EP 88 - Raising Teens, Faith & Breaking Family Cycles

Summary

More Than Reality with Adam and Danielle Busby

Episode 88: Raising Teens, Faith & Breaking Family Cycles
Date: June 25, 2026

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Episode Overview

In this heartfelt episode, Adam and Danielle Busby dive into the realities of raising teenagers, nurturing faith within their family, and intentionally breaking unhealthy generational cycles. Drawing from their journey as parents of six daughters (including the famous all-girl quintuplets), the Busbys share candid stories from their home life, honest reflections on parenting challenges, and deep conversations about spiritual growth, vulnerability, and the importance of being present for their children. With their trademark humor and openness, they explore how to model faith and resilience, foster raw communication, and help their daughters navigate the pressures of adolescence both inside and outside the spotlight.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Life Update & Lighthearted Banter

[00:45 - 11:02]

• Adam and Danielle open with playful banter about both experiencing back pain—Danielle’s the result of a water aerobics class mishap.
• Danielle shares her water aerobics adventures, describing the community atmosphere and camaraderie with older participants.
• They playfully debate exercise preferences and poke fun at each other’s gym habits and strengths.

"Tell me you’re over 40 without telling me you’re over 40."
—Adam Busby [01:11]

2. Family, Sleep, and Real-Life Challenges

[13:04 - 17:56]

• Danielle laments disrupted sleep due to Adam’s snoring, with both laughing about failed attempts at solutions.
• Adam recalls childhood mischief, sharing an anecdote about putting a lima bean up his nose and the trauma it caused.

"So is the bottom area of women who have babies. And I’m going to win."
—Danielle Busby, humorously comparing discomforts [15:11]

3. Parenting Teens: Reflections on Blake’s Church Camp

[19:41 - 26:27]

• Their eldest daughter Blake returns from a week at summer church camp, sparking parental pride and insight into how vital formative, tech-free experiences can be.
• They discuss the anxiety parents feel when disconnected from their kids, but agree on the growth and independence it cultivates in teens.
• The quintuplets miss their big sister while she’s away, leading to charming sibling dynamics at home.

"It is like the hardest thing...when they go to summer camp, I love the fact that they take [the phones], but as a mom, you want to be able to check in."
—Danielle Busby [19:43]

4. Celebrating Spiritual Growth and Emotional Maturity

[26:28 - 30:43]

• Danielle expresses pride in Blake’s spiritual maturity and leadership; Blake felt her camp experience was more about helping others grow in faith rather than her own gain.
• They contrast Blake’s openness with what they experienced at her age, underscoring how important such conversations are for breaking generational cycles.

"This year I felt like I was used more for others than receiving for myself."
—Blake (relayed by Danielle) [26:55]

5. The Challenge and Reward of Breaking Family Cycles

[35:46 - 40:13]

• The Busbys get vulnerable about their own upbringings, sharing a desire to create open, affirming, and communicative relationships with their kids—something they didn’t always have growing up.
• Danielle talks about the intentional work required to break cycles of silence and emotional distance, and the importance of being fully present and engaged as a parent.

"Your past does not define you and you cannot live in the past. You can only make decisions and changes going forward."
—Danielle Busby [38:35]

6. Parenting with Faith and Intentionality

[41:58 - 47:07]

• Adam and Danielle discuss the "outsourcing" of spiritual teaching to churches and youth groups, emphasizing that faith training begins at home.
• They express compassion for kids whose families aren’t engaged spiritually and reflect on their time as youth leaders, noting that “perfect” families often hide pain and disconnection.
• The importance of being actively involved in your child’s internal world—asking more than surface-level questions and praying intentionally for them.

"The sad truth is most parents use church and youth groups to do the work for them…they’re hoping their kids are being discipled by the church rather than the parents taking on that responsibility."
—Adam Busby [41:58]

7. Faith, Influence, and Community

[47:08 - 53:09]

• The couple encourages listeners: even when teens push away, they often crave deeper communication and connection with parents.
• They reinforce the value of community and peer influences, urging parents to reflect on the people they and their children surround themselves with.
• Danielle highlights, “It just takes one person to make a change”—whether in faith, friendship, or family dynamics.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• "You can break the cycle in your family if that’s what you want…do better. Have harder conversations. Be more intentional, be more relational, be more present."
  —Danielle Busby [47:10]
• "There’s a lot more to the story…we may have an idea what we’re going to talk about, but then you start talking about the week and the podcast can take a completely different direction."
  —Adam Busby [50:55]
• "One story can change a life…sometimes it just takes one person to stand strong, you know?"
  —Danielle Busby [34:13]

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Timestamps for Key Segments

| Segment | Topic | Timestamp | |---------|-------|-----------| | Lighthearted banter and water aerobics | [00:45 – 11:02] | | Sleep habits and funny personal stories | [13:04 – 17:56] | | Blake’s church camp and the struggle of tech-free parenting | [19:41 – 26:27] | | Reflections on Blake’s growth and spiritual leadership | [26:28 – 30:43] | | Breaking family cycles and vulnerability in parenting | [35:46 – 40:13] | | Intentional faith parenting and church roles | [41:58 – 47:07] | | The importance of community and positive influence | [47:08 – 53:09] |

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Takeaways for Listeners

• Open, raw, and regular communication with teens is essential, especially as they seek greater independence.
• Parents should intentionally cultivate faith and character at home—not solely rely on outside organizations.
• It’s possible—and worthwhile—to break unhealthy family patterns, even if you didn’t have models for deep relationships yourself.
• Showing up, asking meaningful questions, and praying for your kids can profoundly shape their identity and faith.
• Even in chaos and imperfection, there is deep joy and growth in parenting with intention, honesty, and love.

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[End of content summary.]

Transcript

[Podcast Host]

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[Adam Busby]

it's funny because, like, we're both. We both have, like, back pain over the last couple days.

[Danielle Busby]

Yeah, mine was simply by just on my way to water aerobics class.

[Adam Busby]

On your way to a water aerobics class?

[Danielle Busby]

Literally. I was literally coming out the door and I dropped my lip gloss by my desk and I just kind of leaned over to grab it and I was like, oh. And I couldn't move.

[Adam Busby]

Tell me you're over 40 without telling me you're over 40.

