Hokey Pokey (HBP Chapter 20, 'Lord Voldemort's Request')

Summary

MuggleCast Episode Summary

"Hokey Pokey" (HBP Chapter 20: 'Lord Voldemort’s Request')

Date: March 24, 2026
Hosts: Andrew, Eric, Micah, Laura
Main Theme: Deep-dive discussion and re-examination of Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince Chapter 20, focusing on Lord Voldemort’s past, the experiences of Hepzibah Smith and Hokey the house-elf, and Voldemort's failed job interview at Hogwarts.

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Episode Overview

This episode features the MuggleCast hosts as they return to Half-Blood Prince Chapter 20, "Lord Voldemort’s Request," offering fresh analysis and new perspectives years after their first discussion of the chapter. The core of the conversation explores Tom Riddle's manipulations, the wizarding world’s handling of house-elf justice (with an empathetic focus on Hokey), and the continued impact of Voldemort’s quest for power and immortality. The hosts also speculate how the upcoming Harry Potter TV series might deepen these scenes and entertain “what ifs” about Dumbledore’s choices.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

Revisiting the Chapter: Context and POV

• Hokey the House Elf's Perspective (17:29)

  • Laura centers the initial discussion around Hokey's memory of Hepzibah Smith’s murder. Hokey is manipulated into confessing to the crime, providing a rare house-elf point of view on major magical history.
  • “...Of course, since Hokie confessed, the ministry was more than happy to accept a house elf as the scapegoat for this scenario.” — Laura (18:13)
  • The wizarding world’s lack of due process for magical creatures is highlighted, paralleling the treatment of Winky in Goblet of Fire.

• Heirlooms and Hoarding: Hepzibah Smith

  • Hosts discuss Hepzibah as a figure of privilege and insecurity, hoarding magical artifacts to feel significant as an indirect descendant of Helga Hufflepuff.
  • “She is surrounded by mountains and piles of stuff and antiques and other kinds of historical trinkets of significance.” — Laura (29:04)
  • Eric draws parallels to Slughorn’s social collection, but Hepzibah focuses on objects, not people.
  • The hosts unpack the lighter but revealing “older woman charmed by a young, handsome man” trope with Tom and Hepzibah, flagging Voldemort’s tactics as manipulative elder abuse.

• Systemic House-Elf Injustice

  • The Ministry’s willingness to close the case with Hokey’s confession is compared to similar situations where Tom Riddle framed Hagrid and Morfin.
  • Discussion of whether any wizarding-world “elf rights” or legal support exists, with Laura and Eric noting the era’s limited magical creature protections (22:27).
  • The hosts wonder about Hokey’s ultimate fate post-conviction (25:26). The consensus is she likely died in disgrace, paralleling Winky’s devastation.

Wizarding Forensics and Dumbledore's Secrets

• Lack of Magical Forensics

  • The hosts question how much investigation the wizarding authorities actually perform, noting the ease with which Voldemort frames others (19:37, 21:11).
  • Micah: “It made me wonder, like, I’m curious how much other departments at the Ministry are involved when a crime like this is committed.” (21:11)

• Dumbledore's Omniscience

  • Speculation that Dumbledore might have kept tabs on Tom Riddle during his Borgen & Burkes years, possibly using magical means such as the Vanishing Cabinet—though only fan theory supports this (13:25–14:29).
  • Dumbledore’s broader knowledge and suspicions about Tom’s activities and motivations come in for debate, especially regarding his understanding of Horcruxes at this stage (44:12–46:25).

Deep Dive: Lord Voldemort’s Return to Hogwarts

• Voldemort’s Job Interview: Power Moves and Petty Curses (40:10–51:01)

  • The group analyzes Tom Riddle’s return to Hogwarts a decade after Hepzibah’s death. By this point, Riddle’s appearance is already inhuman; the toll of Horcrux creation is visible.
    • Eric reads: “It was as though his features had been burned and blurred. They were waxy and oddly distorted...the pupils were not yet the slits that Harry knew they would become.” (42:43)
  • Dumbledore’s measured refusal and sharp awareness unsettle Voldemort, who curses the Defense Against the Dark Arts position in retaliation.
    • “This is so petty. Because Voldemort doesn’t want the job.” — Laura (50:43)
    • "If I can't have it, nope." — Eric (50:58)

• Dumbledore’s Passive Aggressiveness & Teaching Approach

  • The hosts affectionately needle Dumbledore for his “I did my part—what did you bring to the table?” approach to Harry about memory collection (41:15).
    • “It was very passive aggressive.” — Andrew (41:07)
  • Andrew reflects that this re-read is reshaping his own opinion of Dumbledore.

• Should Dumbledore Have Given Tom the Job? (47:40–49:41)

  • The ethical “what if” discussion surfaces: Could Dumbledore have avoided future catastrophe by giving Tom the DADA post, keeping him close for supervision?
    • Consensus: Tom likely never really wanted to teach, just to access Hogwarts and stash the diadem. Dumbledore’s strategy is debatable, but Tom’s evil was likely inevitable.

Odds and Ends & Fun Segments

• Horcrux Watch (37:18)

  • The team lists Tom Riddle's acquisitions to this point: diary, ring, locket, cup—with a hint that his next move is to Albania for the diadem.
    • “Is he going to Albania?...Yeah, for the diadem.” — Laura & Eric (37:39–37:41)

• Red Eyes Motif

  • Both Hepzibah and Dumbledore note flashes of red in Riddle’s eyes—a visual sign of his descent (54:32).

• Dumbledore’s Hogshead Intel

  • The group notes Dumbledore’s habit of gathering intelligence at the Hogshead, also unsettling Voldemort (55:03).

Speculating on the TV Adaptation

• What Would the TV Show Do?
  • Laura suggests that the HBO TV adaptation could expand on Tom Riddle’s “missing years” with dramatic cold opens or deeper memory sequences (43:16–44:02).

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Notable Quotes & Highlights

On Hokey's Tragedy and House-Elf Rights

"The ministry was more than happy to accept a house elf as the scapegoat for this scenario."
— Laura (18:13)

"Yet again we see another case of a house elf taking the fall for the evil doings of a wizard."
— Laura (25:11)

On Dumbledore’s Leadership Style

“It was very passive aggressive.”
— Andrew (41:07)

"I think I'm going to come out of this series a new man in terms of my perspective on Dumbledore. Maybe."
— Andrew (41:15)

On Voldemort’s Curse

"This is so petty. Because Voldemort doesn't want the job."
— Laura (50:43)

“If I can’t have it, nope.”
— Eric (50:58)

On Magical Justice (or Lack Thereof)

"It is a good question, Micah, about these different departments, but this also is making me wonder, what about some sort of elf rights group, like spw, but...run by adults?"
— Andrew (22:27)

On Hepzibah Smith’s Character

"She is surrounded by mountains and piles of stuff...her possessions are her identity."
— Laura & Andrew (29:04, 30:18)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• Hokey and the Smith Murder: 17:29–28:46
• Borgen & Burkes Discussions and Dumbledore’s Knowledge: 08:56–16:29, 13:25–14:29
• Hepzibah Smith’s Psychology & Collection: 29:04–36:08
• Voldemort Job Interview & DADA Curse: 40:10–51:41
• Dumbledore's Tactics & Mentoring: 41:07–42:34
• Horcrux Progress & TV Adaptation Speculation: 37:18–38:33, 43:16–44:12
• Red Eyes Motif: 54:32–54:49
• Hogshead/Hogsmeade Intelligence: 55:03–55:14

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Odds and Ends / MVP & Listener Fun (56:10)

• Alternate Jobs for Tom Riddle:

  • Hosts and listeners joke about what Hogwarts position Tom might have thrived in with “wrong answers only,” including house-elf manager, bathroom security, chef (“too bad he can’t smell the food”), and more.

