Tony Robbins - Lasting Change Requires a Driving Force | Motivational Speech - Motivate Me; Inspirational Speeches

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[00:00]
Tony Robbins
I cashed out my entire 401k thinking someone stole my identity. A fake email cost me my dream home. After I sent my personal information to
[00:08]
Ryan Reynolds
a scammer, my AI agent wired thousands to an account I'd never seen.
[00:12]
Gen Digital / Brand Announcer
When billions of people feel unsafe, that's no longer a security problem. It's an economic one. At Gen, we're building the trust layer for a more fearless planet with products and technologies from our global brands, Norton, Lifelock, Avast and Money Lion. See it in action@genndigital.com hey, it's Ryan
[00:31]
Ryan Reynolds
Reynolds here from Mint Mobile. Now I was looking for fun ways
[00:34]
Tony Robbins
to tell you that Mint's offer of
[00:35]
Ryan Reynolds
unlimited Premium Wireless for $15 a month is back. So I thought it would be fun if we made $15 bills. But it turns out that's very illegal. So there goes my big idea for the commercial. Give it a try@mintmobile.com Switch upfront payment
[00:52]
Gen Digital / Brand Announcer
of $45 for three months, $90 for six months, or $180 for a 12 month plan. Required $15 per month equivalent to taxes and fees. Extra initial plan term only greater than 50gb.me slow when network is busy. See terms.
[01:00]
Tony Robbins
When you want a real lasting change, you have to change the driving force. Because we have six human needs. Certainty. Uncertainty. Because think about this. If you were certain every moment of your life, you know what they're going to say before they're going to say it. But if you knew what someone say before they're going to say it, you know what's going to happen, what's going to happen every moment of every day. In the beginning it'd be cool. But after a while, what would you feel?
[01:22]
Ryan Reynolds
Bored.
[01:22]
Tony Robbins
Out of your mind. Bored. So God in her infinite wisdom gave us uncertainty. Third need is significance. They need to feel unique. You need to feel special. The need to feel important. Who do you think has that need? All of us. Everyone? Yeah. Some people do it by earrings. Some people buy tattoos in certain areas. Some people buy their art. Some people the way they dress. Some people buy their money. Some people be more generous. Everyone finds a way, okay? Anytime you meet a belief, an emotion or a behavior meets at least three of these six needs, you will become addicted to that thought, that feeling or that behavior. It could be a positive one or a negative one, but you will become addicted to it. Fourth Need. Connection and love. Everybody wants love. Most people settle for connection because they've had love. At one point, it was so painful when it ended, they decided to settle for connection. How can you get it. You can get it by going for a run and feeling connected to God of the universe, nature. You can get it by prayer. You can get it by being with some friends. You can get it by making love. You can get it by getting a dog. There's a million ways to feel connection and love. Some are positive, some are negative. Some people get connected by their problems. They're always comparing problems. You ever seen two people comparing? But I have this. Well, you think that's bad, let me tell you mine. They're arguing over significance, and they're connecting through their problems. The secret to it, all of the final two needs. These are the spiritual needs. Not religious, but spiritual. And that is we all must grow. When you grow, you feel alive. And if you don't grow, you start to die inside. But we grow so we have something finally to give, which is where meaning comes in life. If you're missing, growing, contributing, you will not feel fulfilled. There's the science of achievement. There's the art of fulfillment. They're two different skills. If you want to extraordinary life, you need both. If you look at a great athlete, what makes a great athlete, there's that sense of not only practice, and you got it in your nervous system. You're incredible in your strategy in the sport, but there's the state you bring to the table. So I'm sure you've seen an athlete, a basketball player in the NBA about to shoot a free throw, a kicker in the NFL, and they go jogging out there. And you look at them, you go, they're going to miss it. And sure enough, they do. Everyone's had that experience. How did they know? They saw the lack of certainty in their body, right? And so when you try to get yourself to do something you've never done before, it produces that kind of uncertainty. So I always tell people, if you want a breakthrough, I think of it as three things at the most simple level to create a breakthrough. A breakthrough being maybe there's an area that you've not gotten to where you want to be, and you've promised yourself you're going to do it. And then you don't follow through, or you fall back and you're frustrated with yourself. Maybe most people have had something like that, but one day they did breakthrough. They did finally say, enough of this. And that day, that moment, they changed their relationship. They quit what they're doing. They started something new. And what I found is there's three parts to that breakthrough. And if you want to break through in any area, these are the Things you got to do. But I want to give you in reverse order real fast. Okay? So reverse order is. Most people, they want to make something happen, they focus on the strategy. Now, I'm a strategist. I get paid to be able to show someone how to save a decade. Because the right strategy in business can save you 10 years. Right. But as much as I love strategy, it's not what I start with, with people. The reason is because the natural question is, I want to achieve this, but how do I do it? There's nothing wrong with answering the question how. It's just the sequence of these that are critical. It's like if I told you this is someone's phone number and you have the right numbers and you dial the wrong order, you're not going to reach them. If you knew the vault numbers, but you put in the wrong order, the vault doesn't open. When it comes to a breakthrough, most people are focused on the strategy, the how to. And the problem is, when you go to how to do something you've never done before, it brings uncertainty. Yes. And uncertainty creates hesitancy, and hesitancy kills momentum. Hesitancy kills performance. Hesitancy kills, you know, most things that really matter in your life. So it's not a strategy problem. People think it's a strategy problem. It's not. The real problem is they have a story. So think of these three S's. The story is locking them in place. The story is, you said a belief, but when you stack a set of beliefs together, you build a story and you tell it to yourself over and over again until you believe it. So the story is, I've tried everything.
[05:27]
Ryan Reynolds
Yes.
[05:28]
Tony Robbins
