MBMBaM 750: A Thrupence and Nine

Summary

My Brother, My Brother and Me – Episode MBMBaM 750: A Thrupence and Nine

Release Date: February 17, 2025

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1. Introduction and Opening Remarks

The episode kicks off with Justin McElroy humorously disclaiming that the brothers are not actual experts, setting a comedic tone for the show.

• Justin McElroy [00:00]: "The McElroy brothers are not experts and their advice should never be followed."
• Travis McElroy [00:20]: "It's the start of something beautiful."

2. Super Bowl and Halftime Show Discussion

The trio delves into the Super Bowl, discussing missed opportunities and dissecting the halftime show.

• Travis McElroy [01:27]: "I forgot to watch the Super Bowl and I..."
• Justin McElroy [01:10]: "I would like to take a moment if I could, Travis, because you did miss it. I would like to take a moment to compliment Mr. Lamar on his halftime show."

The conversation touches upon sports gambling frustrations, particularly Griffin's struggles with betting due to his lack of sports interest.

• Griffin McElroy [01:46]: "I don't follow sports. And so really, the legalization of sports gambling is especially unfair to me."

3. Analysis of Mr. Lamar’s Halftime Performance

Justin attempts to provide a thoughtful critique of Mr. Lamar's halftime performance, blending sarcasm with genuine commentary.

• Justin McElroy [03:31]: "At the Super Bowl, which is like the biggest show."
• Griffin McElroy [06:22]: "I will say this about Mr. Lamar's halftime show, and people are gonna get mad at me."

The brothers mockingly speculate on how Mr. Lamar might address Drake during the show, injecting their signature humor.

• Griffin McElroy [06:18]: "We’ve been good and haven't said anything."
• Justin McElroy [04:34]: "No, because I learned about it from. You're wasting air."

4. Advice Segment: Supporting a Child in a Spelling Bee

Justin seeks advice for supporting his son during a spelling bee, leading to a humorous yet insightful discussion on parental behavior at competitions.

• Justin McElroy [15:29]: "My son won his school spelling bee as a fourth grader this year, and I couldn't be more proud."
• Griffin McElroy [15:35]: "Play it cool for the first 20 minutes."

The brothers offer strategies such as remaining calm initially and celebrating appropriately during critical moments.

• Travis McElroy [17:31]: "I would be so excited for them first. But the two best outcomes, of course, best outcome, they win. Second best outcome, they go out real early."

5. Dunkin’ and Coffee Culture Commentary

The conversation shifts to Justin’s challenges with promoting Dunkin’ gift cards for his piano lessons, blending marketing woes with playful banter.

• Justin McElroy [22:38]: "But your position on Donut. Their donuts is that."
• Travis McElroy [23:33]: "Do they have a jingle that you could incorporate into piano lessons?"

The brothers brainstorm creative (and humorous) ways to encourage customers to purchase Dunkin’ gift cards without awkwardness.

• Justin McElroy [09:43]: "Maybe you could just start rounding to nufzed like your total is 13 nufzed."

6. Little Caesars Super Bowl Ad Discussion

A significant portion of the episode is dedicated to analyzing Little Caesars' Super Bowl commercial featuring Eugene Levy and his daughter Sarah Levy. The brothers dissect the ad's humor, characterization, and marketing strategy.

• Justin McElroy [55:55]: "I want to celebrate Little Caesars for returning to a grand tradition that honestly has been sadly missing a little bit."
• Griffin McElroy [51:56]: "I can't wait to watch this fucking thing, man."

They parody the ad's elements, exaggerating Eugene Levy's iconic features and the over-the-top portrayal of his reactions to Crazy Puffs.

• Travis McElroy [58:16]: "It's pretty scary. I don't want my eyebrows to fly."
• Justin McElroy [56:13]: "There are bacon ones. Pizza."

The brothers humorously speculate on future ad scenarios, blending real elements with absurdist humor.

• Justin McElroy [56:17]: "There are bacon ones. Pizza. Pizza."
• Travis McElroy [58:27]: "Dan Levy shows up to be like, oh, no, dad, not like this."

7. Grinding Dance Discussion

In this segment, the brothers tackle the topic of grinding—a form of dance—offering both comedic takes and pseudo-advice on mastering the move.

• Griffin McElroy [35:26]: "Once you know how to grind, you can show off your sexy moves at any party or club."
• Travis McElroy [35:43]: "Indeed."

They humorously critique the appropriateness of grinding in various social settings and mockingly provide step-by-step guidance.

• Justin McElroy [41:14]: "Do you think the spelling bee officials say that."
• Griffin McElroy [41:27]: "Or side to side."

The discussion culminates in exaggerated advice on synchronizing movements and avoiding awkwardness.

• Justin McElroy [43:12]: "You're like a boy with his hand caught in the cookie jar."
• Griffin McElroy [44:03]: "Lovely."

8. Upcoming Events and Community Engagement

Towards the episode's conclusion, the brothers promote upcoming live events such as the Adventure Zone in Florida and Champions Grove, encouraging listeners to participate and engage with their content.

• Travis McElroy [60:07]: "And we'll do that as well."
• Griffin McElroy [60:34]: "We got merch."

They also highlight their merchandise offerings, linking to their online store and mentioning charitable donations associated with purchases.

• Griffin McElroy [60:34]: "[e-mail]. I want to highlight a wonderful Poetry Corner bumper magnet for your car..."
• Justin McElroy [61:09]: "If you are looking for ways to get involved, looking for ways to donate..."

9. Conclusion and Final Thoughts

The episode wraps up with the brothers sharing light-hearted final thoughts, reinforcing their camaraderie and playful rapport.

• Justin McElroy [59:58]: "My life is better with you."
• Travis McElroy [60:34]: "That's RocketMoney.com MyBrother."

Throughout the episode, the McElroy brothers maintain their trademark blend of humor, satire, and genuine advice, ensuring an engaging and entertaining experience for both long-time listeners and newcomers.

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Notable Quotes with Timestamps:

• Justin McElroy [00:00]: "The McElroy brothers are not experts and their advice should never be followed."

• Travis McElroy [01:27]: "I forgot to watch the Super Bowl and I..."

• Griffin McElroy [15:35]: "Play it cool for the first 20 minutes."

• Justin McElroy [03:31]: "At the Super Bowl, which is like the biggest show."

• Griffin McElroy [51:56]: "I can't wait to watch this fucking thing, man."

• Travis McElroy [58:16]: "It's pretty scary. I don't want my eyebrows to fly."

• Griffin McElroy [35:26]: "Once you know how to grind, you can show off your sexy moves at any party or club."

• Justin McElroy [00:00]: "We're obviously doing such a great job of it so far."

These quotes encapsulate the show's humor and the brothers' unique dynamic, providing listeners with memorable moments and insights into their perspectives.

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Final Thoughts

Episode MBMBaM 750: A Thrupence and Nine delivers quintessential My Brother, My Brother and Me content—blending absurd humor with relatable advice. From dissecting Super Bowl ads to navigating the complexities of supporting a child in competitions, the McElroy brothers offer a mix of laughter and genuine guidance. Their playful banter and sharp wit ensure an engaging listen that stays true to the show's beloved style.

Transcript

[Justin McElroy]

The McElroy brothers are not experts and their advice should never be followed. Travis insists he's a sexpert, but if there's a degree on his wall, I haven't seen it. Also, this show isn't for kids, which I mention only so the babies out there will know how cool they are for listening. What's up, you cool baby?

[Griffin McElroy]

1, 2, 3.

[Travis McElroy]

It's the start of something beautiful A.

[Justin McElroy]

Small acquaintance has blossomed it's ripened into.

[Travis McElroy]

A precious friends I could have never seen what was coming for me Hangs at the skate park Hangs by the beach My life, it feels live it's better, it's better with you My life, it's better it's better with you this is who you are it's better, it's better with you.

[Justin McElroy]

Hello everybody, and welcome to My Brother, My Brother Me and it's advice show for the modern era. I'm your oldest brother, Justin McElroy.

[Travis McElroy]

What's up, Trav Nation? It's me. Vroom, vroom. Your middlest brother, Travis. Big dog. Woof, woof. McElroy.

[Griffin McElroy]

What's good, trav nation? It's me, Griffin McElroy. Playing hurt. Playing sick. Isn't he brave?

[Travis McElroy]

I forgot to watch the super bowl and I.

[Griffin McElroy]

This is not.

[Travis McElroy]

This isn't gonna be okay.

[Justin McElroy]

I don't think the absence of comedy is not funny. Do you know what I'm saying?

[Griffin McElroy]

Well, I just mostly don't wanna talk about the super bowl, man.

[Justin McElroy]

Oh, okay.

[Travis McElroy]

What do you wanna talk about, Griffin?

