← More Than Reality with Adam and Danielle
More Than Reality with Adam and Danielle
EP 76 - Behind OutDaughtered: What Depression and Pressure Did to Us
00:56:51
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- [00:01]
Adam Busby
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- [00:54]
You want to know a secret?
- [00:57]
Danielle Busby
Oh, a secret time.
- [00:59]
Adam Busby
I don't know if you're going to like it.
- [01:01]
Danielle Busby
What if something drastic would have happened that day? And, you know, here I am, like, leaving Danielle and six daughters and that was it.
- [01:19]
Adam Busby
This is More Than Reality Podcast, where we dive into all things faith, family, and marriage and share that there is so much more than the reality that you see on the surface. Welcome to More Than Reality with Adam and Danielle Busby.
- [01:36]
Danielle Busby
What's up, guys? It is episode 76 of More Than Reality Podcast. This is Adam and Danielle Busby. This is a podcast about our life as parents of six girls.
- [01:51]
Adam Busby
Half a dozen.
- [01:51]
Danielle Busby
Yeah. If you haven't tuned into us before, we had a reality television show on TLC for 10 seasons and Adam is
- [02:01]
Adam Busby
a little bit under the weather with his sinus.
- [02:03]
Danielle Busby
If I sound nasally, you do. The pollen right now is. I don't normally get like this, honestly.
- [02:11]
Adam Busby
No. You're sick. Really?
- [02:13]
Danielle Busby
I. I usually never get sick and.
- [02:16]
Adam Busby
But back to what you were saying. This is a podcast.
- [02:20]
Danielle Busby
Yeah, this is a podcast about our family, just life as you know, a podcast all about marriage, family, parenting, and everything in between.
- [02:32]
Adam Busby
Faith, just. I mean, all the things.
- [02:34]
Danielle Busby
Yep.
- [02:34]
Adam Busby
How we do life, coming from reality tv, you know, having the first set of all girl quintuplets in America, having a reality show to just kind of stepping away from that and God kind of like flipping our world upside down and, you know, closing businesses, moving to a different town and all the things. So here we are, just trying to juggle, manage it all. And we're sharing that with you on this podcast.
- [03:05]
Danielle Busby
Yeah. And so, like, one of the things and the whole reason behind the title of our podcast, More Than Reality Podcast, is about, you know, we had a television show, and that's what most people know us from, is being on TV for, you know, 10 seasons, which is pretty long for a reality TV show. Most reality TV shows don't get to a third season. And so we had a pretty long run, and we decided, you know, just to take a. Take a step away and, like, focus on our family, focus on our. Our career, and just, like, building, you know, the things that we have as a family. It made it really difficult while we were, you know, filming a TV show and also trying to run multiple businesses and stuff and. And keep, like, a career afloat.
- [04:02]
Adam Busby
And I think at the time, because
- [04:04]
Danielle Busby
while you were, you know, whenever you go into, like, a production season, it may be anywhere from three months to six months. Covid seasons were, like, dang near a year. And so, like, everything that you have going on in your life kind of goes to the back burner while you're focused on production. And then.
- [04:25]
Adam Busby
And I don't think a lot of people realize that.
- [04:28]
Danielle Busby
Yeah.
- [04:28]
Adam Busby
At all. Because, you know, you're filming a reality show and it's capturing your reality, but in reality. How many times can we say this?
- [04:38]
Danielle Busby
It's really just picking and choosing what. What the network decides and what they choose to show.
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Adam Busby
Like, yes, it's real because you're filming us in that scenario, but didn't mean the day we're filming. That's what we actually had to do
- [04:55]
Danielle Busby
in our real life.
- [04:55]
Adam Busby
In our real life.
- [04:56]
Danielle Busby
Yeah. So, yeah, yeah. Timelines may not have lined up exactly. You know, typically the way that we would do it is, like, at the beginning of this season, we would sit down with our calendar with producers and stuff, and we would go on and go through our calendar over the next few months. This is everything that we've got going on as a family. These are the things that we were planning on doing. These are the things that we would like to do. And they're like, okay, yeah, yeah, let's cover this. Let's do this. And. And we'd kind of, like, make, like, a story arc from the season, and then through that, then we would kind of build around that, like, you know, and actually build the season around all those big story arcs. And so, you know, we would have, you know, this set schedule at the beginning of the season. Then, you know, things change and the middle. And then, so you're still trying to make it all work through throughout. So it was. It was a constant juggle of. Of everything. But sometimes it got frustrating. Sometimes it was fun.
- [06:05]
Adam Busby
I think. I think when I look back at it, I don't know if this is what we're talking about today or not, but I think when I look back at it, I never perceived filming as a job, even though it was, you know, it just wasn't perceived to me in that moment, especially when it started, because it was. Everything was new, new, new, new, new. And then you go years in and it's like, okay, this is a lot harder. You figure out the ins and outs of things, and we're not really life capturing new things, in a sense. And so, you know, a lot of the first of this, the first of that, adjusting to a family of six, like, all this was new at the same time. And then, you know, years in, it's like, it was interesting, like how a show is filmed.
- [06:57]
Danielle Busby
And because we probably had those same, I would say, misconceptions about what TV life is like.
- [07:05]
Adam Busby
Yeah.