• Quizzage:

  • Trivia question: The origins of “lurgy,” as referenced by Luna Lovegood, are from The Goon Show (59:24).

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Memorable Moments

• House-Elf Solidarity: Drawing connections between Hokey and Winky’s plights.
• Elder Abuse Call-Out: Recognizing Tom’s relationship with Hepzibah as manipulative and predatory.
• TV Show Hopes: Pitching cold opens for each episode featuring Riddle’s concurrent timeline.
• Dumbledore’s Passive-Aggressive Mentorship: A running joke through the episode.

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Overall Tone

Casual, humorous, and analytical, with banter that keeps the tone light even during discussions of the Wizarding World’s darker elements. Regular callbacks to past episodes and in-jokes reinforce the friends-discussing-fantasy-books vibe.

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Conclusion

This episode offers a deep, nuanced revisit of one of Half-Blood Prince’s most pivotal chapters. Listeners get a fresh look at secondary characters’ suffering, Voldemort’s pivotal choices, the failings of the magical justice system, and the ways these threads might be spun anew in the upcoming TV adaptation. The hosts’ chemistry and combination of humor, empathy, and analysis make this a standout in the chapter-by-chapter re-read series.

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For further information, feedback, and Quizzage participation, see mugglecast.com. Next week’s episode will take a break from Chapter by Chapter to focus on the Harry Potter TV show.

Transcript

[Laura]

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[Eric]

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[Andrew]

It was very passive aggressive.

[Laura]

It really was. I'm glad that you can admit that, Andrew.

[Andrew]

Welcome to mugglecast, your weekly ride into the world of Harry Potter. I'm Andrew.

[Eric]

I'm Eric.

[Micah]

I'm Micah.

[Laura]

And I'm Laura.

[Andrew]

And we're your Harry Potter friends, here to talk about the books and the movies and the upcoming TV show. So be sure to follow us in your podcast app and you'll never miss an episode. This week, hide your valuable family heirlooms well because we're discussing chapter 20 of Half Blood Prince, Lord Voldemort's request. But before we do that, a couple of announcements.

[Laura]

Yeah, so I was actually recently on our friend Barry's podcast, a fantasy podcast. Barry is currently working his way through Goblet of Fox Fire in in his podcast and I know it's very heavily focused on Harry Potter. A lot of the time But I also know that he's looking into doing deep dives on other fantasy stories and genres and stuff. So definitely give him a follow and check the show out. It's really, really fun.

[Micah]

We actually got a chance to see Barry for the first time in a long time. Although, Laura, you saw him probably most recently, but just in our recent Slug Club hangout, and he is a new dad, officially. Congratulations on Mugglecast. We'll say it on mugglecast.

[Andrew]

So for sure, he is a new dad who lives not too far from Laura. And we were talking about that he went to see Cursed Child in the Atlanta area a couple weeks ago. And then we were like, laura, did you go?

[Laura]

You know what's funny about that? I'm actually mileage wise closer to that than Barry would be. So, yeah, that it makes me look doubly bad. Oops.

[Andrew]

Well, at this point, it's just an on running joke. I think it's turning into a joke that Laura has not seen Cursed Child, especially now since it's gone through her backyard.

[Laura]

Yeah, you know, she will.

[Micah]

Don't worry.

[Laura]

I mean, eventually I will. I just. I don't know. I've. I've. I've heard great things about the production. I just. I don't know. I don't feel like I need it. You know what I mean?

[Andrew]

It was funny during the Slug Club hangout because you were like, oh, I think it's still here. And then I looked up the dates and I just finished the day before.

[Laura]

Whoops.

[Micah]

And then Barry pops on and he's like, I just recently saw.

[Eric]

I just came back from the. Yeah.

[Andrew]

All right, well, also, a little announcement concerning the show. Beginning the first full week of April, our recording and release schedule is changing. New episodes of Mugglecast will be released on Tuesdays for patrons and Wednesdays for everyone else. Patrons. We also have some changes to the recording schedule that you'll see over on Patreon, so be sure to check those out if you like tuning in for the live streams. And maybe if our live stream recording schedule hasn't worked for you before, maybe now it will. We'll have a mix of weekend and Monday recordings, so please check that out.

[Eric]

This is exciting. And Andrew, before you get to the next segment, I hope you have that audio clip ready.

[Andrew]

Oh, yes. Yes, I do.

[Eric]

The timing on this better be perfect because I love it. I love what I'm seeing here.

[Andrew]

So, yes, listeners, if you love Muggocast as much as Hokey loves doing the Hokey Pokey, I declare canon. Then we Invite you to Support [e-mail] Mugglecast we'll hook you up with bonus episodes of the show ad free episodes, live access to our recording studio, a monthly Zoom hangout. We've been talking about a lot of these benefits at the top of the show today and lots more. We can't do this without you, so thank you so much in advance for your support. All right, now let's get to chapter by chapter. And this week we're discussing Half Blood Prince, Chapter 20, Lord Voldemort's request.

[Eric]

The episode in which we last discussed this 4.11 was called Riddle Djinn, and it debuted on April 1st. So almost exactly seven years ago. 20, 2019. Here is our pensive clip.

[Laura]

What you're looking at are memories.

[Eric]

This is the most important memory I've collected.

[Laura]

It is from Mugglekast episode 411. But what I want to know is how does this work logistically? Because presumably these girls are, like, trapped or unconscious somewhere where Draco just goes and harvests their hair for more Polyjuice.

[Micah]

Maybe it's pansy. Maybe she goes into the girl's bathroom and just kind of, like, unclogs the sink.

[Andrew]

I was gonna say just grab the comb. Yeah.

[Micah]

Or grabs her comb.

[Eric]

Yeah.

[Andrew]

Anyway, that's the girl update. We'll check in with them maybe in the chapters ahead. This memory is everything that would have been a terrible thing to say if Laura wasn't on the podcast. No, I'm like, that's the girl update. Back to the boys.

[Laura]

Yeah. Yeah. Because I was there. You get a pass.

[Micah]

It's okay.

[Laura]

Basically.

[Micah]

I do feel like we were going down the true crime pathway, though, is,

[Eric]

you know, it was interesting.

[Micah]

Interesting is one word.

[Eric]

But we had a whole discussion. Yeah.

[Laura]

I mean, it sounds like I'm the one that took us there, based on the clip.

[Eric]

Well, you even gave the girls names. The Crabbe and Goyle were Melody and Clarissa.

[Laura]

Oh, gee. I really went all out.

[Eric]

It was basically. It's basically like cereal, but for whatever Draco's doing, how he's getting this hair.

