EP 82 - The Part of Me That Keeps Messing Up

Summary

More Than Reality with Adam and Danielle Busby
Episode 82: The Part of Me That Keeps Messing Up
Release Date: May 7, 2026

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Episode Overview

In this heartfelt and vulnerable episode, Adam and Danielle Busby reflect on personal growth, the struggle with self-sabotage, and the deep desire for real change. Drawing inspiration from a profound podcast moment shared by comedian Theo Vaughn, they discuss what it means to confront the parts of ourselves that "keep messing up," why transformation can be terrifying, and how faith, vulnerability, and persistent self-awareness make growth possible. Through raw discussion, biblical references, and personal stories, they offer empathy, actionable advice, and encouragement for anyone navigating the tension between who they are and who they want to become.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Spark: Theo Vaughn's Vulnerable Moment (15:55, 16:39, 22:12)

• Adam introduces the episode’s theme, pointing to a viral, honest confession by comedian Theo Vaughn about wanting a "new story" for his life and wrestling with real change.
• Danielle praises Theo’s courage to express his battle between comfort in the familiar, and the longing for transformation—an inner conflict they both relate to.

Quote

“It’s been a good story and it served me well, but I don’t want that story anymore. ...I want a new story, dude. And it’s crazy for me to even say that, but I think I want a new story. ...That’s one thing that I’m asking God for.” – Theo Vaughn (16:39–17:54)

• Adam highlights how public vulnerability like Theo’s can be rare and powerful, inviting empathy and relating it to their own moments of struggle.

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2. Personal Stories: Broken Dishwashers and Broken Cycles (2:26–14:00)

• Adam and Danielle share everyday life vignettes—Adam taking on solo-dad responsibilities during Danielle’s girls’ trip, grappling with minivan repairs and a broken dishwasher—all set against common frustrations and the humor of daily chaos.
• These moments underscore the theme: the persistence of small “messes” mirrors larger patterns in life.

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3. Wrestling with Change and the Cost of Vulnerability (18:02–19:35, 23:26–24:21)

• Adam discusses how the desire for change often collides with fear of letting go—of comfort, identity, or means of survival (“This is what I know, and this is what brings me an income...”).
• Danielle relates, describing seasons of praying for change while holding back, fearing the loss or implications for herself and those around her.

Quote

“It’s like, if I drop this and I give this up and I go to this, what God’s wanting me to do, I don’t have any control over anymore. And that’s what’s scary.” – Adam Busby (18:37–19:06)

• The Busbys connect this struggle to real-life situations (e.g., tough medical decisions, career pivots), emphasizing that obedience, trust, and vulnerability are sowed in fear and uncertainty.

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4. Biblical Parallels & Spiritual Tension (22:12–32:07)

• Theo’s reference to John 5—Jesus asking a sick man, “Do you want to be healed?”—resonates deeply. The couple explore the implications: what if healing means losing an identity, support system, or sense of control?
• Adam reads from Romans 7:18–25, highlighting Paul’s timeless articulation of the human tendency to do the very things we wish we wouldn’t. Danielle affirms the universality of this inner conflict.

Quote

“I want to do what is right, but I can’t. I want to do what is good, but I don’t. ...There is another power within me that is at war with my mind. ...Thank God, the answer is in Jesus Christ.” – Adam Busby reading Romans (28:34–30:59)

• Danielle points out that fear of change, and fear of being unliked or abandoned, holds many back. Yet, being vulnerable—first to oneself, then to God and others—can be life-giving, even if it’s scary.

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5. Patterns, Loops, and the Reality of Repeated Failure (31:19–35:43)

• They discuss the cyclical nature of self-sabotage: how, despite genuine intentions, so many find themselves back in old behaviors or mindsets.
• Both admit to ongoing struggles with this pattern in their own lives.
• Adam stresses that the process is lifelong: “I still struggle with this every single day.” (35:08)

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6. Practical Steps for Growth and Change (40:31–43:58)

Danielle and Adam share practical advice for breaking negative cycles:

• Stop Extreme Promises: Instead of "I'll never do this again," try "I'm working on this. I'm taking steps."
• Notice Your Patterns: Become aware of triggers and when you revert to old habits.
• Bring It Into the Light: Share struggles with someone else. Vulnerability breaks shame and secrecy.
• Give Yourself Grace: Growth isn’t linear—setbacks are not final. “Give yourself room to grow...not as an excuse, but as a process.” – Danielle (42:12–43:58)

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7. Family, Faith, and the Cost of Being Real (43:58–50:04)

• The Busbys share how shifting from their TV persona to podcasting—and bringing their faith front and center—was both liberating and costly.
• They lost some followers but gained a deeper purpose and new connections through their vulnerability and honest storytelling.

Quote

“You got a business mind...You want it to be successful. But we cannot continue to do what the world says we need to do. We need to do what God has called us to do.” – Danielle Busby (46:43–47:40)

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8. The Encouragement: Do You Want to Be Different? (50:04–56:15)

• They circle back to Theo Vaughn’s question: “Do I want to be different, or do I want to stay the same?”
• Danielle encourages listeners: “You’re not called to be the same. Be different. Be like Jesus. It causes us to be different, you know?” (52:18–52:43)
• The story of Peter’s failure and eventual growth becomes a metaphor for how we can make mistakes, yet still step into new leadership and transformation.

