EP 59 - The Truth OutDaughtered Never Showed About Our Marriage

Summary

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Podcast Summary: More Than Reality with Adam and Danielle – EP 59

Title: The Truth OutDaughtered Never Showed About Our Marriage
Date: November 20, 2025
Hosts: Adam and Danielle Busby

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Episode Overview

In this deeply personal episode, Adam and Danielle Busby—a couple widely known from TLC’s OutDaughtered—pull back the curtain on several aspects of their marriage and family life that were never shown on TV. They share honest stories about the exhaustion and challenges of parenting six daughters (including America’s only all-girl quintuplets), the realities of reality TV production, and how they navigated their relationship both on and off-camera. The couple opens up about the misconception of fame, the limits of TV in capturing real life, and key strategies that have helped their marriage endure through public and private struggles.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

Life Off Screen: Chaos, Exhaustion, and Real Marriage

• Life in Transition:
  The Busbys talk about still living in their rental house, the disorganization of moving, and how even simple tasks (finding stomach medicine for the kids) become chaotic with a big family.
  Adam (03:36): "Like, all of our medicine and stuff ... is just in a cardboard box under the stairs right now."
• The Daily Grind:
  Danielle voices her frustration about the endless cycle of chores, cleaning, and the feeling of not making a dent.
  Danielle (07:45): "And then there's two other laundry baskets full of clothes that doesn't look like I did absolutely anything today. And this makes me want to go back to work."
• Parenting Never Rests:
  Adam mentions how even after long filming days, the work of being a parent doesn’t end.
  Adam (29:45): "Yeah, the TV work ends, but then, you know ... [the] parent still gotta get bathed, get fed, go to bed..."

Fame & Reality TV Misconceptions

• Relatability vs. Reality:
  The couple emphasizes that what fans see is a tiny, curated fraction of their life—often less than 1%. Adam (16:49): "For one thing, that was like less than 1% of our life back even whenever we were filming."
• Assumptions and Public Perception:
  Danielle explains how being public figures makes social interaction strange and sometimes awkward; fans approach them with familiarity, but the feeling isn’t reciprocated. Danielle (18:58): "I look shocked because I don't see anybody I know. And the response ... is like oh, she looks rude. Well one, I'm just kind of surprised."
• The “Famous” Label:
  Adam and Danielle don’t see themselves as famous:
  Adam (35:42): "Yeah, we accept that to an extent. Like, we. We both don't feel like we're famous." Danielle (35:48): "Normal people that God called us to share our lives."

Production Realities & Behind the Scenes

• Support and Security:
  The show depicted them as more “relatable” by hiding help like nannies or security, which were sometimes necessary for safety and logistics during filming. Adam (25:01): "On our show, they try to make sure that we're as relatable as possible." Danielle (26:30): "They were never left with film crew alone. There was always an adult with them all the time."
• Flexible Participation:
  Their kids were never forced to film and always had the option to step away if they preferred. Adam (27:38): "If our kids were never forced to be on camera ... any of the kids that want to be involved in the scene, they can. But any of the ones that wanted to just go play, they could but they had to have somebody with them while we were occupied."
• Filming as “Work”:
  While grateful for the blessings, filming is hard work and can be more exhausting than parenting itself. Danielle (28:34): "If I were to classify is a job ... it is a harder job than even parenting six kids."

The Truth About Their Marriage

• Arguments & On-Camera “Reality”:
  Adam and Danielle reveal that not every emotional moment on TV was genuine—even “date scenes” sometimes had to be filmed despite real-life disagreements. Danielle (39:22): "All I want to do is like slap him in the face and not talk to him ... but this is real. So ... how do I get outside of my own emotions and head right now and say, like, 'Hey, babe. Oh, this is so exciting'..."

• Manufactured Conflict:
  Sometimes, for the storyline, they would create tension or take opposite sides on an issue, even if they agreed in real life.
  Adam (42:57): "So, like, even if conflict ... we pretty much agreed on a decision ... we would have to have an opposing view on it. And so ... it was always Danielle would have the negative view." Danielle (43:34): "...those were the moments that was fun on camera because ... I would just like, poke and prod her ... to [pretend to] argue."

• Behind-the-Scenes Struggles:
  There were genuine points of marital tension, with Adam focusing on “the brand” and Danielle on protecting the kids, sometimes leading to friction. Danielle (45:00): "...we would fight behind the scenes a lot about Adam. This is about the family versus why do you care about that over this? So there was a lot of friction behind the scenes with that." Adam (46:47): "...I had a more holistic view ... Danielle may get heated in the moment ... but it was just. We both had the same intentions ... from different points of view."

Core Values: The No-Divorce Rule

• A Foundational Rule:
  The Busbys have always agreed that divorce is simply not an option and urge other couples to remove the word from their vocabulary. Danielle (50:38): "The word divorce was never an option. We ... made a covenant, and if I broke ... that covenant ... we were breaking our covenant with God." Adam (50:38): “If you ever even remotely feel like it’s an option, then you kind of use it as a weapon.”