[Justin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Griffin McElroy]

Lost my fucking pants on that one, didn't I? Went big for the. Here's the thing. I don't follow sports. And so really, the legalization of sports gambling is especially unfair to me. Cause it's like, I'm gonna. I'll do it, sure, but I'm gonna be pretty bad at it. And that's not fair. I looked at the past, what, 10 Super Bowls? You know what I kept seeing?

[Travis McElroy]

Chiefs. Chiefs, Chiefs, Chiefs.

[Griffin McElroy]

One every time. So I was like, okay, so I'll get double my money. But it didn't work that way.

[Travis McElroy]

And they're not very forgiving. Gambling stuff I've learned is like saying like, well, see, But I didn't know what I was doing. You don't give the money back, which is weird.

[Justin McElroy]

I would like to take a moment if I could, Travis, because you did miss it. I would like to take a moment to compliment Mr. Lamar on his halftime show.

[Griffin McElroy]

Well done, Mr. Lamar on the halftime show. That was fantastic.

[Justin McElroy]

I want to compliment one thing.

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah, please that man.

[Justin McElroy]

Yeah, I don't, I. Here's what I'm going to say. I'm going to do a little table setting that will surprise no one who is a longtime listener or even short time listener to this show. I do not follow this cultural exchange between Mr. Drake and Mr. Lamar. I was not up to date on it. I've since tried to read up and we've been good.

[Griffin McElroy]

Like we've been really good and haven't said anything.

[Justin McElroy]

We haven't said anything about it. And musically, if you give a shit what a 44 year old man thinks about music, I don't know what to tell you. So here's what I would like to say. Mr. It doesn't this.

[Travis McElroy]

Okay.

[Justin McElroy]

No one gives a shit. That's the point.

[Travis McElroy]

Oh, okay.

[Justin McElroy]

For you to say what you think of.

[Travis McElroy]

No, because I learned about it from. You're wasting air.

[Justin McElroy]

No one gives a shit.

[Griffin McElroy]

That's good. That's good private work you did.

[Justin McElroy]

Here's the point. I want to say the fact that you would be at the Super Bowl.

[Griffin McElroy]

Sure.

[Justin McElroy]

At the super bowl, which is like the biggest show.

[Griffin McElroy]

It's so big you can't say the name of it.

[Travis McElroy]

Crown jewel of trademark.

[Justin McElroy]

And people will be like, so it's your moment, right? This is your moment as an artist where like if you look at, for example, I will use Prince in his iconic halftime show. Exquisite playing the guitar. And it's like this is me as a performer, right? Yeah, I've got all these other styles, right. I'm blending rock, I'm blending R and B. Also the weather can't stop me. I'm an immortal being.

[Travis McElroy]

And in fact the weather is complimentary.

[Griffin McElroy]

I'm bigger than famously have a rain based song and the weather is really working for me right now.

[Justin McElroy]

I have such love in my heart for someone that they would come to him and they would say, Mr. Lamar, how will you be spending this Capstone moment? And Mr. Lamar said, well, I think what we can all agree on is I will need to spend a few minutes of it being mean to Drake. Yeah, everyone's like, wait, that goes without.

[Griffin McElroy]

The Pepsi representatives shaking their heads. Yes, that goes without saying.

[Travis McElroy]

Obviously no notes, no pushback on that. Mr. Lamar, of course.

[Justin McElroy]

And how direct will it be? Kind of like about like the feeling of being an artist in the world and competing with a.

[Griffin McElroy]

No.

[Justin McElroy]

What I think what it will be instead is I will look directly at the camera and I will say, hello, Drake? Yeah, it's me. Hi, it's me. I'm looking and speaking directly to you at the Super Bowl.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Justin McElroy]

I got your ex girlfriend to do a funny dance at you. God, that's mean.

[Travis McElroy]

I saw a tabloidy post thing that during the Super Bowl, Drake was in Australia.

[Griffin McElroy]

And all I can say is, far from it.

[Justin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Travis McElroy]

Imagine humanly possible. Imagine finding out the Super Bowl's coming up, and there's an element associated with it in which you, Griffin, or you, Justin, is like, man, I gotta get to Australia during this weekend. I mean, there's gonna be in any hemisphere related to what's happening.

[Griffin McElroy]

There had to be part of him that was like, maybe he won't do. Maybe he won't play it. Like, holding out hope. Like, maybe he won't. Like, he saw the announcement. Like, who'd they get? Oh, him. He doesn't like me.

[Travis McElroy]

Well, he's not a.

[Griffin McElroy]

He doesn't like me. Maybe he won't do it, though.

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah.

[Justin McElroy]

Do you think that afterwards they should have cut to, like, an awkward headshot for a formal rebuttal from the outback?

[Griffin McElroy]

Just Drake shaking a bottle of Aquafino water as he raises it to his lips, Marco Rubio style.

[Justin McElroy]

What Mr. Lamar often forgets is actually, he is whack, and I actually am cool.

[Griffin McElroy]

I am the.

[Justin McElroy]

I am actually good at rap.

[Griffin McElroy]

I will say this about Mr. Lamar's halftime show, and people are gonna get mad at me. Cause I say this every year. Could have used more Red Hot Chili Peppers.

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah.

[Justin McElroy]

How?

[Griffin McElroy]

I could have just used. Just split the crowd at one point and just hear. And it's like, you know, like, okay, so we do get a little bit of Red Hot Chili Peppers in here. Just a little.

[Travis McElroy]

Do you remember when it was like a big kerfuffle that, like, fleas, like, bass wasn't plugged in or something? And he was like, yeah, man, I'm jumping all around. It's a Super Bowl.

[Griffin McElroy]

It's hard to hear. Football field. You want me to run a cable across that whole thing? No way, man.

[Travis McElroy]

I don't know what to tell you, bud.

[Griffin McElroy]

Do we want to do some advice?

[Justin McElroy]

I would love to help people. I work in retail, and I've been noticing 69 come up in people's totally total fairly recently.

[Travis McElroy]

It's your angel number.

[Justin McElroy]

Sometimes I feel like I accidentally emphasize it, but maybe I'm just in my head about it. How can I be less awkward telling customers they owe $0.69? That's from minor 69er. I'm assuming that you owe something that ends in $0.69, not that you're selling Any. Because I don't think anything costs 69 cents these days.

[Griffin McElroy]

These days in this economy, maybe 1/10 of 1 egg.

[Travis McElroy]

Get em now. Okay, here would be my concern is that without even a subtle nod now you're leaving the window open where they feel they must acknowledge it.

[Griffin McElroy]

Okay, that's interesting. There's a moment hanging in the air. You are in some ways doing a great service by taking that moment and pinning it down so that they are not expected to.

[Justin McElroy]

You could also lie and say 70.

[Travis McElroy]

Ooh.

[Justin McElroy]

And then they'll say, sorry, I'm looking at the total. It does clearly say 69.

[Travis McElroy]

Would you like to round up to 70?

[Justin McElroy]

Would you like to round up for uncomfortableness? Would you like to round up for awkwardity? The kids are awkward. They need your help. You know what?

[Griffin McElroy]

68 cents and I'll take a penny from the kids and they'll give an opinion just to get out of this, please.

[Travis McElroy]

What about you can start saying like.

[Justin McElroy]

Spirit Halloween when they're like, will you be generous? And as a reward, I'll write your name on this wall. Thank you.

[Griffin McElroy]

My greatest wish. I've always now the memory of me will never die. That spirit Halloween has put me up on the ofrenda.

[Justin McElroy]

Or they say here's two bracelets. My kids want them, but I would rather you keep them. Thank you. Spirit Halloween.

[Travis McElroy]

Perhaps you could start doing like an old timey like nine and 60.

[Griffin McElroy]

Oh, that's cool.

[Justin McElroy]

Oh, sign and 60.

[Griffin McElroy]

Nine and three pence. Is that right? Three score nine and three score pence.

[Travis McElroy]

Threepence.

[Griffin McElroy]

Threepence and nine.

[Travis McElroy]

Ah, here's your change, Malone.

[Justin McElroy]

It's a nine piece.

[Travis McElroy]

Babe.

[Griffin McElroy]

Tonight. It's Valentine's Day, baby. You know what I'm thinking? A threepence in nine. We'll get something for both of us.

[Justin McElroy]

Maybe you could just start rounding to nufzed like your total is 13 nufzed. You know what's up?

[Travis McElroy]

We should.

[Griffin McElroy]

I feel like this is. We've trod this ground before, but if we just had more sex numbers, then 69 wouldn't be as noteworthy when it did appear every time.

[Travis McElroy]

We should have them one through 100.

[Griffin McElroy]

Well, I'm not saying every number one through 100 has a designated sexual position.

[Travis McElroy]

Well, which ones do you leave out?

[Griffin McElroy]

13. I mean, I'm not saying every number needs to be one, but if there were like three or four sex numbers, then you would get weird.

[Justin McElroy]

They're funny numbers, right? There's 420, which is.

[Travis McElroy]

There is 420. We should. What we need to do is once a week you rotate the numbers to different numbers, but they mean the same thing. So that way you can never keep track unless you're checking. You know my website where I will update the numbers in real time?