Quote

“Your repeated struggle...might not be proof that you’re stuck. It might be proof that you’re in the process.” – Danielle Busby (55:15)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Theo Vaughn:
  “It’s been a good story and it served me well, but I don’t want that story anymore... That’s one thing that I’m asking God for—a new story.” (16:39)
• Adam Busby:
  “It was so cool just to hear him articulate that in such a vulnerable way... so many people relate to it.” (19:06)
• Danielle Busby:
  “Being vulnerable is life-giving to yourself—even when it’s so hard to open up, there’s healing within that.” (19:35)
• Adam Busby (on Romans):
  “Oh, what a miserable person I am. Who will free me from this life that is dominated by sin and death? Thank God—the answer is in Jesus Christ, our Lord.” (30:47)
• Danielle Busby:
  “You can be genuine and you can still fall short... Matthew 26:41 says the Spirit is willing but the flesh is weak. The flesh is you.” (36:31)
• Danielle Busby:
  “Your repeated struggle, it might not be proof that you’re stuck. It might be proof that you’re in the process.” (55:15)

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Important Timestamps

• 00:03–01:21 — Theo Vaughn’s initial reflections and the Busbys’ emotional response
• 02:26–13:15 — Everyday family chaos, broken appliances/vehicles, and the parallel to life’s frustrations
• 16:39–18:01 — Theo Vaughn’s core vulnerability: wanting a new story
• 22:12–23:56 — “Do you want to be healed?” (John 5): exploring fear of real change
• 28:34–30:59 — Romans 7 on the war within ourselves
• 40:31–43:58 — Practical steps for breaking harmful patterns: mercy, accountability, and incremental growth
• 53:37–55:53 — Peter’s story: from denial to transformation; growth continuing after failure

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Conclusion & Final Encouragement

Through stories, scripture, and practical wisdom, Adam and Danielle invite listeners to embrace the messy, non-linear process of growth and faith. They remind their audience—and themselves—that vulnerability and grace are the bridge to real change, and transformation is possible, even when old cycles seem insurmountable.

Final Word:
“Your repeated struggle, it might not be proof that you’re stuck. It might be proof that you’re in the process. ...Be honest enough to say, ‘There’s a part of me I’m still struggling with.’ Instead of hiding it, you face it, you work on it, you invite the growth, even if you’re not perfect yet.” – Danielle Busby (55:15)

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Transcript

[Theo Vaughn]

It's been a good story, and it served me well, but I don't want that story anymore.

[Danielle Busby]

It's like this battle within yourself and what you want, but you're so scared of, like, what is it going to do to me and the people around me?

[Theo Vaughn]

So that's just been something that I've been having to ask myself. It's like, do I want to be healed? Do I really want something different?

[Adam Busby]

The first time I listen to that, like, it had me in tears as, like, you see him. You see the pain in his eyes as he's just wrestling with that and just, like, soaking in it. All the. All the rough spots that we've been through over the last few years and the struggles and, like, man, God, take this from us right now. This is tough. This is hard, and you want it fixed right now, and you. You want to trust him, but it's so hard because it's hard. But time after time after time again, God showed up in his timing, which was always the right timing. Whenever you step out and you admit you don't have it all figured out. Like, you, like, I can't do this. And God's gonna meet you in that weakness, and he's gonna carry you through. Yeah.

[Danielle Busby]

This is More Than Reality Podcast, where we dive into all things faith, family, and marriage and share that there is so much more than the reality that you see on the surface. Welcome to More Than Reality with Adam and Danielle Busby.

[Adam Busby]

Hello.

[Danielle Busby]

Hello. I don't hear myself. Hello.

[Adam Busby]

Hello.

[Danielle Busby]

I was actually gonna cough, and I thought the mic was already on.

[Adam Busby]

And then mute the mic while Danielle is. I mean, while the intro is going.

[Danielle Busby]

Oh.

[Adam Busby]

Because, like, Daniel will randomly, like, start talking. I'm like, wait, let me mute it, because it'll, like, speak over the top of the intro.

[Danielle Busby]

So episode Eddie two. That was three.

[Adam Busby]

No. Welcome, guys, to episode 82 of More the Reality podcast.

[Danielle Busby]

Yeah. And we're Adam and Danielle busby. It is 82. I just looked.

[Adam Busby]

Yes.

[Danielle Busby]

So what's up? I mean,

[Adam Busby]

I was. I was Mr. Mom for the weekend.

[Danielle Busby]

No, you were just dad. But you were on solo dad duty.

[Adam Busby]

I was.

[Danielle Busby]

Did y' all do anything fun? Did you pull out the old make mom jealous handle and do anything fun with the kids?

[Adam Busby]

Because I think it didn't.

[Danielle Busby]

Oh, it was raining.

[Adam Busby]

It rained all weekend.

[Danielle Busby]

Oh, you did? Oh, yeah. Okay, I'll talk.

[Adam Busby]

Sucked, because.

[Danielle Busby]

Yeah, you're really just.

[Adam Busby]

I was at home with the kids, and it was just, like, pouring down. The weather was horrible all weekend. You can't go Outside you can't do anything.

[Danielle Busby]

Did they play in the rain at all?

[Adam Busby]

Oh yeah, yeah.

[Danielle Busby]

At least they did that. That's fun.

[Adam Busby]

I mean, luckily it wasn't like, like bad like thunderstorms. It was just rain, which we desperately needed. But it just sucks whenever like rain falls on a weekend.

[Danielle Busby]

Yeah, I know.

[Adam Busby]

I'd rather it just rained during the week.

[Danielle Busby]

Yeah, same. I don't know. But you. Yeah, it is. But it is hard getting in and out like kids to school and stuff. But. What's so funny? So I went to Nashville. Well, Franklin, Tennessee to little mini kind of like girls trip. We went to a little Lisa Bevere who I've asked to be like my adopted. I want her to adopt me as a grandchild. I just love her wisdom and just her and John, like they're just so inspirational and filled with wisdom and I love any opportunity I can to being in, you know, the same presence of her. And so she did like, she does like these monthly chats which is something that I'm gonna be starting to do too. And so it was a good. Just kind of like how does she do it? Trying to get like part of her like after the rain. I have another event coming up this year, but then trying to do like monthly get get togethers. And so it's cool to just see like her how she did it. And it was good. But I'm laughing because I go out of town and right before I go to town, like the dishwasher breaks. Well like a little A piece of like the.

[Adam Busby]

The drawer.

[Danielle Busby]

The drawer.

[Adam Busby]

The top drawer, like came off track and it. Yeah, that holds it in place like snapped off because it's plastic. And so yeah, eventually like goes out and so.

[Danielle Busby]

So I'm out of town.

[Adam Busby]

I ordered the parts right before you left.

[Danielle Busby]

Yeah. Kids are in school on Friday. Was it raining on Friday?

[Adam Busby]

Yeah.

[Danielle Busby]

Yeah. So it's raining on Friday. Adam's at home. I don't. He probably had meetings and stuff too, but like most of the day he was at home, I'm assuming.

[Adam Busby]

Yeah, I tried.