[Danielle Busby]

The. The word on the street is word on the street. After water aerobics, you go hang out in the hot tub and then you go to the same instructor teaches the dance class. And so tomorrow it's line dancing. So I'm like, done, done and done.

[Adam Busby]

I mean, the sad truth is most parents use church and youth groups to do the work for them. They're just, they're hoping their kids are being discipled by the church rather than the parents taking on that responsibility even

[Danielle Busby]

whenever they're pushing themselves away. What I feel like they need is more intimate, raw communication. And it takes boldness of parents to get uncomfortable to have those conversations with their kids. It's not easy. I mean, especially going growing up, not really having those. It's like. But you can, you can break the cycle.

[Podcast Host]

This is More Than Reality podcast, where we dive into all things faith, family, and marriage and share that there is so much more than the reality that you see on the surface. Welcome to More Than Reality with Adam and Danielle Busby.

[Adam Busby]

What's up, guys? Welcome to episode 88, More Than Reality podcast. This is Adam and Danielle Busby.

[Danielle Busby]

Yep, we're here in a lot of pain.

[Adam Busby]

I think it's funny because, like, we're both, we both have, like, back pain over the last couple days.

[Danielle Busby]

Yeah, mine was simply by just on my way to water aerobics Class on

[Adam Busby]

your way to a water aerobics class.

[Danielle Busby]

Literally. I was literally coming out the door, and I dropped my lip gloss by my desk, and I just kind of leaned over to grab it, and I was like, oh. And I couldn't move.

[Adam Busby]

Tell me you're over 40 without telling me you're over 40.

[Danielle Busby]

And this. I haven't hurt like this, I think, ever before, like, as bad as it is. And then I did still do the water aerobics, because I was like, I'll be in the water. It'll be fine. And I think it just kind of aggravated it more. But water aerobics was so fun.

[Adam Busby]

Water was it just like, a bunch of, like, old people, huh?

[Danielle Busby]

It was just. I loved it. I mean, I was by far the youngest by 20, 30 years.

[Advertiser]

Really?

[Danielle Busby]

Yes. So Ellen came with me because I wasn't gonna go by myself. And so it was really fun. Amari signed up to go tomorrow. It's good. And it was hard.

[Adam Busby]

What do you actually do during water aerobics? Can you break a sweat and water aerobics?

[Danielle Busby]

Well, I don't know if it's really break a sweat because you're in the water. You just dip your head under if you're hot or whatever. But you do, like, I remember it reminded me a lot of, like, when I used to do, like, booty bar classes and stuff like that, where you're holding just, like, £2 and you're doing a lot of, like, resistance and strength. Like, you're just, like, pumping. And so you got these, like, foam,

[Adam Busby]

so you're, like, holding them underwater. So you have the resistance from the water.

[Danielle Busby]

There was three different levels of them. So there was teal, purple, and black or till black. Yeah. And so all the other people, all the teal ones, which was supposed to be, like, the easiest one, they all were gone. And so I was like, okay, well, thought the black was, like, the hardest. And so we grabbed. Me and Ellen grabbed the purple one. They're like, oh, those are the ones that are the hardest. And we're like, whatever. We'll just do it. We wanted the teal ones, but then we figured we saw all the fun grannies in there. There's men in there, too. Had all the teal ones. There was no teal ones left. They all took them. It's so fun, though. I mean, they talked. I heard them talk about mahjong. They talked about bingo, line dancing. I mean, these are my people.

[Adam Busby]

So if you can carry on a conversation while you're working, well, you're Doing a warm up.

[Danielle Busby]

So you're basically making whirl. A whirlpool. You're just. You're an instructor, dude, I'm going back just because of her. She was like, Adam, she was so fun. I want to hang out with her, actually. She had her confidence up so high in her swimsuit, bikini shorts, bikini. Had necklaces, her like hair bandana and cowboy boots.

[Adam Busby]

So she was out. Out of the water.

[Danielle Busby]

She was out of the water. I mean, you can't, you can't know what you're doing if you. She's not up there showing you what to do. And then she, she would be dancing in between. She had good music, too. She danced. And then all of a sudden she would jump in the water and be like, on fire for, like, whatever.

[Adam Busby]

In the cowboy boots.

[Danielle Busby]

Well, she took them off. Yeah, but just the visual of her, I was like, I want to be in this class. She's fun. So I'm going to go back tomorrow and I'm going to do another class of water aerobics. And then the, the. The word on the street is.

[Adam Busby]

Word on the street.

[Danielle Busby]

After water aerobics, you go hang out in the hot tub. And then you go to the same instructor, teaches the dance class. And. And so tomorrow it's line dancing. So I'm like, done, done and done. I'm going to all of it.

[Adam Busby]

Hey, this is at the gym.

[Danielle Busby]

Yes. They have. They're having like bingo next week. Like after class, they bring their mahjong and they play like it is a whole club. And I am all in.

[Adam Busby]

You join the club.

[Danielle Busby]

Join the club. They're fun. I love old people. You know why? Because they say, and they can. Like, like one of the girls, like, there was two. I mean, we're kind of moving around. You start moving, next thing you know, you're facing the other way. You floated over here and whatever. So we have the noodle, like behind our head and we're like floating. And that one lady has it under her arms instead of around her neck, like, floating back. And she's like, I don't remember her name. Mary. You're supposed to put it around your neck. She goes, mary said, I know, I don't want it right there. I'm like, this is so fun. And you know what's funny is because

[Adam Busby]

people just do what they want.

[Danielle Busby]

I go to the gym and I'm

[Advertiser]

like, I don't want.

[Danielle Busby]

I go to the gym. I'm like, I don't want to talk to nobody. I don't want to See? Nobody. I just want to go in the corner and, like, do what I want to do. But in this class, I'm like, I want to hang out with all y'.

[Adam Busby]

All. That's funny. Yeah, because whenever I go to the gym, I usually go early in the morning because there's less people there and less.

[Danielle Busby]

Yeah, but you'll stay at the gym for four hours just talking to people. And I'm like, but I don't want to do it.

[Adam Busby]

Not if I go in the morning. But it's like if I'm off schedule or whatever, and I try to go, like, either on my lunch break or just a little bit later, mid morning. It. It never fails. There's always somebody that comes up and just wants to talk, and then it just takes forever.

[Danielle Busby]

Yeah.