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Fame:
  • "We just feel like we're normal people. Yes, normal people that God called us to share our lives." (Danielle, 35:48)
• On the Reality of Reality TV:
  • "People just think that if you’re on TV, you must be rich and have nannies and chefs ... let me just break it down to you. That is not the reality ... of most reality shows." (Danielle, 24:14)
  • "You do get paid for the work that you do ... but I would say that it is a harder job than even parenting six kids." (Danielle, 28:34)
• On Marital Commitment:
  • "Take the word divorce out of your vocabulary ... because if you ever even remotely feel like it's an option, then you kind of use it as a weapon." (Adam, 50:38)
  • "I think if you can't take any hardship and grow from it, then what's the point, really?" (Danielle, 51:35)

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Important Timestamps (MM:SS)

• 03:36 – Chaos of moving, the everyday Busby household struggles
• 07:45 – Danielle on feeling defeated by endless chores
• 16:49 – Adam on how little TV covers of actual life
• 18:58 – Danielle on the awkwardness of being recognized in public
• 25:01 – 28:16 – Reality TV production: help, security, and always prioritizing kids
• 29:45 – Parenting doesn’t pause for ‘work’ to end
• 39:22 – 43:34 – The truth about “fake fights” and on-camera marriage moments
• 45:00 – 46:47 – How differing priorities caused marital friction
• 50:38 – 51:35 – No-divorce policy and key marriage advice

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Tone and Style

The episode maintains the Busbys' authentic, down-to-earth, candid, and faith-driven tone. Humor and gentle ribbing are woven throughout, especially in the opening where Adam’s burp is discussed in good-natured fun. Their faith and conviction emerge at several points, but never in a preachy way—the advice is shared like close friends chatting with listeners. They tackle fame, marriage, work, and faith honestly and without glamorizing their journey.

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Takeaways for Listeners

• OutDaughtered depicted only a sliver of their real, often chaotic home life.
• Fame, for the Busbys, is more about being known than being “celebrities”—and less glamorous than people think.
• TV production brings unique stress, exhaustion, and forced “on” moments, which can mask or even exacerbate marital strain.
• The foundational rule of never allowing “divorce” into their marital vocabulary has helped sustain their bond through highs and lows.
• Marriage is about perseverance, and every hardship can be an opportunity for growth.

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For deeper insight and more behind-the-scenes candidness, listen to the full episode or check out future installments of More Than Reality with Adam and Danielle.

Transcript

[A]

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[B]

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[A]

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[B]

Rated M for mature. You probably missed it because he's gonna probably cut it out. But he just really loudly burped in the microphone. Did you hear that?

[A]

Did you hear that?

[B]

Yeah, I have earphones in my ear.

[A]

I get gassy whenever I eat ice cream. Oh my God.

[B]

Then why do you eat ice cream?

[A]

I'm a man in my 40s.

[B]

Take the word divorce out of your vocabulary because if you ever.

[A]

If you ever even remotely feel like it's an option, then you kind of use it as a weap.

[B]

This is More Than Reality podcast where we dive into all things faith, family, and marriage and share that there is so much more than the reality that you see on the surface. Welcome to More Than Reality with Adam and Danielle Busby.

[A]

Welcome, guys. This is More Than Reality Podcast with Adam and Danielle.

[B]

Welcome to episode 59. Yep, you probably missed it because he's gonna probably cut it out, but he just really loudly burped in the microphone, which was really loud in my ears. Yeah, because you're gonna cut it out probably.

[A]

It's like, that's gross.

[B]

Nobody wants to hear that. Especially your wife.

[A]

Buddy. The elf. The elf.

[B]

Did you hear that?

[A]

Did you hear that?

[B]

Like, yeah, I have earphones in my ear.

[A]

I get gassy whenever I eat ice cream. Oh my gosh. What?

[B]

Then why do you eat ice?

[A]

I'm a man in my 40s. Just happens.

[B]

I don't think it's been because you're in your 40s. As long as it comes that way and not the other way.

[A]

My lactose intolerance.

[B]

We'll go take you some lactate. Man in your 40s.

[A]

I know I do. I need to find it actually.

[B]

I know. There's just so much to do in this house.

[A]

We're still so. Yes, we're still in the rent house. We've. We've only been here not long, but, like, our sneeze. Our whole.

[B]

Nope. And I lost it.

[A]

Good. I was about to mute both of our ears. Daniel will vibrate the walls in this house. When she sneezed, like, everything.

[B]

I'm not telling you next time.

[A]

That was so excessive.

[B]

It's not excessive. That's just how it comes out. It is.

[A]

She's like a lion when she sneeze.

[B]

Thank you.

[A]

But. Dang it. What was I just saying?

[B]

We're still in the rent house.

[A]

Oh, yeah. And we can't find any of our, like, any of our. I know. They all are, like, medicine cabinet. Like, in our old pantry, we had, like, a whole, like, medicine section. This house, we have hardly any pantry space. And so, like, all of our medicine and stuff like that from the pantry is like, just in a cardboard box under the stairs right now. Like, last night, Riley needed, like, she had an upset stomach, and I was, like, trying to find, like, Pepto Bismol.

[B]

My stomach was actually upset too. And then Ava came down and her stomach was upset. Yeah.

[A]

I don't know what happened last night. There was, like, a little. A little bug last night. Ava and Riley both stayed home from school.

[B]

But then they were fun. So. Yeah, one of those days.

[A]

Yeah. I kept getting, like, screen request notifications throughout the day while I was at work. Man, Today I. I ran all over freaking town because tomorrow morning I gotta leave to go to Dallas. And I've been putting it off with my truck. Needed my oil changed. I actually need new tires, which I went and got new tires on my truck. And I've been putting that off and putting it off and putting it off because, like, I have a big jeep with big tires, and they're not cheap. And I'm like, I can wait. I don't put many miles on it. I mean, I've had the truck, like, four years, and I put 40,000 miles on it.

[B]

You've had the truck longer than four years. You're. The quints are 10 years old. And you.

