MBMBaM 747: How You 'Dune, a Friends-Fremen Podcast

Summary

Podcast Title: My Brother, My Brother And Me
Episode: MBMBaM 747: How You 'Dune, a Friends-Fremen Podcast
Release Date: January 27, 2025
Hosts: Justin, Travis, and Griffin McElroy

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Introduction

In MBMBaM 747: How You 'Dune, a Friends-Fremen Podcast, the McElroy brothers navigate a blend of improvisational humor and heartfelt advice segments. While the episode begins with their signature playful banter and a lively skit involving a "nasty sky man," the core of the episode centers on addressing listener questions with their unique blend of wit and sincerity.

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Listener Questions and Advice

1. Caring for a Tamagotchi as an Adult

Timestamp: [09:14] - [14:30]

Question:
Justin shares his dilemma about maintaining his Tamagotchi—a nostalgic digital pet—from the "Pixel Parent in Kentucky." As a nearly 30-year-old juggling a full-time job and daily errands, he seeks strategies to care for his Tamagotchi without appearing childish in public.

Discussion:
The brothers delve into the challenges of maintaining virtual pets in adult life. Griffin proposes the idea of evolving these pets into more interactive forms, such as "GigaPets" that can battle and interact, making them more appealing and socially acceptable. Travis suggests integrating these pets into daily routines subtly, while Justin emphasizes the importance of authenticity and finding joy in one’s unique interests.

Notable Quotes:

• Justin [09:14]: "I've been keeping it on my person so I can take care of it and not let it die."
• Griffin [11:32]: "We need to normalize virtual pets. It's time for these things to be on everyone's person all the time."
• Travis [12:30]: "If you could live authentically with your Tamagotchi, everyone will just look at you with, 'I wish I had that joy.'"

2. Complimenting a Welding Project

Timestamp: [22:06] - [26:28]

Question:
Justin seeks advice from "Metal man in Montreal" on how to genuinely compliment his in-law’s welding work, acknowledging his lack of expertise in metalworking.

Discussion:
The brothers explore various ways to appreciate craftsmanship without specific technical knowledge. Travis humorously suggests puns like "weld done," while Griffin points out the importance of recognizing the effort and skill involved. Justin shares his own experience with welding, emphasizing the sensory aspects like the smell, which can also be a point of genuine appreciation.

Notable Quotes:

• Travis [22:34]: "You know, weld done."
• Griffin [22:37]: "Clean seams."
• Justin [22:50]: "It's so dangerous because they give you a special mask that when it turns on, you can't see shit."

3. Secret Exercises While Standing on Shifts

Timestamp: [34:00] - [39:24]

Question:
Justin receives a query from "COVID Cardio in Cleveland" about incorporating discreet exercises during long standing shifts at his new warehouse job to fulfill his New Year's resolution of getting fit.

Discussion:
The brothers brainstorm low-profile exercises that can be performed without drawing attention. Griffin suggests "vibro sizing," involving subtle body vibrations, while Travis recommends leveraging body movements like Kegels or leaning against walls with partners to build muscle strength. They balance practicality with humor, offering creative yet feasible solutions for staying active in a predominantly stationary work environment.

Notable Quotes:

• Griffin [34:30]: "It would be imperceptible, just shifting your body slightly."
• Travis [35:08]: "Here's how you do it. Find a wall, press your back against it, and go into like you're sitting down."
• Justin [36:03]: "Start with the shoes. You can't have improvements in your health if you're undone by muscle strain."

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Thematic Discussions

Embracing Authenticity

Throughout the episode, the McElroys emphasize the importance of living authentically and pursuing personal joys, regardless of societal expectations. Whether it's maintaining a Tamagotchi or finding unique ways to stay fit, authenticity is portrayed as a pathway to genuine happiness and personal fulfillment.

Notable Quote:

• Griffin [14:20]: "Live authentically and enjoy your dream."

Humor in Everyday Challenges

The brothers seamlessly weave humor into their advice, making the content engaging and relatable. Their playful interactions, such as imagining virtual pets battling or the exaggerated depiction of Arby's menu changes, highlight their ability to find laughter in mundane situations.

Notable Quote:

• Travis [34:37]: "You can press your back against the wall and pretend you're sitting. It's like a core workout without anyone noticing."

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Conclusion

MBMBaM 747: How You 'Dune, a Friends-Fremen Podcast epitomizes the McElroy brothers' knack for blending humor with meaningful advice. By addressing listener questions with creativity and sincerity, they offer valuable insights while keeping the mood light and entertaining. The episode reinforces themes of authenticity and finding joy in personal quirks, all delivered with the brothers' characteristic charm.

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Notable Quotes by Timestamp

• Travis [09:14]: "Is there a way to care for my little plastic egg toy in public without looking like a large child?"
• Griffin [11:32]: "We need to normalize virtual pets. It's time for these things to be on everyone's person all the time."
• Justin [22:31]: "How do you compliment someone's welding? That's from Metal man in Montreal."
• Travis [35:08]: "Here's how you do it. Find a wall, press your back against it, and go into like you're sitting down."
• Griffin [14:20]: "Live authentically and enjoy your dream."

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This comprehensive summary captures the essence of MBMBaM 747 by highlighting the key discussions, insights, and memorable quotes from the McElroy brothers. Whether navigating virtual pet care, appreciating craftsmanship, or staying active during work shifts, the episode offers a blend of humor and practical advice that resonates with listeners.

Transcript

[Travis McElroy]

The McElroy brothers are not experts and their advice should never be followed. Travis insists he's a sexpert, but if there's a degree on his wall, I haven't seen it. Also, this show isn't for kids, which I mention only so the babies out there will know how cool they are for listening. What's up, you cool baby?

[Musical Guest]

It's the start of something beautiful A small acquaintance has blossomed it's ripened into a precious friends I could have never seen what was coming for me Hangs at the skate park Hangs by the beach My life, it feels like it's better it's better with you My life, it's better it's better with you this is who you are it's better it's better with two it's better with you.

[Justin McElroy]

Hello and welcome to My Brother, My Brother and Me and Advice show for the modern era. I'm your oldest brother, Justin McElroy.

[Travis McElroy]

Vroom, vroom. What's up, Trav nation? I'm your middlest brother, Travis. Big dog. Woof woof. McElroy, if you look out your left window, you'll see my babiest brother, Griffin McElroy.

[Justin McElroy]

Hello.

[Griffin McElroy]

I'm not on the plane, I guess.

[Travis McElroy]

No, he's on the wing. We're trying to shake him off. And so fasten your seatbelts.

[Griffin McElroy]

I'm a nasty sky man.

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah.

[Griffin McElroy]

I'm gonna get this plane.

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah. Everybody try to. I don't know why I drew attention to it, actually. Try to ignore the nasty sky man who's chewing on the wing.

[Griffin McElroy]

I hope no one. Excuse me.

[Justin McElroy]

Excuse me. Attend. Flight attendant, may I have your attention over here, please?

[Travis McElroy]

Yes, sir. How can I.

[Justin McElroy]

There's a nasty sky man on the wing and my wife and I paid for it.

[Griffin McElroy]

I'm gonna get this place.

[Travis McElroy]

The pilot did say to try to ignore the nasty sky man out there. Can I offer you some warm nuts?

[Justin McElroy]

I'm trying to enjoy the latest Alex Foley mystery. And this young man on the wing chewing on the window.

[Travis McElroy]

We're sure that he won't be able to get through. Don't worry about it. The 747 is a very secure, safe airplane.

[Griffin McElroy]

I bet I eat plane wires for food.

[Travis McElroy]

He says that every time. We've never seen him do it. He does bite the wires, but I don't think he digests them.

[Griffin McElroy]

Can I smell the luggage? I don't know what else a nasty plane man would listen in. That skit we just sort of cooked up live improv style, which is fun. I Feel like, Travis, you put me outside of the scene and cast me as the nasty sky man without a second thought.

