In, you know, just like this pressure cooker of. And there was good and bad that came from that. I mean like, good as far as it brought so many like opportunities for our family whenever we were just like, how are we going to do this and stuff. And you know, it allowed to give a little bit of like breathing room. So for us to like figure life out. But then also, you know, on the other side of it, you know, it's just non stop people around in your face always feeling like you're on and that, that's like twofold. And it's good and bad. I mean, you always feel like you're on, which is kind of exhausting. But then also like, what's funny if.

[Adam Busby]

I think about what, what, what little, what little has, you know, for 10 seasons, the little bit of our life.

[Danielle Busby]

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[Adam Busby]

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[Danielle Busby]

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[Adam Busby]

I mean a lot of our life was captured, but a little bit is shown, right? And so that's where that dynamic of like, you're under a microscope, but it's really only subjective to like what is wanting to be put under the microscope.

[Danielle Busby]

Yeah, but that's also, I mean, what's.

[Adam Busby]

Going to draw attention, what's going to draw in viewers, what's going to draw.

[Danielle Busby]

In this caricature of your life that's under a microscope. But people don't really know that. People don't really see the full picture. They don't really see everything. And, but then that's what you're being judged and critiqued and you know, your life is based off of is like this little bitty snippet, snippet, snippet of what people are allowed to see on tv. And also, you know, that's the whole reason why, you know, here we are 10 years later and we decided to do this podcast because I feel like there's so many gaps and holes in, in our story and our journey that like, you guys never got to see and you never really got to understand the full picture or the real or the full picture of like who we are in our life. Because over the course of, you know, say, to film one episode of TV, it takes about 10 days roughly that you get to see what 10, 12, 44, 12 hour days of filming condensed into about 40 minutes on TV. And, and so, you know, then they're just like picking things and you know, so they show you what they want you to see based off of, you know, entertainment value and stuff like that. What's going to be the most entertaining, what's going to be the most like, dramatic? What, you know, all this stuff and you know, and that was good or good and bad, but it wasn't the full picture. Yeah, you know, and so, but then, you know, you're under this microscope and just life based off of this one little aspect of your life and nobody.

[Adam Busby]

Understands sometimes that aspect that got shown, you're like, what? Like, oh really? That's what, that's what we're gonna dictate.

[Danielle Busby]

Or Pick on, you know, and, and, and that comes into play whenever you're just, you know, here we are, we're naive, we don't understand it. You know, we've shared and we tried to share and portray like the good and the bad on our TV show. It wasn't always, you know, I feel like it was, it was shown good and bad. Yes. But, you know, we didn't understand the scope and the gravity of just life in the public eye also. And, and it was all the while all these changes are being, are happening in our personal life, in our home. And, and so you're, you know, all these changes are happening, all these changes are being made while you're, you know, under this microscope. All right, so we're going to take a little break for our sponsor which is Good Ranchers. And you know, with everything going on, with all of the tariffs and price uncertainty and stuff like that, I mean, a lot, it's gotten a lot of people kind of stressed out about like, what's it going to do to, you know, their grocery bill really, and pretty much everything else. But with good [e-mail], your food, your beef, your meat is tariff proof because of their 100% USA supply chain. And that gives us peace of mind that, you know, you don't have to worry about what the prices are going to be as long as you, you know, you, you order your from Good Ranchers and lock in your subscription. We're also offering a $40 off of your subscription plus free meat for life as long as you keep your subscription.

[Adam Busby]

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[Danielle Busby]

Yeah, so use the code busbee at [e-mail] and you get $40 off plus free meat for life as long as you have your subscription active. And so that's your choice of bacon, ground beef, wild caught salmon or seed oil free chicken nuggets. I mean just with, with everything going on, I mean, Good Ranchers is a solid choice. Everything is born, raised, harvested, all in the US they have absolute impeccable customer service. And I should know because I'm in the office every week and I actually meet those people and get to interact with them and they're all just a joy to deal with. And it's cool just walking around the office and hearing the conversations that people are having from customers on the phone and they just get raving reviews from our customer service at Good Ranchers because you're going to get somebody, an actual live person from the US actually right here in Houston and on the line. And they will do everything that they can to make everything right. If you have, you know, a shipping issue or FedEx, there's like weather issue and there's a delay in shipment which causes an order to thaw or anything like that. They'll make it right. And you know that gives you peace of mind that you can deal with an American company that's going to make things right that supports American farms and ranches. And so you can go to goodranchers.com or what else can you go for?