[A]

It's a 2021 and it's 2025 right now. Four years.

[B]

You've had that truck longer than four years?

[A]

Number math don't lie.

[B]

Didn't get that truck after Covid.

[A]

It's Math. It's a 2021 truck.

[B]

Yeah. And 2021 can come out, like, in 2019.

[A]

Wow. So but these tires, they've gotten. I've had like one front window.

[B]

Us women are falling asleep, going bald.

[A]

And so I needed to get it, especially if I'm driving it five hours down the road tomorrow. So I went, got my tires, new tires, got my oil changed, updated the registration of my truck. Like, did everything, like, force me to go do all the stuff I've been putting off. And as soon as this podcast is over, I gotta load up all my gear and take it with me. So fun producing a podcast in Dallas. Not for this podcast, for another podcast. Actually produce other podcasts if you didn't know. Don't talk about it though. It's just work stuff. But.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Well, it kind of goes along with last week's, last week's episode about, like leaving the house and stuff. But it's not for fun. Danielle goes to trips for fun. I go for work.

[B]

Whatever guy. Time away is still majority. I wouldn't say maybe this, this trip, but a lot of trips you take, this is.

[A]

This isn't going to be a fun trip. Yeah.

[B]

I would say a lot of trips you take that are work trips or probably 75% fun and 25 work. Yes. Or actually probably more than, more than fun.

[A]

It's a lot of work, though.

[B]

But it's a lot of fun for you. So. Yeah.

[A]

I mean, if you, if you, if you do what you love, you never have a job. Like, it never feels like work.

[B]

Yeah. So don't complain about my job. I love it. Just kidding. My job today was to do laundry and then to clean the kitchen and grocery shop and take care of the kids and then go to parent meetings and then come home and then everything is a disaster again.

[A]

So.

[B]

And I'm. No, it puts me in a bad mood. And then there's two other laundry baskets full of clothes that doesn't look like I did absolutely anything today. And this makes me want to go back to work.

[A]

It never stops.

[B]

And then the cleaning lady who was supposed to couldn't come today because she's going out of town for Thanksgiving, I was like, it's okay when, you know, it's like, it's, it's fine. Obviously I was like, don't go for a half a day. Like, there's no point. Like, it's not going to do anything here, you know?

[A]

No. It's a four day job.

[B]

Yeah. So. But then again, it's like, it does, but then it doesn't because I'm like, look, it doesn't look like I did absolutely anything today.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

It's just Mary Poppins. Where are you? Where are you?

[A]

But anyways, I need to get one of those, like.

[B]

No, don't say it, Elon Musk. I knew you were going to say that. No, not gonna have a robot. It's gonna like turn into like one of those psycho things and want to start like, kill me.

[A]

I heard about this one robot. Like, we want to have a robot, Android robot type thing. But like in another country, like in China or something, there's actually people that's just like controlling it from us from a computer screen.

[B]

They're just like, like they're playing a game.

[A]

They're just like watching and listening to everything going on in your house.

[B]

And they're just like playing Sims and. And at home, but it's like real life. That's.

[A]

That's what I'd be afraid of, ordering one of those. And it's just like somebody else on the other side of it. And.

[B]

No, that's crazy. I would never have that in my house.

[A]

Because I'd probably, you know, because you. Because you like.

[B]

I mean, how many times you walk around naked?

[A]

Exactly. Like, I mean, you walk. You walk around like girls. You walk around naked or from room to room in your house, like in front of your dogs and stuff and like, whatever. But like, I'm sure it'd be end up being that same way in front of like some robot. It's not a person, it's just a robot. But it's probably some Chinaman on. On the other side of it just like walking around your house. He's like peeping around the corner.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

See?

[B]

More psycho. More reasons why I wouldn't have one. Anyways, that's some crazy talk. But it does. Things like that make me think. I love watching like those thriller, suspenseful serial killer, document murder mystery.

[A]

Oh, that'd probably be a good spot.

[B]

Why is my notes going rainbow?

[A]

Probably because you said something having to do with Siri. Oh, that'd be. That'd be a pretty good plot for a movie, though.

[B]

Like there is one like that. Yeah. And they go. And the robot things kill the lady or they start like attacking. They all go against her.

[A]

I forget what that movie, like the one with Will Smith AI or something like that where all the robots, like started attacking people.

[B]

If you were to stay up and watch a show or a movie, what category of a type of show would you watch?

[A]

I mean, what. I mean, the last two nights, like, I've been watching that.

[B]

You haven't watched nothing.

[A]

This documentary on I walk In.

[B]

And your iPads. Your iPad is facing the ceiling and you're snoring.

[A]

It doesn't take long. That's why I don't watch tv.

[B]

I'm saying, if you were to stay awake, like, what. What type of show would you want to watch? Because I like, I don't like. I don't like, like horror or like, like that, but I like suspenseful thriller, like murder, crime stuff.

[A]

I like that kind of stuff sometimes. But typically, like, if I'm just like.

[B]

If I have GI Joe stuff the other day. Yeah.

[A]

If I have like a little time to kill, like, I'll just like, turn on like a documentary or something. And so I've been watching this, this Netflix.

[B]

Tell me what I've been watching.

[A]

This Netflix thing on the Marine Corps or something.

[B]

Yeah, that's what it is.

[A]

Because they're, like, preparing for like, the next World War iii. So it's just.

[B]

Have you learned anything? Because I hear about it as I'm like, brushing my teeth and stuff.