[Griffin McElroy]

That's awesome.

[Travis McElroy]

For a fee.

[Griffin McElroy]

Be like, babe, you know what I'm thinking? It's Valentine's Day. It's time for Shit. Hold on. Damn thing won't load 75.

[Justin McElroy]

Do you guys ever find yourself when you're out amongst unknown people and you do have an opportunity to say the funny sex number?

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Justin McElroy]

Or 420. Do you ever find yourself putting a little extra on it just in case, Just to see. Maybe it's a little feeler to see if the other person is a fellow wanderer like yourself, a fellow journeyman who could get a quick little bust up out of 60. You know what I mean? It's like maybe we could just share a warm, quick chuckle. You know what I mean? Like there's harmless fun just recognizing that it's a funny sex number sometimes. So you give a little. But you just give a little. Like a little.

[Griffin McElroy]

Like, give me an example. Show me an example. Say this egg costs.

[Justin McElroy]

You need like plausible deniability, right?

[Griffin McElroy]

Right. So this egg costs $1 1 69. Like $1.69.

[Justin McElroy]

How much?

[Griffin McElroy]

$1.

[Justin McElroy]

And that'll be $1.69.

[Griffin McElroy]

The laugh felt a little bit.

[Justin McElroy]

I'm going to do it again because it's almost imperceptible. Yeah, that'll be 169.

[Griffin McElroy]

No, no, I think it would have.

[Travis McElroy]

To be more like, oh, that's 169.

[Griffin McElroy]

That's Travis. That was really good juice. You do it like Travis is weird.

[Justin McElroy]

Travis, yours is scared. Yours is scared.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah, yeah, Travis. That felt supernatural.

[Justin McElroy]

You're like a boy with his hand caught in the cookie jar.

[Griffin McElroy]

He hung the world's smallest lantern on it. I thought that that was exquisite. Travis. Let's see yours, then mine. Okay.

[Travis McElroy]

Just like a.

[Griffin McElroy]

That'll be $1.69. You hit it up at the end and they're like thinking like, why did he hit it up at the end? And then they go like, oh, 69. That was his way of acknowledging it. I no longer have to stay.

[Travis McElroy]

Oh, can I try it again?

[Griffin McElroy]

Sure, Trev.

[Travis McElroy]

Okay, that'll be $1.69.

[Justin McElroy]

Oh, woo, wooga.

[Travis McElroy]

I don't.

[Justin McElroy]

I think the second.

[Travis McElroy]

That was too much. Okay, let me try again. Let me try again. Oh, that'll be $1.69.

[Griffin McElroy]

Get it that wasn't okay. The get. It was, you know, that. That was wrong. Can you just. When the number appears on your cash register, look at it and just go like, ew, gross. Like, if it does appear and it's like you're checking them out for one egg and it's $1.69. You just look at the register like, oh, God. Oh, get that off of there. Yuck.

[Travis McElroy]

Is this person. Sorry. Is this person buying a single egg at the grocery store?

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Travis McElroy]

I didn't know you could do that.

[Griffin McElroy]

It's all anyone wants to talk about.

[Justin McElroy]

If it's a really nice bodega, I.

[Travis McElroy]

Can buy a egg. An arsenal single egg, counter egg, like an ostrich egg.

[Justin McElroy]

They'll stay a while. It's. I. I used to get a kick out of. In retail, it was very not uncommon for the total to be 666 and people to buy more. And I always wondered if they were trying to get that going at Blockbuster, because I got 666 a lot. And it made me wonder if they had, like, combos of items where that would be a very common total and they would try to get people to buy more stuff. Here's what I would say. If I found out about a company doing that, I would shut them down, and they are not currently operating.

[Travis McElroy]

Oh, okay.

[Justin McElroy]

Maybe maybe they ran out of rope is all I'm saying.

[Travis McElroy]

Maybe Blockbuster was an inside job.

[Justin McElroy]

Maybe. Maybe. Maybe. Yeah. Thank you, Travis. Yes.

[Travis McElroy]

What combination of things, Justin? Do you think that they could do some market research to be, like, the person who cares about 666 is always getting, like, this copy of Mac and Me and snow caps?

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Justin McElroy]

It was usually just like a package of Act 2 popcorn and a box of jujubes and an insistence that the jujubes tasted better when you bought them at Blockbuster.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Justin McElroy]

Even though it was just the same.

[Travis McElroy]

But no movie with it. Wait, there were people stopping at Blockbuster.

[Griffin McElroy]

To get snacks just for the cuisine.

[Justin McElroy]

Hey. But hey, guys, people stopped at Blockbuster for anything. It was really a community hub where.

[Travis McElroy]

You have a lot of general store.

[Justin McElroy]

Yeah, it was kind of a hang spot where you could come and defraud a company until they went out of business and turned into a amp dance studio.

[Travis McElroy]

It was great for a hub for local news what was going on in the community.

[Justin McElroy]

It's a great place for teenagers to go in and play Super Mario 64 literally for hours during the summer because they had nothing else to do. Here's another question, brothers. My son won his school spelling bee as A fourth grader this year, and I couldn't be more proud. He's participating in the citywide bee, but I don't know how to support him during the competition. Can I hoot and holler when he spells the word right? As a terrible speller myself, I don't know anything about spelling. Be decorum. That's from Rejoicing in Richmond.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah. I mean, it probably doesn't take too long sitting in one of those to figure out what the. What is called for.

[Justin McElroy]

Play it cool for the first 20 minutes. Like, for this first 20 minutes, you try to stay completely motionless and silent. And then after you've clocked everybody and how they react to basically any outcome, that's when you can start reacting.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Travis McElroy]

Oh, okay. But you know that there's not that kind. You're not gonna get the same level of reaction for round one words as you're gonna get for, like, round eight.

[Griffin McElroy]

Once you get into the freaky stuff.

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah. Once you get into, like, the five syllable words or whatever, I think that you would be saved with a superb. Extraordinary.

[Griffin McElroy]

Just say hip.

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah.

[Griffin McElroy]

At room volume.

[Travis McElroy]

Superb.

[Griffin McElroy]

Superb. Don't yell it. But they'll hear it. It's a quiet room. You don't need to project.

[Travis McElroy]

Maybe, like, you're clapping. Imagine you're in the audience of an opera, and the main soprano or whatever has just finished a beautiful aria and you spring to your feet, but all tightly wound. Right. Like, even you can't believe you've been moved to this show of passion as you clap. Yes. Excellent.

[Justin McElroy]

Right.

[Griffin McElroy]

I think that is typically the reaction, but I think you have to wait until they're done with the word. I do know that don't clap mid word.

[Travis McElroy]

When they hear the silent letter.

[Griffin McElroy]

It would be great. It would actually be pretty easy, I think, to sabotage other kids if you could. Mid word. Just bust out like a. Even if they're doing it right, just to get in their fucking heads.

[Travis McElroy]

Nice.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yikes.

[Justin McElroy]

I would be terrified that my kid would look at me for any sort of guidance.

[Griffin McElroy]

Help me, Papa. Yeah.

[Justin McElroy]

Like, please, dad, will the word into my head. Please send it to me somehow. What's the next letter?

[Travis McElroy]

Here's the thing. I think as a parent, if I had to attend a spelling bee for my child, I'd be so excited for them first. But the two best outcomes, of course, best outcome, they win. Second best outcome, they go out real early. Right. Because if they're not gonna win, I don't know how I feel about being there the whole time. Right. And so, like, I think I would more worry about not how to celebrate, but how to lose graciously in a way that if my kid went out in the first round, I would be like, whoa, okay, that's a lesson. Bye.

[Griffin McElroy]

This is how I feel about Survivor. On Survivor, the winner is at the end, whoever gets the most jury votes. The runner up is the person who got voted out first because everybody else lost. But that person's time two cheeseburger was much lower than everybody else's was. They got to. They can go to outback whenever the fuck they want to. They didn't win, but neither did anybody else.

[Travis McElroy]

Yep.

[Griffin McElroy]

So first out's not a bad way to go.

[Travis McElroy]

It's more. It's more video game time for both me and the child.

[Griffin McElroy]

I was in a spelling bee. I was like, whatever it was county level or whatever. I won one spelling bee, and then I went to the next qualifiers or whatever the fuck, and I almost made it. There was some bullshit about like, oh, we can only start the last round when there's five contestants left. And so I kept spelling words right, but there wouldn't be five contestants left. So they had to do the round before over and over again. And finally I missed a word. And that was the one where they had five contestants left. Mom took me to McDonald's afterwards. I was so angry, but I'm so sorry. I got a McFlurry and then I was so fucking angry. And as we were driving out of the drive thru, I saw where somebody else had thrown their McFlurry at the wall at the side of the McDonald's. And I remember thinking, what? My problems aren't so bad because I.

[Travis McElroy]

Still want this McFlurry more than I want to throw it.

