MBMBaM 752: A Complex Story About Beans

Summary

Podcast Summary: My Brother, My Brother and Me – Episode MBMBaM 752: A Complex Story About Beans

Release Date: March 3, 2025

In Episode 752 of My Brother, My Brother and Me titled “A Complex Story About Beans,” The McElroy brothers—Justin, Travis, and Griffin—delve into a variety of humorous and relatable topics, ranging from dental mishaps to intricate escape room strategies. This episode is a testament to their unique blend of comedy and genuine advice, ensuring listeners are both entertained and informed.

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1. Justin’s Root Canal Experience

The episode kicks off with Justin sharing his recent ordeal with a root canal, setting the stage for a candid and often humorous discussion about dental woes.

Justin McElroy (01:10): “I got a root canal. This was an emergency because my mouth hurts so bad.”

Travis McElroy (02:28): “I can’t believe that you would do your job and record the podcast at the same time. That kind of split focus.”

Justin humorously navigates his recovery while balancing his responsibilities as a host, highlighting the challenges of maintaining professionalism amidst personal discomfort.

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2. Groundhog Day and Punxsutawney Update

Transitioning from dental drama, the brothers shift focus to the annual Groundhog Day festivities in Punxsutawney, Pennsylvania. They provide an amusing update on the inner workings of Phil, the famous groundhog.

Travis McElroy (08:11): “The people of Punxsutawney dislike Groundhog Day because of the huge flux of groundhog heads who come in and take advantage of the city's small infrastructure.”

They explore the lore surrounding Phil’s inner circle, the Elixir of Life, and the recent addition of Phil and Phyllis’s little groundhogs, Sunny and Shadow. The discussion is peppered with playful skepticism and imaginative scenarios about the groundhog’s extended lifespan and supernatural abilities.

Justin McElroy (10:01): “Maybe if we brought him up a bit more, there’d be a bit of accountability. Let’s check in more frequently.”

The brothers contemplate expanding Phil’s predictive capabilities beyond weather forecasts, humorously suggesting he could predict global markets or other future events.

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3. Donut Lovers' Dilemma

Aimee introduces a listener question titled “Donut Lovers' Dilemma,” where Justin seeks advice on how to start eating donuts at work without revealing he previously claimed to dislike them.

Justin McElroy (22:13): “I want to eat one [donut]. But I didn’t know how to break it to them that I actually do like donuts.”

The McElroy brothers brainstorm creative and comedic strategies to address Justin’s predicament, such as:

• Pretending to discover a newfound love for donuts by praising different flavors.
• Crafting humorous stories about finally understanding the appeal of donuts.
• Suggesting bold actions like trying a new donut type in front of colleagues to spark conversations.

Travis McElroy (23:58): “You’re going to get more donuts than if you had just started eating donuts to begin with.”

Their suggestions blend practical advice with their signature humor, making the dilemma both amusing and relatable for listeners facing similar social faux pas.

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4. Dad’s Xbox and PlayStation Mix-Up

The episode takes a tech turn when Griffin discusses a confusing message from their father, Clint McElroy, about his Xbox displaying the PlayStation 5 welcome screen.

Griffin McElroy (27:46): “This is a real thing that happened.”

The brothers humorously speculate on the possible explanations, ranging from technical glitches to mischievous pranks. They eventually reveal that their father might have confused the two consoles, leading to a lighthearted ribbing about his tech-savviness.

Travis McElroy (30:20): “It turns out that this was his Xbox, and that’s why he’s so reasonably perplexed by this question.”

This segment showcases the brothers’ ability to turn everyday technological mishaps into entertaining anecdotes, resonating with listeners who often encounter similar issues.

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5. Ringo Starr’s Pizza Statement

In a quirky segment, Justin brings up a surprising statement attributed to Beatles’ drummer Ringo Starr, claiming he’s never had pizza due to allergies.

Justin McElroy (37:11): “Ringo Starr’s never had pizza. He said, with pizza, you don’t know what you’re putting in it half the time.”

The brothers dissect this claim, blending fact and fiction to explore its validity. They humorously debate the logistics of someone living a pizza-less life, especially someone as iconic as Ringo Starr.

Griffin McElroy (43:30): “Ringo, please, for the love of God. At this point, the man’s in his 80s. It’s just to keep the streak alive.”

Their analysis touches on themes of food sensitivities and the role of privilege in dietary choices, all while maintaining their characteristic comedic flair.

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6. Escape Room Hacks

Addressing another listener query titled “No Sherlock in New Hampshire,” the brothers provide inventive and humorous tips for excelling in escape rooms, especially for someone who admits to struggling in such scenarios.

Justin McElroy (46:18): “Our DM even used to work in an escape room. Brothers, I am terrible at escape rooms.”

The McElroys brainstorm a series of unconventional and laugh-out-loud strategies, including:

• Bringing props like black lights or magnets to aid in puzzle-solving.
• Assigning specific roles like the “hint controller” or the “organizer” to streamline teamwork.
• Implementing dramatic actions, such as tampering with lights to create distractions or hidden clues.

Griffin McElroy (49:19): “You could bring some props with you that, if it turns out, is part of the thing, like bring a powerful magnet.”

Their creative suggestions not only offer practical advice but also entertain listeners with their outlandish yet plausible ideas for escape room success.

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Notable Quotes

• Travis McElroy (02:28): “I can’t believe that you would do your job and record the podcast at the same time. That kind of split focus.”

• Justin McElroy (22:13): “I want to eat one. But I didn’t know how to break it to them that I actually do like donuts.”

• Griffin McElroy (27:46): “This is a real thing that happened.”

• Justin McElroy (37:11): “Ringo Starr’s never had pizza. He said, with pizza, you don’t know what you’re putting in it half the time.”

• Griffin McElroy (49:19): “You could bring some props with you that, if it turns out, is part of the thing, like bring a powerful magnet.”

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Conclusion

Episode 752 of My Brother, My Brother and Me encapsulates The McElroy brothers' ability to intertwine genuine advice with their signature humor. From navigating dental emergencies and workplace dilemmas to unraveling tech mishaps and fantastical claims about legendary musicians, the episode offers a rich tapestry of topics that are both entertaining and relatable. Listeners are left with laughter, insightful tips, and a deeper appreciation for the brothers' unique dynamic.

Transcript

[Travis McElroy]

The McElroy brothers are not experts and their advice should never be followed.

[Justin McElroy]

Travis insists he's a sexpert, but if.

[Travis McElroy]

There'S a degree on his wall, I haven't seen it. Also, this show isn't for kids, which I mention only so the babies out there will know how cool they are for listening.

[Griffin McElroy]

What's up, you cool baby?

[Travis McElroy]

1, 2, 3.

[Unknown]

It's the start of something beautiful A small acquaintance has blossomed it's ripened into a precious friends I could have never seen what was coming for me Hangs at the skate park Hangs by the beach My life, it feels live.

[Justin McElroy]

It'S.

[Unknown]

Better, it's better with you My life, it's better it's better with you this is true it's better, it's better with two.

[Justin McElroy]

Hello everybody, and welcome to My Brother, My Brother, Me and Vaisha from the modern era. I'm your oldest brother.

[Griffin McElroy]

This is untenable.

[Travis McElroy]

What up, trap nation? Vroom, vroom. It's me, your middlest brother, Travis. Big dog. Woof, woof.

[Griffin McElroy]

McElroy, this is Griffin. It sounds like you are trying to tell me a little secret.

[Travis McElroy]

Trying to lean over to classroom.

[Griffin McElroy]

You're drunk and trying to tell me a little drunk secret.

[Travis McElroy]

We're at like a family wedding kind of deal and you're drunk and you're.

[Griffin McElroy]

Like, here comes Uncle Justin.

[Travis McElroy]

Oh, he's gonna tell us something about Aunt Aunt, you know, Josephine that everybody knows but nobody talks about. Yeah, Justin, tell us about it.