[Danielle Busby]

I didn't get to go play golf or nothing.

[Adam Busby]

No, cuz the weather was horrible and. But also I was just trying to take care of stuff.

[Danielle Busby]

I know. This is what I was going to say. I was going to say I'm like, when did you notice the dishwasher was broke? Actually that's my first question.

[Adam Busby]

It's been broke for like a few weeks now.

[Danielle Busby]

Great point. Okay, that goes great with my story. So then two, I'm out of town. So the dishwasher's been broke for at least a couple weeks, but it was still working. Honestly, it was still working. So. So dishwasher's been broke for a couple weeks. I go out of town for, like, this a little over a day and a half trip, and Adam's on dad duty. He brings the kids to school, and then he comes home and probably does a little bit of work, but then he's, like, on honeydew list without me asking, Right? And so I get a text, and he's, like, so proud. Dishwasher, fix the dishwasher.

[Adam Busby]

But then it isn't really fixed still.

[Danielle Busby]

But it's just so funny that, like,

[Adam Busby]

of the dishwasher, like, and then realize there's another problem.

[Danielle Busby]

Like, the affirmation that you need to be like, high five, babe. You fix the dishwasher.

[Adam Busby]

I just let you know it's fixed.

[Danielle Busby]

I know, I know, but. And then. And then you go on to text me. Brought the van to the shop. I'm like, man, what else is he gonna do today? Like, he's just on that list today of getting all the things fixed and repaired and stuff. So it felt good to go out of town.

[Adam Busby]

Van's still in the shop. I brought it. I brought it Thursday, like, at noon. I had some meetings in the morning, and then whenever I got back home, I'm like, I'm gonna run the van to have them, like, do a diagnostic on it.

[Danielle Busby]

Well, because we are going on.

[Adam Busby]

We have a road trip coming up,

[Danielle Busby]

right when school gets out, we're going to literally driving.

[Adam Busby]

Driving our van all the way to South Carolina. So, like, I don't want any issues on a long road trip like that, so.

[Danielle Busby]

And the AC in the back has been going in and out.

[Adam Busby]

I hate. And we will not putting our van in the shop.

[Danielle Busby]

Yes. It's so complicated.

[Adam Busby]

Every time that we've ever put our van in the shop, it's been at the dealer. Like, we bring it to the dealer. And anybody that knows about dealing with a car dealership and their service department, they take forever.

[Danielle Busby]

And the car could be there for four days before they even look.

[Adam Busby]

Our van. Our van has never been at the dealer less than probably three weeks.

[Danielle Busby]

Yeah.

[Adam Busby]

And so it's like, I dread. So we'll. We'll. You'll just, like, deal with issues, and

[Danielle Busby]

last time we rented a car because we had to have a.

[Adam Busby]

A bigger car, and so we'll just deal with stuff like, oh, this isn't working, but, like, I don't want to take it to the dealer. Because then we're going to be out of a car for almost a month.

[Danielle Busby]

Yeah.

[Adam Busby]

And so you just kind of deal with, like, little issues until it just becomes like, oh, like, we really need to address this. Yeah, we really need to address this because we're going on this long road trip, and I don't want to have any of these issues. And.

[Danielle Busby]

Well. And I don't want to hear the girls complain the whole time. It's so hot in the back.

[Adam Busby]

Yeah. But also, like, our van, just the type of van version van.

[Danielle Busby]

So it's a little bit more difficult.

[Adam Busby]

It has, like, this propensity to have.

[Danielle Busby]

Way to use a good word.

[Adam Busby]

Death wobble.

[Danielle Busby]

I don't even know what propensity means.

[Adam Busby]

But like, the. The front end of the van and the steering and stuff will eventually, like, it just wears out quickly. And so you'll be going, you know, and it. It feels like it most often happens whenever you're merging onto the interstate. That's whenever it happens most often. And so, you know, whenever it's coming on, it's going to start. Doing this more and more often is like, merging up onto the interstate. And all of a sudden, like, you hit like, a reflector or like a small pothole whenever you're at like, 45, 50 miles an hour. And then the. The wheels just start shaking like crazy and it shakes a whole van. I think there's an episode of the TV show where it did it.

[Danielle Busby]

Oh, yeah.

[Adam Busby]

And because we were just putting it off, like, man, that was the last

[Danielle Busby]

time the van was in the shop was that long.

[Adam Busby]

It needs to go in the shop. But, like, it's going to be there forever. And then nobody has, like, a rental vehicle. It's hard to find a rental vehicle bigger than a big. Big enough that we need. And so it's just always a pain. So you just kind of deal with it as long as possible. But then once it starts happening, it starts happening more and more frequently.

[Danielle Busby]

Yeah. So then after it happens, when it started, it happened in the past. It then went in the shop for a long time. A long time. And it got. And it hadn't been doing it. But then as wear and tear goes by, it's been years like it happened. And it's like, okay. And it freaks me out. So I'm like, I don't want to drive it.

[Adam Busby]

Yeah. Because you're on the interstate and all of a sudden, like, your. Your steering wheel is like.

[Danielle Busby]

It's not shaking.

[Adam Busby]

The whole van is shaking. I mean, liter girls are going Going down the road.

[Danielle Busby]

It's funny, but I'm like, terrified.

[Adam Busby]

And you have to slow down. You like, put. Hurry up and put your hazards on, and you got to slow down to like 30 miles an hour on the interstate to get it to like, stop shaking. And then you can speed up and it's fine. And then once you're at speed, like, it's like there's enough inertia in the steering where it's not going to do it again. Even if you like hit a pothole or something at speed, it's not going to do it. So it's just.

[Danielle Busby]

It's just.

[Adam Busby]

But it's just. It's nerve wracking. It's a pain in the butt to have to deal with.

[Danielle Busby]

And if someone owns a big van like this or a different van and wants to donate one and sponsor the

[Adam Busby]

podcast, I don't, I don't ever want to have like a big conversion van again. Because every single thing in the van is custom. And so.

[Danielle Busby]

So it gets complicated.

[Adam Busby]

It's hard to find parts. Like, you have to go straight to one place to get the parts and if they even have them or if it takes. It takes forever for them to get them or they may have to custom make them at like one off. And it's a pain.

[Danielle Busby]

Yeah.