And I'll say to them, really? Everything? How many things you've tried? I've tried thousands of things. Then I go, okay, name them. And they'll go, I've tried two things. Yeah, yeah. These two things that don't work, I did over and over again. Right. You know, but as long as you believe that, a belief is the feeling of certainty about what can be done or can't be done. Right. Who you are and who you're not. So when you go first for how you have uncertainty, I call it the tyranny of how. You don't want to get to the how. First, you got to deal with the story. Before that, if you change the story, you can get a strategy that works. But the order people work on is strategy. Rarely pay attention to story. But the one before that is where we need to start. It's your state. So that state of certainty, that state of passion, that state of conviction, that stage of absolute determination. Right. That state that every great athlete has, any great leader has, any great business person has. If you have that state, it will change your story and it'll change what you're able to do strategy wise. So the most important thing to do is change your state first. That's why most people fail to achieve what they want. They have not become masters in their own mental, emotional state. And you know, in our events, that's my number one piece. Because without that, you won't get lasting change, you'll get temporary change. Once I get enough state, I can change the story. That's easy. Once I change the story, if I don't give you the strategy, you'll find a strategy. You'll make it happen. You'll find the way, you'll make the way. You've lived this as an athlete and as a businessman. So I look at this and say, the problem is most people do it in reverse order. When they go in reverse order, they stop the process. They don't know how. They freak out about the uncertainty, their story doesn't support them, and now they're in a lousy state. And so they try something, Try something for a little while and never follow through. Yes. So that's the breakthrough. I do it. So it's, it is a belief system, but I want you to see it's a little more complex than that. It's the state we get. What am I supposed to do? Your state will determine it. So if you're fearful, he who states his loss, you're going to, you're going to justify. If you're more aggressive and there's something you really want, you're going to, you know, it's like, I got to make this thing happen. Right. It's a different piece. So you pick your beliefs based on your state. Unconsciously. Each stage has predictable challenges and opportunities. And the more you can know the pattern in advance, the more you can anticipate. Anticipation is power. Reaction puts you in fear. People say now to me, they'll say things like, well, they coming. And all these changes occurring, like when people lose their jobs, when there's no certainty outside world, how are people gonna have certainty? And I go, let me give you a clue. There was never any external certainty. You've had rented certainty. You've convinced yourself hypnotically that you're certain because you had a job and you had this, none of this. And you walk across the street and get hit by a bus, right? There's so much that can happen. So we hate uncertainty so much and we want it so strongly. But if we link it to our job or to an income or to a person responding the way we want to, then you're gonna live a very fearful life. If you train yourself to feel that internal certainty, which is what you did, and anticipate as much as possible, and, you know, no matter what, I'll find the way, that is a different identity. Yes. You've gone to a level of not just how to deal with things, but the identity is, I'm the guy that will find the way for my kids and for my family. Right. And that is freedom. No one escapes massive, massive stress. You either use stress or stress uses you. Yes. And the way you use stress is, you know, the whole phrase. They'd say, you know, when you're going through hell, keep going. If you keep going, three things happen. Number one, you discover how strong you really are. It's the only way you're going to find it is to push through it. And then each time you do it, by the way, you get stronger, stronger. Second, you figure out who your real friends are, not your Facebook friends, because when all hell's breaking loose, no one sticks around except real friends. And then the third thing, most important thing is it gives you, like, almost a little immunity to future stress, because it's like a vaccination of it almost. So there's great value in that process. Now, if you make it through those steps now, that internal certainty inside you just builds and builds and builds. You see the patterns you've not seen before, and it frees you.
[09:28]
Ryan Reynolds
I'm curious, from those who are at the top of their game to those who are struggling day by day, what is the number one limiting belief that most people have that keeps them from accomplishing what they want?
[09:41]
Tony Robbins
It's different depending upon what level of life you get to, but people usually bump up against, I'm not enough. But the idea that maybe I'm not enough for this level that I'm going to or the level I want to go to in my life, whether it's, they might be great in business, but they're not doing great in the relationship, or they're great in a relationship, but they're not good with their kids. They're good with the kids, but their body's not where they want to be. They got all the money, but not the body. Right. And so I think most people bump up against, I cashed out my entire 401k thinking someone stole My identity. A fake email cost me my dream home. After I sent my personal information to
[10:11]
Ryan Reynolds
a scammer, my AI agent wired thousands to an account I'd never seen.
[10:16]
Gen Digital / Brand Announcer
When billions of people feel unsafe, that's no longer a security problem. It's an economic one. At Jen, we're building the trust layer for a more fearless planet with products and technologies from our global brands, Norton, Lifelock, Avast and Moneylion. See it in action@genndigital.com the most effective
[10:35]
Ryan Reynolds
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[12:05]
Tony Robbins
that something in me is not enough. And the deeper fear is that I'm not enough. I won't be loved. And so it's an unconscious fear. So most people push it aside by focusing on what they're good at and not taking care of those other things till they bite them. The relationship, body, whatever it is, the kids. Or they come up with a story about, well, I don't need to be good at that, or that's just not my nature. And so I'm often called in to help somebody, you know, sharpen their skills. But you're right, usually there is a limiting belief of some sort. So I couldn't say there's one. But if I was saying the most dominant one, it's like, I've never done this before, so how the hell am I going to do it, right? There's uncertainty. When people ask me, like, what is the one common denominator of people that succeed on a massive scale around the world? I'd always in the beginning say, well, I love wicked intelligence, but I know a lot of very smart people that can't fight their way out of a paper bag in their relationship or their finances. You know, they're smart in one area, not another. But the one that is absolutely, completely accurate is hunger. The hunger to be more, to do more, to give more, to share more. Somebody who has a hunger that doesn't die. Not a hunger to make a certain amount of money or a hunger to achieve a swimsuit size, but a hunger that's unquenchable. Those are the people that. You know their names because they have an impact. So it's like whether it's Richard Rancid, who's in his 70s, he has the same hunger today as when he was 16 years old in that crypt in your country, coming up with virgin, right? I mean, same level. Let's give it a go, right? He's got that peace, you know, to me, that's the gift. And stoking your hunger or awaking someone's hunger that doesn't have it, that's a real gift. And that's one of the gifts I think I've tried to refine within myself and help people with. Because I believe there's three decisions you make every moment of your life. You're making them right now. If you're listening to me and so is your audience, the first one is, what are you going to focus on? You're going to be focused on what happened yesterday, what you're going to have for lunch, what I'm saying, how it relates to you. There are millions of things you can focus on, but you don't experience life. Experience the life you focus on. And most of us are distortion deletion creatures. Our brains don't take it all in consciously. It's too much. So our brains delete things, we distort things, we generalize things so we can make it through our lives. And so if you don't control your focus, you react. The minute you focus on something, your brain has to figure out what does this Mean, is this the end of the beginning? Is this person dissing me? Are they challenging me? Are they coaching me? Are they loving me? And whatever meaning you give, it produces emotion. And out of that emotion, you make the third decision. What am I going to do? Everyone gets called on the journey. Most people try to resist it, but that journey, that's what the call is. It's a call to grow. So I'm, I'm big on change your story, change your life. And I'm big on understanding