MBMBaM 743: Combination Taco Bell and Travis House

Summary

Episode Summary: MBMBaM 743 – "Combination Taco Bell and Travis House"

In episode 743 of "My Brother, My Brother And Me" (MBMBaM) titled "Combination Taco Bell and Travis House," hosts Justin, Travis, and Griffin McElroy deliver a festive and laughter-filled discussion centered around holiday traditions, parenting dilemmas, nostalgic family anecdotes, and a humorous critique of corporate food innovations. Released on December 23, 2024, this episode captures the brothers' trademark blend of wit, camaraderie, and genuine advice.

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1. Opening Banter and Holiday Introductions (00:00 – 02:05)

The episode kicks off with Griffin humorously disclaiming their lack of expertise, setting a playful tone. Travis shares a nostalgic musical intro, highlighting their readiness to dive into holiday topics.

• Griffin (00:00): “The McElroy brothers are not experts and their advice should never be followed.”

• Travis (00:21): “My life, it feels like it's better it's better with you.”

2. Elf on the Shelf Debate – Preserving Holiday Magic (02:05 – 07:12)

Justin presents a listener question about wrapping digital gifts like video games, seeking creative solutions. This segues into a spirited debate on the pros and cons of "Elf on the Shelf," with the brothers discussing how to maintain the magic of the holidays without relying heavily on commercialized traditions.

• Justin (04:21): “How can I stand out of the crowd and deliver a memorable performance?”

• Griffin (05:27): “If your kid comes and asks, you say, that's made up.”

3. Nostalgic Christmas Memories – The Sword Behind the Bushes (07:12 – 21:56)

The brothers reminisce about childhood Christmases, sharing a memorable story about finding a Civil War-era saber behind bushes at their ancestral home in Hunts, West Virginia. This tale highlights family traditions and the humorous aftermath of receiving impractical gifts.

• Travis (16:05): “I'm so much on that Covid. I really did a lot of work to love him.”

• Griffin (21:56): “It was a magic union blade.”

4. Rankin Bass Holiday Specials Game (21:56 – 28:38)

Justin introduces a game inspired by Rankin Bass holiday classics. He presents three titles each round—one authentic and two fabricated—and challenges the brothers to identify the real special. This segment showcases their deep knowledge and playful competition.

• Travis (25:53): “Griffin is correct. And I actually love this movie.”

• Griffin (28:38): “This movie sounds lit. Actually rules.”

5. Parenting Advice on Digital Gifts – Making Intangible Presents Tangible (28:38 – 38:19)

Justin seeks advice on presenting digital gifts to children in a meaningful way. The brothers brainstorm creative ideas, such as having kids create homemade box art or combining digital gifts with small physical items to enhance the unwrapping experience.

• Justin (34:40): “Any solutions will be appreciated.”

• Griffin (37:44): “You can't do it because it's not real.”

6. Climax: Taco Bell’s New Crispy Chicken Nuggets (38:19 – 47:54)

The discussion shifts to Taco Bell’s latest product launch of crispy chicken nuggets paired with innovative sauces. The brothers humorously critique the marketing language and question how these offerings fit into Taco Bell’s traditional menu, blending their signature humor with playful skepticism.

• Travis (41:24): “I am moved by the passion and dedication shown in that.”

• Justin (42:06): “That's weird. But listen.”

7. Holiday Performances and Personal Reflections (48:19 – 54:37)

Justin shares his experiences performing as Yukon Cornelius in a local holiday show. The brothers discuss the challenges of embodying beloved characters and offer each other humorous suggestions to enhance their performances, underscoring their connection to family traditions and commitment to entertaining others.

• Justin (50:08): “I still have my nails. I don't want you to pull too, Yukon.”

• Travis (51:21): “I want to see the deleted scene.”

8. Conclusion and Final Banter (54:37 – 55:15)

As the episode draws to a close, the brothers engage in lighthearted teasing and reaffirm their bond. They wrap up with festive cheer, setting a jovial end to the holiday-themed episode.

• Justin (55:12): “Maximum Fun A worker owned network of.”

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Notable Quotes with Timestamps:

• Griffin (00:37): “You have control over the mythos in your home.”

• Justin (04:21): “How can I stand out of the crowd and deliver a memorable performance?”

• Travis (16:05): “I'm so much on that Covid. I really did a lot of work to love him.”

• Travis (25:53): “Griffin is correct. And I actually love this movie.”

• Griffin (28:38): “This movie sounds lit. Actually rules.”

• Justin (34:40): “Any solutions will be appreciated.”

• Griffin (37:44): “You can't do it because it's not real.”

• Travis (41:24): “I am moved by the passion and dedication shown in that.”

• Justin (42:06): “That's weird. But listen.”

• Justin (50:08): “I still have my nails. I don't want you to pull too, Yukon.”

• Travis (51:21): “I want to see the deleted scene.”

• Justin (55:12): “Maximum Fun A worker owned network of.”

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Key Takeaways:

• Holiday Traditions: The brothers explore maintaining the magic of the holidays through creative parenting and personal traditions.

• Nostalgia and Family Stories: Sharing childhood memories strengthens their bond and provides relatable humor.

• Pop Culture Trivia: Engaging in games like identifying Rankin Bass specials showcases their cultural knowledge and competitive spirit.

• Humorous Critiques: Playfully dissecting corporate food innovations highlights their ability to blend humor with everyday topics.

• Personal Reflections: Discussing their own performances and growth offers a glimpse into their personal lives beyond the podcast.

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This episode of "My Brother, My Brother And Me" delivers a blend of insightful advice, nostalgic storytelling, and comedic interactions, making it a delightful listen for both longtime fans and newcomers seeking holiday-themed entertainment.

Transcript

[Griffin McElroy]

The McElroy brothers are not experts and their advice should never be followed. Travis insists he's a sexpert, but if there's a degree on his wall, I haven't seen it. Also, this show isn't for kids, which I mention only so the babies out there will know how cool they are for listening. What's up, you cool baby?

[Travis McElroy]

It's the start of something beautiful A small acquaintance has blossomed it's ripened into a precious friends I could have never seen what was coming for me Hangs at the skate park Hangs by the beach My life, it feels like it's better it's better with you My life, it's better it's better with you this is true it's better it's better with you.

[Justin McElroy]

It'S better with you hello, everybody. Welcome to My Brother, My Brother and Me. It's advice show for the modern era. I'm your oldest brother. Jingle Justin Baccarat.

[Travis McElroy]

Ooh, what's up, Trav Nation? Jingle jangle Old Kris Krangle Travis Big Dog.

[Griffin McElroy]

What's up, Trav Nation?

[Travis McElroy]

Not even finished.

[Griffin McElroy]

Ding ding ring ding ding ring A ding ring ding ding ring ding Hark.

[Travis McElroy]

How the bells, sweet silver bells all seem to sing what a termination I am your middle is brother Travis Big Dog McElroy.

[Justin McElroy]

McElroy certainly guessed. Now it's our Candle Night spectacular here at the McElroy ranch. Griffin has frozen completely. No, he's back. Okay, that was just.

[Griffin McElroy]

My body rolled. That was not a glitch. I just kind of stopped for a bit.

[Justin McElroy]

This is the one that you can gather the family around and say, this is that show I warned you about. And then play it for him. And everybody can have a good time listening because we're not gonna swear.

[Travis McElroy]

So get your Meemaw, get your pop pop get little Meemaw, which is what I assume you call the baby because she's little and wrinkled too. She looks like Meemaw. Right? And it's like, oh, that baby looks. Get baby meemaw. Get big Meemaw. Get medium meemaw. Your middlest meemaw. All the meemaws.

[Griffin McElroy]

Unstack your meemaws of different sizes.

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah. Open them up. There's one meemaw inside each meemaw until you get down to a little egg. And that's baby Meemaw inside the egg. That's a life cycle.

[Griffin McElroy]

That's the Meemaw life cycle.

[Travis McElroy]

That's true.

[Justin McElroy]

Ten years ago, we invented this holiday Candle nights. That's my understanding.