[Adam Busby]

Like, I try to. I try to work out to where, like, I'm constantly watching my watch and getting, like, my heart rate.

[Danielle Busby]

That's what I did.

[Adam Busby]

And I try to keep my heart rate in a certain range, but then if you, like, stop and, like, talking to somebody, then your heart rate comes back down, and then you gotta. And I try to keep my heart rate in this. In this range through my workout.

[Danielle Busby]

I'm gonna wear my watch tomorrow because I want to see if you're doing anything. No, I'll just be curious to see what.

[Adam Busby]

Clearly you ain't doing a whole lot. If they're like, oh, we're gonna go hang out in the hot tub. And then we got a line dancing class after this.

[Danielle Busby]

Well, maybe them. Hey, I was. I was doing, like you could feel. I didn't feel so much, like, in my legs and lower body because my back was hurting, so. So I did a lot more of, like, where I could just like, stand and do, like, the upper body stuff, like, underwater, which. That stuff is hard. I would totally whip your tail in that.

[Adam Busby]

Okay.

[Danielle Busby]

I would. I bet I would. You might have muscles, but you don't have strength.

[Adam Busby]

I don't have strength.

[Danielle Busby]

Wait, you have muscles, but you don't have.

[Adam Busby]

Have years of being a rescue diver. And, like. No, I don't have any kind of water skills. Like, you really want to go toe to toe with me? I'm in the water.

[Danielle Busby]

I didn't say we were holding breath and stuff. I'm just saying, like, pumping these weights and stuff under there. You do heavy weightlifting, but you don't do, like, resistant, like, strengthening like that. You don't. That's why you never came to any of those cardio, like, booty, like, classes

[Adam Busby]

with me where I'm like guys don't go to.

[Danielle Busby]

Yes, they do not booty bar, but like they come to like Pilates and yoga. You could, you could not sit here with one pound or holding a towel like this for one minute pulsing. You couldn't do it. I feel like we're going to challenge this. So that's what I'm saying. Remember I was like, you can't do a handstand. You can't do a handstand. Remember that? I just came across that video.

[Adam Busby]

I don't have like balance like that for a handstand. No. And I've never practiced a handstand.

[Danielle Busby]

You build muscle, but you're not building like whatever it's called, which is fine. You look great. I don't know what I'm trying to say. But someone else, someone else understands it. I'm just going to go back to the water. Water pool aerobics and they will be like, I know what you mean.

[Adam Busby]

Listen all for your confidence.

[Danielle Busby]

But listen, on Wednesday I'm going to bring up Wednesday I'm going to bring up needlepoint and see who's who does that. They just open up a place here in Friendswood.

[Adam Busby]

Like little.

[Danielle Busby]

I wonder which part of this group does needlepoint. That's my next interest.

[Adam Busby]

I'm sure half the group at least.

[Danielle Busby]

No, it's kind of hard.

[Adam Busby]

Or crocheting.

[Danielle Busby]

I don't want to crochet.

[Adam Busby]

That's my grandma did crochet.

[Danielle Busby]

I've had a lot of electrolyte drinks over the years. Especially with everything I've had going on health wise and honestly. Just here's one that I keep coming back to. One of the things I love most is how simple and clean the ingredients are. It's coconut water and pink Himalayan salt doing the work. Not a bunch of sugar or ingredients I can't pronounce. And the taste is honestly what sold me so many electrolytes taste either way too sweet or way too salty, but cure is just really refreshing. My favorites are lemon and berry pomegranate, but I've tried several flavors and they're all been really great.

[Adam Busby]

And even our girls love it, which says a lot. We keep packets and sports bags in the car around the house because they're constantly outside playing, practicing or hanging out with friends.

[Danielle Busby]

It's become a staple in our daily routine. I drink it to help restore the minerals and electrolytes my body needs. And it also helps me stay on top of hydrating during busy days when it's easy to fall behind and cure. Hydration is Officially in Target now, which I'm pretty excited about.

[Podcast Host]

We.

[Danielle Busby]

We stocked up recently, and honestly, the six girls in the house were constantly restocking. So next time you're at Target, grab a box for yourself or get 20 [e-mail] with code more than real ingredients, real hydration. So I told myself this week I would wake up every day with an alarm, so I'm two for two.

[Adam Busby]

Good job. Good job.

[Danielle Busby]

Now say it with a lot more less condescending. Yes. Yes. So tomorrow I'm gonna wake up with alarm too, because I want to work.

[Adam Busby]

When did your alarm go off?

[Danielle Busby]

8:45. I got up. I got up.

[Adam Busby]

Yeah.

[Danielle Busby]

8:45.

[Adam Busby]

How many times you hit snooze?

[Danielle Busby]

I didn't, because today I knew I had to get up because I had my Mingo call. We haven't all three chatted, and they were like, manny doesn't know how to use FaceTime and call multiple people, which is really.

[Adam Busby]

Oh, yeah, because she has an iPad now.

[Danielle Busby]

Yeah. And then Priscilla was like, danielle's not gonna wake up. And so I FaceTime them. And Priscilla's, like, turning light on getting out of bed. She's like, I just knew Danielle wasn't gonna get up, so I wasn't getting out of bed until she called. But I hadn't talked to them, and, like, I haven't caught up with them, and Priscilla just got back from the Mozambique, like, mission trip, and so I wanted to hear about that and, like, all the things. So just life catching up. And the only time we were planning to do it yesterday, and then it didn't work, so I was like, I have to do it because today's busy anyway. And so I'm back on, like, life schedule. But I will say. I will say I love me some naps, but I have. I have not been sleeping well because of the man sitting next to me who. Who snores and snores and snores. I. I can't do it every night. Someone who spons can come sponsor this podcast and give us all the things to help Adam stop snoring.

[Adam Busby]

Yeah, I tried those. I tried those things that go in your nose, but they irritate me.

[Danielle Busby]

I don't care.

[Adam Busby]

And, babe. And then, like, so in the middle of the night, and most of the time, I don't even know it. I just do it in my sleep, but I'll rip them out because, like, it. It, like, hurts. Like, if I. Like, if I turn over in my. On my pillow, and it, like, pushes because it's like hard plastic and it's like in your nose.

[Danielle Busby]

I had babies body.

[Adam Busby]

But your nose is super sensitive. And there's like. So is the blood vessels close to the inside.

