← Motivation Daily by Motiversity
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Cards issued by JP Morgan, Chase bank and a member FDIC subject to credit approval terms apply. If you don't make it, it's on you. And that's it. There's nobody else to blame. Everything is your fault. Everything. The good stuff in your life, that's on you. You did that. It's on you. Your conscious ability to be awake and to be articulate and to. And to be clued in and to keep nature at bay and culture straight and your own malevolence under check and to combat the unknown and to transform it into something that's good. That's what you are. In my goal, when I was sitting there, not going to school, being bullied, having no self esteem, my goal was the only person that's going to turn this person around is me. The only way I can turn around is put myself through the worst things possible a human being can ever endure. And that'd be the only way that I can build this brain to handle anything that comes in front of it, callousing my mind through pain and suffering. You have an idea, it's on you and only you to go execute it. And if it fails, go do it again and go to a different idea and it's on you. If you as talented as you say you are, you as gifted as you say you are, you should be able to line up with anybody and go out there and win. So after today, it's on you. After today, ain't no more excuses. After today, ain't no more wiggle room. After today, you got to get after it. Now you got to get after it. You got to get up on your own. You got to be able to make big decisions on your own. You're gonna lose weight on your own. There are a myriad of targets you have to hit by yourself. If you want your life to turn around, it's your job to do it. If you want to pay off your bills, it's your job to do it. If you want to change where you're at in life, it is your job to change it. Your algorithm is exposing you. My algorithm is trading cards, comic books, the New York jets, sunshine, rainbows, happy people, random acts of kindness. If you're, if your feed is politicians scaring you all day, that's on you. Nobody is coming. Nobody's coming to save you. Nobody's coming to help you. Nobody's coming to give you a cheat code. Nobody's coming to show you a shortcut. You got to figure this out on your own. There are some things in life nobody's gonna show up. It's all on you. I'm talking about the you versus you obligations. And while nobody throws you a party when you abide by them, no one's going to arrest you when you break them either. It's on you. It's on you. You are this person right now. You're the person who's learned from those failures. And you can choose to be the hero of your own movie right now, but everything rises and falls on you. What would you Tomorrow want you today to do. Pretty bulletproof, but difficult, right? Very difficult to do. Because it gives you pretty much nowhere to hide. There's essentially nowhere to hide at all. And when you do make bad decisions, it's on you. No one saves us but ourselves. No. No one can and no one may, Right? You have to get active in your own rescue, as the Stoics say, as do the Buddhists. It's your responsibility. It's on you. Blow your own nose, as Epictetus says, right? No one's coming to save you. There is no magical solution. There's just hard work. It's time and patience, but most of all your own effort, focusing on the response, focusing on what's in your control, remembering that you are mortal, choosing not to rust out, but to wear out. Get to work. Get moving. You can watch videos like this all day. You can read all the books in the world, but at some point, you got to put it down. You got to get up from the computer and you got to go to work. You got to do what you know you have to do. That's how you get better. That's how you improve. If you've decided I got, well, then the game's over anyway. The fuck are we doing here? If you've decided I can't because I was unlucky. My mom this, my dad this, my country this, my gender that, my income level this. Well, then it's over. Doesn't matter what I think, you think, anyone else thinks it's over. I just refuse to talk to another human being and believe that to be true because there's been billions of examples of the alternative. One of the things I love about writing or just being. Being a creative person is that, like, it's, you know, it's on you. So it's just, you know, I. I've got an idea. I want to go do it. I've got to kind of, like, set a pathway of how I'm going to create this thing that I have a notion that I want to execute and bring it to the world. You either put yourself in a position to deserve it, to be around people that want to help, to take care of you. Luck came by, you were able to capitalize on it, because, like we talked about earlier, luck's like a bus. Another one's coming. But will you have the fare to get on? And maybe that's it. Maybe you just got really lucky, but you had the fare to get on the bus, and that's on you. So you should be very proud of the things that you have in your life. So, long story short, what I realized was no one was here to help me. And the feeling I had every morning I started shaving my head when I was 16 years old. And the feeling I had every morning I looked in the mirror was horrible. And I didn't want to feel like that anymore. And how I felt was a kid going nowhere. A kid that was scared. And most kids will accept that and look for help. But the best thing that happened to me, no one helped me. No one felt sorry for me. No one looked at me and said, like this day and age, they'll take you in and they'll tell everybody, stop picking on this person. Back then, they didn't care. I had wasted way too much time blaming Chris or thinking