[Adam Busby]

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[Danielle Busby]

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[Adam Busby]

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[Danielle Busby]

All right, so had to go shut the door because the kids just got home from school. But you know, so we're under this microscope but also like all these other things are changing in our life. I'm working full time, Danielle's not working anymore. There's a TV crew pretty much full time in our house. And you know, here the TV show has kind of taken this life of its own. And you Know, we're seeing it as, oh, you know, this isn't just, oh, we have a TV show and, like, stuff's happening, you know, and capturing our life. But also, like, this is now, like, this is now a business. And, you know, whenever you start thinking about social media and YouTube stuff and, like, all these other facets of just, like, life and business, while I'm working full time, starting to go through, like, this season of male postpartum depression and just, like, having all these, like, feelings of just being burnt out and tired and, like, lethargic and, you know, through that time, whenever I was going through the season of depression, you know, you. You later learn, you know, things in your life that are escapes, things that, like, you will run to for, like, a cheap high or whatever. And so, like, one of those things became like, just, like, social media and attention just because it was like this cheap high. And I didn't know what to do with it. Like, I didn't, like, all of a sudden, like, everything's just been thrown at you, you know, and so you just. You kind of run to the thing that, like, oh, like, all these people are like, love us and all these things. And so, like. And you just kind of, like, grab onto that and it affects you in this weird way. And, you know, and it sent me down, like, this road that didn't know quite how to handle, you know, Would you say I'm, like, kind of explaining.

[Adam Busby]

Yeah, I hated this atom. Yeah, I hated that atom. Well, hate's a little strong word. We. It. It brought. And this is where. This is where like, that reality of reality comes in, and you see the power of what quote, unquote, fame can do to something or someone in her family or, like, whatever. Because there were days that I remember just being like, dude, like, that. That is. That has become, like, your priority.

[Danielle Busby]

Yeah.

[Adam Busby]

In a sense. And, like, that is what you're filling your time with. And we all know whatever you put your time in is where your heart is.

[Danielle Busby]

Yeah.

[Adam Busby]

You know, and it was a. It was like a false. False identity.

[Danielle Busby]

It was like an idol.

[Adam Busby]

Idol.

[Danielle Busby]

Yeah. When you look at, you idolize the Bible and like, anything that comes before, like, you and your faith and God and. And stuff like that, and it's like an idol in your life. And it's just something that, you know, I feel like the devil was, like, using against our family because, you know, I was weak in this. In this season of my life. I was weak.

[Adam Busby]

Oh, and he will stomp on that.

[Danielle Busby]

Because, you know, here I am going through, like, all these, like, weird emotions that I've never felt before, just feeling down and depressed. But then, you know, you look to social media and all of a sudden it's like, oh, like, you know, I love you guys. And, you know, all these, like, people singing your praises. Good. I mean, good and bad, too, because like, even, like, the negative stuff would put you in, like, a really negative headspace, but because you didn't know how to deal with that yet, obviously it still, it still bothers me every now and then. But, you know, you. You learn to. Especially being in the public eye and, like, being a public figure, like on social media and stuff, you just learn to, like, let stuff roll off of you and. Because there's always negative people out there. Being that early on in our careers on reality TVs, you know, you just don't understand that. You don't. You don't know what that's like until you're faced with it. And, you know, so here I am going through this season of depression and then just trying to find anything out there that's gonna, like, make me feel a little bit better. And so then you just start pouring your time into whatever it may be. But I was working, you know, full time on television, full time in my career, and, you know, at home with our family and, you know, so all these changes were happening in my life and I wasn't. I wasn't juggling any of it well. And, you know, and it became. It came in between our relationship, it came between our family and, you know, and I think, like, later on, like, seasons down the road in our TV show.

[Adam Busby]

Well, I think a lot of. I think. I think in that season too, there's this narrative that we tell ourselves, I think, where the enemy, like, really wants to take over and start to tell you, like, this is what you need to do. This is where you're going to find joy. This is where you're going to find happiness. And. And it distracts you from. From the true. The true desires of your heart. Right?