[Travis McElroy]

That's called a gift. That's called giving your partner a gift.

[Griffin McElroy]

I don't feel like it was a gift. I felt like it was a challenge, but it was also sort of an exclusionary one. There's a lot of.

[Travis McElroy]

I thought of you as, like, the Grand Canyon, and then you chose to be on the wing of the plane, I guess.

[Griffin McElroy]

Right. But even if I was the Grand Canyon, I wouldn't be, like, an active participant in the scene. So just like, I've never done improv, but I don't think at any point, one of them can be like, and you're a tree so that you can't get to play in those same.

[Justin McElroy]

Before you could say you've done improv.

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah, a little bit here, a little bit there.

[Justin McElroy]

These podcasts will you have to do.

[Travis McElroy]

I think it all adds up to one improv.

[Justin McElroy]

At some point, you've improvised, you've improv.

[Travis McElroy]

We've done 747 episodes. I think by this point, you can say I've dabbled at least.

[Griffin McElroy]

That's why we're doing airplane stuff, by the way. We have to figure it out again.

[Justin McElroy]

In 10 episodes, because 757, that's a plane. Two, that's another plane.

[Griffin McElroy]

All the plane models.

[Justin McElroy]

Yeah, yeah, they're all the planes.

[Travis McElroy]

I, you know, have they worked through. Were there 626s at some point? Where five. 25.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Justin McElroy]

Cessnas. Listen, I don't remember a time in school when the path of pilot was open to me. Sure. I mean, I know people did end up as pilots, but I. In my life, no one at any point was like this way to that career path.

[Travis McElroy]

Do you think that that was.

[Justin McElroy]

Everyone read me instantly and was like, whatever room the potential pilots are in, we don't need Justin in that room.

[Travis McElroy]

There's a deal. I remember when I was taking, like, Life Skills, which I think was the rebranding of Home ec, and I absolutely knocked my cross stitch project out of the park. And my teacher was like, hey, pretty good cross stitch of a wolf in front of a moon. You'd make a great pilot. And I said, no, thank you. I'm gonna be a piecaster. And I think that's what I noticed it.

[Griffin McElroy]

I've never. I've never looked at a kid and thought, I want to be on a plane there driving, really. Because they can't reach all the stuff, all the buttons and toggles.

[Travis McElroy]

And I think that about your son Henry. I can't believe you don't.

[Griffin McElroy]

You'd let Henry fly a plane with you in it?

[Travis McElroy]

Not now. But I'm saying I see within Henry an uncut john.

[Griffin McElroy]

A pilot's spirit. A pilot's heart.

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah, he has the heart of a pilot. You don't see that.

[Justin McElroy]

Maybe they didn't see that in me. They looked at my heart and found it lacking.

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah, you have the heart of a podcaster. I'm sorry.

[Justin McElroy]

I look like the kind of guy that would fly into a bunch of birds and just flip the fuck out. Like, no.

[Griffin McElroy]

Oh, my God. Can you imagine one bird?

[Justin McElroy]

I'm done.

[Griffin McElroy]

One. Not even a flock. If any of us were flying over the Hudson and we sucked in a single small, sick goose in our engine.

[Travis McElroy]

I would just take the yoke and.

[Griffin McElroy]

Push it straight down and be like, sorry, everyone. I think they got us.

[Travis McElroy]

If I was a commercial pilot, I think I would get called into whatever my boss's office, and they'd be like, hey, you need to stop asking the control towers and radar people if they see any birds on the flight path. Like, no, I don't think radar can even pick up birds. But you ask every five minutes.

[Justin McElroy]

Here's a quick impression of me in a pilot career path. You guys can. Who did a skit with me last time? Okay. This time, Travis, in this skit, you are the control tower control.

[Griffin McElroy]

Like, the actual building. Cause that's basically what Travis did to me last time.

[Travis McElroy]

Or like, a John Cusack, but he's.

[Justin McElroy]

Getting good at it.

[Travis McElroy]

Pushing 10. Pushing 10.

[Justin McElroy]

Yeah, push the 10. Control tower, this is Justin McElroy. Come in.

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah, it's me, John Cusack. Can I help you?

[Justin McElroy]

Hey, John. Yes, I'm getting very bored and I don't want to anymore do this. I don't want to do this anymore. And the other guy said he won't take over again because he's already done it four times. So I could use the bathroom. And I don't want to do it anymore. So I would like to.

[Griffin McElroy]

I'm the guy with the batons. I'm outside. I can't hear anything.

[Justin McElroy]

You can get down. So can I get down, please?

[Travis McElroy]

No. Like, you want to stop.

[Justin McElroy]

I want to get down. I want to get down. I don't want to do it anymore.

[Travis McElroy]

God dang.

[Griffin McElroy]

This baton's around.

[Justin McElroy]

I want to run around.

[Travis McElroy]

Like you're asking to land.

[Justin McElroy]

Land or not land? I need to go run around. I need to, like, take a lap. And the other guy said he Won't fly again.

[Travis McElroy]

Okay? You just need to go back.

[Justin McElroy]

I got the zoomies.

[Travis McElroy]

You got to go back to the passengers and see if any of them has the heart of a pilot.

[Justin McElroy]

What if your pilot past you and just like, you heard him mumble, like, got the zoomies trying to walk it off.

[Travis McElroy]

He's stopping by everybody like, hey, what are you watching? What's it. Can I. Hey, give me one of the earbuds.

[Justin McElroy]

You want to fly?

[Travis McElroy]

I need snacks. What? I'm the pilot and I need snacks.

[Griffin McElroy]

Snacks on this plane suck. They always suck.

[Travis McElroy]

Did anybody bring anybody, like, chocolate covered almonds or.

[Justin McElroy]

I've been looking for some sweet. I'm going to have a lot of salty.

[Travis McElroy]

And we got M&M's.

[Griffin McElroy]

I told the Delta they gotta get little Airheads bites. I love those things. Get Airheads bites for the suite. They don't listen.

[Travis McElroy]

Hey, do you guys remember when we used to smoke on planes? Get up there and fly? No, I'm just saying, like, there was a time when it was like, steak dinners and why can't we vape?

[Griffin McElroy]

It doesn't make anything.

[Travis McElroy]

I can catch you in the room. And I was like, I wanna do that. And then I get here and they're like, you have to stay in the chair the whole time and there's no lounge or what?

[Griffin McElroy]

They should make a Catch Me if youf can too. And instead of it being about a guy doing a bunch of cons, it's a guy who gets really good at secretly vaping in places where he's not supposed to. And it could still have Tom Hanks in it. Like, it's called Catch Me if you Care. How did you vape on It's a Small World in Disney World?

[Travis McElroy]

And he just pulls out like a toilet paper tube stuffed with dryer sheets. And he's like, I knew it.

[Justin McElroy]

And then you hear, justin, I love your podcast. It's like, thank you very much. I don't have time to talk right now.

[Travis McElroy]

I'm going to prison. I guess this isn't a good moment. I'm being trespassed.

[Justin McElroy]

This is an advice show. Okay. Still. My youngest sibling got me a Tamagotchi for kayan. It's the 2024 re release, the version I had as a kid, which I was obsessed with back then. It's as fun and cute as I remember. And I've been. Is it as fun as you remember? Okay.

[Travis McElroy]

It's as all consuming as I remember.

[Justin McElroy]

I've been keeping it on my person so I can take care of it and not let it die. However, I'm a nearly 30 year old man who has a full time job and rides the bus in grocery shops and stuff. And inevitably sometimes the little guy gets hungry and beefs while I'm out doing errands around other adults. Is there a way to care for my little plastic egg toy in public without looking like a large child? And that's from Pixel Parent in Kentucky.

[Travis McElroy]

I got Bebe a Tamagotchi for Christmas because she asked about them and was interested.