[A]

It's kind of weird because it just follows, like, these two guys. So, like, I. I just put myself in the position of, like, the other people around because, like, I've been on tv, so like, you know, this documentary crew is, like, going to like, these, you know, deployed troops or whatever that are out in the middle of the Pacific Ocean and. But they're just like, keying in on two people. So like, I'm just like, wondering like, what that's like, like behind the scenes and stuff as this documentary crews, like, following these like, two Marines out of like, this whole ship. There's probably hundreds, but I don't know, I think. I think about TV and movies and stuff. Completely different now that I've been on tv.

[B]

Yeah, it's actually a good intro.

[A]

And then I actually, like, shoot stuff too. So, like. Yeah, I don't produce other projects and stuff. So I'm like. And I, I watch. I don't know. That's why once we got into the.

[B]

World of, of like, reality tv, you. We definitely learned a lot about how TV is made, especially reality tv.

[A]

That's why we can't really watch reality tv.

[B]

Yeah, like, I used to be all into, like, the Housewives, like, Bravo, Housewives and all the drama and stuff. But, like, I can't watch it the same anymore because I like, I see all through the setups, the scenes, like, how certain things.

[A]

But then, but then also we meet people, other people that are on other shows. And like, I have friends that are on like, the Real Housewife Shows and stuff like that. And, you know, and you just kind of, like, share stories about, like, what it's really like, and you're just like, okay, yeah.

[B]

Yeah, exactly. It just. It. We. You do learn a lot about how things are done. But today we're actually. We're going to kind of talk about kind of like, open the curtain just a little bit wider. And, you know, we've been on TV for a long time. Millions of people have, like, watched our family grow. We've had, you know, some arguments on tv. We've probably cried. Probably Adam more than me.

[A]

What?

[B]

On tv?

[A]

Yeah, probably.

[B]

So just that episode that we watched, the first one.

[A]

Oh, God.

[B]

That. That was like the first episode. We used to make fun of you.

[A]

Because, I mean, how could you not freaking cry? Like, you're a dad that just had five babies.

[B]

It was not saying that, but it was just like, okay, move on.

[A]

Can you not? I mean, if I didn't cry, everybody would be like, what's wrong with that guy?

[B]

I know everybody's like, what's wrong with her? Because she's just sitting there. But we kind of wanted to just talk about, like, what life really, like, when the cameras, like, left, like, we're filming, but, like, the cameras were then gone for the day or like, we were off for like a week or like, whatever. Like, what were. What were those days like, really, like. And, you know, I. I think above all, like, I'm definitely, like, grateful. And I. I think we say this a lot. Like, I'm grateful for the journey that we've had and that we've been able to capture a lot. Because I've said this before. Like, I don't remember a lot of those days because it's very sleep deprived and just like, going and going and going. But there's a lot of. There's so much of life that never was seen. But yet the world thinks they know you because they watched you on tv. And which is which. You have to. You have to, like, accept that, right? You have to go in accepting.

[A]

I was. I was just on Facebook earlier today because I don't know why, like, I never get on Facebook. Obviously, we post stuff to Instagram and stuff and it gets shared over to Facebook, but I very rarely go on Facebook. But every now and then, like, Facebook will change something in the app, and then all of a sudden I'll start getting notifications and I have to go back and turn them off or whatever. But. And then I started randomly getting notifications about, like, like, old posts and stuff. Like, that and I'm like reading through these and people are just like making these assumptions and making these accusations just based off of what they've about our life right now, based off of what they've seen in our TV show years and years ago. And I'm like, for one thing that was like less than 1% of our life back even whenever we were filming.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And so it's hard, it's hard to really like have somebody figure it out over watching a TV show because.

[B]

And now it's like if you compare like what reality TV used to be like before all this social media, you have so much, you have such a bigger way to really see the life of someone else besides just reality tv because you can look on social media and see other things if they are people who post things, you know, and we are like, we do post things and we have our own YouTube channel that we would do family things on and stuff too. So you would see other sides, like other parts that we would post about our lives. And so I feel like there was a little piece that we would share and it was, it was set apart from then. Do you know that the, the ABC story that, you know, the arcing thing that, you know, network TV would have to sue. But it, it's still very, it's very weird to say like we walk in a world where so many people know us but we don't know them. So a lot of times we come off very alarmed in a way because if someone's, if you hear someone say hey Danielle and I turn around and I kind of look and I look shocked because I don't see anybody I know. And the response to the person who said my name is like oh, she looks rude. Well one, I'm just kind of surprised because I'm looking for someone that I know but I don't know anybody. So I'm that my first instinct is as a shock like oh wait, it's a fan or it's someone that I don't really know.

[A]

It's a shock. But then it's also like they kind of, they kind of catch you wide eyed for a second because you stare at them for a little bit like, and trying to like you know, your, your mind, your Rolodex in your mind like oh, am. Should I know this person?

[B]

Because if it's a local place, if it, if we're somewhere out like in a different state or wherever, cuz it happens everywhere. But if it is somewhere more like close to home or whatever, you really do go wait okay, do I know this person? Haven't met them before? Like, am I supposed to know them?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So you go through, like, these psycho things in your head, like, okay. And they're like. And some people off the top go, oh, I'm sorry, you don't know me, but we follow you or whatever. So just to tell people who. Who come forth to us, we don't mind that. It's just give us a little bit of grace because we're kind of coming in blind to a lot of not knowing. Right, Right.