[Laura]

You know, justice for these girls. Really unfortunate that we never really hear what happens to them, but I'm glad that we apparently spent so much time on them the last time we discussed this chapter, because we're not really going to talk about that side of things very much, if at all today. The focus of today's discussion is specifically going to be on each of the memories that Harry and Dumbledore or go into. So I want to start out with Hepzibah Smith, the first memory. And I also just wanted to call out, like, just to kind of help, like, localize us. Like, where. Where are we on the timeline? According to the HP Wiki, this happened sometime between 1955 and 1961. So like 10 to 15 years after Tom Riddle left Hogwarts. Ish. So the first memory in this chapter and kind of the way that I wanted to frame the discussion is from this point of view because the memory belongs to Hokie the house elf, who we learn is convicted of accidentally killing her mistress, Hepsibus Smith at this point in time. In this memory, Tom Riddle is working at Borgen and Burks as an assistant. But we definitely get the impression that he is more gifted than a typical assistant. Definitely seems like he's able to lay on the flattery very thick with certain clients, namely Hepzibah.

[Eric]

Yeah, and the flattery is something he's perfected like his whole Hogwarts career. Right. So really only Dumbledore is capable of seeing through it. But Dumbledore tells Harry, as he introduces this memory to him, that so many people were like, shocked that Voldemort got this position in a shop. I guess it's sort of viewed as maybe like a low, relatively low role for him, uh, because he could have gone into politics or, you know, with Slughorn's backing, been connected to any career he wanted. But I remember thinking while reading this, and both for the first time and, and now, what a perfect role for Tom Riddle. We know of his affiliation with, you know, the Dark Arts. And for Borgin and Burke, this shop that sells all of these dark artifacts, it would be a dream come true to have all of this, like, you know, just thrust right in front of you, like, hey, I'm trying to sell this. Can you tell me what it's worth? And he find, oops, that's actually like a legitimate heirloom locket just shows up right under his nose. It's like, this would be a perfect role for Tom.

[Micah]

It does make you wonder, would he have been better off at Hogwarts under Dumbledore's watchful eye? And I know that's probably a discussion we're going to have throughout the course of this episode, but I really do wonder. That question versus, like you're saying, Eric almost feeding his appetite for dark artifacts and dark Arts working in a place like Borgin and Burke.

[Eric]

Yeah, yeah.

[Andrew]

I'm wondering, is it explained at all? Did Dumbledore know at the time that Tom was working at Borgen and Brooks. I guess it, it would be easy information to acquire.

[Laura]

Yeah. I think especially given how disappointed so many of the faculty reportedly were.

[Micah]

Yeah.

[Laura]

Because it really does seem like it was a shock to a lot of the faculty at Hogwarts that you know, Tom Riddle would decide to just be, you know, some lowly shop assistant.

[Andrew]

Yeah.

[Laura]

Little did they know what he was actually up to.

[Andrew]

Right. In a way he's kind of working in retail. That's why this is sort of so shocking for somebody like Tom. The reason I ask about Dumbledore is because I wonder if knowing he did work at Borgin and Burks he was trying to keep some sort of close eye on him. He would want to keep an eye on him from a distance if he's not going to be at Hogwarts.

[Laura]

Yeah, I think that's a really great call out because Dumbledore, I mean we've seen that he's been suspicious of Tom, I mean since he was a child, honestly. So it does stand to reason that Dumbledore, even if we don't see it on the page, it stands to reason that Dumbledore might have his finger on the pulse somehow of what certain former students are up to.

[Eric]

And yet to the question about would Voldemort have been better off at Hogwarts? Like if Dibbett had told him that he could just go there. I'm not sure though because more based on what happens during the second memory I think Tom would have had more access to that so called ancient magic that like apparently he's trying to get at that Hogwarts has. So I think the more time spent at Hogwarts if the seven years didn't do it during which he found the Chamber of Secrets, killed a girl and got up to all sorts of other mischief with like a spate of really strange. Dumbledore said, I think like occurrences that always had a scapegoat but like we don't know what was really happening. It's good that Voldemort had to leave school and could never really come back for any period of time.

[Micah]

It is important though to note that this wasn't Dumbledore's call though, it was Dippit's call. We know that Dumbledore definitely heavily influenced that decision making but who knows if he wasn't as aggressive in campaigning against Tom, Tom could have ended up working there because there's no reason to think that Dip, it didn't think highly of him.

[Eric]

Right.

[Laura]

Yeah. Becky in the Discord is bringing up something interesting and I Want to check on this with y'? All. She's saying Dumbledore has been taking trips through the Vanishing Cabinet and spying.

[Andrew]

That would be pretty awesome if that were true.

[Laura]

Was. Okay. Do we know for certain how long the Vanishing Cabinet has been at Hogwarts? Because, like, if it was at Hogwarts and functional during this period of time and its sister was also at Borgin and Bergson functional, could Dumbledore have been looking in that way?

[Eric]

Man, I love that theory. And maybe I do love that, because it wasn't broken until Fred and George shoved Montague in there a little too hard. So, yeah, I actually really like that.

[Andrew]

Arthur Weasley does mention, In Order of the Phoenix, that during the first Wizarding War, numerous witches and wizards used vanishing cabinets to anonymously disappear. That's, like, the furthest back. But I. I seem to recall getting the impression that that cabinet has been there for a really long time at Hogwarts.

[Laura]

So, security nightmare, Honestly, like, direct door from Borgin and Burke's in Knockturn Alley into Hogwarts, please.

[Andrew]

It's starting to sound like a security nightmare. Security nightmare.

[Eric]

I mean, I wonder if Voldemort ever discovered it. Probably not.

[Laura]

Yeah, you would think not, because he

[Eric]

would have used it before. But maybe he also told Draco about it. Like, hey, I used to work at Borgen and Burke. You should go in there and see if there's this cabinet there. And Draco's like, oh, all right.

[Laura]

I do love that, because do we ever get an explanation as to how? Well, I guess Draco kind of figures it out because of what happens to Montague.

[Eric]

Yeah, he overheard it. And Montague is in his house. So he interviews Montague.

[Laura]

Yeah. Okay.

[Eric]

Still, it puts Voldemort at a strange proximity to the means by which Draco is able to accomplish his mission in this book.

[Andrew]

That's what I love about this idea.

[Laura]

Yeah. I just have to think that if Voldemort knew about it, like, I don't know, why would he have been trying so hard to get a job at Hogwarts? Like, he. He could have had an easy, like, back door in.

[Micah]

Yeah.

[Laura]

The entire time to, like, go hunt around for high school memorabilia because he can't get over that time in his life.

[Andrew]

Well, maybe he would want the pride of actually being invited to teach at Hogwarts. Maybe getting that.

[Laura]

He does have an ego.

[Eric]

Yeah.

[Laura]

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[Laura]

Continuing to center our discussion around like Hokie's point of view, just because we don't often get things expressed from a house elf point of view. And I think it's just an interesting way to look at it. So Hokie of course witnesses Tom Riddle's visit and his interaction with her mistress where he's really again laying the flattery on super thick and she shows him a couple of her most prized trinkets, Slytherin's locket and Hufflepuff's cup. And a couple of days after that interaction, Hepzibah Smith is dead and Hokie confesses to accidentally mixing a quote, little known poison into Hepzibah's evening cocoa instead of sugar. And of course, since Hokie confessed, the ministry was more than happy to accept a house elf as the scapegoat for this scenario. And nobody even thought to ask why on earth would this old woman and her house elf have this little known poison? Why would they have that?