the narrative of where you are in the story of your life. Because if you understand where you are, it gives context, it gives meaning, and it doesn't make you feel overwhelmed. Change is never a matter of ability. It's always a matter of strong enough reasons of motive. If you got strong enough reasons, you can do just about anything. And so I really believe that the secret to life is to find something you care about more than yourself that gives you that pull, motivation. And then you're never going to lack for energy, you're never going to lack for passion, you're never going to lack for anything. And you're going to have a life that's extremely meaningful. No life is calling you. What are you going to give? Not, not just what you want to give, but what people need. And so my focus is I give people what they want, but my goal is so I can give them what they need, which is a life that has more meaning. You know, you're going to battle with internal things within you and external things, but if you keep going, you're going to eventually slay your dragons and you come out and the hero of your own life and you have something to share. It isn't bullshit. It's not something you read somewhere. It's something you've lived, something you want and everybody can feel you've lived it because it's a different level of ownership, you know, and then by the way, as soon as you do that, it happens again. You're called on another journey, you have a new level of challenge that you need to go on. It just never ends. But it's, it makes life really, really beautiful. How can people who are always very hard on themselves learn to build up their self esteem a little bit more? I don't know if self esteem is the answer. You know, I think, I don't think it's bad to be hard on yourself as long as you also celebrate when the victories happen. But you know, so many people will tell you I have poor self esteem because when I was a kid, people Said this to me and that to me. It's convenient that you remember those things and not the positive things that also occur. Obviously, I think it's more important is to realize that self esteem is earned. It's only earned by you, with yourself. You're not going to get self esteem because everybody praises you. Somebody can tell your whole life that you're brilliant, you're a genius, you're beautiful, you're handsome and you not believe it. Someone can tell you you're a piece of crap and you're never going to become anything. And there's a part you can say, I'll show you, as many people have, and then they develop drive out of it, right? So it's really. Self esteem comes from doing incredibly difficult things where you know you pushed yourself. It's not virtue signaling, it's not telling people about it. It's what you know inside your soul is true. And the more you do things that are incredibly difficult, and especially things that are meaningful, meaning they're not just about yourself, the higher that esteem would be. I think the most important thing for self esteem is to find something you care about more than yourself. If you find something you care about more than you, you won't be thinking about yourself all the time and all your bullsh t self esteem just goes out the window. The real question is, what do you want if you want an extraordinary life? My definition, that is life on your terms. Some people it's three beautiful children, a white picket fence. Some people it's building a multi billion dollar business. Somebody else that's writing poetry instead of looking for somebody else. It's like, okay, what do you really want from your life and aligning yourself with moving forward towards what you really want, if you can do that in a way that also you feel serving others simultaneously. There's a, there's a sense of meaning in life that can't be replaced by self esteem or praise or compliments or being nice to yourself. And I don't think it's bad to be tough on yourself. I'm pretty tough on myself. I'll be honest with you. Being overly tough on yourself usually comes by making comparisons that don't make sense. You're comparing to somebody else's life that has a totally different path, a totally different experience. We all develop in different stages and different things. We all want different things. But eventually you wake up and say it's good to be strong with yourself. But beating yourself up just lowers your energy. And when your energy gets lower, you produce less and you don't have the same level of joy. You don't have the, the impact that you want to have, nor do you have the excitement that you really want to have. So I look at it as something that it's worth earning your own self esteem, but it's really not the secret. The secret is find something else you obsess about more than yourself and you'll have a level of energy that will compel you over the long term. When I began, I began with a fuel which was like, I'm gonna show them. You know, my, it was anger that drove me, you know, I'm just gonna show you type of thing. But that fuel doesn't last. And then the next fuel that people tend to use is I gotta succeed. But there's a little fear underneath that that's driving them, which is like, what if I don't versus a knowing? You know, it's like if you give your all every day, your gifts will make room for you. And it's like having a knowingness that things were are going to be fine. And then there's the next level, which is you start to know who you are and you're not trying to prove it to yourself or other people. And it's just, you just want to help. It's the difference between what I would call push motivation and pull. Right? Push is I'm going to make this, this happen. And it takes tremendous willpower. And I know you have plenty of willpower. I do as well. But there's a limit to willpower. But there's no limit to pull. Pull is when there's something magnificent that you want to serve, something that you're, you've got an obsession for to create or to do or make happen. And that doesn't it, you know, you don't lose that energy, you don't lose those components and you're able to laugh and enjoy along the way. I think it's important to realize wherever focus goes, energy flows. It's corny, but it's true, right? In fact, maybe an easier way of saying it is we don't experience life, none of us do. We experience the life we focus on. So in any moment, what's wrong is always available, so is what's right. So it's not about being positive, it's about being intelligent. You know, you gotta look at the impact of what you're believing and you gotta look at intellectual, say, you know, where's my focus going? There's, I can always be upset about something. I can always find something to be joyous or at least grateful for, which leads to joy. And I think it's learning to discipline your disappointments, you know, not allow them to grow and to move on and to use whatever life is giving you. Keep getting around things you're not used to and let something hit you and something's going to strike you, something's going to wake you up, something is going to make you feel more desired, desire more, want to give something to life as opposed to just live your life. That's why we've gotta grow. I cashed out my entire 401k thinking someone stole my identity. A fake email cost me my dream home. After I sent my personal information to
[21:15]
Ryan Reynolds
a scammer, my AI agent wired thousands to an account I'd never seen.
[21:19]
Gen Digital / Brand Announcer
When billions of people feel unsafe, that's no longer a security problem. It's an economic one. At jen, we're building the trust layer for a more fearless planet with products and technologies from our global brands, Norton, Lifelock, Avast and Money Lion. See it in action@gendigital.com.
[21:39]
Ryan Reynolds
hey, it's your ceiling vent. So I'm dripping. Could be the rain, could be the upstairs bathroom. Yikes. You could hire the guy your neighbor recommended, but I'm pretty sure that's just his cousin. Do we know if he's licensed or does he just own a ladder? Listen to your home. Go with thumbtack. Upload a photo or voice note and we'll diagnose your project and match you with the right pro for the job. Thumbtack? We know homes. Hire the right pro today.