[Adam Busby]

And so like our next van, if it's a big van like that, it's just going to be like a straight up sprinter van. Like, not all the plushy stuff in it. Like, we rented, we did like a Turo whenever the good ranchers crew, we went to Dallas and it was like, right. Whenever all the airline, the TSA agents were striking. So we're like, we're not gonna fly. We're gonna just caravan. And we rented this big sprinter van, 15 passenger sprinter van. And so it just had the standard sprinter van seating arrangement, but it did have the big TV in it, and that was like the only extra thing it had in it. I'm like, this is great. Like, because everything in it's like factory and like, I can bring it to a Ford dealership and like, they can probably fix anything. Like, no issue. It's not custom parts. Like, this is like the type of van we need right here. Like, it's got the tv. So long road trips, the girl girls can watch tv, but it's just.

[Danielle Busby]

What about the AC in the back? Because some of those bigger, like, they, like, the AC gets complicated, like. Yeah, but, like, they don't have vents in the back, which is annoying anyway. So. Yeah. So Adam Was on a little checking. Checking off the list that I didn't know I had. But he was, he was showing me that he was doing it.

[Adam Busby]

But now have the report to like get everything like fixed, changed, go ahead and putting new shocks on it. Which that it's not really that the shocks were bad. It's really just the stuff in the steering. But it's. There's 60, 000 miles on it. It's due for new shocks. So we're just gonna go ahead and change them. We're doing a long road trip. Let's just change the shocks, get new stuff. And so got the. Got the quote today for them to finish fixing everything. Just bought like a car just shy. Just shy of $6,000 to fix everything. That's like all the steering stuff, the shocks and a new blower for the rear AC and a few other things. And so that's fun. So. But we'll have the van back later today or tomorrow.

[Danielle Busby]

Yeah.

[Adam Busby]

So.

[Danielle Busby]

So cool story. And then Nashville was really fun. Girls trip. I love Franklin. If there was one city in this world that we want to move to, it's that little town.

[Adam Busby]

And we have so many friends there. Yeah.

[Danielle Busby]

It's just. I. I just love everything about it. It's like a little Bible belt too.

[Adam Busby]

We have so many friends that move there over the last few years. And so it's like, who knows? Maybe.

[Danielle Busby]

Maybe that's why we can't find a house. Cuz the Lord wants us to go.

[Adam Busby]

I don't think so.

[Danielle Busby]

Anyways.

[Adam Busby]

This episode is brought to you by Cozy Earth. And honestly, this one just makes sense for our house.

[Danielle Busby]

Yeah. And let's be real. Moms don't really ever check out. There's always something. So let's quiet those moments. They matter a lot more than people realize.

[Adam Busby]

And that's what I love about Cozy Earth. It's not just a gift. It actually feels like you're giving someone a moment to breathe. Like Danielle has the robe and slippers. It's kind of her signal that the day is winding down or starting in

[Danielle Busby]

the morning school drop off. It really is. The robe is so soft and it just feels intentional. Like something that's made to take care of you for once. Which as a mom we don't always stop to do.

[Adam Busby]

And with Mother's Day coming up, it's a really meaningful way to say thank you for all the little things that don't get noticed.

[Danielle Busby]

And it's not just the robe that I have that's comfortable. It's also their Cozier sheets that we have and sleep on every single night. You can try it risk free with 100 night sleep trial and it's backed by a 10 year warranty. So it's something that's actually made to last.

[Adam Busby]

So this Mother's Day, give her something that gives back. Go to cozier.com and use our code more than for 20% off.

[Danielle Busby]

And if there's a survey after checkout, let them know you heard it on

[Adam Busby]

More than reality, because home starts with mom.

[Danielle Busby]

Thank you, Cozy Earth for sponsoring the podcast. What are we talking about today?

[Adam Busby]

Unless Good Ranchers moves to Franklin.

[Danielle Busby]

Okay, episode today is a little bit deep, I would say just like heartfelt. It's like, it's just. It's just meaningful and real and raw and just something that Adam and I heard. It's. It's. We're calling this episode the Part of Me that Keeps Messing Up. So this is about, like, if you've ever prayed for something, but, like, deep down you don't fully believe yourself.

[Adam Busby]

Yeah. And so, like, what sparked this, man? And I know it's been going around a lot of you may have seen this clip on social media or whatever, but it was of Theo Vaughn, of all people. And he's just. He's going through, like, a transformation right now. And it's like, super cool to see just because of, like, how real he is through it. And, you know, he's wrestling with wanting to change, but then also being pulled back into, you know, this life that he has and this world that he lives in.

[Danielle Busby]

Okay, so this is the Ovon.

[Adam Busby]

This is the clip one.

[Theo Vaughn]

It's been a good story and it served me well, but I don't want that story anymore. You know, I want something different because the more I just tell that story, it's just like, you know, I stay in that world. I stay in that cycle for me. And I think I. Yeah, so I want to have it, I think. And it's scary to say that I want to have a new story because I'm so used to, like, how those other feelings work. I know who to be angry at. I know how to operate here and I know how to operate there, and I know who to not give love to. And I, you know, I know how to make, like, love, like, very conditional. I know how to, like, do all these. I know how to navigate to get this vehicle down the street, you know, But I think I want a new story, dude. And it's crazy for me to even say that, but, yeah, I think I want a New story. And. And so that's one thing that I'm asking God for. Yeah, I'm asking God for a new story.

[Adam Busby]

Right.

[Theo Vaughn]

I'm asking God for the next part of my. Of me.

[Danielle Busby]

So good.

[Adam Busby]

Yeah. I mean, and I feel like we've been at. At that point, I mean, on multiple scenarios in our life of, you know, wrestling with, you know, like, the Holy Spirit. And like, the Holy Spirit impress something on you and know that, like, in order to do this, I got to give something up or in order to do this, I got to break away from this other thing that's terrifying. You know, that.

[Danielle Busby]

That's all.

[Adam Busby]

You know, it may give you comfort right now. And this is what I know, and this is what I'm good at, and this is what brings me an income or whatever. But, like, God's putting this on my heart right now, and. And you're just wrestling with those two worlds of. Yeah, but if I. If I drop this and I give this up and I go to this, what God's wanting me to do, like, I. I don't have any control over anymore.