[Eric]

Maybe she was watching Breaking Bad and was interested cause it was Ryzen, uh, you know, like just growing in a plant nearby and she's like oops.

[Andrew]

So but are we to believe that Hokie did accidentally put something in Hepzibah's drink? Or did Tom Riddle mess with her Mind about that.

[Eric]

Yeah. Tom Riddle, like Tom Riddle probably supplied the poison, but just like put it in the house and then.

[Laura]

Yeah, yeah.

[Andrew]

Because what if, you know, maybe she would have a poison, a potion that she would add into her drink that had some sort of medicinal properties, maybe some sort of sickness medication and she accidentally, she's like, oh my gosh, I must have. Yeah, I. As I say this, I realize you

[Micah]

ask a good question though, Andrew, because you would think that if in fact poison is at the center here, that they would have at least confirmed that that is how she died. We don't. I mean, maybe we shouldn't believe that the Ministry isn't that incompetent at the end of the day. But you know, just because Hokie is admitting to putting poison into Hepzibah's drink doesn't necessarily mean that's the means in which she died. That's just how Hokie happens to be recounting the story. But that would assume that the Ministry is doing a full investigation here and making sure that things add up.

[Eric]

Well, and it's interesting.

[Laura]

And they're not.

[Eric]

Yeah, no. And it is said in a previous chapter that the Ministry, when inspecting the deaths of the riddles, they immediately know that they've been AK'd. Whereas maybe Voldemort really did poison Hephzibah to kill her and not.

[Micah]

I think he did.

[Laura]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think it's either he did it and he just planted a false memory, or he imperious Hokie and made her do it. So maybe in that he doesn't have to tinker with her memory at all. I know Dumbledore says he does. I think he calls out a little later that, you know, much like Morfin Voldemort had planted a false memory. But honestly, I think it could go either way.

[Eric]

Right.

[Micah]

And Mev brings up a good question in the discord that relates to something I wanted to mention. She asks, I wonder if they have forensics in the wizarding world. And that made me wonder, like, I'm curious how much other departments at the Ministry are involved when a crime like this is committed. Because two departments that came to mind for me would have been the Department of Magical Accidents and Catastrophes which would deal with memory, and the Department for the Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures which would deal with house elves. As opposed to what you were saying earlier, Laura, Hokie is just the convenient scapegoat, which really is kind of Tom Riddle's mo.

[Eric]

Yeah, right. It's an interesting pattern. He always blames Somebody that's, like, right there and not well liked. Hagrid got blamed successfully for opening the chamber without real proof. And Morphin, of course, like Voldemort, needed to start manufacturing proof, whether it's a false memory or the, like, hokey remembering that she put the poison in or confessing to it. But his MO Is exactly the same in all three cases.

[Andrew]

It is a good question, Micah, about these different departments, but this also is making me wonder, what about some sort of elf rights group like spw, but let's say run by adults? With all due respect to Hermione, I would assume there are some sort of magical creature rights groups in the wizarding world who feel passionately about magical creatures and house elves. Think of just like an animal rights group in the Muggle world who would stand up for animals when their habits and whatnot are being threatened. Seahoppers, the new Pixar movie. It's really good.

[Eric]

Yeah. Or like lawyers that would give free representation on behalf of a magical creature that is falsely acc.

[Laura]

Yeah, yeah. I mean, I think I would also just call out again, like, the time period we're looking at because it's, you know, allegedly 1955 to 1961. And we weren't doing so hot with that stuff in the Muggle world at that point. So I have to imagine they weren't in the wizarding world. In fact, I doubt.

[Eric]

Well, then again, Laura, they had a black female president of macusa in the 1920s. The Wizards are way ahead of us generation. Yeah.

[Andrew]

Another reason why wizards are amazing and we wish to be them.

[Laura]

Yeah. It's just. It's a little inconvenient that the diversity element kind of goes backwards in the wizarding world because it is incredibly diverse. When you're looking at representations from the twenties and then, like, the more modern you get.

[Micah]

Well, I think there's a reason for that. Isn't it because the Fantastic Beasts series

[Eric]

were made, Made a lot closer after the modern era.

[Laura]

Yeah.

[Micah]

The Harry Potter series was written.

[Laura]

That's what I mean.

[Micah]

Yeah, yeah, there was. There was. Yeah, there was a need to diversify.

[Eric]

Yeah.

[Laura]

Oh, a hundred percent. But at any rate, yeah, to your

[Eric]

point, Laura, I think in the 50s or 60s, whenever this happened, it would be like, you know, all the pure blood families gasped and clutched their pearls and were like, well, I hope my house self would never make that mistake, you know, kind of a thing. And everyone else just kind of went about their days.

[Micah]

And in fairness, I don't even know that those two departments that I mentioned were around or fully functional at the time that this happened, so.

[Laura]

Right, yeah, exactly. I think too there's a good sort of connecting the threads moment here between Hokie and Winky. You know, obviously Winky gets, you know, whatever justice it is that exists for house elves in this world at the time that she is so maligned. But yet again we see another case of a house elf taking the fall for the evil doings of a wizard.

[Eric]

Yep.

[Laura]

And it's all tied to Voldemort. Yeah, that's true. Yeah. Poor Hokie. Speaking of Hokey and I'm glad that we're having the discussion about how self welfare and rights, what do we think happened to her? I don't think we specifically find out what punishment she may have received aftermath.

[Andrew]

Yeah, yeah, well, I'm sure what I. Yeah, I'm sure she was absolutely devastated by her alleged action. So it's just depressing to think about that she ended up living out her final years because we do hear that she died. I don't know how many years later, but we did hear that she died.

[Eric]

It's really weird, Andrew. You know, Dumbledore shows up and started, keeps interviewing these people that, that are like weeks away from death, very lucky. They turn up dead right after Dumbledore speaks to them. It's a weird coincidence. It's happened twice now.

[Micah]

I wonder if it's the release of the truth finally kills them.

[Andrew]

It sets them free and that's why you keep your real feelings in, ladies and gentlemen.

[Micah]

Presumably though, with Hokie this was traumatic. Just think about how Winky reacts when she's convicted of all of the things that, you know, a goblet of fire and just the way that she behaves being separated from the Crouch family. So I think it has to be devastating for a house elf. And presumably Hokie served that family for a long time, which makes me even angrier that the crime wasn't investigated further. This, this house elf has been taking care of Hepzibo Smith for who knows how long and just so happens to poison her one night by accident.

[Andrew]

Yeah, that's a great point too.

[Eric]

To be fair though, I think too that like if you're an accomplished witcher wizard, you probably have quite a few pot ingredients at your home. Maybe a few antidotes, maybe a few poisons. Not because you're going to have the poisons or even administer the poisons, but poisons as like maybe you solved one or it's like your science experiments, you know, chemicals, I guess, harmful chemicals people have under their Sinks, you know, are the kinds of things I think about when I hear about what happened with Hokie and Hepzibah.