[Justin McElroy]

I got. Okay, well, I got a root canal. And this is the time that they could get me in because it was an emergency because my mouth hurts so bad.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Justin McElroy]

And this is the time they could get me in 11 o'clock. And that was the time that I have to. After that, do my brother, my brother me here.

[Griffin McElroy]

Oh, so that's where I start talking.

[Justin McElroy]

This is the thing is. Griffin, can I tell you something?

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Justin McElroy]

This is the time I do my job. You know what I mean? Like, this is the time I do my job.

[Griffin McElroy]

For sure. For sure.

[Justin McElroy]

This is the time when the professor.

[Travis McElroy]

I can't believe. Justin. I can't believe that you would do your job and record my brother, my brother and me at the same time. That kind of split focus.

[Griffin McElroy]

That's weird.

[Justin McElroy]

No, no. This is my job, Travis.

[Travis McElroy]

What?

[Justin McElroy]

This is my brother, my brother me. My brother, my brother, me is my job.

[Griffin McElroy]

So the thing is, and obviously there's nothing implicitly funny about making fun of the way someone talks. I want to say that out loud to acknowledge it. What I'm saying is that the time we record this show is and can be quite flexible. We're your brothers, and we love you, and we record this bad boy a good five days in advance.

[Justin McElroy]

So I love you too, man. Thank you so much.

[Griffin McElroy]

But it feels, and it feels to me like you sent us a video from the car. Like, I'm fucked up. Let's do this, baby.

[Travis McElroy]

Why was.

[Griffin McElroy]

Almost seemed like you wanted to do that, like you wanted to see what happened.

[Travis McElroy]

That's kind of hard to note on the job aspect of it. Like, if you were a pitcher and you had just gotten some kind of thing done to your arm that made your arm numb and you're like, put me in, coach. I'm ready to pitch.

[Griffin McElroy]

Or if you were a podcaster and you accidentally glued a kazoo into your mouth and then you were like, okay, but our podcast doesn't go up for five days. I got this kazoo in my mouth. We got a roll, baby.

[Justin McElroy]

Wade Boggs pounds too many brewskis the night before. And then the next morning he called.

[Travis McElroy]

It getting bogged down, please.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Justin McElroy]

And then next morning, he's got to go out and hit home runs. Okay.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Justin McElroy]

That's when he does his job. Do you understand? 11:30 on Wednesdays is when I do my job.

[Travis McElroy]

It's 12:15.

[Justin McElroy]

The only yeah I had is a little late because of my root canal. I don't know if you heard, Trav.

[Griffin McElroy]

I heard. And continue to hear every word a.

[Justin McElroy]

Little bit because he was drilling in my tubes.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah, I'm just saying.

[Travis McElroy]

Dentist, right?

[Griffin McElroy]

Tomorrow, Friday. Juice for me. Wide open, pal. I'm saying this bad. This baseball game can play anytime we want it.

[Justin McElroy]

The only reason to reschedule there. There's only one reason. Is if I can't do my job at the time I was supposed to do my job. And Griffin, it's time to go to work.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Justin McElroy]

If I didn't have to work right now. I do what I always do when I'm not working. I go to my kids school, I pull them out. I say, I could teach them more than you, you people ever could if I didn't have to do my job. I do my other job, take my kids out of school, teach them everything they need to know.

[Travis McElroy]

Justin, I'm worried.

[Justin McElroy]

My kids are in school. That means I'm doing my job right now.

[Griffin McElroy]

Right.

[Travis McElroy]

I'm worried that your. The numbing has moved beyond your, like, lip and mouth to, like, your brain.

[Griffin McElroy]

Are you the parts of your brain that exercise restraint?

[Justin McElroy]

Okay. I mean, it was not the most pleasant experience.

[Travis McElroy]

So, like any dude.

[Justin McElroy]

Yeah, I'm feeling a little shaken up, you know? Okay.

[Griffin McElroy]

But I didn't. I also didn't Skype you guys into my vasectomy.

[Travis McElroy]

Right. Like, no matter how much we asked.

[Griffin McElroy]

I didn't make you a part of that.

[Justin McElroy]

I think the difference is for the shows that you miss because of your vasectomy.

[Griffin McElroy]

Right?

[Justin McElroy]

This is when I.

[Griffin McElroy]

No, no, no, don't say that to end that sentence. That ending doesn't end. That sentence you can't say because of the time you took off your vasectomy. This is when I do my job.

[Travis McElroy]

We only have so many.

[Justin McElroy]

I'll say it. That was the choice that you made for you, right? You used your sick.

[Griffin McElroy]

The choice I made for me was to record. If I may, it was to record the episodes of the podcast that I would have done during vasectomy time at a different time. Do you know what I mean? That was the choice I made. And you have made a different one today.

[Justin McElroy]

Okay. Yeah, but I had. When I left the tooth doctor, my tooth doctor, Dr. Chomp, he said to.

[Griffin McElroy]

Me, justin, hold on. What?

[Justin McElroy]

Make him laugh today. Well, you go out there and I did my job.

[Travis McElroy]

And then he took a big huff off of the nitrous that he had.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Travis McElroy]

He was like, you got there. You did the same thing for them.

[Justin McElroy]

Yeah. He said. He said, justin, I'm feeling. I gotta be honest with you. I'm feeling kind of low. And I was like, that's too. I hate to hear that, Dr. Chomp. And he said, just promised me, like, I did my job, right? And I was like, yeah, you did.

[Griffin McElroy]

And he said, this is. This is when I do my job, is what he said.

[Justin McElroy]

He said, well, no, because he had already done it at this point. He ain't lit his cigarette just now.

[Griffin McElroy]

Just now is when I do my job.

[Justin McElroy]

So he had lit up. He had lit up in the office, and he been like, that was when I did my job.

[Travis McElroy]

He's ripping.

[Griffin McElroy]

Hold on. He's. This dentist was ripping darts in his own office.

[Justin McElroy]

I don't know if it's a dentist or not, because my dentist won't do the root canal. So I don't know if this guy's a different guy.

[Griffin McElroy]

Are they afraid of it?

[Travis McElroy]

It was cosmetic. It was a cosmetic.

[Justin McElroy]

Cosmetic root canal. Yeah, I was having some. Some neon put in there.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah, well, you just had. You had ugly roots before. I think we can all agree you.

[Travis McElroy]

Gotta get your roots done.

[Griffin McElroy]

Your gnarled tooth roots.

[Travis McElroy]

Do you think there's ever a time when, like, Dr. Chomp goes to, like, the therapist, and he's like, my tooth hurts so bad I can't laugh. And the therapist's like, well, you gotta go see this amazing dentist. His name is Dr. Chomp. And he says, but, doctor. That's the problem.

[Griffin McElroy]

But Dr. Chomp.

[Travis McElroy]

I am Dr. Chomp.

[Justin McElroy]

Dr. Chomp. Yeah. I mean, it's haunting, Travis, just to hear you.

[Travis McElroy]

It has to keep going up, right? Cause if you're the clown Pagliaccci making the dent laugh. Okay, cool. Now who's taking care of the dentist? Teeth. You know what I mean?

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah, yeah.

[Justin McElroy]

Who?

[Travis McElroy]

Tooth doctors. The tooth doctorsman, you know?

[Justin McElroy]

Really? Draft killer. Point man, as always.

[Travis McElroy]

We don't think about this, but life is about community, people. It takes a village to take care of teeth.

[Justin McElroy]

Trav, do you want to speak on this? I see at the top here a Groundhog's Day update. Slash clarification. Is this a question or is this. Well, so we talking news or.

[Travis McElroy]

We talk a lot about Groundhog's Day. A couple weeks ago, roundabout Groundhog's Day, we got an update from Alexis, who lives in Punxsutawney, first of all, telling us that the people of Punxsutawney, by and large, dislike Groundhog Day because of the huge flux of groundhog heads who come in and just fill up and take advantage of the city's small infrastructure.

[Justin McElroy]

But did you say they take advantage of you? Say they hog it? Because I'd say they.