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Danielle Busby
That a lot of you guys have. And a lot of the comments and stuff that we see on social media, you know, it's like the same type of kind of idea of what we had in our head at the beginning, like, of what cameras are just, like, following y' all around and, like, you know, just capturing your everyday life. And you don't realize just how much, like, production and everything, like, takes over and, like, reworks your schedule and, like, you know, the long hours of, you know, sitting and doing couch interviews, like we would never. At the very beginning. I mean, you watch it on TV and you're like, oh, yeah. You know, because they may jump to, like, the couch interviews, like, five or six times or whatever through the episode. And you don't realize how many hours that, like, you're sitting in front of a couch or you're sitting on a couch in front of producers, and they're just asking you question after question.
- [08:01]
Adam Busby
And the way that an episode can adjust and move, you know, and so you talk about this on the couch, what you did. But then now that's gonna. Now what you talked about is now gonna come, like, after what you did. And so it's like, timeline could really change in how you filmed it. So therefore, when you're on the couch talking about it, you have to know, okay, what does the edits look like? Because that's what we need to be referencing.
- [08:26]
Danielle Busby
Yeah.
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Adam Busby
And it doesn't always go that way.
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Danielle Busby
Yeah.
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Adam Busby
And then, you know, it. It really does. So a lot of times you don't necessarily know how the episode's coming together to talk about it, because really what they're going to show on the couch interviews is. Is you narrating and talking about what the viewer is seeing.
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Danielle Busby
Yeah.
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Adam Busby
Not all the things that we film or.
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Danielle Busby
Or you had learned later on that, like, you know, they. We would film, you know, on location somewhere and film a scene. But you weren't really. You weren't really aware what direction that episode was going to go based off of, like, what they filmed that day. Or, you know, they may, like, something may have stuck out to post, and they're like, oh, let's cover that. And that's going to kind of be the theme around this. This deal. And so, you know, a lot of times we'd be on. They'd be asking us questions, and we would have to ask them, like, hey, like, how is this getting cut?
- [09:28]
Adam Busby
What does it look like?
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Danielle Busby
Yeah, like, wait, you tell me. Because this could have gone.
- [09:33]
Adam Busby
We filmed it.
- [09:33]
Danielle Busby
This could have gone multiple directions the way that y' all cut it. And so it was just, like, very much they're, like, having to give them multiple. Multiple answers or multiple versions of answers for different questions. And, I mean, by the end of, like, a couch interview session, like, your brain is like scrambled eggs.
- [09:52]
Adam Busby
Yeah. That's why I, like, tonight interviews, when I could, like, have a glass of wine, just be like, this is exhausting. But I would say when you do all that for. For our world, too, because we had. We have had YouTube before that, and Adam, you know, gets that underlying view, and even with podcasts and stuff, like, he wants to do it. We've had employees and, like, people do this stuff for us at times. But when life changes and we're not in season, he's like, back on it. If production's in, like, someone would help, would help out or, like, whatever. But you really do get the full picture. Like, you do. So, like, you know what we talk about, you know what the story is, and you know how the edits are going to look. But when it's more than just you and there's other people who aren't there when you're filming it or when you're capturing it, it's so much harder for us to be aware of. Like, okay, what do they do with that? Because we don't necessarily talk to those people. So this is why I slowly understood why people who start somewhere therefore become producers, like, within their own, whatever they're filming, because it's easier for them to pull their minds together and throw those directions together and be in the know of those things.
- [11:12]
Danielle Busby
Yes. And that's like a big reason why we became executive producers of the show later on in, like, later seasons, because, you know, we would have so much input. Like, you'd learned so much, like, you're no longer naive to a lot of the stuff and, and so you give so much more input and direction on. On episodes and, and whatnot. But I mean, it was just funny because, like, I mean, even still to this day, because, like, we've done this podcast and we've talked about, you know, this, the show, and just like the way that things were edited and like, you know, and it didn't quite line up with reality. And that's why our podcast is more than reality. Like, we're so much more than, like, that, that caricature of us that you saw on tv because it was like, you know, literally like less than 1% of our life that was like, edited for a dramatic effect on tv.
- [12:04]
Adam Busby
You could be drinking water all day and still be dehydrated. And I didn't realize that until recently.
- [12:11]
Danielle Busby
Which sounds wrong, but it's not.
- [12:13]
Adam Busby
No, it's not. Without electrolytes, your body cannot actually absorb the water you're drinking. And that's something that I've been really focused on lately with the nutrition and health.
- [12:24]
Danielle Busby
And this is where a cure came in.
- [12:26]
Adam Busby
I started adding cure packets into my first glass of water in the morning before coffee, and I generally noticed a difference in the energy and my focus.
- [12:36]
Danielle Busby
And you're actually drinking your water now consistently.
- [12:40]
Adam Busby
But Cure is plant based, no added sugars, no artificial ingredients, and is formulated using the same science behind IV hydration therapy. So it's not just water. Your body actually uses it.
- [12:54]
Danielle Busby
And it tastes good too. And that definitely helps.
- [12:57]
Adam Busby
It really does. Watermelon and lemonade are my favorites. And the stick packs make it so easy. I keep them in my bag in the car everywhere.
- [13:06]
Danielle Busby
Which honestly is perfect for our life because we're always on the go.
- [13:11]
Adam Busby
Staying hydrated isn't just about drinking more water. It's about your body actually using it. That's what Cure does. Clean ingredients, real science, and it actually tastes good.