[Andrew]

Yeah. What if it was an expired potion?

[Eric]

Exactly.

[Andrew]

Killed her.

[Eric]

Now you have kind of like where I tend to think of it as being from. But the way that Dumbledore is telling it to Harry, it does look like it was a rare poison that had no business being there. That should have raised more red flags than it did. But I'm wondering if we're just getting sort of an oversimplification from Dumbledore for the point of telling Harry the story.

[Micah]

It is kind of messed up that we don't learn what happens to her. I know she's, I think, charged with manslaughter or that's that. But they also recognize the fact that she didn't do this intentionally, that it was an accident. So I wonder if she even ended up going to. Would she go to Azkaban or. Or if she's not officially charged, maybe

[Eric]

like a house elf's prison, like. Or she's just wandering the earth black situation where they. You're just in like a prison for a little bit.

[Micah]

Where did Dumbledore track her down?

[Laura]

Yeah, yeah. I mean, it does say she was convicted of accidentally killing her mistress. And at one point Dumbledore notes, you know, she was old, you know, and so I think they. They chalk a lot of it up to her being an old house elf. But let's talk a little bit about Hepzibah too, because I think we have to spend some time with her. So we find out in this dream that. Or in this dream, in this memory that Hepzibah is an indirect descendant of Helga Hufflepuff. I think it's really important to point out indirect here. And she's an easy target for someone like Tom. She's definitely Slughorn Light in that she collects things, not people, but she is just. She's Forgive use of the term. But it. It makes me think of like, hoarding. She is surrounded by mountains and piles of stuff and antiques and other kinds of historical trinkets of significance. And her collection is so vast and she apparently has so many different places that she squirrels things away. All the things that she cares about the most that she really wants to hide. She has so many places where she does that that it takes her family some time after she's died to realize that the locket and the cup are missing.

[Andrew]

Yeah, you don't have to apologize for calling her a hoarder. I was going to use the same word. She's a material girl. Her possessions are her identity. It seems to me this doesn't seem like a particularly admirable person. Like she just assigns all this value in her life to what she's collecting.

[Laura]

Do we.

[Eric]

Can we soften the word hoarder for like and make it like magpie or something? Like, didn't. Don't you all have that kooky aunt who collects like little statues of carolers and like, has a hoarder too?

[Laura]

Yeah.

[Micah]

I hope she doesn't listen to the podcast.

[Eric]

Yeah, yeah.

[Laura]

And where I think you're going with that, Eric, is I, I kind of feel a little bad for Hepzibah.

[Eric]

Yeah, there is a moment she's pitiable. I'm just rushing to her defense because. Fellow Hufflepuff connection. But no, it's not even her defense. There are actually some really stark, unflattering character traits that are very Hufflepuff coded, which solidifies the whole bloodline thing. Because if I'm thinking about what, how to turn Hufflepuff's traits in like, downward into like, negativity, you find that level of like from possessiveness, I don't know. From that clickiness. Their friendship and connections that Harry faces the brunt side of in year two can transform to be like extreme possessiveness or gluttony. You know, it's like Helga Hufflepuff's enduring artifact is a cup. She loved her drink, she loved to have fun and have revelry and all this stuff. But then, you know, those traits passed along families can morph into some of the negative traits we see within. Within Hephzibah.

[Laura]

Yeah, and I, I really wanted to call out, and I think what you're saying alludes to this too, Eric. Just kind of the level of pomp and self importance she applies to herself because of her indirect descendant status from Hufflepuff, she's really taken it upon herself to be a collector of all kinds of things. It's clear in this memory that this is not Tom's first visit to see her.

[Eric]

Right.

[Laura]

She, she hoards a lot of valuable things and she often, you know, makes sales or trades things with Borgin and Burks.

[Eric]

I think she's just old money though. She has nothing else to do. She has all this money and it's probably generational wealth. It's probably inherited wealth from like being a descendant of one of the most well known witches of all time too. So I see her as not being an outlier in terms of wealth for her family. It's just some people, that's what they do with it. They collect stuff. Stuff they don't need. Even stuff that would, like, interest them. That they pride themselves on being their special little collector item.

[Andrew]

Well, to that point, Laura, you said it's important we call out. She's an indirect descendant of Helga. Are you saying that because. Why does she even have this cup?

[Laura]

It's. It's not even that. It's more so. It reminds me a lot of Slughorn insofar as, like, wanting to feel important or, like, position herself as some kind of central figure.

[Andrew]

Yeah. Why does she need this thing?

[Laura]

Yeah.

[Eric]

Well, how's she getting it?

[Laura]

Well, and it's like. I mean, hey, she has the. She has Slytherin's locket too. She has lots of stuff that isn't technically, like, family heirlooms of hers, but I think it's more so. I mean, if I. If I was gonna, like, put on my, like, therapy hat and, like, try to try to psychoanalyze her, this feels like a deeply sad and insecure person who doesn't really have real connections to other people. And so through the collection of all these artifacts, she's making herself important.

[Micah]

Yeah.

[Laura]

And she feels like if. Yeah, if people will come and call on her for this.

[Eric]

Yes. Yeah.

[Laura]

Well.

[Eric]

And that's it. Her social appointment book is wide open for Tom to come in and be like, oh, oh, I'll. I'll charm this old lady into giving me some of her stuff. Like, it's. It's. Unfortunately, she is very vulnerable and probably very insecure. Harry comes in, putting aside all, like, the fat phobic, like, language around Hepzibah, you know, she is still described as, like, adding unnecessary rouge and, like, just, you know, powdering up and trying to make herself more presentable than perhaps she is to, like, meet with this handsome young man from the shop that's come to look at her. And it's just sad. I feel nothing but pity for. For Hepzibah. Really?

[Micah]

Yeah, she's definitely.

[Laura]

Oh, go ahead.

[Micah]

Old money though, right? She has a house elf, so.

[Andrew]

Yeah, but that's the thing.

[Eric]

She's. She's directly descended enough to have Hufflepuff's cup, which that would only go to, like, I don't know, your direct daughter. Like, unless at some point a first cousin stole it from, like, the direct line. Like, I don't know how Hepzibah ends up with that.

[Micah]

And not to analyze too much, but she has a very common last name.

[Laura]

Well, yeah.

[Micah]

And that's not to say that people with common last names can't be wealthy, but in the context of the wizarding world, that does seem a little bit strange.

[Andrew]

No offense to any Smiths who are listening right now.

[Micah]

Zacharias.

[Laura]

Yeah, I was wondering.

[Eric]

I think that's what we're meant to assume. Cause that's the only other Smith in Harry Potter that I can recall.

[Micah]

In terms of Tom, though, he definitely does know the right buttons to push with Hepzibah. And this is yet again, another situation, much like Slughorn, where he's able to charm her. And I wanted to ask, do we make anything of the young attractive man charming the older, wealthy woman trope?

[Andrew]

Oh, a hundred percent cougar situation or what?

[Micah]

I don't think there's anything romantic here.

[Andrew]

Not from Tom's side at least.

[Micah]

No, definitely not. I don't even think from Hepzibah's side. But his charm is definitely being used. Yeah, to the max.

[Andrew]

He brings over flowers, doesn't he?