[Griffin McElroy]

What did we do the first Four years.

[Travis McElroy]

We just cursed up a storm.

[Griffin McElroy]

We were on that Christmas creep. If memories are on the Christmas creep.

[Justin McElroy]

And then we eventually invented our own holiday where the money is.

[Travis McElroy]

Right? Yeah.

[Justin McElroy]

And we wanted to come to you if you. I will say this, if you didn't catch our video special, our Candle nights and Candle Night special, you can still go to bit ly candle nightstickets 2024 and watch it. It's just five bucks. And the folks at Army House can really use your donation. They are the beneficiaries of all ticket sales this year. And so if you want to go watch that special, you can pledge five. You can even kick in a few extra bucks if you want to be a real.

[Travis McElroy]

And there's merch. We got merch. Candlelights, posters, candlelights, ornaments. And like the special. Imagine like you're hearing this right, and you're like, how could it get any better than this? But then imagine just three silver foxes coming to you live. And also dad's there, so a fourth, older, much creakier silver fox.

[Griffin McElroy]

More of a white fox at this point.

[Travis McElroy]

A white fox, like a ghost?

[Griffin McElroy]

Sounds like his Metal Gear Solid, like agent code name.

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah, there you go. Ghost, Old fox. And then I really want to see.

[Justin McElroy]

That dressed up as old snake.

[Griffin McElroy]

Now that would kick so much beef, dude.

[Travis McElroy]

Silver snake. And we've got guests and there's segments and there's a. I will just say amazing. My favorite. Justin, I loved you put in the work and did like four different segments.

[Justin McElroy]

Oh yeah, I did a lot of segments.

[Travis McElroy]

Griffin at Winvo, they got a DJ and Rachel dancing, professional DJ in. How amazing.

[Justin McElroy]

How can I compete with that?

[Griffin McElroy]

A professional DJ and fly dancer. So you can't beat that. Big Ly candlenightstickets 2024 I believe is the.

[Justin McElroy]

Please go do that. And now we're gonna help you.

[Travis McElroy]

You're welcome.

[Justin McElroy]

The other day, my young nephew asked me if my 17 month old daughter quote, has gotten an elf on the shelf yet. I said, not yet. But my husband and I have no interest in having an elf on the shelf or doing any of the work that goes. It's day to day lore or sorry, lore, day to day. I don't want to do the elf, but I also don't want to spoil anything for my nephews in regards to the magic of the holidays. They live in an active elf home. I feel I got away with this if my kid is still very young. But I fear next year the same questions are posed. Brothers, any advice on how to keep the magic alive? But not yet bring quite as much of it into my home via an elf. That's from my shelves are for books and knickknacks only.

[Griffin McElroy]

You have control over the mythos in your home. Sure, you don't have much control over much stuff in your home, but the mythos you do have control over. If your kid comes and asks, you say, that's made up. You say a lot of the. I know you probably think a lot of the stuff we do seems wild and out of pocket. A man who can go through ventilation into our home to give us some.

[Travis McElroy]

Kind of solid snake, like some sort.

[Griffin McElroy]

Of solid silver white snake. That's pretty far fetched. You can say no, that one's real. If you can believe it, that one's real.

[Travis McElroy]

The elf that you can buy at Walmart, you can buy in a box at Walmart.

[Griffin McElroy]

Do you want me to show you the box the elf comes in?

[Justin McElroy]

You are pulling at a very delicate sweater, my boys. You're pulling at a real delicate sweater that's going to raise a lot of questions that you may not feel so. So jazzed about answering about what is and isn't real. And may you may find it's a little easier just by the elf and let him live in your home.

[Travis McElroy]

Let me offer this. Let me offer this real elf.

[Justin McElroy]

By the way, just to be clear, the elf is real. Travis and Griffin, they're kidding.

[Travis McElroy]

Let me offer this. You tell your child that the elf is only assigned to kids who are kind of on the bubble and like Santa's keeping track needs a closer eye on them for the naughty and nice list. Right. But if your fate's already decided one way or the other, no need for an elf.

[Justin McElroy]

We have an elf. We have an elf. And I would be comfortable telling my kids that. That they're kind of on the fence.

[Travis McElroy]

They're on the bubble. Yeah.

[Justin McElroy]

They need a little extra. A little extra help get them back on the straight and narrow.

[Griffin McElroy]

I would. And this is why screen time's so important. I would simply load up their iPads to the Wikipedia article for the elf on the shelf. If I may. This was a book and toy that came out in 2005. This is not a. It's not. It's not even 20 years old yet. Christmas tradition. This does not make. I refuse to let this tiny little embodiment of the police state into my home to watch my kids and have to be in all kinds of wild scenarios. I'm climbing out of the blender today.

[Travis McElroy]

Woo.

[Justin McElroy]

I think that's adorable. When People who subscribe to Santa grouse about the police state in. In. In relation to the elf in the show.

[Travis McElroy]

That's different. Santa's just a judgmental neighbor.

[Griffin McElroy]

This is a. This is voluntary.

[Justin McElroy]

Santa is a man who's watching everything you do and deciding whether or not you get gifts. You cannot draw this. Like, I don't want some space cop. That's Santa.

[Travis McElroy]

But I don't get to choose. To Griffin's point, I don't get to choose if my kids know about Santa.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yes, Santa's omniscient.

[Travis McElroy]

Right.

[Griffin McElroy]

There's nothing we can do about that. Elf on the Shelf infringes upon my Fourth amendment rights in a direct and physical, tangible way.

[Travis McElroy]

I don't have to install a Santa simulacrum in my house to watch my kids.

[Justin McElroy]

I want you to know that if your adorable kids walk into my home and start talking a bunch of yay about Clarice and her relative realness, I will hang your kids out to dry. As the heretics that they are, I will say they aren't getting.

[Travis McElroy]

That's fair, Justin.

[Justin McElroy]

I get that. Here's all the kids and bad kids. They're confused.

[Travis McElroy]

I would load up on my kid's iPad. Every TikTok video I see related to Elf on the Shelf, which seems to be one of.

[Justin McElroy]

Sorry, I just wanna be downloaded. TikTok screen.

[Travis McElroy]

I don't know, but there's one of two. They're always in one of two veins, which is one. Looks like the elf destroyed your toy, ate your food, cut up your pajamas. What a jerk. Or two a child, a younger sibling usually has touched the elf, and now everyone's lives are ruined.

[Justin McElroy]

Yeah, it's hard to have kids for sure. They're always touching things and screaming, but sometimes you just gotta get the elf and move them around, you know?

[Travis McElroy]

I've never seen a single video of a child going, I love that. This elf is bad.

[Justin McElroy]

They're bad. They're objective bad.

[Griffin McElroy]

I want to know about the algo you're. You're fricking surfing on dude, where you're getting Elf on the Sn. Elf. Elf on the Shelf. Snuff films. My snuff just like, man, it's late at night. I want to just see some kids touch elves and watch them perish.

[Travis McElroy]

My TikTok is like, oh, you like videos where it looks like the dog is having a conversation with this person and you love. Oh, this toddler said a funny thing. Cool. Here's a child killing magic in their home. Did you like that? Is that.

[Justin McElroy]

Why is it better for the. Why is it better than watching Travis kill magic when he looks at his daughter and it's just a toy. That's magic killing.

[Travis McElroy]

I didn't advocate for. It's just a toy. I advocate for on the Bubble.

[Justin McElroy]

On the bubble. Okay.

[Travis McElroy]

And that's not one of the real elves. That's a store bought.

[Justin McElroy]

I see the color of your monitor flashing as you desperately search for.

[Griffin McElroy]

I was just reading the Wikipedia article for the Elf on the Shelf. Frankly, my dudes, if you give your.

[Justin McElroy]

Kids Wikipedia access, you might as well move out.

[Griffin McElroy]

That's a good point. I'm not going to crack that open.

[Justin McElroy]

Yeah, it's.