[Danielle Busby]

Yeah. Because I was out in that season. Like, I was. I was struggling to find my identity. Like, I felt like after having the quince, I completely lost my identity. Like, everything in the world started revolving around, man, we're just trying to keep these babies alive and, and keep food on our table and all this other stuff. And, like, I felt like the person that I was before the miraculous surprise of the quince, it was a completely different person. And I. And I had, in a sense, like, lost my identity. So, like, I'm running to anything that gives me some sense of, like, fulfillment and, like, makes me feel a little bit better because I'd kind of lost that. And so, like, I'm just grabbing to whatever and. And usually it's like, the easiest thing, you know, at the time. It's just, like, cheap highs and, you know. Yeah.

[Adam Busby]

So it was a very. I think when I look back at that season of life, I would say that I don't remember a lot of it. And you, as someone who is involved with all these things in your life and the drastic change of life. I, too, had a lot of change in life, but I couldn't. I didn't have the. The. I guess because I was always home. And you in the beginning, like, you would leave and trying to keep up with things, but wanting to be helpful at home and, like. And I never left the home place, so it was very hard for me to think outside of.

[Danielle Busby]

Yeah.

[Adam Busby]

Outside of this.

[Danielle Busby]

And I felt like every single thing that I was having to keep on my plate was, like, everything outside of me, and I couldn't juggle it all. And, like, I wasn't doing anything well. And I was just, like. I felt like. And it kind of put me in even more of a dark space because I was. I felt like every single thing that I was trying to keep afloat going in our life, like, I was failing at and. But yet you couldn't stop. It's like you're on this hamster wheel, and it just. It's not going to stop turning. And so you just got to keep feeding the beast. And, you know, ultimately it culminated in us taking a break from the show and, like, walking away from that for close to three years. Right.

[Adam Busby]

I think it was a mix of.

[Danielle Busby]

I mean, it was a mix of a lot of things.

[Adam Busby]

Like I said, you were coming. Going through that season of, like, depression and coming out of it and all that, and then probably a year of, like, praying on, like, what's. What do we need to do for our family?

[Danielle Busby]

Like, how do we make a change?

[Adam Busby]

And how do we make a change? And then we walk through that and.

[Danielle Busby]

Then what you're doing at the time just wasn't working.

[Adam Busby]

Yeah. And you stepped away from your career, which was a huge test of faith, too, with a little bit more security around, you know, insurance and constant paycheck and a lot of things. So then speed up and, you know, Covid happening and, you know, the weight before COVID I would say those. Those years of, like, marriage were really. Were really challenging. You Know, and. And if I look back and like put myself in where we were, I mean, anybody will look at it and say, like, oh my God, how did you overcome that? How did you do that? How did that. In the moment, it was. I didn't feel that way. I didn't feel like that in the moment because that, because my waking breath was babies, babies, babies. And there wasn't a lot of Adam, Danielle, wife, husband, that kind of thing. But it was a season. But we did very much still try as best as we could always. And I feel like we've always tried this even when we didn't want to. Was making time for any aspect. Even in times of like fight, it was like we always still have to talk and you know, and so it wasn't like we were like distant, distant, but there was a broken distance in between. You know, there was like this really deep valley that we were having to like trying to meet each other in. Which caused for your personality and your love language, you to struggle more than I did because I am like a task doer.

[Danielle Busby]

And.

[Adam Busby]

And so I'm constantly like fulfilling those things all day just in a different way.

[Danielle Busby]

Just keeping busy, just keeping busy, you know. And so with me, like, I see that as distance, which makes me like even go deeper into like a hole.

[Adam Busby]

Yeah. And I'm like, what, you want me to stop and just sit here? Like, no.

[Danielle Busby]

Yeah.

[Adam Busby]

So it's like, once again, we've talked about this before. Like our love languages and communication, those are very opposite.

[Danielle Busby]

So we were speaking two completely different languages at the time. And like, we were just. I mean, we. Through like marriage counseling, we're still trying.

[Adam Busby]

To figure out how our languages work together still. So just it's 19 years, you know.

[Danielle Busby]

And just speaking through and talking to different marriage counselors and stuff. We were never, even whenever we would communicate, we're just like, like, just not. It's not connecting. Like the way.

[Adam Busby]

Even when it's not a hard topic.

[Danielle Busby]

The way that we. Yeah. About anything.

[Adam Busby]

To try to answer my question, I'm like.

[Danielle Busby]

Because we just.

[Adam Busby]

I didn't hear it that way.

[Danielle Busby]

I don't know. So many marriage counselors, they were just like, you two are the most polar opposite people I've ever met. Like, every person that we sat down with, they're like, wow, you guys could not be any more different.