[Travis McElroy]

Oh, man. But Alexis also shared, there are some very weird things about the holiday that I think you'd enjoy, such as the inner circle, Phil's closest group of pals, who make sure he gets the elixir of life every year so he can continue making his predictions. Also, to answer Theresa's question, because we talked about it on trainers, too, the inner circle doesn't have to guess. If Phil sees his shadow, they ask him directly in Groundhog Ease, which only the president of the inner circle can understand. Phil and Phyllis have also recently become parents to two little groundhogs, Sunny and Shadow.

[Griffin McElroy]

I don't need to know about the groundhog's family. Everything else you said kicks ass.

[Travis McElroy]

Well, as far as I know, only Phil and Phyllis get the elixir of life.

[Griffin McElroy]

Okay. It's nice that they give them to both of them. And it's not just Phil or Phyllis who then have to watch as spouse after spouse.

[Justin McElroy]

Oh, you should listen to musical on TikTok about this exact subject because it is heart wrenching Listen, Alexis, I do have to quibble with one thing everyone hates in punk. Satani hates that everybody comes in to, like, see the groundhog and do the groundhog stuff. And then you're like, come closer. It is actually so cool and actually cooler than anybody knows about. Like, why are you trying to make it more appealing now? I definitely, definitely want to come and see this crazy inner circle and everything.

[Travis McElroy]

I don't know what the nightlife scene is in Punxsutawney, but I bet if you're in Phil's inner circle, you own.

[Griffin McElroy]

Town, you run that shit. You will never buy your own weed if you're part of the inner circle. No way someone's got you.

[Travis McElroy]

How do you think you learn groundhog ease? You know, you gotta reach a higher plane.

[Griffin McElroy]

That would be cool if this person, this elected official, I guess, did have a sort of cult of personality about them. Like, yeah, man, one day I ascended the mountaintop. I claimed the great power within. And now I can speak to groundhogs. So.

[Travis McElroy]

But you know that every time that happens like that, that elected official knows that, like, he is still living in the. Let's call it what it is, shadow of a great man that, like, yeah, he's high up there and he's wielding the power, but he is the right hand to the true kid.

[Griffin McElroy]

To the real.

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah, to the real the groundhog. There must be a moment when that elected official goes to pull out of whatever hutch they keep him in so that he doesn't.

[Griffin McElroy]

I don't think they yank. Do they yank him?

[Justin McElroy]

They freeze him. I think. I think they freeze.

[Griffin McElroy]

They freeze him.

[Justin McElroy]

I think they freeze him between. Between the days. Cause they've had the same guy going for him.

[Travis McElroy]

The elixir of life keeps him eternal. But there must be a moment when he goes to pull him out where he thinks, like, this bastard I could. He's gonna take all the limelight from me, but I need him. Oh, but I wish I didn't need him. I'm so jealous and I love him so much at the same time.

[Griffin McElroy]

That's the thing. Because he can speak groundhog. The elected groundhog conduit knows that punks. Tinyfield is a real shithead, a real problematic fave. And he wants nothing more than to throw him right on the ground anytime he pulls him out.

[Travis McElroy]

But no one believe him.

[Griffin McElroy]

If you guys understood some of the shit that Punxsutawney. They pull him out of that hole and he immediately starts screaming. Just the worst stuff you've ever heard. Or imagined.

[Travis McElroy]

Griffin, you took three years of groundhoggies in high school, right? Would you say you're fluent?

[Griffin McElroy]

I took three years in high school. I took one double credit AP class in college, which they don't usually offer those. And so, yeah, I mean, I can speak. I can read it, but I can't speak it, which sucks, because they definitely can't write.

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah. If you found yourself, like, if you woke up right now in the middle of, like, a groundhog complex of tunnels, you think you could find your way out?

[Griffin McElroy]

I get out of. Yeah, yeah.

[Travis McElroy]

You're with a.

[Justin McElroy]

Hand it to us. Right. A lot of shows don't have the guts to go on a full protracted groundhog run. A full calendar month after Groundhog Day has passed. But you can't come to us here in March. We are still going to be on about Groundhog Day.

[Travis McElroy]

Christmas has a long lead up, but Groundhog Day has a long tail. You know what I mean? Ironically, you got to remember it.

[Justin McElroy]

Maybe if we brought him up a bit more, there'd be a bit of accountability. Yeah, maybe if we remembered him in April, and we're like, huh, this is weird. And exactly line up with what you were talking about. Let's check in in May. What do you think, Phil?

[Travis McElroy]

Why don't we let him predict other things?

[Griffin McElroy]

Yes.

[Travis McElroy]

You know what I mean? God, why are we just asking that one time a year? Like, is there going to be more winter or not? Right. Like, we all agree on his prognostication abilities, and yet we're not asking him about global markets. We're not asking him about, you know, anything related to, like, hey, what's the future look like? Do we need to get on this problem? How are we working? And he's just like, ask me about winter, boys.

[Griffin McElroy]

Justin is just looking more and more impressed with how much meat we've carved.

[Justin McElroy]

Off this in March.

[Griffin McElroy]

Old stinky bone in March.

[Justin McElroy]

I'm going to ask you a question just for old time's sake. Longtime transgender listener, first time question asker. I'm going to be on testosterone soon and plan on doing a weekly vlog where I talk about the changes happening in my body. One I'm really looking forward to. Is my voice lowering. Here's my conundrum. I want a cool sentence to be able to say each week to measure how my voice changes. I thought about doing a sentence every phoneme. Like, the sound. It's like the sound. Yes, but they all sound lame. So I'm coming to the coolest men I know about. I Just need a cool sentence, preferably with lots of sounds. That's from trying to be a cool cat in Kentucky.

[Travis McElroy]

Isn't that. What's the one. What's the one thing the quick brown fox jumped over his dog.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah, but that doesn't sound cool.

[Justin McElroy]

That's typewriter.

[Travis McElroy]

Oh, yeah. Cause that has every letter in it.

[Justin McElroy]

Yeah, that doesn't help.

[Travis McElroy]

What's wrong with a lot of sounds?

[Justin McElroy]

Well, you know what? Treff. Let me tell you. Let me see if I can find one real quick. Hold on.

[Travis McElroy]

A lot of vowels would have to be in there, right? Like, oh, man, the beans fell on my foot. Ow.

[Justin McElroy]

Okay.

[Griffin McElroy]

Hey, man, the bean. Hey, man, the beans fell on my foot.

[Travis McElroy]

Are those your beans or our beans? Does that have to be just one sentence? Could be a complex short story about beans and the ownership of them, maybe.

[Griffin McElroy]

Are you doing. Are you good?

[Travis McElroy]

Juice? He's sorry. Phonemes.

[Justin McElroy]

I told you guys what I was doing, so I thought we would wait for. I was trying to look up a sentence that has all of the. And leave dead air in it. What?

[Travis McElroy]

And leave dead air.

[Justin McElroy]

I said that I was doing it, and you guys continued to.

[Griffin McElroy]

It's just usually when we set up a bit as a question, we joke about the answer instead of saying we don't do it. Let me get on in carta. And talked about how they were.

[Justin McElroy]

They said the sentences were not cool. So I was curious what the sentences were and what we had to do better then.

[Travis McElroy]

Well, then maybe we're coming at this from the wrong direction. Maybe we should start with it feels that way. We should start with a cool sentence and then add sounds to it.

[Griffin McElroy]

Add sounds to it. Make it.

[Justin McElroy]

Okay.

[Griffin McElroy]

Funny in a funny way.

[Justin McElroy]

Don't forget what Dr. Charles Cartime. Dude, that's ah. I, a, I, I.

[Travis McElroy]

We can throw in. It's car time. It's car time.

[Griffin McElroy]

It's car time.

[Travis McElroy]

Baby dude. Baby dude. Little man.

[Griffin McElroy]

B. Dude.

[Justin McElroy]

It R. I'm little man. Little man. And baby man. Car time. Man, that's it. I think.

[Travis McElroy]

No, I think we're getting hung up on vowel sounds.

[Justin McElroy]

Yeah, those are some of them, though.

[Travis McElroy]

I mean, some.