- [13:23]
Danielle Busby
Use our code more than for 20% off@cure hydration.com or you can find it on Amazon. Real ingredients, real hydration. Thank you, Cure, for sponsoring this episode. And we still get, like, comments from people. And that's a lot of them are like, now I feel like they come from Facebook because I feel like Facebook, it's like an older crowd that May not necessarily keep up with us. Like, you know, most, most of the stuff that we post like goes up on Instagram or goes up on YouTube. And so like, it's this older crowd, these, you know, of older people that are just like on Facebook and so they know us from tv. And then they may see, you know, like a clip from our podcast and it's just like a teaser about a subject that we're talking about on the podcast. And then they'll, they'll make an assumption or make a comment and literally you can tell that their entire comment is framed around what they remember from tv. And, and so it's just like, it's crazy like this far out from the television show that you're still getting comments like that and you're having to like, okay, well, clearly you don't, you haven't like, listened. Gone back and like listened to the
- [14:39]
Adam Busby
podcast or that they're not aware. But yeah, and it's fine.
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Danielle Busby
I mean, because like, you know, they'll make comments of like, I mean, how often Adam was always like this or the kids just always eat junk food. And, and you know, a lot of that was because, like on tv, like, you know, they're, they're. The TV crew is there at our house filming from the second the kids get home from school. Because that's like when you got us, like whenever they get out, if we're filming during the week, that's when we're all together. So it's like the second they get off the bus or we pick them up from school, you know, we'll film until dark almost till like the kids go to bed. And so like, you know, so whenever they get there, either the crew has like snacks and stuff for the kids and, and, and they craft services and stuff. So they're like grabbing snacks and, and we're just like in full on filming mode. And so like, we don't have time to, you know, stop and cook dinner because that.
- [15:39]
Adam Busby
All the time.
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Danielle Busby
That consumes time on the TV show. So like they will.
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Adam Busby
And you can't film dinner every single night.
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Danielle Busby
Yeah. So they wants to watch that. They would like fly in dinner. You know, they would like order out from wherever. So like I used to make comments to the producers. I was like, I'm sure, like, this has got to look weird on tv because I feel like every time we're eating on tv, it looks like a, it looks like a to go meal in our, in our dining room.
- [16:04]
Adam Busby
Yeah.
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Danielle Busby
Because it's just like, okay, deliver, you know, dinner, dinner Delivered like let's now just like. But those.
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Adam Busby
But it's funny that like people like dig into that. I'm like, that has nothing to do with like the episode or whatever. It's just with something to eat.
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Danielle Busby
Yeah.
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Adam Busby
I have a question. Okay, so which this question comes often? A lot. But I want to know. Well, what? Before I ask the question, I want to make a comment to what you're just saying about like older crowd and like people still making comments like, oh, I didn't know y' all had a podcast or whatever. But what's weird is that we also forget that things can go worldwide and not everybody was seeing outdaughtered when it was coming out. Like some countries were year two years later.
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Danielle Busby
Yeah.
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Adam Busby
And so running into people just anywhere and they're like, oh my gosh, these are the girls. Look how old they are. Like, they still think they're like six, seven years old, you know, from not the last time we filmed. But like, it's big change. Like when you get to that, like double digits, like it's a game changer. Like your kids are not like little kids anymore, you know?
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Danielle Busby
Yeah.
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Adam Busby
So what the question I was going into was what, like, dead honest opinion. Do you see us back in the TV world?
- [17:35]
Danielle Busby
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- [18:29]
Adam Busby
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- [18:52]
Danielle Busby
Thank you, Pocket Host, for sponsoring this episode.
- [18:55]
Adam Busby
I'm not asking who or what or with or under none of that. Do you foresee us sharing in that capacity again?
- [19:05]
Danielle Busby
I mean, it's one of those things of, like, right now in my brain, like, I. I don't see it, but I will not close the door on it. I mean, just like, you know, in. In past, like, we've gone on. Done in, like, Us Weekly and People magazine and gone on Entertainment Tonight, and they always ask, like, are you gonna try for a boy? Are you gonna have. Have another kid?
- [19:32]
Adam Busby
Stupidest question. And I had a hysterectomy.
- [19:35]
Danielle Busby
And. Yeah, but. And so, like, we. You know, you never know what God's going to put on your heart or what opportunity God may provide for us and, like, what. What door he may open. And so, like, yeah, in. In my mind right now, I don't see us doing that. But, you know, could God open up some other door, some other avenue where, you know, it's another form of us being able to tell a different part of our story either on another platform or another network or anything like that? And I. I don't necessarily. I'm not really going to say that, like, I would close the door on that. It would be something that we would have to pray about. And, like, you know, if we feel like God's, like, leading us in this direction now, I mean, just like. I mean, you never envisioned that you would be homeschooling the kids, but now you feel like God is, like, pushing you in this direction. And, you know, we feel like we have to follow and we have. We feel like we have to take that step.
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Adam Busby
Like, and he's closed a lot of doors.