life was unfair and it was unfair. Or beating myself up about the stupid decisions that we had both made. Feeling shitty about myself because I couldn't get out of bed or I knew I was isolating, I was letting my health go, I was drinking too much. Like I was in that self sabotaging loop for years. And then finally it's like, okay and, and okay, you can continue to lay in bed and rot away. You can continue to beat the shit out of yourself. You can continue to tell yourself that it's too late, screwed up. You're never going to get out of debt. You're never going to figure this out. You're 41, your career is over. You know, you're going to have to get rid of this. Like you can do all that, Mel, or you can change. Like if you want to. If you want things in your life to get better, prove it. And the person you're proving it to is yourself. I. One of my self reliance is at the top of my value system. And I don't think it is contradictory to faith. I actually think that free will and fate again are here. As a believer, I believe that it's all been written at the same time. I believe God's going, I, I need your hands on the wheel, man. Hey, you're steering this, okay? Don't just rely on fate. Too many people doing that, man. I've had my agnostic years where I was not believer at all. Fully and self reliant. It's on me, everything. And I think it was such a valuable few years because I did need to call myself on some shit. I did need to say the buck stops here with you and Connie. I did need to quit becoming such a repeat offender. You know, I was sinning, which means to Miss the mark means to have bad aim. Literally, it comes from an archery term. To sin means to miss the mark. When you think about it like that, it becomes more practical, especially for us agnostics and stuff. I was missing the mark, and it was time for me. I didn't want to keep forgiving myself on Sunday and then repeat and do the same shit again Monday through Friday and then go, oh, now I can be forgiven. I was like, no, man, forgive me, Father. I know what I'm doing and I'm keep doing it. Cut the shit, McConaughey. Quit giving yourself that out that parachute. Even though you may have it, even though word says grace of God will forgive you. Yeah, I need to strong arm myself, put my damn hands on the wheel, look in the mirror and go, it's on you. Because it is. At some point in life, you just. You have to tell yourself, enough is enough. And listen to me, you deserve better. Who and what has your attention? Because where focus goes, energy flows. The problem is you put too much energy into Netflix, you put too much energy into distractions, you put too much energy into entertainment. You put too much energy into things that are not feeding your purpose and destiny. Can you walk away from everything? Imagine who you could be in 30 days. There's no shortcut, no hack. There is no other way around it. If success is what you're chasing in this life, real legacy level success, you must unapologetically be obsessed with the process. So what you have to decide is, are you gonna keep being the 99% or are you ready to be a part of the 1%? Because it doesn't make a difference where you come from. High school dropout. It doesn't make a difference where you come from. Ged. It doesn't make a difference where you come from. Sleeping in abandoned buildings, it doesn't make a difference where you come from. You know what makes a difference? What makes a difference is when you become a 99 or a 1%, it's on you. And it's on me. Who are you? Yes, who are you? Where are you going? I want you to think about that. And wherever you're going, I want you to see it in your mind's eye. Complete it. See it, see it. Where are you in your life? When you look in the mirror, do you see the person you thought you would be at this point in your life, this life that you're seeking? It's uncommon. It's different. And sometimes it's lonely. They looked at the most successful men and women of the world. And one of the things they all had in common was a roof routine. They are obsessed with their routine. They don't have a gap of wasted time. They routine. You know, I realized the reason why I'm so successful and the reason why I don't get in trouble like I used to when I was younger is because when I was younger, man, my schedule had so many gaps in it. The devil had, like, okay, he might pray at 6, but my man is watching TV. He playing video games by 8:30. It's not that I'm sweeter than nobody. The devil. The devil can't get to me because all my time is taken up. All right, let's be honest. How many of y' all get up and you just get your day started? You don't have it written down. You don't have a strategy. You don't have a real plan. You kind of just get up and say, I'm about to tackle today. Raise your hand for me. Raise your hand. We're gonna stop. No more of that. Like, you don't go to war without a plan. I need you to be strategic. I hear. Look here, I want to go to the NBA. Not like that. You just running up and down the court. Not like that. You're not going to no strategy. I want to go to the NFL. You ain't even in school. Nope, you're not going to the NFL. I want to make millions. You're not even doing what millionaires do. And those of you, you messed up. Why? Because you don't understand. Think, act, eat, rest. We talking about a schedule. I realized that my strength is in my routine. Why? Because I'm not as strong as I thought I was. I'm not as intelligent as I thought I was. I don't want it as bad as I thought I wanted it. It's in my routine. It's what I do every day, repeatedly. Discipline is found in our daily routine, our daily rituals. You may use discipline on occasion, but you're not disciplined. And there's a difference