[Griffin McElroy]

I know we're getting into some pretty experimental audio right now.

[Justin McElroy]

If only we had a reference point, you know what I mean? If all we had a reference point for what we had.

[Travis McElroy]

Time. Baby man. Boot that shit up.

[Griffin McElroy]

Boot that baby.

[Travis McElroy]

Boot that nasty. Boot that nasty trunk.

[Justin McElroy]

Trunk.

[Travis McElroy]

Dundo. Dundo.

[Griffin McElroy]

Between this and our naming it to Naming of the Year episodes, this has been our most sort of gruntable Season of My Brother, My Brother and Me.

[Travis McElroy]

So far, I think maybe just the opening line from Tool Time might, where I'm like, it's Tool Time with him.

[Justin McElroy]

And out, it's Tool Time.

[Griffin McElroy]

You know, it'd be great, is you could learn every part of an acapella song. Maybe by, like, the Brown Derbys or something like that. You could do Joel's. You could do Joel's fucking down Easter. Alexa. If. If you so choose and you learn every part and you start with whichever one feels more comfortable, and then you'll hit these thresholds where it's like, okay, here I go. Down, down. Oh, nope. It's time to move down a level. And then all of a sudden, you.

[Justin McElroy]

Just gradually harmonize yourself.

[Travis McElroy]

Oh. And yeah. Then you can layer them together later.

[Griffin McElroy]

You alto that. Yes. And then when you come in, I mean, I don't know how deep. How deep it can possibly go, but I've heard some pretty deep voices in my time. You could get that good. Baby back ribs.

[Justin McElroy]

Oh, Griffin.

[Travis McElroy]

Baby back ribs is good.

[Justin McElroy]

I want my baby back. Baby back, baby back. Because that gets, like, lower. And I feel like you could kind of test the bounds a little bit. Like, start here. Definitely Chili's Baby Mac Ribs. And then you go like barbecue sauce. Bring it down, pick it. How low you can go.

[Griffin McElroy]

But I said, learn every part of an acapella song. The first one in my mind was not the Chili's Baby back ribs.

[Justin McElroy]

That's the only one.

[Griffin McElroy]

It's one, everyone.

[Travis McElroy]

The other ones are just. Just kind of iterations on that theme.

[Justin McElroy]

Go, Goodbye, my Coney island baby. That's one. It's that one. And baby, big babes.

[Travis McElroy]

I'm trying to think of, like, really cool, like, hard ass lines from movies.

[Griffin McElroy]

An acapella song. Unfortunately, I've.

[Travis McElroy]

Well, that's something from Pitch Perfect.

[Justin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Travis McElroy]

It's the only acapella movie I can think of. What's.

[Justin McElroy]

What's, like. Trav, what do you think is, like, a cool movie?

[Travis McElroy]

What's a cool movie?

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah, it can just be. It doesn't have to be.

[Travis McElroy]

I'm just a dog Chasing cars is the good one. Do you want to see a magic trick?

[Justin McElroy]

But he's not, like, notably, like, low voiced. Right? Like, I think you. It's like, maybe like a ving. That's just pride fucking with you. Maybe you get some. Yeah, like something like that. Some ving rhames or.

[Travis McElroy]

Clancy Brown.

[Justin McElroy]

There's, like, a notably low voice.

[Travis McElroy]

Brown has a deep voice.

[Justin McElroy]

Oh, Clancy Brown. What's some of your favorite cortex lines from the Crash Bandicoot games.

[Travis McElroy]

That's a good question. How do you choose?

[Griffin McElroy]

Definitely the one I have tattooed across my chest. Crash Bandicoot. Set that Wumpa Fruit down. I'm so disappointed in you.

[Justin McElroy]

That's a new one.

[Travis McElroy]

There's a lot of sounds in there.

[Griffin McElroy]

Have you seen it? That might be it. Crash Bandicoot set. That wampa fruit isn't one of them. Down.

[Travis McElroy]

I'm very disappointed in you.

[Griffin McElroy]

I'm very disappointed in you. Maybe it's a threat and you want to see. It's not just the timbre, it's not just the pitch of the voice that is changing. The amount of sort of intense energy you're able to.

[Justin McElroy]

Implied threat.

[Travis McElroy]

Oh, that's it. Going from Tombstone. Johnny Ringo. You look like somebody walked over your grave.

[Justin McElroy]

Tombstone is always the greatest repository for.

[Travis McElroy]

Like, I mean, smoke that. What is it? Skin that Smoke wagon is another good one.

[Justin McElroy]

Skin that Smoke Wagon. Yeah. Whoa.

[Travis McElroy]

So I don't know, maybe the most befuddling way to tell someone to draw their gun that you could ever do.

[Griffin McElroy]

Like I. Yeah, I didn't put that together until you said that if I was in a Wild west duel with. With the guy with Val Kilmer and he said that I would be like, what? I would look around. Smoke wagon. What do you mean, dude?

[Travis McElroy]

What do you mean?

[Justin McElroy]

I got it. Oh, yeah. It's the funnest thing to do with your mouth, basically. And you could do it at the beginning and end of every episode. And if you ran out of things to say in the middle, you could just like bust it out and everybody be pretty excited to get to hear it, I think.

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah, that's a good one.

[Justin McElroy]

Ferris Bueller day off.

[Travis McElroy]

Always.

[Justin McElroy]

Always.

[Travis McElroy]

Oh, is that what that is?

[Justin McElroy]

It was Travis actually. Yeah.

[Travis McElroy]

Okay.

[Griffin McElroy]

You could get the guy from that song as a guest on your first episode.

[Justin McElroy]

Crash Test Dummies.

[Griffin McElroy]

Was it Crash Test Dummies who did the.

[Justin McElroy]

No, I thought you were just talking. He's like a really low voiced guy. I just thought you were talking about Crash Test Dummies out of nowhere. It was like really random.

[Travis McElroy]

There was this girl.

[Griffin McElroy]

Am I losing my mind or have we done a contest on this very show to see which of the three of us can get the lowest on baby battles Griffin.

[Travis McElroy]

This episode 752. We've done everything before.

[Justin McElroy]

It's not about finding new things. It's about how do we revisit the questions we've already answered for ourselves, you know?

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah, that's Beautiful. It's beautiful. Meditative and kind of.

[Justin McElroy]

The questions can change. The questions are the same. It's the answers that get different.

[Travis McElroy]

You're saying we could.

[Griffin McElroy]

It seems like you'd want it to be the other way around.

[Justin McElroy]

It would be more grammatically and like from an oratorical perspective. It would be more satisfying to put it that way. But no, I don't think it works that way. I recently started a new job and within my first two weeks several people there had birthdays. They're apparently a big birthday office and always bring in donuts to celebrate. I personally love donuts but never ate any that were brought in because I felt anxious of the new job. And nothing makes me more uncomfortable than eating in front of strangers. Fortunately, about a week later, my birthday came around. I showed to work expecting to be greeted with donuts, but found they had gotten me a coffee instead. My new co workers proudly told me they noticed I don't like donuts. Sorry, I missed a line here. Notice I didn't like donuts and very thoughtfully got me a coffee instead. I was so kind. It was so kind to them and they were so excited to have gotten me something that I liked that I didn't want to correct them and I just played along. Now I'm getting more comfortable around them and they brought in more donuts. Today I want to eat one. But I didn't know how to break it to them that I actually do like donuts. Brothers, how could I start eating donuts at work without seeming like I lied about being a donut hater? That's from Donut Lovers Dilemma. And man, this one doesn't feel like any fault of your own. A lot of times people come to us and we can tell them they've already messed up. I don't. This wasn't a mess up. Like this seems like an actual people found, like an actual new problem. This is not one that I've heard about before.

[Griffin McElroy]

This is original.

[Justin McElroy]

This is original. Good job.

[Travis McElroy]

I think that there's a way to use this to actually be a benefit beneficial in this situation. You're going to tell them the next time there's donuts you're gonna say, can I be honest, guys? I guess it's just that I've never tried donuts before.