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Danielle Busby
Like, what we've always said is, like, just obedience is like God shining that light on the next step in your life. And. And obedience is just like, taking that next step, not. Not worrying about, you know, 10 miles down the road. It's like, okay, let me take that step. And he's just wanting to see if you're going to take that step and, like, hey, how he's going to bless you through taking that next step. And so, you know, will. Will a door ever open up for that? I mean, we've had. I mean, we've had people here and there, like, inquire about, you know, would we or would we be interested or, you know, especially as the girls, you know, get into, like, teenage years, and it's like a drastic change of what outdaughtered look like Whenever we went off air, you know, having, you know, what they were probably 9, 8, 9 years old whenever we stopped filming. And, you know, to see, like, a change of them, like, all six of the girls, like, as teenagers and, like, what kind of change that looks like for our life. And, you know, it's a dramatic difference.
- [21:51]
Adam Busby
Yeah.
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Danielle Busby
And, you know, and our life has changed a ton since then, and just, like, how we. We navigate that and navigate life. And so, I don't know. I mean, yeah, right now, just, like, what I see in front of my face. No, but I'm. I don't think I would ever close the door completely on, like, what God may have for us. It's just one of those things of, like, you know, every now and then you're, like, you get a comment or you get a question or you get, you know, a statement of somebody with, like, this. This idea of our family just based off of, like, this little snippet they've. They've seen. And. And that's why that was, like, the whole reason of, like, creating this podcast is, like, to. Yeah, like, we're so much more than that. And, like, we want to, like, share our heart and share, you know, our thought process behind things and kind of peel back the layers a little bit and show you, like, what you may not have seen and stuff like that. And, like. Like, I got a question. I got a comment from, like, some lady that I responded to, like, talking about, like, how I was, like, on the show. Like. Like, it was what it was whenever I was going through that season of depression and, you know, how I chose to, like, kind of navigate that on the TV show. But it was just the way that she framed it, like, in her view. And she was like, Adam was. Adam was just so selfish. And, you know, knowing that you. He has this family and he was only focused on himself and he quit his job and. And all this stuff, and. But, yeah, you may have, like, saw that and could have taken that from that whole storyline on the TV show, but I'm like, man, like, the way that I see that and the way that we navigated that, it was actually, like, the most unselfish way of doing that, because I could have just hid that for the world. But I feel like God has given us these circumstances and this story in our life, and, you know, it would have been a waste for me to not steward that well in that time of just being open and honest and sharing that with the world, because, you know, my mindset through that is like, you know, God. God Gives us, you know, our life in this story. And, like, he puts situations in front of us and. And how we navigate that and how we. How we trust him in that and grow through that, you know, And God's going to use that story to minister to other people. And so, you know, I saw that as, like, I had a duty to just be open and honest and just like.
- [24:42]
Adam Busby
Yeah. And it was something so far out that men especially don't share, talk about. And it did help. And we would receive messages after messages like, how much this, like, saved people's marriages. And, like, Adam opening up about that, making way for conversation for, you know, a husband or a wife to, like, open the door of conversation of, like, hey, that sounds like you, like, do you. You know, and so people are going to take good or bad from no matter what. Right. But in our world, when I would say going through a situation that is real and hard and your life is being captured, it is almost harder not to get that realness than it is to fake it, in a sense, because it would have been so much more stressful and harder for you to just hide it. To hide.
- [25:40]
Danielle Busby
Which that's what I was doing up to that point. Yeah. Was hiding it. And it was only me.
- [25:46]
Adam Busby
You want to know a secret?
- [25:48]
Danielle Busby
No. A secret time.
- [25:51]
Adam Busby
I don't know if you're gonna like it. You don't know how many conversations I had behind the scenes with certain people.
- [25:58]
Danielle Busby
How many times I was seriously wrong with Adam.
- [26:01]
Adam Busby
How many times I would be crying with someone because you're not in this scene or you're not on this couch interview or whatever. That I'm, like, having my own, like, mental breakdown. This was before you vocalize that. Because I didn't know and because, I mean, no, like, you. You would never know that. Like, just frustrations and like.
- [26:23]
Danielle Busby
Yeah.
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Adam Busby
Why does he.
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Danielle Busby
Yeah, because I, like, completely regressed from, like, just social, like, socially, like, just, like, I. I was in such, like, this depression through that season. You don't see anything where.
- [26:39]
Adam Busby
In that state either, you know?
- [26:41]
Danielle Busby
Yeah. Not aware where, like, I was so, like, lethargic about everything in my life. Like, I just felt like I was just going through the motions, just trying to get through the day because, like, I just had this, like, such a heavy weight on me.
- [26:55]
Adam Busby
Do you feel like you have in and outs or have, like, feelings like that at all now since then?
- [27:02]
Danielle Busby
Yeah, I mean, I still struggle with that, for sure. I mean, but it was like the tools and the. That God gave me, you know, through people, through prayer, through Just people coming in my life and like, speaking into it. I mean, one of the big ones was like, Jared Wilson, God rest his soul, you know, helped me so much through that. But even to this day, I mean, like, you know, I still struggle and, and fight against like, you know, just getting in that, that mindset and that rhythm of. Because like, a lot of it was just at that time, especially at that time, like, I felt like I was burning at both ends. We were filming the TV show full time. I was still working full time and also working to build up, you know, like, our brand and our business and like everything, you know, for one thing, like, being a dad and trying to provide through this life changing scenario that you're hit with and like, you're just looking to the future and like, okay, like, how can I set us up for as best as possible as a family? But also, you know, like, you know, whether it was like the media and video production company that I was like starting the YouTube stuff and I was trying to find a way out, I was trying to find a way out of something's gotta give and it's gonna be the thing that keeps me away from my family the most. And at that time it was, you know, we were filming the show full time, but I was also working full time and like, I had work like pulling me away and like, I was having to work these projects and stuff. And you know, and there was a lot of times where like, I was not able to like, even see the kids very much because, like, I was working these long projects and I was gone before the kids were up and I was, and I was home literally either right before they went to bed or, or sometimes even after. And like, that was affecting me so much. And it felt like, yeah, I was doing all these things to help my family, but I wasn't helping you. And I wasn't being a good dad to them and I wasn't present.