[Griffin McElroy]

Is it one of the new dope all color ones or is it like the re release? The re Release Tiger Electronics 1.

[Travis McElroy]

I want her to experience the retro throwback. And then as she was unboxing it, she was asking me and Theresa about it. And Theresa started describing like, well, you can't turn it off, right? Like if you stop paying attention to it, it will die and you have to. And BB instantly was like, I don't want that. What? And had like a full blown anxiety like no. And hand it up to me. And she was like, figure out how to turn it off. And all I can think is this same child has been asking me for a hamster for so long.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah, yeah.

[Travis McElroy]

To be her own. And I was like, I don't know, like you've just. You've just. This is the moment where like the lawyer asks the defendant a question and they just blow the whole thing wide open.

[Justin McElroy]

Yeah. It's also that kid, that classic kid reaction. Like I don't want the pressure of thinking this might die. So kill it in front of me while I watch. I want to watch you do it.

[Travis McElroy]

Take the battery out. Well, what do you think that does?

[Griffin McElroy]

We need. It's time to normalize virtual pets. It's time for these things to being on everyone's person all the time. I'm thinking more of a gigapet's direction because giga pets, you could make them fight. And that's really what I wanted. That's really what I wanted is to make it is to prove that I can raise the strongest pet.

[Travis McElroy]

That's so interesting, Griffin, because what you've just blown open for me is that Tamagotchis are seen as so childish and yet Pokemon Go swept the world.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Travis McElroy]

And it's like, yeah. How is that that different? Just give me.

[Griffin McElroy]

Except they fight a little guy. Just give me a little guy that I have put him in my watch. My little guy in my watch that I get to do to boop up whenever I want.

[Justin McElroy]

What would all human interaction be like every uncomfortable conversation you've ever had, if you could just be like, hey, quick battle. Yeah, I'm gonna knock out a quick battle.

[Griffin McElroy]

So choice. I see you're also a fire type.

[Justin McElroy]

You wouldn't. Yeah, and it's like, would you like a quick battle? Like, I mean, everybody.

[Griffin McElroy]

Like, even old people who you government mandated whack.

[Justin McElroy]

Like whack. Like old whack people. Even them have them.

[Travis McElroy]

You know what I mean?

[Justin McElroy]

Like, even your Nani. My Nani's not whack, but, like, you get the idea.

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah, she's old. All have them.

[Justin McElroy]

Quick battle. No problem.

[Griffin McElroy]

That's so great.

[Travis McElroy]

If we could figure out a way to connect like Pokemon or Tamagotchi or Giga Peter to like mining crypto billion dollars.

[Griffin McElroy]

Now you're. Now you're putting the douche chills in me trash.

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah. Oh, I actually think that's what Logan Paul was trying to do with Zoocoin. Actually, now that I say it out.

[Griffin McElroy]

Loud, put the shiver in me, trash.

[Travis McElroy]

I think I've reverse engineered the zoocoin scam.

[Griffin McElroy]

That's a shame that you did that.

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah, no, I said it and then I hated it.

[Griffin McElroy]

Let's go back to the other thing.

[Travis McElroy]

Where you could ignore the thing that I said where I created.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Justin McElroy]

I'll say this. If you can live authentically on your Tamagotchi, all you're gonna garner is envy. Because if I saw someone on a bus and I didn't have anything to play with and they had a Tamagotchi, I would think looks pretty funny. I might even get a little closer, like, look over their shoulder, like, wish I had that. And if you are a person in the world that is bringing you joy, no matter what that object is, everyone else will just look at you with, I wish I had that joy.

[Travis McElroy]

One of the people in the cast of 20 sided tavern had a Tamagotchi that she was taking care. I love that. And my. Every time it would beep or something. Like, the first time I was around when it beeped, she kind of apologized and I was like, no, man. It seems really grounding and really mindfulness.

[Justin McElroy]

I'd rather have a friend that gives me Tamagotchi updates than a friend that feels the need to bring me every uber distressing headline they strove across. Like some sort of like, wild cat bringing me terrifying dead birds when I least expect it. No, thank you. Just go ahead and give your egg some milk or whatever.

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah, I love it.

[Griffin McElroy]

I think they could come in different form factors. We're done talking about this question, so sorry. I know that you probably wanted like, concrete advice. Instead, the three of us are just kind of.

[Justin McElroy]

That's the advice. Just live authentically and enjoy your dream.

[Griffin McElroy]

Live authentically and live your dream. Now, as for this mandatory Tamagotchi that everyone's gonna have, I think different.

[Justin McElroy]

Mandagachi.

[Griffin McElroy]

Mandagachi is really, really cool.

[Travis McElroy]

Gotta gotcha.

[Griffin McElroy]

Gotta gotcha. Yeah, Maybe they can look like a little. Like a beeper. Cause then if you see someone with a little beeper sized thing here and it beeps and they do stuff with it, I'm not gonna ask you about that. That could be a health related thing that I don't even know.

[Travis McElroy]

That's one of those where the screen slides up to reveal a keyboard. When I see those in old shows now, or somebody has a phone that flips out and they slide it up, it's like, I actually regret that we moved away from that. That looks so cool when someone does that.

[Griffin McElroy]

That is pretty cool. I don't know that I love it for this, Trav. And I'll tell you why. I like I want a little guy. I like, I want a little guy. And I don't want to have. I don't want to have Internet access. I don't want to do other stuff on my phone.

[Travis McElroy]

I'm messages to your little guy.

[Griffin McElroy]

I would prefer to talk to him, I guess.

[Travis McElroy]

Oh, it's got voice. It's voice enabled.

[Justin McElroy]

Thank you. I'll neural net with my little guy.

[Travis McElroy]

Okay. Thank you.

[Griffin McElroy]

I may not actually need to talk to my little guy, now that I think about it. I might just want to be take care of my little.

[Justin McElroy]

What if he gets lonely?

[Griffin McElroy]

I would press the button to make like a stuffed animal appear for you.

[Travis McElroy]

What if you get lonely? It would press the button to make a stuffed animal appear for you, I think. What if we had it as just a chip implanted at birth and it grew with you, but it was like your little avatar. Right. That grew with you and you had to take care of. But then they were also reminding you, like, stay hydrated and get enough exercise and eat your vegetables.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Travis McElroy]

So like they're your little like Jiminy Cricket with you all the time.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah. Like a conscience.

[Travis McElroy]

Like a conscience. Finally.

[Justin McElroy]

But finally they could battle.

[Travis McElroy]

But they could battle.

[Griffin McElroy]

They can battle.

[Travis McElroy]

They can battle.

[Griffin McElroy]

So that would be cool if Pinocchio rolled up on some other boy and was like, oh, you think you're. Oh, what'd you say? Talk shit about my nose. Did you say some Shit about my dad's accent. It's time to throw down. Yeah.

[Travis McElroy]

Get em, Jiminy.

[Griffin McElroy]

Go, Jiminy.

[Travis McElroy]

I choose you.

[Justin McElroy]

Here's guilt trip. My cricket has blades on his arm.

[Griffin McElroy]

Awesome.

[Justin McElroy]

My Cricket. My cricket has cyber blades.

[Travis McElroy]

For what? If Jiminy Cricket was just a Scyther?

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah, that would be so cool. If Jiminy Cricket was a Scyther, that'd be great.

[Justin McElroy]

Hey, here's another question. Every year in my hometown in Florida, they throw the annual SOP Choppy Worm Grunting Festival. The Glisters who don't know what worm grunting is.

[Travis McElroy]

Read a book.

[Justin McElroy]

More's the pity. Basically, you take two sticks, rub them together, and magically make worms crawl out of the ground. This year they're accepting submissions from local artists to design their T shirts and merch. This is great for me since I'm an artist by trade. However, I'm having some trouble finding inspiration for the design. Previous years they've had worms dressed as burlesque dancers, worms playing the banjo, and worms in cowboy hats riding crabs. Brothers. How do I compete with that? What would you like to see on these shirts? Happy grunting. Wondering in Wakula.