Summary6 min read

Podcast Summary — Motivate Me; Inspirational Speeches Episode: Tony Robbins - Lasting Change Requires a Driving Force | Motivational Speech
Host: The Mindset Guru
Guest: Tony Robbins (with occasional comments and prompts by Ryan Reynolds)

Episode Overview

This episode presents a powerhouse motivational segment from Tony Robbins, focusing on what it truly takes to create lasting change in your life. Robbins shares the psychology behind human needs, the misconceptions about change, and actionable advice for overcoming personal barriers. The conversation, energized by Robbins’ distinctive candor and intensity, weaves through themes of internal motivation, hunger, purpose, and the art of fulfillment versus merely achieving goals. Anyone seeking transformation or a reset on their personal drive will find tactical wisdom and transformative questions to spark action.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

The Six Human Needs (01:00 — 02:40)

Certainty & Uncertainty: Robbins stresses all humans crave both security and variety. Too much predictability creates boredom, while uncertainty brings vitality.
- Quote: “If you were certain every moment of your life... in the beginning, it'd be cool. But after a while, what would you feel?”
  Ryan Reynolds: “Bored.”
  Tony Robbins: “Out of your mind. Bored.” (01:20)
Significance: Everyone wants to feel unique or important, achieved by different means—status, generosity, lifestyle, or even problems.
Connection/Love: Universally sought after; some settle for connection if love is painful or lost.
Growth & Contribution: The final two needs are "spiritual, not religious"—growing to feel alive, and contributing to something bigger than oneself.
- Quote: “There's the science of achievement. There's the art of fulfillment... If you want an extraordinary life, you need both.” (02:10)

The Three S's of Breakthrough (Strategy, Story, State) (03:35 — 05:55)

Robbins describes why most people fail to make permanent changes: they focus on the wrong sequence—strategy first, rather than state and story.
State: The emotional and mental state is the foundation. Confidence, passion, or determination set the platform.
Story: The beliefs and narratives we tell ourselves either lock us into old patterns or liberate us.
Strategy: Only after establishing the first two should you work on “how” to change.
- Quote: “If you change the story, you can get a strategy that works. But the order people work on is strategy, rarely pay attention to story. But the one before that is where we need to start. It’s your state.” (05:10)
Memorable Illustration:
“It’s like if I told you this is someone’s phone number and you have the right numbers and you dial in the wrong order, you’re not going to reach them.” (04:50)

Uncertainty & Internal Certainty (07:50 — 09:00)

External sources of certainty (jobs, relationships) are illusions; real certainty is cultivated internally.
Quote: “There was never any external certainty. You’ve had rented certainty... If you train yourself to feel that internal certainty—which is what you did—and anticipate as much as possible, and, you know, no matter what, I'll find the way, that is a different identity.” (08:45)
Using stress as a tool: Real strength, true friendships, and immunity to future stresses are earned through adversity.

The Core Limiting Belief (“I’m Not Enough”) (09:41 — 12:00)

At every level, people struggle with the sense of not being enough—whether in relationships, work, parenting, or health.
- Quote: “But people usually bump up against, ‘I’m not enough.’ The deeper fear is that if I’m not enough, I won’t be loved.” (09:45, 12:04)
Hunger is the single greatest trait for high achievers—not intelligence or skills, but an insatiable drive that persists regardless of accomplishment.
- “The hunger to be more, to do more, to give more, to share more... those are the people you know their names because they have an impact.” (12:20)

Focus, Meaning, and Motive (13:00 — 15:20)

Robbins teaches that what you choose to focus on determines your emotional state—and your effectiveness.
We don’t experience “life”—we experience what we focus on.
- Quote: “If you don’t control your focus, you react.” (13:15)
Change isn’t about ability—it’s about motive; powerful reasons (“why”) can move you past almost any obstacle.
Quote: “If you got strong enough reasons, you can do just about anything.” (14:35)
The call to growth is a recurring “hero’s journey” — not a one-time event.