- [29:26]
Adam Busby
I think you just became aware of.
- [29:28]
Danielle Busby
And like I was feeling the weight of everything all at the same time. And then, you know, we were filming and then I was working full time. And so like I was, you know, I would get home from work and you know, like, just getting off work, you just feel like you, you need, you know, a good at the least like 15 minutes just to like kind of decompress, like after work. And it was like every day I'd get home from work and as I'm like pulling into my driveway, you're met with like a sound guy walking up to my truck with Like a microphone and you're just like, like, I just want 15 minutes. And. And then you could just never turn it off. Like, it was just like, okay, you know, now we're gonna go, go, go until late at night. And. And so like, so I was trying to. And then after we would film, then I would work on like all of my video stuff and photo stuff. And I would be working on that till probably 2 and 3 o' clock in the morning. And so like, I was just getting burned out. I was burnout. I was burnt, burning at both ends. And I'm like, man, something's got to give. And so I was just pouring my time and energy into. And then at that time it was like our YouTube channel. And because our YouTube channel was doing really well and I had some other small projects and stuff going on, I was trying to make those work and some other collaborations and stuff that we were doing. And I was trying to get that to a point where that at least matched my income in my career so that I could like drop something. And so like it was. I was just spending all that time and energy into like, okay, I can just grind and grind and grind and work myself to the bone so that I could let go of something.
- [31:15]
Adam Busby
And so I want to stop right there because I want to speak this into those who, or listening who could probably relate or have some type of comment towards that. And I would say that above all, I know people are placed in careers and jobs that they just are unhappy. But I think what in one aspect of us realizing and Adam walking through is that if you're not having joy in that career, there is something else better that you can find time. Maybe you won't make as much money, maybe you'll. Maybe life will be different. It doesn't matter what. But joy needs to come before the miserableness of I have to do this. I get we have to have to do at times in life where we have to do what we have to do to provide for a family. I mean, I think my life growing up was based around that and doesn't mean that those of you who are in a career and you have some, some life adjustment and you're just not finding joy anymore, I challenge you to say, okay, God, open doors for me to change this. And I mean this. And Adam and I would go back and forth and Arkham, like, I not comfortable with that. You know, we have a lot of like P's and Q's dotted and crossed with. With what structure we have right now. And we're going to be drastically changing things. But all in all to say is that we took away a lot, and a lot of hard came from that, but we also gained the. The dynamics of a family that we were trying to, you know, creating culture around.
- [33:09]
Danielle Busby
Of.
- [33:10]
Adam Busby
Of finding joy even amongst all of it, you know, yeah, 60 diapers a day.
- [33:16]
Danielle Busby
Yeah. And so, like, I was just trying to find something that would, you know, that was, like, mine, that I could control, that could give me, like, freedom to be able to, like, provide for my family, but also spend as much time with my family at the same time. And because, you know, God's given us the story, and God's, like, given me these gifts and that I could use for that. And, you know, there was also something that was also, like, in the back of my mind of being a dad of six daughter, wife and six daughters that I don't know if I ever really talked much about, like, on social media or even the podcast, but it was, like, kind of in the beginning stages of that season, they kind of sent me off into this, like, just worrying about, like, myself in the future. Uh, I was running this project at a refinery in Beaumont, Texas, and I was in my office that was, like, really close to, like, the project that they were working on, this turnaround project where they were having to, like, bring this unit down, rebuild it, and get it back up and running. And there was an explosion at the unit that literally, like, knocked the bookshelves down in my. I mean, it was, like, a hard explosion, like, kind of knocked me out of my chair, ran to the door, and all I saw was flames as high as I could see, like, and just people running. And. And that's what got me, like, thinking in the direction of, like, I don't want to put myself in this situation, because what if something. Because, you know, my dad was a fire chief and, like, head of safety for Phillips in Lake Charles. And so, like, I ran to my truck, got in my truck, and just took off. You're not supposed to do that, but I did it just to try to get away from the unit. And I got as far away as I could, and then I called my dad. I'm like, hey, you know, we had an explosion. And he's like, what unit was it? And I told him the unit. And he's like, oh, my gosh. He's like, there was only one explosion. And I said, yeah. And he's like, you dodged a big one. And he's like, there would have been a secondary explosion. Like, we wouldn't be talking right now. And that's what really got me, like, man, like, I don't want to be here. Like, what. What if something drastic would have happened that day? And, you know, here I am, like, in leaving Danielle and six daughters, and. And that was it.