[Travis McElroy]

I'm not usually wild about the like. Make jokes for me.

[Griffin McElroy]

Make a joke for me. Yeah, but this is so strong. SOP Choppy Worm Grunting is three powerful. SOP Choppy Worm Grunting is. It sounds like an incantation. It sounds really, really ethereal and special.

[Travis McElroy]

What about just like a real close up picture of a worm's face and it's like really intense and it's just going real close up. Like Rin and Stimpy when they used to do like the close up look at their face and it was all grotesque and they're just.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah, that's cool. That would be good.

[Travis McElroy]

Or a worm giving birth to Sonic and they're grunting.

[Griffin McElroy]

I could tell how you feel about the joke you made, Travis by the sort of paralysis, the facial paralysis that followed it. It was really great. Travis in that moment was making some. Was really cheesing trying to get something out of Justin and I because if we didn't laugh at what he just said, it would be a great betrayal of him in front of the Pokemon.

[Justin McElroy]

And I am sorry for it. It seemed the right choice at the moment. Now I feel kind of guilty for leaving you out to have.

[Travis McElroy]

Do you want me to say it again?

[Griffin McElroy]

I absolutely do not want you to say it.

[Justin McElroy]

This really works. You really. It's called worm charming. And because of the vibrations in the ground, it makes the Worms come up. They did studies animals.

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah, they did it in Dune.

[Justin McElroy]

Get this worm. No, listen. Birds do it. That's.

[Travis McElroy]

Bees do it. Even little fleas do it. Everybody's grunting out here for worms.

[Justin McElroy]

The birds go on the ground, and they start stomping around, and the worm's like, what in the hell is happening? And then they go out and get eaten. That's messed up, okay?

[Travis McElroy]

But a first bird had to do that at some point in nature history where all the other birds are just looking like, what's Stan doing? And he's just standing on the ground, stomping his feet, and they're like, this crazy guy. What's he doing? And then some worms start coming up, and even Stan is blown away. He's like, I didn't think that would work. I just stomped. A bunch of words came up.

[Griffin McElroy]

This is gonna be a great idea that I'm about to say, so brace your asses. Your design should be a worm riding on the back of a bigger worm, like a dune guy did.

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah, I was gonna say a dune one thing too. So what is.

[Justin McElroy]

Just ask. I want to ask one thing.

[Griffin McElroy]

Okay.

[Justin McElroy]

Is it. How is it on top of it? Is it, like, legs?

[Griffin McElroy]

Did you see Dune 2?

[Justin McElroy]

No, I did. I did. I did. Is it just, like, squatted on top.

[Griffin McElroy]

In Dune 2, he rides it like he's doing a trick on a. Like a jet ski.

[Travis McElroy]

Like he's, like, standing. Right?

[Griffin McElroy]

Standing. And he's got rain.

[Travis McElroy]

And if the worm could be in a Fremen suit. Yeah, I think that'll sell it.

[Griffin McElroy]

Damn, that scene is so cool.

[Justin McElroy]

You know what I was sitting here thinking? Do you know how cool that has to be to watch it and not think? Like, I'm gonna make a joke about this on a podcast, but instead think like, man, I wish I was up there with him.

[Griffin McElroy]

Can you imagine being Timmy on that day? Timmy Chimney and knowing Timmy Chimmy. Being Timmy Chimmy and knowing that that was the day you get to do the worm scene.

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah.

[Griffin McElroy]

I bet he was stoked out of his goddamn gore.

[Justin McElroy]

Do you think they got to end that day? And he was like, I don't think we got it.

[Travis McElroy]

I don't think we got it.

[Justin McElroy]

I want to try again.

[Griffin McElroy]

Try again, please.

[Travis McElroy]

Maybe. I think the lighting was.

[Griffin McElroy]

Do you think Timmy Chimney got to keep, like, the apparatus got to keep.

[Travis McElroy]

The worm got to.

[Griffin McElroy]

Well, not. They obviously didn't have a whole worm, but definitely. They definitely had part of the worm's lumpy back. And I think he.

[Travis McElroy]

Well, it's Not a real worm, I assume. They built, like, when they did, like, Jurassic park, they built a large, like, kind of animatronic worm for him.

[Griffin McElroy]

There's so much good Dunes. There's so much worm stuff in Dune. You'd be crazy not to use some of this shit in your design.

[Justin McElroy]

Dang, I wish we could watch Dune.

[Griffin McElroy]

Damn, I'd watch Dune right now.

[Travis McElroy]

Can we cancel the rest?

[Justin McElroy]

I'd watch Dune on the podcast. That'd be cool.

[Griffin McElroy]

That would be so sick.

[Travis McElroy]

I wish I had a third monitor to have Dune on in the background.

[Justin McElroy]

If I had Dune right here. Maybe I do.

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah.

[Justin McElroy]

Maybe I Dune.

[Travis McElroy]

Oh, no.

[Justin McElroy]

Hey.

[Travis McElroy]

Hey, guys.

[Justin McElroy]

Hey, guys. How you doin?

[Griffin McElroy]

How you doin? Is.

[Travis McElroy]

That's good.

[Griffin McElroy]

Our new podcast, do the Dune.

[Justin McElroy]

How you doin?

[Griffin McElroy]

How you doin'do?

[Travis McElroy]

The Dune.

[Griffin McElroy]

It's a friends, friends dune, so I don't think you need any other ideas. It feels like you didn't give me.

[Justin McElroy]

I have a picture of a human being on a hook, and it's like the hook is going through the human's.

[Travis McElroy]

Belly, and they're like, is a worm holding it? Is a worm evolved?

[Justin McElroy]

And then a worm has a fishing hat, and you see the worm, like, holding the pole.

[Griffin McElroy]

That's cool. That's like a protest design. That's like a protest political concept.

[Travis McElroy]

Everybody in the picture is, the human's loving it.

[Justin McElroy]

The human's loving it. Like, I was wrong. This is good.

[Griffin McElroy]

In my version, the human wouldn't be loving it.

[Travis McElroy]

There are people who get suspended from hooks for fun and pleasure.

[Justin McElroy]

Yep. Listen, my in law is a welder and loves showing me his work. He is so kind and so excited, and I want to give him the same energy back, but I know nothing about welding. How do you compliment someone's welding? That's from Metal man in Montreal.

[Travis McElroy]

Now, the obvious answer is to say, weld done.

[Griffin McElroy]

You know, weld un. Yeah, they love that shit.

[Travis McElroy]

They love that. Clean seams, Clean seams.

[Justin McElroy]

Clean seams.

[Travis McElroy]

Don't say seamless. Cause there is a seam there. That's part of it.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah. If it was seamless, that's a shitty weld, actually.

[Travis McElroy]

Tight, tight circles.

[Justin McElroy]

Here's what I'll say. I welded in college, right? The things I remember most. God, it stinks.

[Griffin McElroy]

Oh, does it?

[Justin McElroy]

It smells so bad. And anything you wear while welding is gonna stink forever.

[Griffin McElroy]

Oh, that's a shame. What do you think's making that?

[Justin McElroy]

I mean, if you like the smell, I guess, but it's like. It's like it stinks to weld.

[Travis McElroy]

It also Is wicked dangerous. So dangerous because, like, they give you a special mask that when it turns on, you can't see shit. So they've given you a powerful, like, lightning gun and then said, hey, make sure you're in position when this starts. Because otherwise you can't see what the fuck you're doing.

[Justin McElroy]

It's so my approach to life is so different from other people's because if someone was like, go off. Hey, Justin, let me show you my welding. I'm instantly, like, right now. Let's go. Show me how to do this.

[Griffin McElroy]

Drop it.