[Griffin McElroy]

I still want this McFlurry. And I'm not going to let my impotent rage force me to not have.

[Travis McElroy]

This because now you're still mad and you don't have your McFlurry.

[Griffin McElroy]

I'm mad, I'm hurt. I'm smart from learning all the words. I'm not going to use that shit again. Thank you so much, spelling bee.

[Travis McElroy]

And, you know, if you drop your McFlurry in the parking lot, I bet McDonald's is pretty forgiving about giving a child another one. But if you're like, yeah, I dropped my McFlurry and I dropped it hard against your wall, I doubt that they're gonna be like, oh, yeah, of course.

[Griffin McElroy]

No, you didn't. Gotta be Dexter to figure out the pattern on this one. This was very clearly a McFlurry had been yeeted at the wall pretty good.

[Travis McElroy]

Do you remember what word you went out on? Did it haunt you?

[Griffin McElroy]

I believe it was conscience. That one gets you every time. It's just.

[Travis McElroy]

You wanna do it again now and have a bit of C, O, N.

[Griffin McElroy]

S, C, I, E, N, C, E. Like I'll never fuck it up again for the rest of my life.

[Justin McElroy]

Wow, dude, you've got that, huh?

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah, I got that.

[Justin McElroy]

Yeah, you got that.

[Griffin McElroy]

Let me make sure I do got that. Yeah. No, yeah, I do got that.

[Travis McElroy]

What do you think happened in the moment if you were gonna break it down? Do you think you just got the heat of the lights? The murmur of the crowd maybe got to you?

[Griffin McElroy]

I just spelled it wrong.

[Justin McElroy]

Guys.

[Griffin McElroy]

I don't know. I got a lot of them right. I should have made it on. I should have. Can you imagine how different my life would have been if I had won that and then went to country? And then I got famous for spelling.

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah, like the spelling Olympics. I bet there's an international. That must be tough though for kids that speak different languages.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah. Hey, that's not. How do you do that? That doesn't seem fair.

[Justin McElroy]

Yeah, that's true. They should bust out words from other languages. That would really.

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah, man.

[Justin McElroy]

Kids for a loop.

[Griffin McElroy]

Absolutely.

[Travis McElroy]

Must be tough.

[Griffin McElroy]

Spell this one in Kanji, motherfucker.

[Travis McElroy]

I doubt the spelling bee officials say that.

[Griffin McElroy]

The judges of spelling bee.

[Travis McElroy]

You think you're so fucking smart.

[Griffin McElroy]

The judges of spelling bee should be bitter middle aged former jocks like you think you know everything, huh, Dougie?

[Travis McElroy]

You think word while I chuck tennis balls at you.

[Justin McElroy]

Hey, check this out, Poindexter. I got a pop culture one coming for you. What's Elton John's best song go wrong? It's Crocodile Rock. Dork. You're out.

[Griffin McElroy]

You got all the answers. Elijah. Why is my marriage failing? Elijah?

[Justin McElroy]

Why am I going home to an empty house? I mean, other than you and your.

[Travis McElroy]

Sister, but yeah, I'm proud of you, by the way. You're doing great. Proud of yourself. Your next word, Alamo.

[Justin McElroy]

Disappointment. I'm a piano teacher and I often get gift cards during the holiday season. At the end of the school year, a majority of the cards I receive are for Starbucks. But I'm not really a Starbucks kind of guy. I'd much prefer a card for Duncan had I dropped the hint. I definitely have shown up to lessons with dunks in hand. So I need some other strategies. That's from brewing in Boston. I mean, I. I will Launch out just to get ahead of this thing and say there's a lot of Dunkin Brandon merchandise awaiting for you to help spread the word that you and this brand are basically synonymous. I mean, you. America runs on Duncan and so can your wardrobe. Honestly, there's a lot of great looks to choose from.

[Griffin McElroy]

But your position on Donut. Their donuts is that.

[Justin McElroy]

Oh, if this. Sorry, it's.

[Griffin McElroy]

The business is called Dunkin Donuts, I.

[Justin McElroy]

Was shocked to hear you.

[Travis McElroy]

I think it's just Dunkin now. Actually, I think they dropped the donut.

[Justin McElroy]

I was trying to approach this in a. In a helpful way, but I will say that, yes, Travis, it is just called Dunkin because they realize they could no longer call them donuts with any sort of, like, clear conscience. It's America's worst donut, one of our great brands, but truly, truly inedible with the. The main product that they are named after. Just truly despicable. Despicable Donuts. But they do have a lot of merch.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Justin McElroy]

So if you want. If you start wearing their merch, then I bet that. That people are. It'll get to a point where it would be to get you anything else.

[Travis McElroy]

Do they have a jingle that you could incorporate into piano lessons?

[Griffin McElroy]

The Dunkin Donut. The Dunkin Donuts company.

[Travis McElroy]

I'm saying if they had some kind of Dunkin Donuts jingle that. That was like the only thing you taught your students.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Justin McElroy]

Okay.

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah, I got it.

[Justin McElroy]

Da da da da da Dunkin'that was cool.

[Travis McElroy]

And now our third participant in the piano recital, once again, it's Steve playing Dunna dun dun dun dunkin. The third time you've heard Dunna dun dun dunkin today.

[Griffin McElroy]

So that hits juice. That has a good. Well, hold on. I turned into Mario a little bit there.

[Justin McElroy]

Dun dun dun dun dun Duncan Duncan. Da da da da da Dunkin. That has the benefit of sounding not unlike the Super Mario Bros. Music drink.

[Travis McElroy]

Our drinks don't eat our eats. Don't worry about our sandwiches. They are burned.

[Justin McElroy]

Every food we make tastes like a break.

[Travis McElroy]

The hash rounds were an absolute mistake.

[Justin McElroy]

We sell eggs folded in half and bacon. That is sweet. For some reason. It is all so wrong. It's a bad restaurant, man.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah. Yeah. How come all their drinks taste like when you drink it? Like they need to clean out the machine. That's always my reaction when I drink a drink from there. I need to clean that machine.

[Justin McElroy]

Clean out the machine. And that's what's in your cup that you are drinking.

[Griffin McElroy]

Shoot. Anyway, now that we're done being elitist. I will say it's not elitist.

[Travis McElroy]

It's not elitist.

[Justin McElroy]

It's not good. It's eating cheaper donuts that are the donuts at Jolly Pirate probably cost less and they're gonna be a lot better for you. Any place in America doesn't places though.

[Griffin McElroy]

Some places in America are a Jolly Pirates donuts desert in that they don't.

[Travis McElroy]

It's harder to suggest. Then you drive to the closest Tim.

[Justin McElroy]

Hortons or you're going to have a lot of outlets for Krispy Kreme.

[Travis McElroy]

This is.

[Justin McElroy]

Okay, your local McDonald's probably has Krispy Kreme. The local gas station probably support your.

[Travis McElroy]

Mom and d. Your mom and pop.

[Justin McElroy]

Mom and pop.

[Travis McElroy]

Hey, kids, it's me, dop. You talking about a donut. Adopt a mom and pop donut shop and stop. No.

[Justin McElroy]

You guys ever been to Krispy Kreme where you can watch them being made?

[Travis McElroy]

Oh, yeah. It's like going to the slaughterhouse and picking a steak and say, kill that one. I get it, Justin. Yeah. You know, you're watching them come out and saying, ah, freshly bored donut. I'm gonna eat it.

[Griffin McElroy]

Can you go to Starbucks?

[Travis McElroy]

Yes.

[Griffin McElroy]

Spend all the gift card buying all the. Buying a big a bunch of drinks and pastries, and then take those to Dunkin to sell to them in exchange for Dunkin store credit.

[Travis McElroy]

Mm hmm.

[Justin McElroy]

Okay.

[Griffin McElroy]

Can you go to a Dunkin employee and say, like, do you like Starbucks? Maybe we can do some sort of. Some sort of swap.

[Travis McElroy]

Now, Griffin, can I say I would put money on the fact that there's a thing in a manager's handbook at Dunkin that has specifically had to be put in that outlaws that says we can't exchange the goods and services from Starbucks in exchange for goods and services from Dunkin.

[Griffin McElroy]

What I do with my money as a Dunkin employee is my business. Yeah.

[Justin McElroy]

It's no one's business.

[Griffin McElroy]

And if I want to buy someone's Starbucks gift card off of them for.

[Travis McElroy]

50 cents on the dollar. Oh, if you're getting that kind of deal on it, you'd be a fool not to.

[Griffin McElroy]

Well, I always. I never miss a trick, Travis. When there's a run on the Starbucks banks, I'm always in there buying up everybody's stuff.

[Travis McElroy]

Because then you take those gift cards and you find out what are the hot mugs and travel cups that everybody's dying for. You get those, you sit on them. That's your nest egg right there.