[A]

Yeah. Sometimes it's just like an awkward, like, moment because, you know, they. They approach you, they say your name, and then you're just like. You're staring at them for a second like, crap, am I supposed to know this person? Or are they just like. They know us from TV or social media or YouTube or whatever? And so you just kind of stare at them for a second, hoping that they'll give you a little bit more context how they know you. And if not, then you're just like.

[B]

Yeah. And sometimes they're just. Sometimes the response is they're. They can be shocked or quiet or sometimes cry.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I'm like, it's just me, you know, but. So that's even hard to respond to because we're just like, it's. It's just me. Like, you, like, I don't understand why you're being emotional about it. Like, hey, high five. Like, what's up?

[A]

You know, I mean, there is just, like, disconnect with people you see on TV that, I don't know, you're just not. Especially if you just see somebody around town that you've seen on TV before. It's just.

[B]

It is. It is.

[A]

It's weird.

[B]

It is weird.

[A]

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[B]

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[B]

Yeah, don't let this pass up because they don't last forever, guys. So you know when these Black Friday sales starts, you got to, you got to, you got to get on them. So use code more than with their Black Friday sales and you can get up to 40% off. And once again, I would recommend the bubble cuddle blanket. And you can give that to literally anybody that you have a hard time getting a gift for this holiday season. But don't forget, they also have the amazing sheets. They have pajamas and like, you know, loungewear that you can get for anybody too. But thank you, Cozy Ghost for sponsoring this podcast because you know us busies love us some cozy earth.

[A]

Yeah. And don't forget you got a 10 year warranty and 100 night sleep trial also.

[B]

Yes. So wrap the ones you love in luxury with some cozy earth.

[A]

Yep. So thank you, Cozy Earth.

[B]

But I think also too, I think a lot of people think when you were on TV that TV is like, oh my God, you're famous. You're like, everything is so perfect. Like you've got everything, like everyone's doing everything for you. You've got like, you know, assistant this, assistant that. Housekeeper, Housekeeper, Nanny, Nanny, nanny, personal assistant, chef. Like, like, let me just break it down to you. Like, that is not the reality of like, I will just say most reality. Most reality shows.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Now can that be part of some reality shows? Yes. And that happens because that's the level of what that show is supposed to be like. And I'll say that because I know that there are some shows that are meant to be. These families are, we'll just say bougie, high level rich families. And part of the production team is to hire those people to bring in the housekeepers, the chefs, the pilots, the Airplanes, the jets, and they hire all that in there to put that on the show. So doesn't always mean that those people have all that. That's part of the show.

[A]

But what's funny is, like, on our show, they. They try to make sure that we're as relatable as possible. And so even, like, sometimes we would have help or we would have.

[B]

But we always. We always had to have eyes on babies because.

[A]

Yeah. So like, sometimes. Yeah, whenever we go to certain places, especially whenever we were in the height of filming TV and stuff like that. Yeah, sometimes we would have help or a nanny with this, because just in case we got pulled off for interviews, somebody else could, like, be able to, like, watch kids or whatever. I would say anytime or sometimes. Or sometimes, you know, we would bring security or, like, a bodyguard in certain locations just to make sure, like, kind of keep people away from us if it was, like, a crowded area. And. But we could never. We could never show that on tv because then it makes us look not relatable. But it was just like. I mean, that's just the nature of how life was at the time.

[B]

Our number one concern was always the kids. And it was set from the beginning. Like, listen, if you need a scene where you're gonna pull me and Adam away, that doesn't work for us because we have six kids. So it wasn't like we trust them as far as a production crew to just be like, oh, we're going to let this person watch your kids? Absolutely not. Like, that doesn't work for us. We will.

[A]

We will get people. Typically, they weren't even allowed to.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, but we were. We had people that we vetted that we trusted, that we knew that we would take with us. And so the whole nanny thing, that. The whole all that. Sometimes it was two people, sometimes it was one, sometimes it was three. It literally just depended on what we were doing, where we were going, because we never left the babies alone. We never left the kids alone. They never were left with film crew alone. There was always an adult with them all the time. All the time. And that is a. That is a parent thing that we put our hands down all the time. They were never left alone. And so if we were ever given, you know, a hard time for, like, having help with that, it's like, well, that's because we were filming. Yeah, a lot of the times, because we were filming. But also, we did have. We did have help at times, too, whenever we weren't filming, where we have people like Deb and Taylor And Lee and. And I mean, people always want to, like, just come in and serving and give and help.

[A]

But there was also, like, you know, we always had this, like, thing in place where, you know, if we were filming in our house, like, our kids were never forced to be on camera. And so, you know, if we're filming a scene downstairs in the kitchen or whatever, and some of the kids just like, wanted to go play, like, they were well within their right to just go play.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And. And so, like, when it. But we were still gonna film, like, so Danielle and I. Yes, we're obligated to be there with the crew and film and stuff like that. And any of the kids that want to be involved in the scene, they can. But any of the ones that wanted to just go play, they could, but they had to have somebody with them while we were occupied.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And so we'd have somebody off camera.

[B]

And sometimes, like, we had to like, adjust where the scene might have been filmed because they're like, well, we want, we want kids in the background or we want to see the kids or whatever. So we would maybe have to say, oh, we can't do this in the kitchen. Let's go in the backyard if that's where they want to play, or whatever, you know.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

But all this to say is that, like, the, the. The TV life is not all rich and famous. Like, people make it seem like it is. If I were to classify is a job, no matter what people think it is a job, you do get paid for the work that you do. And unlike just like any other job that you would do, we did not go into it thinking that and thinking that it was going to be probably the hardest job that we would ever do. I would say that it is a harder job than even parenting six kids. It was, it was just extremely exhausting just because it was on top of all the things that we were doing, but it just magnified all of, all of the life. Because, you know, at the end of the day, we're still. When we're done capturing, we're still mom and dad, we're still husband and wife, we're still these roles as, as who we are. Right. And we're just exhausted. So.