Building Real Self Esteem (16:00 — 20:30)

Self-esteem is earned, not given by praise; it’s the result of overcoming difficult challenges and pushing personal boundaries.
- Quote: “It’s not virtue-signaling, it’s not telling people about it. It’s what you know inside your soul is true. And the more you do things that are incredibly difficult, and especially things that are meaningful... the higher that esteem would be.” (17:50)
The primary solution for self-doubt is finding a purpose outside yourself.
- “If you find something you care about more than you, you won’t be thinking about yourself all the time and all your bullshit self-esteem just goes out the window.” (18:25)
Difference between “push” (force of will, fueled by anger or fear) and “pull” (energy from a greater passion or purpose). Pull is limitless.
- Quote: “There’s a limit to willpower. But there’s no limit to pull.” (19:45)
Key life lesson: “Wherever focus goes, energy flows... we don’t experience life, none of us do. We experience the life we focus on.” (20:15)
Discipline your disappointments and stay open to life’s lessons to grow and sustain motivation.

Memorable Quotes & Moments (w/ Timestamps)

“We have six human needs... Certainty. Uncertainty... The need to feel unique... Connection and love... We all must grow... We grow to give… If you’re missing growing, contributing, you will not feel fulfilled.”
— Tony Robbins (01:00 — 02:15)
“Anytime you meet a belief, an emotion or a behavior meets at least three of these six needs, you will become addicted to that thought, that feeling, or that behavior. It could be positive or negative.”
— Tony Robbins (01:50)
“Most people think it’s a strategy problem. It’s not... The real problem is they have a story.”
— Tony Robbins (05:01)
“Anticipation is power. Reaction puts you in fear.”
— Tony Robbins (07:55)
“There was never any external certainty. You’ve had rented certainty... If you train yourself to feel that internal certainty... that is freedom.”
— Tony Robbins (08:45)
“No one escapes massive, massive stress. You either use stress or stress uses you.”
— Tony Robbins (09:01)
“It’s different depending on what level of life you get to, but people usually bump up against, ‘I’m not enough’...The deeper fear is if I’m not enough I won’t be loved.”
— Tony Robbins (09:41, 12:04)
“The one [quality] that is absolutely, completely accurate is hunger... those are the people you know their names because they have an impact.”
— Tony Robbins (12:28)
“Change is never a matter of ability. It’s always a matter of strong enough reasons of motive.”
— Tony Robbins (14:35)
“Self-esteem is earned. It’s only earned by you, with yourself.”
— Tony Robbins (17:25)
“There’s a limit to willpower. But there’s no limit to pull.”
— Tony Robbins (19:45)
“Wherever focus goes, energy flows.”
— Tony Robbins (20:15)

Timestamps for Important Segments

01:00 — Introduction to the six human needs
03:35 — The three S’s of breakthrough: State, Story, Strategy
07:50 — On external vs. internal certainty and dealing with stress
09:41 & 12:04 — Limiting belief: “I’m not enough” and its consequences
13:00 — The power of focus and meaning-making
16:00 — How real self-esteem is earned
19:45 — Push vs. pull motivation, and maintaining long-term drive

Final Thoughts

Tony Robbins delivers a framework to understand why change is hard, why most motivation fizzles out, and how to properly harness emotional and mental states for breakthrough results. His blend of practical psychology, personal anecdotes, and tough-love motivation offers listeners a layered approach—moving beyond positive thinking to disciplined focus, finding powerful meaning, and always nurturing an unquenchable hunger for growth and contribution.

This episode isn’t just a pep talk; it’s a roadmap for deep, internal transformation and sustained motivation, distilled by one of the most influential thought leaders in personal development.