[Griffin McElroy]

Hey, how kick ass would the scene? And it's A Wonderful Life have been. If Jimmy Stewart's guy, he didn't have money, instead he had like a Starbucks gift card with like 1,000 bucks on it.

[Travis McElroy]

If people kept coming in and saying, like, I wanna help. And they were just dropping, there's like $2.50 left on this card if you wanna use it.

[Griffin McElroy]

And someone's like, potter's buying up all the shares for 50 cents on a dollar. And Jimmy Stewart's guy has to be like, okay, hold on. Is anybody spending their money on coffee?

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah, I'll go out, I'll get a bunch of coffees for everybody.

[Griffin McElroy]

You guys seem really freaked out, but if coffee's all you need, I can cover that. How much coffee do you need? And please don't be greedy.

[Justin McElroy]

How much coffee do we have to bring you before you won't kill yourself?

[Griffin McElroy]

Me and my wife. Me and my wife.

[Justin McElroy]

Just not a big enough pile.

[Griffin McElroy]

We just got married and I was gonna take her on the most kick ass Starbucks trip ever.

[Travis McElroy]

We were gonna go from Starbucks to Starbucks.

[Griffin McElroy]

I was gonna take her to this Starbucks I always dreamed of. I saw in all my Starbucks magazines and be like, babe, whatever you want.

[Travis McElroy]

When I worked at that mom and Pop coffee shop when I was little, and I'd pull on the handle and make fire come out. For some reason, I'd always wish to go to that Starbucks shop. And I was gonna do it.

[Griffin McElroy]

I was gonna do it too.

[Travis McElroy]

You need. Sorry, you need a venti. No, you don't.

[Griffin McElroy]

Hey, don't need a venti. Come on.

[Travis McElroy]

You don't need a venti.

[Justin McElroy]

You need to get more sleep is what you need to do.

[Travis McElroy]

Get more sleep.

[Justin McElroy]

To bed early tonight.

[Travis McElroy]

I'd like a flaming rum punch. They don't have those at Starbucks.

[Justin McElroy]

All right, boys, let's take a break and we'll head on over to the Money Zone. Whoa. Exciting. It's better.

[Travis McElroy]

It's better with you.

Guys.

[Justin McElroy]

It's a new month.

[Griffin McElroy]

Fuck.

[Justin McElroy]

It's a new month.

[Griffin McElroy]

Both of you do the ad the way you were going to do it.

[Travis McElroy]

It's also not a new month. This is coming out on like the 17th. Oh my God, it's the middle of the month. No. What were you gonna say about a new month? A new start.

[Griffin McElroy]

Are you the only person alive in the country for whom time seems to be moving at an accelerated rate? And it is not? Absolutely. Creep. Creepin. Alarm.

[Travis McElroy]

We're halfway through. What about keep going, Justin, It's a new month.

[Justin McElroy]

It's a new month. February. And that means it's Time to start getting your finances in order.

[Travis McElroy]

I will say, Justin, that this attitude of it's a new month and time to get your shit together at the 17th is how I feel every minute. I'm like, I should have gotten my shit together back at the beginning of the month. Next month. I'll definitely.

[Justin McElroy]

Okay, so, yeah, let me rephrase what I was saying. It's a completely nondescript time of the year, but it's not super late in the year, and it's a good time. It's not too late.

[Travis McElroy]

There's still time.

[Griffin McElroy]

There is still time.

[Justin McElroy]

Think about your money. Rocket Money is the best way of doing that, because you can sign up with Rocket Money. They're gonna look at your subscriptions, they're gonna look at your accounts and help you to figure out the best way to save a few bucks and take control of your finances.

[Travis McElroy]

They will not look at your private browsing history.

[Justin McElroy]

They will not.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah. Unless you ask them to. Unless that's, like, part of it.

[Travis McElroy]

No, they can have a financial accountability and a spiritual accountability partner.

[Justin McElroy]

That's right. Great point, Trev. They can monitor your spending to help you reach your financial goals and your sinning and your sinning goals. If you have goals for how many offenses you want to commit in the eyes of our Lord, I guess it.

[Travis McElroy]

Could be how many or how few? I was thinking how few. But if you were like, this year, I'm turning it up to 11.

[Griffin McElroy]

It says here Rocket Money has over 5 million NASTY users and has saved a total of $500 million in canceled subscriptions, saving NASTY members up to $740 a year. When using all the app's premium features, I don't know why they would say, sorry.

[Justin McElroy]

It says filthiest features.

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah, and it says in your area. And it just keeps saying, we have the filthiest features in your area. And they're looking for you now.

[Justin McElroy]

Oh, my God. There's an animated gif. I need to expand. Oh, oh, oh. I wish I had done that.

[Travis McElroy]

Oh, my God. Yikes.

[Justin McElroy]

Cancel your unwanted subscriptions and reach your financial goals faster with Rocket Money. Go to RocketMoney.com MyBrother today. That's RocketMoney.com MyBrother RocketMoney.com MyBrother Grif, take it away.

[Travis McElroy]

What you can't see. So my brother just had a coughing fit. Like his doctor would tell him he needs to move out west to dry your good for the lungs.

[Justin McElroy]

You gotta just try to pass it off. Move.

[Travis McElroy]

You gotta live by the sea.

[Justin McElroy]

It's a good joke for the three of us. It's not really for the listener. I'm glad Travis slowed down enough to explain it.

[Travis McElroy]

Do you want to convince a loved one that you're trapped inside of a box? Then Aura Frames is for you. Great. Yeah. You can constantly upload new photographs to it using wifi to make it look like you're trapped inside of the aura frame. Or I guess you could also give it as a gift or have it in your own home. And those work too. If you don't want to do the I'm trapped inside this box kind of thing, either way is fine. And you know, it's that time of year where it just feels like there's occasion after occasion after occasion coming up to give gifts for things. You know, we've got tons of birthdays, graduations, all kinds of things coming up. And aura Frames is there for you. We have an aura frame that we use anytime we get home from a trip, anytime we get home from seeing friends or doing things with the kids. We just immediately upload our photos there so we don't forget, so they don't become trapped on our phone. And it's the number one digital picture frame voted by Wirecutter. I highly recommend them. The best part is it comes with unlimited storage. All you need is the free Aura app and a wifi connection and you can upload as many photos and videos as you want year round. Right now you can save on the perfect gift that keeps on giving by visiting auraframes.com for a limited time, listeners can get $20 off their best selling Carver matte frame with promo code mybrother. That's a u r a frames.com, promo code mybrother. All one word. Don't forget to mention that we sent ya to show your support for the show. Terms and conditions apply.

[Justin McElroy]

We sent you.

[Travis McElroy]

We sent you.

[Griffin McElroy]

We sent you. Tell him the McElroy sent ya.

[Travis McElroy]

Tell em. Tell him I'm coming and hell's coming with me. Tell him I'm coming. Tell him I'm fucking coming.

[Justin McElroy]

You guys like the Limey?

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah. It's been a long time since I thought about it, but yeah, I did enjoy it.

[Justin McElroy]

It was actually like a pretty good terence stamp in film.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah, it was really good.

[Travis McElroy]

Terrence Stamp. You really put your Terence stamp on it.

[Justin McElroy]

Thanks, Jeff.

[Travis McElroy]

You're welcome, man. It has my Terrence stamp of approval. I would like to have a little rubber stamp that's a picture of Terrence Stamp that I could put on things to show My stamp of approval.

[Griffin McElroy]

That'd be cool. I do have a wiki. The wizard is here. He's come down and he is here. A bunch of people sent this one in. Thank you everyone. It's how to grind. Feel like getting freaky on the dance floor? Want to send a sexy message or just have some suggestive fun? Grinding is a form of dance that requires you to move your hips in a circular motion that matches your partner's and to let loose and have some fun. Once you know how to grind, you can show off your sexy moves at any party or club. Read on to find out how to do it.

[Travis McElroy]

I'm so thankful for this because when I Google how to grind, I get such a variety of topics and then I get very confused.

[Griffin McElroy]

A lot of business bros like a.

[Travis McElroy]

Lot of business bros.

[Griffin McElroy]

I have five days in my day.

[Travis McElroy]

A lot of skating, both inline and board. I get a lot of meat related stuff which I think I would get in trouble for doing that on the dance floor.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah, yeah. It's not. You'll lose your food handler's license doing that.

[Travis McElroy]

Indeed.

[Griffin McElroy]

I do take umbrage with. Once you know how to grind, you can show off your sexy moves at any party or club. I can think of 100 parties or clubs where that would not actually be appropriate or acceptable.

[Justin McElroy]

Yeah, most clubs actually. Elks Club. Elks Club.

[Travis McElroy]

Golf club.

[Griffin McElroy]

Golf club. Can't do it.

[Travis McElroy]

Club Dread Club, Penguin.

[Griffin McElroy]

Birthday parties of most ages. Of nearly all ages. I will say it's not like that's a big one for me. Christmas party is not. You're probably not going to do it a lot there.

[Travis McElroy]

Depends on where. Any religious party.