- [36:00]
Adam Busby
Yeah, well, that's what it took, you
- [36:02]
Danielle Busby
know, and so, you know, and so it was like. That was like, the beginning of just, like, this downward spiral. Just, like, always having that in the back of my mind. Like, I don't want to be in here. Because a lot of times, like, we would be in a. In an area that was, like, close to the unit that was. We were working in that was, like, coming down. And that just, like, that always stayed in the back of my mind, like, what if something bad happens? Because that's, like, that. That's whenever the units are the most volatile, whenever you're bringing them down and then when you're bringing them back up. And that's whenever I was there. And so, you know, that was just one of those things. And then. So that always stayed in the back of my mind. And then, you know, I'm just trying to, like, work, to, like, build all this other stuff so that I could walk away and. And also have something as a backup plan that would provide for my family. And so, you know, like, so you'd get these messages from people, like, now, years down the road, like, saying, I was so selfish through that time, and I'm like, man, like, if you only meet, Like, a TV show never showed that kind of stuff. And, like, if you only knew, like, what was really going through my head. Like, the hours and hours that I was, like, spending, you know, just, like, trying to just scratch and claw and to, like, figure something out, all the while just dealing with, like, this crippling, like, anxiety and depression at the same time, and then being open about it. Like, man, that was about the most selfless thing that I could have done at the time. But then, you know, the outside perspective, somebody watching the TV show, they're, like, calling me just, like, this selfish jerk. Like, man, like. And that just shows, like, how little. Well, how little you see.
- [37:56]
Adam Busby
You actually see. Yeah.
- [37:57]
Danielle Busby
Of people's lives and, like, what's really going on. And, like, how can you make a. A judgment call on something on someone's life that you really don't see much of? Like, a lot of people just thought that they saw the TV show, and it was like, you know, that's every bit of our life. And that was, like, less than probably 1%. And.
- [38:20]
Adam Busby
And listen, like, I. There are a lot of times, like, we reference and we talk about and we'll go back and forth talking about the show, and we do that because it has been our life ever since we've been a family of eight. Pretty much. Very little after we became a family of eight, this all happened. So when we had the quints and they came home and all the things like we were filming. And so there's so much of our growth life of becoming parents of six kids has been captured. And so when we talk about the show, it's just us talking about because that's what was going on.
- [39:00]
Danielle Busby
You can't share one thing with.
- [39:02]
Adam Busby
Without the other, because it was all the same time. You know, I don't at all regret even using the word regret. There's not a lot of things I regret in life at all. Because something we have learned from.
- [39:17]
Danielle Busby
Yeah.
- [39:18]
Adam Busby
And if you can look at something and look back and say, like, man, you know, God covered us there, like, this was a stepping stone for this next season. And what this did, what struggles we went through and what we may have shared on air or whatnot, was never, ever in our world of being Christians and knowing that we're going to go through trials and learn something, and it might be super, super hard. And I believe I've gone through some extreme trials and. And I want to be able to help someone else that's going to go through that. Now, that doesn't mean that, you know, I may ever meet that person face to face, that they watched a show or they listened to a podcast or they read a book or something, but it can happen. And that is a lot. You know, a lot of people just, like, keep things in and it's all about them, and it's blah, blah, blah. It's like, the more I can achieve, and it's like, dude, where are you going with that? Because this life is temporary, right? And I know that, like, I want to be able to spend eternity in heaven and be able to see all my loved ones and my kids and my family and my friends and. And everybody in heaven, you know, but not everybody perceives and understands. Why did you do that? Why do you do this? Why do y'? All. Why did y' all film? Would you ever film again? And it's like, listen, we're doing what we feel called to. And, like, I mean, I am still mind blown by the fact that I'm going to homeschool quintuplets in the next school semester.
- [40:58]
Danielle Busby
Yeah.
- [40:59]
Adam Busby
Like, and you never, ever would have Ever like that is a God vision put into my life, prayed about, fought about, and over the year seen little bits and pieces of, like, the light coming in the light and just follow the light because it's going to lead to goodness, you know. And so I do believe that whatever is in store come, you know, this summer and then what next semester looks like, like it's going to be good because, like, he wouldn't bring us this far and leave us because he never does.
- [41:30]
Danielle Busby
I mean, especially, like, looking at. Since you've been. Since you have opened up and started talking about, like, this new journey that you're going to embark on or we're going to embark on, mostly you.
- [41:44]
Adam Busby
I love when people say, oh, y' all are homeschooling.
- [41:47]
Danielle Busby
I'm like, this is going to be a heavy lift on you because I am gone a lot. But. But to see how many people have come to you like, that I've witnessed and approach you, like, man, just like, from you talking about it now, it's got me thinking, you know.
- [42:08]
Adam Busby
Well, and I think because homeschool has always been perceived as like, this underground.
- [42:15]
Danielle Busby
Yeah. Isolation type and weird kids.
- [42:18]
Adam Busby
Yeah. And so I just. It's so different.
- [42:21]
Danielle Busby
It's so different.
- [42:23]
Adam Busby
I will say I was gonna say something now I'm having, like, one of those brain farts, but shoot. What was it? It was probably really good, too. Dang it. What did you just say? A while ago, I was just talking
- [42:38]
Danielle Busby
about, like, all the people that have come up to you and said that now they are, you know, considering it or thinking about it or thinking about putting, you know, pulling their kids out and going through home school.
- [42:54]
Adam Busby
You remember now I had a revelation last Tuesday. Did we film a podcast last Tuesday? Yeah, I don't think we did on Tuesday either. Tuesday or Wednesday.