[Laura]

Yes, and she likes the attention, right? Like she. She's also getting something from it. But also she doesn't know what his ulterior motive is. So I would say this is elder abuse. What's happening?

[Eric]

Oh, very much so.

[Andrew]

She's giving Cat lady, like Hokie is her cat, and she just sits alone by herself all day with Hokie. And yeah, she gets excited when a strapping young man comes over and expresses an interest in her.

[Laura]

Before we move on to the next memory, I just want to do a quick, like, check in. Let's do Horcrux watch. So far, during his rise to power, Tom has the diary, he got the ring from Morfin. Now he has the locket and the cup. Next on the list. Is he going to Albania?

[Eric]

Yeah, for the diadem.

[Laura]

Is that what's next?

[Andrew]

A trip to Albania? Round trip, you and a friend will fly? Yeah, that makes sense, Laura.

[Eric]

It's interesting though, because presumably Albania has been on his radar for a long time. Because he found that out from the Gray Lady. Yeah, and that was while he was still at Hogwarts. So he's waited a good long time to act on that, I would say. What surprises me the most is that Voldemort now knows who swindles his mom out of his family's locket. And somehow Borgin and Berk are both allowed to live.

[Laura]

Yeah. Ooh, that is an interesting point. Maybe we can pick that up after.

[Eric]

Yeah, it might have been too conspicuous if he killed them then. But he lets both of them live.

[Laura]

No. That is very curious. Okay, we're gonna have to kind of keep an eye on that. But for now, we need to take a quick break before we hop into our next memory.

[Eric]

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[Andrew]

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[Micah]

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[Laura]

So good, so good, so good. Spring styles are at Nordstrom Rack stores now and they're up to 60% off. Stock up and save on Rag and Bone, Madewell, Vince, All Saints, and more of your favorites.

[Eric]

How did I not know Rack has Adidas?

[Laura]

Why do we rack for the hottest deal? Just so many good brands. Join the NordicLub to unlock exclusive discounts. Shop new arrivals first and more. Plus, buy online and pick up at your favorite Rack store for free. Great brands, great prices. That's why you rack. And now we're going to talk about the second memory. AKA Voldemort tries and fails to get the Defense against the Dark Arts post again. And the second memory in this chapter belongs to Mr. Big Brain himself. Dumbledore.

[Eric]

Mr. Superior Brain Power.

[Laura]

Yes, exactly.

[Andrew]

I do love when Harry says, whose memory is it? And he says, mine. I think that comes through in the movie as well. Yeah, I don't know. Something about it is. Is epic. Like we've seen memories from other people's brains, but now it's time for Dumbledore's himself.

[Eric]

Here's the thing. There haven't been memories from other people's brains that are like, deficient in any way.

[Micah]

The Mrs. Cole memory was his earlier on in the book. Yeah. Also this is after he chastised Harry for a couple of pages for not getting Slughorn's memory.

[Andrew]

And that rubbed me the wrong way, by the way. But I don't mean to.

[Micah]

Bro, do it yourself.

[Laura]

Yeah, no, I'm glad that you brought that up, Micah, because he does spend a good long time kind of being like, huh, well, you know, I did my part, Harry. I'm prepared. Harry, what did you bring to the table? Nothing.

[Andrew]

It was very passive aggressive.

[Laura]

It really was. I'm glad that you can admit that, Andrew.

[Micah]

It was.

[Andrew]

Yeah.

[Laura]

That's gross.

[Andrew]

I'm admitting many flaws concerning Dumbledore in this chapter by chapter reread. I think I'm going to come out of this series a new man in terms of my perspective on Dumbledore. Maybe.

[Laura]

So this memory takes place around 10 years after the last memory we visited with Hepzibah Smith. And during that time after Hepzibah's murder, Tom Riddle randomly just disappears and peaces out for like a decade. Nobody really knows where he goes or what happens to him. Of course we know he's over in Eastern Europe and he has materialized in this memory because he wants to give it another shot at getting the Defense against the Dark Arts position at Hogwarts. So he comes to meet with Dumbledore. He requests a meeting to try and sit down and convince Dumbledore to give him the position. And clearly from the description of his physical attributes, all of that Horcruxon has started affecting those once handsome features. Eric, do you want to read this description?

[Eric]

Yeah, but my first thought, Laura, as you were saying, that was not the once handsome features. Oh no, but it's true.

[Laura]

What else did he have?

[Eric]

It was as though his features had been burned and blurred. They were waxy and oddly distorted. And the whites of the eyes now had a permanently bloody look, though the pupils were not yet the slits that Harry knew they would become. He was wearing a long black cloak and his face was as pale as the snow glistening on his shoulders.

[Laura]

Can we call for a max that here?

[Eric]

Yes.

[Laura]

Like, seriously, I need this and I. I don't want it to be a freaking montage.

[Micah]

So it can't be something like Tom Takes Albania.

[Laura]

Yeah, I don't want a montage of all of these memories. I want to actually see them play out. And I think really getting to see some of what Voldemort was up to during the years that he disappeared instead of just relying on Dumbledore to give us that secondhand narration. I think it could be really cool in the TV show if, particularly during the sixth season, if each episode started out with like a cold open of like, what is Tom Riddle doing concurrently on the timeline that will come into play in this episode I think would be really cool.

[Andrew]

And I think that is a somewhat common storytelling method to kind of have those little scenes scattered throughout the course of the season to build to something totally.

[Micah]

Well, given the appearance of Voldemort, I wonder, does Dumbledore suspect Horcruxes as early as this meeting with him or does

[Eric]

he suspect Madame Tussauds?

[Andrew]

I think he's expecting that Tom is at least doing something deeply disturbing. Maybe not Horcruxes especially, but, Eric, you actually had a quote later on. I'll just read it now. Certainly, said Voldemort, and his eyes seemed to burn red. I have experimented. I have pushed the boundaries of magic further perhaps than they have ever been pushed. Of some kinds of magic, Dumbledore corrected him quietly of some. Of others, you remain, forgive me, woefully ignorant. For the first time, Voldemort smiled. It was a taut leer, an evil thing, more threatening than a look of rage. The old argument, he said softly. But nothing I have seen in the world has supported your famous pronouncements that love is more powerful than my kind of magic. So he knows something is awry and it's bad.

[Eric]

He's been practicing Anti Love face cream and it's turned his face to white wax or something.

[Laura]

Yeah, well, he also knows Dumbledore also knows what Voldemort has started calling himself. They have that moment where Voldemort's like, I'm not called that anymore. And Dumbledore's like, yeah, I know what you're called, okay? And, like, also, I know you got your little Death Eater friends over in Hogsmeade waiting for you to come and divulge what we talked about. So I got your number, basically. So Dumbledore in general, he knows what Voldemort's up to. I just don't know that he could specifically pinpoint Horcruxes at this point.

[Andrew]

Yeah, I agree on that. And like, I mean, how much did Dumbledore know about Horcruxes? Like, when did he start gathering this information himself as well? Because we see, you know, Hermione's trying to do her own research on Horcruxes and she's having a very hard time finding anything about them. So that just makes me think information has been very hard to come by for a long time.