[Danielle Busby]

So is the bottom area of women who have babies. And I'm going to win.

[Adam Busby]

I'm not equating it to childbirth, but it's like you're like though this little uncomfortable to sleep in.

[Danielle Busby]

Listen, what's more uncomfortable? What should be more uncomfortable to you?

[Adam Busby]

Saying this is excruciatingly painful. I'm just saying it. No, because they constantly wake me up. So it's like, okay, I. I don't snore, but then I wake up all night.

[Danielle Busby]

So.

[Adam Busby]

Because it bothers me.

[Danielle Busby]

So the other option is my wife stays up all night and he wonders why I can't get up in the morning. The past two nights I have not been able to go to sleep. If I'm going to sleep till like

[Adam Busby]

3, 3am I go to sleep to the sound of you snoring.

[Danielle Busby]

No, you don't. Babe.

[Adam Busby]

You were. I'm not gonna lie.

[Danielle Busby]

I, I do. I, I have caught. I have woken up a couple times to yourself in my life being like, man, I was in such a deep sleep. I snored like, thank you. I want to sleep like that.

[Adam Busby]

That's how I know you're asleep every night is because you're snoring.

[Danielle Busby]

Yeah. Which doesn't happen often.

[Adam Busby]

It happens every night.

[Danielle Busby]

That is not true.

[Adam Busby]

100.

[Danielle Busby]

I've been trying to.

[Adam Busby]

I'm start recording you then.

[Danielle Busby]

Okay. I've been taking and stuff to try to make myself go to sleep. And I can't go to sleep till like 3 o' clock because I can't stop slapping you.

[Adam Busby]

I did, I did recall one. One at least one time last night

[Danielle Busby]

you like hit me one time. Literally. I'm like, I told you. I leaned over and I was like, I can't do this every night. You remember that?

[Adam Busby]

What was funny is I was kind of awake and I was like, I wasn't just snoring because I was kind of awake whenever you did it. So I don't know.

[Danielle Busby]

You always say that and it's not true. Anyways, wear your nose

[Adam Busby]

back in. Those are uncomfortable.

[Danielle Busby]

I'm gonna put it in your nose while you're asleep.

[Adam Busby]

You can't. It would wake me up.

[Danielle Busby]

What about the one that's like the magnet?

[Adam Busby]

How does that work? You. Then you gotta shove a magnet in your nose.

[Danielle Busby]

Actually, I don't know. It says it's supposed to like I've just seen a commercial and it like puts on it.

[Adam Busby]

I have a phobia that because whenever I was in kindergarten, I was five years old, you shut the magnet up your nose. I was telling Riley that the other day we were waiting in line at Sonic. I don't know how it came up. Something about a lima bean or some kind of bean. And whenever I was in five years old in kindergarten, I shoved a lima bean up my nose.

[Danielle Busby]

Why?

[Adam Busby]

And they no, I'm a five year old boy. You just do stupid stuff. And. And I couldn't get it out. And so they had to bring me to the principal's office and it just, it took forever to get it out. So now I don't like putting anything in my nose.

[Danielle Busby]

It's weird.

[Adam Busby]

I vividly remember that.

[Danielle Busby]

I wonder what made you think, I wonder if this fits in my nose.

[Adam Busby]

And it's crazy. Like I'm almost 45 years old and I remember that from 40 years ago. Just put an alignment being in my nose because it was a traumatic experience. As I've gotten older, I've realized that feeling tired, lacking motivation, or just not recovering the way that you used to isn't always just getting older. That's one reason I've been paying a lot more attention to what's actually going on inside of my body instead of just questioning. What surprised me is how much of men's health happens behind the scenes. Most guys only think about testosterone, but there's a lot more to the story. Things like shbg, prolactin and other hormone markers that can affect how you feel, perform and recover every day. That's why I use function. Function provides 160 plus lab tests a year so I can actually see what's going on under the hood instead of making assumptions. There's real strength in knowing where you stand and having insights you can actually use. I use this and so should you. Check your health the way that I do. Function provides 160 plus lab tests for just $1 a day and member pricing on MRI and CT scans. [e-mail] more than or use gift code more than 25 for a $25 credit towards your membership. So this week we had. Blake was gone all week at her summer camp or church. Summer camp. And Danielle just picked her up. Yeah, like right at lunchtime before we started filming this.

[Danielle Busby]

Yeah.

[Adam Busby]

So we just got Blake home.

[Danielle Busby]

It is like the hardest thing. Like you know, you just feel so. You just feel so much better as like, like a parent mom speak on the mom's side, because that's who I am and what I know. But, you know, when you know what your kids are doing or, like, where they're at, like, and you can check in and, like, all these things. But, like, when they go to summer camp, I love the fact that they take.

[Adam Busby]

They're not allowed to have their phones there, you know?

[Danielle Busby]

And so it's always that first night where you're like, okay, let me just tell her I love her, and, like, good night, or whatever. You're like, can't. And then it's like, you feel that. You feel like.

[Adam Busby]

I know there's weird. Quite a few times over the week.

[Danielle Busby]

Why am I being punished? You feel like you're being punished because you can't talk to your child. But it's just. It's so good for them. And.

[Adam Busby]

Yeah, quite a few times over the week, like, I went to, like, text Blake or. Yeah, she doesn't have her phone. I can't text her.

[Danielle Busby]

And the first thing.

[Adam Busby]

And it was weird because she was gone during father's Day, and that felt really weird.

[Danielle Busby]

Yeah.

[Adam Busby]

To, like, celebrate Father's Day, and then she's not here, and all the girls are giving me cards and stuff. I'm like, this doesn't feel right because Blake's not here.

[Danielle Busby]

I know. It felt weird.

[Adam Busby]

Yeah.

[Danielle Busby]

But I forgot what I was gonna say. Oh. So while she's gone, every time she's somewhere, the girl. Especially when they know she's gonna be gone for a couple days, the girls are like, can I sleep in Blake's bed? I want to sleep in Blake's bed. And so that's been, like, the chain every night. Like, two people in a bit in her bed.

[Adam Busby]

And it's usually always a fight.

[Danielle Busby]

It's always a fight. And so I'll tell them. I'm like, y' all can't let Blake know. She don't want y' all in here messing with all her stuff.

[Adam Busby]

And Blake wasn't home a minute. Yeah.