[Griffin McElroy]

I'll tell you, I can think of fewer parties where you can grind at than parties where you shouldn't grind.

[Justin McElroy]

I actually am sitting here thinking, I don't think there's a Christmas party where it's appropriate. Because even in an office setting amongst adults, I would prefer as an HR director that they not grind.

[Griffin McElroy]

I do not want you. I do not want you to grind.

[Travis McElroy]

If the cast of MTV Spring break.

[Justin McElroy]

Had massive MTV's the Grind, if they.

[Travis McElroy]

Had like a Christmas party for their company, they'd be like, let's. But even then you wouldn't want to work. You wouldn't want to work off the clock. No.

[Griffin McElroy]

Well, yeah. But also they're wearing suit and ties in the Viacom headquarters in Manhattan and.

[Justin McElroy]

They haven't done it for 15 years.

[Travis McElroy]

I'm trying to actually think they're all.

[Justin McElroy]

Pretty confused as to why they're Doing MTV spring break again in the year of our Lord 2025, when the cast.

[Griffin McElroy]

Of MTV Spring break, Travis is working. Do you think they work at the beach? Do you think their job is at the beach? Those are young professionals of the Viacom Corporation.

[Travis McElroy]

Well, sometimes. I mean, when they're on location filming, they're working. Yeah, that's work for them.

[Griffin McElroy]

It doesn't feel like it though. Approaching your partner. Listen for the right music. While you're waiting for some hip hop or house music to come on, scout the dance floor for some partners that you might want to grind with. That's insane.

[Justin McElroy]

That's hugely inadvisable. I mean, just beyond the pale.

[Griffin McElroy]

I mean, as a so unwise. As a thought exercise. As a harmless thought exercise. Personally, like, I can't control what you think, man.

[Justin McElroy]

But I will say this. Scoping the floor for babes is one of the most highly detectable human activities that is known to exist. We are all on a 100% tool for it. 100%.

[Griffin McElroy]

100% of the time.

[Justin McElroy]

You will never go through that.

[Griffin McElroy]

Evolutionarily, genetically, we are good at this.

[Travis McElroy]

And not only that, but human beings can clock it when done naturally. Now add the spice of. You've been told to do it by a wikiHow article.

[Justin McElroy]

Oh yeah, they'll see that all over your face, man.

[Travis McElroy]

All over your face. You've got a neon sign above your head.

[Justin McElroy]

Sunk already just reading this yourself.

[Travis McElroy]

You had to look up to find out, Travis.

[Justin McElroy]

That should. It should. The first page should be like, you shouldn't.

[Griffin McElroy]

No, like, look how you got here. And meanwhile, while you're over there in the corner waiting for a hip hop or house song to come on that you can grind to. I'm on the floor. I've been grinding to everything. Because that's the secret is consistency. You can sit and wait and wait and wait all day and miss the whole dance.

[Travis McElroy]

But if you can't grind to some Gin Blossoms, then what are you even doing?

[Griffin McElroy]

Find your partner. If you're brave, you could go up to a potential partner and ask, hey, you wanna dance? I do feel like you do have to be pretty specific and say, like, do you want to. Do you wanna grind? And not just say dance? Cause there's lots of different dances, but there's really only is.

[Justin McElroy]

There's a grind of me.

[Griffin McElroy]

There's only a few that involve rubbing.

[Travis McElroy]

Like that. I would also say rubbing is racist. We need. I think that this being an optional step to ask if they want to be ground upon. Yeah, this is not optional. It's not optional.

[Griffin McElroy]

No, I'm saying. But dance doesn't cover it. No, dance doesn't. Dance doesn't.

[Travis McElroy]

What if they're picturing a waltz?

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah, Foxtrot.

[Travis McElroy]

If you can waltz and grind at the same time though, is there music.

[Justin McElroy]

Where the grind is implied?

[Travis McElroy]

Pony by genuine bump and grind. Gonna make you sweat.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Travis McElroy]

Rhythm is gonna get you.

[Griffin McElroy]

I want. Place that booty on my groin.

[Travis McElroy]

I love that.

[Justin McElroy]

Gyrate a gyrate away, my queen.

[Travis McElroy]

One of Celine Dion's Pleasure.

[Griffin McElroy]

Celine Dion presents But Booty on my Groin and Gyrate Queen and other hits.

[Travis McElroy]

To make love to. That's the album that the theme from Zitanic was on. Do you know that my heart would go.

[Griffin McElroy]

That's a track. If she busted that out at one of her shows, that building would go thermonuclear. Holy shit. Is she really playing? Put that booty on my groin and gyrate queen.

[Justin McElroy]

What do you think the funniest song Celine Dion sings like? What do you think the funniest song out of Celine Dion concert is?

[Travis McElroy]

Okay.

[Griffin McElroy]

Mack the Knife.

[Travis McElroy]

When she does Ray Stevens the streak.

[Justin McElroy]

I've got a lovely bunch of coconuts like this used to make us laugh so much. Ray Stevens is un comedy genius.

[Travis McElroy]

Oh, yes. It's not even the streak. Don't look at.

[Griffin McElroy]

Get into position. Usually the guy gets behind the girl to start grinding. I don't need instructions on this. Thank you, WikiHow. However, you can always grind face to face.

[Travis McElroy]

Okay.

[Griffin McElroy]

What?

[Travis McElroy]

Or side to side. Yeah, I guess you can leave room for the Holy ghost.

[Griffin McElroy]

That's insane. That feels. That feels like such an edge case. That feels like such a huge outlier that it's insane. You felt like you had to include it. It's like saying you can dance or you can dance on the ceiling. And it's like, yeah, I guess if I was in a special room, like in Breaking 2 Electric Boogaloo.

[Travis McElroy]

But I would make the argument that if you are someone who is about to engage in face to face grinding, you don't need a wikiHow article to get you there. Like, there's a level of confidence and skill associated with it. You don't wanna go for that your first time. Why even introduce that as a possibility? That should say this is possible. Parentheses, do not attempt. Read further. Yeah, well, in the advanced article, we'll discuss the possibility of face to face grinding.

[Griffin McElroy]

Here's where. Here's where the.

[Travis McElroy]

They might as well say you could grind with three people at the same Time.

[Griffin McElroy]

Exactly. Yeah. No, I guess. Like, I guess so. Sure, I guess so. There's not like a law. There's no law against front to front grinding. But it's like, why are we doing it that way? That's so antithetical to the spirit of the thing. This is where wheels fall off for me. Part two. Grinding. Awesome. Step one, move your hips in the same circular motion. Well, normally I don't want to read all this. The girl's hips should move in a circular motion. The guy's hips should match that motion. My two reactions to this one, if you go counterclockwise to it, do you both burst into flames from the legs?

[Travis McElroy]

No, but that's just minimal contact because then you only get one contact at 1 degree of the circle. Right.

[Justin McElroy]

You might also get stuck together.

[Travis McElroy]

What if your rhythm gets off and now you're just missing each other or dry?

[Griffin McElroy]

I don't think that's right. I don't think I went to a lot of, you know, formal dances in my youth where grinding was taking place. I don't remember seeing perfectly like a.

[Travis McElroy]

No. Yeah. You don't want an NPC waiting. You don't want Mortal Kombat, like before they fight, circling. Yeah. Listen, I'm an ally. I'll just say it. I think it doesn't have to be boy or girl.

[Justin McElroy]

And it celebrated you.

[Travis McElroy]

Thank you very much. Anybody can grind on anybody. You know what I mean? I think grind is. Grind is grind is grind is what I'm saying.

[Justin McElroy]

So good.

[Griffin McElroy]

Lovely.

[Travis McElroy]

You know what I mean?

[Griffin McElroy]

Thank you so much. And it's lovely.

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah, anybody can dry hump anybody on the dance floor as long as they're consensual, you know, it's not taking place.

[Griffin McElroy]

It's not a thing where you explore the plane with your move. Like there's an. You've added an axis or two to the movement and thrown your credibility into question in a big way. WikiHow juice, you look uncomfortable. Do you not like talking about this kind of stuff?

[Justin McElroy]

I was the generation before grinding, so.

[Travis McElroy]

There'S a part of it before my generation invented it.

[Justin McElroy]

Yes. When you're generation. It would have been very unseemly when I was a child to have ground. And I feel like me commenting on it at this point is tantamount to ageism. I feel like I'm the judgment of the old. I never had my chance to grind. You know, I didn't have that opportunity.

[Travis McElroy]

Our age gaps make this so wonderful because, you know, you were before grinding. I was prime grind. All I did was grind 24 7. And then it was already ironic. Yeah. Griffin was post.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah, it was ironic for me. When I was. When we were grinding, it was like, yeah, right. You yell that over the music. Yeah, right. Can you imagine?