between having discipline and being disciplined. When you have discipline, you're selective. When you have discipline, you're conditional. It depends on how you feel. When you are disciplined. How you do anything is how you do everything. And everything you do, you show up at a thousand percent. The DNA of your success is in your routine. You're not as deep as you think you are. You gotta find routine. I'm getting up at three and stick with it. I'm getting up at five and stick with it. Yeah. Out of 365 days, you have a bad day or two, but I'm trying to tell you the. The strength is in the routine. Find a routine and stick with it. A wise man once said, conquer yourself. This is wrapped up in dedication. We have to get dedicated. Conquer yourself. Once you've unlocked those daily routines, those daily rituals, and that you stay committed to, the game's gonna change. The only way you're gonna get dedicated is if you eliminate all distractions. Can you disappear for just 30 days and you gotta be so dedicated that every distraction gets blocked out. You gotta learn how to turn your phone off, turn the technology off. When the speech is over, when the moment is done, you got to learn how to eliminate all distractions. Different scares people. And anytime anybody's told me I'm crazy, I've always thanked them for that because it gave me the ability to see and do things that other people can't do and acknowledge things that other people won't acknowledge. If you're obsessed with taking your business, your sport, whatever it is, to another level, stand up. You must be able to deal with pain. And the more understanding you have of what's causing you the pain and how you've dealt with it is going to determine how successful you will be in whatever you choose in life. It's on you. Your failure and your success is on you. I think the thing that people misunderstand about success is they're looking for the easiest way to get there. Look at the most successful people in the world. They're the most coachable. They have the least amount of doubt. They have the least amount of doubt. You usually have doubt because of what somebody else is going to think of you. So people that aren't going to see your vision, people didn't see Jeff Bezos vision. People don't see Elon Musk. People don't see Kobe and Jordan's vision. And that's okay. But you've got to be willing to see it in yourself. Everyone's going to hit adversity. It's how you deal with adversity. And the key word is you not letting somebody else deal with that adversity. You have to deal with that adversity and how you deal with it. Are you going to fight through it or are you going to curl up and just roll over into the corner? People talk about this all the time. Losing Bill's character. How much character do you need? Your dreams and thoughts better be so big that they better scare you. They better scare you because you're not thinking big enough that you don't want has to be something that nobody else has thought about before or done before. The process it takes to be number one and set. Stay at number one. You have no idea. Very few people understand what winning and success does to an individual's mental health. Everybody wants to sit in your seat until they have to sit in your seat. But it takes a special individual, and there's very few people that can do that. A friend of mine years ago taught me when I was coming up and I was deciding if I was going to do this, he said, abnahito kab. And I think that means if not now, then when. So whatever you want to do, do it. Stop talking about it, stop thinking about it, stop telling people what you're gonna do and just freaking do it. Get up and do it. Take one step. Don't look a thousand cars ahead. Look one. Take one step. That's all you need to do. If I have one legacy, if I create more bold people in this world, I will be happy. Because we've got too many timid hares out there. We need more bold lions. Start your business. Write that book. Do it. Just do it, please. I've tried to eliminate as much time between I think I should do this thing and beginning doing it. And I think you get this positive reinforcement cycle. I call it pulling the thread. It's like, I just need to start pulling the thread, and then all of a sudden, what feels really unknown becomes very tangible. And you're like, oh, I understand the six problems I have to solve to do this big thing, but now I know the problems, and then it feels like you can wrap your arms around it, and then you can start taking it one bite at a time. Let's say that I want to start a business. In your mind, you're like, well, I don't really have the finances, or I don't know if I'm ready. Let me pick it back up at the top of the. Going to think about it next year, January. See where I'm at. We'll reevaluate. The only thing that changed in that year's time is how you felt about it. You still have no idea the outcome of that decision. Once it's made, you make a decision, you still have to wait to find out the outcome of that decision. There's no way to predict that. And the only thing that you're delaying is your progress, your growth, by putting off the decision. Do it without commentary, do it without drama. Simply show up and do the thing Focus on the practice. Not hoping and wishing for the outcome that you need to be reassured by, but the practice. The best you can do it. Because if you. What could be better than the best you could do it? Nothing. So do that. Learn from what works and then do it again. The concept of living life is just so simple. You could take the words live your life and expand on that into a million page essay and just do it. But just getting out there and living and experiencing life and doing the things that