[Griffin McElroy]

I'm just saying it seems like we could come up with a way, way cooler Elf on the Shelf that would then turn into its own sort of multimedia, like, uber franchise in the way. We got a stuffed animal once, and it was an official Elf on the shelf St. Bernard. And he came with his own book about how the elves on the shelves use these Saint Bernards to store up Christmas spirit so that they can use it when they, I guess, spy on the kids for Santa Claus later in the year. And we didn't know what Elf on the Shelf. Well, my kids didn't know what Elf on the Shelf was. To them, this was like getting a battle cat without a he man knowledge. And so that's their entry point into the series.

[Travis McElroy]

Okay, what about this? Hey. Okay, parents, I'm gonna do it for you. You don't have to buy anything new, right? What you're gonna do is just every year pick a different toy that already exists. And you're gonna wire them up with a microphone.

[Griffin McElroy]

Cool.

[Travis McElroy]

And you're gonna tell your kids that there's a mole. Santa's got a mole on the inside. And you don't know which one it is. And now you gotta find that mole who's the confidential informant who's narcing on him. You know what I mean? And then it's like, oh, what's that? Oh, Raggedy Ann is wearing a wire. Right.

[Griffin McElroy]

I don't know. If the concern here was we're gonna have to spend a bunch of money on. On elves, I think it's probably my concern would be I'm gonna have to think of clever, like, situations for this little scamp to get into every day for me. That's the point. Pushing against it. Cause otherwise you could just say, yeah, there's an elf on the Shelf in our house. Now. He's really lazy, really good at hiding.

[Justin McElroy]

He's the best in the list, you know.

[Travis McElroy]

I see.

[Griffin McElroy]

Really good.

[Justin McElroy]

I don't think you guys have fully appreciated one thing. That there is a good three to four minutes every morning that my kids spend looking for the elf that they do not spend talking to me.

[Griffin McElroy]

But how much time of your own private time did you spend looking, like out of the bread box? No, we've done that.

[Justin McElroy]

No, no, no, no, no. Griffin, you're confused. That's. Hi, Justin.

[Travis McElroy]

That's his problem also. I'm pretty sure the elf moves on its own. Griffin, the elf, he's great at it.

[Justin McElroy]

He loves it. Honestly. He loves the challenge.

[Griffin McElroy]

I'm curious what high Justin brings to this operation.

[Justin McElroy]

Yesterday. Yesterday the elf was hang lamp. And underneath where the elf was hanging, I put a pile of mini Eminem. And I said, sid, does that read.

[Travis McElroy]

Like you threw up or like you.

[Griffin McElroy]

Think these fell out of his pockets? I think you're.

[Justin McElroy]

That's kind of what I was going for. I was like, I spent a good two minutes. Let's be fair. 90 seconds. Try to figure out how to suspend an Eminem in midair to have like the effect.

[Griffin McElroy]

Oh, cool.

[Justin McElroy]

You know, land clue. It's just a fun little tableau. You know what? I don't actually mind doing it because it makes my kids happy.

[Travis McElroy]

I guess that's fine.

[Griffin McElroy]

You don't have to do that.

[Travis McElroy]

Okay. You can't pivot from three to four minutes where my kids don't talk to me too. I do it because it makes my kids happy.

[Justin McElroy]

I contain multitudes. My brother in law messaged me letting me know what he got my husband for candle nights. It's not something he'd like at all. To the point where I'm not sure where he came up with the idea. It's slightly more my speed. Got to catch them all. You know how it is. But barely. What is the best way to lie to my brother in law? To tell him the gift is fine without laying it on too thick. He'll love it. Is so far beyond the truth that I can't bring myself to type it. Please, brothers. I've already pretended I haven't seen the message for like 15 minutes. I can't go silent for too long. That's from present panic in the Palmetto state.

[Griffin McElroy]

I will say this about parenthood. This is one thing that it you gotta confront pretty quickly because we get a lot of these texts, I would say every year from multiple people. Yeah, I'm gonna get Henry here. The complete works of William Shakespeare. Don't do that.

[Travis McElroy]

But Griffin, you just.

[Griffin McElroy]

He won't like that in there.

[Travis McElroy]

You hit the nail on the head. First of all, question asker. You're not in the wrong. Because your brother in law texted you past tense. I got this for them already. That's where they messed up. It's gotta be.

[Justin McElroy]

All you can say is, oh, he'll love it, right?

[Travis McElroy]

At that point just say, oh, sounds great. Oh, he'll love it. But that's why you text and say, I'm thinking about getting this. I'm going to get this is what I'm looking at. Would they like this? Because once they've made the purchase that. No, I'm not going to give you negative feedback at that point.

[Justin McElroy]

Yeah, of course not.

[Griffin McElroy]

But you don't want to ruin Christmas. Christmas is going to be ruined for one of these two people. The gift giver or the gift receiver. Right.

[Justin McElroy]

Because if you get it.

[Griffin McElroy]

Guys, we're all adults here. The presents aren't even what it's about for me anymore.

[Travis McElroy]

Okay? It's the money.

[Griffin McElroy]

Applause please. Just a little recognition that what I said was like pretty huge and pretty like cool. I thought it's not even about the presents for me anymore. But if I get a real stinker of a present. Thank you, Travis. Thank you.

[Travis McElroy]

You're welcome, Griffin.

[Griffin McElroy]

I thought I cussed and you were clapping to Mark when you were.

[Travis McElroy]

No, no, no, no. That's why I didn't clap the first time. But then you seemed to really need it.

[Justin McElroy]

You needed it.

[Griffin McElroy]

I did need it. It's not even about to prep this.

[Justin McElroy]

Grown up Christmas wish.

[Griffin McElroy]

I'm kind of grown up now. Cause for me it used to be about all the presents.

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah.

[Justin McElroy]

Okay, so what's it about now? Religion.

[Griffin McElroy]

But it's not about religion. It's about, I guess the time you.

[Travis McElroy]

Spend with your family opening presents.

[Griffin McElroy]

Not even about that for me anymore. But if I do get a real stinker of a present, I'll be in a mood. How could you get me? So how could you get me?

[Justin McElroy]

I don't think that's true what you're saying.

[Griffin McElroy]

I wouldn't be in a mood. But you may be referenced. I will say there definitely historical reason to believe this. That you will be made the butt of a joke for the rest of their lives.

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah.

[Griffin McElroy]

I'll say this.

[Justin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Travis McElroy]

Especially if it's a real wild pull. If it's like what? Why would I want these Hummel figurines or whatever, Right? That's gonna be referenced.

[Griffin McElroy]

I love our dad. I think I'm on record saying that in a lot of places. I love you, dad. Dad might see this or listen to this. I love you, dad.

[Justin McElroy]

Griffin has been clear about that since at least 2021.

[Griffin McElroy]

I'm so much on that Covid. I really did a lot of work to love him.

[Justin McElroy]

He fell in love with his dad all over the world.

[Griffin McElroy]

I love my dad as of COVID But one Christmas within the last decade. So as an adult man, dad came up to me after the Christmas stuff was done and had another little present for me. He's like, here, this one's for you, too. I forgot to put it under the tree. I was like, oh, okay. Cool thinking, like, here we go. Red Ryder BB gun. It's a Nintendo 64. There's something a little special, something else that Santa sneaked away there. And I open it up, and it was a biography about Frank Sinatra.

[Justin McElroy]

Old blue. Heck, yeah. Was it the way you wear your hat?

[Griffin McElroy]

It's the. I guess the way I wear my hat in my cool general.

[Justin McElroy]

No, no, no.

[Griffin McElroy]

Oh, no. I thought you were saying. Why did dad think that?

[Travis McElroy]

Do you wear your hat in an interesting and unique way?

[Griffin McElroy]

I don't know. I don't know how to say. Say this more clearly. I don't care about Frank Sinatra or that whole vibe at all. I think it's so boring, and I do not understand it. I think he sucks and he's boring. He's this Snoopy of dudes. And dad, dad, apropos of. I don't even like books, especially not biography books about a dude I don't like.

[Justin McElroy]

Yeah, dad. We didn't have a ton of money growing up. And a lot of times dad would have promotional items from the radio station that people would send for, like, review that would end up as, like, well, who is this the best suited for? Like, you might end up with a season one of Billy Ray Cyrus's doc on dvd, for example. Oh, yeah, I guess I do have a DVD player. It's a good call.