[A]

Yeah. Because a lot of times we would film, you know, we film a 10 or 12 hour film day. And then at the end of the day, sometimes the crew, I mean, the crew is with us till like late in the evening, and then we finally wrap for the day. But then it's just like, okay, work is done, Air Quotes work is done, but yet still, parents still gotta get bathed, get fed, go to bed, you know, all these things. And so it's just like, yeah, the TV work ends, but then, you know, the. And there was kicks in.

[B]

There was a lot of things that were stressful too during that because there was things like, well, let's what can we do to help with that? And blah, blah. And I'm like, the thing is, is that like, you don't understand. I would fight back because I'm like, you don't understand. Like, I don't want someone to come in and always take over being mom so that I can film. Yeah, I want to be mom. I want to put our kids to bed, I want to feed our kids. We want to have dinner with our kids, we want to be present with our kids. And like, I want to be the ones bathing our kids. Like, I don't want them to see other random people or like a sitter every night. Like, we are those parents. We want to be with our children. And so we like, it wasn't just like, we want it to be on tv. So like, let's just get all hands on deck and get people to do these jobs as our roles as our parents so that we can film. It was, this is why it was so hard because we still want it to be our parents to our children. But we still had these obligations to film, which at times it was like we would have to go down, cameras down because we needed to eat or we needed to bathe the girls and you know, things where you couldn't have cameras around and which would cause things to be longer, which then extended time and you would be more exhausted and blah, blah, blah. But these are just like little reality things into like the real world of like filming. So your day was posted at 4. Well, our days because we had six kids ended at 9pm, you know, because that was reality because you had six kids.

[A]

All right, guys, so let's talk about getting your husband, your boyfriend, your father, even your son. Something this season that they're gonna absolutely love. And it's a no brainer. It's poncho. Poncho outdoors I'm wearing right now. I'm wearing the flannel actually almost put.

[B]

Put that on today. I did. And so she's always taking my shirts. You see this one is because I had to go to a parent meeting. So I was like, I'm gonna throw that on.

[A]

So seriously, like my poncho shirts, I get them in the slim fit and they just like, taper down. They're perfect. They fit perfect. They're super soft. They're stretchy. Whether it's a flannel, a denim shirt, western wear. They even have new polos that are really nice. I got one in like a, like a greenish, like a kind of like a army green type color. Olive.

[B]

Would you call it olive?

[A]

Yeah, it's probably olive. I guess I agree with colors.

[B]

I don't know. I just think every guy needs like a nice flannel shirt. And I feel like these Poncho outdoor.

[A]

Shirts are like, that's if you're watching on YouTube. What I love about like all their shirts, they have like this snap right here. And so a lot of guys, it's like a. You hate like whenever you're.

[B]

Oh, my God, you're so picky about your collar.

[A]

Yes, I'm very picky about my collars. And that's why I love poncho shirts because, like, I can't stand, like, if my collar goes flat. I think it looks ridiculous, like disco era. But they have these snaps right here on the underside of the collar and it holds your collar up perfect.

[B]

Yeah, so these are definitely durable. Like you can definitely like work in them. But they're actually like really soft and cozy. So you could actually just like wear it to wear, you know, dinner or whatnot. But it's great for the holiday season and like the warmer seasons layer it, but they look nice.

[A]

And everything on ponchooutdoors.com is comes with free shipping, free exchanges to make sure that you have the perfect fit. And Poncho stands by every shirt. So 100 satisfaction guarantee.

[B]

Yeah. So visit panchooutdoors.com and that is P O-N C-H O outdoors.com and slash more than. Yes, slash more than.

[A]

The Busby's actually have a landing page on there. So go to ponchooutdoors.com more than.

[B]

Right.

[A]

And some of my favorite fits, some of my favorite shirts are actually on that landing page.

[B]

Oh, good.

[A]

You.

[B]

Are you the model. They went.

[A]

They went and found like my search my. My shop history and they put all my shirts up there.

[B]

Ponchosoutdoors.com more than enter that you can get $10 off and the free shipping.

[A]

And when they ask you in a post purchase survey where you heard about.

[B]

Them, you better say us.

[A]

Let them know that you heard it from more than reality podcast. All right, so thank you, Poncho. Yeah, it is funny to see like on social media, like the disconnect, like the Two opposite camps of people. Like, you know, one group is like, oh, yeah, you know, all this stuff. Like, y'.

[B]

All.

[A]

You guys are famous. And like, every. You know, it must be weird going anywhere because people know you, blah, blah, blah. And then you have these other people, and typically, these people are like the haters. And they're like, oh, y' all aren't really famous. Like, blah, blah, blah. And, like, it's just funny because, like, you know, you'll have some people say, oh, yeah, you are famous, and you are so well known and stuff. And, yeah, we accept that to an extent. Like, we. We both don't feel like we're famous.

[B]

Well, just the word famous, like, what does it actually really.

[A]

Yeah. Like, we just feel like we're normal people. Yes.

[B]

Normal people that God called us to share our lives.