are difficult and challenging and cause you to grow. And the person that I envy the most and I enjoy being around the most is just that, like old wise man who has all these crazy stories, who's lived all this life and it's just like happy to sit on the park bench and talk to random people about what he's done. You know, it's. If that's a person I respect, how do I become that person? It's not from doing nothing, it's from doing something. What is it today that you've been wanting, but to be honest with you, you haven't yet gotten. I will almost guarantee you the reason that your want and desire is far from being fulfilled by achieving it is because you haven't taken action. Necessary. So today, don't think about it, don't talk about it, don't wish for it. Go for it. Dive, move, start, act. What's one thing I'm doing wrong that I know I'm doing wrong that I could fix, that I would fix? It's like you meditate on that, you'll get an answer and it won't be one you want, but it'll be the necessary one. A lot of people sit back and they dream about being a sports figure or dream about being a SEAL or dream about being an astronaut. And all it is, is a motherfucking dream. They don't put the work behind the dream. That dream has become their master. When you become the master of your dream is when you say, I want to go be a Navy Seal. And you say, okay, I'm gonna lose 106 pounds in less than three months. The dream was the one thing I thought about and the dream was now gone. Now what comes in the dream goes away in the laundry list of details and tasks come up. Gotta do this, gotta do this, gotta do this, gotta do this. That's when you become the master of your dream. So a lot of people out there dreaming, when all that fear that's in your head, all the what ifs and the scenarios that you create inside your own mind that are way worse than anything that is actually gonna happen. They all disappear when you go. So just. Just take action and. And start moving forward. That is the moment that can last a million years is waiting to go. I'm pretty good at it now. Where, oh, I'm like, oh, yeah, I know what that is. And I'm going, and that's it. Make that decision. Because one thing's for sure with my life. You're one decision away from changing. Literally, you are one decision away from changing. It's a decision away. You're one decision away from changing your life. Like, what would I do if I weren't afraid? And what would I do if I knew I couldn't fail? And the idea that I will never wish for fewer epic stories at the end of my life. And I've never regretted failures. I've always regretted things that I didn't try. Most skills can be learned decently with about 20 hours of focused effort. 20 hours, like, the first 20 hours of you actually doing something, you learn the most, you're going to learn about the thing. If you just consider by percentage of learning from, like, you know, nothing to 20 hours in, you already have a really good understanding of the thing. The problem is that most people will take years to start the first hour. And so that habit that you're referencing is that my speed, at least now, as you know, I've gotten better at this stuff, is that, like, I try and detract the time from when I want to learn something or when I want to start doing something to starting it as soon as I can, because I just want to start getting through those 20 hours as fast as I can. Yes. And so that's just been a very tangible. Because it seems like this amorphous thing. But there was a study that was done. There's like, in the first 20 hours, you can learn almost any skill. Playing guitar, running an ad. Like, you will learn more in that first 20 hours than any other time. So it's like, then just get to that 20 hours and don't delay. Yes. And that's been one of the. One of the most. One of the deepest lessons I've had because it took me four years to learn how to build a website, and it took me one day to actually learn four years to delay and procrastinate and say, I'm not a tech guy. I'm not a tech person. This isn't my kind of thing. I'm a gym guy. I'm a local business owner. I should Pay somebody to do this. I'm above this kind of thing. Like, all these stories, right? And then one day I sat down on a Sunday morning, I was like, I'm gonna learn this thing. You Googled it and you took. You know, you just learned it step by step by step. And you know what? I set the whole day aside. It took me four hours. The nightmare is to reach our 60s, our 70s, our 80s, or even our deathbed, and to talk about everything we should, should have done. I should have done that. I should have invested in this. I should have made the relationship work. I shouldn't have got a divorce. We sit around and talk about all of our shoulds. We talk about all the things we wanted to do but never got it done. That. That's the nightmare. That's the nightmare that we all must avoid. There are things that you have been called to do that you have never done. And there are things that you have been called to do that no one on earth has ever done. And so if there's anything that I can give you, if there's any piece of advice, if there's any information I could pass on to you, it would be the question, what do you want? Let that sink in, because I don't think you're asking yourself this question enough. But I want to ask you, what do you want? What do you believe you were destined to do? And then you gotta spend every single solitary day for the rest of your life going after that dream. You just have to start. If you don't start, you'll never learn. Start, then learn. Don't learn, then start. Just get started and watch how the journey unfolds. And I get asked all the time, man, what should I do? Like, do anything. Just