[Eric]

Yeah, I think at a certain point. Slughorn says that Dumbledore is particularly like controlling of the subject and where it gets taught. I think, you know, Hermione's only resource is the library. The Restricted section and non restricted section. So all Dumbledore really had to do in an afternoon was go down there, find all the books that mentioned a Horcrux and take them away. And Hermione would be like, I got nothing except this one mention in this one book. And that would be all she could do. But we know he has these books because she gets them eventually through questionable means in, I guess, the end of this book, the end of this school year anyway, beginning of next. So I don't know. It's for. For me, Dumbledore definitely had some inkling and definitely had some inkling by now. And at the very least, maybe even considered using Horcruxes himself or something. Because, like, the way that he. The way that he hoards the knowledge about it and is like, only I can know about this and, like, the only person we ever hear talking about them besides Dumbledore's Slughorn. Like, it's. It's weird.

[Laura]

Yeah. I mean, that. That gets more into the conversation, I think, of Hallows versus Versus Horcruxes too. Which we'll. We'll get into in the next.

[Eric]

We'll have plenty of time for that later.

[Laura]

Do we think. I know we touched on this a little bit earlier, but once and for all, do we think that there was an argument for giving Voldemort the job so Dumbledore could keep his eye on him? Because, like, it wouldn't be the first time Dumbledore gave someone questionable a job at Hogwarts so that he could keep his eye on them. Like, I don't know.

[Eric]

Well, as Dumbledore demonstrates in this chapter, he doesn't need Tom to be at Hogwarts to keep a good eye on him. Yeah, he's. Now. Yeah.

[Andrew]

Yeah. I think it's. It's tough for me. I am on the fence about it because having him so close by would absolutely be helpful. No doubt about that. I think the benefit could have been Dumbledore. Could have stopped him from going full Voldemort. Maybe. Maybe. And I was actually looking at some fanfics online in which Tom Riddle turns out decent. Still crazy, but not evil. Yeah. Not because, like, Dumbledore saved him or anything, but it's just kind of like this.

[Micah]

No, he wouldn't. No.

[Laura]

Is it. Sorry, is it. Is it like the if Hitler had gotten into art school argument that people are trying to make with those fan fictions?

[Andrew]

I didn't read them, so I can't tell you.

[Micah]

But I just. In this particular visit, I don't think it's really Voldemort's intent to get the Defense against the Dark Arts position. I think he knows coming in that that's not going to happen. The real reason is to hide the diadem in the Room of Requirement and maybe do a little bit of recruiting while he's there at Hogwarts. I also Just don't see him teaching. I don't really think that he really wants this job the way maybe he once did when he was at school. And also in being at Dumbledore's office. Maybe he's looking for Gryffindor Horcrux. He's created a Slytherin, Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw 1 at this point. I don't know if he's got his, you know, Horcrux radar up as he's peering around Dumbledore's office.

[Laura]

Yeah. Especially with Dumbledore being a Gryffindor. Right. So he's probably wondering, like, what do you have? Yeah, for sure.

[Eric]

Well, presumably he has the diadem with him right now, too. The only thing.

[Micah]

Yeah, exactly. I mean, he's gonna hide it, right? Like, while he's.

[Eric]

Yeah. In the Room of Requirement, which we don't know exactly when Voldemort found out about the rumor requirement. But that's another interesting thread because of Dumbledore, eventually is the one that hints to Harry that he knows about it. And, like, if Voldemort knew about the rumor requirement, why aren't more people dead from when Voldemort was at school here? Like, he would have used that room for awful stuff. It's a big question.

[Laura]

Yeah, no, it really is. And there's a lot of room for exposition there if they wanted to with the TV show.

[Micah]

Maybe it's just as simple as it shows itself to him, to hide it. Like, maybe he's looking for a place to hide it.

[Eric]

Yeah, I think that's right, actually, he never suspects that it's anything more than the storage version than just a room. Okay, I take back what I said earlier.

[Laura]

It's a good call. Well, I want to bring us to a close with the discussion just by talking about the moment that Voldemort curses the Defense against the Dark Arts post. This is so petty. Because Voldemort doesn't want the job.

[Eric]

I can't have it. Nope.

[Laura]

Yeah, it's basically because Dumbledore's like, yeah, like, you didn't come here expecting me to give you the job. I know that. But Voldemort's still kind of ticked about it. And Harry almost reflexively shouts out for Dumbledore to move because he sees Voldemort's wand hand, like, twitch. But I think we're meant to believe that's the moment when he places the curse on the role. And then after this, they never have a Dada teacher for longer than a year.

[Andrew]

Yeah, and it's crazy that anyone would want to take this role knowing in time that there is a curse. But that's a rant for another day.

[Micah]

Yeah, I was going to say the same thing in terms of we can talk about this at another time, but just the fact that nobody seems to notice that this post turns over every single year and that nothing is done. Like, why don't the faculty or the governors of the school or the ministry come in and break the curse?

[Andrew]

Everybody's incompetent. It's not just Dumbledore. Everybody's weird.

[Micah]

I don't know that Dumbledore's incompetent.

[Eric]

Here's the thing, like when Harry gets to Hogwarts, it's already been a dozen or so years since the position was first cursed. And Harry learns. Somebody even says, you know, rumors are that the position is cursed or whatever, but like the way the cl, I think it's clever, the different way in which each of the Dada teachers each year end up no longer having the position more than a year. So it's different enough, the circumstances are different enough just to be like, there's some plausible deniability over whether or not it's cursed. But like, I. I can't think of 13 more ways somebody could have left that position.

[Micah]

Like Dumbledore. Why can you not hold somebody in that post for more than a year? At some point that becomes a poor reflection on him.

[Eric]

Well, maybe the first five or ten years he was like, I want to get as many different voices in the room as possible because it's really cool.

[Andrew]

I care about the students.

[Eric]

Yeah.

[Laura]

Yeah. Well, thanks for joining me for some deep analysis of those memories. I'm going to be really interested to see what feedback we get for this episode compared to apparently what we covered last time, which was just turning this chapter into a true crime deep dive analysis.

[Eric]

It was really interesting, though. It was really interesting. My hope, just in case we don't say this enough, my hope in, you know, showcasing a clip from the early episodes as we go through Half Blood Prince is to get people excited about maybe even going back and listening or doing both episodes. I mean, they're all transcribed too, so you can read them instead. Like, we talk about some good stuff.

[Laura]

Yeah. And you can tell, like, give us feedback about how, how wrong we were back then and how wrong we are now. And it'll be great. We're going to move into quickly, some odds and ends, just some fast fire items from the chapter that we want to mention. Who put this first one I did.

[Micah]

We talked a little bit about this earlier with Crab and Goyle, but Harry, Ron and Hermione bump into one of them. I'm not sure which one of them it is. Maybe we find out a little bit later on, but we keep having these run ins with these young Slytherin girls who are showing up at very opportunistic times. So definitely something for us to keep an eye on. And then also Hermione is starting to pick up on Harry's feelings for Ginny.

[Laura]

Very perceptive that one. I want to call out. We didn't really get to talk about this in the chapter, but it happens in both memories. Both Hepzibah and Dumbledore briefly see glints of red in Tom's eyes.

[Micah]

And then finally Dumbledore is getting his intel from the Hogshead. This isn't the first time we've heard of him getting information from there, so I think it's just important again for us to keep an eye on this. How is he getting that information?