[Danielle Busby]

I picked like. She's like, can we have some canes? We went and got canes, got home, and Olivia was like, olivia, we slept in your bed every night.

[Adam Busby]

Blake just rolls her eyes.

[Danielle Busby]

I was like, they missed you so much. Like, they just kept crying over who's gonna sleep in Blake's bed because they miss their big sister. She's like, oh, yeah.

[Adam Busby]

Yeah. It's because Blake has a TV in

[Danielle Busby]

her room and the pianos. Yeah. So they just love. But our bed is really comfortable because

[Adam Busby]

over the summer, it's Like a thing in our house during the summer. And kind of on weekends, too, like Friday night, Saturday night.

[Danielle Busby]

A lot of people can relate to this.

[Adam Busby]

They will sleep in the playroom, and they just have like a big sleepover, like, slumber party.

[Danielle Busby]

They haven't been in their bed since school.

[Adam Busby]

Yeah, in the playroom. And so they just go to sleep watching a movie or something. Like every night.

[Danielle Busby]

It's like popcorn movie almost every night.

[Adam Busby]

Yeah, it's like a sleepover every night.

[Danielle Busby]

Yeah.

[Adam Busby]

And. And so they fight over Blake's room because Blake has a TV in her room. And so they fall asleep in tv.

[Danielle Busby]

Yeah.

[Adam Busby]

I mean, they can just fall asleep

[Danielle Busby]

in a bed too. It's not like her. It just feels really small. But I'm like, why did you want to watch it in there versus, like, the TV room? You know? Anyway, so. Yeah, what else? She came back from camp and, you know, I'm sure she's gonna. She wants to come home. And never fails. I'm sure she's gonna end up getting sick. So I got a lost voice, like, horse and stuff. But there's been so many. There was so many kids there. She. They always come back from camp and, like, they get sick.

[Adam Busby]

I wonder if that's a thing, because I. I feel like every time I get like, a sore throat from, like, yelling and stuff. Because that's what kids do at summer camp. You know, they have their big events or whatever, and they're screaming or they're wreck events, and they all come back with no voice. But every time. I feel like every time that happens to me, I always end up getting sick, like, a couple days later. It's just like the irritation in your throat. And then I end up getting, like, a head cold or something.

[Danielle Busby]

Yeah, I remember last year she was sick for like 15 days. Like, she had, like, that cough and congestion, like, forever, like, blowing her nose, like, forever. But yeah, it's decided to get her back. I felt like she got taller. I'm like, walking next to her, and then I'm like. I'm like, I can't help you with your bag because I can barely walk. My back hurts. So I was like, you're gonna. I said, I'll try to help you put it in the cart. By the way, you need to get her suitcase out.

[Adam Busby]

Yeah, I gotta load a bunch of stuff up.

[Danielle Busby]

But it's was exciting to just hear stories, and I know there's a lot more to come. Like, she's probably showering, like, gonna be sleeping like the rest of the day.

[Adam Busby]

Yeah.

[Danielle Busby]

And then just vegging out, you know, I'm sure she's extremely exhausted.

[Adam Busby]

Yeah, that girl likes to sleep just like her mom. But then whenever you're at summer camp, like, you're on a strict schedule, and they have to wake up early. They have. They're staying up late.

[Danielle Busby]

Yeah, she got. She said that the boys got in trouble because they were throwing apples or something, and. And last night or two nights ago or whatever, and I guess they. Somebody had, like, a water balloon and was reusable water balloons. And, like, she threw it, and then they came back with, like, apples, and one hit her in the butt. So she's got, like, this big bruise.

[Adam Busby]

Hit Blake in the butt.

[Danielle Busby]

She's, like, throwing it like a baseball, too.

[Adam Busby]

Geez, it hurt somebody with that.

[Danielle Busby]

Yeah, they're like, run. Like. She's like, I can't

[Adam Busby]

hard enough to give you a bruise. Yeah, they're humming it.

[Danielle Busby]

But she said they got in trouble. They had, like, we're storing, like, 50 apples in there. Their room.

[Adam Busby]

Oh, gosh.

[Danielle Busby]

Boys will be boys and stick llama beans up their nose.

[Adam Busby]

Yeah.

[Danielle Busby]

But, yeah, it was good to just get a couple little updates so far from it. And I just, like. I just listened to her, and I. I think, like, it's. It's just so. It's so hard to, like. I don't know. I don't know what I'm trying to explain, but, like, having. Having your daughter, your firstborn, too, you know, it's kind of, like, sets the tone in all the first with. Yeah, like, she coming and telling me these things, and I'm, you know, asking her questions, and she's telling me stories and all this stuff, and. And I'm, like, giving her some feedback, and. And I said, you know, do you. Did you. Like this camp was. How is it compared to last year? Blah, blah. And she said, this year. She says, this year I felt like I was. I was used more for others than, like, receiving for myself.

[Adam Busby]

That's good.

[Danielle Busby]

And so we were talking about, like. And I was like, okay, so, like, discipling and, like, leading and, like, that kind of stuff. So I just. I don't know. And I just. I just feel so proud to, like, have those conversations and, like. Like, know that, like, at least one of them is abiding and. And following.

[Adam Busby]

Yeah, she does have it.

[Danielle Busby]

And guiding and, like, she loves. She loves to learn and have knowledge of something.

[Adam Busby]

Yeah.

[Danielle Busby]

And so, you know, just hearing her talk about others at camp or experience or watching, she says, I think I was just more Excited seeing these people grow and ask questions and. And I was just like, what a big, like, thing. You know, I'm just thinking, like, man, I was in my 30s, like, when I felt like I could be used as that, you know?

[Adam Busby]

Yeah.

[Danielle Busby]

Or discipled like that. And so I. I don't know. I'm just, like, extremely proud of her. And I just feel like she's such an amazing, like, beautiful little girl. Young little woman. Girl.

[Adam Busby]

Yeah. In the level of. Just the level of maturity she carries and she.

[Danielle Busby]

And, you know, it's. It. I just. What. There's things that she desires and, like, wants that as a mom and also a girl who's gone through different levels of friendships and gone through high school and middle, like, all these things that, you know, you have more, like, wisdom or could see outside of what something big might seem now. I just. I. I love the fact that I can have these conversations with her. One, because that's.

[Adam Busby]

Yeah.