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Transcript21 lines

[00:00]
Tony Robbins
I cashed out my entire 401k thinking someone stole my identity. A fake email cost me my dream home. After I sent my personal information to
[00:08]
Ryan Reynolds
a scammer, my AI agent wired thousands to an account I'd never seen.
[00:12]
Gen Digital / Brand Announcer
When billions of people feel unsafe, that's no longer a security problem. It's an economic one. At Gen, we're building the trust layer for a more fearless planet with products and technologies from our global brands, Norton, Lifelock, Avast and Money Lion. See it in action@genndigital.com hey, it's Ryan
[00:31]
Ryan Reynolds
Reynolds here from Mint Mobile. Now I was looking for fun ways
[00:34]
Tony Robbins
to tell you that Mint's offer of
[00:35]
Ryan Reynolds
unlimited Premium Wireless for $15 a month is back. So I thought it would be fun if we made $15 bills. But it turns out that's very illegal. So there goes my big idea for the commercial. Give it a try@mintmobile.com Switch upfront payment
[00:52]
Gen Digital / Brand Announcer
of $45 for three months, $90 for six months, or $180 for a 12 month plan. Required $15 per month equivalent to taxes and fees. Extra initial plan term only greater than 50gb.me slow when network is busy. See terms.
[01:00]
Tony Robbins
When you want a real lasting change, you have to change the driving force. Because we have six human needs. Certainty. Uncertainty. Because think about this. If you were certain every moment of your life, you know what they're going to say before they're going to say it. But if you knew what someone say before they're going to say it, you know what's going to happen, what's going to happen every moment of every day. In the beginning it'd be cool. But after a while, what would you feel?
[01:22]
Ryan Reynolds
Bored.
[01:22]
Tony Robbins
Out of your mind. Bored. So God in her infinite wisdom gave us uncertainty. Third need is significance. They need to feel unique. You need to feel special. The need to feel important. Who do you think has that need? All of us. Everyone? Yeah. Some people do it by earrings. Some people buy tattoos in certain areas. Some people buy their art. Some people the way they dress. Some people buy their money. Some people be more generous. Everyone finds a way, okay? Anytime you meet a belief, an emotion or a behavior meets at least three of these six needs, you will become addicted to that thought, that feeling or that behavior. It could be a positive one or a negative one, but you will become addicted to it. Fourth Need. Connection and love. Everybody wants love. Most people settle for connection because they've had love. At one point, it was so painful when it ended, they decided to settle for connection. How can you get it. You can get it by going for a run and feeling connected to God of the universe, nature. You can get it by prayer. You can get it by being with some friends. You can get it by making love. You can get it by getting a dog. There's a million ways to feel connection and love. Some are positive, some are negative. Some people get connected by their problems. They're always comparing problems. You ever seen two people comparing? But I have this. Well, you think that's bad, let me tell you mine. They're arguing over significance, and they're connecting through their problems. The secret to it, all of the final two needs. These are the spiritual needs. Not religious, but spiritual. And that is we all must grow. When you grow, you feel alive. And if you don't grow, you start to die inside. But we grow so we have something finally to give, which is where meaning comes in life. If you're missing, growing, contributing, you will not feel fulfilled. There's the science of achievement. There's the art of fulfillment. They're two different skills. If you want to extraordinary life, you need both. If you look at a great athlete, what makes a great athlete, there's that sense of not only practice, and you got it in your nervous system. You're incredible in your strategy in the sport, but there's the state you bring to the table. So I'm sure you've seen an athlete, a basketball player in the NBA about to shoot a free throw, a kicker in the NFL, and they go jogging out there. And you look at them, you go, they're going to miss it. And sure enough, they do. Everyone's had that experience. How did they know? They saw the lack of certainty in their body, right? And so when you try to get yourself to do something you've never done before, it produces that kind of uncertainty. So I always tell people, if you want a breakthrough, I think of it as three things at the most simple level to create a breakthrough. A breakthrough being maybe there's an area that you've not gotten to where you want to be, and you've promised yourself you're going to do it. And then you don't follow through, or you fall back and you're frustrated with yourself. Maybe most people have had something like that, but one day they did breakthrough. They did finally say, enough of this. And that day, that moment, they changed their relationship. They quit what they're doing. They started something new. And what I found is there's three parts to that breakthrough. And if you want to break through in any area, these are the Things you got to do. But I want to give you in reverse order real fast. Okay? So reverse order is. Most people, they want to make something happen, they focus on the strategy. Now, I'm a strategist. I get paid to be able to show someone how to save a decade. Because the right strategy in business can save you 10 years. Right. But as much as I love strategy, it's not what I start with, with people. The reason is because the natural question is, I want to achieve this, but how do I do it? There's nothing wrong with answering the question how. It's just the sequence of these that are critical. It's like if I told you this is someone's phone number and you have the right numbers and you dial the wrong order, you're not going to reach them. If you knew the vault numbers, but you put in the wrong order, the vault doesn't open. When it comes to a breakthrough, most people are focused on the strategy, the how to. And the problem is, when you go to how to do something you've never done before, it brings uncertainty. Yes. And uncertainty creates hesitancy, and hesitancy kills momentum. Hesitancy kills performance. Hesitancy kills, you know, most things that really matter in your life. So it's not a strategy problem. People think it's a strategy problem. It's not. The real problem is they have a story. So think of these three S's. The story is locking them in place. The story is, you said a belief, but when you stack a set of beliefs together, you build a story and you tell it to yourself over and over again until you believe it. So the story is, I've tried everything.
[05:27]
Ryan Reynolds
Yes.
[05:28]
Tony Robbins
And I'll say to them, really? Everything? How many things you've tried? I've tried thousands of things. Then I go, okay, name them. And they'll go, I've tried two things. Yeah, yeah. These two things that don't work, I did over and over again. Right. You know, but as long as you believe that, a belief is the feeling of certainty about what can be done or can't be done. Right. Who you are and who you're not. So when you go first for how you have uncertainty, I call it the tyranny of how. You don't want to get to the how. First, you got to deal with the story. Before that, if you change the story, you can get a strategy that works. But the order people work on is strategy. Rarely pay attention to story. But the one before that is where we need to start. It's your state. So that state of certainty, that state of passion, that state of conviction, that stage of absolute determination. Right. That state that every great athlete has, any great leader has, any great business person has. If you have that state, it will change your story and it'll change what you're able to do strategy wise. So the most important thing to do is change your state first. That's why most people fail to achieve what they want. They have not become masters in their own mental, emotional state. And you know, in our events, that's my number one piece. Because without that, you won't get lasting change, you'll get temporary change. Once I get enough state, I can change the story. That's easy. Once I change the story, if I don't give you the strategy, you'll find a strategy. You'll make it happen. You'll find the way, you'll make the way. You've lived this as an athlete and as a businessman. So I look at this and say, the problem is most people do it in reverse order. When they go in reverse