[Danielle Busby]

Yeah.

[Adam Busby]

And that's what's scary. And it's just. It. It was so cool just to hear him, like, articulate that so in such a vulnerable way, you know, on his podcast, it's like, you know, millions of people listen to, and now it's been clipped. I mean, there's been probably hundreds of millions of people that have, like, listened to these clips and just, like, the comments of just, like, how real and raw this is, and, like, so many people relate to it.

[Danielle Busby]

I mean, I remember being in that exact position before I became, like, a Christ follower, you know, just. And. And I feel like there's a lot of people that I am constantly top five praying for that are still in that exact position where it's like this battle within yourself and what you want as a change or. But you're so scared of, like, what is it going to do to me and the people around me? And it's real. And he just. He just. I, like, applaud him for the bravery he had to expose that level and just be vulnerable. And, I mean, I share that a lot with, like. Like the women, you know, that I speak life into. And it's just like being vulnerable is life giving to yourself. Even when it's so hard to open up, there's healing within that. Even if you don't know you need healing. Just being vulnerable to a person, to one person, to God. But I know he. He goes on and It. And what is, what does he say next?

[Adam Busby]

Yeah, I mean it just, it goes back to like, I, I thought of like just a scripture reference in the Bible. It's, it's a Matthew, but also in Luke. But it's just, it's talking about like serving two masters and like you can't, you can't do both. You can't be on both sides of it. It's impossible to serve two masters because devotion will inevitably be divided. And Jesus states that a person will love one and hate the other, specifically stating, you cannot serve both God and this. It says money. But I mean that, that applies to so many things in your life. You know, money is just, yes, one of them, but just something that you're struggling with. Things, things of this world. And it just, it involves a total devotion to God and, and what his plan is for your life and what his, his desire for you is. I think I have one more clip as well.

[Danielle Busby]

I hadn't listened to like the whole thing, but this clip you play next is the first one that I heard.

[Adam Busby]

I was like, whoa, I think this is the right one.

[Theo Vaughn]

Don't mean that like in self pity. I don't need an. I don't. But if there's a part of me that doesn't even want the best for me, then that there's something inside of me that is off. So that's something that's been helping me because some of it's been coming true and not if it's been coming true. I don't know if that's a term, but I don't know. I'm starting to just feel something different. And then I was also, I was, I was looking on this Bible and there's a story called John 5, and it's about a guy who's at these pools. And some people follow the Bible, some people don't. That's fine. This is just a story that I'm reciting here. And, and Jesus is, is at the, is at the pools and it's in Bethesda. And they're like, there's a sick man there and he's been sick for a long time. And Jesus asks him, do you want to be healed? He asked him, do you want to be healed? And that's a crazy question because,

[Danielle Busby]

you

[Theo Vaughn]

know, if I get healed, then I'm different. You know, if somebody gets healed, they have a new story. So that's just been something that I've been having to ask myself. It's like, yeah, do I want to be healed? Do I really want something different.

[Adam Busby]

Like, the first, the first time I listened to that, like, it had me in tears as, like, you see him, you see the pain in his eyes as he's just wrestling with that and just like, soaking in it. And, and yeah, you just feel for him. Like, you just want to just pray over him and pray for him and as he's working through that because, like, it's, it's so real, so relatable.

[Danielle Busby]

Yeah. And I mean, I, I think about people that are close to me that I feel like are in the exact position. They don't necessarily are correlating their struggle, their constant return of struggle in habits to themselves. But the thought of what he's saying is, no, the man coming and Jesus come to me and saying, do you want to be healed? It's like, I, I also want to look at these other people in our lives and just say, like, like, when are you going to realize that those actions can stop? Like, you can stop those things, you can stop these habits, but it's going to take something outside of your own self to do that. You know, the people that I pray for in my life, that I'm, like, he's saying, like, I'm, I. I'm going to be different if I'm healed. Like, and that's okay, and that's good, and that's what we want more than anything. But a lot of people only know misery, only know struggle, only know hardship, only know the negative, all that. But there is another side to it, and you have to take that level of obedience and understanding that, like, within, within Christ, there is hope. And it's something, you know, like, when we talk, we talk about in the Bible, it talks about, like, peace. Like, the Lord can give you peace that transcends all understanding, meaning the peace that I've received in my life, like, whenever we were going through finding out we were pregnant with quintuplets and the whole struggle of, you know, the doctors want us to abort three of the. Three of the babies. And I couldn't do that. But there was all these, like, health concerns and all these things, and it's just weighing on you. And I remember us praying on the way home, and this peace came over us, and you cannot explain it. And it's. That is the Holy Spirit. That is God coming into your life and just saying, it's in my hands. You give this to me, and he gives you peace about that situation. Now, we can receive peace as our, as our understanding, but a piece that you can explain how something can go from A to Z without you doing anything, you know, anything different. And so I, I'm saying this because what Theo is talking about being in that state of if I do, I may be different. And that's what the blood of Jesus does like, it washes you. It clothes you in a new, new clothes. Be gone old self. Now a lot of people fear this state because they think they will be unlikable, their friends will leave them. They're like, their family might deny them, the world might deny them absolutely. And God will weed out a lot of things in your life that are going to bring him glory within your life. And that's hard to accept, but that's what makes your life beautiful, you know?

[Adam Busby]

Yeah. Yeah. And I mean thank, I mean thank God for what we do have. I mean, what resources we do have. And we do have the Bible that, I mean, none of this, none of this we're wrestling with is a surprise to God.

[Danielle Busby]

Yeah.