[Danielle Busby]

And now it's like, I'm not having a conversation to, like, having a constantly, like, explain yourself and explain. It's like she understands. Like, she's experiencing it and using. Using these things and that she's learning. And so I feel like I'm just, like, talking to, like, another, like, headspace, like, of a friend my age, you know, Like.

[Adam Busby]

Yeah. I feel like God. God has definitely blessed Blake with, like, wisdom and discernment.

[Danielle Busby]

Yeah.

[Adam Busby]

And to be able to understand that and comprehend that into, like, you know, decisions and stuff. There were hard decisions that we've made for her to, like, process and understand it and see it from our point of view and, like, see it as, like, a blessing and not just, you know, as a selfish teenager that's, like, only thinks about themselves and, you know, only cares about, like, this specific. They, like, hyper fixate on one thing that they want. She's able to, like, wrestle with that and understand why.

[Danielle Busby]

Yeah.

[Adam Busby]

Like, more than any other teenager I've ever. Yeah.

[Danielle Busby]

And I think.

[Adam Busby]

And I think some of it a blessing for a parent to have a kid that understands.

[Danielle Busby]

And it doesn't mean that. I mean, even today, as an adult Christian, it's. We. We still don't know everything, and we're always going to be on a growth track spiritually and, you know, but she has such a desire to share the knowledge that she's learning.

[Adam Busby]

Yeah.

[Danielle Busby]

But it's hard because some of the people around her don't know Jesus in A level. And so there's like. I mean, I remember this, like, there's this level of just, like, Timidness. Like, do I cross that line with this person and talk about this, or.

[Adam Busby]

Yeah. How is it going to be received?

[Danielle Busby]

Yeah.

[Adam Busby]

Yeah.

[Danielle Busby]

And so I think she said. She said that was, like, the highlight of camp was, like, just being able to witness and be there and have conversations with friends who are growing and having, like, these huge milestones and, like. Like, releases and confessions and, you know, that's awesome. So, like, how. I mean, I'm just like, you didn't even go there. Receiving something. Like, she's like, ask.

[Adam Busby]

Like, Blake's always been that kid that, you know, whenever we were thinking about having the quints. I mean, having one more, not the quints. I mean, Blake's just been that kid that's just different. She's, like, set apart. That made us feel like we were such great parents because, like, everything came so easy to her, and she was just way, way more mature beyond her years.

[Danielle Busby]

And in high school's hard. High school's hard, especially with moving cities, moving districts, moving schools, new people, and she's met friends and whatnot. But, I mean, you know, there's been a lot. Her life is. Her life is hard. And I think what's hard for her to understand, too, at times is that she is encountered with other people who might. Which. We talked about this in the car. Who might not agree with our lifestyle. And in certain situations, whether it's at school or at church camp or on his. At the movie, like, whatever, she can feel the weight of someone not agreeing with our values or. And that affects her in a way

[Adam Busby]

of, like, what do you mean, our values?

[Danielle Busby]

Like, people like, we love Jesus. We. We love our family. We have a podcast. We're a public life. We've shared our life for viewers. And, you know, they're just think of old neighbors who didn't like us because of the way that we shared our life. So as our kids get older, they're having. They. They. They will start to feel that if this person doesn't agree with that, that she. That they immediately assume they don't like her. Because I don't like how you are. I don't. I mean, we get this as parents, but now it's like she is getting like, well, I don't understand. I didn't do anything wrong. Or, I don't under. I don't know this. But, like, why do they not, like, why doesn't this person like me? And it's because they don't know me. They don't know you. They are assuming. And so we had this Conversation, not specifically about us, but, like, about other people and other friends. Like, what is the first thing people think about whenever they, like, your name comes up? Like, what we just talked about at church. Like, and it. Modeling the life. Like, if you.

[Adam Busby]

If.

[Danielle Busby]

If someone was to. What's the word? Copy or what is it?

[Adam Busby]

Mimic.

[Danielle Busby]

Mimic, yeah. Like, what are you showing? Like, are you mimicking the life that you hope someone would say is fruitful and faithful? And, you know, so those are things that I guess you don't necessarily, like, really think about, like, in the. In the midst or the mindset of, like, when we're doing things, but we constantly tell our kids, like, we feel called to share a life. We feel called to tell a story. And I just once again was like, you. And I told other people, like, NSA Blake. I was like, one. I said one. One story can change the life.

[Adam Busby]

Oh, yeah.

[Danielle Busby]

And she was like, talking about, like, the 5,000 and the woman at the well, how Jesus came to that one woman and she believed. And then she went and told. I was like, it just takes one person to make a change. And I was like, so if there's situations or you feel like you might be put in places or. I said, same for me. Like, sometimes. Sometimes they are hard and to have those conversations or bring up that question to a friend or to hold them accountable or I was like, but it. Sometimes it just takes one person to stand strong, you know?

[Adam Busby]

Yeah.

[Danielle Busby]

And she's very much leader.

[Adam Busby]

Well, because teenagers, I mean, it's very much so, like, they don't want to do anything that's going to negatively affect their social life. Social life around other people. But, you know. Yeah, typically all it takes is, like, one person to, like, encourage you or whatever, and then you're like, okay, like, I can do this, or, you know, this wasn't so bad. And, you know, you. You get. You get so in your own head about everything else around you and what everybody thinks of you for making a decision or are choosing to not live a certain way. And, you know. Yeah, sometimes it's just the. The encouragement from one person is like, all it takes, especially for a teenager. I mean, that's. That's like a. Such a big deal and.

[Danielle Busby]

And something that I would. Something that's so hard. I feel like as our kids get older, they become, you know, you raise them to hopefully learn how to one deal with emotions, handle emotions, have emotions and express emotions. But also, being vulnerable is. Is so hard just in general, as a human being, it's hard to be vulnerable. But when they're. Your kids are getting older. And what we experience with her, because she's our oldest, is that like, they have to. You can't just tell them anymore. You can't tell them necessarily what to do, but you're. You're teaching and hopefully molding them to be able to discern and decipher. Like, I'd rather do this than that.

[Adam Busby]

Yeah.