order, they stop the process. They don't know how. They freak out about the uncertainty, their story doesn't support them, and now they're in a lousy state. And so they try something, Try something for a little while and never follow through. Yes. So that's the breakthrough. I do it. So it's, it is a belief system, but I want you to see it's a little more complex than that. It's the state we get. What am I supposed to do? Your state will determine it. So if you're fearful, he who states his loss, you're going to, you're going to justify. If you're more aggressive and there's something you really want, you're going to, you know, it's like, I got to make this thing happen. Right. It's a different piece. So you pick your beliefs based on your state. Unconsciously. Each stage has predictable challenges and opportunities. And the more you can know the pattern in advance, the more you can anticipate. Anticipation is power. Reaction puts you in fear. People say now to me, they'll say things like, well, they coming. And all these changes occurring, like when people lose their jobs, when there's no certainty outside world, how are people gonna have certainty? And I go, let me give you a clue. There was never any external certainty. You've had rented certainty. You've convinced yourself hypnotically that you're certain because you had a job and you had this, none of this. And you walk across the street and get hit by a bus, right? There's so much that can happen. So we hate uncertainty so much and we want it so strongly. But if we link it to our job or to an income or to a person responding the way we want to, then you're gonna live a very fearful life. If you train yourself to feel that internal certainty, which is what you did, and anticipate as much as possible, and, you know, no matter what, I'll find the way, that is a different identity. Yes. You've gone to a level of not just how to deal with things, but the identity is, I'm the guy that will find the way for my kids and for my family. Right. And that is freedom. No one escapes massive, massive stress. You either use stress or stress uses you. Yes. And the way you use stress is, you know, the whole phrase. They'd say, you know, when you're going through hell, keep going. If you keep going, three things happen. Number one, you discover how strong you really are. It's the only way you're going to find it is to push through it. And then each time you do it, by the way, you get stronger, stronger. Second, you figure out who your real friends are, not your Facebook friends, because when all hell's breaking loose, no one sticks around except real friends. And then the third thing, most important thing is it gives you, like, almost a little immunity to future stress, because it's like a vaccination of it almost. So there's great value in that process. Now, if you make it through those steps now, that internal certainty inside you just builds and builds and builds. You see the patterns you've not seen before, and it frees you.
[09:28]
Ryan Reynolds
I'm curious, from those who are at the top of their game to those who are struggling day by day, what is the number one limiting belief that most people have that keeps them from accomplishing what they want?
[09:41]
Tony Robbins
It's different depending upon what level of life you get to, but people usually bump up against, I'm not enough. But the idea that maybe I'm not enough for this level that I'm going to or the level I want to go to in my life, whether it's, they might be great in business, but they're not doing great in the relationship, or they're great in a relationship, but they're not good with their kids. They're good with the kids, but their body's not where they want to be. They got all the money, but not the body. Right. And so I think most people bump up against, I cashed out my entire 401k thinking someone stole My identity. A fake email cost me my dream home. After I sent my personal information to
[10:11]
Ryan Reynolds
a scammer, my AI agent wired thousands to an account I'd never seen.
[10:16]
Gen Digital / Brand Announcer
When billions of people feel unsafe, that's no longer a security problem. It's an economic one. At Jen, we're building the trust layer for a more fearless planet with products and technologies from our global brands, Norton, Lifelock, Avast and Moneylion. See it in action@genndigital.com the most effective
[10:35]
Ryan Reynolds
people at work aren't working harder than everyone else. They're working smarter inside better systems. Superhuman GO from the makers of Grammarly is the AI chat that works inside every tool you already use. Always ready and already aware of what you're working on. It's a teammate whose only job is to help you be better at yours. With Go working with you, you can show off what you do best. See what superhuman go can do@superhuman.com that's superhuman.com Most people don't realize how much their personal information is being bought and sold every day. Data brokers are making billions, pulling details about you from public records and the Internet and then packaging and selling it, usually without your consent. That's how your information lands in the hands of scammers, spammers, even stalkers. It's why you get endless robocalls and why ads seem to follow you everywhere. That's where Aura comes in. Aura actively removes your data from broker sites and keeps it off. They also instantly alert you if your information shows up in a breach or on the dark web. But Aura goes beyond data protection. With one app, you get a vpn, antivirus, password manager, spam call protection, dark web monitoring, and even up to $5 million in identity theft insurance. All backed by 24, 7 US based fraud support. Other companies might sell just credit monitoring or just a vpn. Aura gives you all of it together at the same price competitors charge for just one service. Start your free trial today at aura.com remove protect yourself now@aura.com remove that fear
[12:05]
Tony Robbins
that something in me is not enough. And the deeper fear is that I'm not enough. I won't be loved. And so it's an unconscious fear. So most people push it aside by focusing on what they're good at and not taking care of those other things till they bite them. The relationship, body, whatever it is, the kids. Or they come up with a story about, well, I don't need to be good at that, or that's just not my nature. And so I'm often called in to help somebody, you know, sharpen their skills. But you're right, usually there is a limiting belief of some sort. So I couldn't say there's one. But if I was saying the most dominant one, it's like, I've never done this before, so how the hell am I going to do it, right? There's uncertainty. When people ask me, like, what is the one common denominator of people that succeed on a massive scale around the world? I'd always in the beginning say, well, I love wicked intelligence, but I know a lot of very smart people that can't fight their way out of a paper bag in their relationship or their finances. You know, they're smart in one area, not another. But the one that is absolutely, completely accurate is hunger. The hunger to be more, to do more, to give more, to share more. Somebody who has a hunger that doesn't die. Not a hunger to make a certain amount of money or a hunger to achieve a swimsuit size, but a hunger that's unquenchable. Those are the people that. You know their names because they have an impact. So it's like whether it's Richard Rancid, who's in his 70s, he has the same hunger today as when he was 16 years old in that crypt in your country, coming up with virgin, right? I mean, same level. Let's give it a go, right? He's got that peace, you know, to me, that's the gift. And stoking your hunger or awaking someone's hunger that doesn't have it, that's a real gift. And that's one of the gifts I think I've tried to refine within myself and help people with. Because I believe there's three decisions you make every moment of your life. You're making them right now. If you're listening to me and so is your audience, the first one is, what are you going to focus on? You're going to be focused on what happened yesterday, what you're going to have for lunch, what I'm saying, how it relates to you. There are millions of things you can focus on, but you don't experience life. Experience the life you focus on. And most of us are distortion deletion creatures. Our brains don't take it all in consciously. It's too much. So our brains delete things, we distort things, we generalize things so we can make it through our lives. And so if you don't control your focus, you react. The minute you focus on something, your brain has to figure out what does this