[Adam Busby]

You know, so many stories in the Bible like outline this thought, this train of thought, nearly word for word. And you know, and because like God knew that we would wrestle with this. Like he put these, these stories in the Bible and so that you can, you know, look to for, you know, this isn't new. This isn't, you know, I'm not the only one in the world going through this. I'm not, you know, and you, you do have that solidarity with like people that have been there, you know, that, you know, if it's in the Bible, like I can read these verses and the Holy Spirit will move and will speak, you know, to me through this. And, you know, and that's what he wants. He wants your heart more than anything. You know, in Romans, you know, it's talking directly about this and struggling with sin. And Romans, I think it's 7, 18 through 25. And I know that nothing good lives in me. That is my sinful nature. I want to do what is right, but I can't. I want to do what is good, but I don't. I don't want to do what is wrong, but I do it anyway. But if I do what I don't want to do, I'm not really the one doing the wrong. It is sin living in me that does it. I've discovered that this principle of life that when I want to do what is right, I inevitably do what is wrong. I love God's law with all my heart. But there is another power within me that is at war with my mind. This power makes me a slave to the sin that's still within me. Oh, what a miserable person I am. Who will free me from this life that is dominated by sin and death? Thank God. The answer is in Jesus Christ, our Lord. So you see how. So you see how it is in my mind, I really want to obey God's law, but because of my sinful nature, I'm a slave to sin. And I mean, this is, this is it right here.

[Danielle Busby]

And this was written 2000 plus years ago, and still today this relates. I mean, I'm emotional right now, but just thinking of like, how. How true that is, how I guarantee every person relates to that scripture. Right there.

[Adam Busby]

Yeah.

[Danielle Busby]

Repeatedly. You know, it's like, it's like that loop, Right. Like I say, I'm sorry, I apologize, I tell the Lord, I'm gonna fix, I'm gonna change. But there's something inside you that inevitably is going to continue to make you to choose wrong.

[Adam Busby]

Yeah.

[Danielle Busby]

And so you have to die to that self. You have to die to that self and become new.

[Adam Busby]

Yep.

[Danielle Busby]

You know.

[Adam Busby]

Yeah. The Bible literally says kill it.

[Danielle Busby]

Yeah. And it's like, you get in this,

[Adam Busby]

but it also says we have the power.

[Danielle Busby]

Right.

[Adam Busby]

We have the power within us.

[Danielle Busby]

Yeah.

[Adam Busby]

If we just believe and we trust and call on the name of Jesus.

[Danielle Busby]

Yeah. But when you're in that, when you're in that cycle, in that loop that I feel like we all know too well, like, you mess up, you feel it immediately, you regrets, you, you. You just go through this circle. And whenever you're in that end moment, that regret hits hard and you're like, I'm done. I'm never doing this again. But then what? Time passes, the emotions fade, life gets busy, you get uncomfortable again. And slowly, almost without notice, you drift right back in to that same pattern.

[Adam Busby]

Yeah. I mean, we're habit. We're in. It's ingrained in us to like, fix ourselves and to fix our own problems. And so like, whenever something gets hard, you're like, I want to do whatever I can. I have to fix this. And I fall into that so often. Like, I get down on myself, I put my head down and like, I have to fix this. And I hold it on tightly and. And things just get worse. It seems like instead of releasing it. Yeah. Getting in the word, praying about it, asking God to. To free us from that. Asking God for strength, asking God for peace, asking God for wisdom through those moments, it may not be in our. The timing that we want. You know, so many of the things in our life, it was, you know, so Many of the struggles, especially, like, you know, all the, all the rough spots that we've been through over the last few years and, you know, and the struggles and like, man, like God, take this from us right now. Like, this is tough. This is hard.

[Danielle Busby]

Yeah.

[Adam Busby]

And you want it fixed right now. And, and you, you want to trust him, but it's so hard because it's hard. And. But time after time after time again, God showed up in his timing, which was always the right timing. And.

[Danielle Busby]

Yeah.

[Adam Busby]

And. And we. And we grew through that. We grew through that pain, you know, and that's whenever. That's whenever he tests us and grows us the most is through those hard times, through, you know, the forging through those times. It's like, you know, you ask for these things, you ask for wisdom, you ask for strength, you ask for patience. But the only way to grow in those things is to go through those hard times. And that's how he. He forges you through those times. And it's so hard because it's so hard to just try to control it yourself and just fall into those. Those old paths and those old ways that you go through. And, and I still struggle with this. I still struggle with this every single day.

[Danielle Busby]

Yeah.

[Adam Busby]

You know, getting, get anxiety about certain things and, and just how am I going to fix this? How am I going to fix this? What do I need to do? Like, what, you know, what can I do to fix this? Instead of turning to God and putting that on him and laying that down in his feet.

[Danielle Busby]

Right. And I'll. And a lot of the times you cannot take it upon your own self to fix it. That as Christians, we call on the Holy Spirit and we simply. It's a prayer to God. You just talk to God and pray, be vulnerable, release that, share with a friend. And there's times when you get in that loop that you're just like, you start to kind of think, like, can I even trust myself to change? Because I keep failing and failing. But there's a story, another story in the Bible. There's lots of stories in the Bibles, actually, and there's so many of that are so relatable. And like the story about Peter, you know, Peter was Jesus, bro. He was his man. You know, he was like, did life with him. He was one of his closest friends. And at one point, he's bold and confident, and he says, he says, even if everyone else fades away, I won't. And he meant it. As Jesus is going out and preaching and proclaiming, you know, God the Father People are against him and, you know, want to kill him and all these things. And as people, you know, it's just a great analogy of, like, what does happen. Like, you might face a situation as you're growing to know Christ, where the people around you change or you realize something they do or something they say or you don't like the. Like, it's not falling under biblically, how you want to be perceived around. Like, who are you, are the people you hang around. So sometimes you have to change the crowd and if you want to see a change in your life. So something small like that. But even as, you know, with Peter, like, later, the story gets more difficult. There's pressure, fear, uncertainty. And he denies Jesus. Even knowing Jesus. Yeah, even knowing Jesus, he denied him. And he denied him more than once, three times. So. And this was not because Peter was fake, not because Peter didn't fully understand. Peter didn't fully understand his own weaknesses yet. Like, he did not know. He said, I'm never going to do this again, Jesus. I'm never going to deny you. And then three more times he did. Guys, we are the same. Like, we do the same thing. And so this is what's so great about God's living word in Scripture, is that, like, this is giving us stories of. Of. Of life, of examples and how can we change stories of just, like, redemption and like Jesus, you know, and so you can be genuine and you can still fall short. You know, you can. You can have real intentions and still struggle all the way through it. Matthew 26:41 says, the Spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak. The flesh is weak, and the flesh is you. The flesh is you. And that is. I feel like that's the. The tension we all live in. We're always like, you know, this battle of, like, right and wrong, good and evil, should do, shouldn't do, whatever the scenario might be. There's a part of you that wants to grow, and you want to do better and you want to change, and then there's the other part of you that, you know, still reactive, and it's still conditioned and it's still weak in a lot of areas. And both of those are. Both of those can exist at the same time. That's what I'm gonna say. Both of those can exist at the same time. So what do we do about that?