- [43:05]
Danielle Busby
I think we did last week.
- [43:06]
Adam Busby
So it was.
- [43:07]
Danielle Busby
Or something.
- [43:07]
Adam Busby
It was whatever week. So, like, we had spring break and this was like a. For a while. This was like the first. You know, I'm still going. I'm still going through a lot of first. Not like having like that career, like, outside of the home type of thing. And I was. Had a conversation with some girlfriends and I kind of got emotional. And that's when you know, wow, this is sent from heaven. When Danielle gets emotional about a feeling. But I did. But it was so. It was so, like, to me, it was so ridiculous sounding, but it meant so much for something like just ridiculous. And I said, I realized at that moment right when I was talking to, like, these girlfriends was as much as our kids might get on my nerves, I want them around. And I experienced that ex. And. And I feel like we're around all the time. All the time. Right. But the. The change in that statement was because this was the first time I saw life differently. When we were on spring break, we went. Adam was going for work and had things. He's going to be in and out, whatever. But we went because spring break started. So I was doing things with the girls, and he's working, which is a very typical, like. And it was just, like, a forecast of, like, what I saw. It didn't happen in the moment on spring break. This was like, the week after. And. And I was just struggling. I'm like, why? I feel like I'm struggling. You know, we came from spring break. Now we're getting back in routine, and, you know, kids are in school, and that's usually like, when moms are like, huh? You know? But I was kind of, like, feeling low, and I thought, why do I feel low? And in that moment, I said, wow. It's because I realized I had so much joy. Like, I'm emotional. I had so much joy last week because I got to experience so many fun things with the girls. And it was just a forecast to, like, how I feel. Fall will be, you know, because we will be a lot of time together and homeschool will be hard. But I know because I love adventure. And I don't get. I don't like being stuck inside that. I will make something of it. And I like new, and I like to create, and I like to do, and I like to see and make something come to life. Like, I just see. I saw for that moment, like, man, we're gonna have fun. And so I believe what people tell me when they say, you're gonna have. You're gonna enjoy it, and you don't know it. I know that you're going to. And so it was just one of those moments where it was like a God, a God wink that it just all came together. And I was like, I trust. I trust this now. Like, it's going to be good. I still don't know what we're doing, but. Or what curriculum and all the things. But that stresses me out. But I have this piece about it's going to be so good because it was just a mild glimpse of. Adam is working. He's here, but he's not here when he's in his office. And then there's this when he is out of. Out of town, how I do. I do I'm like, okay, like, what are we going to do today? Like, what are we going to do today? You know, and it gives me a sense of, like, just a, you know, a little bit of control and, you know, but I am. I'm Mom. I gotta, like, rally it up and get the stuff done and all the things. And so I know it's going to be good because that moment after things align and God showed me and brought me forward, and I was just like, okay. And I'm emotional because it's so good. I know it's going to be so good, and I trust that peaceful moment.
- [46:59]
Danielle Busby
Yeah.
- [46:59]
Adam Busby
Doesn't mean it's going to be easy going forward all the time. It's going to be perfect. And so much joy and peace all the time. But because I experienced that in this emotion of that sense of joy, it overturns all the hard that's going to come through it, you know, in the trials that we might have. So I just thought it was interesting, you saying, like, it's. Because you tell me it's. It's just gonna fall on your plate. It's gonna be hard. I'm like, I know. Like, why am I doing this? But it was very beautiful to me, what we. How we just ended up going to, you know, Phoenix with y' all and having that time where I'm like, I took them on a hike myself, and things that I'm like, Adam is gonna have so much FOMO because he loves to do this stuff, too. And, like, I was still doing things with them, and then I got the mix, or it's like, okay, like, dad's here. So now this is what. This is our plan today, and we're gonna do this and this. You know, it just was such a different thing. And I feel like we do that all the time, but it was just so different. Yeah. So.
- [48:04]
Danielle Busby
Yeah. And I feel like so many things recently, I feel like we're hitting a
- [48:08]
Adam Busby
lot of different things on this podcast.
- [48:09]
Danielle Busby
So many things recently, I've, like, kind of given me, like, those reminders or those thoughts in my head about, you know, this time that we have with them is so fleeting.
- [48:19]
Adam Busby
Yeah.
- [48:20]
Danielle Busby
And it was like some. Some video I watched on some, like, it may have been a podcast. Just somebody, like, commentating on, like. Like, being a dad and just, you know, and thinking of the mindset of. And we mentioned it a few weeks ago on the podcast is like, instead of, like, just kind of getting consumed in the moment of everything that's going on, but, like, really take a Step back and think, thinking backwards, of like, how, how many summers we have left, how much, you know, how many years are. Do we have left until they're gone.
- [48:57]
Adam Busby
And it's like one of my favorite things. You ask the kids, do you want to. Do you want. What do you want for your birthday or do you want to go do something every time they're going to say, we want to go do something every time. Because, like, I love that we are experiencing and creating that culture with our kids that like, it's not about the things, things in the stuff. It's about being together, quality time, family time. And family could be family, friends, like just your people, you know.