Mean, is this the end of the beginning? Is this person dissing me? Are they challenging me? Are they coaching me? Are they loving me? And whatever meaning you give, it produces emotion. And out of that emotion, you make the third decision. What am I going to do? Everyone gets called on the journey. Most people try to resist it, but that journey, that's what the call is. It's a call to grow. So I'm, I'm big on change your story, change your life. And I'm big on understanding the narrative of where you are in the story of your life. Because if you understand where you are, it gives context, it gives meaning, and it doesn't make you feel overwhelmed. Change is never a matter of ability. It's always a matter of strong enough reasons of motive. If you got strong enough reasons, you can do just about anything. And so I really believe that the secret to life is to find something you care about more than yourself that gives you that pull, motivation. And then you're never going to lack for energy, you're never going to lack for passion, you're never going to lack for anything. And you're going to have a life that's extremely meaningful. No life is calling you. What are you going to give? Not, not just what you want to give, but what people need. And so my focus is I give people what they want, but my goal is so I can give them what they need, which is a life that has more meaning. You know, you're going to battle with internal things within you and external things, but if you keep going, you're going to eventually slay your dragons and you come out and the hero of your own life and you have something to share. It isn't bullshit. It's not something you read somewhere. It's something you've lived, something you want and everybody can feel you've lived it because it's a different level of ownership, you know, and then by the way, as soon as you do that, it happens again. You're called on another journey, you have a new level of challenge that you need to go on. It just never ends. But it's, it makes life really, really beautiful. How can people who are always very hard on themselves learn to build up their self esteem a little bit more? I don't know if self esteem is the answer. You know, I think, I don't think it's bad to be hard on yourself as long as you also celebrate when the victories happen. But you know, so many people will tell you I have poor self esteem because when I was a kid, people Said this to me and that to me. It's convenient that you remember those things and not the positive things that also occur. Obviously, I think it's more important is to realize that self esteem is earned. It's only earned by you, with yourself. You're not going to get self esteem because everybody praises you. Somebody can tell your whole life that you're brilliant, you're a genius, you're beautiful, you're handsome and you not believe it. Someone can tell you you're a piece of crap and you're never going to become anything. And there's a part you can say, I'll show you, as many people have, and then they develop drive out of it, right? So it's really. Self esteem comes from doing incredibly difficult things where you know you pushed yourself. It's not virtue signaling, it's not telling people about it. It's what you know inside your soul is true. And the more you do things that are incredibly difficult, and especially things that are meaningful, meaning they're not just about yourself, the higher that esteem would be. I think the most important thing for self esteem is to find something you care about more than yourself. If you find something you care about more than you, you won't be thinking about yourself all the time and all your bullsh t self esteem just goes out the window. The real question is, what do you want if you want an extraordinary life? My definition, that is life on your terms. Some people it's three beautiful children, a white picket fence. Some people it's building a multi billion dollar business. Somebody else that's writing poetry instead of looking for somebody else. It's like, okay, what do you really want from your life and aligning yourself with moving forward towards what you really want, if you can do that in a way that also you feel serving others simultaneously. There's a, there's a sense of meaning in life that can't be replaced by self esteem or praise or compliments or being nice to yourself. And I don't think it's bad to be tough on yourself. I'm pretty tough on myself. I'll be honest with you. Being overly tough on yourself usually comes by making comparisons that don't make sense. You're comparing to somebody else's life that has a totally different path, a totally different experience. We all develop in different stages and different things. We all want different things. But eventually you wake up and say it's good to be strong with yourself. But beating yourself up just lowers your energy. And when your energy gets lower, you produce less and you don't have the same level of joy. You don't have the, the impact that you want to have, nor do you have the excitement that you really want to have. So I look at it as something that it's worth earning your own self esteem, but it's really not the secret. The secret is find something else you obsess about more than yourself and you'll have a level of energy that will compel you over the long term. When I began, I began with a fuel which was like, I'm gonna show them. You know, my, it was anger that drove me, you know, I'm just gonna show you type of thing. But that fuel doesn't last. And then the next fuel that people tend to use is I gotta succeed. But there's a little fear underneath that that's driving them, which is like, what if I don't versus a knowing? You know, it's like if you give your all every day, your gifts will make room for you. And it's like having a knowingness that things were are going to be fine. And then there's the next level, which is you start to know who you are and you're not trying to prove it to yourself or other people. And it's just, you just want to help. It's the difference between what I would call push motivation and pull. Right? Push is I'm going to make this, this happen. And it takes tremendous willpower. And I know you have plenty of willpower. I do as well. But there's a limit to willpower. But there's no limit to pull. Pull is when there's something magnificent that you want to serve, something that you're, you've got an obsession for to create or to do or make happen. And that doesn't it, you know, you don't lose that energy, you don't lose those components and you're able to laugh and enjoy along the way. I think it's important to realize wherever focus goes, energy flows. It's corny, but it's true, right? In fact, maybe an easier way of saying it is we don't experience life, none of us do. We experience the life we focus on. So in any moment, what's wrong is always available, so is what's right. So it's not about being positive, it's about being intelligent. You know, you gotta look at the impact of what you're believing and you gotta look at intellectual, say, you know, where's my focus going? There's, I can always be upset about something. I can always find something to be joyous or at least grateful for, which leads to joy. And I think it's learning to discipline your disappointments, you know, not allow them to grow and to move on and to use whatever life is giving you. Keep getting around things you're not used to and let something hit you and something's going to strike you, something's going to wake you up, something is going to make you feel more desired, desire more, want to give something to life as opposed to just live your life. That's why we've gotta grow. I cashed out my entire 401k thinking someone stole my identity. A fake email cost me my dream home. After I sent my personal information to
[21:15]
Ryan Reynolds
a scammer, my AI agent wired thousands to an account I'd never seen.
[21:19]
Gen Digital / Brand Announcer
When billions of people feel unsafe, that's no longer a security problem. It's an economic one. At jen, we're building the trust layer for a more fearless planet with products and technologies from our global brands, Norton, Lifelock, Avast and Money Lion. See it in action@gendigital.com.
[21:39]
Ryan Reynolds
hey, it's your ceiling vent. So I'm dripping. Could be the rain, could be the upstairs bathroom. Yikes. You could hire the guy your neighbor recommended, but I'm pretty sure that's just his cousin. Do we know if he's licensed or does he just own a ladder? Listen to your home. Go with thumbtack. Upload a photo or voice note and we'll diagnose your project and match you with the right pro for the job. Thumbtack? We know homes. Hire the right pro today.