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah, that's a good fit.

[Griffin McElroy]

The point of that story being that when we do reference, like a way out of left, way out of pocket, present pick. We do. Me and Rachel do usually use a Frank Sinatra biography as shorthand for what that would be, which is a gift, which is a kind thing to give someone an inside joke, even if you are the butt of it.

[Travis McElroy]

I remember a year after Pirates of the Curse of the Black Pearl came out, which I saw in theaters nine times.

[Griffin McElroy]

Was that the first one?

[Travis McElroy]

Yes. Correct. And dad got us all replica swords and if I remember correctly, you guys got, I don't know, like this sword of Gondor or like the Bride's blade. Tory Hans armor. I got the Buster Sword, dude, the Buster sword. And then I opened mine and it's like this four foot long broadsword where the hilt was a huge skull and crossbones and you could pull two of the bones out and they were daggers.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Travis McElroy]

And dad said, you know this is a replica of the sword from Pirates of the Caribbean.

[Justin McElroy]

Yes, that one was. That was a good.

[Travis McElroy]

And it simply is not. It simply is not from Pirates of the Caribbean. And also, is there a notable sword.

[Justin McElroy]

In Pirates of the Caribbean? A beloved sword?

[Travis McElroy]

There is a sword or two. They use swords quite often. None of them are like two handed broadswords with a giant skull.

[Griffin McElroy]

Did you see Orlando Bloom bring out?

[Travis McElroy]

It did rule. But I was also in college in Oklahoma and had to fly back and forth for school. And I know that you can check some things in a bag. I did not have a suitcase capable of checking a four foot long two minute broadsword.

[Justin McElroy]

I couldn't just eat for your steal.

[Griffin McElroy]

What I love about that story is it does cover both ends of the surprise out of pocket present gambit which is that me receiving the Buster Sword, that was a very good Christmas present. That one hit real good. I used that to cut up watermelon in my first apartment. I lived in that thing ruled.

[Travis McElroy]

I remember that.

[Griffin McElroy]

That was good.

[Travis McElroy]

What's fun is if dad is listening to this right now, I know that that pirate sword big skull thing is hanging on the wall of his office and he's probably looking at it right now, maybe realizing for the first time that it is not a replica sword for Pirates of the Caribbean and in fact just a giant pirate broadsword.

[Justin McElroy]

Hey, do you guys remember when we found that sword behind the bushes?

[Travis McElroy]

I do.

[Justin McElroy]

Can I ask you about that? I just think this is.

[Griffin McElroy]

You are about to establish some deep, deep McElroy lore that I can't believe is not out there.

[Travis McElroy]

Trash, remember?

[Griffin McElroy]

Okay, I remember it.

[Justin McElroy]

Okay, so we all remember at one day. So in from our house, our ancestral home on 10th street in Hunts, West Virginia, there was row bushes outside the porch. And one day we went behind the bushes and that was a thing. Going behind the bushes was an issue.

[Travis McElroy]

Right.

[Justin McElroy]

You had to really get back there. It was a whole production. You'd usually get poked by thorns. So nobody wanted to go behind the bushes. But one day we went behind the bushes and we found a. I mean, without knowing Anything about swords? It looked like a Civil War era saber.

[Travis McElroy]

Correct. That's exactly how I just describe it. Very beat up. Like the. I remember the sheath was scabbard. Like the end of it was like broken off.

[Justin McElroy]

Yes. So here's what I want. And so we for years, as you can imagine being young boys finding a sword behind some bushes. It's like incredible. And we for years, like we had this sword. We talked about it and wondered about it. It is occurring to me now. Travel and Griff talking through this. Dad definitely bought that sword and didn't want mom to know.

[Travis McElroy]

He.

[Justin McElroy]

There's a. It's. I guys, I'm 44 years old and I realized 20 minutes ago dad definitely.

[Travis McElroy]

Bought the sword at like an antique store or a rummage sale or something.

[Justin McElroy]

Behind the bushes is a fun little thing. Or because he didn't want mom to be mad at him. It was one of the two.

[Travis McElroy]

Whoa. A sword. How weird. How weird. I guess I should keep this in my room.

[Justin McElroy]

Chose me hard.

[Griffin McElroy]

Disagree. Guys. I think a big Civil War fight happened outside our house. And I think a general from the year 1994.

[Justin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Griffin McElroy]

No, because it wasn't there when we moved in.

[Travis McElroy]

And it wasn't buried, Griffin. It was just sitting.

[Griffin McElroy]

You don't know. It wasn't buried. And tectonic shifting pushed it upwards.

[Justin McElroy]

Oil got a 3.3 earthquake here in Huntington this week.

[Griffin McElroy]

It happens. It unearths old Civil War swords. Every time that that happens, there's a whole strata of them under the surface. It doesn't take much for one of them to back up. And so this sword, which does have magic properties, was very real and a relic. And I don't know where it is right now. If it got thrown away. Did it get thrown away?

[Justin McElroy]

Probably.

[Griffin McElroy]

It was an old sword. It was pretty beat up.

[Travis McElroy]

And it was definitely for the union, so don't ask.

[Griffin McElroy]

So it was a magic union blade.

[Travis McElroy]

Hey, everybody, it's holiday season. And you know what that means. It means holiday specials.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Travis McElroy]

And who makes the most beloved holiday specials? Well, that's right. Rankin Bass. But what you may not know, folks at home, Rankin Bass has a huge list of specials that they have made that you may not have heard of. And so I would like to play a little game that I'm calling Rankin Bass or Stankin. And I have to say butt here. But I think you can infer Rankin.

[Justin McElroy]

Bass or Stankin Butt.

[Travis McElroy]

I think you're able to infer.

[Griffin McElroy]

I think that is basically you made everyone think a cus. Which is like in some ways worse.

[Travis McElroy]

Than unless they don't know it. If they already know it, that's their fault.

[Justin McElroy]

If they think the cuss it's on them.

[Travis McElroy]

I'm going to give you three titles. One of them is an actual Rankin Bass special. And two of them I have made up. This is inspired by, of course, telly Title Tellers, which you may have seen on McRoy family clubhouse.

[Griffin McElroy]

Clubhouse.

[Travis McElroy]

Okay, first round. I got four of these. You ready?

[Justin McElroy]

Four rounds or four titles?

[Travis McElroy]

Four rounds, three titles each.

[Justin McElroy]

Okay.

[Griffin McElroy]

For a total of 12.

[Travis McElroy]

Sure. Just like there are months in the year. Think about it, folks.

[Justin McElroy]

Sure, if you say so, sir.

[Travis McElroy]

Willie.

[Justin McElroy]

All right.

[Travis McElroy]

John Nash.

[Justin McElroy]

All right, calm down.

[Travis McElroy]

Willie Mays Hayes and the say hey Kid. Hank Aaron and the Wind Up Toy Boy. Nolan Ryan and the Cat with no Name.

[Griffin McElroy]

That's cool. All those are cool, cool, cool.

[Travis McElroy]

Names.

[Griffin McElroy]

This is.

[Justin McElroy]

Wow, Trav, I didn't think you. I was expecting, like you're without a Santa Claus or something.

[Griffin McElroy]

Give him one more time. Because all I heard was just like names flying past me.

[Travis McElroy]

Okay. Willie Mays and the say hey Kid. Hank Aaron and the Wind Up Toy Boy. Nolan Ryan and the Cat with no Name.

[Griffin McElroy]

I gotta do that.

[Travis McElroy]

I could probably say the Wind Up Toy Boy, not the Wind Up Toy Boy.

[Griffin McElroy]

No, there's no way to say it that way. It is. I feel pretty strongly as Hank Aaron in the Wind Up Toy Boy. That hits, right.

[Justin McElroy]

I think the say hey Kid. That seems so weird for us.

[Griffin McElroy]

Willie Mays sounds like the oldest one. And Rankin Bass movies are pretty old.

[Justin McElroy]

What do you got, Trev?