[Adam Busby]

So if there is some encouragement here, it's coming from two of the most opposite communicated an opposite love language. Walking through drastic changes of your life.

[Danielle Busby]

The biggest pressure cooker you can go through.

[Adam Busby]

Yeah. And we're still here.

[Danielle Busby]

And we're still here. And, you know, so, you know, it took us, you know, taking a break and just, like, walking away from TV and just trying to figure out life, reconnect, get to know each other.

[Adam Busby]

Yeah.

[Danielle Busby]

And then just dive, you know, we. We started going to a new church. We, you know, and just kind of uprooted so much in our life so that we could navigate this change of, like, okay, we're not. Things aren't how we want them to be. And. And I think God figure it out.

[Adam Busby]

I think God was. Has been there throughout all this, all. All along, because when we started our marriage, we started our marriage as a covenant with God. And so I think even on days which. Let's just be honest, I think every marriage goes through days where, like, dude, I just don't like you today. Like, yes, we still love each other, but, like, I don't like you. I don't like you, and I'm gonna be mad at you, and I'm upset with this. I'm upset with that. So I think even on the hardest of horrors, where it's gotten. Where it's like, I'm just. I just want to be done. I just want to be done. I'm over this. There's always this conviction. There's always has been this conviction in my heart, like, but God's desire is not this. So how do we get back on track? How do we get back on track? And he's been holding it together. And I think that's what's different, is that our marriage isn't just held together by Adam and I. Our marriage is held together because we keep clinging on to God.

[Danielle Busby]

Yeah. Because if it was just us, we would have. Would have crumbled a long time ago.

[Adam Busby]

Long time ago.

[Danielle Busby]

Like, God has been so faithful in our marriage and just. Just continuing to just, like, come running to us and draw us in and. And bring people. And really, it's been bringing people into.

[Adam Busby]

Our life, blessing us with people.

[Danielle Busby]

It would pray over us and speak into us and give us, you know, godly wise counsel, you know, through. Through just tough times and just to give us insight about marriage and parenting and just navigating relationship and stuff and, like, how we communicate and.

[Adam Busby]

And I remember going through a season of just, like, being so far, like, feeling, you know, feeling, like, unimportant to, you know, Adam's. Like, I wasn't an important factor to him. And I just remember, like, God always was there reminding us with tiny little, like, windows of, like, oh yeah, oh yeah, that and that. But also praying for like God, you know, remind me, remind me, remind me, show me, show me, make evident to me, make evidence me, make those desires stronger. Like, pull like, like I, I went through a long time of like praying for that to be like, I'm so distant, but I know this is not what I want, not what he wants for us. So I'm praying specifically for those things. Give me desires to want xyz. Give me those desires to want to go hang out with him or sit next to him because I'm mad at him, you know, and that's real. Like, that's real. And I, and I know I'm not the only wife who's ever felt like that. I just have chosen to not cling on to those deep emotions of it's all about me, me, me and clinging to God and saying, but Lord, change me, make my, make these desires yours desires. And like, help me see what you see and bring me back on that journey. And it doesn't mean it came quick. It doesn't mean it, it came the next day or the next hour. It can. But that's what has kept it still here in the trials and the journey that we've been on. And you know, the, the pressure cooker, like wants to pop and blow often out of 20 years of being together, 20 plus years being together and the pressures we've been under, like it's wanted to explode quite a bit. And you just got to bring down your selfishness, offer grace, ask for patience and pray for patience and everything that you desire from your spouse that you want for him to do for you or you like vice versa. Those two are the things that you need to be doing for the other person. So talk nicer to me, act this way. I too need to do that. I too need to be what I'm.

[Danielle Busby]

Wanting, I guess, you know, understand, you know, your relationship as, you know, constantly reminding yourself of. I'm not fighting her right now. Like it's us fighting whatever this problem is or whatever this feeling is. Like we should be fighting it together.

[Adam Busby]

Yeah.

[Danielle Busby]

Because it's, it's combating against us, like seeing us as one and rendering daily and. Yeah, and it's just, it's a daily, it's a daily reminder, a daily fight. Whenever you just want to get short or you assume a lot on just like in communication, like us, like on stuff that you do all the time, but you just leave to assumption and you don't communicate things well. And so, you know, always to get back to the root of, okay, what's, what's the real problem here? What's this underlying problem? How do we, how do we combat this? How do we fight this together? Because.