[Griffin McElroy]

Okay.

[Travis McElroy]

I've been too scared. Oh, okay.

[Griffin McElroy]

I haven't had the right group of people to help me get through that journey. But if you guys wanna do a little team building right now, I just.

[Travis McElroy]

Don'T know where to start with donuts. And then they're going to be so excited to share donuts with you. You're probably going to get more donuts than if you had just started eating donuts to begin with. Because then you can have one donut and be like, I've been missing out my whole life. I could have been having this.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Travis McElroy]

And then they're going to be so excited to share donuts with you.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah. And you'll get to eat, like, 100 donuts. You'll be living good. Can you. Can you walk into the kitchen where the donuts are and pick one up and be like, oh, sweet. Whole buns? And people are like, what? And you say, these are whole buns. The buns with holes in them.

[Justin McElroy]

One of my favorite foods.

[Griffin McElroy]

Bun holes. One of my favorite foods. And they're like, uh, that's donuts. And you say, this is donuts. I like this. I like these. I thought these were whole buns. You're saying these are donuts. I like those a lot, actually.

[Justin McElroy]

Maybe you could go to someone the next time there's donuts and say, I was just curious who I paid the money to to join your donut club. Then I'm assuming there's some sort of donut. I know I was never invited, but I would really like to get into donut club. So if I could sign up somewhere or something like that to get in.

[Travis McElroy]

On donut club or like. Or like. So how much is it to eat a donut? I haven't had any cash with me.

[Justin McElroy]

Try to buy one.

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah.

[Justin McElroy]

Like, I finally remember to bring money on donut day. I have $3.

[Travis McElroy]

Is that enough for a donut?

[Justin McElroy]

Set it up for a donut.

[Griffin McElroy]

Do you take apple pay?

[Justin McElroy]

Make you the boss?

[Griffin McElroy]

You do apple pay for donut?

[Travis McElroy]

I can. Then I can. Venmo. I set it up today.

[Justin McElroy]

I have $2. Can you cut one in half?

[Griffin McElroy]

What do you go for? What do you go for? To give the appearance of your first donut. Because the easy sell is you walk in like, you know what? Fuck it. I'm going to try eating a donut. And you walk over. Do you go with one that has, like, what if you.

[Justin McElroy]

What if you like. Maybe you try an eclair and you're like, you know what? I like this so much. Maybe I've been wrong about donuts this whole time. Like, I'm gonna give donuts another shot. Cause I like, I tried the eclair that you guys brought in and actually, like this. And if donuts are anything like eclairs, I think I could. Could really get into it.

[Travis McElroy]

Here's the problem, though, J man, I think if you take a bite, you've never had donuts before in this kayfabe, right? And you take a bite of eclair and you don't act at least a little shocked that there's something inside of it, that you're like, they didn't fully cook this one. It's raw in the middle. Look at it gooping out. You gotta. I think you'd have to play it up big to be surprised that there's stuff inside it.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Travis McElroy]

Pick up the story.

[Griffin McElroy]

Pick up a powdered sugar donut. And by the end of it, be a mess. Be an absolute mess.

[Travis McElroy]

Start coughing a lot.

[Griffin McElroy]

And they'll be like, that has to be the first time that they have eaten a powdered donut. Cause there's some tech to it that you do need to practice.

[Travis McElroy]

Pick up a powdered donut and ask them for a wet nap to clean it off so you can eat it. This one's all dusty. This one's all dusty. I think it's really old. Can we clean this donut off so I could try this one?

[Griffin McElroy]

This donut's covered in small, colorful pills. And I don't know why I'd eat that. It seems like it would make me pretty sick. They're sprinkles.

[Travis McElroy]

Okay, I'm fired. Okay, yeah, I get that.

[Griffin McElroy]

I am fired.

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah, yeah. This is a donut factory. Okay, cool.

[Justin McElroy]

Thank you.

[Griffin McElroy]

Before we go to the Money Zone, can we talk about some recent communique we received from our father, Clint McElroy, our recent success?

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Griffin McElroy]

My daddy's a gamer.

[Travis McElroy]

Oh, yeah.

[Griffin McElroy]

Maybe only just. Elden Ring for the past three years or however long that game's been out, but he's a real gamer. He has all the video game consoles. And Sunday night he texts the three of us and says, why does. Do any of you know why this keeps happening to my Xbox?

[Travis McElroy]

Can I pause real quick, Griffin, before you keep going, you have to know context wise. We get texts like this about things related to computers and tech setup constantly. This was intentional and sincere.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah, this wasn't. This is. Our dad is not pulling punks on us. This is a real thing that happened. Are you pulling it out?

[Justin McElroy]

I think that if I have. Hold on. I'm going to see if I can for posterity's sake.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah. So exact wording here. This keeps happening to my Xbox. Any ideas? And then the image that he did also send to us is the welcome splash screen for the PlayStation 5. It says @ the top of the screen, welcome back to PlayStation 5. It does say that on the screen.

[Justin McElroy]

And then dad sends that image and it says, this keeps happening to my Xbox. Any ideas?

[Travis McElroy]

And even there's nothing clearly indicated outside the fact that it's PlayStation on Xbox that he could be talking about. What's wrong?

[Justin McElroy]

Yeah, it's not immediately impaired.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah. What advice did he think we could give about your Xbox showing PlayStation. Shit.

[Travis McElroy]

Well, how close is your Xbox to your PlayStation, man? It might be bleeding over.

[Griffin McElroy]

Plug your phone.

[Justin McElroy]

Cross contamination might be happening here.

[Griffin McElroy]

Plug your phone into the Xbox. We will integrate with the system. So. And we're gonna patch through an update that should get you taken care of.

[Travis McElroy]

We're gonna get you a little reboot guy in there, and he's gonna take care of this right now.

[Griffin McElroy]

Be a great prank to play on one of your Sony crony friends.

[Justin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Griffin McElroy]

Or one of you fucking it up.

[Justin McElroy]

And it's like, oh, my God. And you rush to cover the screen.

[Travis McElroy]

Like, oh, no.

[Justin McElroy]

No one.

[Griffin McElroy]

Look, I would never. But all your Sony crony buddies are there. They're kicking your ass. It's too late. They're already beating your ass into the ground.

[Justin McElroy]

I should have followed up on this to see if dad ever figured out what the problem was. We just kind of razzed on him and didn't ask what he meant, so I should have followed up.

[Travis McElroy]

It turns out that this was his Xbox and that's why he's so. He's reasonably perplexed by this question.

[Justin McElroy]

We were like, no, you stupid, dumb shit.

[Travis McElroy]

And he's like, okay, then. I don't know.

[Justin McElroy]

This is the same guy that restarted Elden Ring like, four times because it would just mysteriously, like, get deleted or something. Like, it's untenable.

[Griffin McElroy]

I understand struggling with tech stuff as you get older. It's already happening to me. There's some tech stuff that I'm like, I don't. I don't get it. But it is 2025. I feel like everyone should have gotten the net about the input function of the TV remote control. We have so many buttons on there that give you instantaneous access to TV channels. TV channels, TV channels. No one uses fucking any of those anymore. They use one button that makes it switch between all their other shit that they. So input button. That's got to be on the freshman level curriculum.

[Justin McElroy]

I feel like I absolutely agree. Griffin. Harder.

[Travis McElroy]

I hope he figured it out.

[Griffin McElroy]

Only button.

[Justin McElroy]

Hey, let's take a Brief break and then we come back, we will do more of this. How's that sound? More of the same, but different and more and more.

[Unknown]

It's better. It's better.

[Travis McElroy]

You know, everybody, I'm ready to admit this has been hard for me and I'm just ready to admit it. I need glasses or some sort of corrective lenses to see.

[Justin McElroy]

Wow. Travel, dude.

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah. People see me in glasses and they think what a cool, stylish, fashionable person. But it's not.

[Justin McElroy]

Griffin walked out. Griffin walked out of the room.