[Justin McElroy]

I want to take. Let's go out to the welding place. I got to weld right now. I know you have the welding shit. Like, don't hold out and don't be like, it's too dangerous, Justin. You know, yada, yada, yada. Just let me play with the thing, please. Thank you.

[Travis McElroy]

And I'll just stick pieces of metal randomly together. I'm not trying to do anything purposeful.

[Justin McElroy]

Exactly. Travis. I don't want to mess up whatever you're doing. I just want to be like. You know what I mean? Like, just glue a bunch of metal together for a bit. For just a second.

[Griffin McElroy]

I feel that I'm gonna say blanket statement that applies to any of the means of production. If you have seized any of the means of production and have access to them in your home. Yeah, I'd like to see how that works. How that works.

[Travis McElroy]

Pottery, glassblowing, anything even I have the power to attack. You have a loom.

[Griffin McElroy]

I have a loom.

[Justin McElroy]

I mean, between my 3D printer and my cricut, I'm basically iron man over here. You know, I'm making. I can make whatever.

[Travis McElroy]

Could you do it in a ca.

[Justin McElroy]

Would you. Could you. With a fox?

[Travis McElroy]

If it's consensual.

[Justin McElroy]

Hey, listen.

[Travis McElroy]

You could say something along the lines of how much weight you think you could suspend. I feel like that's the thing that welders would love to hear. Like, if they've made, like, a corner weld, and you're like, oh, yeah, you can hang. Like, you can hang what, like, 100, 300 pounds?

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Justin McElroy]

What if you just, like, quick spin kick, just, like, right into the weld, and it's like you crumple, your ankle's broken. It's like, wow, that is really good.

[Travis McElroy]

Solid.

[Griffin McElroy]

That's a neat trick, Juice. You can only do it twice.

[Justin McElroy]

You only got the two ankles.

[Griffin McElroy]

Only got the two ankles to compliment with.

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah, but next time you go for that compliment, and they're like, hey, look at this weld. And you start gearing up, and they're like, no, it's fine.

[Justin McElroy]

Please don't do it.

[Travis McElroy]

Six months of intense physical therapy.

[Griffin McElroy]

Please.

[Justin McElroy]

You just healed up my metal ankles. The doctor said that can't happen anymore.

[Travis McElroy]

And then you kick it with your metal ankle, and your ankle breaks, and you're like, I should have gotten you to weld it. What was I thinking?

[Griffin McElroy]

For me, there's nine types of welds. Oh, I think you could have Googled them. In the span of time you have taken to email us a question. I'm learning all about welding today. I mean, it's less fun, but you want practicality. I'm surprised. Sometimes you see a weld and it looks like a wavy pattern, like a cake frosting that's been applied to it, and that's good.

[Justin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Travis McElroy]

Okay, jokes out of the room. I took a blacksmithing class or two, and I did some welding in there, and I love it.

[Griffin McElroy]

It's so cool. Blacksmithing doesn't excite me as much. Cause it's like, you take one piece of metal, you make it look like something else. Being able to take two pieces of metal and attach them, that seems crazy to me. That seems fucking wild to me, that.

[Travis McElroy]

Griffin, what you just said. Myself, as a journeyman blacksmith, really deeply offended me. The idea that you're, like, blacksmithing. I could take a piece of metal, Griffin, and turn it into art or a weapon.

[Griffin McElroy]

I think I understand blacksmithing. You get the thing hot enough, and then you can change how it looks. That's cool. How do you attack?

[Travis McElroy]

With the gentle strike of my hammer, I can shape the very essence of earth into whatever you need.

[Griffin McElroy]

That's cool. But I know how that works. I don't get welding. I don't know what's fucking going on in there. It's attaching two pieces of metal forever. How are they doing this stuff?

[Justin McElroy]

They're getting it so hot. I think we need the metal workers to step in here. I made a video about how to fake an interest in woodworking. Backyard in 2020. And, guys, that video has 264,000 views. That is outside of our normal performance. That means that people are finding this instructional video I made and watching it, learning how to compliment a woodworker. We need our metal workers step in. Please tell us the nice things to say about metalworking in general.

[Travis McElroy]

By the way, that should be a whole series of, like, somebody gave me a knitted gift, and I need to know how to not just be like, oh, cool, cozy. I Need deeper layers than that. Give me how to compliment knitted craft work. Give me how to compliment pottery. Give me how to compliment these things. Give me how to sound good. Talking about American basketball, history, anything you guys want to start throwing at me to teach me how to sound, That's.

[Griffin McElroy]

At a certain point, you're just describing school.

[Travis McElroy]

No, Yeah, I remember that class where they told me how to sound smart. Talking about, like, somebody's wood carvings. Griffin, what do you think?

[Griffin McElroy]

Sometimes I'm watching one of them greens videos.

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah?

[Griffin McElroy]

And I'm like. Cause it's like, it sounds cool what they're talking about. And they're like, you want to learn about some old boat? And I'm like, hell yeah, greens, boys. Let's do it. And then I. But then I catch them. After a few minutes, I'm like, this is school. You tried to get me back into school. Nice try.

[Travis McElroy]

It's school 2.0. Because if somebody said to me, hey, sit down and watch these green brothers talk about our old vote. And at the end, we're gonna test you on it. And depending on how well you do it, increases our funding, I'd be like, oh, fuck off.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah, that's that.

[Justin McElroy]

You do it and then get the best score you could. And then feel good.

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah, I would. Okay. I would.

[Justin McElroy]

You would?

[Travis McElroy]

I would. But that's not the point.

[Justin McElroy]

Self respect. A self respecting person with dignity.

[Travis McElroy]

Yes. Someone who cares more about their own self worth than proving to others how good they are at things. Wouldn't do it.

[Griffin McElroy]

No.

[Justin McElroy]

Hey, would it be all right with you guys if we took a quick break?

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah. I'm so tired.

[Travis McElroy]

Let me think.

[Justin McElroy]

Thank you.

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah, I think it's all right. I think I'll let the ad guys.

[Justin McElroy]

Step in for a second.

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah, bring in our stunt doubles to the Money Zone.

[Musical Guest]

It's better. It's better.

[Justin McElroy]

Hey, listen, though. It's time for you to get out there and start making your way in the world today. It takes everything you got. But the first thing it takes is a great looking website. And that is easier than it sounds if you're willing to harness the power of Squarespace.

[Travis McElroy]

But frankly, your dad and I have been supporting you for too long. We've let you live in the boathouse this whole time. And it's time for you to make a name for yourself.

[Griffin McElroy]

I'm an old sailor.

[Travis McElroy]

That's right.

[Griffin McElroy]

On a boat. On a nearby boat.

[Travis McElroy]

And he's outside the wing. He's on the wing of the plane right now.

[Griffin McElroy]

Squarespace lets you make a beautiful website and engage with your audience and sell anything from products to content to time, all in one place. All on my terms. That's right. I've partnered with Squarespace to determine all the terms.

[Travis McElroy]

This is like when they have Travis Scott do a meal or something at McDonald's.

[Griffin McElroy]

It's a lot like the Travis Scott meal, except it's me. And Squarespace said you get to decide if every site's good enough or not. And I'm a pretty harsh critic when it comes to sites. That's not true. You can do whatever Squarespace payments they got, no matter how they want to spend the money and what vehicles that that money travels in. Squarespace payments gonna get you there. And you make it look all good. They have a.

[Justin McElroy]

You make it look all good.

[Griffin McElroy]

You make it look all good.

[Travis McElroy]

You make it look all good.

[Griffin McElroy]

You make it look all good. With an unrivaled suite of visual design effects built and ready to go on any Squarespace website, we've all.

[Justin McElroy]

Hey, Griffin, I feel bad enough about the suite of visual design effects that I've been developing for you to say I'm not even rivaling Squarespace in this public forum is, like, unnecessary.