[A]

Yeah. We're. We're known. And, like, in certain circles, people know us.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And that's, like, to the extent of, like, fame that we feel that we are, like, I would never tell somebody, yeah, I'm famous.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So. But there are people that say that, and then they're. But then, like, the haters of the world on Instagram and stuff like that. They're like, y' all ain't really famous. Like, nobody. Like, yeah, of course I'm not freaking the Rock. You know, stuff like that. Like, of course. Like, there's people in movies and stuff that I. I think are famous.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

But, yeah, we're not even remotely on that level. But, yeah, we're still known. And, you know, any. Anywhere we go, any city we go, any airport we go to, like, people approach us because people know us.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

That's just how it is.

[B]

Yeah. And I mean, there's. There's days and stuff that, you know, just being parents of six kids and dealing with, like, your own family, you know, stresses and marriage and, you know, school with kids, exhaustions, laundry, dinners, grocery shopping, you know, paying bills, like, keeping up with your lawn care. Like, just your everyday normal things. Like, we still had to manage and keep up with. Even if we had a long guy. Well, guess what? We still had to have someone pay the long guy. We still had to have someone, like, clean the pool. We still had to pay that person. We still had all these things still had to get done. Right. And so we still had to be the keepers of our responsibilities. Right. But there were days where we would be over exhausted but still have to film. Right. We started out and we, like, there would be nothing, nothing between Adam and I that were just. That we were In a fight or an argument with. We were just exhausted. We're just like, oh, we don't want to do this today.

[A]

Like grumpy.

[B]

Or, or you had a night where kids were up and they're teething and you're exhausted because of that. And now you got to go, you know, just put a new face on today and, and still roll it. Like you just, you had to be on even when you couldn't be on. Even though it's still reality. It's just, it's, it was just hard, right? And there's certain things that people just don't understand. And, and people who are listening to this can totally, can totally be haters to this and say like, oh, well, you chose this. I am not saying this to say pity us in any aspect. Any aspect. I'm telling you to say the reality of this is that it's not always what people think. It's all glamour, you know, we actually are real people and we're still the parents and we're still people who love Jesus, who have, you know, you know, marital, marital struggles, who have parent parenting, trying to figure out certain things with parenting and jobs and like all, all the things that every family, normal things go through, you know, and there's times where we would be in an argument and mad at each other and we have to go make, go on a.

[A]

Date scene and I'm like happening in.

[B]

Real life, like it's not happening and he has to take me out on a date and all I want to do is like slap him in the face and not talk to him, you know, and, and I'm not supposed to accept him giving me an 11 second hug. And I'm like, and I'm like, I don't even want to look at him right now. And you know, and we would make it clear to like our film crew, like, today is not a good day.

[A]

For us to do this.

[B]

Like, we like, I am mad at him right now and they're like, we really got to knock this out today. And I'm like, I, I just really don't want you. I don't know how we're going to do this today, you know, but this is real. So when there's certain things where like in real life your emotions are like set apart from what you have to film. This is where they're like, okay, your reality. That my reality is not my emotions right there.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So guess what? I'm having to tune away and be like, how do I get outside of my own emotions and head Right now and say, like, hey, babe. Oh, this is so exciting. You did this for me. Like, I can't believe it, you know, like, so ridiculous.

[A]

Lucky to have such an incredible husband that does everything and blah, blah, blah.

[B]

There was a lot of things that I would say, we would say could be fake, but not fake. They were fake because to us, in those moments, they weren't happening in our emotional states right then in that second in that day. So it's very hard for us to be like, we weren't in that place at that moment when we were filming that, and that's what was fake. So that's when we say reality TV can be not reality. It's reality because it's our life and it's. We go through these experiences. But for that day, in that scene, it may have been a pickup because they didn't have a camera on us when we had. When we were filming that, or something happened or whatever, or I was sick or I was a completely crying my eyes out about being exhausted mom and losing my crap because I just got throw up on and pooped on.

[A]

Throw up on.

[B]

Yeah. And diarrhea on by three babies. And now I have to go film a date scene with Adam. You know, it's like you just get overwhelmed by, like, mom things. And so it's just you have to, like, turn yourself around. Be like, okay, yeah, I can't think about that stuff right now.

[A]

And so those are my favorite ones were like, the. Like when we're in a storyline, because we always had to have, you know, just because of the sake of the storyline. And usually Danielle and I were the only ones that could further the story of the episode. And so it's like, really, it's on us to create conflict in the episode. So, like, even if conflict. Even if we pretty much agreed on a decision or something going on in that episode for the sake of the television show, just to create further dialogue and to move the story along, we would have to have an opposing view on it. And so they would all. It seemed like it was always Danielle would have the negative view. And so that's why everybody thinks that Danielle is a Kate. But it was just funny because, like, then, you know, you're filming a scene where, like, Danielle's either frustrated about something I'm doing, but in real life, she's not really that frustrated about it, but she has to be frustrated about it on the TV show. And. And so it was like something where, like, there's supposed to be tension in the episode, but, well, they Give us. But there's not really.

[B]

And then we're talking and then we're like.

[A]

But there's not really tension between us.

[B]

Wait.

[A]

And so those are. Those were the moments that was fun on camera because, like, I would just like, poke and prod her because, like, we weren't really arguing or fighting in real life at the time, but we needed to on camera.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And. And you typically. It would end up like, I really end up making her mad because, like, I'll just like, he'd be Adam. Go all in on it.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And end up just like, pissing her off about something else.

[B]

Like, I'm a Teresa Giudice. You and flip this table over.

[A]

But it was always funny.