[Adam Busby]

And then taking action upon that. So, and I think taking action upon. Whenever you say, okay, it's not me against you, it's us against the problem and come together. But then for a prime example to show you is that communication style is different. I'm a schedule detailer. Adams, like, won't write a thing down. So on episodes of the show, you would see us talk about like, calendar, shared calendar, put it on the calendar. Put on the calendar. That's something Adam was not good at, but something that I, like, run by a calendar. And so if, if one action is going to make it better for the family, whoever has the harder time with it has to deny themselves and do it because it's going to help the family. So it's harder still for this day to Adam to like, be like, calendar, calendar. And I'm like, it needs to go on the calendar. Because you might remember it and you might schedule something that I'm not involved in. But we also have six other people in the house that are also needing utilization of our calendar. And so sometimes we get like, single minded when we have to look at family minded. And so even, even at times where it's like something that might be harder for me to do, I have to be like, oh, my God, yes. But this is going to make it easier for everybody else in the house. Not just. It's annoying for me to do this.

[Danielle Busby]

So big thing is having a family calendar. But also be mindful, because what happens to me a lot is because I deal with like, multiple other companies and multiple other groups of people that like, invite me to meetings or zoom calls or, or I've got stuff going on and they'll send me a calendar invite and I'll respond to it and it'll go on my calendar. But she doesn't see it. And so, like, but I just look at my phone and it's on the calendar.

[Adam Busby]

That's why I want that big calendar thing. It's going to join all the, all the work calendars.

[Danielle Busby]

I noticed that today. Like, I had like a couple of things this week and they're on my calendar.

[Adam Busby]

I'm going to keep it in your office.

[Danielle Busby]

But they're the wrong color. Like, yellow is our family color and.

[Adam Busby]

There'S purple on mine.

[Danielle Busby]

And they're. Oh, really? Yeah.

[Adam Busby]

That's why it's wrong. It should Be purple.

[Danielle Busby]

And so. So I just look at it. I'm like, oh, it's on my calendar. But she doesn't see it. So you assume. Back to assumptions. You assume that one thing is one way, and then you're just not communicating fully.

[Adam Busby]

And I think a lot. I think a lot of this is a. Dynamics of a. Of a couple working together and entrepreneurs and. And we're not back on the day where, like, Adam would leave for work and I wasn't involved with the refinery petrochemical world. Like, that was work for the days. But now we do a lot of things that cross paths and everything. So we have to be con. Like joined on the calendar. So that is something that is.

[Danielle Busby]

That's. That's hard for couples that work together or work from the home together because, like.

[Adam Busby]

Because not every couple can relate to this because, like, I'm a teacher and he's a lawyer. Well, I wouldn't say your working calendars need to be the same because you go to school from seven to five, like, whatever, you know. But advice from us is working together. Families and entrepreneurs and husbands and wives that work together. That is something we're talking about.

[Danielle Busby]

So better communication on just life.

[Adam Busby]

Yeah, I think to kind of like.

[Danielle Busby]

Close this podcast out because we keep going and. But I know this podcast is long.

[Adam Busby]

Yeah, but just kind of close it out. I mean, something I think that just some encouragement for the listeners is that an advice that we give is just like, surrender. Surrender daily is, you know, whenever you have an issue or a struggle or whatever, like, you just almost need to slap yourself in the face and say, like, okay, God, show me what I did wrong, or tell me how I need to overcome this, or walk through this trusting God. Even when it's hard, even when you don't know the outcome, you know, I think that people walk through seasons, and seasons are beneficial. And the hards are going to test you to help you persevere and help you, like, build endurance for the next season to come, you know, and so don't waste those seasons. Those seasons are building you up for what is to come. Invest in your marriage, communicate, date, have fun together, go away together, have family time, invest in your family. But more so invest in your marriage. Because that sets the platform of like, how are you raising your family? And your kids see that your kids see what is evident to them and can see the relationship between mom and dad is going to build security in them. And it's not just by words. It's by actions and how you live. So, yeah, Proverbs 3, 5, 6. Trust in the Lord with all your heart and do not lean on your own understandings because your own this isn't in there, but your own understandings will most often fail you.

[Danielle Busby]

Yeah.

[Adam Busby]

So hope this episode was encouraging and you got to hear a little bit deeper part of our more than reality hearts. So thanks for listening.

[Danielle Busby]

Yep. And we'll see you in the next one.

[Adam Busby]

Thanks, guys.

[Danielle Busby]

All right. Love you.

[Adam Busby]

It.