[Travis McElroy]

They don't even see you in the same league.

[Justin McElroy]

Justin, I am saving these files as fast as I can. I'm putting them in the cloud as fast as I can. I can't keep up. It's a whole company.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah, sorry, man. You get. You're just never going to catch up. No, not because Squarespace is going to keep making them. And even if Justin keeps making them apace, he will never catch up. He's so far behind Squarespace, and it's not fair. Squarespace kicks so much ass. It's not fair that Justin has to try and fight them.

[Travis McElroy]

And yet.

[Griffin McElroy]

And yet. Go to squarespace.com for a free trial. And when you're ready to Launch, go to www.squarespace.com mybrother to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain.

[Travis McElroy]

We're blasting off. We're blasting off to savings and fiscal responsibility. And if you look out the window of this rocket out on the wing, you'll see Griffin McElroy.

[Griffin McElroy]

That's right. I'm not gonna take the lead on this ad, though. Nice try, hater.

[Travis McElroy]

Oh, Griffin just flew off the wing.

[Justin McElroy]

Oh, my God.

[Travis McElroy]

We were moving too fast. Oh, he's burning up on reentry.

[Justin McElroy]

Hey, it's me, Justin McElroy. I'm on the other wing. Back to you, Trav.

[Travis McElroy]

Ah, thank you so Much Justin. Rocket Money is there to save you money and to help you feel fiscally responsible. Keep track of your budgets, all of these things. It's a new year. It's the perfect time to get organized, set goals, all of that stuff. And they can help you across so many different options, all kinds of accounts. Rocket Money is a personal finance app that helps you find and cancel unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending, and helps lower your bills so you can grow your savings. Scan your bills to find opportunities to save. And Rocket Money has over 5 million users and saved a total of $500 million in canceled subscriptions, saving members up to $740 a year using all of the app's premium features. So cancel your unwanted subscriptions and reach your financial goals faster with Rocket Money. Your financial goals faster with Rocket Money. Go to RocketMoney.com MyBrother today. That's RocketMoney.com MyBrother RocketMoney.com MyBrother.

[Justin McElroy]

Would you like another question?

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Justin McElroy]

Okay. I just started a new job working in a warehouse where it is required to stand the entire shift gross. One of my. Yeah. One of my New Year's resolutions was to get fit. So I thought I might as well work out while I'm standing. Okay. I've tried to march in place, but it made it look like I constantly had to use the bathroom. Any ideas for some secret exercises I could do that won't be weird? That's from COVID Cardio in Cleveland. Okay.

[Griffin McElroy]

It would be so tight if you could just vibrate your body all over.

[Justin McElroy]

Like the belts. Like the weights.

[Griffin McElroy]

It wouldn't be. No, not like the belts all the time. It would be imperceptible. This sort of like shifting just like.

[Travis McElroy]

Like a full body.

[Griffin McElroy]

You don't have to make a face, I think, to do it because if I walked around and I saw someone standing stock still. Cause the vibrations are so minute making that face, I would know that they're vibrosizing.

[Justin McElroy]

What if they had to have raised eyebrows to do it?

[Griffin McElroy]

No, I don't think there'd be any kind of visual tell. I don't want to know if you're vibrosizing or not. You should be able to do it even if you're walking around.

[Justin McElroy]

This is Kegels you're describing. Kegels.

[Griffin McElroy]

I don't know if you can walk around and do Kegels at the same time.

[Travis McElroy]

You can't. If you focus up, man. Get it right tight. Now, here's my question.

[Griffin McElroy]

I'd say I wanna see it but both of your guys offices are alone.

[Travis McElroy]

Doing it right now. Why? This wasn't the question, but I'm perplexed as to why you wouldn't be allowed to sit down in the warehouse. Is the assumption that at any moment, at any moment there could be a truck come or derelict.

[Justin McElroy]

It's irrelevant.

[Griffin McElroy]

It is irrelevant. However, I have to imagine, man, I don't know.

[Justin McElroy]

I will say treat yourself to some of the inserts. If you're going from not standing all day to standing some of the day. Get the inserts, get the inserts, get the inserts. That's a really good place to start. You can't have like improvements in your health if you're undone by muscle strain from, you know, being on your feet all the time. So start with the shoals.

[Griffin McElroy]

That's a huge step.

[Justin McElroy]

It may take you a month to get used to that. Like don't even try to start exercising yet.

[Griffin McElroy]

I'm also gonna go ahead and recommend get super good at forklift. Cause that's a sit down opportunity every time you're on forklift.

[Justin McElroy]

I don't think this person wants to sit down more. I think they're trying to get healthy.

[Travis McElroy]

Here's how you do it. Are you ready? What's that? It's two birds. I got this one stone. I'm gonna murder them. So you can't sit down. You wanna exercise more. You're going to find a wall. You're going to press your back against it and go into like you're sitting down, right? With your arms out.

[Griffin McElroy]

And that can feel good.

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah. And you're gonna core workout, arm, everything, right? And eventually you're gonna build the muscles so good you won't need the wall anymore. You're just gonna be able to stick down in the air.

[Griffin McElroy]

Can you even imagine, can you even imagine having that superpower? Such super hyper developed muscles that I can do.

[Travis McElroy]

I wouldn't do anything else except like and sit down in midair all the time. Like I'm having the deepest think on philosophy, religion, economics.

[Griffin McElroy]

That is cool. I prefer vibro sizing just because I think that it is going to be a easier solution in the long run. And also if you touch like some glass it'll like hum because of the vibration. Like if you hold a glass of water you can like see the ripples on the surface. Like there's so much cool stuff we could do with vibro sizing.

[Travis McElroy]

Could you get a partner in this? Another co worker. And you guys just lean back to back against each other and Then eventually maybe a third person joins and a fourth and a fifth, and pretty soon you're just a stack of leaning people all resting against one another.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Travis McElroy]

Supporting each other. I call it a union. And this union supports each other.

[Griffin McElroy]

Tell me more, Travis.

[Travis McElroy]

Ah, thank you for asking. So the union, it's like they're all leaning against each other.

[Griffin McElroy]

Does the boss get to join the leaning, Travis?

[Justin McElroy]

Is he in charge of the union?

[Griffin McElroy]

No, the boss is in charge of who leans on what.

[Justin McElroy]

Right.

[Travis McElroy]

No, the union has its own things and makes its own decisions and has what I call this leaning. Negotiating power.

[Griffin McElroy]

Huh?

[Travis McElroy]

Till you get chairs, I guess.

[Griffin McElroy]

I don't understand why we can't get the dang boss in there, though, I feel like.

[Travis McElroy]

Well, because the boss with all the money in his pockets is too heavy to lean against.

[Justin McElroy]

The guy we should be listening to, though, he's got all that money.

[Griffin McElroy]

He probably knows how to lean or else he wouldn't be the God damn boss, Travis.

[Travis McElroy]

Well, it's because he saves that money to not spend on chairs. And he has his own chair. This is the thing. He doesn't need to lean.

[Griffin McElroy]

Well, his chair is his chair. He explained it once. His chair is where he does all of his best boss thinking and he has to sit down in order to do his best boss thinking.

[Travis McElroy]

That's why he can't lean on the union. Right. Because he would get too distracted from his boss work.

[Griffin McElroy]

Okay, well, he can still support the union in other ways, I'm sure.

[Travis McElroy]

Yes, he should.

[Griffin McElroy]

Okay. And this will get me fit?

[Travis McElroy]

You said it will. Emotionally and financially.

[Justin McElroy]

Cool.

[Griffin McElroy]

That's awesome.

[Justin McElroy]

It's really cool.

[Griffin McElroy]

That's a good invention you just came up with.

[Travis McElroy]

Thank you. I just come up with it.

[Griffin McElroy]

That's cool.

[Travis McElroy]

You're all welcome.