[Travis McElroy]

It is Willie Mays and the say hey Kid. A guardian angel agrees to help Willie Mays win the National League pennant if Maze agrees to take care of Veronica. A lonely, mischievous orphan girl. Veronica makes Maze's life difficult. But when relatives show up to claim her after hearing that she's inherited money, Maze's heart softens. Wow.

[Griffin McElroy]

Is this an animated film?

[Travis McElroy]

It is.

[Griffin McElroy]

Cool. It's the ABC Saturday superstar movie.

[Travis McElroy]

Okay, you ready for the next one?

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Justin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Travis McElroy]

The fairies Holiday Trove. The Leprechaun's Christmas Gold or the Mermaid's First Christmas.

[Griffin McElroy]

First. What was the first one again?

[Travis McElroy]

The Fairy's Holiday Trove.

[Griffin McElroy]

And the second one again, what was that?

[Travis McElroy]

The Leprechaun's Christmas Gold and.

[Griffin McElroy]

Go ahead and give me that third one one more time.

[Travis McElroy]

The Mermaid's First Christmas.

[Justin McElroy]

It's the first one, I think. The Fairies Holiday Trove. That's my guess. I think that that is, I don't know. Trove. Just Seems like a strange word for you to use.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah, for sure. I really like the leprechaun's Christmas gold a lot because I feel like there's a lot of story potential there, so I'll pick that one.

[Travis McElroy]

Griffin is correct. And I actually love this movie. It's on a weird Rankin Bass collection we have that includes the Frank Elbaum the True Story of Santa Claus. That includes him becoming immortal because a band of fairies gives him immortality. But in the leprechaun's Christmas Gold, a young Irish boy on a ship passing by an island realizes it's Christmas, and he paddles a boat over to get a Christmas tree. And in digging it up, frees a banshee from her prison. And she tries to steal Christmas gold. And she's a shapeshifter. And the only way to know is she's always crying. And with the help of St. Patrick, the leprechauns have to trick her into turning to liquid so they can replant a pinecone to trap her back under a Christmas tree.

[Griffin McElroy]

This movie sounds lit. Actually rules.

[Travis McElroy]

It's so good and has some great songs in it. But my favorite is the casting where Art Carney plays Barney Killarney. And just saying it makes me so happy.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yowza.

[Travis McElroy]

Okay, next one. Tommy McBlunder and his marvelous wonder. Willie McBean and his magic machine. Or Susie McCarvel and her miraculous marvel, Willy McBean.

[Griffin McElroy]

Sounds, sounds. It hits. I'm nostalgic for Willy McBean and I don't even know who he is, but is that because you're thinking of Willie Beamish, the Sega CD point and click adventure game? I don't know. I thought of that.

[Travis McElroy]

What do you think, Justin?

[Justin McElroy]

It's in your brother's heart somewhere, I think.

[Travis McElroy]

Say the Name's one Tommy McBlender.

[Justin McElroy]

Look at my eye. Take your sunglasses off.

[Travis McElroy]

Just regular glasses. I can't read it. I can't read it. Tommy McBunder as Marvelous Wheelie McGinn.

[Justin McElroy]

Hair down, glasses off.

[Travis McElroy]

Tommy McBunder and his Marvelous Wonder, Willie McBean and his Magic Machine. Susie McCarvel and her Miraculous Marvel.

[Justin McElroy]

I'm gonna say Susie McCarvel and her miraculous marvel.

[Travis McElroy]

The correct answer is Willie McBean and his Magic Machine. The film tells the story of Willie McBean, a young schoolboy who teams up with an anthropomorphic monkey named Pablo to prevent the villainous Professor Rasputin Von Rotten from changing the history of the world using the newly created and duplicated magic time machine.

[Griffin McElroy]

Magic time Machine. Yeah, I remember that one.

[Justin McElroy]

That's good.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Travis McElroy]

So Right now it's 2 to 1, Griffin leading.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Justin McElroy]

Okay.

[Griffin McElroy]

It's sad at the end of that movie when Pablo gets pulled into the Time Fan, which is the sort of propulsive force on the machine, and his body's destroyed and scattered throughout history.

[Travis McElroy]

But there is one molecule of Pablo. In everything.

[Griffin McElroy]

In everything, we are all. We are all Pablo's son breathing that monkey's red juice.

[Travis McElroy]

Okay, here's the last one. The Godzilla show, the Ultraman show, or the King Kong show?

[Justin McElroy]

I mean, I think Rankin Bass did. What was the.

[Travis McElroy]

The Godzilla show, the Ultraman show, or the King Kong show?

[Justin McElroy]

I feel like Rankin Bass would have done. I feel like they would have gotten Japanese companies to do the first two properties. To me, I feel like an American company would have gotten King Kong. Or they might be an English company. By the way, I would say King Kong.

[Griffin McElroy]

I like Ultraman.

[Travis McElroy]

Me too.

[Justin McElroy]

He kicks butt.

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah, I'll say him, you'll say Ultraman. Justin's correct. It's gonna tie it up. We're ending here on a tie. Everybody wins in this. The King Kong Show. In this series, the giant ape befriends the Bond family, with whom he goes on various adventures. Heck yeah. Fighting monsters, robots, aliens, mad scientists and other threats. Unlike King Kong's destructive roles in this film, the cartoon turned him into a protector of humanity. Now, what's interesting, Justin, is you got the answer right, but for the wrong reason. This was actually the first anime made by a Japanese company for American audiences. Teamed up with Rankin Bass. Written by Rankin Bass, but animated in Japan and sent over here. There were a lot of those, by the way. They made several, like Kaiju style movies written by Rankin Bass but made in Japan.

[Griffin McElroy]

In this one, King Kong wanted to be a podiatrist and he had to leave Skull island in order to.

[Travis McElroy]

Hey, did you know Rankin Bass made Thundercats?

[Griffin McElroy]

I didn't know that. Yeah, but I also. I also never really cared to find out.

[Travis McElroy]

Okay, cool, Fun, energy.

[Griffin McElroy]

I'm not saying that. No, no, no. I'm not saying I resent what you just did for me. I'm saying I personally would not have sought that information out. I'm not mad that you've given it to me.

[Justin McElroy]

On that cheerful, high energy note, we will take a break and follow up.

[Griffin McElroy]

I'm not saying the content. I don't like being characterized like I say the content's bad.

[Justin McElroy]

I think it's great we left the room.

[Griffin McElroy]

Would I have done it? Not on My own.

[Justin McElroy]

No.

[Travis McElroy]

Is that a. It started with you.

[Justin McElroy]

I'll tell you what you could do on your own, Griffin, and that's find a doctor thanks to ZocDoc, right?

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah.

[Griffin McElroy]

Oh yeah, yeah. I went on Zocdoc and it's a shame that this is our Candlenights episode because there's some ideas that are about to be expressed that may be challenging for young ears, but to get a special sterilization operation, I went on zocdoc. Do you guys understand what I mean?

[Travis McElroy]

It wasn't mandatory. This wasn't like a state enforcement nor.

[Griffin McElroy]

Was it mandatory from as a client. Zocdoc wasn't like. And also if you could go use our service to find someone in order.

[Travis McElroy]

To use the service, in order to.

[Justin McElroy]

Use the service for us to pay. We will pay you.

[Travis McElroy]

We will pay.

[Griffin McElroy]

Go ahead and say Justin, 25 bucks.

[Justin McElroy]

I don't think it's a good. I don't think it's a good luck. I don't think Zoc Z. ZocDoc won't even make you get a surgery that you don't want to get.

[Travis McElroy]

That's true.

[Justin McElroy]

100%.

[Griffin McElroy]

No.

[Travis McElroy]

They're really flexible about that kind of thing.

[Griffin McElroy]

They did genuinely help me find my number one dude at this point who did my vasectomy and just a really bang up job. Really spectacular. ZocDoc is a free app and website where you can search and compare high quality in network doctors. Choose the right ones for your needs and click to instantly book an appointment. That's what I did. We're talking about in network appointments with more than 100,000 healthcare providers across every specialty from mental health to dental health, eye care to skincare. Gonad stuff. Do you know what Henry?