[Justin McElroy]

You know, it's interesting as things come back around, that is a phenomenon where, like, suddenly I've found my kids, especially Charlie, who's a little bit more like, trend awareness, will, like, be into stuff that was a thing that was cool when I was a kid that I know about. And they hate that, which is so surprising to me. Cause I thought it would be more of, like, a. Interesting. We have a common. No, that makes it bad.

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah.

[Justin McElroy]

You know what I mean? Like, it makes it badder that I know of it. It's worse. It's like a bad. It's bad. It's not common ground. It's just that they hate that I know of it.

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah, that's. But it doesn't make them not like it anymore. They just hate the fact that you know about it.

[Justin McElroy]

And I try to keep my mouth shut.

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah.

[Justin McElroy]

That's the way to go. Try to keep it to myself.

[Griffin McElroy]

But do they know how important their approval is to us?

[Justin McElroy]

Yeah, they know that as well as they know their own names. And they kind of dangle it in front of me all the time.

[Travis McElroy]

Charlie and Cooper approve of me left and right. Because they're not. Because I'm not their dad. Right.

[Justin McElroy]

But they got to push me to. They have high expectations for me. Yeah, well, they push you because they love you.

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah, but they know I'm not going anywhere with my life.

[Griffin McElroy]

Right.

[Justin McElroy]

They've been, I need this.

[Griffin McElroy]

And they provide you the support that you need to achieve those goals that they do set for you. Juice, which I think is.

[Justin McElroy]

They do not.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Justin McElroy]

No, they do.

[Travis McElroy]

They.

[Justin McElroy]

No, they don't. They yell at me for apples is what I do.

[Travis McElroy]

Okay. But you don't see, Justin, you don't see the motivation. They come to me every day at the end, they're like, I hated having to yell at him for apples.

[Griffin McElroy]

They really don't.

[Travis McElroy]

I hate it. I hated having to hate him. But if I don't do it, I.

[Justin McElroy]

Hate to yell at him for apples. I hated biting into it, but not even finishing the bite. So there's just teeth marks and then setting it down to rot.

[Travis McElroy]

And I talked about how hungry I was for an hour and a half before he gave me that apple. And then I took one bite, and I hated having to do that. But if I don't do that. He's not gonna be the best Justin he could be.

[Justin McElroy]

Yeah. I hated screaming at him that I was missing something, so I couldn't go to sleep. And not knowing what the something was, but insisting that there was something, I hated to do it, but, you know, he's never gonna achieve greatness unless they're pushing him to his limits.

[Travis McElroy]

And look at you, Justin. Almost there.

[Griffin McElroy]

Almost getting there.

[Justin McElroy]

Closer than ever, one assumes. Closer than ever.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah, I do. Just last thing, I want to leave this one behind, but there is a section called improving your technique, and the first step in it is do the side to side grind. Dancing the exact same way can get old after a while. So once you and your partner have been grinding the traditional way for a while, go for the side to side move. This way. I'm gonna adjust the language here a bit. This way, the little grinder moves to the left while the big grinder moves right.

[Travis McElroy]

The little spoons.

[Justin McElroy]

Gender. Gender neutral grinding instructions.

[Griffin McElroy]

Little grinders. And big grinder is on the right, so they're always on opposite sides, though you'll be turned away from.

[Justin McElroy]

That's how sides work. I don't need a wiki article for that.

[Travis McElroy]

Is this challenging? One of those challenging things where you.

[Griffin McElroy]

It's almost like a Grease.

[Justin McElroy]

Grease choreography. I got it. It's like a horizontal grind rather than a. It's more of a lateral grind.

[Griffin McElroy]

It's important. Your synchronized, perfectly circular motion. As long as you guys are doing the exact same motion, there will be zero friction whatsoever. And that's the goal, people.

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah, I see. So many slippery pants is important, too.

[Griffin McElroy]

So many people grinding. And you can hear the fabric rubbing together, and it's like, wrong corduroy.

[Justin McElroy]

Wrong.

[Travis McElroy]

Wrong. No corduroy. You could start a fire.

[Griffin McElroy]

You need to synchronize your circular motion so that you do not rub against each other at all. At all. That's the way that it is intended to go.

[Travis McElroy]

And hope no one sees you.

[Griffin McElroy]

You can't let anyone see you do this dance. It is of paramount importance.

[Travis McElroy]

This is important. If I was a DJ and I don't know how I'd feel like, would I feel respect for the first couple grinding? Like, I've started the dance, but how soon? If it's like, first song plays and immediately someone's grinding, is it like. Oh, I get it. Yeah.

[Griffin McElroy]

I mean, Trav, famously, most weddings do have a kickoff event.

[Travis McElroy]

Oh, I was thinking school dance. I wasn't assuming this was beginning at a wedding reception. Not kick ass.

[Griffin McElroy]

That would be kick ass, though. If the first dance ended and you and your partner just ran out on the dance floor gasping for air like.

[Justin McElroy]

Oh, thank Christ we can.

[Travis McElroy]

Oh, thank God we can cry now that we're married.

[Justin McElroy]

Now that it's legal in the eyes of Christ.

[Griffin McElroy]

God. You guys pick the longest first dance song fucking ever.

[Travis McElroy]

I was grinding in my chair. These hips gotta grind.

[Justin McElroy]

All right, I lied. I want a munch squad. I want too much squad. Exactly what squad? It's podcasting. The podcast. Profiling latest greatest brand eating. Travis, go ahead.

[Travis McElroy]

Took me a second to connect that I lied to when we asked if you had a much closed and you said no and not just a little confession dropped in there in the middle of Munchkins.

[Justin McElroy]

I lied about it.

[Griffin McElroy]

Zodiac killer.

[Travis McElroy]

I did it.

[Justin McElroy]

I just want to celebrate Little Caesars for returning to a grand tradition that honestly has been sadly missing a little bit. And that is the press release for the thing that absolutely did not need a press release, and certainly not one that is this long. Little Caesars reveals Super bowl ad featuring new bacon and cheese crazy puffs. Little Caesars, which it says here. Little Caesars, the third largest pizza chain in the world and the official pizza sponsor of the NFL, is featuring a breakthrough ad in super bowl licks starring Emmy winner Eugene Levy and showcasing the all new bacon and cheese crazy puffs that will leave fans saying, tastes like whoa long after the big game concludes. It tastes like whoa.

[Griffin McElroy]

Tastes like happy.

[Justin McElroy]

Tastes good like now I think you guys are saying at this point, oh, Eugene Levy and a Little Caesars commercial. Cool. No, no, no. They're not done. Come back. The 32nd spot showcases Eugene Levy in a hilarious jaw dropping moment of astonishment where the irresistible flavor of crazy puffs causes his iconic eyebrows to comically disappear, adding to the fun. Wait, Levy's daughter.

[Travis McElroy]

Sorry, you want to disappear?

[Justin McElroy]

Yeah, fade from existence. You're already laughing, right? But adding to the fun, Levy's daughter, Sarah Levy, also known for her role in the Emming winning series Schitt's Creek, makes a cameo infusing the ad with a playful family dynamic. Ha ha ha.

[Griffin McElroy]

I can't wait to watch this fucking thing, man.

[Justin McElroy]

Oh, you're gonna. Little Caesars has a history of partnering with Hollywood stars and top tal culturally relevant campaigns like one starring Eugene Levy and his daughter Sarah Levy. From Schitt's Creek. The spot by featuring Eugene Levy, an acclaimed and beloved comedian, Little Caesars reaffirms its commitment to bold and memorable storytelling. Levy's charisma and universal charm enable the brand to connect with Audiences in innovative ways extending its reach beyond traditional food marketing.

[Griffin McElroy]

Awesome. You know that the fucking vision to.

[Justin McElroy]

Put Eugene Levy in it.

[Travis McElroy]

The draft of this presented to somebody, I'm like, am I making too bold a claim regarding what people associate?

[Griffin McElroy]

No.

[Travis McElroy]

When you're like, we have a history of using like big stars and stuff or like our commitment to storytelling. Is that weird for a pizza brand?

[Griffin McElroy]

When I saw the Little Caesars commercial, my first thought is, what are the implications of this? What are the implications as a brand for Little Caesars that this happened? What's it all mean? And why did Levy.

[Justin McElroy]

He's like a storyteller.

[Travis McElroy]

But I was so excited to see because I feel like they lost their way for a while in regards to storytelling. And they were mostly focused on making pizzas. And now that they've recommitted themselves to storytelling, I can't wait to see what the LCU gets up to these days.

[Griffin McElroy]

They had a story that worked and it was little Roman guy with a spear, taps it on the ground and the two pizzas flip.

[Travis McElroy]

And he likes both of them. He's excited about this.

[Justin McElroy]

They didn't have to do ash for the longest time because their pitch was this. We will give you two pizzas.

[Travis McElroy]

You know how everybody else gives you one pizza.

[Griffin McElroy]

We will give you two.

[Travis McElroy]

We'll give you two.

[Justin McElroy]

That's buy one and we will give you two pizzas.

[Travis McElroy]

That's our model.