[Justin McElroy]

I want a munch squad. I want too much. Welcome to Munch Squads Podcast with a podcast profiling the latest grace of brand eating. It has been a while since we've been able to, like, really dig through everything that's going on, and things are moving at a steady speed. A lot of news in January is the time, like, if you listen to, like, the Empty Bowl, My Cereal podcast, you'll know.

[Travis McElroy]

Don't plug your other podcast right here in the middle of your podcast. Within a podcast, we're already one podcast.

[Griffin McElroy]

You're welcome to plug Justin, you're welcome to plug any of your projects that you want. You are an equal contributor.

[Justin McElroy]

Stand up from where you're sitting and look in a mirror. Okay.

[Griffin McElroy]

Go find a mirror.

[Travis McElroy]

I don't have A mirror in here.

[Justin McElroy]

Exactly. That's.

[Travis McElroy]

That's why.

[Griffin McElroy]

Baloney. That's insane traffic.

[Travis McElroy]

I mean, I can kind of see myself in the reflection of my fish tank.

[Justin McElroy]

There's a lot going on. Let me just tell you guys, I want to start with, like, the new year, because that's, you know, obviously, top of mind. Three weeks ago, Sonic kicked it off with a late winter menu packed with hydration, fun, and, of course, indulgence. Sonic's angle is that they have drinks too. That's all that Sonic's thing is. Like, they have drinks and they'll serve you breakfast whenever.

[Griffin McElroy]

I've never seen any kind of fast food or quick service restaurant advertise hydration before. As in, like, come to us, we'll get it. We will get the.

[Travis McElroy]

The wet parts of the indulgence isn't really the buzzword for January.

[Justin McElroy]

Yeah, well, that is. All changes when you're buying a drink at Sonic with their Sour Dragon Fruit Recharger with Red Bull.

[Travis McElroy]

Too many words. Too many words.

[Justin McElroy]

Ultimate Midday Pick Me Up. It's a blend of Red Bull lemon lime soda. You get it? At Sonic, we know the new year calls for fresh ways to refresh and recharge, said Mackenzie Gibson. Our late winter menu is all about embracing fun and flavorful and flirty. From the bold new Bacon Deluxe Double Sonic Smasher.

[Travis McElroy]

Why are there so many words?

[Justin McElroy]

Strawberry Fusion Fizz. We're making it easier and more delicious for fans to keep the tastiest resolution of all to add more flavor to the year. Now, this is what I wanted to really tell you about, guys.

[Travis McElroy]

Hey, real quick though, can I ask, do you think when they're developing these things, do you think that any of them consider the actual person sitting in their car having to lean over to the microphone and go, yeah, can I have the Dragon Fruit Fizz? Sour Punch in the Face with Red Bull and ice.

[Justin McElroy]

You don't have to do that. I don't do that. Like, if someone's like, we have chicken confined, I was like, I'll just have the chicken. Just bring me a chicken one. I'm not gonna say a name.

[Griffin McElroy]

You say Red. Give me Red Bull Drink. And then you'll have the Red Bull Drink.

[Justin McElroy]

You know the one I mean, fans. This is the important thing, though, guys. Fans can also start the year knowing that they're contributing to a cause where a celebrator as a portion of every drink purchased, supports public education through the Sonic Limeades for Learning initiative. Powered by the Sonic Foundation, Sonic has donated more than $28 million since 2009 to fund local classrooms.

[Griffin McElroy]

Jesus.

[Justin McElroy]

Making it one of the largest programs supporting public education in the U.S. wait, that's.

[Travis McElroy]

It doesn't say corporate or private business programs.

[Griffin McElroy]

Aw, man.

[Justin McElroy]

No, it's emotionally much more bracing than that, Travis. It says making it one of the largest. Sonic Limeades for Learning is one of the largest programs supporting public education in.

[Travis McElroy]

The United states, and that's 28 million, spread out over 16 years.

[Justin McElroy]

In other news, CC Pizza is launching spaghetti and meatballs pizza for schools. Cece Pizzini. It's fucking Cece Pani. The culinary mastermind behind Cici's Pizza and Endless Buffet, is introducing a limited time Spaghetti meatballs pizza to continue the brand's 40th anniversary celebration. It's a one of a kind pizza bringing together three beloved Italian comfort foods. Spaghetti, meatballs, and pizza featuring spaghetti noodles, savory meatballs, which we can all agree is better than sweet meatballs.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Justin McElroy]

Rich marinara sauce and melted cheese on cece's signature crust.

[Travis McElroy]

So they just slopped some noodles on there?

[Justin McElroy]

Yeah, bud, they just slopped some noodles on there. What's cece's got? Oh, sorry. It's not Cece. It's Jeff Hetzel, the president of cici's Pizza. Spaghetti and pizza have always been at the heart of celebrations and cherished memories, making this the perfect way to honor Cece's 40 years of bringing pizza together. In that point, I do agree with Jeff Hetzel that a spaghetti and meatball pizza is a perfect way of celebrating CiCi's. Our new spaghetti and meatball pizza celebrates our legacy of comfort, value, and innovation.

[Travis McElroy]

And challenges and food concepts.

[Griffin McElroy]

And then it goes to schools, and then they give the money from the spaghetti.

[Justin McElroy]

Cici's does not. Cici's actually takes money from schools. Cici's does not. Sonic helps schools. Cici's goes to school.

[Griffin McElroy]

The way you attach those, Justin, I thought that this was gonna end with arts. We're calling it the School Getty and Meat School Pizza.

[Justin McElroy]

I'm trying to brighten your spirits with the knowledge that as the weather gets colder and you learn that one of the biggest programs funding US Education is Sonic's Limeades for learning. They're warming things up over at cici's with a recipe you can't find anywhere else. All I can equal parts fun, familiar, and delicious.

[Travis McElroy]

If somebody brought me a pizza box and I opened it and I found, without warning, atop of my pizza, a big pile of loose spaghetti noodles, my brain would inherently think, oh, no. Something's gone horribly wrong.

[Griffin McElroy]

There was a big earthquake. Only at the Italian food restaurant.

[Travis McElroy]

There was a big Italian Mix em Up.

[Griffin McElroy]

Classic Italian Mix Em Up. This is my favorite heist movie from the 80s.

[Travis McElroy]

My pizza is ruined. You know what I mean? I don't think I would be excited about this.

[Griffin McElroy]

Okay, cool. This is cool juice.

[Justin McElroy]

Yeah. So this is our last story this week. Cheat on your diet with Arby's. Your secret is safe with us.

[Travis McElroy]

I wish it said, cheat on your wife with Arby's.

[Griffin McElroy]

Cheat on your spouse with Arby's.

[Justin McElroy]

Pull an American pie on one of our giant roast beef sandwiches and cheat on your wife with Arby's. It's January. The time for fresh starts, new goals, and the promise of healthier habits. Everyone's on board. Hitting the gym, meal prepping, saying no to dessert, and feeling good about it. But let's be real for a second. By mid January, we're all looking for that one cheat day to give our resolutions a break. And who wants to fess up to it? No one. That's where Arby's comes in.

[Travis McElroy]

Arby's.

[Griffin McElroy]

Arby's. Handling this with the amount of sensitivity that I would come to expect from Arby's, the meat house.

[Justin McElroy]

Yeah. So this is great.

[Travis McElroy]

A wild assumption that everyone's on board. Hey, people who have clicked to read an Arby's press release.

[Justin McElroy]

Yeah, we know you're on board with health New Year. Same you. This is the name of the menu, huh? Cool. Only menu help you design. Designed to help you cheat on your goals without the judgment from your friends and family. In five select Arby's locations, they are.

[Griffin McElroy]

In Cleveland, Cleveland, Las Vegas, Miami, Chicago and Atlanta. That tracks it.