[Adam Busby]

Yeah, Vulnerability. I mean, to admit that, like, you don't have it all figured out, and, like, you can't do this on your own. Like in 2nd Corinthians 12:12, starting in verse 9 says, My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness. So now I'm. Now, so now I am glad to boast about my weakness so that the power of Christ can work through me. That's why I take pleasure in my weakness and in the insults, the hardships, the persecutions and the troubles that I suffer in Christ for when I am weak, then I am strong. Yeah. And you know, God is going to fill that void whenever you step out and you admit like, you don't have it all figured out. Like you, like, I can't do this and God's going to meet you in that weakness and he's going to carry you through. Yeah.

[Danielle Busby]

So I think some like, maybe practical steps that you could try to start doing is like, stop extreme promises. Stop saying, I'll never do it again. Try something like, I'm working on this. I'm taking steps. The second step,

[Adam Busby]

notice patterns.

[Danielle Busby]

Yeah. So like study and notice your patterns. Pay attention to like what's, Pay attention. Like when these habits or actions happen.

[Adam Busby]

Yeah. Whenever, whenever you what, fall. What makes you fall back into those same patterns over and over?

[Danielle Busby]

Awareness breaks. Repetition.

[Adam Busby]

Yeah, yeah.

[Danielle Busby]

And then let's see another third point.

[Adam Busby]

Bring it into the light.

[Danielle Busby]

Yeah. Just what you were just saying.

[Adam Busby]

But also like, don't just keep it to yourself.

[Danielle Busby]

Yeah. Share it.

[Adam Busby]

Find somebody, find somebody to talk to about it.

[Danielle Busby]

That vulnerability.

[Adam Busby]

Give yourself grace and give yourself room to grow. Because it's not going to be overnight.

[Danielle Busby]

Yeah.

[Adam Busby]

In the most case, it's not going to be overnight. You're going to fall right back into those same same patterns over and over. I mean, I still do it and we've taken huge leaps of faith on certain things and certain aspects of our life. And when things get rough, you fall back into the same same patterns and in those same struggles. And it's a constant reminder and a constant repetition. A constant. Just like giving it back to God.

[Danielle Busby]

Yeah. I mean, a lot of, a lot of big emotional moments. You know, we've had big, big faith moments, stories in our life that, you know, have created a testimony and life story through us. But we also have like these little need to walk by faith daily moments. And when you become aware of, you know, your actions, you bring it to light, building consistency that, that those small repeated actions help you give yourself that room to grow. So not an excuse, but as a process. So you're giving yourself grace, not as an excuse. And I think a lot of us think, oh, I'm not going to give grace to myself because Blah, blah, blah, blah. But, like, don't give yourself that excuse and saying, I don't deserve grace because you need it to be part of this process. You got to give yourself room to grow, and growth takes time. It's not, you know, and setbacks. Don't cancel the process. Be thankful that you're becoming aware of those setbacks. And then you start that process of, I'm gonna repent, Lord, I'm struggling. Hold me this. Allow myself to give myself grace so that I can see that this. This broken aspect of when I've been doing good and I fell today. In my eyes, I felt, but not in yours, that I can give myself grace so that I know I won't go back into those same habits, but that the grace will allow me to continue to move forward.

[Adam Busby]

Yeah. I mean, in one aspect, you know, just us doing this podcast is like one of those big things. I mean, we. We came from, you know, being on TV in people's home for, you know, millions and millions and millions of people. And, you know, and it was great, but we say that we felt like God wasn't necessarily in it. A lot of people.

[Danielle Busby]

A lot of parts of it.

[Adam Busby]

A lot of parts of it. But a lot of people do disagree with that because they've seen, like, our faith through it, which, thank God, but you know, to. To step away from that and to do something like this and. And talk about, you know, our life in such a vulnerable way and to bring our faith more open and, you know, out in public, just through this podcast. I mean, it's. It's hard because, like, I mean, you look at, you know, our. Our viewer base that, like, follows us, like, so closely on social media and stuff. A lot of. A huge majority of that is from just people that, you know, just ensure. Enjoy the light, fun moments on our TV show. But then whenever you start opening up and talking about the real stuff and sharing your faith and stuff, a lot of those people turn on you.

[Danielle Busby]

Yeah, a lot of them did. Especially when you first started this podcast.

[Adam Busby]

There's a big price to pay for that. Yeah. And, yeah, a lot of. A lot of good has come with that, and we've helped a lot of people, and a lot of people have been so appreciative of what we're doing and speaking out and talking about our faith and sharing our faith to other people. But a lot of people hate it.

[Danielle Busby]

But that's a. But that's.

[Adam Busby]

And a lot of people hate us for it.

[Danielle Busby]

That's a great story, that reference, like Reflects to this is because when we started the podcast it was all about going out on our faith and being real vulnerable, sharing the real side because people knew us from TV but they, they didn't know our hearts. In a sense, you know, we love our family. You saw great adventures and like all like real moments and stuff but like you never really saw like the depthness of our Christ centered hearts. And that was our, that was always my desire to in us as, as our story. Just originally very before we even had this TV story and whatnot was like we always felt that it was right to tell your story. And everybody has a story.

[Adam Busby]

God, God's given us this powerful story and it's our duty to share that and to share like what God has done through it. And a lot of times it wasn't in the way that we wanted it

[Danielle Busby]

done, but in a lot of moments in the podcast like doing this podcast, there you can see like those moments come up where it's like bicker might settle in between us because it is a, it is a business for us. This is a business as far as like, you know, the podcasts we put on YouTube, like let's just be real like we hope to receive views on that so that can hopefully sustain some, some financial attributions to like how we need to maintain our family and keep the podcast going and blah blah, blah. But there's also things that there's, you know, when you got a business minds around that you look at, okay, what did this podcast episode do? What did this podcast episode do? And when you're starting something new, you want it to be successful.