[Travis McElroy]

He walked out when I said. Yeah, when I said I have to wear glasses. And he was like, my brother a nerd. And he walked out. But I've been able to hide it all these years because when people see me wearing glasses, they're like so stylish, so fabulous. It must be that he is a stylish and fashionable person and not just someone whose eyes are shaped wrong and his cones and rods are all messed up. But that's what it is. But thanks to Warby Parker, I can fix my vision and look good doing it. Because Warby Parker designs every frame in house. And their collection includes silhouettes, colors and fits made to suit every face, even my big old noggin. And you can shop them online at home, in stores at over 250 retail locations across the US and Canada. Warby Parker glasses start at just $95 and include prescription lenses with anti reflective scratch resistance.

[Griffin McElroy]

We talking about Warby Parker?

[Travis McElroy]

We are.

[Griffin McElroy]

I fucking love these guys wearing them now.

[Justin McElroy]

These glasses look so slick, it almost makes me wish I didn't have perfect vision.

[Griffin McElroy]

Oh, okay, okay.

[Travis McElroy]

It's not perfect, just different vision.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah, me and Travis didn't choose to have different vision and then record the podcast. Do you know what I mean?

[Justin McElroy]

They said this is a choice. You think I had a wisdom root.

[Travis McElroy]

Canal for fun and then immediately recorded a podcast effort. Yes. That's for the choice part. That's the part.

[Justin McElroy]

Where is it though? This is when I do my job. Okay, I'm at work right now if.

[Griffin McElroy]

You want me get started with Warby Parker's virtual try on. You can try on glasses and sunglasses, seeing the realistic color, texture and size of each style. Right from home right now. Or head over to warbyparker.com mybrother rightnow to take the home try on quiz and pick five pairs of frames to try on at home for free. That's Warby. Warbyparker.com mybrother warbyparker.com myBrother Justin, tell me about stamps.

[Travis McElroy]

I'm old enough. I can handle it.

[Justin McElroy]

You're ready for the truth. Well, I'm sorry, Travis, but the mailman has not been taking the envelopes where I ask him to because he likes me so much. It's because I've been putting stamps on them. What? I've been cheating the system. I've been slipping him these little pieces of paper exchange. He will take the letter wherever I want to go.

[Travis McElroy]

But the life hack. I see.

[Griffin McElroy]

Cool.

[Justin McElroy]

I know. But I found a way to make it even easier. I used to have to go to the post office or Big Beer to buy these things, but now I'm getting [e-mail]. they handle all my shipping needs for me, trav. They got USPS, ups and big savings, man. Like up to 88% off. How's that grab you?

[Travis McElroy]

So I don't have to go to the Post Malone office just to get Sam's anymore?

[Justin McElroy]

No, no, you don't. You can just get them on the Internet. They'll send you a scale. Post Malone office. That's.

[Griffin McElroy]

Where are you going?

[Travis McElroy]

What are you talking about? Sorry, I say his full name. I don't know him personally, so just calling him by his first name feels weird. So I like to use his full name. Post Malone's office.

[Griffin McElroy]

What do you guys think Post Malone's office looks like? How do you think he's decorated it?

[Justin McElroy]

I'll tell you, if they're anything like his Oreos, they're fucking.

[Griffin McElroy]

It's a fucking delicious fucking well done. Hey, Mr. Malone. Well done.

[Justin McElroy]

Well done on your Oreos, Postie. We all had them back.

[Travis McElroy]

I did. I was sick, but Travis was sick.

[Justin McElroy]

But I've had them and they're good. You did a good job.

[Griffin McElroy]

I was sick too. And the Post Malone Oreos made.

[Justin McElroy]

They didn't pay for this. They didn't pay for this.

[Travis McElroy]

No.

[Justin McElroy]

You want to ship Post Malone Oreos, you can. You can ship whatever you want. You can do it for up to 88% off. Sign up@sam's.com. use the code, my brother. For a special offer that includes a four week trial plus free postage and a free digital scale. No long term commitments or contracts. Just go to stamps.com. use the code, my brother.

[Griffin McElroy]

You really put some stank on that one, man.

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah, I like that. Okay.

[Justin McElroy]

I want a munch. I want to Munch Squad. Welcome to Munch Squad. It's a podcast of the podcast. That's how the Beatles sound.

[Griffin McElroy]

Oh, okay. I was about to say the Munch Squad intro is. I think A good thing to do to, like, test out lower newer voices. It has a lot of really cool stuff that you can.

[Travis McElroy]

It covers eight octaves.

[Justin McElroy]

This is a different kind of. This is a different kind of one than what we would normally do because it's. Normally we're profiling sort of the movers and shakers in the fast food industry. And today I just. I learned something a few weeks ago, and it's been going around in my head a lot ever since I saw this, like, this factoid being reported by my friend fish boy on TikTok.

[Travis McElroy]

Okay, hit us with it, Big Munch.

[Justin McElroy]

You ready?

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Justin McElroy]

Ringo Starr's never had pizza.

[Travis McElroy]

Wait, according to who?

[Justin McElroy]

Ringo Starr talking to Jimmy Kimmel said, with pizza, you don't know what you're putting in it half the time. He said he's never had a pizza.

[Griffin McElroy]

Those two thoughts existing in the same head is, I've never had pizza. And also, you can't trust what people are putting in pizza these days. Those two thoughts seem insane to be held together in a. In a marriage, in a union.

[Justin McElroy]

This is where I feel like I want to be.

[Travis McElroy]

I.

[Justin McElroy]

This is. He says about food sensitivities. So I understand that. And I feel like if any podcast has been at the forefront of food insensitivity acceptance, it is my brother, my brother and me. This is an absolute safe place for people with food intolerance.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah. Did you see how he didn't do the Tummy Buddy Time motto? Yeah, that was for that exact place.

[Travis McElroy]

He's perfectly safe space.

[Justin McElroy]

But so he says it's about onions and garlic and other spices that he's allergic to. And my man, just make one without that.

[Travis McElroy]

It is pizza, baby. Just make one.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah. It's a circle with sauce and cheese. And you don't even honestly need those.

[Justin McElroy]

You don't need to be circle. It don't gotta got sauce or cheese. It's the loosest conceptual arrangement of food.

[Travis McElroy]

Do you guys ever find yourself, like, saying some, like an opinion or something without thinking about it? And it's a real bold and brassy thing where you're like, oh, I don't care for mustard. Like, I hate mustard. Right? And then people are like, oh, man, really? Why? And then you think about it after you said it, and you're like, I mean, I don't hate mine. I just don't pity. But now you're, like, locked in, and you said it. Is it possible that Ringo Starr was thinking about, like, he couldn't remember the last time he had pizza?

[Griffin McElroy]

That Came out wrong.

[Justin McElroy]

Hey, let me help.

[Griffin McElroy]

Oh, okay, good. I'd do it in a second. The fans will dig it. They've waited long enough. I've just got to get the other lads to agree. I can convince them. I'll say to eat our pizza crust first. Good idea.

[Justin McElroy]

Stuffed crust pizza from Pizza Hut with cheese, bacon.

[Travis McElroy]

You'll want to eat it crust first now. With free garlic dipping sauce.

[Griffin McElroy]

Wrong. Glad Large. So, yeah, that's a pretty wildest thing I've ever seen.

[Travis McElroy]

But he doesn't take a bite.

[Griffin McElroy]

He doesn't take a bite of the pizza.

[Travis McElroy]

He doesn't take a bite.

[Justin McElroy]

That's 100% true. But like Rhaego. What are you selling me, dude?

[Griffin McElroy]

What are you selling me? You can't. The whole thing of your commercial can't be. Gotta get the lads back together. When two of the lads are dead.

[Travis McElroy]

You'Re not gonna be dead.

[Justin McElroy]

That's wild to begin with at this point. I think just one lad would be dead. But you are right that he was quite dead. He had still not died to the day after I was born. So I know he was dead.

[Travis McElroy]

All I'm saying is if you review the footage, he never takes a bite.

[Griffin McElroy]

He didn't eat any of the pizza.