[Justin McElroy]

And they don't do this model as much anymore. But that was the model for a long time, is that you had to take two pizzas. This spot launches Little Caesar's newest campaign, spotlighting its wildly popular Crazy Puffs line. Joining the top selling pepperoni, Crazy puffs and four cheese varieties. Bacon and cheese promises to be a fan favorite with a blend of monster ramen, muenster and cheddar cheeses. Pizza sauce and topped with applewood smoked bacon, a buttery garlic flavored drizzle and parmesan cheese. Now, I know what you're thinking. Now that you know all about Eugene Levy and the puffs and the ad, there's certainly nothing else that could be in this press release.

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah, what could there be?

[Justin McElroy]

Here's another quote. This ad is all about celebrating the bold, crave worthy fun that is Little Caesars. And the addition of bacon and cheese Crazy Puffs takes it to a whole other level.

[Griffin McElroy]

Fuck yeah.

[Justin McElroy]

Said Greg Hamilton.

[Travis McElroy]

How long is this?

[Justin McElroy]

With Eugene Levy at the helm, we've created a spot that's as deliciously entertaining as Crazy Puffs themselves. Working with such an iconic talent showcases our commitment to delivering not only amazing flavors, but also unforgettable brand experience.

[Griffin McElroy]

Can you guys fucking imagine what it was like on that set just between every take? First of all, busting up because Eugene is doing his thing and his eyebrows are gone. That's fucking.

[Travis McElroy]

Well, and then they're probably also tearing up because of the family element of it. Of now his daughter's there in a.

[Griffin McElroy]

Cameo, and they know what they're doing is important. Like, it's important. And it's a tough time, but it's 53 minutes long.

[Justin McElroy]

It's seconds, but. Okay, listen, here's the thing, guys. You won't be able to hear this, so what we'll do is anytime there's words, I'll just say them. Okay? Is that.

[Griffin McElroy]

Does that insane.

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah.

[Justin McElroy]

So he's also. He's coming out and he's.

[Travis McElroy]

He's.

[Justin McElroy]

It's Eugene Levy. He's got some crazy puffs. He's about to bite one.

[Griffin McElroy]

All right. Little Caesar's crazy puffs.

[Travis McElroy]

Whoa. Huh?

[Griffin McElroy]

Is this little veggie.

[Travis McElroy]

Birthday cake comes out. It is so cute.

[Justin McElroy]

My dad's eating crazy puffs again.

[Griffin McElroy]

Don't ask. Whoa. Have you tried the new bacon ones?

[Justin McElroy]

There are bacon ones. Pizza. Pizza.

[Travis McElroy]

Horrifying.

[Griffin McElroy]

It's pretty scary. I don't want my eyebrows to fly.

[Travis McElroy]

Away from my face or terrorize the.

[Griffin McElroy]

I don't want my eyebrows to fly off my face and land on a strange baby that I don't know.

[Travis McElroy]

Seek out my daughter for some kind of comfort and guidance, embarrass my daughter.

[Justin McElroy]

At her fancy lunch that she's having.

[Travis McElroy]

I love the implications here, too. The deeper implications that Eugene Levy, noted movie star, comedian, public person, has lived such a sheltered life that eating just what appears to be the cheese crazy puffs is enough of an experience to drive his eyebrows off his face.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah. What do you think it's like having a body feature that's so memorable and prominent that it becomes the absolute cornerstone of an entire super bowl ad?

[Justin McElroy]

I feel bad because he's got to feel trapped. Like, he may have days where he wants to shave him off?

[Travis McElroy]

Do you think him and Peter Gallagher ever get together and just, like, talk about what it's like?

[Griffin McElroy]

Oh, yeah, it's probably hard.

[Travis McElroy]

You ever think about just plucking them?

[Griffin McElroy]

Do you think Eugene Levy's ever, like, no one ever talks about my huge balls because his eyebrows is, like, the number one thing that people associate with.

[Travis McElroy]

I bet he says that all the time.

[Griffin McElroy]

But if he had huge balls and he would be angry that no one knows about that.

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah.

[Griffin McElroy]

Wouldn't you be so pissed?

[Travis McElroy]

I'd be so mad. Huge, beautiful balls.

[Justin McElroy]

Next super bowl ad is gonna be crazy. They have a new fucking shrimp Alfredo.

[Travis McElroy]

He eats them and you just hear a loud clunk.

[Justin McElroy]

Blows his balls off his spine.

[Griffin McElroy]

The fucking press release is like, family is important to Little Caesars. That's why in this commercial, when Eugee Levy's huge balls get blown off by our shrimp Alfredo crazy puff, his son.

[Travis McElroy]

Dan Levy shows up to be like, oh, no, dad, not like this.

[Justin McElroy]

His best friend Martin Short is like, oh, no, not again.

[Travis McElroy]

Not your balls.

[Griffin McElroy]

Not your big, beautiful balls, Eugene. When his comedian son, Dan Levy from Schitt's Creek is rollerblading and trips on his dad's huge balls as they roll away from his body because of the crazy puffs. That means family to Little Caesars, by the way.

[Justin McElroy]

Everybody from Schitt's Creek in the main cast is in a Super bowl commercial this year.

[Griffin McElroy]

Good for them, man. Get that.

[Justin McElroy]

What an achievement.

[Griffin McElroy]

Get that.

[Justin McElroy]

What an achievement. Thanks so much for listening to our podcast. We hope you've enjoyed. I'm in tears.

[Travis McElroy]

And thank you, Eugene Levy, for.

[Justin McElroy]

Thank you, Eugene Levy, for your huge balls.

[Griffin McElroy]

We're just goofing.

[Justin McElroy]

Just goofing and having some fun.

[Travis McElroy]

Unless you do have big, huge balls.

[Griffin McElroy]

I don't know. I don't want to talk about it.

[Travis McElroy]

It doesn't matter.

[Justin McElroy]

I don't want to talk about you more.

[Travis McElroy]

Hey, but what I do want to talk about this week, my brother, my brother, me and Adventure Zone is coming to Florida. It's our first ever live Adventure Zone in Florida. We're doing Taz versus Romeo versus Juliet. And my brother, my brother and me on either side of that one. So you can get all the info, get the tickets at bit L. If you have questions that you want us to do at the My Brother, My Brother and me shows, then email it to nbmbamaximumfun.org and put which city you're going to be at and also send in. You're going to be faster than fear this year that you want to be read at the show. And we'll do that as well. Also, coming up here in May, Champions Grove, 2025. We got a couple packages left. Don't miss your chance to be a part of the fun. Justin, you were there last year.

[Justin McElroy]

I was, Travis. I had a great time, and I think anybody that goes is just going to have the time of their lives.

[Griffin McElroy]

And he buried a great treasure.

[Justin McElroy]

Yes.

[Travis McElroy]

And yeah, it's a body of a friend, so go dig it up. Friendship is the best treasure. Check that [e-mail] come hang out at a castle in Hocking Hills, Ohio with me and some other RPG creators and play some games and make some new friends and have a great time. Championsgrove.com what else, boys?

[Griffin McElroy]

We got merch. [e-mail] I want to highlight a wonderful Poetry Corner bumper magnet for your car, designed by Daniel Wagner. If you're a fan of my wife's knowledge of poetry and how she shares it so generously on our podcast wonderful. Then you can make that known to the world [e-mail] and 10% of all merch proceeds this month will be donated to World Central Kitchen, which uses the power of food to nourish communities and strengthen economies through times of crisis and beyond. And thank you so much also to Montaigne for the Ushered theme song My Life Is Better with you.

[Justin McElroy]

If you are looking for ways to get involved, looking for ways to donate, we do have a list of the organizations and nonprofits that we've worked with or donated to over the years. If you want to check that out, it's at McElroyFamily Carrd.

[Griffin McElroy]

Co. Do we have a wish?

[Travis McElroy]

We do. Well, not a wish. We have a fear, not a wish.

[Griffin McElroy]

Well, I still call them wishes.

[Travis McElroy]

Okay, okay.

[Griffin McElroy]

It's a wish to get over a fear.

[Travis McElroy]

Justin, do you want to read it?

[Justin McElroy]

I'd be happy to. Trav. This year I'm going to stop being afraid of my Pokemon team getting jealous if I spend too much time with just one of them. My name is Justin McMoire.

[Griffin McElroy]

A real mechanic in the game. Like if there's some Pokemon only evolve.

[Justin McElroy]

My name's Justin McElroy. I shouldn't have to worry about Packmoo.

[Griffin McElroy]

I'm Griffin McElroy.

[Justin McElroy]

This has been My Brother. My Brother May Kiss yous dad Square on the Lips.

[Travis McElroy]

It'S better it's better with you it's better My life it's better it's better with you Is it true you are it's better it's better with you My life.

[Justin McElroy]

It's better with you Maximum fun.

[Griffin McElroy]

A worker owned network of artist owned.

[Justin McElroy]

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