[Adam Busby]

Yeah.

[Danielle Busby]

And so you've got this angle of like analyzing analytics and where do we want to go from this? What do we need to talk? This did copic really well. This one didn't. That's not what I want to do. We need to talk about this. Oh, why bring that up? We need to do this. And so there was a lot of, a lot of back and forth because it's like we cannot continue to do what the world says we need to do. We need to do what God has called us to do. Yeah. And what's been very powerful in the dynamic of what you don't see behind even the microphone with, with us is that there's a part of it that still this is so real. Like our human nature is so real because we're, we're sinful and we're going to fail multiple times, but we have a loving God who sent Jesus to die for us. So that we may spend hope, that we can have hope and spend eternal life in heaven. Right? So like I can continuously fail not by. Because I'm doing it on purpose. That's not what I'm talking about. I'm talking about I have all intentions to fall, follow, to do what is correctly. And I still falter. I still falter. And even with our intentions of sharing our story and you know, how Jesus has encountered our life and, and what we've done with our life, there's still friction at times. There's still like the world comes in and says, your podcast, you need to do this. And don't talk about that. This will bring you more views, this will pay you more, this will get more ads. This. And it's like, no, like, I hear that. That would be fabulous. That would be great. But that's not the purpose of this. The purposes of this podcast is not on the secular tv, what we had been doing. And yes, people might have, you know, seen a different part of us there, but this one is not about that. This one is not about what are those numbers say? Yes, it's helpful, but it's not the first thing. And we always go back to, we always have to bring each other back to what is the purpose of the podcast and who are we abiding to.

[Adam Busby]

Yeah, yeah, it's good.

[Danielle Busby]

Do you want to be different or do you want to stay the same? And we have to constantly battle that living in this platform, social media influencer type of world. And so we love to come on here, but there's a lot of pressing power across a lot of other avenues. And so whenever you bring up, you know how today with talking about like Theo Vaughn and like his state of, I think I want a new story, but it's scary to think, am I going to be different? And I want to say, Theo, man, yes, you want to be different. Yes, life will be so much better on the different side. I don't know what your difference going to be. I don't know what my different is going to be. But we are not guaranteed tomorrow and today. I want to do what is different. I want to do what's going to be accountable to me in heaven when I can spend eternity with my loved ones who've passed with God the Father, with Jesus, where everything is not broken. I want that life. I want to be different. And Theo, I want to encourage you to keep praying those vulnerable prayers. Say out loud what you are doing because that touched heart, my, my life, it touched Adam's life. And we love Jesus, and we know what you're going through, and we know what those feelings are. It's like, it makes me relatable. It's still so relatable. So thank you for those words. Thank you for that. That state that you're in. It's hard for you, but it's so powerful knowing what is on the other side for you. And it does not mean that you can't talk on a mic, that you can't be your, you know, like, fun comedian self. Like, some of those aspects might change, but you're not called to be the same. Like, be different, be like Jesus. It causes us to be different, you know?

[Adam Busby]

Yeah.

[Danielle Busby]

So I'm not an emotional person, but you've made me emotional with that because it's so true. So just thank you, man.

[Adam Busby]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So good. And it's so. Just. It's so refreshing to hear somebody be so vulnerable about that and so real about, man, do I even want this? Do I even. Do I even want to be healed? Do I even want change? Because, you know, it's gonna. It's gonna. Cause, you know, a sacrifice.

[Danielle Busby]

Yeah.

[Adam Busby]

You know the story in the Bible that. That Theo was referring to in John, you know, the man wanting to be healed. And, you know, he was. He was crippled. And, like, you know, his whole. His whole identity revolved around him being disabled. Disabled. And, you know, that's where he got his money from. That's what he was known for. And, you know, but if God heals me, like, what am I going to do now? And so that's why Jesus asked, like, do you even want to be healed? And so good. It's just. Yeah. Do you want to be healed? Do you want. Do you want to be different? Do you want to change? And, you know, that's something we all have to wrestle with.

[Danielle Busby]

Yeah.

[Adam Busby]

And because it comes with a price.

[Danielle Busby]

And even with the story continued story of Peter, you know, denying him three times, what happens next? Like, Peter's story did not end with failure. Like, he grew, he matures and. And he became a leader. Like, he became different. He did not stay where he felt. He falled short. Right. He didn't deny.

[Adam Busby]

He.

[Danielle Busby]

He. In those moments of trials, just as I was explaining about, like, the world of, like, doing this podcast in the world versus, you know, the heart, he gave in and denied Jesus three times because everybody else was.

[Adam Busby]

Yeah. And it's so easy to, like, fail and just get down on yourself and, like, oh, God must be mad at me. Or, you know, how could you you know, how could God approve of, like, my life or my story now? Because of what I've done? And instead of just, like, resting in that and. And staying in that state.

[Danielle Busby]

Yeah. And it's part in. In all that. All that old. When it gets washed away and you start a new, you will one day reflect back on and see how Jesus was molding you to that. To that day.

[Adam Busby]

Yeah.

[Danielle Busby]

You know, so your repeated struggle, it might not be proof that you're stuck. It might be proof that you're in the process. So maybe today isn't about fixing everything at once. Maybe it's just about being honest enough to say, there's part of me. I'm still struggling with this, whatever this is. Instead of hiding it, you face it, you work on it. You invite the growth to happen, even if you're not perfect yet.

[Adam Busby]

Yep. And to stay on that process, stay. Stay continuous in that growth, stay aware of, you know, those patterns in your life and. And work through those and. And lay them at the feet of Jesus.

[Danielle Busby]

Yeah.

[Adam Busby]

And he will carry us through it.

[Danielle Busby]

Yeah.

[Adam Busby]

So thank you guys for tuning in. Thank you so much, Theo Vaughn, for being so real and open and, you know, you're speaking to millions of people, believers and unbelievers, and so thank you. And we're praying for you, for praying for your journey, and because we're right there with you. So thank you guys for tuning in to episode 82 of more than Reality podcast. Yeah. We'll see you in the next one.

[Danielle Busby]

From one Louisiana family to another.

[Adam Busby]

Yeah.

[Danielle Busby]

We love you, Theo.

[Adam Busby]

All right. And we love you guys.

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