[Travis McElroy]

Reference stuff.

[Griffin McElroy]

I have to share this, guys. Do you know what Henry refers to? And he knows it's not right. Like he knows it's not a good thing to call your privacy something other than like the technical like terms. We try to enforce that. But he started calling it his gunky stuff and that's really terrific. That's really terrific. When we say anything else at this point he's trying to get it started. Which I appreciate as a fellow content creator. Anyway, so much more. Zocdoc appointments happen fast within 24 hours.

[Travis McElroy]

For all your gunky hours of booking.

[Griffin McElroy]

For all your gunky stuff. You can even score same day appointments. Stop putting off those doctor's appointments. Go to zocdoc.com mybrother to find and instantly book a top rated doctor that's Zocdoc.com mybrother Zocdoc.com mybrother.

[Travis McElroy]

You know what's coming up, folks? A new year. And it could be time for a new look. Maybe change your look up with Stitch Fix.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yes.

[Travis McElroy]

Sometimes, man, there's been stuff that Stitch Fix has sent me that if I were like, just in a store shopping for myself.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Travis McElroy]

I don't even know if it would have caught my eye because I would only be thinking about the stuff I normally wear. And then like, I get that and I'm like, huh? And I put it on and I'm like, yes, I would wear this every day. Absolutely.

[Griffin McElroy]

I'm H2T in stitch fix pickups for my last box today. And it is amazing. I like that. I was gonna tell you it's from a brand I had bought clothes from before, not through Stitch Fix. And Stitch Fix was like, has me so dialed in that they were like, we know exactly what you like. And they were right.

[Travis McElroy]

And that's because you work with a stylist, a personal stylist who's going to, like, take the things that you say you like to wear, your budget, your size, your style, all those things into consideration, pick out stuff just for you, no subscription required, send it to you, and then you can pick and choose which of those pieces you want to keep and only pay for the stuff you keep. Or keep the whole box if it all works for you, but you send back the rest. You only pay for what you keep. It's an amazing service that we have all been using for years and years now. Go sign up with Stitch Fix, try something new, make style easy. Get started today@stitch fix.com brother. That's stitchfix.com brother. A right down the middle. Normal candlenights advertisement.

[Justin McElroy]

A normal one for a change. Hi, brothers McElroy. This year for Christmas, I'm getting both of my parents some video games on the switch we have in the house. How far we've come, I've already figured out the games. The only issue is I bought them digitally, so there isn't actually anything I have for the video games to put under the tree. Just saying, like, hey, I bought games, but you can't unwrap them. They're digital. Feels awkward. Any solutions will be appreciated. That's from wrapping in Washu. I mean, I personally would love for my kid to hand me their homemade Snipperclips box art. I think I would. That would really mean a lot to me if they made their own little pretty good Snipperclips box. Get a, you know, boring clothes box and just draw on it, the game art, and then wrap it up. Yeah, and then they're gonna be really excited to get a little art from you.

[Travis McElroy]

That's way better than what I was gonna say.

[Justin McElroy]

Oh, Travis, no, don't say that. You don't know this.

[Travis McElroy]

I was gonna say, find an empty box with, like, a cool present, but it's just the box, and when you look at it, you're like, oh, my God, you got me a cool. And then they open. It's just a note. That's like, I got. I got you Animal Crossing. Yeah, it's on your switch already.

[Justin McElroy]

That is worse. Yeah, yeah, I'll let you.

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah. You encouraged me to say it after I admitted you' I shouldn't have made you say that. I don't understand why you made me do that. I wasn't very kind. I had conceded.

[Griffin McElroy]

And yet you actually can't give anyone a digital gift. I'm so sorry. It's the one. It's the only thing, and I get it. Like, holy crap. It would be so much easier and better for everyone if we could just say like. And also, I bought you a digital copy of that movie you like so much and have it hit, but it hasn't hit ever.

[Travis McElroy]

It's hard.

[Justin McElroy]

You just can't do it, though. I mean, it can be nice, but you can't.

[Griffin McElroy]

You can't do it because it's not real and they don't own it. Is the only other thing. Because it's a license. You are being. The gift I've given you is I have, temporarily, because of my money, allowed.

[Justin McElroy]

You to watch, rented you a license to play Snooper Clips.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yes, for now. Until this store goes belly up. And then who knows? Who knows at that point?

[Travis McElroy]

Well, that's why you download it and then you take your whole thing off the grid, and then they can't get.

[Justin McElroy]

It off the grid. They take it back.

[Travis McElroy]

They can't take it back.

[Justin McElroy]

I give you a fully jailbroken.

[Travis McElroy]

That's why I'm downloading all my TikToks now. I'm just going through and just downloading every TikTok I can while there's still time and just saving them all. Then eventually, I'll have my own offline TikTok and the legend. There would have been time. Now I can scroll through every TikTok till I reach it.

[Griffin McElroy]

I am not worried about the ban, you guys, because I will just get access to Travis's private Stuff.

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah, man.

[Griffin McElroy]

Travis's special stuff.

[Travis McElroy]

My TikTok is finite. The only new TikToks, after all, will be my own that I make, where I'm just going to take old TikToks and remake them in my own image.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah. There's not a digital gift you can give that's going to hit, but you could give a small gift. Really? Anything. Anything. You could hand them a little capsule, toy capsule, and say merry Christmas. Also.

[Travis McElroy]

Just the capsule.

[Griffin McElroy]

Also, I got you digital snipper clips. No, there would need to be a toy or prize or present inside. You give them a little. Here's a candle. Okay. And also I got you snipper clips. Awesome. You can't do either one of those on their own. I got you a candle. Okay. Turn on your tv. There's snipper clips on it. Oh, cool. Together.

[Justin McElroy]

This is great. You could have given them a thing that they liked, but you've given them a thing and also something they like.

[Griffin McElroy]

You've tied the good present to a tangible object.

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah. So you've tied an idea that they. A concept.

[Justin McElroy]

Right. The illumination and scent of the candle is secondary. The value of the candle is its symbolic attachment to snipperclips.

[Travis McElroy]

You do have to be careful, though, because scent's memory is very strong. And like everything I. Every time I think about EverQuest, I immediately think of the Dave Matthews Band album Crash, which I listened to on a boombox after getting it for Christmas while playing EverQuest Shoof Trash. But now the two. Hold on.

[Griffin McElroy]

Can I catch my breath from that story you just told about your childhood? I need a minute to recover from.

[Justin McElroy]

What crashed into him.

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah. The two are inextricably linked in my mind. EverQuest and Dave Matthews.

[Griffin McElroy]

All right, cool. Go on. Cool life.

[Travis McElroy]

Thanks. Thanks, brother. Happy candlelights to me.

[Griffin McElroy]

Cool part of you.

[Travis McElroy]

I don't still do that, Griffin.

[Griffin McElroy]

No, I know. The cool part of your life.

[Travis McElroy]

I have friends and family now that I spend time with, and I've moved on. That was me at, like, 15.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yes. So sad. I know. To think about.

[Travis McElroy]

No. What? No, at the time, it was very cool.

[Justin McElroy]

Yeah, for sure. Yeah. We're sufficiently bummed you did stuff, too.

[Travis McElroy]

We've all had periods we're not proud of.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah, man.

[Justin McElroy]

But I don't talk about it on our huge podcast.

[Griffin McElroy]

Man.

[Travis McElroy]

Keep that stuff. I guess I'm just more vulnerable and open to sharing who I am.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah, I guess so.

[Travis McElroy]

I'm not ashamed of who I used to be.

[Griffin McElroy]

I am. I put him away. He's Gone.

[Travis McElroy]

I killed that Griffin.

[Griffin McElroy]

I didn't kill him. But he sure ain't gonna get talked about on this podcast against my will. No way. Thanks. Can't do a digital gift.

[Justin McElroy]

I want a munch squad. I want too much squ. Welcome to my squad. Podcast of the podcast profile. Latest grace of brand eating. I thought here, this late into the year, we'd be talking about the holidays. The yule still. And then look who strides into the room yesterday.