[Justin McElroy]

Yeah, Trav, I 100 agree with that. And I'm not trying to be like, gotcha, you did take a bite.

[Travis McElroy]

Because this is what.

[Justin McElroy]

What. What fish boy said in his TikTok too, which is very true. It is him endorsing pizza.

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yes.

[Justin McElroy]

As a concept. He is saying like, pizza's got my seal of approval. And now he's telling Jimmy, like, you don't know with pizza. It's really messed up. I won't eat just.

[Griffin McElroy]

What a nasty impression. What a nasty impression.

[Travis McElroy]

That was a thing to not eat pizza. Spiteful impression, I would say, Justin.

[Griffin McElroy]

Spiteful, nasty spirit.

[Justin McElroy]

Can I say though, it's normally much more open hearted. But I. The. There's the numbness.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Justin McElroy]

I've lost some of the lip control.

[Travis McElroy]

Did he say that he was allergic to things in the pizza or just say you don't know what's in there.

[Justin McElroy]

The reporting from People magazine is, yeah, I'm alert. I've never had a pizza or a curry. I'm allergic to several items. With pizza you don't know what you're putting in it half the time or the curry. So I'm pretty strict with myself because it makes me ill immediately.

[Griffin McElroy]

I fully understand that. I fully, fully get that. But curry is again, a pretty loose food zone that You?

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah, man. But I could believe that because the thing is a pizza that I try to wrap my mind around the number of times that I have been places or events or hang out with people and by no action of my own there has suddenly been pizza there and I'm eating it without really thinking about it. And here was a young man who must have done so many, as I believe they're called gigs at different places in like the 60s too, people must.

[Griffin McElroy]

Have been rowing, throwing pizzas at the Beatles.

[Travis McElroy]

This is what I'm saying. There must have been so much incidental pizza in the Beatles experience.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Travis McElroy]

That you're telling me at every turn he was consciously avoiding it, even from a young age to be like, I don't know what shit's in there.

[Justin McElroy]

No.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Justin McElroy]

And listen, he did a lot of drugs with all the other guys. Right. The guys did a lot of drugs. And we're really certain that at no point anybody was like, guys, it's 3:00am Right? I just got this new thing from the States. They're calling it pizza.

[Travis McElroy]

Wait, Mick Jagger's there?

[Justin McElroy]

Yeah, me and Keith love it. You boys gotta try it too.

[Travis McElroy]

Holy shit.

[Griffin McElroy]

Hello. It's me, David Bowie. Have you heard of the American invention of pizza? It's quite.

[Travis McElroy]

And I'm Andy Warhol. Aflac. I love this shit. You gotta eat it.

[Griffin McElroy]

Well, it's quite luxurious, isn't it?

[Justin McElroy]

And listen, I know we got, we got people from all over the spectrum of neurodivergence who listen to and create these programs. And I want to say, I know there's other reasons people avoid food. He didn't fucking say that. He said he's allergic. So I'm saying, make pizza without the things that you are allergic to. Ringo, please, for the love of God. At this point, the man's in his 80s. It's just to keep the streak alive. And I'm saying, get one in there.

[Griffin McElroy]

Ringo, if he puts down a piece of bread and puts down some sort of aluminum free red sauce on there and like a slice of cheddar and then he puts, puts that in the toaster oven for a minute and a half on blast and then takes that out and eats it, can we say, Ringo, you've, you've done it, you've done it now. You've had pizza, you've done it. Yes, that's all it is.

[Travis McElroy]

But can I, can I make my stance clear here, boys?

[Justin McElroy]

Yeah, please.

[Travis McElroy]

If he had said in this interview, the first time I tried pizza, I had a severe allergic reaction to it. And I've never eaten it again. I would say 100%. I believe that that's true.

[Justin McElroy]

He only wants pizza. Shame on you.

[Travis McElroy]

But the idea that without ever trying pizza, he's just always, always had the awareness of like, I will never.

[Justin McElroy]

I will not ever eat pizza ever.

[Travis McElroy]

That's.

[Justin McElroy]

It's also, I think, an interesting. If we can send jokes out of the room for a second. I think it's also an interesting example of the role that privilege can play in our lives. Right. Because if I had tried to live a pizza less existence, I wouldn't have made it through the past week without it causing severe strife in my friends and family. How, like, it would have been a major issue, like, almost immediately.

[Griffin McElroy]

How challenging would life be if you were like Ringo Starr? And for Ringo Starr, every pizza is a tombstone pizza.

[Justin McElroy]

I'm not gonna. Let's read another question because, like, legitimately, we're not gonna say anything funnier than that.

[Travis McElroy]

We might have never said anything funny of him.

[Justin McElroy]

The. My DND group wants to start hanging out outside of campaign sessions, which is great. Problem is they want to do an escape room. All of them are reportedly very good at the activity. Our DM even used to work in an escape room. Brothers, I am terrible at escape rooms. So I guess the thing I'm asking for is escape room hacks to impress my friends. Failing that, how do I keep my cool and have a good time? That's from no Sherlock in New Hampshire. Oh, boy.

[Travis McElroy]

You know what's unappreciated in escape room group dynamics?

[Griffin McElroy]

What's that?

[Travis McElroy]

Travis, the hype person.

[Justin McElroy]

Mmm.

[Travis McElroy]

The person who.

[Justin McElroy]

Yes.

[Griffin McElroy]

A lot of morale management that does well.

[Justin McElroy]

Cause everyone you do in escape room.

[Travis McElroy]

Everybody wants to be the hero. Everybody wants to put the pieces together. Everybody wants to do the final twist of the thing. Having somebody who's like, you're solving the shit out of that puzzle Derek, would be amazing.

[Griffin McElroy]

I could never do what. You know I wouldn't like that. I need someone to get in there when I get too cranky because I'm stumped. But I don't want to hint.

[Travis McElroy]

Oh, somebody who brought gorp to keep your blood sugar levels up. Maybe snacks would be good.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah, I'll never say no to that.

[Justin McElroy]

I have a. I have a kind of a patented escape room system. Right. And I. And I would. I would highly recommend it. I. And I do not break the bank, intellectually speaking. And I. I'm in circles of people that run circles around.

[Travis McElroy]

Wait, sorry, what? Hey, no, no, no. We all have our Strengths. Right.

[Justin McElroy]

I can bake and do what's, like, whatever, you know, like.

[Travis McElroy]

Like I'm physically strong and incredibly intelligent and charismatic and talented.

[Justin McElroy]

Don't forget.

[Griffin McElroy]

And I'm good at escape rooms. And I'm.

[Travis McElroy]

You're know when to keep quiet.

[Justin McElroy]

Oh, that's a huge. That's a huge skill. But anyway, the. At the escape rooms, I'm not a smart person, so I kind of hang back. Right. And I'm watching.

[Griffin McElroy]

Not very nice person either.

[Justin McElroy]

I was kidding about that. Griffin, you're, like, super too late. Like, you guys both do a good job. I hang back. I'm, like, kind of a sniper, and I look like I'm, like, thinking about all of it. Yeah. And then I wait for my moment when something maybe occurs to me and I don't say anything, Right?

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Justin McElroy]

And then eventually I'll do, like, one thing and it'll seem like. You know what I mean? Like, I've just been waiting for it. But the thing is, I'm actually not computing anything that is happening. I'm just kind of, like, looking at where the action is and just kind of, like, being happy that people can figure it out because I can't keep up with it.

[Travis McElroy]

That's very good. You could also, if you end up finding a black light, a little black light flashlight being the blacklight person.

[Justin McElroy]

Oh, that's a good one. Or write down person.

[Travis McElroy]

Or write down person. Solid hold the flashlight person. Be the person who goes, did we ever figure out what's going on with this key? Right. Just, like, keep reminding everybody all the things you haven't figured out yet.

[Justin McElroy]

I will tell you guys, honestly, what I spend a lot of time in escape rooms doing is I'm a big. Organize the props that were already used. I like to put them into, like, used and not used piles. You know, I like to sort the piles. I can do that. I love to sort in piles. You know, I can remember which things we've used and not used.