start. If you are not planning your future, somebody else is going to be planning your future for you. So if you don't know what your purpose is, sometimes you can just start doing things that will make you a better person, and those things will give you purpose. Life is what happens while we're making other plans. It's a brilliant observation. Oh, once I've got this done, once I get my degree, then life will begin. Once I've. I've just got to pass these exams and get to that thing and buy that house, and then I've just got to pay this off, and then I've got to do. And then we can start. Stop waiting for life to be easy. Stop hoping for somebody to save you. Face some hard facts and you could have an incredible life. You can just do it. Anyway, you can do it tired. You can do it with no self belief. You can do it when you don't want to. You can do it when you think it's not going to work. You can just do things, do it sad, do it lonely, do it without a role model. Because if you're waiting for somebody to come along and give you that helping hand, sometimes you're going to be waiting too long. Every morning I woke up, I had a real conversation with that dirty mirror. And every day the same answer came back to me. Do you want to be on your deathbed knowing that you could, but you didn't? A lot of people wait for perfect conditions to start, but don't realize that starting is the perfect condition. Waiting to begin never got anyone anywhere. Even if it's not your fault, it's still your responsibility. No one's coming to save you. Nobody. You are it. The life you want, you are it. You can say something's not my fault and still say, I'm gonna own it and I'm gonna work on dealing with this because it's mine to deal with. It was like the truest realization that no one is coming. It's a becoming of what your habits are. It's hey, if you really are wanting to take on this journey and become, you know, someone that is taking charge and learning about things, it comes down to your mindset. It's about what you're consuming, it's about you're doing with your mind. And if you want to make a change, it starts with what direction is my mind going? Am I getting distracted all the time by social media and stuff like that? Am I wanting to do things at a high level but not taking the steps to actually learn about that identity and values drive behavior. So if you want to make a change, you have to change your vision of who you are. You have to begin telling yourself a different narrative. And the narrative you tell yourself about yourself is everything. And if you tell yourself that you're a scared, under educated kid from Tacoma whose family has never accomplished anything, let me tell you what you will become. A scared, under educated kid from Tacoma who never accomplishes anything. Because that's what you believe. You tell yourself that story enough and it will become real. But on the flip side, you could tell yourself a story of you're a learner. You learn faster than most people. You're willing to put in more work than most people. You're willing to read more books than most people. You're willing to spend an inhuman amount of time every day improving your mind simply by getting new ideas into the system and winning. Once I switched my narrative to being the learner, it didn't matter where I started, it only mattered where I was trying to go. And as long as I had that clarity, then I could execute because I believed I could do anything I set my mind to without limitation. Everything everybody knows they learned and they are not more intelligent than you, so you can learn it too. So the more I realized this is my journey, it was you. So you better figure out who the you are on this journey. But you first have to figure out you because a lot of people die with a lot of untapped potential because you're trying to be somebody that they're not. So I was able to figure out my own potential by figuring out me. This episode is sponsored by Michael's your destination for all things Birthday parties. We just had Lucky's first birthday and it was so great to be able to go into Michael's and get everything. Of course I knew they had craft supplies there, but I didn't realize how expansive their party supplies were. And Michael's really is where you can go to get everything for a party. Whether you're planning a kid's birthday or even an adult celebration. They've got a over 4,500 party supplies, more than 60 different themes and prices starting at just 99 cents. Plus they've recently lowered prices on hundreds of items. We found adorable decorations, balloons, everything we needed to pull the party together without making a bunch of different shopping trips. Plus I always have a good time going to Michael's. I love shopping there. I could just browse the aisles forever. But if you're short on time like I always seem to be, you can also get same day delivery or buy online and pick up at the store. They even offer free helium inflation on select balloon styles which is such a lifesaver. And it was for our party truly. So if you got a birthday coming up or just a celebration, remember Michaels everything. To celebrate anything, visit Michaels in store or shop online now. Could AI help you do more of what you love? Workday is the AI platform for HR and finance that actually knows your business. We help you handle the have to dos so you can focus on the can't wait to dos. It's a new work day this summer. There are 250 reasons to join T Mobile Girls. Trip booked and switching to T mobile help make it happen with experience beyond switch and get $100 back plus $650 in value in built in plan benefits. That's $750 in your first year guaranteed. 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