[Griffin McElroy]

Oh, no.

[Justin McElroy]

Ready to get just, like, absolutely upset. The apple cart. I'm going to open the image, and I'll just like. And I think that this one speaks for itself. There it is.

[Travis McElroy]

Wait, hold on, guys. Hold on.

[Justin McElroy]

Taco Bell nuggets.

[Travis McElroy]

Whoa.

[Justin McElroy]

Yeah, it's happening.

[Travis McElroy]

Whoa.

[Justin McElroy]

They coupled nuggets with maybe the most unhinged press release I've read all year.

[Travis McElroy]

Can I just say just. Just first blush, first look. What's wild to me, Justin? They look like perfectly normal, maybe even above average nuggets.

[Justin McElroy]

Yeah, they're gonna be. Yeah. So let's hear about it.

[Travis McElroy]

There's no, like, weird taco fied. We raffy.

[Griffin McElroy]

Let's let him finish.

[Travis McElroy]

Oh, boy.

[Justin McElroy]

In a world where chicken nugget loyalty runs deep, Taco Bell is daring to push the boundaries of innovation yet again with the introduction of crispy chicken nuggets.

[Travis McElroy]

I appreciate that.

[Griffin McElroy]

Can we just say, first of all, when you try to slip them in, they're like bites or popcorn. Popcorn.

[Justin McElroy]

They're nuggets. And it's a lineup of irresistible dipping sauces that's sure to challenge people's devotion to their typical favorites.

[Travis McElroy]

Oh, my God. They're gonna lead me astray.

[Griffin McElroy]

I'm listening.

[Travis McElroy]

They're gonna cause me to be a philanderer to my chicken nugget commitments.

[Justin McElroy]

If you're listening, Griffin, then let me let you hear this entirely distinct yet universally familiar, the tender, all white meat chicken bites are marinated in zesty jalapeno buttermilk flavor.

[Travis McElroy]

What?

[Justin McElroy]

That's weird. Let's talk about that.

[Griffin McElroy]

You don't have a spicy. This is spicy. It sounds like.

[Justin McElroy]

That's weird. But listen. The chicken bites are marinated in zesty jalapeno buttermilk flavor. That shouldn't be a flavor. No, it should be a jalapeno buttermilk. It shouldn't be the essence of jalapeno buttermilk.

[Travis McElroy]

Those also seem like two things that would cancel one another out. Right? Like if I ate jalapenos and I had a spicy mouth and then I drank some milk it would cool that down well, though.

[Justin McElroy]

What they've done, Travis, is they've also breaded with a blend of breadcrumbs and crunchy tortilla chips to deliver the ideal balance of flavor and crisp that take the everyday chicken nugget to the next level.

[Griffin McElroy]

I'm still here, man. I haven't run for the door. I'm still here, man.

[Travis McElroy]

But it is important to me to know if they're spicy because there is the word jalapeno in there.

[Justin McElroy]

And if I took a little spicy.

[Travis McElroy]

If I took my kids, this feels like a weird prank to pull on my children. Where I be like, you guys like chicken nuggets, right? Here you go.

[Justin McElroy]

What's a nugget without an epic sauce pairing? In its culinary journey to find the perfect complimentary sauce, Taco Bell tested over 100 sauces to curate not one, but three irresistible dip pairings. Introducing the exclusive new Hidden Valley Fire Ranch sauce, a brand new signature bell sauce, and a sweet and hot jalapeno honey mustard sauce.

[Griffin McElroy]

You're not giving me a lot of safe road to walk here. Talk about. I'm so interested. But you are. Like, now that we've hooked you, do you want to eat poison? Poison or poison for your.

[Justin McElroy]

The star of the trio, and which I don't think they should say this, but the star of the trio is the new Hidden Valley Fire Ranch sauce. A fiery twist, a Travis McElroy of sauces, a fiery twist on America's favorite ranch inspired by the passion of Taco Bell and Hidden Valley Ranch fans. More than just a sauce, it's a groundbreaking innovation that blends the iconic flavors fans love from both brands.

[Travis McElroy]

So words just don't mean anything anymore, huh?

[Griffin McElroy]

Hot and ranch are.

[Travis McElroy]

But you're throwing out groundbreaking innovation like it's like you just cured something or figured out how to reach the moon.

[Justin McElroy]

You ready? Taylor Montgomery is going to lay it out for you like this. Not to be for granted, but here's Taylor's read. As the inventors of nacho fries, Taco Bell is fully aware that reinventing an American classic with a Taco Bell twist is a responsibility we don't take lightly.

[Travis McElroy]

Wow.

[Justin McElroy]

But in a world dominated by chicken cravings, it was time to show the world how Taco Bell does chicken nuggets. Unexpected and undeniably bold, the crispy chicken nuggets deliver a crispier, more flavorful nugget experience. And combined with the Hidden Valley Fire Ranch sauce, we hope it will test people's devotion to their favorite nuggets.

[Travis McElroy]

I am moved by the passion and dedication shown in that. Like, that feels like a speech that, like, the president gives, like, climbing on top of the car to be like, the aliens are coming. And you know what? It's time for Taco Bell to get into the chicken nugget game. And I'm in it. I'm moved.

[Griffin McElroy]

But when McDonald's did bratwurst for a little while, and people would come in, it probably wasn't, like, super confusing, because the name of the restaurant isn't Burger Clown or Hamburger Clown.

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah.

[Griffin McElroy]

But when people go to Taco Bell, they're gonna be confused about this. Extremely not taco or even taco adjusted.

[Justin McElroy]

Griffin, this is where I am really getting hung up now. Because they sell the fries, and they sell the chicken nuggets, and they sell the pizza. I'm worried that they're starting to lose touch with their, like, authentic Mexican foods.

[Travis McElroy]

Oh, no.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah, man. I mean, yeah, for sure. You know, I think that there's a danger there.

[Justin McElroy]

For sure there is a danger of that.

[Travis McElroy]

Can I tell you what's tripping me up? And I have just realized, because it's been a long, long time since I've been to a Taco Bell or eaten Taco Bell.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Travis McElroy]

Why do you think that they have. Why just haven't. There's not one near me. Do you think that there's ketchup available at Taco Bell?

[Griffin McElroy]

Yes.

[Travis McElroy]

How confident are you in that?

[Griffin McElroy]

Are you confident, Griffin, that there's ketchup at Taco Bell? Let me check. Do they sell French fries?

[Travis McElroy]

They sell not French fries. Remind me again. Remind me.

[Griffin McElroy]

Remind me again. Do they sell French fried taters?

[Justin McElroy]

Nacho fries.

[Travis McElroy]

They have nacho fries.

[Griffin McElroy]

Okay, well, then they'll have the ketchup for them.

[Travis McElroy]

You seem very.

[Griffin McElroy]

Justin, you look like you're googling this, and I need you to confirm if you're googling this or not.

[Travis McElroy]

No, don't dox my address and tell me where the closest. Don't send me Taco Bell. I don't want any Taco Bell.

[Justin McElroy]

I'm just saying it's not that far, Trav. You can just, like, you could get there. I'm just demonstrating.

[Travis McElroy]

If it was next door. Justin, if I lived next to. If I lived inside of Taco Bell, I would go get some right now.

[Justin McElroy]

Now I'm at the Pizza Hut. I'm at the Travis house. I'm at the combination Taco Bell and Travis house.

[Griffin McElroy]

I'm trying to figure out if Taco Bell has ketchup.

[Justin McElroy]

Can we call when are you guys.

[Griffin McElroy]

Can we call timeout on the.

[Justin McElroy]

Yes.

[Griffin McElroy]

They have ketchup at Taco Bell. I see a picture of it now. Next to the mild sauce and the.

[Travis McElroy]

Fire sauce, there's ketchup. Say it with passion, Griffin.

[Justin McElroy]

There is ketchup at the Taco Bell. You can go to Taco Bell right now and get the nuggets. So let us know what you think.