[B]

But yeah. And I mean, and then you. With reality tv, of course, with social media, you face a lot of. I don't feel like between me and Adam, we were very different minded when it came to. How do I say? It came to Busby. The Busby brand. The Busbee name. My head was always. This is who I am. My head was always worried about, like, the kids. This. That's my feelings. That's what I'm gonna say. Deal with it. Go, go, go. Like, I don't care what that person says about me. And I think as I've gone through and gotten through a lot of the stress of the Go, go, go through all of it and kind of can reflect back on Adam's perspective of. You have to kind of not just always say what's on the. What you can always just get a, like, slow to speak.

[A]

Right? Yeah.

[B]

And that's just. Wasn't me all the time. And I think, you know, as you get wiser and as you get to scripture more, you really start to take the words of like, slow to speak. And that's really. It's really has sunk to me over the years that, like, back then you.

[A]

Would just say whatever's on your mind. And I was always a lot more calculated.

[B]

And you still are. We still like this a lot. But in the world of tv, it was very, very hard because we would. We would fight behind the scenes a lot about Adam. This is about the family versus why do you care about that over this? So there was a lot of friction behind the scenes with that. But it all was. I would like to say it all was for a good purpose, but it was always seen so differently because we were just in the middle of it at that time. But if I look now, we can look back at it back then and.

[A]

I can say, oh, Adam, you Were right.

[B]

I'm not using those words because that's not what I was going to say. That's not what I was going to say. I would say. I would say we were both right because I had a protectiveness and you had a protectiveness too. They were just very different, and I think they both were needed. Yeah. And, you know, you taking care, you. You looking at us as a whole for the world, and me just being so focused on, like, the intimacy of who we are versus you saying, hey, but God's using us for this. We have to protect this.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Widely.

[A]

And I had a more holistic view of, like, our family and, like, just, like, the brand around our family and, like, who people perceived us to be. And so, like, I never wanted to, like, waiver any of those convictions on, like, oh, what they were trying to get out of us on a certain scene or a particular topic or whatever. Like, my mind was always like, no, that's not. That doesn't really align with, like, our family values and our brand or whatever. But Danielle may get heated in the moment and, like, about one specific topic or whatever, protecting the kids on one thing, but it was just. We both had to have had the same intentions. It was just. We both focused on it from different points of view.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah.

[A]

So running pretty.

[B]

Yeah, I was gonna say, was there anything else? I feel like those were kind of like those main, like, things that were the most. Things that people just really didn't know.

[A]

Yeah. I mean, it's always fun just to talk about, like. Like perspective on, you know, because, like. And kind of peel back the curtain a little bit on, you know, what. What stuff was really, like behind the scenes on reality TV and stuff like that. And there's so many more topics that we could talk about, you know, from, you know, vacations or just, like, just interactions and just, you know, how we thought of most of our crew as, like, family and just, like, we were so close with, like, a lot of crew members, like, family, like, aunts and uncles and stuff like that with the kids. And. And then also we had a few interactions of people that we didn't care for. I mean, it's natural. Whenever you have a television show on. On air for 10 years, you know, there's always going to be people that come and, like, they don't fit.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And we've had some.

[B]

Yeah. And I think. I think. I think above all, like, going through, you know, the life God has placed in front of us. One, being the parents of six kids and then two, reality TV show and just public life. The challenges that we have gone through with both of those levels has been very hard, especially on a marriage. And I think we've been very blessed to have a lot of accountability, which. I know we've talked about this before in the previous episodes, but not to say that it's. It's always been easy, or there hasn't been a lot of drifting at times, meaning distance of between us. But one advice that I would give to every married couple out there is one thing that we always said between us, even as worse as it's ever been or as far apart as we had ever felt from each other, the word divorce was never an option. We, you know, felt from the very beginning like we made a covenant, and this was a covenant between us and God. And if I broke. If either of us broke this covenant of marriage, that we were breaking our covenant with God, like, under God, you know? And so there's this conviction that no matter what, divorce was never. Is never going to be an option. And so I would just highly recommend those of you that are married to think about that and to really try to pull that language into your own marriage. Because if you can start or just start now in your marriage and have that conversation with your spouse and just say from now on, like. Like, we don't. I don't want to set that word into our language either. Or if you're getting married or if you're.

[A]

Because if you ever. If you ever even remotely feel like it's an option, then you kind of use it as a weapon.

[B]

Yeah. And you always feel like you can have a way out, but there's. There. There shouldn't be. There shouldn't be, you know, so even through the hard. Even through the hard. Even through all the struggles that marriage can Just. Marriage can bring in general, and. But going through the pregnancy and the NICU and the, you know, the TV show and family of six kids, everything that our marriage has gone through, and maybe one day we will, like, be more, like, open. And maybe if I can remember any of our. Any of our, like, real. Real tough stuff, we can talk about it. But I think all it really has done is it really has just taught us and really has made us grow.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And I think if you can't take any hardship and grow from it, then what's the point, really? You're just gonna stay in the pits. Right. So if there's anything that you listen to this and can take away from, I would just say take the word divorce out of your vocabulary. Going into marriage, premarital counseling, if you're newly married or if you've been married for 30 years, whatever. Just put that vocabulary. Take it out. Just take it out. So we'll be married 20 years next year. And so we've had it not in our vocabulary this long. And it's work, so.

[A]

All right, guys, thanks for tuning in to episode 59. Yep. A more Than Reality podcast. This is Adam and Danielle Busby, and we'll see you in the next one.

[B]

Time for Adam to fall asleep to his iPad facing the ceiling. Good night.

[A]

All right, we love you guys.