- [49:29]
Danielle Busby
Yeah. And so, I mean, and then it was like right after that and then, and then we. We have like a little Bible study with some friends of ours. And so like the girls kind of meet together and then the guys were meeting alone and, and, and so like us guys were just talking about that. And I, like, I brought that up and you know, we have some kids and so many different stages of life, like throughout the guys in the group, you know, like one he's got, you
- [50:00]
Adam Busby
know, from high school to like a
- [50:02]
Danielle Busby
senior in high school. And then one that's, you know, like a toddlers or something, you know, and then. Yeah. And then another one he has, you know, kids as our youngest, four years old. And so, like, very much so different stages. And you're all kind of giving like our current perspective of life and like, you know, the changes that we're seeing right now in our kids and kind of like warning the other of like, this is what you're going to be looking forward to or what you're going to come to terms with, you know, once they get to this age and stuff. And just talking about just how that time is fleeting.
- [50:39]
Adam Busby
And then you have the people with the older kids that are giving you
- [50:43]
Danielle Busby
views of like, hey, what I was
- [50:45]
Adam Busby
time that you have left, what I
- [50:47]
Danielle Busby
wouldn't do to have time back. Yeah, exactly. And you know, it was just like, it's all for, you know, like, what kind of legacy do you want to leave with your kids and what kind of experiences do you want to give your kids where. And it may be just like, you know, I heard, I watched this video not long ago, and I was just talking about like, how many, how many experiences that you went through in your life that, that are like core memories of like, your childhood and stuff with like, your family. But at the time that you were going through that, like, you never once thought, like, okay. While I'm going through that, this is going to be a core memory that I take with me forever.
- [51:29]
Adam Busby
Absolutely.
- [51:30]
Danielle Busby
Yeah. And so like, how many of those moments are your kids having each day where, you know, it may just be an everyday Thursday for them, but later on in life because, you know, just the legacy you're building with your kids, they're gonna, they're gonna look at that moment in time. You're molding them and teaching and remember like, you know, what, what life was like with, at home with my parents and stuff like that. And that's, that's going to be the things that they remember and hold on to, you know, whenever they're adults and like telling their kids or telling their friends, like, hey, this is what, you know, my parents were like whenever we were growing up. And these are the experiences my parents gave me and you know, in telling these stories about their parents to their friends, you know, in their adult life. And you know, so it's just all about, you know, I'm just thinking more about like that legacy you're leaving your kids so that you will prompt them to want to come back and want to, you know, live like this multi generational life with you and their grant, you know, your grandkids and stuff and them coming back. And so I mean, it's just all about, you know, just having a different perspective on life now. Yeah. And I don't know, getting in feelings, I guess.
- [52:56]
Adam Busby
So are you gonna make a song about that? I'm just kidding.
- [52:59]
Danielle Busby
Maybe so
- [53:02]
Adam Busby
button. Anyways, this is a lot. I feel like we blur that a lot of things today, but I feel like it's good. I feel like, I think also to those that listen, I'm bad at this too myself. I am not a commenter on a lot of things that I watch or like or whatever. Um, but I would think we actually appreciate the support of if you're listening to make a comment or to like, whatever, because that, that just helps us. I don't know how to explain it. It just helps us know that you're listening. That, you know, maybe even if you don't agree with us, we want to be able to talk about it. I want to talk about it. You know, I like to debate a little bit, but it just is appreciative for the way that the world of this type of like, you know, this is an income for us, we do a podcast, we, you know, have income off of this. And so we appreciate the engagement to help that and to better things too. You know, we don't want to stop here. We want to keep going forward and whatever aspect that looks like. But I just say that because I'm bad at leaving comments and saying I love this or this is great or whatever's.
- [54:38]
Danielle Busby
Yeah.
- [54:38]
Adam Busby
Even just a heart. Just, just something. It just to me. I'll speak for me. Helps me. It helps reassure that this is valuable to you.
- [54:47]
Danielle Busby
Yeah.
- [54:47]
Adam Busby
And not just us talking to a
- [54:49]
Danielle Busby
microphone, you know, if, like kind of pushes us to keep going.
- [54:53]
Adam Busby
Yeah, there you go.
- [54:54]
Danielle Busby
And gives us the opportunity and gives us, like, the opportunities to keep going, you know, through, like, your engagement, through the likes, through, you know, the views and stuff like that. Like that the podcast is doing well. And so obviously sponsors come along and stuff and like supporting our sponsors and stuff like does that. So we thank you guys for. For supporting our sponsors and for, you know, all the comments and the likes and, you know, continuing to stick with Rally the Busbys. Yeah. So we thank you guys for. For sticking with us.
- [55:31]
Adam Busby
Yeah.
- [55:31]
Danielle Busby
Through all these years. Yeah. And.
- [55:33]
Adam Busby
And I'm sure there's a lot. A lot more to come.
- [55:36]
Danielle Busby
Yeah. A lot more changes, especially through this. A lot more through these homeschool years. It'll be interesting.
- [55:43]
Adam Busby
Yeah.
- [55:44]
Danielle Busby
All the stories that are going to come through that. So thank you guys for tuning in to episode 76. All right, thanks for the reality podcast.
- [55:53]
Adam Busby
Bye, guys.
- [55:54]
Danielle Busby
In the next one. We love you guys.
- [56:16]
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- [56:21]
Danielle Busby
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- [56:46]
Danielle Busby
Long drive ahead. TikTok shows road trip spots, car hacks, travel playlists, best routes, hidden cafes, scenic stops. Drive smarter. Explore more. Download TikTok now.