[Travis McElroy]

I want to know how spicy they are. Like on a. If you're a child. Like, imagine a child is eating it. Right?

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Justin McElroy]

You can text Travis that.

[Travis McElroy]

No.

[Justin McElroy]

Okay, here, let's. One more question. Once a year, I do a Christmas show for some local theaters. We dress up as characters and deliver a little pre show. Before the movie White Christmas. We have someone who dresses as Santa, Mrs. Claus and cousin Eddie. I dress up as Yukon Cornelius, who's popular enough, but doesn't have the same depth as those other characters. I'm also not great at improv, and I also find myself letting my fellow actors carry the performance when unexpected things happen. How can I stand out of the crowd and deliver a memorable performance? Rules from Cornelius in sense.

[Griffin McElroy]

This is so good. Such a good question. Thank you. Thank you for this.

[Travis McElroy]

You are.

[Justin McElroy]

I would love to pretend to be Yukon Cornelius for an hour. I feel like improv wise, it wouldn't be funny, but I would have the time of.

[Griffin McElroy]

We need to establish who this is for the people who were not.

[Travis McElroy]

Oh, he loves silver and gold. From the ranking Bass movie. Rudolph. Yeah, Rudolph the red nosed.

[Justin McElroy]

Rent needs a prospector who says bumbles pouts.

[Travis McElroy]

That's very good, Justin. Here's the thing. One thing you gotta know about Uconn Cornelius. That's a haunted man. Because what we don't talk about a lot is there were 12 of them when they started out on this track to find Gault. He's the only one left. What has he been through? He falls off into a cliff with the bumble. What happens down there? We don't know. So while everyone else is improving their scene, I want you to have just a dark backstory and have him stare off an empty eyed.

[Griffin McElroy]

It sounds like you're doing that already, which is great.

[Justin McElroy]

I just want to be Trav. I hate to challenge what you're saying, but I did watch the film recently, and we do know what Ukraine Cornelius did once. The bumble. And he fell off.

[Travis McElroy]

Oh, that's right. Yes.

[Justin McElroy]

What did he do?

[Travis McElroy]

He pulled his teeth out, Justin.

[Justin McElroy]

He pulled his teeth out. Kids, Yukon Cornelius removed the bumble's one method of feeding Himself really broke his spirit, too. And then. And then, get this. Yukon Cornelius is like, you're never gonna believe it, but bumbles are really easy to get along with. And they want to help us, I bet. Yeah.

[Griffin McElroy]

When you mutilate.

[Travis McElroy]

It's a shame I didn't find that out before I pulled all his teeth out.

[Justin McElroy]

I still have my nails. I don't want you to pull too, Yukon.

[Travis McElroy]

All of his teeth were flat like a cow's. He's a.

[Justin McElroy]

It turns out he's a believer. He said, I only eat carrots. And then he said, I'm a real carrot.

[Travis McElroy]

You couldn't understand him anymore anyways. Watch him put the star on the tree. He got in my way. Now mushroom is food real good for him.

[Griffin McElroy]

He got my way while I was.

[Travis McElroy]

Trying to accumulate wealth.

[Griffin McElroy]

I'm the good guy.

[Justin McElroy]

Wait, hold on. You got. Cornelius removed all of Bumble's teeth.

[Travis McElroy]

Wait.

[Justin McElroy]

I can't believe he would do that when he knows the only dentist on the planet. Yeah, that's the other thing that's twisted about Yukon. He knows the one person that invented the idea of pulling teeth out. And this guy doesn't even go to the one thing he knows.

[Travis McElroy]

I want to see the deleted scene. Where after all that's done, Hermes like, Yukon, can I talk to you over here for a minute? Hey, man, what's that about, like, you know, I'm trying to set up a business here. Trying to establish myself. You couldn't float me some business my way? You couldn't be like, hey, Hermey, show them how good you are. Pull your teeth out. You trying to step to my territory, man? Pull your own teeth out. Hermey. Come on, man. He's a great dentist. What are you doing? Do you see me out there trying to mine up silver and gold? No, I recognize that. That's your thing. This is my thing. Come on, man. Show some respect.

[Justin McElroy]

Yeah, so anyway, this is all really good stuff. Just use these jokes. It's no problem.

[Griffin McElroy]

Just between every sentence, just go bump, bull it. Shut up and point it back in theater. Sorry, I thought I saw a bumble.

[Travis McElroy]

Sorry, I thought, oh, when it gets dark and cold out there and you gotta eat your fellow mice. Sorry, what were you saying, Cousin Eddie?

[Griffin McElroy]

I said to sleep within a bumble carcass once.

[Travis McElroy]

You thought they smelled bad on the outside. They smell wonderful on the inside. I love doing it. I do it when I don't need to. I'm setting up an air and being bee inside a bumble. One of the bees Is for Bumble.

[Justin McElroy]

Okay, guys, listen. Thanks for listening. Thanks for supporting us. Thanks for one more plug.

[Travis McElroy]

Why I've orphaned so many bowls.

[Griffin McElroy]

The Candle Nights plug is important.

[Justin McElroy]

Bit ly candlelightstickets 2024. Please go do that. If you haven't done it, you can watch it until, I don't know, first.

[Travis McElroy]

Week of January, January 4th.

[Griffin McElroy]

Bit of a. Bit of a slower year on ticket sales and Harmony House genuinely really could use some. Some help funds wise. So.

[Justin McElroy]

So even if you already streamed, you want to hop back in there and kick in a few more bucks. That would be killer.

[Travis McElroy]

Or if you had a great time and you have friends who you know would love it, tell them about it. Share the link with people. Make sure they check it out. It's a great cause and a great show. Make sure to share it with folks. Also want to let you know, Champions Grove 2025 packages are on sale now. That's the immersive gaming event that I did last year. Doing it again this year, Ravenwood Castle in Hocking Hills, Ohio.

[Justin McElroy]

You don't sleep on it. It's really fun.

[Travis McElroy]

Thank you. You can go to championsgrove.com for all the information and get your packages there to come and hang out with us May 23rd through the 26th. It's gonna be a great time. Also, we got merch. If you haven't checked it out, mcelroymerch.com including some candlelights merch over there. 10% of merch sales this month are also gonna go to Harmony House. So make sure you check that out. Get your funglore merch before the season ends. We've also got a Miggy merch bundle over there with a mug and a sticker for $25. So go check it out.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yep.

[Travis McElroy]

Oh, we should also say reminder, there's not gonna be any new episodes the 24th through the 30th for any of our shows. Yeah. So no my brother, my brother and me next week, no McElroy shows. But we'll be back in the new year.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah. So this is our last wish of the year for Fungalore.

[Justin McElroy]

Wow.

[Travis McElroy]

Oh, yeah. I should have remembered to pull it.

[Griffin McElroy]

Wow, you really didn't, did you? I wish. I wish.

[Travis McElroy]

This is from Griffin.

[Griffin McElroy]

I wish I. You know what I wish for Fungalore to get Fungalore's wishes heard.

[Justin McElroy]

Wow.

[Travis McElroy]

No, actually, Griffin, that would cause a feedback loop.

[Griffin McElroy]

I set him free. Fungalore, we're listening to your wish now. That's what you don't know about. 20Fungalores is in 20Fungalive. He is gonna actually need something from you this time.

[Justin McElroy]

Wow.

[Griffin McElroy]

And saying that sentence out loud, I just realized I am gonna be pushing for 20 fungalive and that's.

[Travis McElroy]

Oh, wow. Okay.

[Justin McElroy]

Well, that'll be a stirring way to return. My name is Justin McElroy.

[Travis McElroy]

I'm Travis McElroy.

[Griffin McElroy]

I'm Chris.

[Travis McElroy]

What a cliffhanger this has been.

[Justin McElroy]

My brother. My brother may kiss your dad square on the lips.

[Travis McElroy]

Is that with you? My life? It's better, it's better with you it's better My life, it's better, it's better with you. Is it true? It's better, it's better with you, my life.

[Justin McElroy]

Maximum Fun A worker owned network of.

[Griffin McElroy]

Artist owned shows supported directly by.