[Danielle Busby]

How to choose right from wrong. And I would say, like, we've been very blessed and we said this from very beginning, like, God has created someone very extraordinary and special within her and. And she's very set apart and very different than I feel like the Quint. Any. Any of our other five girls. Right. And so I just, I. I just imagine what the world will be for her, as, you know, she's an adult and, and on her own and like, all those things, like, she has so much going for her, like, but also as a teenager, you feel a lot of, like, pressure and around you with your peers and the social media world and the Snapchats and like all these things that look so fairy tale and perfect and fun and it's just. That's not the real reality of it. A lot of those kids are hurting and suffering and scared or fear or, you know, and that's what. What we used to be youth leaders of. The kids her age. Right now.

[Adam Busby]

Yeah.

[Danielle Busby]

You know, and so I just. She's telling me these things and I just keep thinking. And I told her I was like, there's things that I pray about and I want to do, like, for you and like these, these friends and like, togetherness is like. But I can't do it because, like.

[Adam Busby]

Yeah. It can't be a parent.

[Danielle Busby]

It can't be a parent. Yeah. And I was like, you've gotta have

[Adam Busby]

the initiative and you gotta have the drive to, you know, want more for yourself and want more for your friends and. And want to encourage your friends. But it's hard to do. It's hard to stick your neck out.

[Danielle Busby]

Yeah.

[Adam Busby]

As a teenager.

[Danielle Busby]

Yeah. So I don't know.

[Podcast Host]

Just.

[Danielle Busby]

It's definitely a learning curve as a mom with the first daughter doing all the first. Experiencing the first.

[Adam Busby]

Yeah.

[Danielle Busby]

But the challenge of it is, you know, I have to tell myself, like, I can't. You can't. I think I posted about this yesterday. It was like, you cannot. Your past does not define you and you cannot live in the past. You can only make decisions and changes going forward. Yeah. So though my life, I did not grow up with this type of relationship with my Mom. Or these type of communications or how. How to deal with this. That was a big part of my life, but it's not who I have to be with my own daughters.

[Adam Busby]

I mean, you can't. You can't use your past as, like, a crutch or as an excuse.

[Danielle Busby]

You gotta, like, turn the page, the cycle, break the cycle. And so, you know, I think it gets easier and easier the more you have the conversations. And so, you know, we share this a lot about, like, take. Take any simple moments and make them intentional with your children, especially in a car. And half the time it works. And half the time they're like, oh, I don't want to talk right now, you know, or they want to take a nap or like, whatever. But, like, you gotta. You gotta get in their faces and have conversations with them, and you gotta encourage them, and you gotta make sure that you say the words, I love you, and you hug them and you look at their eyes and, you know, and I mean, it's not coming from that. It's. It's. It's hard to break that cycle. And so. But it's so rewarding to.

[Adam Busby]

When it clicks.

[Danielle Busby]

It's so rewarding to me to. As a mom. And just thinking back to family camp, the conversation I had with her, to, like, even just today, it's just like, it's such a beautiful relationship. Like, you know, and I want more of that. I want it to grow stronger and better and deeper. But just to know, like, where it is, just as of right now, this moment, you almost, like, kind of think, what would life have been like if my life was something of this level? Like, what would. How would it be different? But yet that wasn't life. So what do we want for our own future with our kids? And how do we want them? You know, what are we doing to raise them to be the people that we wish we were, in a sense, not making them, but wish I had that relationship like this. Wish I had the friends like this. Wish I had these. And it takes mom and dad having those conversations and asking them questions, you know, like, you know, how many of these parents would you say picked up their kid and say, what the. How was camp? They're gonna say, how is camp? You have fun. Tell me about it. Blah, blah. But are any of them saying, did God reveal anything to you while you were there? Did. Did you have any breakthrough in spiritual growth? Or, like, like those real defining questions that are life changing, you know? So, yeah, I mean, those are the things. Like, you. You just got to Put your foot out and say, like, I'm gonna be the steward of this. I'm going to teach you. I'm going to tell you, like, it's okay to talk about these things.

[Adam Busby]

You know, I mean, the sad truth is most parents use church and youth groups and stuff like that, do that work to do the work for them. Yeah, that's, I mean, that's the sad truth of it. They're just, they're hoping their kids are being discipled by the church rather than the parents taking on that responsibility.

[Danielle Busby]

And, and it's not the church's responsibility, it's the parents with the church being an extra.

[Adam Busby]

A lot of, a lot of parents out there. I, I mean they may not be there spiritually to be able to like handle that conversation.

[Danielle Busby]

And that's part of what our conversations were today. Like, their families aren't this. So how do you, how do you help some that are wanting to know Jesus more, but their families have nothing to do with church in general, you know.

[Adam Busby]

Yeah, a lot of the kids that she probably went to camp with, I mean, the parents and the families as a whole rarely go to church together

[Danielle Busby]

or at all or, and, or even Christians. Yeah.

[Adam Busby]

Yeah. And so it's great that they allow their kid and you know, to go to camp to have those kind of experiences.

[Danielle Busby]

And it's probably not what they're thinking would happen. Yeah, they're thinking, oh, it's a vacation for them, it's a social. They'll have fun.

[Adam Busby]

I'm kid free this week or whatever summer camp for, for a kid is, you know, could be a life changing experience. And I mean, when I grew up,

[Danielle Busby]

I went to like some Baptist church camps with friends and I was Catholic and I, it was a completely different world for me and it was intimidating and scary. But those changed my, those. I, yeah, those are defining moments in my walk where I heard things that I've never heard before that were reiterated when I read the Bible and the stories like over and over. So it's like it, it might not be life changing for them the first time, but I guarantee, I know that the Holy Spirit works and moves amongst those, those events and those. That's super impactful for these teens and

[Adam Busby]

that's why it's great for, that's why it's so good, these summer camps, to not allow cell phones there, to not allow those outside distractions and let, let the kids completely separate from that. To be able to really like think internally and think, you know, spiritually and think without having to worry about, you know, all the what ifs out there in the world or, or who would think this or whatever, because they're completely disconnected for a week. And that's great to be completely disconnected for a week where you can focus on yourself and really, like, start to process internally of, you know, what really matters out there, you know, in your heart. And so it's, it's, it's great. I mean, yeah, I mean, summer camp for a youth is invaluable.

[Danielle Busby]

Listen, I don't, I don't, I don't want to go back to summer camp and family camp once a year would be great enough for my body, but it does make me miss the level of rawness and, and, and brokenness that a lot of these teens have, because it reminds me of when we were youth leaders of this age and what you might think is the perfect family. How much brokenness is in there and how much these kids, how much, you know, teens are struggling.