[Eric]

How many times does he straight up mention too? He's like, oh, I'm friends with the local barman. He keeps, he keeps mentioning it.

[Andrew]

It almost sounds like a joke. So I think that's why people don't really press it.

[Micah]

But it's worth noting that it is unsettling to Voldemort in the moment that Dumbledore is aware that his buddies are hanging out down in Hogsmeade.

[Eric]

It's an all time great power move from Dumbledore, I think.

[Laura]

Well now we're going to get into our MVP of the week slash our links line. Moving forward these benefits are going to be combined so that y' all can see how much more creative and funny your answers are than ours. We're putting ourselves on the spot here on the show, but we're going to feature all of your answers after we get through ours. So this week's question is in an alternate universe where Dumbledore decided to decided to give Tom a second chance. What Hogwarts position should he have offered Tom instead of Defense against the Dark Arts professor? With a caveat that we're looking for wrong answers only.

[Andrew]

I'm thinking house elf manager. Okay.

[Eric]

Yep.

[Laura]

Yeah, he, he's definitely shown qualifications for that this chapter.

[Eric]

Yeah, no, yeah, he's good at doing what he wants with them. I think that Tom can be Hogwarts first bathroom security guard. Making sure nobody dies in the bathrooms at Hogwarts. He's very qualified at this. Making sure nobody goes into the girls bathroom who shouldn't be there. I think it has the potential to be the most important job at Hogwarts. They should hire him for that.

[Micah]

I think he should be Hogwarts chief chef. But it's too bad that he can't smell the food.

[Eric]

Aw, you got no nose.

[Laura]

I think he should be the Hogwarts career counselor. You know like if you got a dream, get at it. May not work exactly the way you want it to but you know, if you have the determination.

[Andrew]

Tom thinks differently. He worked at Borgen and Burks. He didn't get a job at Hogwarts or any other cool job like for the ministry. And then over on Peter Patreon Marta said as an expert legiliments he would be hired as that counselor that Hogwarts so desperately needs. Students wouldn't even need to talk. He would just know.

[Eric]

Oh my gosh. I agree. Carly says Muggle liaison. You know the one who goes and talks to non wizarding families where when their child has been accepted at Hogwarts. I agree. Tom loves Muggles.

[Micah]

Rachel Puff says peeves patrol.

[Laura]

Well yeah, that would drive him in.

[Eric]

Someone's got to rein him in.

[Laura]

Cassandra says in Mean Girls Nasty Regina becomes a better person through playing sports. Make Voldy a junior coach to exercise his evil through exercise.

[Andrew]

Shannon said kitchen intern. He can learn some respect for all the hard work the house elves put in and maybe he'll learn to not be so evil.

[Eric]

Yeah. Also learned to make a mean risotto.

[Andrew]

Meet them on their level.

[Eric]

Yeah Ben, I'm a little confused by this, but I think the less said about it the better. Ben's suggestion for Tom's role is the squid keeper.

[Andrew]

Oh, do with that what you will.

[Laura]

I bet there's a fan fiction for that.

[Micah]

Oh boy. And Jared brings us home Muggle studies because Tom Riddle loves Muggles with all his heart.

[Andrew]

Thanks everybody who contributed to that question. There are more answers over on our Patreon if anybody wants to check them out. If you have any questions feedback about today's episode, you can send an email or a voice memo that you record on your phone to mugglecast gmail.com you can also reach out to us via Spotify or YouTube or slide into our DMs. Next week we'll take a brief break from chapter by chapter to check in on the Harry Potter TV show, the latest rumors and news. So stay tuned for that. We are now doing one TV show focused episode a month as we approach the TV show which is probably a year ish away and Maybe on Paramount, maybe on HBO, Netflix. Who knows? Who knows where it'll be? Visit mugglecast.com for links to our social media, our Patreon, our transcripts, our favorite episodes, and much more. And now it's time for Quizzage.

[Eric]

This week's Quizzage question. In chapter 19, Luna Lovegood. Diagnosis. Diagnosis. Zachariah Smith with losers. Lurgy. Which 1950s BBC radio program first coined the term meaning a non fatal unspecified illness such as a cold or flu? They called it the dreaded Lurgy. The answer is. The Goon show. Very, very beloved BBC radio program. 42% of the people that answered said they did not look it up. So congrats to all those smarties and those people with the correct answer include. You're a wizard, Frodo. Dumbledore. Eden, The Muggle, established 2012 is back. Eden's friend Elizabeth. Eden's friend Lillian. Eden's friend Caitlyn. Eden's friend Sophia. They're all here. The gang's all here. Oh boy. I'm not Jimmy, Jim, Jimmy, Jim, Jim, Jim He's Jimmy Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim. I assume that's from the Goon Show. Fenty Cheese Shark Ashley B. The new Count Ravioli Unfortunate sufferer of dust allergy Dumbledore's Team Strayan Wizard Quid Witch and Escargot Club. Ha ha ha ha ha. Fun names this time. Here is next week's quizzage question. In chapter 20 of Haploid Prince, we learned why Hogwarts cannot have a Dada teacher for more than a year in United States history, which two American presidents served less than one year in office? And yeah, I know. I'll give you a hint. One of them happened in 1841.

[Andrew]

Okay.

[Eric]

Sometimes, yeah, that really helps me.

[Andrew]

Thank you.

[Eric]

The numbers or the terms or the years? You can work it out with the four year term and you divide and subtract.

[Micah]

Hogwarts Legacy has the answer.

[Eric]

That's true. Oh my gosh. Yeah, it's probably a portrait of that guy. Anyway, submit your answer to us on the Quizzage forum located on the mugglecast website, which has all that other cool stuff that Andrew said a moment ago.

[Andrew]

Thanks everybody for listening. I'm Andrew.

[Eric]

I'm Eric.

[Micah]

I'm Micah.

[Laura]

And I'm Laura.

[Andrew]

See y' all next week.

[Eric]

Bye bye.

[Andrew]

Do the Hokey Pokey Onions. That's why Tom Riddle killed you, Sam.

[Laura]

The UPS store is making packing and shipping Easter gifts quicker than ever this year with UPS air.

[Eric]

How quick?

[Laura]

Quicker than a walk around the park quicker than eating all the Easter candies. Quicker than finding a golden egg that you know is stuffed with cash. When you ship UPS Air at the UPS Store, your items arrive on time or your money back guaranteed at no extra cost exclusively at the UPS Store US retail locations. Send Easter Jewel on time at the UPS Store. Visit the upsstore.com air guarantee for full details. Terms and conditions apply. Spring just slid into your DMs.

[Eric]

Grab that boho.

[Laura]

Look for that rooftop dinner, those sandals

[Eric]

that can keep up with you.

[Laura]

And hang some string lights to give your patio a glow up. Spring's calling, Ross. Work your magic.

[Eric]

There's a world where legends race across city skylines.

[Andrew]

Romance blossoms in glittering ballrooms, and there's

[Eric]

magic around every corner. It's a world known to many as Great Britain.

[Andrew]

You've seen the action on screen. Now visit the real star of the show.

[Eric]

Visit Great Britain. To discover more, go to tripadvisor.com Great Britain.