[Griffin McElroy]

A lot of places won't tell you this, and. But they don't, like, screen for it or anything. But you can bring some props with you that, if it turns out, is part of the thing, like bring a powerful magnet. Bring a black light. Bring some bolt cutters. Bring an airsoft gun, Bring a compass.

[Travis McElroy]

Bring a big drill.

[Justin McElroy]

A drill, like a knife to get out of a place.

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah. Your own door.

[Justin McElroy]

Bring C4 charges to blow the door.

[Griffin McElroy]

Bring 5 cans of different sizes and a container of water.

[Justin McElroy]

One thing that I might try is you stand near the door. There's usually a light switch there. Right. And a lot of times in these escape rooms, the lights go off and a secret is revealed. So what I would do is wait till halfway through the escape room, when no one is thinking about it, be like, hey, guys, what about this? And then you flip the lights off. Right. If there's a secret revealed.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Justin McElroy]

Brilliant. Turn the lights back on. Everybody's like, oh, my God, how'd you do it? If there's no secret, you just open the door and leave.

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah. When you don't, you're gone.

[Justin McElroy]

Right. The lights are off and you disappear. Because you can't.

[Travis McElroy]

Now there's a new mystery.

[Justin McElroy]

Yeah. You're embarrassed. You don't want to stay there, so you leave.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah. You could also try to convince them that the. They've actually been in an escape room for a really long time, longer than they think they have been since they walked in. So you could say, like, you know, you're all trying to stop the bomb from Dr. Bloodknife. And you can be like, everyone's stumped. And you'd be like, guys, I think that We've been in Dr. Bloodknife's hideout since we entered this building. And the person working outside who told us not to smash all the furniture and smash all the lights and absolutely tear all the wires out of the wall was one of Dr. Bloodknife's minion, or perhaps Dr. Bloodknife himself. So we need to start demolishing this place, because that was a feint. That was a lie, and it's time for us to get serious about it.

[Travis McElroy]

Please. I think the most heartbreaking part of Dr. Bloodknight's backstory is how his intention was to do good and work with Doctors Without Borders and stuff. But then anytime anything evil would happen, they'd be like, well, it must be Bloodknife. His name's Bloodknife. And he's like, that's just my name. That's a family name.

[Griffin McElroy]

He was so nasty and made him set up the blood.

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah. Eventually, he had to be evil because of that.

[Griffin McElroy]

And you're in an experiment. You are in an experiment of one of Dr. Bloodknife's experiments.

[Travis McElroy]

And the way to escape is kindness. To have some faith in humanity and believe that Dr. Bloodknife isn't responsible for it. And that's the real escape is through. Jesus Christ. Wow. Forgiveness.

[Griffin McElroy]

Get him safe. Slip the cashier a Twansky and be like, can I get some Nintendo Power helpline? On escape from Dr. Bloodknife, the person.

[Travis McElroy]

Who breaks the hint kind of barrier. Because everybody wants to ask for all the hints all the time, but they don't want to be the person who says, should we get a hint? And being the person that. Who is both strong enough but willing to appear weak enough to say, like, I think we should get a hint.

[Griffin McElroy]

I've never.

[Justin McElroy]

Travis, that's so funny you say that. I have never heard someone ask for a hint where the tone is anything other than, like, I'm kind of getting a vibe in the room.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Justin McElroy]

Like, we're starting to kind of maybe want to get a hint. Like, no one's ever been like, I don't know.

[Travis McElroy]

I was not. I don't know. I'm way behind. I got nothing. I got nothing figured out. You could establish me tired and cranky.

[Griffin McElroy]

You could establish yourself as, like, the hint controller, and you stand in front of the hint button and you say, if you want a hint, you're going to have to fight me for it. And then people are really going to feel like the bully of the bully of the group. And then that way people are going to feel, we really need to grind on this. We can't. I don't want to have to fight our friend in order to get the hint.

[Travis McElroy]

But what they don't know is you're just leaning back against the button every 10 seconds, and then you're whispering out whatever you hear. Yeah, right. And you're like, I think it's this guy's. And they're like, whoa. Derek knows everything about this thing.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Justin McElroy]

But you.

[Travis McElroy]

You got an inside man.

[Justin McElroy]

Hey, thank you so much for listening to our podcast. We hope you've enjoyed yourself. And thank you to Justin McElroy today for doing his job. Even though he didn't feel like it and he didn't want to do it, his brothers insisted, and he did it anyway because that's how. That's what a professional does. That's what a pro does. You're welcome, Doc.

[Griffin McElroy]

Proud of you.

[Travis McElroy]

Thank you again to everybody who came out to Tampa and Jacksonville. We've got more tour dates announced for the 20 Thunder Drive tour. We're coming to Virginia, North Carolina, Michigan, Minnesota, and Ohio.

[Griffin McElroy]

That's real America.

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah. And, well, Ohio is where I live, so I just. I have a lot of reference for it, which is nice. All the Adventure Zone shows are going to be different versions of Taz Versus. We just did one down in Tampa, and it was an absolute blast. I mean, I was sick, but I still did a Great job because I'm a hero, too.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Travis McElroy]

A lot of bravery tickets are on sale now for those shows. More info and ticket links are available at Bit Ly Macrotours. Go get those tickets now and go ahead. We only got, like, I think two or three packages left for Champions Grove. If you haven't gotten those yet, go to championsgrove.com and get those now.

[Griffin McElroy]

Got some new merch. We got a Vasecticon hoodie designed by Evan Palmer that I absolutely adore. A hot dog. Hot dog, man. Drains you dry if you know, you know. Pin from the most recent run of Monster Factory. A bunch of stuff over at Macro.

[Justin McElroy]

I like it.

[Griffin McElroy]

10% of all merch proceeds this month will be donated to Harmony House, which helps to end homelessness in the Huntington area through permanent housing and supportive service programs.

[Travis McElroy]

I also want to say something I'm incredibly excited about. We're partnering with Kinship Goods. Hell yeah. To release a shirt designed by Pepper Raccoon. It's epperracoon on Instagram. They are a West Virginia based company who I love very much. And we have many of their. Many of their things, clothes and stickers and stuff like that. And I had the idea for a shirt celebrating the birth of Huntington because Huntington, West Virginia was born when Carlos P. Huntington was given a traffic ticket or a parking ticket for parking his horse in Holderby's Landing. And they said, you gotta pay the traffic ticket. And he said, I'm about to like, build a whole thing here. And they said, you still have to pay the ticket, man. And he said, fuck you. I'm building my own town. So the shirt is. It says born of spite.

[Griffin McElroy]

It's so sick.

[Travis McElroy]

It's a sick ass shirt.

[Griffin McElroy]

Such a sick shirt.

[Travis McElroy]

You can go to kinshipgoods.com mcelroy and go check it out and get it now. Thank you to Kinship Goods for partnering with us and all the amazing stuff that they make that I wear all the time.

[Griffin McElroy]

Thanks to Montaigne. Also, for the USTA theme song my Life Is Better with youh. It's slammer. It's a fucking ripper.

[Travis McElroy]

And don't forget, if you have a Faster Than Fear you would like us to read at the end of the episode, email that in with Faster Than Fear in the subject line. Justin, do we have one right now? Travis?

[Justin McElroy]

I do.

[Travis McElroy]

Will you read it, please?

[Justin McElroy]

Yeah, Travis, I'd be happy to, man. This year I'm gonna stop being afraid of a train chasing me through the woods like in Wrongfully Accused. A fear that has haunted me for 25 years.

[Griffin McElroy]

Amazing. So many wonderful things in this world.

[Travis McElroy]

My name is Justin McElroy. I'm Travis McElroy.

[Griffin McElroy]

I'm Griffin McElroy.

[Travis McElroy]

It's been my brother.

[Justin McElroy]

My brother me Kiss your dad square.

[Griffin McElroy]

On the lips.

[Unknown]

It'S better it's better with you My life It's better better it's better with you Is it's better it's better with you it's better with.

[Justin McElroy]

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