[Adam Busby]

Yeah, it was very eye opening, you know, being in senior high ministry. And you know, from the outside, you see some of these kids that are very, you know, well, to do families that you think from the outside looking in, have it all together. And those are usually the kids that are like, leaning on you the most because there's so much brokenness in the home and just so much disconnectedness with families and stuff. And. But from the outside, you know, in the community and stuff like that, they look like the perfect family. And so you just never know what's going on with somebody, you know, talking about earlier, outside expectations or outside, you know, the way that people perceive you and they just think you, they have you figured out and there's so much more to you, to that reality of who you really are. I mean, I remember so many conversations that I've had with people, new people that knew us from social media or TV or whatever, and, and then you spend a weekend with them somewhere or at an event and you really get to know them. And then, you know, at the end of it, they're like, man, like, you are so much different than like what I thought you were going to be like. And so, you know, that's, that's a big thing to take away is like, you know, like, get to know people. I mean, you, you never know what somebody's truly like, especially if you see them on social media, especially if you, you know, just hear about somebody from other people. Like, get to know them. Like, take the time to get to know them because, you know, it, it's worth it.

[Danielle Busby]

Yeah, yeah.

[Adam Busby]

Yeah.

[Danielle Busby]

Yeah. So I think, you know, this podcast definitely drifted onto a different topic than what had planned. But that's okay, I think, for, you know, those listening, like, of parents, teenage parents, like, really any age parent. I think the. One of the best things that you can do for your kids, one is always pray for your kids. Yeah, that's something that is super special and I feel like. Is like a gift that we can do is just pray for them and over them and with them. But also just don't assume that because they are a certain age that they have figured it out or that they know this or that they can do something, because in all honesty, sometimes what they want most is to be with you. Even whenever they're pushing themselves away. What I feel like they need is more intimate, raw communication. And it takes boldness of parents to get uncomfortable to have those conversations with their kids. And it's not easy. I mean, especially growing up, not really having those. It's like. But you can. You can break the cycle in your family if that's. If that's what you want and. And don't. Don't live by what you were born into, raised into what life was. There's always. You can't change the past. But, you know, go forward. Make. Make. If. If you want better for your family, then do better. Have harder conversations, be more intentional, be more relational, be more present. I mean, all these things, like, you're like, this is your legacy, like your family, you know, And I think that there's no. There's no greater gift than to be able to, you know, Jesus gave up his life for us. So why. What. What am I doing that's wasting away? What. What? Like, there's so much of our days, like, and this is just on my head topic, just because 1. Blake coming back from camp, but also talking with Priscilla this morning about coming back from Mozambique, mission trip. And so just like, being on fire for God over there with, you know, the slums and, you know, it's just. It's like we are so privileged in so much of this world, and yet they have nothing but their faith and their hearts are so grand.

[Adam Busby]

Yeah.

[Danielle Busby]

And yet to. And also, just like I was saying with Blake, like, sometimes it takes one person to make that conversation or to share or to something, you know?

[Adam Busby]

Yeah. I mean, we worry so much comfort.

[Danielle Busby]

It's that one thing. It just takes one person to be bold because. Yeah, there are people who don't know.

[Adam Busby]

Yeah.

[Danielle Busby]

Don't know, you know, about Jesus or that you don't have to. You don't have to do works to be loved. You don't have to perform to be loved. You don't have to pay for your way to heaven. Like, it's all been for. Taken care of.

[Adam Busby]

Yeah.

[Danielle Busby]

So, anyways, that's good. Any other thoughts for today?

[Adam Busby]

No, I mean, we. We had, like, an idea of, like, what we were gonna be talking about today, but I think just, you know,

[Danielle Busby]

the moment took over.

[Adam Busby]

Yeah.

[Danielle Busby]

I mean, hope this is okay with you guys.

[Adam Busby]

The podcast just took a life of its own. Whenever you're just kind of talking about the week and stuff, and, you know that that's what happens a lot. I mean, we may have an idea what we're going to talk about that day or an outline of, you know, a subject that we're gonna hit. And then, you know, you start talking about and processing, you know, even just like, highlights of the week, and then the podcast can take a completely different direction. So.

[Danielle Busby]

Yeah, I think that's good. I think this is. I think. I think people can relate to this and. And hopefully take something out of it. I mean, that's always the hope.

[Adam Busby]

Yeah.

[Danielle Busby]

Of why we're doing this is that just like we tell our own kids in a family, we're sharing to share, and hopefully that the Holy Spirit will work through something that we say and it impacts someone's life.

[Adam Busby]

Yeah. You know, I mean, some.

[Danielle Busby]

It's not about us.

[Adam Busby]

Yeah, some. Somebody may be completely bored by a certain conversation that we have, but then you'll get, you know, a dozen messages from people, like, talking about how much that spoke to them right now going on in their life, like, whatever's going on. And so that's why we just let the conversation flow. Just because you never know what, you know, the Holy Spirit may just, like, lead through a conversation, like, hey, I think you should talk about this today. There's probably somebody out there that needs to hear what you're talking about or, you know, whenever you're dealing with, you know, teenage kids and. And raising kids. And there's. There's stuff that we can glean from everybody's situation and what other parents are dealing with right now. And I mean, so many. So many parents out there are dealing with this kind of thing right here.

[Danielle Busby]

Yeah.

[Adam Busby]

So.

[Danielle Busby]

And I think, just remember, like, if you want better for your family, look at your surroundings. Look where you place yourselves. Look at who are the people you place yourself around, because those are the people that are you. You are who you hang around. You are who you place yourself around. Doesn't mean you want to be doesn't mean that's what you desire for your family. But I would say open your eyes, take a view of it, and if you want different, make some changes.

[Adam Busby]

Yep.

[Danielle Busby]

Mic drop.

[Adam Busby]

It's good stuff. All right, guys.

[Danielle Busby]

All right. Love you guys.

[Adam Busby]

Yeah, thanks for tuning in to episode 88 or the reality podcast. Danielle's got a. A date with a water aerobics class.

[Danielle Busby]

Yes, I do.

[Adam Busby]

All right, we'll see you in the next one. We love you guys.