[Justin McElroy]

Yeah, Is great. Now listen, here's the magic. What these five locations have done is they renamed some of the items. So the double beef and cheddar, they're now calling salad with dressing. And they're calling the regular jamocha shake a green smoothie. And they're calling small curly fries steamed vegetables. So they are celebrating. Arby's is celebrating the new year with some fucking Orwellian doublespeak madness where they're just calling foods different things.

[Travis McElroy]

The story that they're envisioning here is that I have made a resolution to be healthier, to eat healthier. And on my cheat day, I'm gonna sneak over to Arby's. And then when I get home and I guess my spouse or somebody is.

[Justin McElroy]

Like, or somebody that loves, I need.

[Travis McElroy]

To check the receipt and I hand them an Arby's receipt that says, I got a salad with dressing, a green smoothie, and a steamed vegetables that my whoever accountability partner is like, you went to Arby's and got a salad with dressing, a grain smoothie, and steamed vegetables. They've never had those things at Arby's before.

[Justin McElroy]

This is. This is. Okay, Trav. This is the actual quote, brother. At Arby's, we know that keeping your resolutions are hard, especially when you have pressure from family and friends, said Jeff Baker. This menu is just the perfect way to treat yourself while saving you the headache of having to explain to everyone.

[Travis McElroy]

What the fuck Arby's.

[Justin McElroy]

You have the rest of 2025 to hit your goals. And at Arby's, we just want to, you know, have a fun, stress free indulgence.

[Travis McElroy]

Stress free.

[Justin McElroy]

No judgment, no guilt, just good food that makes sticking to those resolutions a whole lot easier. So go ahead, order that salad, enjoy those steamed vegetables, and let's let Arby's help you through this time of year with a side of humor and a whole lot of flavor.

[Travis McElroy]

I'm so glad, Justin, that Arby's sent this to you to kind of edit before they published it to everybody. Cause I have so many notes. They would be so better off if they had taken this in the direction of, hey, we're Arby's and we know you want to treat yourself a little better and maybe make some mindful decisions regarding your eating habits and your health. But if you have someone, that's an.

[Griffin McElroy]

Incredibly personal topic that we Arby's should not probably take a shot at, and.

[Travis McElroy]

That'S up to you. But if you have someone in your life who's giving you shit about occasionally having like, some fries, that's fucked up. Come to Arby's.

[Justin McElroy]

No, Travis, you're. But what you're. It's not that Arby's thinks that they're helping you out, because what they are saying, though, is what they're envisioning is a situation where your partner. It's easier and less complicated for you to explain that. Yes, you actually did get a small steamed vegetables at Arby's.

[Travis McElroy]

Like.

[Justin McElroy]

And here's why. Allow me to explain that actually, you are embarrassing yourself because it was healthy.

[Travis McElroy]

Arby's, Sydney and Ari in this universe, I guess they also assume I've already told my partner I'm going to Arby's.

[Justin McElroy]

It's worse than that. They're telling you that you're cheating on your diet with yourself. So what they're saying is you'll get a receipt out. Three weeks later, be like, I went to Arby's. Fuck me. This is classic me. Oh, wait a minute, I got a salad.

[Griffin McElroy]

All right, good job. Could you play it? You get home and your significant other's like, hey, I know you're concerned about your heart health and you've been trying to cut red meat out. That's a big, big wet pile of red meat you have there. You say, no, it is a salad with dressing.

[Travis McElroy]

Have you seen? Is it cake maybe? So this is like that where they made wood. Is it salad? It is. No, I'm not gonna cut it open. Just trust me.

[Justin McElroy]

It's gonna be really hard to explain to people that in the span of five years we went from McDonald's actually selling a salad you could buy to Arby's calling roast beef sandwiches salads. That's like, that's where we're at. It took about five minutes.

[Griffin McElroy]

It's gastro juice. It's gastro. It's a salad that looks like a roast beef sandwich. Fucking Wiley Dufresne done it again.

[Justin McElroy]

Gastro lighting is more. Is more like it. That's what we're getting for Arby's right now.

[Travis McElroy]

Who I feel bad for. I feel bad for anybody who pulls up to Arby's and is so excited to see that they now have salads and like steamed vegetables. And they're like, yeah. And then they get it and they're like, oh, something. There's been a classic Italian mixum up here. I feel love.

[Justin McElroy]

Thank you, Wendy's, for continuing to offer your raggedy salad.

[Travis McElroy]

Fighting the good, sad fight. You only got the salad equivalent to soldiers eating their shoe level leather during the Civil War.

[Justin McElroy]

You keep dumping your busted down chili on it and calling it a taco. Your chili that already has your cut up hamburgers. So it's a double repurposing. And you keep putting that busted stuff out there. Good for you guys. Thank you for that. McDonald's got too embarrassed during COVID They're.

[Travis McElroy]

Like, nah, it's in a cup. Still not fun enough.

[Griffin McElroy]

Do you like Wendy's?

[Justin McElroy]

Do I like Wendy's?

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah. Do you like Wendy's? Nuts drag on your face.

[Travis McElroy]

Guys, I'm.

[Griffin McElroy]

Floating those left, right, and center over here.

[Justin McElroy]

That's good. We can't. We can't end any stronger than that. Thank you so much for listening to our podcast. We're coming to Florida February 20th through the 22nd. 20th, 21st, we're going to be in Tampa doing my bim and taz first ever taz in Florida. And February 22nd, we're doing my bim bam in Jacksonville. Tickets are on sale now if you go to Bit Ly McElroy Tours.

[Travis McElroy]

Speaking of tickets on sale now, Champions Grove. I think there's like four left, so hurry over and grab those. Get your [e-mail] come join us in Hocking Hills, Ohio at a real life castle to play some us. It's me and other creators. I didn't invite Griffin and Justin this year, but you can come join us championsgrove.com they didn't invite me last year.

[Justin McElroy]

I just paid for myself.

[Travis McElroy]

I invited you to pay.

[Griffin McElroy]

We have available a Miggy plush in coordination with Youtooz that is only available until January 28th. Miggy, of course, being the mascot and weirdly enough, producer of the McElroy family clubhouse, you can find a link where you can get this beautiful Miggy plush that is only available until January 28th at Bit Ly U2's Miggy. That's Y O U T O O Z Miggy. And pick it up. I have one. It's adorable and I love it. We've also got some other merch [e-mail] there's an Energy Dragon pin. Speaking of clubhouse. And 10% of all merch proceeds this month will be donated to the Palestine Children's Relief Fund. That's all there. Did we come up with an outro?

[Travis McElroy]

Thank you to Montaigne.

[Griffin McElroy]

Thank you to Montaigne for these four Time song My Life is better with. Thank you, Montague.

[Travis McElroy]

So I think we should invite our listeners to share with us their irrational or maybe silly fears that they have chosen to let go of this year. And to set the tone, I will go first.

[Griffin McElroy]

Wow, Travis, you, Travis will go first.

[Travis McElroy]

Yes, I will.

[Griffin McElroy]

You're going out on a limb here. It'll be hard to convince me that laughing at other people's fears.

[Justin McElroy]

Yeah, Griffin and I were pretty firm about this at the beginning.

[Travis McElroy]

In the year 20 thunder drive faster than fear. I shall let go of my fear of the robot lady from Superman iii.

[Justin McElroy]

Very brave, Travis. I take it all back. Very brave. My name is Justin McElroy.

[Travis McElroy]

I'm Travis McElroy.

[Griffin McElroy]

I'm Griffin McElroy.

[Justin McElroy]

This has been my brother. My brother may kiss your dad square on the lip.

[Musical Guest]

Is that with you.

[Justin McElroy]

My life.

[Musical Guest]

It'S better, it's better with you my life it's better it's better with you.

[Justin McElroy]

Is it true?

[Musical Guest]

It's better, it's better with you my life.

[Justin McElroy]

Maximum fun.

[Griffin McElroy]

A worker owned network of artist owned.

[Justin McElroy]

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